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The Commoner.
SEPTEMBER 23, 1004
11
M ""'WIW'Ww
Opinion Wh Unbiased
Mr. Nesbit, who has painted a pic
ture of the noble redman in warpaint
and feathers, wanted an unbiased opin
ion of his work. His wife said that
the picture was the best thing of its
kind that she had ever seen. His dear
est friend, too' was decidedly enthus
iastic. Both declared, in short, that
anyone would know at a glance that
it was intended for an Indian.
"To tell the truth," said Nesbit,
looking somewhat doubtfully at the
picture, "I haven't a great deal of con
fidence in either of you. You always
praise everything I do. Now I'm going
down to the street to see if I can find
some person who can be depended
upon to give me an absolutely unprej
udiced opinion of this picture a child,
for instance. Children always tell the
truth."
Five minutes later Nesbit returned
with three small boys whom he had
found playing marbles in the street.
'Now, boys;" he said, "take a good
look at this picture. I'll give each of
you 10 cents if you'll tell me just ex
actly what you see.!'-
"A rooster," shouted the three boys
simultaneously. Youth's Companion,
Nature s Defense
How are children so often able with
out injury to swallow such sharp
things as pins, needles, tacks and bits
of glass?- The secret, as disclosed by
Dr. Albort Exn,er of Vienna, lies in
the fact that, when a pointed or sharp
edged body comes into contact with
the lining of the stomach or intestine,
the part touched contracts and puck
ers so as to thicken itself in that
place. At the samo time it withdraws
itself in such a manner as to form a
little pocket, and gradually twists the
object around so as to turn the edge
or point away, pushing the thing
along. New York Tribune.
Personal
Secretary of the Navy Morton will
occupy tho late Senator Quay's house
in Washington thlswinter.
Kyrle Bellew and Mrs. James Brown
Potter are friends again and will act
together this theatrical season.
Spain deeply deplores the retirement
of Mazzantlni, most famous of its bull
fighters, who has 3,500 slain cattle to
his credit.
Major Donald Ross, a well known
authority on the mosquito theory of
malaria, will go to Panama as tho
guest of tho United States canal com
missioners. Judge Charles Field of Athol, Mass.,
90 years old, is the oldest practicing
lawyer in New England and the old
est judge in the United States at pres
ent exercising his judicial functions.
Goneral Baden-Pqwell of the British
army can write or draw with either
hand. Recently while his right arm
was useless because of a dog bite ho
wrote and illustrated his daily reiorts
with his left hand.
Unparliamentary But Congressional
Tho Punkvillo Dobatlng society was
in rogular session, and Mr. G. Watklns
Spurting was making an earuest pica
on tho affirmative side of tho qucs-
tlon, "Resolved, that man's cvory act
is the result of a selfish motive"
"I go further than that, Mr. Presi
dent," ho said. "About three-fourths
of tho things a man docs is becauso
he's envious of what somebody clso
does. The pin-headed speaker tuat had
mo uoor last on tho other sido lied
Hko a pirate when ho said-"
Here tho president of tho society
rapped on the desk.
"The gentleman must not use such
language as that," he said.
"Why not?"
"Becauso it isn't parliamentary."
"It may not be parliamentary, Mr.
President," vociferated Mr. G. Watkins
S'purling, loosening his collar and
rolling up his sleeves, "but, by gum,
it's congressional." Chicago Tribune.
Chang Pood
Some Vory Flno Results Follow
The wrong kind of food will put the
body in such a diseased condition that
no medicines will cure it. There is
no way but to change food. A man
in Mo. says:
"For 2 years I was troubled so with
my nerves that sometimes I was pros
trated and could hardly ever get in a
urn month at my work.
"My stomach, back and head would
throb "so I could get no rest ac night
except by fits and starts, and always
had distressing pains.
"I was quite certain tho trouble
came from my stomach but two phy
sicians could not help mo and all tho
tonics failed and so finally I .turned
to food.
When I had studied up on food
and learned what might be expected
troin leaving off meat and the rcgu
nr food I had been living on, I felt
that a change to Grape-Nuts would be
just what was required so I went to
eating it.
'Jrom the start I got stronger and
m ,eyntil x was well again and from
umi time I haven't used a bit of medi
cine fcr I haven't needed any.
"I am so much better in overy way,
Bleep soundly nowadays and am free
irom the bad dreams. Indeed this
looa has made such a great change in
me that my wife and daughter have
laken it up and w.e are never with
out Grape-Nuts on our table now
adays, it is a wonderful sustaincr,
nt S fre(luently have nothing else
at ail but a saucer of Grape-Nuts and
cream for breakfast or supper. Name
Moh by Postum Co- BattlQ Crcek
Good food and good rest. These are
i ?Ics that succeed where all the
oottled tonics and drugs fail. Ten
oays trial of Grape-Nuts will show one
ine road to health, strength and vigor.
mere's a reason."
iu00lc In each pl- for the famous
"ttle book, "The Road to Wellville."
Blasts From Ram's Horn
Laziness always lays the blame on
luck.
God's designs promise us more than
our desires.
Painting the pump doesn't purify
the product.
Good cheer puts love's gifts into
caskets of gold.
Where faith goes out soul famine
comes in.
A good nature is not always a good
character.
Gingerbread on the steeple can not
feed the people.
Toe the devil's line and you must
march to his time.
God's presence makes a desert a
garden of paradise.
A tailor-made man will satisfy a
trinket-hearted woman.
A swindle can not be sanctioned by
calling it a church fair.
Nothing is more unpractical than
the neglect of the spiritual.
When you find one sharp as a needle
he is all eye and no head.
When angels sing they do not have
to wait for cultivated ears.
The least prayer that reaches God's
throne shakes his footstool.
She Kept Still
A certain gushing lady took her 4-year-old
daughter to a photographer.
The little one could not be made still.
The camera man was as nice and
suave as he could be, called the child
all tho sweet, endearing names he
could think of, while using every de
vice of gentle persuasion to make the
little wlggler keep still. Fnially he
turned to the despairing mother and
"Madam, if you will leave your dar
ling with mo for a few minutes I think
I can succeed in taking her lovely face
to perfection."
The mother withdrew for a short
time. Soon the photofrapher sum
moned her back and exhibited a high
ly satisfactory negative. When they
reached home the mother asked.
"Nellie, what did that nico gentle
man say to you when I left you alone
with him?" ,
"Well, ho thaid," lisped Nellie, 'If
you don't thit sthill, you ugly, squint
eyed monkey, I'll thake the life ouL of
your trembling carcath.' Then I that
very sthill, mamma!" New York
Tribune.
His Fears Were Realized
A Georgia statesman says that while
he was in the shop of an opiician in
Atlanta he once heard an amusing
conversation between the proprietor ot
the establishment and an aged darkey,
who was just leaving the place with
a pair of new spectacles.
As the old chap ncared the door his
eye lighted upon a most extraordinary
lookly instrument conspicuously
placed upon a counter. The venerable
negro paused for several moments to
gaze in open-mouthed wonder at this
thing, the like of which ho had never
seen before. After a long struggle with
his curiosity, he was vanquished.
Turning to the optician, ua said:
"What is it, boss?"
"That is an opthalmomcter," replied
tho optician, in his gravest manner.
"Sho!" muttered tho old man to
himsolf as he backed out of the door,
his eyes still fastened upon tho cu
rious looking thing on tho counter.
"Sho, dat's what I was afeared it was."
Youth's Companion.
mMMMm ill PLKJHB l"l M
ximm tnlimmml
ff( Just as They Aro 1
Si ru m
1) xwm, m
m iMmm UJI' Iff
S Tho cat show a thorn catalog I- 228 tells fm
I nil about thorn. Notice tho low supply (
N can, bottom food, wholly enclosed gears, WL
Cff abionco of oil oupaorholos. Noothor Wk
l separator has thoso advantages.
wJ Ths Sharpies Ce. P. M. Sfcsrpttc (
Ml Chicago, III. Wni Chf.lH, Pa. Vm
flaking Tho People Pay
One of New York's tailors, famous
now for a score of years, made a for
tune by his claim to being the most
expensive man in the business. He
always managed to charge more than
any of his rivals and was proud of
that distinction, which he never failed
to Impress on his customers, who pre
sumably wore indifferent to expense.
Now a new hotel is going to struggle
for the same sort of reputation.
"I shall net charge more than from
10 to 15 per cent more than tho other
hotels of the same class as mine," the
proprietor said, "and I don't thinf
Americans will object to paying it. I
have "always found that tho wealthy
people are indifferent to price so long
as they feel they are getting their
money's worth. So I don't mind tell
ing how much more than the other,
hotels I shall charge.". Exchange.
Lawyer and Judge Agreed
The Ninth district of Ohio was rep
resented in congress by Judge Hall,
and this good story is told of him
while he was on the bench in the court
of common pleas:
A case of some importance was
reached on the docket and the parties
and witnesses were on hand. The at
torney for the plaintiff, Charles
Brown, was considerably in his cups,
a condition which seemed chronic with
the really brilliant lawyer. He sub
mitted motion after motion, and the
court did not appear to humor his ex
travagant demands, realizing, too, that
the attorney was not in a condition
to proceed with the case. Brown was
persistent, and Judge Hall, becoming
somewhat irritated, said:
"It Is tho opinion of this court that
the counsel for tho plaintiff is pecu
liarly disqualified at this time for con
ducting this case before the court."
"What's that, your honor?" de
manded the intoxicated lawyer.
"Tho court believes tho counsel for
the plaintiff entirely too drunk to con
tinue with the case."
"That is the first correct decision I
ever knew your honor to render."
Washington Post.
Just Dead
Since William A. Stone rethed from
the governor's chair In Pennsylvania,
eighteen months ago, he seems to have
lost all his political ambitions.
Happening Into Philadelphia recent
ly the ex-governor was approached by
a newspaper reporter who couldn't
understand why aman who once had
an eye on the United States senator
ship and who was regarded as a strong
state leader should be so consistently
quiet.
"What Is your place in politics, Gov
ernor?" asked tho reporter.
"I'll tell you a story," replied the ex
governor. "A friend of mine up in my
county of Tioga was driving along a
lonely road. Arriving in a small town
ho saw a group of men standing on
a street corner talking. He drove to
the curb and asked what was the trou
ble. "'Oh, nuthin'. Bill Jones is dead
"My friend assumed a sad expres
sion, said he was sorry, and continued:
"'What's the complaint?'
"'No complaint,' responded one of
the farmers, 'everybody 'round here's
satisfied.' And I guess they are in
my case." New York Times.
A NOTRE DAME LADY'S APPEAL.
To all knowing sufferers of .rheumatism, wheth
er muscular or of the Joint, sciatica, lumbago
backache, pains In the kidneys or neuralgia
pains, to write to her for a homo treatment
wbicb has repeatedly cured all of these tortures
She feels It her duty to send it to all Aufferem
FREE. You cure yourself at home as thousand
will testify no change of climate being neces
rnry This simple discovery banishes uric acid
frm the blood, loosens the stiffened joints
purifies the blood, and brightens the eyes, giv
ing elasticity and tone to the whole system. If.
the above Interests you, for proof address Mrs.
M. gammers. Box 1W, Notre Dame. Ind,
"4
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