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The Commoner.
VOLUME 4, NUMBER L
Afof Cow Money
You can Invest In nothing Hint will brine
you Inrcr cash returns than tlio
EMPIRE
Oroant Separator
EMPIRE CREAM SEPARATOR COMPANY,
Bloomll.ld.M.J. Chloaoo, III.
-Lr 4A jtfcto fnmmon or xfftf
3si
A GOLD WAT0Hror$3.50
A Mtf.l Umiij. lllubMt iKlt J Ik j14 pint flnlih.
.....-! .1.. ...... ullAMMakiliiii. IMaaaial
IttDdim American ..? jwipm .... ..
Urn wtnil A Itl toil thiolutrl; fu.tiDIMd fof
ao at Jul -tJL. ju.
Cut thWniit ' It is ' Hb jour
ntin..iwil ofDcf n1 1 lprna D tditicit ttnl
. will rn'l lh Uh nl txiuilfulchiln I
7 WIUJ tipriM ror tuminiiion. 1 1 u irjiic...
il rT iiprtH sent WW nl bw din
it ml thr tr tomt. Mention ill wtnttil
ntlu.ItlUI!'r(a flatalMii .n.t Hit ftf
llllirtll.l . n. -...., - .. ...
r'tiulnt U'llmnnlili fr with tiirj ttch.
Bk&.a.SMfJf.?8nfelra;
TRYaWnTER DOCTOR
191 ii
And ot Woll, Btrontt mid Vigorous.
If you will Bond mo a namp'o or your
. Z I ..!.... T .-lit al I ... .-I.m. llu
moruuiKuruiuj. win tun iTOjumui--oasojrou
luwo, Itnnnunonnu If ournulo
or not.f roo of olinrno. Yon onn bo curod
at homo nt a vory umi.ll cost. I tront
both poxou. Bonil four conta for mall
InirciMin Mid hotllofor urlno. Address
iJ.r.stlArcK, m.u.,wnieruoor,
ai4Pcnn Ave, Pittsburg, Fa.
AGENTS
WANTED to tako
orders tor White
Uronzo Monuments
He ii (1h ton oh, etc.
Cheaper tlmn grim
Ito ami positively
bettor. Boll nnywhoro. Honorablo legitimate
business. Write nt once lor vory llbcrni terms.
(Uvo ago, occupation and roieronco, If you
need cemetery work ask for designs.
The Monumental Bronze Company,
Drawer A, Bridgeport, Conn.
NO GAS TO KILL
Vory Uttlo lamp gait In an Incubator crr chamber often
kills ovary norm. No cos can possibly creep Into the
SVRE HATCH INCUBATOR
. luipnn.n ll iinnffMl Inr ntir mifttlftM. 1iinvr
ooppor,hapvator circulator. Don't wneto
lnpr with poor Incubator?. Bend for freo
cntaloixuo.U 18 and-lcarn why tlio Brno
Hatch natcnos fliirr. wiro iiiitcii int'ii
buUr Co., Clay Center, Nob. audlndlaitapolla, I ml.
fi Wl
IPToiSmiiI
in ' iir?,
U y Ifir
Just Monoy Enough
I never cared to bo as rich as some
men that I know,
For riches ain't the greatest tolng in
this old world below;
An' hieh don't always feel the best be
cause they've lots of wealth,
For gold, though legal tender, won't
buy its possessor health.
But I'd 'just like to have enough of
money so when I
Was called theso winter mornin'a I'd
bn nhlo tn ronlv.
"Uh-huh! All right, I'm gettin' up;
in just a minute." Then
Roll over Irind-o' lazy-like, an' go to
sleep again.
I never cared to own a yacht or pal-
aco car so line;
An' automobiles are too strong I
don't want none in mine.
I don't want such a pile o' gold that
folks will envy me,
Nor mix in deals that won't let my
old conscience feel quite free.
But I'd just like to have enough laid
carofullv awav
So when I'm called at 6 a. m.. I'd feel
quite freo to say:
"Uh-huh! All right, I'm gettin' up;
in iust a minute." Then
Roll over kind-o' lazy-like, an' go to
sloop again.
To corner markets, water stocks, and
float a trust or two
May be the things the millionaires
think lots of fun to do;
But I don't want to have no fun that
causes others woe
Or by a robbin set of laws make my
own fortune grow.
I don't want millions that's too much
ray wants are not so great;
I only want enough so I at 6 a. m.
could state:
"Uh-huh! All vight, I'm gettin' up;
in just a minute." Then
Roll over kind-o' lazy-like an go to
sleep again.
colonel.
"Colonel Furlong, I hold the key to
tho situation. Wo all know your gal
lant record as a soldier "
Hero the colonel bowed.
"-As a soldier, and it is a record
to be proud of, sir. But you have
overlooked one thing, and I am here
to rectify your mistake. I represent,
sir, one of tho greatest institutions in
the land, sir. A few minutes explan
ation will suffice to prove to ycu that
we arc able to
"Well, what on earth are you driv
ing at?"
"Patience, colonel; patience. I rep
resent the Rushem & Shovem Institute
of Medicine. Wo guarantee to fit you
for a diploma inside of thirty days.
With this diploma and a little start
in the military arm of our country's
service, colonel, you wilt have do dil
iiculty in
With a glad cry the colonel fell
upon the neck of his visitor and wept
for joy.
"At last!" cried the colonel "The
last obstacle to my promotion is about
to be removed."
An hour later Colonel Furlong was
busily engaged in studying the doctor
books.
Dr. Stoop's Rheumatic Cure
Costs Nothing if it Falls
Any honest person who sudors from lthoumatlsm Ii
wclcomd to this oiTor. Tor years I searched every,
where to find a specific for Hhouraatlsm. For nearly
20 years I worked to this end. At last, In Germany,
my soarch was rewarded. I found a costly chemical
that did not disappoint mo s otbor l'houmatlc pre
scriptions had disappointed physlclnns everywhere.
I do not mean that Dr. hoop's l.houmatlc ( uro cau
turn bony joints Into flesh again. 'J hat Is Imposslt le.
l.ut tt will drlvo from tho blood tho poison that causes
pain and swolling, and then that Is tho end of lilieu
matlsra. I know this ho woll that I wilt furnish for a
full month my Rheumatic uro on trial. I cannot euro
all cases within a mouth. It would bo unreasonal lo
to expect that. But most cases will yield within 30
days. 'I his trial treatment will convince you that Dr.
- hoop's i hcumatlo i uro is n power ngalnst houma
tiim a potent forco against dlsoaso that Is Irresistible.
My offer Is inado to convince, you of my faith, 'ly
faith is 1 ut tho outcomo of oxporlence of actual
knowIcd.ro. I know what It can do. And I know this
so woll that I will furnish my romody on trial, simply
wrlto mo a jiostal for my book on l.houmatlBm. J will
then arrango with a druggist In your vicinity so that
you can secure Mx lottlea of T)r. Fhoop's Mieumatlo
t uro to mako tho test, you may taKO it a .inn montn
on trial. f It succeeds tho cost to you Is 75.50. Kit
falls tho loss Is mine and mine alono. It will bo left
entirely to you. I moan that oxactly. 1 don't expect a
penny from you.
Wrlto mo and. 1 will sond you tho book. Try my
remedy for a month. If It falls tho' loss Is thlno.
Address Dr. Shoop, Box 0515 Itacino, Wis.
Mild cases not chronlo aro often curod by ouo or
two bottles. At all druggists.
Cancer Cured
WITH SOOTHING, BALMY OILS.
Canoor, Tumor. Catarrh, Pilos, Fistula, Ulcers,
Eczomannd all Skin and Womb Diseases. Wrlto
lor IUustratod Book. Sont f roo. Address
DOYE, S&ffiW! Kansas City, Mo.
Dntnni Onniirntl OK FKK returned. FIIKK
rulC II OBuUl till ?l,m,on nB ,0 Pntentnbll
...... u'- Soml for Kuu.obook
and what to invent. Finest publications issuod for
free distribution. Patents secured by us advortliod
free In Patent llecord hAMPLK cow KiitiK.
Kvans, likens Co., Dept. v, U aiulngton, I), o.
GAIN ACRES
ly cl. rlgttuUtumpy rice
of UnJ. TUP. HtlillllLKS
((Slump Pulltr Pull anyttump
UuIckUile. lurcu!ei Mfg. Co., Dopt 10 Csntervllli, lova.
ing no escape we had to grin and
prepare to bear it.
"What's she been doing orjsaying
now?" we asked.
"That's just what makes her so re
markable," said Boreus. "She hasn't
said or done anything remarkable
since she was born."
kHB W fir -iiL1 j nAib
CCilfC I 3TBOMGE&T
VIMlMtLl &ADE. Bull
Tight. Sold to the 5Kr"Su8BSa
COILK6 BPKINQ FKNCB 8o.
B 231 WUtJBMUrIadUn, U. 8. A
DO YOTT SCRATCH?
Kmiim and All Mcln I)innnfln Cured.
$80 A MONTH SALARY tftS wx
to introduce our (guaranteed Poultry Bemedlei.
Year contract. Hank reference furnished. 0 it
l)lglerCo.,X3a7,SDrlngneul,lll. tu,8U1' "
A Groat Opportunity.
The battle-scarred warrior gazed
upon his battered sword, and the tears
stood in his eyes, ftis thoughts wan
dered back to the great day when his
superior officer called him out before
tho army and publicly thanked him
for having held a vital position with
a handful of bravo men against the
onslaught of an enemy that outnum
bered them ten to one. He opened
the box wherein reposed the medal
voted him by congress for gallant ser
vice, and then unrolled the parchment
upon which was inscribed the resolu
tion of thanks adopted by that same
congress.
"Thirty years of untiring service
for my country " he said his shrunken
cheeks flushing with pride. "Thirty
years wearing my country's uniform
fighting mv country's imttloa nn
holding my country's flag. And yet
I am only a colonel, while younger
men scarce acquainted with tho smell
of powder are wearing the uniforms
ui urigaaiers.
The veteran sank into his chair and
thought and thought and thought.
Suddenly ho was aroused from his
reverie by a knock at tho door.
"Come in," ho said.
In response to his summons a dap
per young man ontered.
fi,l'Is, lhls Colonel Furlon8' aslced
the visitor.
"It is, sir."
"Well, it ought to bo 'General' Fur
long, and I'm heio to tell you how It
may become 'General'.'
'State your business, sir," said tfie
Taking No Chances.
The senator-elect hesitated ere he
spoke.
"What I want torlcnow is this: Does
my salary begin coincident with the
expiration of my predecessor's term of
office?"
"It does, sir."
"And do my recommendations for
appointments have ejqual weight with
the gentlemen who fiave been serving
in tho senate for years?"
"They do, sir."
"And I am not responsible officially
until I take the oath of office?"
"The courts have so held, sir."
"Well, all I can say is that I wish
uuugress wouldn't meet for a couple
wj. jema. i ui'nK mat by that time I
could dispose of about all the post
offices really worth having in my nart
of the state."
It Somotlmos Happens.
"Good evening, Mr. Softleigh," said
Little Willie Staith to his sister's
caller "Susie will be down in a few
minutes."
'Thank you, Willie."
"And she told me not to bother you
nor ask you any questions, but" '
"But what, Willie?"
"O, nothing."
Right here is where you expect Wil
lie to make some fool break, but you
are going to be disappointed.
H11?.86'.4?61 for flfteeu minutes
while his sister was crimping her
Jffr "ja during the whole time he
m" SDoaCalC;lated t0 ass
DeSmooth "T -wont t !....,
tor supper last night wow1' 0yS"
DeSoak "And found that the oyster
wasn't in- your stow!"
Here is whore wo have a chance o
S.in his st- "utTe:
the?oup' Waan'fc a single yst in
Boreu!! in "" C0Untr claredVr!
We knew what .was coming, but see-
Dldn't Work.
"Look here, Kersoak; I thought you
said that whisky would drown my
sorrows."
"Well, didn't it?"
"Not much. I tried to drown mine,
but they floated to the surface."
Brtvln Leaks.
What the world calls failure is "often
tho greatest success.
A place to eat and sleep is not all
that is required to make a home.
If your life is empty it is probably
becauso you have put nothing into it.
"Just this once" is che sign over
the door to the ante-room of destruc
tion. The fellow who waits for somebody
to give him a start in life usually
finds when death approaches that he
can reach backwards and touch his
starting place.
The man called at the eleventh hour
received full pay, but the man
who is called at the first hour and
does not respond until the eleventh
hour is going to meet up with trouble.
Bright s Diseaseand
Diabetes Cured
University Chemist Acting as Judge
nJjf7110 ott'.,M D,v of Cincinnati, O., dem
onstratcd before tho editorial board of tho Even
ing IW.jwnt the lending dally-papers ; of?Jln-
uiuniiu, nio power of his
remedy to euro tho worst
forms ol kidney dlsenses.
Later a public test was in
stituted under tho nuspi
cles of the Pout, and five
cases of Urlght's Disease
and Diabetes were select
ed by them and placed
under Dr. Mott's care. In
thrco months' time all
were pronounced cured,
nent Universities in the United States ffi?taj
been chosen by the Post to n ako examinS on
ol the cases bcore and after treatment.
BuSt??5M?f0 rcml the ditolta of this
"to correspondence with people all over tS
berii'n8?1 nted1Europcan3 aro nurn,
StamWen'cTrcd?0 h,W tttkcn hl3treat
The doctor will correspond with those who
arc suffering :wlth Brlght's Disease Diabetes or
VytLdley.tr.0Ubl0' olther n the first Intermc
d ate or last stages, and will bo pleased to give
Sfe,?Pierto,pi.nlon ,reto those who will s.-nd
JMMtt11 thcIr yPtom3. An essay
Hi!:.i i th0 '1jJt0r has prepared about kidney
KSSRSt n S-?TriMn.? WW method ol -treat
SVSSh!?0 b0 mallca by hlm- Correspon-
Cincinnati; dhlov J' ' T B'
rt&
Y
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rt