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The Commoner.
10
VOLUME 3, NUMBER 49,
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PERSONAL.
To all my friends,
Both far and near,
Merry Christmas
And glad New Year.
Long life to you;
And peace, and joy.
And happiness
Without alloy.
May love attend
You on your way
This wish I send
This Christmas day.
W. M, M.
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Two Men.
ber," said the widow.
"Don't mention it, ma'am. I can't
help being helpful to the afflicted.
Let's see. The interest on this mort
gage and note is $4.50 a month, that's
$9; and making out the mortgage and
filing the' papers is $1.50. That makes
$10.50 in all. Here's $19.50, and I hope
you will find it a great help to you,
ma'am. I find great satisfaction in
being able to help you in your extrem
ity. I am sure I will be rewarded some
time, if not here."
"Thank, you Deacon Grabber. I
hope Santa Claus will visit your
house."
"He won't ma'am. I don't believe in
teaching children that there is a Santa
Claus. I think it is wicked to take
advantage of their confiding natures
and deceive them. I wouldn't bo guilty
of such a thing.' Good day, ma'am."
Fortunate.
Smith "Hello, Scratcherly! Making
any money in literature these days?"
Scratcherly "Yes, a little. I've
found a couple of magazines that will
return rejected manuscript without my
sending postage."
Christmas Thoughts.
Tom and Jerry are very poor Christ
mas companions.
The gift given for sbowis a gift
given for woe.
Christmas is not merely a time of
gift giving it is a time for love giv
ing. A headache tomorrow will be proof
that you are making a monkey of
yourself today.
If we could stock and bond the hap
py laughter of children today, what a
mountain of wealth we could possess.
Making others happy costs so little
Mr. Churchgoer met Mr. Christian.
It was bitter cold, and the north wind
swep across the country with an an
gry roar.
"Dreadful cold weather, Mr. Chris
tian," said Mr. Churchgoer.
"That's what," said Mr. Christian.
"Colder'n Greenland."
"I can't help thinkin' about the
poor these awful cold days," said Mr.
Churchgoer. "They must suffer some
thin' awful."
"Yes, it is sad to think of the suf
fering that must ensue as a result of
such weather."
"I can't help thinkin' about them.
I guess I'll have to go to prayer meet
ing tonight, even if it is cold, and
pray for the poor."
"That's all right, Mr. Churchgoer.
"But I'll not be there."
"Better come. It is wrong to forget
the poor."
And that night Mr. Churchgoer knelt
down in the warm and well lighted
church and prayed for those- who were
cold and hungry. And while he prayed
with words another man was praying
with deeds, for Mr. Christian's wagon
was rolling through, the poorer quar
ters of the city, distributing coal and
food and clothing.
'God help the poor," prayed Mr.
Churchgoer.
"God help me to help the poor," said
Mr. Christian, sending his wagon back
after another load.
"God care for the widow and the
orphan," prayed Mr. Churchgoer.
"God help me to do my duty to the
widow and the orphan," said Mr.
Christian, as he left a package of gro
ceries and a bundle of warm clothing
at the weary washwoman's door.
"God spread the mantle of thy char
ity over those who are in need,"
prayed Mr. Churchgoer.
"God help me to divide in love the
bounty Thou hast given me," said Mr.
Christian, signing another check to
pay a month's rent for the sick and
afflicted widow.
"All this I ask in the name of Thy
dear Son," concluded Mr. Churchgoer.
"In the name of God, Amen," said
Mr. Christian, as tired, but happy, he
knelt down by his bedside.
. And the recording angel set the
marks of approval after but one of
these names as the Christmas stars
twinkled in the sky.
Tha Hypocrite.
"Yes ma'am," said Deacon Grabber,
"I can let you have $30 for a couple of
months, and be glad to help you. Just
sign this mortgage and note, please.
That's right. Thank you. I'm always
g3ad to be able to help the widows
"You are very good, Deacon Grab-J
ft
"NOTHING DOING."
I had heard that Phil Knox had gathered some rocks
To hurl at the trust barons greedy;
That he soon would commence to fight in defense
Of millions of folk who were needy.
So I called upon Phil to see if he'd kill,
Determined the scene to be viewing;
But a sign big and bold this legend did hold :
NOTHING DOING."
I then took a sight of the big mansion white
Where strenuous words we've been hearing;
And I thought in my glee, now surely I'll see
Some things that my heart will be cheering.
But alas! I declare as I wandered up there
My long, weary search still pursuing,
I saw over the door a sign as before:
NOTHING DOING."
I wandered again to see Henry B. Payne
At work at a postal house cleaning,
And thought as I strode down the long, dusty road,
" Now here's where no graft he is screening."
But it grieves me to say that my journey that day
Since then I've been bitterly rueing,
For I saw a big sign in size 6x9:
"NOTHING DOING."
With a heart filled with woe then I turned me to go
Where Leslie M. Shaw was financing,
And I said, surely Les will relieve my distress
By Wall street's huge bag of wind lancing. ' '
So I called on friend Shaw don't imagine I saw
Him over our sorry plight stewing
For to my huge surprise this greeted my eyes:
"NOTHING DOING."
One place still remained so my muscles I strained
To get to where congress was working. ;
And I felt doubly sure that was where I'd secure
Relief from each enemy lurking.-
" They'll save me! " I cried ; "They will stand by my
side! "
But alas! (Please excuse my boo-kooing.)
A great sign on display in big letters did say:
"NOTHING DOING."
that tho wonder In nn. ..
train from doing something in tfil
UJS Pl7 mean man who re.
grets ; the money he spends to ma
his little ones happy.
fJHO"1?0? reCeive a gi" th the
fee ing that you are in duty bound to
make one in return, there is a lack nf
the proper feeling between the eiveJ
and the recipient.
Her Christmas.
"Dear John," she said, "I do not want
Expensive presents, truly.
We must economize and not
Spend your small wage unduly.
For soon, you know, we will be wed
And will need carpets, dishes,
And other things," she softly said;
"Now please observe my wishes."
But wben she woke on Christmas
morn
And found nought in her stocking,
The language that she used to John
Was something really shocking.
"You love me not!" the maiden cried,
Her eyes made red by weeping.
"Not so," her lover, John, replied;
"I'm saving for housekeeping."
Alas, poor John knows better now,
For he at once did go forth
And spend five hundred plunks or so
For diamond rings, etc.
Wise Johnny.
"Hello, Johnny! What do you ex
pect to get Christmas?"
"Lots of things and the stummick
ache."
Limerick.
There was a young man in Woon-
socket
Who had not a cent in his pocket.
But he didn't feel sad,
For a habit he had
When buying to simply say, "Chalk
it"
Brain Leaks.
Calico paid for feels better than silk'
owed. for.
A starving man. can get but little
good out of a tract.
The prudent man buildeth a storm
door for his temper.
Sonie men's ideas of pleasure is to
go out and kill something.
A rose to the living is better than
a floral emblem to the dead.
What men are apt to term success
often proves an eternal failure.
The wise smoker will not look the
Christmas cigar box on the label.
Strive Ever is always handicapped
by having-to help Wait Forever.
If we had a boy who slept late on
Christmas morning we would send for
the doctor.
Perhaps the voting public tvM
wake up when "graft" begins to pinch
the individual pocketbook.
We feel awfully sorry for a man
whose highest idea of a "good time is
to nil up and walk crooked.
Some Christians approach the mercy
seat with the air of a court officer
serving a writ of mandamus.
Ever go down tho street of a city
and wonder why the public school
buildings do not bear signs, "Boys
Wanted?"
The man who waits for something
to turn up Is as foolish as the man
who thinks a dictionary should nae
an index.
We know some girls whose best
Christmas gifts to their mothers ouia
be to roll up their dainty sleeves ana
agitate the dishwater about twen j
one times a week for a few montns.
while the mothers sit in the rocu
chairs and rest.
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