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10
The Commoner,
VOLUME 3, NUMBER
Wc i vVAX r" II .r 2""w. A B'
kmmoRMot
Hy Wealth.
Mr. Morgan has his millions
I haven't got a conk
He has mansions built of marble
I toil to pay my rent
But I'vo more than Mr. Morgan
When the day of toil is o'er,
For I know true love is waiting
Just insido my cottage door.
I then hear what nevor greets him
Underneath his marble dome;
'Tis a baby's happy greeting:
"Hollo, pop! Has 'oo t'um home?"
Rockefeller has full coffevs
But mine are empty quite.
He has private yachts and such things,
All mine are "out of sight."
But I've more than Rockefeller's
Wondrous wealth of gold commands;
I have dainty, wee caresses
From a .baby's loving hands.
'And when'ov'ning stars are peeping
Ovorhoad in heaven's dome
I can hoar a childish- welcome: ,
"Hollo, pop! Has 'oo t'um home?"
Lot them have tholr untold millions.
I envy not their store.
They are worth collossal fortunes
I am worth a whole lot more.
For I have a grander treasure
Than their hoarded wealth can buy;
'Tis the love light I see glisten
In my little darling's eye.
They can ride in private coaches ,,
And can plow the ocean's foam
But they never hear the welcome:
i'Hollo, pop! Has 'oo t'um home?"
contly, remarking as ho did so, "Just
try that cigar, judge." "
Judge Sullivan lighted the cigar,
took two or three puffs, then said:
"Quilty!"
Judicial Humor.
The Result.
The financier had just completed the
task of detailing his scheme to the
homey-handed taxpayer.
"That's all right; but where do we
come in?" queried the taxpayer.
"O, you don't come in you merely
shell out," replied the financier in a
burst of confidence.
Judge Sullivan, supreme judge of
Nebraska, who is a candidal for re
election on the democratic and pop
ulist tickets, is a wit, and his opinions
as handed down are often illuminated
by flashes of humor that assist mater
ially in making plain and forceful the
decision of the court
Nebraska has upen 1 .e statute book
a law known as the "corrupt practice
act," which compels all candidates to
file a statement of expenses incurred
in securing their nomination and af
ter election a statement detailing ev
ery campaign expense. Being a law-
abiding citizen, Judge Sullivan filed
his expense accrunt a few aays after
the Grand Island and Columbus con
ventions had nominated him. The
. statement is characteristic of the
judge:
"I authorized the local committee at
Columbus to call on me for $25 to
help defray the expenses of the con
vention. Thus far the committee has
not called, but I am apprehensive."
While on the district bench Judge
Sullivan presided at a? trial in Fre
mont wherein a farmer sued the city
for damages, claiming that the city's
sewage contaminated a creek running
through his farm. The plaintiff's at
torney had several bottles filled with
water from the creek, his intent being
to show by them that the water was
contaminated all the way through the
farm, one bottle containing what was
said to bo good water taken from the
creek several miles further on. Un
fortunately for Vie plaintiff his law
yer got the bottles mixed,
'"I've often heard of men getting
into trouble by mixing their liquor,"
dryly remarked Judge Sullivan, "but
so far as I can recall this is the first
instanco within my knowledge where
a man got into trouble by mixing
vator."
A friend noted for smnlHnp' nnm
Good Reason.
"What's the matter, old man? You
look 'awfully down in the mouth."
"I've got good reason for being blue.
I'm afraid my mind is failing."
"What makes you think that?"
'"I find that I am actually -enjoying
the 'high-class literature' the maga
zines are printing."
To fir. Bser.
A nightmare now doth haunt my
'' seep--
Anthracite!
Dread visions through my mind do
creep
Anthracite.
All.Jiappy thoughts its terrors check,
Upon my trail its horrors trek,
It- swats me ever on the neck
Ant.racite.
My empty coal bin yawns for moro
Anthracite. a
Of you no sign upon the floor,
Anthracite.
The air is full of nipping frost,
My .summer's wages all are lost,
And you -you've doubled up in cost,
Anthracite.
I drop into a troubled sleep,
- Anthracite.
Then up and up and your p.rice doth
leap,
Anthracite. '
I sadly walk across the floor
While Jack Frost knocks upon my
"r door,
And,lo, your price goes up some moro,
Anthracite.
You've got us on ,the hip for fair,
Anthracite. .
You and your pardnert Mr. Baer,
Anthracite.
But now just listen, if you please,
If you don't let up on your squeeze
You'll some day go where it don't.
freeze, ,
Both oJC. you.
la Comparleaa.
"They tell me that the oath printers
take upon joining tnoir union is sim
ply terrible In' its construction," said
Miss Prudehomme.
"I don't know anything about It"
replied Jack Potts, "but if it is any
worse than the one I heard at the
Blizzard office today when the fore
man pled a slug-head it must be some
thing awful."
BraJa Leak.
Good health ia largely a matter "of
good nature
Laughter is the medicine' that keeps
the doctor poor.
Envy is the drouth that dries up the
spring of happiness.' '" '"
A guilty conscience is usually hunt
ing for a good excuse. . -
The man who is right never has to
resort to a game of bluff.
A crust in time is worth a dozen
libraries in the dim future.
A gentleman never swears in the
presence of ladies or anybody else.
If you listen to gossip it is because
you want to, notbecause you have to.
Job never had to wait for a late
train when he was in a hurry to get
there.
We'd give all ive have to know as
much as the average boy of seventeen
thinks he knows.
Thn man Tirlin efrlvisa fny "hrrh Irion In
may not reach them, but even in fail
ure he lands a winner. v
If Wendell Phillips were alive today
he would add the making of corn
meal to his list of "lost arts."
We'd hate to hear the responsibility
of the women who waste their time
and money in running cat hospitals.
The youth, in the village longs to be
a rich man in the city; the rich man in
the city longs to- be a youth in the
village.
Some young men spend so much
time creasing their trousers that they
never have time to take the crimps
out of- their minds.
A boy's chief delight is having a
grandmother close at hand who has. a
mania for putting up preserves and
making all kinds of pickles.
Just about the time we are coming
to the conclusion that the world is
growing wiser along comes a wedding
party that thinks it is doing some
thing extremely funny when it throws
a lot of rice.
Taa data
"Now, look here, Busterfelt," said
the friend, "how on earth do you ex
pect to keep all these promises to the
people after you are elected tt office?"
"What a tyro in politics you must
De," replied Busterfelt "After you've
oeen mixing m it
a wnllo you will
learn that the people expect a lot of
nrOTTllRRR fl.Tlfl rlfkn'fr anam r rritm n io
cigars gave Judge Sullivan a weed re-for performances."
Mr, Shaw Has Another Idea,
A statement tothe effect that Sec
retary of the Treasury Shaw had un
der consideration a plan l)y which he
hopes to avoid the limitation of $3,
000,000 per month on the retirement of
national bank circulation refers to an
idea that the secretary has been work
ing out In his mind for some time,
but has not yet discussed publicly.
Strictly speaking, the national bank
act does not put any limitation on the
retirement of circulation. The lim
itation is put on the amount of law
ful money that can be deposited for
any calendar month for the retirement
of notes. Notes can be retired, how
over, without the deposit of lawful
money. Any bank having its own
notes in Its possession can send thorn
I'liito Washington, have them cancelled
ana destroyed and receive the bonds
deposited with tne treasurer as secur
ity. In practice, however, this meth
od of retirement is practically never
resorted to, for the reason that the
notes of any individual bank are so
widely scattered as to make it im
practicable to collect them in suffic
ient quantities to send them in for re
tirement In the absenqe of any au
thoritative statement from the secre
tary as to the details of his plan, it is
understood here, he believes, that by
.co-operation with other banks it may
bo practicable for a bank wishing to
retire circulation to do so without
depositing lawful money. Thus, the
banks In the clearing house associa
tion could enter into an agreement
that when one of their number wished
& WHETHER 'J
& COMMON
& OR NOT 3
& A book containing selections
& from matter appearing in the
& "Whether Common or Not" de-
partment during tho past two
and a half years, togetner with s
& some -that have appeared in &
& other papers. The book will fc
& contain upwards of 250 pages, &
$ will be printed on good paper $
& and substantially bound in cloth, jt
& It will sell for $1, and be ready
3? for distribution about December $
& 1, 1903. It is now in press, if $
& you think of buying, please noti- $
& fy tho undersigned. He will &
& notify you when the book is $
& ready for delivery. If he knows $
& in advance how many want to $,
& buy he will not be left with a $
& lot of unsold copies on his hands. k4
& The book will make a handsome $
& and acceptable Christmas pres- $
& ent for wife, husband, brother, fc4
& sister, sweetheart or friend. The &
& book will contain an introdtic-
& tory by Mr. W. J. Bryan. Ad- &
& dress communications to Will jc
& M. Maupin, 2suz2 So. 17th street, &
& Lincoln, Neb. $
J
to collect its notes to be sent in for
retirement the other banks would un
dertake to segregate all of the notes
of that bank that might come into
their possession and turn them over
to it The notes thus collected could
be sent in and retired, although law
ful money had already been deposited
for redemption during tho month up
to the limit of $3,000,000. American
Banker.
The British. Mint.
An interesting building has been
erected on Great Tower hill by tho
mint authorities as a museum, for
specimens of British coins of every
age and description. According to
high authority the silver penuy of
King Alfred is the earliest authentic
Saxon coin that can be traced with
certainty to the London mint. Athel
stan, about 928, was the first British
king to enact regulations for the gov
ernment of the mint, but the coinage
was debased by the minters during
the several reigns following. To such
an extent was this fraud carried out
that in tho reign of Henry I. dealers
in the markets refused to accept cur
rent money, and when the king sum
moned the minters to appear at Win
chester only three men out of ninety
four escaped mutilation and banish
ment Henry I. is said to Lave insti
tuted a mint at Winchester in 1125,
but the English do not seem to havo
been proficient in the art of coining,
for Stow relates that in the reign of
Edward I. the mint was kept by Ital
ians. In Henry III.'s time English
money greatly improved in appear
ance, and in his reign took place the
first gold coinage in this country. In
the following reigns money was again
debased, and it became so bad that
Queen . Elizabeth called in all cor
rupted coins and new ones were is
sued, for tho first time having the
edges milled. In the reign o Charles
II coper and tin coins were Issued, but
the latter was finally recalled in 16J
Prom the time of the Conquest down to
1811 the chief mint was in tho Tower.
In that year the present building was
erected. London Qhronlcle.
. .. . . . nOTrv numfnv
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Mrs WnwLOir oothino stout for cWU"
toetblnK should alwars be used for children w
teothlasr. i ftofteos tho jcuma, HW PHurrhi
wind collo and Js tfae best romodr for ai-Twcutr-Are
cento botU. It li the beit
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