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The Commoner:
JTJI.Y 31. 103.
15
vpJtimf -ggy-nn fWyav j fag -
ilon of your progress, but of your aim.
It is a question of whether you aro
going towards the right or towards
the wrong.
There is a story which a witty man
In New York once told that ill
that idea. His story takes us back to
thd time when Darwinism was being
gHeconaed a great deal, becauso it was
sqppoeed tkat Darwinism meant that
fpji comes from the monkey. A
?-f ICagllsk student who believed
this want to a German university.
There he found a professor who be
lieved it, too. But the professor hod
fnrthtr theory. He believed that
man's evolution from the monkey had
been caused by the revolutions of the
arth upon its axis. He thought ho
could prove this if he could only dis
cover how to reduce a man to a very
email size and then bring him "back
again. "For." said he, "if ono could
reduco a man to a mere microscopic
speck, and place him on a miniature
arth of the right proportions, and. re
volve that earth again and again,' and
then bring the man back to his normal
size, I believe ho would be as far in
advance of the man of today as the
man of today is In advance of the
monkey, and for the same reason.
It's thoao diurnal revolutions tha't do
it' That la what the professor told
the boy. Oae day when the boy called
on the proreoeor, the professor ex
claimed with delight: T liave it; I
know how to do it; I can reduce a man
to a speck and bring him back again;
and I want you to help me try the
experiment" Now. this frightened
Patent Seci8d?&!K w&ss
4,MiLW,ttUity. Send for gukiobook
ndwht torrent, Maes jxabUcotioaa iameA ft
f reo (UrtrltmUus. Pate&ta seeanyt "toy us s4racttee4
Ik In 1 airst Leeeitf. &LUPUS (X PT TREK.
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8 C&ra Eeaso Lit, Xsmr, Colo.
tWStealtrjV..,.
RCHESTRA
P? Xartroavate.YlelbM.Baajoa,
UUHAKJ,MANUOLtXI
Mda brlowi & &svg &a i
9uwtuQ"WftiiJiftars.' juuermy
iwpiHM aBasr uruflo, ana
!.&? tkasu tn 1 1 m tost
2& tepuswaft
fMrtl
TsSssabBEl&m&SBi
: rzarsLr; ts?-tJJir . qi "a m
I nwuwso iwtt unum.
. ' -. CMeef,
niMWMIHl
iH
UNION PACIFIC
$45.00
ROUND TRIP
it b" aw
Seattle
Tacoma
San
Frai-
. Cisco
pjSfof5?v Angles
imo&9fiL8a8,doA,,ir ,s Hth.lnohu
alye, GOOD SIXTY BAYS EETOfiklNd.
5JxUabars quicker tfcaaawy etkar
Ua ta tte Pacific Goasr
For full information can on otwrita
E. B. SLOSSON,
Qtn'I Agent, LCbcoIh, Neb.
tno boy; for he thought the professor
wanted to try the experiment on him.
liut tho professor rctuwured him. lie
explained that ho didn't want to try
tho experiment uponj tho boy, but
wanted the boy to try It on the pro
fessor. So tho boy volunteered. Ho
didn't thin that experiment would bo
as dan&crouo as the other. When the
profeaBor had explained the processes
of tho experiment tho boy went to
work at it Sure enough, tho professor
began to shrink; and ho shrank and
shrank until ho was a mere speck un
der tho microscope. Then tho boy
hunted up tho place on the miniaturo
earth which tho profesBor had pro
parod, the place somewhere in Asia
where man was supposed to hm
sprung from the monkoy, and ho put
tho professor thero with great care.
Now he took hold of tho crank and
turned tho miniaturo earth around
and around, again aud again, until
his back ached and ho wished himself
well out of the job. But ho had prom
ised to kpep faith with the professor,
and so ho turnod and turned un
til the miniaturo earth had made tho
requisite number of revolutions. Af
ter that the boy .hunted for the pro
fessor with his microscope, and when
he had found him he gently lifted him
to the table. Of courso tho professor
was so small that the boy couldn't tell
what he looked like; but ho knew that
ne nad the professor, and so he re
versed tho shrinking process, and tho
professor began to expand. The ex
periment was working all right. But
when tho professor was big enough to
bo recognized, tho boy was horrified.
For the professor hadn't gone forward
at all. He had gone backward. He
had become a monkoy. You see the
boy had turned the earth the wrdng
way. (Laughter.)
Thero is a lesson in that story, my
friends, for the common people. The
inspiration of tho common peoplo can
be trusted. They sometimes make
mistakes, and they cannot think of
too many things at once. They aro
often shoved back and they often fall
back. But if thoy only keep their
faces in tho right direction, human
progress is assured. Try to turn V
earth the right way; don't try to turn
it tho wrong way because that may
happen to seem easier, Keep on in
the right direction, with your face to
ward tho right and the light, and
whether you reach your goal or not,
you will bo better men and your coun
try will be a better country. (Great
applause.)
On a Barren Shore.
In bygone times it was the practice
of the Newfoundland coast folk to
appropriate everything they secured,
but this lawlessness had to be sternlv
repressed. Now the unwritten rule is
that they get "half their hand," or
BO per cent as salvage. In portable.
ana vamaoie articles such as silver
ware, there is still a strong tempta
tion to keep the whole, but the pun
ishment is severe. Champagne, liq
uors, cabin stores and the live have
also a trick of disappearing, and in
the poorest fisher's cottatre von will
come upon rare china, dainty napery,
silverware of price, and wines that
tempt an epicure. The salvers are
reckless and unthinking, and as they
gather in hundreds every man pre
empts what he can. In the rush there
is muoh destroyed. When the Hurder
was lost, in 1882, they burned whale
bone worth 115,000 a ton to save lea
ther worth 20 cents a pound. In the
Hmmeline wreck of 1900 they trampled
orates of qostly glassware to get at
four cases of JFrench prayerbooka val
ued at 26 cents apiece. On one occa
sion two sailors had got asaore a
l-iano, and were adopting the Salomon
like expedient of sawing it in half
whan a shrewder -chum bought it from
them for a bottle of whisky putfoined
from the captain's cabin. When the
Graibrook wont ashore in 1890 every
man on the shore provided himself
with a Gorman concertina, of which
instruments of torturo she had a largo
consignment, and to secure them pack
ages of much raoro costly freight wore
thrown overboard. When the Orion,
from Baltimore for Copenhagen,
struck tho back of Cape Rnco, and
went to pieces, sho had a large con
signment of bicycles on board, and
they wcro auctioned in St Johns and
disposed of all over tho Island. Tho
Aboymore's lading, in 1898, Included
somo cases of splendid English rifles,
for Canada, and these are now to be
scon adorning overy fisher's cottage
along tho shore McCluro's Magaelno.
A Paradise for Wives.
The Louisiana supreme court has
ofllrmed the constitutionality of an act
passed by tho legislature at its last
session which provides for tho pun
ishment with imprisonment at hard
labor of men who desert their wives
and children. A number of arrests
wero made shortly after tho law went
into eifect, but punishment of tho cul
prits was suspended, as tho act was
supposed to bo unconstitutional. The
supreme court's decision now settles
tho matter, and in future tho Louis
iana man who gets married must ex
pect to bear tho consequences.
It is to be hoped that tho law will
not havo a tendency to discourage ma
trimony, and there is. no likelihood
that it will. If it does, tho ones who
permit themselves to bo frightened
away from marriage by "It will be bet
ter single anyway. -Louisiana haa
made a good start in this matter and
should now provide for tho imprison
ment at hard labor of wife beaters.
That done, the state will have a clear
lead in at least ono important respect
Chicago Record-Herald.
BEST FOR THE
BOWELS '
K7mliTra'trCBlrt)eHkriMTMiiratorfhft,
irUeroT7rfr.ye'rinorwmfc. Kcopyoar
kwel e-eaa. and b well. Tort. la tfc aha oj
vtolant jakyalc er U1 4, (a iaeffaroaft. Thi
aMtXt, e&tleat, aunt prfet way ot Uai
wwww crw.asw vim wu Cffmn V W IM
CANDY
CATHARTIO
Tho Retort Discourteous.
In a suit relating to brewery prop
erty, roported In "Case and Comment,"
an eminent and very dignified counsel
lor was ono day reading to the court
some manuscript ailldavits which were
not over legible, and by mistaKc read
tho word "mash" as "wash." Counsel
on the other side, who was small of
stature and polite in manner, but keen
in intellect and frequently sarcastic,
was Immediately on his feet, and with
a somewhat irritating deference of
manner, begging his opponent's par
don, etc., asked liberty to suggest
that the word which the eminent coun
sellor read "wash" was really "mash."
Somewhat nettled, tho counsellor thus
corrected thanked him for the infor
mation, and added that he wag not
himself very familiar with terms used
in, tho brewery business, as he had
never spent much of his time in a
place of that kind. "Are we to under
stand, then," said his opponent In his
suavest manner, "that tho eminent
counsellor wishes us to infer that his
early days were spent in a laundry?"
New York Tribune.
BtTlfc T .fc w BtfPr
EAT 'EM LIKE CANDY
Maean, Palatabla. Potat. Taato Q,
Vood, Merer Bloken. Weaken or Ortpoj 10, X aa4
W conta porbox. Wr!toorfraniplfl,indlool
latOHkcalth. Addroia Mi
StarHnf KtfMrfr Cm, CMe r Haw Ywlu,
KEEP YOUR BLOOD CLEW
AWMrr,r,MiC
P. cut 2XW feet pu
alar Ad ilara rtiw
Bnhlnuln MllUioi
Edjrera nitli tmM
Varl ablo JTlrt'os
rflod-l'orlabio.
OMndlng Hi I la,
Ftfl 411 wt
ihloacii mill urn. oaj
m ti. xthu, tu.
m in rt ac jr. Twt;
. liwUniYercltjBfNolroDaiaB'l
) full tma.m I. !.. ...a .
Wanted9 Agents
For the authorized Lifo and Life Work of
POPE LEO XIII"'
br rather Jamca jr.jWcflovcrs, D. D,, ajjrorfid if
and JMuediiBder tbo official unetlos ot Atckbitbop
llliutrated with orcr m magnificent colored and bait
tono pictures. Oyer 600 largo quarto paces. Prlca
ySlL&fk W" .Irj01' lTunt anl lam
priced iiro or Iao publjihed. lrt aarnt aold 18
books In tm lionra . IH-rt nns, corninliuton or
JfAii7,-,0w00.c2 ,aoo Kr d3r pront- bracrtnm
outnt nulck todar. Ofllclal catholic PnblUWar
llonao, &5 Wabaih Aw., t blcago, in. ""
HEREFORDS
Midland Drccdlng Tarm TTcrcfotils ftirart.
Twenty pure bred Hereford Bulls lb to 2i
months old. Ilcst of 'breeding and quality.
Prices very reasonable
L. L. YOUNG,
Oakland, Neb.
Fifty mllcfl north of Omaha and sixty miles
south of Bloux City, on the C, SL P., M. &
O.U.R.
iwiiiaiMiBiwaBaiiiHiHUiiiiBi .n tit
Three For One.
Prairie Farmer Combination.
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THE COMMONER, Lincoln, Neft. f
!?l
4
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