V
The Commoner.
10
VOLUME 3, NUMBER 22.
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The Evening Prayer.
"Now I lay mo down to sleep"
Adown the purple-tinted west,
Through distant vistac cool and deep,
The sun at last has gone to rest
And robed In white dear Curly Head
With trusting heart that knows no
caro,
Kneels down ere she climbs into bed
And sweetly lisps her evening
prayer.
"I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to keep"
And angols hover near the place
To watch the smiling dimples creep
Across the dear one's happy face.
Their wings are noiseless In their beat
That they may catch each lisping
tone
To bear them upward and repeat
In chorus 'round the golden throne.
"If I should die before I wake"
Dear God, not that! Our little one,
Ofapare her yet else our hearts break,
Though still we say, Thy will bo
done.
She trusts in Thee, and lisping prays
That He who notes the sparrow's
fall
Will guard her all her earthly days
And heed her ev'ry trusting call.
"I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to take"
Givo mo a faith like that, I pray.
She knows her sleeping eyes will wake
To greet again returning day.
It may bo that its golden rayB
Will light the shores of Over There,
But with deep faith she kneels and
prays
And gives her soul to God's good
caro.
"And this I ask for Jesus' sake"
That when life's care and toil are
o'er
My weary eyes at last shall wake
Upon that furthor golden shore.
That I shall see what Curly Head
With eyes of fait . can plainly see
Each night when she, robed for her
bed,
Kneels down to pray at mamma's
knee.
a transaction between himself and tho
client of Colonel Ingersoll.
When the time came to argue the
case Judge Clark arose and began an
impassioned plea to the jury. He re
viewed tho evidenco brought out by
his witnesses and scathingly de
nounced the other side. Working
himself up to a fine frenzy the judge
arose to his tiptoes, raised his hands
above his head and shouted:
"This is tho evidence in the case,,
gentlemen of the jury, and if it is not
fraud that has been practiced upon
my client then f-r-o-d does not spell
fraud."
As Judge Clark sat down Colonel
Ingersoll arose and in pleasant voice
said:
"Gentlemen of the jury, I cheerful
ly admit that Judge Clark has the bet
ter of me in orthography, but I leave
it to you to decide whether or not
he has tho better of me in this case."
That was all, and before the court
and spectators had ceased smiling at
Judge Clark's unique spelling the jury
returned a verdict for Colonel Inger
soll's client
But the Stick.
"Will you kindly elevate your hands'
and permit mo to relieve you of your
valuables?"
So soft and dulcet were tho tones
of tho highwayman that we were de
ceived, therefore wo hesitated.
Alas!
In addition to being relieved of our
purse and timepiece we are now nurs
ing a sadly bruised head.
Hereafter we will remember the big
Uick.
Making Sure.
Picking up the speaking tube the
managing editor called down to his
chief assistant:
"Has the president of the First Ra
tional bank read proof on the editorial
page?"
"Yes, sir."
"Has the general manager of tho
Street Railway company made" his
corrections?" '
"Yes, sir."
"Has the president of the Consoli
dated Steel company put on his 0.
IC?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you made the corrections or
dered by the first vice president of the
X., Y. & Z. railroad?"
"Yes, sir."
"Are you sure that the Eastern Con
federated Telegraph and Telephone
company is satisfied with the editorial
on public ownership?"
"Yes, sir."
"All right. Run a red line across
the top of the first page saying that
The Bugle is the people's paper, and
start the press."
tho graduating class of the local high
school. After tho address the lecturer,
accompanied by several friends, re
paired to tho local hotel to wait for
their train. The hotel was conducted
by a woman and she, with several
other women, joined the crowd in the
hotel parlors and listened to the an
necdotes told by the lecturer and
his companions.
The subject finally turned upon the
old claim that women are deficient in
tne sense of humor and therefore un
able to quickly grasp the point of a
joke. The lecturer disputed the claim
and said that it was founded on the
fact that centuries ago some .one
started it as a joke and that it had
since been going the rounds. How
ever, he was reminded of a story often
told to show that women were slow
to se9 the point of a joke and told it.
"Once a party of tourists were sail
ing on the Mediterranean sea and as
they approached the historic city of
Athens a woman in tne party, point
ing to the land asked of a gentleman
standing near:
" 'What is that dazzling white yon
der in the distance?'
" 'That is snow in the mountains,'
replied the gentleman.
"'Well, that's what I thought it
was,' said the woman, 'but somebody
told mo it was Greece.' "
Tho gentlemen in the parlor
laughed, but the good landlady only
looked surprised. Finally she mus
tered up courage enough to ask:
"Yes, but how did the grease come
to be on the mountains?"
Now only the natural gallantry of
the lecturer will impel him to longer
deny that women are slow to catch
the point of a joke.
end of tho wire. "Can you furnish'
me a bass singer for tomorrow
night?"
"A bass singer? Why, yes, I reck
on so," answered the farmer, laugh
ing. "What do you want one for?"
"Because the one we've had up to
now is sick. What would be your
terms?"
"Well, I usually furnish 'em by tho
dozen. I won't charge you anything
for one. How do you want him
sent?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Who do you think you're talkiu
to?"
"Isn't this tho Chicago opera
house?"
"No. This is the Barataria frog
farm." Youth's Companion.
A Pertinent Question.
Tho Pennsylvania Railway com
pany, in an effort to drive the West
ern Union Telegraph company from
its right-of-way, recently destroyed
property; valued at $1,000,000 belong
ing to the latter. Is it because a cor
poration did this that it has not been
exploited as a lamentable example of
the spread of the anarchistic spirit in
this country? Houston, Post.
, Seasonable Verse.
Now comes the man who huildeth
rhyme,
Sans collar, coat and vest,
To toil and sweat through summer
time
Without a moment's rest.
With visage flushed by torrid heat
He sayB, "O, pshaw!" or worse
He's toiling that he may complete
His batch of Christmas verse.
In January's ice and snow
He shivered day and night
As o'er the page his pen did go
And write, and write, and write.
x-j looked and saw adown the street
The snow go swirling by.
But he had verses to complete
For Fourth Day of July.
AGENTS WANTED.
Either Sox. No canvassIAg. No soliciting. No time
from your regular occupation. No ono will know yoa
(ire my representative no capital, outucor exponcne
needed. Easy .permanent, honorable and profitable work
that can bo dono at homo. Adtiresa
J. W. KID1), Key 7098 Vi. Wayao, 14
THE FAVORITE
Looking Forward.
"Gee!" exclaimed the germ, nestling
?p to its mate and waiting until Noah
nad gono forward. "Just think what
will happen when the old man dis
covers us."
Little did tho lowly germs reck that
Noah would never receive any college
degrees for getting on to their existence.
Old Saws Reset.
A bird in tho bush is worth a whole
flock on tho hat.
A new broom has gathered no dust.
People who live in glass houses
should pull down tho blinds.
Fine feathers do not make healthy
bedding.
Procrastination is not a habit with
the tax collector.
The early worm feeds the birds.
A fool and his money keep the bar
tender busy.
Do not count your garden until the
chickens are fried.
Thero are bettar fish in the sea than
ever were caught, because the big
ones always get away.
A stitch in the Bide is good for the
doctor's purse.
Pardonable Error.
Disguised as an administration spell
binder the representative of the
Standard Grease company arose to
address thevgathered throng.
"Hands up!" he shrieked.
" Pardon me, my fellow citizens,"
he hurried on to say, "I have merely
made a slight mistake in my dates. I
should have said 'hands off!' "
LUDWIQ I
M fiiffi j.rrni... ' 1..1. nmn jj
3 PIANO. I "
Awarded
Medals:
Paris 1900.
Buffalo 1901.
London 1902.
QUALITY HIGH
PRICES LOW
Musicians agroo
that for
Resonant Tone,
Agreeable Touch,
Quick Action,
Beautiful
Case Design,
The Ludwig
is their Favorite
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Write for a New
Catalogue.
Proof
"Is Bannah prominent in your com
munity?" "Prominent! "Well I should say he
is. Why, when his daughter was mar
ried the county papers wrote it up for
purty nigh a column."
Orthographical,
Years and years ago, when Meta
tnora was tho county seat of Woodford
county, Illinois, one of tho prominent
lawyers of the Metamora bar was
Judge Clark. Ho was learned in the
law, but his general knowledge was
somewhat limited. It came to pass
that Judge Clark and the late Colonel
ingersoll one day found themselves
on opposite sides of a case wherein Not lone airo n. woll-lmown iPftnror
Judge Clark's client alleged fraud-in 1 vJplted a Missouri towh and addressed
t, Explained.
"A few years ago Gotrox was a
poor man. Now ho is rated as a mil
lionaire. Do you believe he made his
money honestly?"
"I know ho did."
"Well, how aid ho do it?"
"He started a laundr in Pittsburg."
Positive Proof.
What Job Jllssed?
"Yes, I know Job has tho reputation
of being the most patient man," said
Mr. Perry Eako, "but I'll bet he never
tried to color a meerschaum pipe."
Singers and Crakers.
The extent to which the agricultural
portions of tho middle west are now
supplied with modern conveniences
may be inferred from the story which
follows: Thero camo a ring at tho
telephone in a farm house in north
ern Illinois one day last summer, and
the farmer himself responded.
"Hello!" he said.
"Hello!" said tho voice at the other
LUDWIG & CO.
Southern Boulovard, Now York.
FISHING AND HUNTING
Colorado possesses some of tho finest
fishing and hunting grounds on earth,
the dense forests being tho natural
covert for elk, deer, and other game.
Its myriads of streams teem with
mountain trout; its lakea, while also
full of attractions for the nngler, arc
also tho haunt of millions of geeso.
ducks, and other wild fowls.
Splendid Train Service to Colorado
VIA
UNION PACIFIC
Accommodations provided for all classes
of passengers.
Vary Low Hates During: the Summer
dressing0""11"011 may bc obtained by ad"
I Gen. Agent, Lincoln, Neb.
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