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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (June 19, 1903)
V The Commoner. 10 VOLUME 3, NUMBER 22. ? u i i i .... The Evening Prayer. "Now I lay mo down to sleep" Adown the purple-tinted west, Through distant vistac cool and deep, The sun at last has gone to rest And robed In white dear Curly Head With trusting heart that knows no caro, Kneels down ere she climbs into bed And sweetly lisps her evening prayer. "I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to keep" And angols hover near the place To watch the smiling dimples creep Across the dear one's happy face. Their wings are noiseless In their beat That they may catch each lisping tone To bear them upward and repeat In chorus 'round the golden throne. "If I should die before I wake" Dear God, not that! Our little one, Ofapare her yet else our hearts break, Though still we say, Thy will bo done. She trusts in Thee, and lisping prays That He who notes the sparrow's fall Will guard her all her earthly days And heed her ev'ry trusting call. "I pray Thee, Lord, my soul to take" Givo mo a faith like that, I pray. She knows her sleeping eyes will wake To greet again returning day. It may bo that its golden rayB Will light the shores of Over There, But with deep faith she kneels and prays And gives her soul to God's good caro. "And this I ask for Jesus' sake" That when life's care and toil are o'er My weary eyes at last shall wake Upon that furthor golden shore. That I shall see what Curly Head With eyes of fait . can plainly see Each night when she, robed for her bed, Kneels down to pray at mamma's knee. a transaction between himself and tho client of Colonel Ingersoll. When the time came to argue the case Judge Clark arose and began an impassioned plea to the jury. He re viewed tho evidenco brought out by his witnesses and scathingly de nounced the other side. Working himself up to a fine frenzy the judge arose to his tiptoes, raised his hands above his head and shouted: "This is tho evidence in the case,, gentlemen of the jury, and if it is not fraud that has been practiced upon my client then f-r-o-d does not spell fraud." As Judge Clark sat down Colonel Ingersoll arose and in pleasant voice said: "Gentlemen of the jury, I cheerful ly admit that Judge Clark has the bet ter of me in orthography, but I leave it to you to decide whether or not he has tho better of me in this case." That was all, and before the court and spectators had ceased smiling at Judge Clark's unique spelling the jury returned a verdict for Colonel Inger soll's client But the Stick. "Will you kindly elevate your hands' and permit mo to relieve you of your valuables?" So soft and dulcet were tho tones of tho highwayman that we were de ceived, therefore wo hesitated. Alas! In addition to being relieved of our purse and timepiece we are now nurs ing a sadly bruised head. Hereafter we will remember the big Uick. Making Sure. Picking up the speaking tube the managing editor called down to his chief assistant: "Has the president of the First Ra tional bank read proof on the editorial page?" "Yes, sir." "Has the general manager of tho Street Railway company made" his corrections?" ' "Yes, sir." "Has the president of the Consoli dated Steel company put on his 0. IC?" "Yes, sir." "Have you made the corrections or dered by the first vice president of the X., Y. & Z. railroad?" "Yes, sir." "Are you sure that the Eastern Con federated Telegraph and Telephone company is satisfied with the editorial on public ownership?" "Yes, sir." "All right. Run a red line across the top of the first page saying that The Bugle is the people's paper, and start the press." tho graduating class of the local high school. After tho address the lecturer, accompanied by several friends, re paired to tho local hotel to wait for their train. The hotel was conducted by a woman and she, with several other women, joined the crowd in the hotel parlors and listened to the an necdotes told by the lecturer and his companions. The subject finally turned upon the old claim that women are deficient in tne sense of humor and therefore un able to quickly grasp the point of a joke. The lecturer disputed the claim and said that it was founded on the fact that centuries ago some .one started it as a joke and that it had since been going the rounds. How ever, he was reminded of a story often told to show that women were slow to se9 the point of a joke and told it. "Once a party of tourists were sail ing on the Mediterranean sea and as they approached the historic city of Athens a woman in tne party, point ing to the land asked of a gentleman standing near: " 'What is that dazzling white yon der in the distance?' " 'That is snow in the mountains,' replied the gentleman. "'Well, that's what I thought it was,' said the woman, 'but somebody told mo it was Greece.' " Tho gentlemen in the parlor laughed, but the good landlady only looked surprised. Finally she mus tered up courage enough to ask: "Yes, but how did the grease come to be on the mountains?" Now only the natural gallantry of the lecturer will impel him to longer deny that women are slow to catch the point of a joke. end of tho wire. "Can you furnish' me a bass singer for tomorrow night?" "A bass singer? Why, yes, I reck on so," answered the farmer, laugh ing. "What do you want one for?" "Because the one we've had up to now is sick. What would be your terms?" "Well, I usually furnish 'em by tho dozen. I won't charge you anything for one. How do you want him sent?" "What are you talking about?" "Who do you think you're talkiu to?" "Isn't this tho Chicago opera house?" "No. This is the Barataria frog farm." Youth's Companion. A Pertinent Question. Tho Pennsylvania Railway com pany, in an effort to drive the West ern Union Telegraph company from its right-of-way, recently destroyed property; valued at $1,000,000 belong ing to the latter. Is it because a cor poration did this that it has not been exploited as a lamentable example of the spread of the anarchistic spirit in this country? Houston, Post. , Seasonable Verse. Now comes the man who huildeth rhyme, Sans collar, coat and vest, To toil and sweat through summer time Without a moment's rest. With visage flushed by torrid heat He sayB, "O, pshaw!" or worse He's toiling that he may complete His batch of Christmas verse. In January's ice and snow He shivered day and night As o'er the page his pen did go And write, and write, and write. x-j looked and saw adown the street The snow go swirling by. But he had verses to complete For Fourth Day of July. AGENTS WANTED. Either Sox. No canvassIAg. No soliciting. No time from your regular occupation. No ono will know yoa (ire my representative no capital, outucor exponcne needed. Easy .permanent, honorable and profitable work that can bo dono at homo. Adtiresa J. W. KID1), Key 7098 Vi. Wayao, 14 THE FAVORITE Looking Forward. "Gee!" exclaimed the germ, nestling ?p to its mate and waiting until Noah nad gono forward. "Just think what will happen when the old man dis covers us." Little did tho lowly germs reck that Noah would never receive any college degrees for getting on to their existence. Old Saws Reset. A bird in tho bush is worth a whole flock on tho hat. A new broom has gathered no dust. People who live in glass houses should pull down tho blinds. Fine feathers do not make healthy bedding. Procrastination is not a habit with the tax collector. The early worm feeds the birds. A fool and his money keep the bar tender busy. Do not count your garden until the chickens are fried. Thero are bettar fish in the sea than ever were caught, because the big ones always get away. A stitch in the Bide is good for the doctor's purse. Pardonable Error. Disguised as an administration spell binder the representative of the Standard Grease company arose to address thevgathered throng. "Hands up!" he shrieked. " Pardon me, my fellow citizens," he hurried on to say, "I have merely made a slight mistake in my dates. I should have said 'hands off!' " LUDWIQ I M fiiffi j.rrni... ' 1..1. nmn jj 3 PIANO. I " Awarded Medals: Paris 1900. Buffalo 1901. London 1902. QUALITY HIGH PRICES LOW Musicians agroo that for Resonant Tone, Agreeable Touch, Quick Action, Beautiful Case Design, The Ludwig is their Favorite Piano. Write for a New Catalogue. Proof "Is Bannah prominent in your com munity?" "Prominent! "Well I should say he is. Why, when his daughter was mar ried the county papers wrote it up for purty nigh a column." Orthographical, Years and years ago, when Meta tnora was tho county seat of Woodford county, Illinois, one of tho prominent lawyers of the Metamora bar was Judge Clark. Ho was learned in the law, but his general knowledge was somewhat limited. It came to pass that Judge Clark and the late Colonel ingersoll one day found themselves on opposite sides of a case wherein Not lone airo n. woll-lmown iPftnror Judge Clark's client alleged fraud-in 1 vJplted a Missouri towh and addressed t, Explained. "A few years ago Gotrox was a poor man. Now ho is rated as a mil lionaire. Do you believe he made his money honestly?" "I know ho did." "Well, how aid ho do it?" "He started a laundr in Pittsburg." Positive Proof. What Job Jllssed? "Yes, I know Job has tho reputation of being the most patient man," said Mr. Perry Eako, "but I'll bet he never tried to color a meerschaum pipe." Singers and Crakers. The extent to which the agricultural portions of tho middle west are now supplied with modern conveniences may be inferred from the story which follows: Thero camo a ring at tho telephone in a farm house in north ern Illinois one day last summer, and the farmer himself responded. "Hello!" he said. "Hello!" said tho voice at the other LUDWIG & CO. Southern Boulovard, Now York. FISHING AND HUNTING Colorado possesses some of tho finest fishing and hunting grounds on earth, the dense forests being tho natural covert for elk, deer, and other game. Its myriads of streams teem with mountain trout; its lakea, while also full of attractions for the nngler, arc also tho haunt of millions of geeso. ducks, and other wild fowls. Splendid Train Service to Colorado VIA UNION PACIFIC Accommodations provided for all classes of passengers. Vary Low Hates During: the Summer dressing0""11"011 may bc obtained by ad" I Gen. Agent, Lincoln, Neb. r &,.