fMUlMMKfM 'i i h... .I ii .I if, i i t.iMm utiii 1 1 wjji ityiT v ) n jty. iiix," ),'" igil! vvw ViVjWfWa
The Commoner.
10
VOLUME 3, NUMBER u.
' W DEFIANCE to th moJpoU ilJH!1
iw cvirywhtr f erttd .upon tho hotels.. w.
utitlon oA tho ginJniMH of all our offer
BUB
r.a.
The PHt 0r.ira Pat. .
"A rich man built a row of flats,
. AH modern and complete;
'('A volvot lawn stretched out In front
, Along the dusty stroot.
'And then ho tacked a sign up high
, Above the passing crowd:
"Thoso handsomo modern flats for
rent;
No children are allowed."
Ho garnered ronts In golden storo
And riches high ho piled,
Tho while his building never rang
"With laughter of a child.
No childish feet went pltty-pat
Adown Its marble halls;
Tho roomy echoos never rang
With children's loving calls.
Tho owner died, as all men must,
Arid nearod St. Peter's gate,
And o'er tho glowing arch ho saw
Tho words that sealed his fate.
Tho words ho road wore writ In flamo
And filled his heart with woe:
"This place is full of little ones
You'll havo to go below."
Good Reason,
"Nobody evoi saw a bald-headed
Indian."
"Of course not; they aro experi
enced halr-ralsors."
Race Suicide.
"This talk about 'race suicide,' " re
- marked tho lion, "makes me tired."
"There doesn't seem to be much
. foundation for tho talk," admitted tho
rabbit
Sure Sign.
"Wraggsloy is tho worst hypocrite
I ever saw."
"What makes you think so?"
"Why, yostorday he listened for an
hour while Nupop told about tho
smart things his boy says and ho
protended all tho time that he really
enjoyed it." '
Contradictory.
Tr"angl" worm is ful1 of curves,
May" applos como in Juno;
"Lead" pencils aro not made of load
A Till "ctTVinr..n.. 1 ww
mi i . "i "U1D "uvo no spoon.
Black" berries aro, as well wo know
Quito green when they aro red;
o.nd boys must always go "afoot"
When they walk up "ahead."
Senator Qraball.
"Senator, is there any monev in
politics?" asked the young mam
Assuming a thoughtful expression
S&2S?1111 replIod' after
"I do not know whether there is
any loft or not We havo been taking
it out rather rapidly of late."
la a Bad Way.
Tho great financial magnate was de
pressed and sad.
"Alas," he moaned, "I can no longer
make use of large sums of money. All
the colleges aro supplied beyond any
possible need. Every community has
a handsomo library. All tho art treas
ures of the world havo been gathered
SS5imySi,Vy for th0 "& onXJ
public. What can I do?"
"Pardon, sir," said tho private sec
retary. "You might cease wringing
TSSoSs thQ peopl and glve &E
JPanm?m not d0'" said tho mag
nate. "The man who does only his
duty to his follows does not get front
Page position under tho sluf LaSs '
Being a wise man the private sec
rotary remained mum for tho rest of
tho day.
Crushed Ambition.
When tho young man descended the
broncho was not there, and he hit the
hard prairie soil with d. s. t
Hurrying to his sldo wo anxiously
Inquired:
"Are you injured?"
"Physically, no; but tho chief am
bition of my life has been crushed."
In reply to our anxious query con
cerning it ho sadly remarked:
"Now that it has been demonstrated
that I cannot break tho fractious
broncho how can I, who was not born
In a log cabin nor compelled to study
by tho light of a fireplace, ever hope
to become president?"
Realizing the awful blow we could
only turn away with a deep sob in
our throat.
Tho Prize Winner.
Tho shades of the great inventors
gathered on the 4 banks of the Styx
and soon were engaged in an ani
mated discussion as to which had con
ferred tho greatest blessing on man-
Kind.
Just as tho discussion threatened to
terminate in a fight a thin quavering
and shady voice piped forth:
"All you fellows will havo to take
to tho Stygian timber. I am entitled
to the prize."
With one accorcTthe shades looked
toward Che presumptuous speaker.
Not ono recognized him.
"0, I ain't known to famo, and
that's why you don't recognize me.
But I'm it, just the same. I invented
tho street car strap."
Owing to tho fact that there was
nothing more to say a large chunk of
silence fell upon the shadowy throng.
TJmerlcks.
A man who sat in the parquetto
Said, "This is an awful bum pluetta.
The ballet and chorus
Do nothing but bhor us.
So it's better to go than to stuette."
There was a bold sailor named Leigh
Who never set sail on the seigh.
On the firm solid shore
His yacht suit he wore
And kept it as clean as could beigh.
There was a sweet lassie named
jviayme
Who played a
gaymo.
But shocking to say
When she made a misplay
Tho language she used was a shayme.
Thoro was a young, fellow in Me.
Who was thought to bo weak in the
bn.
For the neighbors all said
"He's so weak in the head
He won't come in out of tho rn.w
..Jealous.
The plumber and the iceman con
versed in low tones.
"We've got to do something or be
lost in tho shuffle," said the man with
tho .tongs.
fw 'ii?0'8 SWwtaS rich at a rate
that will make us look like the 25
cont chunk of ice you leavo on the
back porch," said the man with the
pipe wrench.
"Or a householder's purse after he
has paid your bill," retorted he of tho
But before the conversation grow
real good golfing
personal to tho point of conflict the
twain harked back to the original sub
ject. In the meantime the owner of tho
moylng van said nothing but har
vested tho coin.
The Han With the Hoe.
Peas and beans and -lettuce
Peeping through tho soil;
Soon we'll go and get us
Fruit for all our toil.
But tho everlasting weeds
Growing quickly from their seeds
Keep a fellow busy hoeing when it's
more of sleep he needs.
Onions and potatoes
Growing green and fino;
Soon we'll see tomatoes
Hanging on the vine.
But the everlasting weeds,
Each ono over upward speeds,
And a fellow's got to hoe 'em for the
garden sass he needs.
Eeets and cool cucumbers
Growing night and day;
Neither over slumbers
Or fools its time away.
But the everlasting weeds
Weary toilintr never heeds.
And you've got to go and hoe 'em till
for rest your backbone pleads.
Balmy winds are blowing,
Blowing day and night;
Garden truck is growing
Up with all its might.
But the everlasting weeds
All the other verdure leads,
And a fellow's got to hoe 'em if on
garden sass he feeds.
Brain Leaks.
All skies are bright when the heart
is full of hope.
A man is not poor if he has the love
of the little folk.
Satan shuns tho home that owns a
well thumbed Bible.
Some people doubt because it is
easier than investigation.
If love could be bought with .money
this would be a cheerless world.
Doubt stands dumb before the
mother who weeps for her babe.
The devil never worries about the
man who gives nothing but advice.
Too many people take their trou
bles to God and keep their joys to
themselves.
There are no childless flats in
heaven; they aro all in the other
place or here.
Men who never heed the loud call
of conscience never miss .the faint
whisper of temptation.
It is a poor Christian that looks
longer for soft pews than for oppor
tunities for loving sacrifice.
Did you ever hear of a man claim
ing that he was misquoted if the
words attributed to him met with the
approbation of the public?
Some men who claim to be too wise
to believe the story of Jonah and the
whale are so foolish that they believe
their party can do no wrong.
No flystery.
"There is no mystery about tho
president's attitude no psychological
expert is needed to explain his men
tal operations," says tho Philadelphia
SSS f 5 man hG- knows the
tariff ought to be reduced; as a presi
dent and an aspirant after the nomi
nation next year he is in the hands
of the republican leaders." Certain!
ly. He is not so wedded to any pro
position in government or pontics
that ho will not sacrifice it for the
sake of giving the country the benefit
of four years more of admlSLtraS
under his alleged direction! Much of
his talk does not have real meaning
and what does will not c mea g,
thing in practice.-Jopliu Globe
KSSZP." uuoo ARt
ttoa tto cm" PhotuS7.nn
1901 0 Ui Phon. 14.50
16! (M "Homo" Phon. 31.75
'wing Mtcnino for
EihlbtUon Pumsu 25.00
Soft Wx RteonJ,nty . ffQ
60o Now Praeoto Roe. 9s-
Uto Moultfad fltcom -sba
n.M.. M I. ....... ...-"."?. .'
..i"Z .Z -J" ".""" "" ? Mothinoo
oM wllti Thrx, Deton Roeonfo oE
ii iii 1 1 iiwwY.ri 1 1
ERICAN PHONOGRAPH !&
.r ....... m. ui. nanaaa Oily. no.
ESHXKTOI
man
,
ionWJ
b PuaLfc
TREES $ Tcst;r78 Ycan
su(mw JJABQEST Nuraery.
Fnrnr Tannic . Wn irk 1 fieri
WAWT -MfYTlP. Rir.viuvw rA IW..M.
STARK BROS, Louisiana, Mo.:IIuntsvlllc, Ala.;Etc
STARK
AAMTCn " othora to Join In establishing profit
VVMIN I LU ebarlng farm In "BIG POTLATOH,"
Idaho Company now organizing. For lull Informa
tion, address, Ihos. Malony, Spokano, Wash.
kTww to r jyVVwL, ojVH)
WTO 25. vHH
ffSx- :'b-x-o-w
OAIN AGUES
by cltrlBthaWtanipy tilce
,o! land. XIIR IlERlUUCS
itttton Pnllf rDoUstuiTitonm
rta.H. II.. I.V... I r
auic free. H,reu!es Mfe. Co., Diat. l0 Ccnlorvllli. love
f5l
Wo will send any bicycle ts any address with tho mu
DAYS' FRtfE TRIAL and It you do not find It easier run
ning, nandsomor, stronger, bottor finished and equipped,
more up to dato and hlfrher grndo than any hlcyelo
you can buy elsowhoro at 5.00 to 815.00 more money, yonci
rclBrnHlout oureipemoaaa joanlll not boout onocenL
&if fIC ?.?"-our ncw H'CM GRADE 1903
OlUnSib NEWTON BICYCLE, which wo guar.
"WBw antco Btrongor. easlor riding, better
equipped bottor frame, wlicols, hubs and bearlnira
?. y.011.!1 Bot m anY 'hor blcyclo for les3 than I20.0C
i?UrL?P2..NAoll"EON BICYCLE la priced at
about ONE-HALF tho lowest price asked by othora.
1 or Free Bicycle Catalogue, hundreds of prico surprises
m bicycles and supplies, ourTree Trial and Ouarantco
PrODOSlllon and our Mnnl A,nnlhlnct nitor mt tliln
.a .... iir 'i"vr."'"" ru"' " ""
nu. uubuuu
mail
t SEARS, ROEBUCK Mimm
THE FAVORITE
y J LUDWIG I
ffl PIANO. I Iff
Awarded
Medals:
Paris 1900.
Buffalo 1901.
London 1002,
QUALITY HIGH
PRICES LOW
LUDWIG &COo
Southern Boulevard, Naw York.
Musicians ogreo
that for
Resonant Tone
Agreeable Touch,
Quick Action,
Beautiful
Case Design,
The Ludwig
is their Favorite
Piano.
Write for a New
Catalogue.
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