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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (April 24, 1903)
"tVajWyM11' 1 The Commoner, VOLUME 3, NUMBER H. i - fW " 7 10 CcoBonlc Bvelutioa ."I think I speak for the great ma jority of the American people when I say that we are not in the least against wealth as such, whether In dividual or corporate; that wo merely desire to see any abuse of corporate or combined wealth corrected and remedied; that we do not desire tho abolition or destruction of big cor porations, but, on tho contrary, rec ognlzo them as being In many cases efficient economic Instruments, the re sults of an inevitable process of eco nomic evolution." Extract from President Roosevelt's Milwaukee speech. Bill Jones he wuz a wonder in his grasp o' bus'ness ways, An' he alius had a reason f'r his schemes' He would look up at th' cellln' with a sort o' sleepy gaze, Just as if ho saw th' reason in his .dreams. Couldn't stump ol' Bill a minnit, f'r statistics wuz his holt, An' he alius said that Aggers never lied. If you handed him a problem calcu lated f'r t jolt, "Economic evolution," Bill replied. When he marked up his torbacker 'loven cents upon th pound Ezra Jenkins swore it wuz a Tobher trick; Said th' trusts wuz jus a stompin' th v consumer in th' ground, An declared such on'ry .doin's made him sick. "Look hero, Bill," said Ezra hotly, "do you think you kin explain This hero robbin' goin' on on ev'ry sido?" With a fur-off gaze at nothin' like a man endurin' pain, "Economic evolution," Bill replied. Whon his caliker was boosted 'bout four cents on ev'ry yard Deacon Smithers' wife wuz mad enough t' fight; creditors a score, "Economic evolution," s Bill replied. Repartee. "0, you're hot so much," exclaimed the Delaware peach. "Well, I can get my name in the papers without meeting a frost," re torted the California prune. Seasonable. Put away the little coal joke;' It has earned i hrief respite 'Tis the ice. gag that Is ready To afflict us day and night Klaraet. "My boy might have been presi dent of the United States if it hadn't been for one thing." "What was that?" "Well, our village was too little to be incorporated and wo couldn't elect no mayor, and that let my boy out" Troe. There was a young man in Wahoo Whoso ninety day note was long doo. He hadn't a groat To pay on the noat And he felt correspondingly bloo. Catck It Both Ways. No more the chilly winter air Doth bitingly concern us; No more we climb the cellar stair To feed the greedy furnace. But in their place we see the face Of one whose greed increases; For 'tis a case of yield with grace The iceman now will fleece us. Limited. "I did think for a time that man was some pumpkins," remarked the weary head of tho house." "What made you change your minor' It seems to mo that there should be some way of averaging this thing up." "Well, just as I can emit heatine un I t.VlO hnilRA tn lroon HlO lrl nnt T rniinf wwvo a9 I HHw Mww w ww vuu W1U Will JL "V An' sue spent a nour in awnr m a uegin buying ice to keep the heat out 111)11111111 UlJllll 1LI1 11U.111. I But ol Bill ho didn't mind it, not a mite. "Why has caliker gone higher while my aigs is goih' down " In a voice o' passion Missus Smith ers cried. With a fur-off gaze at nothin' an' his for'he'd full o' frown, "Economic evolution," Bill replied. the Whom Bill tilted up th' prices uv his prunes an' navy beans An' cut down th' price uv eggs an' garden truck, Ev'ry farmer's wife wuz askin', "Won der what ol' Bill Jones moans," An' complalnln' 'bout their usual bad luck. But Bill kopt right on boostin' up th' things ho had t sell, While by 2 all that he bought ho would divide; An' when asked f'r explanation all their doubts ho would dispel '.Economic evolution," Bill repJled. One day Bill he set a-schemin' 'cause nis trade wuz mighty bad, An'- determined he would work a mighty coop Which is French an meanin tricky an' a little later had Ev'rything a-workln' his way with a. whoop. Noxt day "Closed up by th' sheriff" wuz the sign oh Joneses store, But there wasn't airy bit o' stock Inside. An' when asked f'r explanation by Mb A Dozen "Don'ts" Don't count your eggs before hens begin laying. Don't buy this week's srocorles with next week's wages. Don't expect tho boy to be happy in a cheerless house. Don't worry about trifles until Hi a big troubles are settled. Don't criticise the sermon if you haven't paid tho preacher. Don't be disappointed if your son insists on doing as you do. Don't let your courtship days end at the altar. Brain Leak. Thoso who think much about death get little out of life. Debt is a deep hole, easy to fall in to and hard to crawl out of. We'd give quite a bit to know what a six-months' old baby thinks about It takes something more than abil ity to givo, to becomes philanthropist A mother always says that her prettiest children "look llko my folks." Some people always carry their troubles to God and keep their joy to themselves. Some people never find their faith in God until they have lost all faith in the family doctor. In order to enjoy life to the utmost you must have some sorrows by which to make comparisons. - What a perfect old world this would be If each of us were as good "as we know we ought to be. Some of the finest bindings contain tho poorest literature. It is often the same way with fine clothes. If investors of excuses could patent them the patent office would soon fur nish employment to everybody. A smile and n frown come at the same price, out the former pays hap py interest on the Investment Some men spend so much of their lives trying to get rich quick that they never have time to make a living. The most miserable failure in life is the man who always acts on the ad vice of others and never follows his own. A man should realize that he is, growing old when he finds that spring weather does not give him that fishing feeling. If this year's graduates could do all they think they can do there would-be nothing left for next year's graduates to tackle. Paying a choir to sing your songs of praise is a great deal like smell ing the perfume of flowers with some one else's nose. The fathers of large families would have more time to rejoice over the size if they could devote less time to meeting tne bills. Some men get fulsome praise on their tombstones because they never gave their friends a chance to praise them while alive. The best articles on the joy of farm life are written by those who wouldn't know the difference between a stirring plow and a corn-planter. We wish some man would invent a barber shon where the man whn ia in a hurry could always find an empty chair and an idle barber. Can you imagine a more distressful sight at this gladsome spring time than that of a boy or girl about to graduate trying to think out a grad uating oration? . r am 2fiaBBmr HIGH GRADE T0P BUGGY $27.90 buys o n r hb., Boggy. The best $j7.90 buggy sold any- Xflf -where at the price. v H I 5 jiaa Barron, patens wheels, plllptloond aprings. ruooo drill ton and spring cush ions." 16 Is handsomely painted with a plain body rfnd dark groongoar in either wide or narrow etrlno. it thlabORKyia pot perfectly satisfactory and tho equal of bUEBioa your local dcalor sella for S40.M return it at our oxpenao and we will refund yourmonoy.. Wo sell you vohlclea at tho aamo price i your deaJjorhi compelled to pay tho jobber. SAVE FREIGHT CHARGES .tr.roul8 ,s so Seated that weoan save yon from $3.08 to 55.00 freight charges on a buggy or wagon over other markets. Eemember this when buying your buggy. Wo wUl send B&Sfil BUGGY CATALOGUE FREE upon receipt of request. It shows you our comploto lino of higk grado Btrrrios, stanhopes, phaetons, buggies, spring and farm wagons. Lujfiies Bros. Mercantile Go.. Si. Louis. Mo. THE FAVORITE 1 I LUDWIG J aaW l' mmm'" TTii l ol ftaV H aaV 1 O i ta I lHk I ';! PIANO. J " Awarded Medals: Paris 1900. Buffalo 1901. London 1902. QUALITY HIGH PRICES LOW LUDWIG & CO Musicians agrea that for Resonant Tone, Agreeable Touch, Quick Action, Beautiful Case .Design, . The Ludwig is their Favorite Piano. Write for a New Catalogue. Bo'nthern Boulevard, New York. WONDERFUL RESOURCES OP THE WBST Don't fail to religiously keep every promise you make to your children. Don't begin today without a deter mination to profit by the mistakes of yesterday. Don't grumble at your luck until you are ready to admit that you no longer possess plucki Don't forget that those who listen while you talk about your neighbors will. listen while tho neighbors talk about you. Dpn't imagine for a minute that it is harder to give ihls sort of advlco than it is to follow it, for giving ad vice is the easiest 'thing to do. If you are looking for a horns and want to visit tho Wflflfc von can do so with very little expense as tho Union Pacific will sell One-way Colo nist tickots every day at th following rates from Lincoln. UNTIL JUNE 15tH $25.00 to San Francisco, Los Angelei and many other California points. UNTTT. APHTT. SfWrr 120.00 to Ogden, Salt Laka City, Butte, Anaconda and Helena. $22.50 to Spokane and Wanatchee. $25.00 to Portland, Tacoma, Seattle, and many other Oregon and Washington points. From Chicago and St. Louis, propor tionately low raUs are in effect by lines connecting with the Union Pacific. The Union Pacific has also extended territory to which" round trip Homeseek ers' Excursion tickets will be iold at fol lows: From Missoum Rivtmi Terminates To many points in Kansas, Nebraska and Colorado; To many points in Wyomine, Utah, Mon tana and Haho; . To many points in Oregon and "Washing ton. - - - 0n6 fQro plus $2.00 for the round trip. Tiokots on sale March 17, April J and 21? May 15 and 10, Jun 2 and 16. 1903. Three things are better i, S 0fui! information call on or addwfa alone debt, doubt and drink v u bloMson Gn, Agtnt ..Lincoln No matter how clean a man keeps tho house, when his wife returns she always exclaims, "My, goodness; will I ever get things straightened around!" Tho height of impudence is when a merchant uses rubber stamped sta tionery to write to the editor of the local paper complaining about the editor accepting advertising from merchants in another town. Three things must bo Cultivated if wo wuum uuve mem growgood na ture, good cheer and good friendshin Three things will grow unless rooted vu. uuvjr iUUllCU ana BQlflnhnnaa . nW 1 Jittm Mmm ...ir J-.." i-y. n- --iinyi-i mirr'vi.m