"tw The Commoner. VOLUMES, NUMBER 2. 10 V & w mfitHC I J VN I . rM II I V Xl V- - c J Nothing but Soma Rumors After all DoubtloRB you have hoard It statod Knox would prosecute combines, Well, It' nothing but a rumor after nil. 'And that greed would do full justice to the men who work the mines. Well, it's nothing but a rumor after all. It may be that Rockefeller will reduce the, prlco of oil Ak an answer to the people's earnest call. But you'd bettor not believe it as your plans I'll have to spoil It is nothing but a rumor after all. Once wo heard that civil service was the love of Roosevelt. Well, 'twas nothing but a rumor after all. That a hate for crooked workers we must all, suppose ho felt But it seems 'twas only rumor af ter all. With a Clarkson put In office then sent over southern states Civil service seems a vlituevrather small. , ; Onco 'twas told ho wanted good men, but his action indicates That 'tsyas nothing but a rumor af ter all. Once tho g. o. T.'as quoted as a, friend of true reform. - Well, It seems 'twas only rumor af ter all. That for honesty, and justice it had friendship truo and-warm, Rut 'twas nothing but a rumor af ter all. " 'Twill reform tho Dingloy tariff and deal equal justico 'round," We wore told am early spring till lato in fall. But since trusting it to do it to our sorrow wo have found ' That 'twas nothing but a rumor af ter all. Doubtless you havo hoard tho story that 'Us" peaceful in Uusson.1 Well, it scorns 'tis only rumor af ter; all. ;i'hat It 'was a -peaceful picture which r, wo ought to gaze upon. ' ;But . 'twas nothing only rumor after all. "When we've got to bribe tho dattds anil go hiking for Ladrones Through tho trackless jungle timber thick and tall, All this talk of peace wo'ro given In v,rBV,CU,blnUd niUl 0ilv tOIieS- AAell, it seems that it is rumor af- Out of (he Swim. Mrs. Lottsmon "That Mrs. Olstile really does not belong in our social iJJ? ?otroxr"1 have b0n suspic- loUshow itr But what has she done Mrs Lottsmon-"Sho is polite to tho salespersons, tries not to cause them too much work and the ot hor day she actually matched a ribbon JJ thout looking at everything on th2 ribbon counter." Frightened. "Gentlemen," remarked tho chair 2S?nSE th0AlliGd Tr3t Managers' L danger?"' W ar fadng a e Mv'ff lS IU" 8hrIeked tne assem bly with one voice. hiBE?niUJft anV"truBt blUs aro Aot be ing introduced. Tho first ti,? ,, know a selection mlShfbS S mmonrorTjirt "But what shall we do?" "Well, gentlemen, it strikes me that we should Issue orders to our congres sional employes to keep the rest of them so busy considering new bills that they will not have time to select one for enactment into law." Hopefnt. "Roundeboutt is one o' dem blamed optermists." "What's he doin' now?" "He finks dis coal famine will use up all de wood an' make sawin' some thin' no longer t' be dreaded." Pettier Goose Royae. Old King Coal is a mercenary soul, A stingy old soul if you please. For his benefit he puts us in a hole, And don't care a snap if we freeze. Mng a song of oil trust, Pockets full of "dough," Many universities Planted in a row. When they want more money Prom the oil trust, then . Mr. Rockefeller Makes us "dig!' again. John is in hiB counting house Piling up his money; Dr. Harper feeling Mighty good and funny. Whon ho needs the ducats . His oil friend is seen, Then tho Standard Oil trust , Picks our pockets clean. . , There was a Mr. Knox and ho had a little gun, But his bullqts were made out of dough, dough, dough. And ho swore loudly he would shoot monopo-leo, But couldn't hit tho mark,- don't you know, know, know. Tom, Tom, the financier btolo all things that ho found near. Iho people said, "A genius he!" Tom missed tho ponitentlar-ree. Had Tom swiped bread the court midst cheers Would send Tom up for seven years. Brain Leaks. Easy won seldom lasts. Tho fool never profits by his mis takes. Tho home homelike means the street boylcss. Cheerupathy is the best school of medicine. A happy memory is the best staff for old age. If prayer alone saved heaven would be easily won. True Christianity does not work in eight-hour shifts. Keep Trying wins beforo Keep Sighing gets started. People who denounce gossip should refuse to listen to it Money will purchase pleasure, but happiness must be won. A heart without faith is fertile soil for the seeds of despair. Yesterday is for regrot, tomorrow for rest, today for endeavor. morrow whn Tn2 lea?s a winninS crusade while Tell How beats a hasty retreat Too many men do not learn how to live until their time has come to die! He who always looks on the bright sideways enjoys good mora 1 oyl Somo people sing "Jesus paid it all" and imagine that" they have a receipt in full The man who takes no interest in politics is not easily aroused to work for good government- t When politics becomes the duty 01 every citizen it wjll cease to be tho profession of the few. Thh mnn who is too bUSV to go to the polls always has plenty of time to grumble about his taxes. You can't tell by the wag of a dog's tail how good liis master is. It mere ly shows the disposition of dogs. Some men keep so busy demanding their rights that they have no time to take advantage of their privileges. The man who is always boasting that he is self-made gives evidence of having paid especial attention to his vocal chords. When a man complains about "yel low journalism" it is pretty .safe to in fer that he has been exposed in some dirk scheme. The young man who only works enough to earn his wages is always the young man who complains because he cannot get a better job. Wouldn't Trade. It is said that Dingley put up the tariff schedules enormously high so as to afford a margin for the pro tected interests to swap "cinches." Tlv: game, however, failed to work, for the reason that no follow was willing. to have his cinch traded off in the in terest of the other fellow. Memphis Daily News. A New Catarrh Cure, Wh'ch is Rapidly Com- tog to the Front. ; For several years, Eucalyptol Guaiacol and Ilydrastin have been recognized as standard rem edies for catarrhal troubles, but they have al ways been given separately and only very recent- ly an ingenious chemibt succeeded in combining them, together with other antiseptics into a pleasant effective tablet. Druggists sell the remedy under the name of Stuart's Catarrh Tablets and it has met w.Ui re markable success in the cure of nasal catarrh bronchial and throat catarrh and in catarrh of" thestomach. Mr. F. N. Benton, whose address is care of Clark House. Troy N. Y. eays: "When I run tip agaiust anything that is good I like to tell people less for some tune. Last winter more than ever Tried several so-called cures, but did not get any benefit from them. About six weeks ago I bought a so cent box of Stuart's Catarrh Tablets and am glad to say that they have done wonders for meand I do not hesitate to let all my friends thhT Stuart's Calarrh Tablets are the right Mr. Geo. J. Casanova of hotel Griffon. West oth street, New York City writes: "I linve com menced using Stuart's Catarrh Tablets and a rcady they have given me better results than anv catar,rh cure I have ever tried." y A leading physician of rittsburg advises the use of Stuart's datarrh Tablets in preference tS any other treatment fof catarrh of the bead throat or stomach, "cnu, lie claims they are far superior to inhalers salves, otions or i powder, and are much more convenient and pleasant to take and are fiohnrn, ess that little children take thtm wUh bSieSHS they contain no opiate, cocaine or any poteonoul All druggists sell Stuart's Catarrh Tablets at ll?ls forulI 8l?S Poe and they arc pro" LmofetafrCrSh.andn,0?t TeIiablc & 'Sy The Right Thing, J wm 1118 ftp? Hjg- wW ) I Will Cure You of Rheumatism Else No Money is Wanted. After 2,000 experiments, I hare learned how to. euro RheUmatlsm. tfot to turn bony joints into flesh again; that is impossible. But I can euro tho disease always, at any stage, and ,fdr- ever. ' y'H I ask for -o money. Simply write me a postal and I will send you ari oiS dor on your nearest arugglst for six" bottles Dr. Shoop's Rheumatic CuVe, for every druggist keeps it Usp'lt for a month and, if It succeeds',' tne cost is only ?5.60. If it fails," I will pay the druggist myself. 0k I have no sam: es, because any me'd icino that can affoc Rheumatism quickly must be drugged to the vrge of danger. I use no such drugsncV it is folly to take them. You 'itfust get the disease out of the blood. xt ; My remedy does that,' even hl tile most difficult obstinate case's. No matter how impossible this seems 'to you, I know it' and take the risfcfc have cured tens of thousands of cases in this way, and my records show thatj. 39 out of 40 who get six bottles $ayA gladly. I have learned that peoplerVa general are honest with a physidlah who cures them. That-is all I : able. If I fail I don't expect a penny from you. ' ' ' Simply write me a postal cardlo"r a letter. I will send you my book afrput Rheumatism, and an order for1 the medicine. Take it for a 'month, "as It won't harm you anyway. If it fails, it is free, and I leave, -tL9 .deqislon, with you. Address Dr. Shoop, Box 515, Racine, Wis. , t ,,,.,- Mild cases,, not chronic, ara .often ' cured by oneor,:woTbottles. TAtnaJl druggists. ," . ' Ridiculously Evasive. "We are bound to believe that Mr. Roosevelt's heart is in his policy of regulating trusts, yet even here he -Is singularly vague and inconclusive. He does not specify a single definite evil or namo one precise remedy. Itr is true, he refers congress to the recom mendations of his fprmer messago which were, in a general way, public ity and national superyision but they, are pretty well forgotten by this timfc.' Nor is the memory of them likely to be balancing now on both sides of the question, and his' final recomnierida tion in language as ridiculously evas ive as that which President Mckinley used about the trusts, and which they read and went off chuckling that con gress pass "a law reasonable la 'its provisions and effective in its opera tions. "That will not frighten any body. This entire part of the message will, in short, be taken as an effort to qualify and minimize the president's previous deliverances on the subject "of trusts. New York Evening Post. . Circus Style. The president is striving to throw the whole blame for inactivity in pro viding trust-curbing legislation upon congress. It is not exactly according to tho American system that the president should boss congress, but-it is certainly not that system either that congress should ignore him. If the republican party really means to regulato the trusts it ought to elect men who will undertake the job ser iously, and this applies to the presi dent and congress as well. All have seen tho clown in the circus who makes great pretonse of helping tho ringman spread tho carpet for the acrobats and never touchos It These visits to tho White house appear ar ranged in the same circus styled-New Orleans Daily States'. " . iT"n'iiiiiti