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The Commoner.
1V0L. 3, No.
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Three Dreamers.
iWe.'ro drifting along on the River
Dreams,
Dorothy, Rona and I. ,,,,,
iWo'rc -guided aright by tho firelight's
gleams
As tho (lancing shades go by.
Ah, sniooth Is tho rlvor for such as
thoy
Who've novor a pain nor caro;
Its ripple's aro singing n roundolay
For their vlsiqns bright and fair.
Two dream with smiles, one dreams
with sigh
Dorothy, Rona, and I.
Thoy dream of a fulurola golden sloro
Far down on tho river's sido, "
"Whero tho shining sands of tho lovo
lit shore
Aro their playgrounds clean and
wide.
I dream of days that will no'or return
From out of tho vanished yoars; .
And my dreaming oyes feel tho acho
and burn
Of a dreamer's unshed tears. . -Two
dream with smiles, ono dreams
with sigh -Dorothy,
Rona, and I. "
So wo drift along on tho. low wave
crost, Dorothy, Rona and I.
Their dear heads pillowed upon my
breast
As tho dancing shadcsfio by.
And dreaming I wake and I fix my
gazo
On their smiles and clinging curls;
Thon bade to dream of tho future days
"Of lovo Willi my baby girls.
And threo dream joy as tho moments
fly
Dorothy, Rona, and I.
Economy.
"Qeo, I wisht I wus as luclcy as dat
blolto."
"What's do matter wid him?"
.
'Say, dat feller's 'got money t'
"l...nn n
VIII lit
'"'i
"Huh! Dat ain't luck.:Dat's econ
omy."
&-.
VI
.v 1v
- Support, . .
'i uiougnt'ru urop in anu givo you
a personal about my sister being horo
ou a visit," remarked Mr. D'Heddo to
tho editor of tho Hawvillo Clarion.
"I think wo ought to support our lo
cal papers all wo can.''
"Much obliged, I'm sure," murmured
Editor Scribblem.
"Don't mention It," exclaimed Mr
D'Hoddo as ho picked up tho latest
exchanges and disappeared, forgetting
to pay tho $7.94 back subscription ho
owed.
Opportune,
Tho star reclined in her easy chair,
a look of deepest concern upon her
brow.
"Business is bad," sho sighed.
"Awful," murmured tho press agent.
"What have you beon doing to at
tract attention to mo?" queried tho
star.
"Madam, I am at tho ond of my re
sources. Tho newspapers rofuso to
stand for my diamond robberies, your
divorco suit was a failure as an ad
vertisement, your wardrobe won't got
us space and tho milk bath and poc
dog dodges aro too aged and decrepit. '
Tho star thought for an hour. Sud
denly her faco was wreathed in smiles.
Why not work up a story about
some wretch stealing tho anthracite
tiara and necklace tho Prince D'Fake
vlllo gave mo?"
With a shriek of joy tho press agent
seized his hat and fled in' the direction
of Nowspaper row.
Yet there aro those who refuse to
credit "woman with the inventive
faculty.
, Historic.
3R
"Are there any historic. "spots in
this vicinity?" queried tho tourist.
"Well, mum, right over thero by
that tree Bill Jorkins onco had a
pile of coal that weighed purty nigh
two ton."
Orcat Scheme.
"I've got tho best of tho fuel trou
ble, now."
"Plow's that? Manage to get a tori
or two of coal?"
"Nope. When I,. begin to shiver I
just think of how tho coal combine is
trying to hold mo up and it makes mo
hot."
The Reason.
I used to lovo to sit and gazo
. At pictures in the fire,
But that was in the bygone days
Wny is it? you inquire.
It is, if answer-you I must,
Because I'm in a plight
I am the victimnof the trust,
And coal is out of- sight
Too Previous.
Standing upon tho banks , of the
Rubicon, Caesar paused in perplexity.
"How shall wo cross yon raging
stream?" ho asked-of Cassius.
"It would bo an easy matter., to play
bridge if we didn't have to wait a few
centuries for some ono to invent
cards," replied Cassius.
Without more adieu Caesar rushed
into the raging torrent and waded
across.
Why do you ask that question?
Little Ethel-"0, I heard papa tell
ing sister at the supper table that if
she didn't land you tonight there d
bo no more heat in the parlor this
winter."
" " ' . .
The Patriot.
Ho talked of the nation's "honor,"
And its credit unimpaired;
And to make all dollars qual
He most fervently declared.
And for "confidence" ho shouted
Through tho whole gamut of
stood off his washerwoman
For another seven weeks.
Sprinjr.
Soon spring will try to pipe her lays.
Upon her melancholy lute;
The swell young man will try to raise
The price of one plaid golfing suit.
Versatile.
"Biggs is the ablest diplomat I ever
met"
"How has ho proved it?"
"Biggs can frame the same excuse
in seven different ways and make it
go every time."
An Unfailing Remedy.
"Doctor, I suffer !?&uuiiyfrom
insomnia. Is there any relief for me?"
"My dear sir, u.d you ever try read
ing those republican measures for
curbing the trusts?"
Checkautcd.
Having intercepted her lover's let
ters .in order .to make her believe she
has been deserted, tho crafty villain
approaches. ' ;'
"Ha, fair maiden," ho hissed, "fly
with- me." '..
"Impossible!" sho shrieked." " '
fAnd why impossible?"
"Because tho airship-has not yet
been invented !" - J
"Foiled," hissed tho bad man, thrust
ing his fingers into-liis ears to shut out
the haughty "ha-ha" of tho fleeing
maiden. to
Modern Definition.
University An excuse for hoisting
the prico of oil.
Profit sharing Dust thrown in the
eyes of the public.
Tariff reform A political ping-pong
gam played by republicans.
Community of interest Dividing tho
swag. "
Shackles Obs. See strenuous.
Stronuous-Obs. See shackles.
Reciprocity-Getting something for
?ow l5fow I"11 letUng th 0th( fel"
lZlotcZlAn eSeu8e f0r
Thoe Dear Chlldrea.
tytlle Ethel "Do you live In the
water like a fish, Mr. Sloman?"
Mr. Sloman (waiting for Ethel's sis
ter to, appear)-"No; my little dear.
The Humorous Mr. Knox.
With 'my good old meerschaum pipe,
With its fragrance rich and ripe, -And
some anti-trust tobacco in the
box,
I can read till out o' breath,
Laughin' purt' nigh half t' death
At the funny motions made by Mr.
Knox.
Through th' wreathin' blue of smoke
I appreciate th' joke
When Philander says he is ag'in th-'
trust.
At each Knoxian paragraph
I jus' have t' Btop an' laugh
Till I'm sheered that I am likely f r
t' bust.
Ab a jokesmith, I'd explain
He is better than Mark Twain,
And he jokes with such a solemncoly
phiz
That you read 'em o'er an' o'er
While you chuckle an' you roar,
And declare there ain't no humor such
as his.
Talk about Dave Harum Shaw
Makin' Washington haw-haw,
As a funny man he isn't one-two-threo
With my friend, Philander K,
When he's feelinr' blithe an' gay ,
And as funny as he well knows how
t' be.
Aa u combine joker Phil
Will completely fill th' bill;
None can equal dear Philander by a
half.
But thero's one thing that disgusts
When he jokes about th' trusts
We have got ' pay too dearly f'r our
laugh.
i i
Brain Leaks.
When faith leaves fear enters in.
Tho graying Christian is never in
doubt.
By the ladder of hope men climb to
higher things.
A written word may be erased, a
spoken word never.
A weak faith Is a poor foundation
for a high hope.
The loudest prayer usually reaches
the shortest distance;
A loi oI people a SP conscientious
that they never lejt their left hand
All Sick Ones
Get My Help When They
Ask It.
It is waiting for you. .
Just write a postal stating which
book you need and I will gladly do
this: , ; , .
. I will mall you an order good at
any drug store for six bottles Dr.
Shoop's Restorative. You may. take
it a month on trial. If it succeeds,
the cost is $5.50. If it fails, I will pay,
the druggist myself and your mere
word shall decide it
I know how other treatments have
failed with you. I know how the sick
got discouraged. So I don't argue my,
claims. I simply ask you to try my,
way at my risk, and let tho remedy it
sol f convince vou.
JVIy records show that 39 out of each
40 pay for the treatment gladly, be-,
cause they are cured. Not a penny ia
wanted from the rest
I have spent a lifetime in learning
how to strengthen weak inside nerves.
My Restorative brings back that .pow
er which alone operates the vital or
gans. I treat a weak organ as I would
a weak engine, by giving it the power
to act. My way always succeeds, savo
when a cause like cancer makes a
cure impossible. And most of these
chronic diseases cannot be cured with
out it.
You'll know this when you read my,
book. -
Simply state which
book you want, and
addre8n Dr. Sboop,
Box 615 Eacino, Wi.
Mild cases, not chronic, aro often cured by
ono or two bottles. At all druggbtB.
took no. i ok BTsrersu
BOOK HO. t OK T7II HXART.
root ho. s on tux kidnx
book no. ron vtomxh.
BOOK 0. 6 FOR MM. (wale
book no. c on iuuouatibx
know that their right hand does noth
ing. A smile in thb'hohle is worth"-twd
at the office. ' ' -,
Some men become lost by undertak
ing a short cut" to duty.
No man's heart is big enough to
harbor both love and greed.
People who mind their own businesa
find it an ever increasing duty.
When fencing evil out of the heart
be careful not to fence the good in.
Attacking error with a feather is aa
unsatisfactory as eating bean soun
with a fork.
Quite aPlot of. people are only rude
when .they think they are blunt 'and
straightforward.' '' . '
A widow's tear, in the scales'wil!
outweigh anv donatim? nnm 4wm
the people's needs.
Tho world judges us by what we ac
complish; God judges us. by what we
strive earnestly to do. ;'
A whole lot of people love to sing-
"Rock of ages cleft for me" if they"
can eniov a sofflv miRiiirmn,i w-,vi.
doing it. 1,OVT Y""
If some men would put more prin
ciple into politics. they would not talk'
have "in1 it131 the ema11 forest they,
A Bunch of Troubl.
The Philippine islands are-a bunch
of trouble, sure enough. During, tho
last year 100,000 people have died
5Srlfthe plague and $30,000.?
000 worth of cattle have been Wiled by
nfflHri!ldflerpest At leaat these are the
ofoOM&f' An? we gave $20,
000,000 for the combination, with sev
eral hundred million thrown in ?or
good measurement to say nothing of
the soldiers killed in war and by dis
ease. Surely the national admHUsSS:
Sfr SJ trbif an,d GXpen9e "P
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