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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 1903)
E&m&xa iMiwWMPMUMiMWyyCTjBiiMWM ii urn hi miymiia;ffyri 'ii'ii jja w nnrwMiw ' TiTWX The Commoner. 1V0L. 3, No. i, r. v if TrWI'Wll IO t ' t h ... i 8- ,..i pf, ?s&: t V: f , Three Dreamers. iWe.'ro drifting along on the River Dreams, Dorothy, Rona and I. ,,,,, iWo'rc -guided aright by tho firelight's gleams As tho (lancing shades go by. Ah, sniooth Is tho rlvor for such as thoy Who've novor a pain nor caro; Its ripple's aro singing n roundolay For their vlsiqns bright and fair. Two dream with smiles, one dreams with sigh Dorothy, Rona, and I. Thoy dream of a fulurola golden sloro Far down on tho river's sido, " "Whero tho shining sands of tho lovo lit shore Aro their playgrounds clean and wide. I dream of days that will no'or return From out of tho vanished yoars; . And my dreaming oyes feel tho acho and burn Of a dreamer's unshed tears. . -Two dream with smiles, ono dreams with sigh -Dorothy, Rona, and I. " So wo drift along on tho. low wave crost, Dorothy, Rona and I. Their dear heads pillowed upon my breast As tho dancing shadcsfio by. And dreaming I wake and I fix my gazo On their smiles and clinging curls; Thon bade to dream of tho future days "Of lovo Willi my baby girls. And threo dream joy as tho moments fly Dorothy, Rona, and I. Economy. "Qeo, I wisht I wus as luclcy as dat blolto." "What's do matter wid him?" . 'Say, dat feller's 'got money t' "l...nn n VIII lit '"'i "Huh! Dat ain't luck.:Dat's econ omy." &-. VI .v 1v - Support, . . 'i uiougnt'ru urop in anu givo you a personal about my sister being horo ou a visit," remarked Mr. D'Heddo to tho editor of tho Hawvillo Clarion. "I think wo ought to support our lo cal papers all wo can.'' "Much obliged, I'm sure," murmured Editor Scribblem. "Don't mention It," exclaimed Mr D'Hoddo as ho picked up tho latest exchanges and disappeared, forgetting to pay tho $7.94 back subscription ho owed. Opportune, Tho star reclined in her easy chair, a look of deepest concern upon her brow. "Business is bad," sho sighed. "Awful," murmured tho press agent. "What have you beon doing to at tract attention to mo?" queried tho star. "Madam, I am at tho ond of my re sources. Tho newspapers rofuso to stand for my diamond robberies, your divorco suit was a failure as an ad vertisement, your wardrobe won't got us space and tho milk bath and poc dog dodges aro too aged and decrepit. ' Tho star thought for an hour. Sud denly her faco was wreathed in smiles. Why not work up a story about some wretch stealing tho anthracite tiara and necklace tho Prince D'Fake vlllo gave mo?" With a shriek of joy tho press agent seized his hat and fled in' the direction of Nowspaper row. Yet there aro those who refuse to credit "woman with the inventive faculty. , Historic. 3R "Are there any historic. "spots in this vicinity?" queried tho tourist. "Well, mum, right over thero by that tree Bill Jorkins onco had a pile of coal that weighed purty nigh two ton." Orcat Scheme. "I've got tho best of tho fuel trou ble, now." "Plow's that? Manage to get a tori or two of coal?" "Nope. When I,. begin to shiver I just think of how tho coal combine is trying to hold mo up and it makes mo hot." The Reason. I used to lovo to sit and gazo . At pictures in the fire, But that was in the bygone days Wny is it? you inquire. It is, if answer-you I must, Because I'm in a plight I am the victimnof the trust, And coal is out of- sight Too Previous. Standing upon tho banks , of the Rubicon, Caesar paused in perplexity. "How shall wo cross yon raging stream?" ho asked-of Cassius. "It would bo an easy matter., to play bridge if we didn't have to wait a few centuries for some ono to invent cards," replied Cassius. Without more adieu Caesar rushed into the raging torrent and waded across. Why do you ask that question? Little Ethel-"0, I heard papa tell ing sister at the supper table that if she didn't land you tonight there d bo no more heat in the parlor this winter." " " ' . . The Patriot. Ho talked of the nation's "honor," And its credit unimpaired; And to make all dollars qual He most fervently declared. And for "confidence" ho shouted Through tho whole gamut of stood off his washerwoman For another seven weeks. Sprinjr. Soon spring will try to pipe her lays. Upon her melancholy lute; The swell young man will try to raise The price of one plaid golfing suit. Versatile. "Biggs is the ablest diplomat I ever met" "How has ho proved it?" "Biggs can frame the same excuse in seven different ways and make it go every time." An Unfailing Remedy. "Doctor, I suffer !?&uuiiyfrom insomnia. Is there any relief for me?" "My dear sir, u.d you ever try read ing those republican measures for curbing the trusts?" Checkautcd. Having intercepted her lover's let ters .in order .to make her believe she has been deserted, tho crafty villain approaches. ' ;' "Ha, fair maiden," ho hissed, "fly with- me." '.. "Impossible!" sho shrieked." " ' fAnd why impossible?" "Because tho airship-has not yet been invented !" - J "Foiled," hissed tho bad man, thrust ing his fingers into-liis ears to shut out the haughty "ha-ha" of tho fleeing maiden. to Modern Definition. University An excuse for hoisting the prico of oil. Profit sharing Dust thrown in the eyes of the public. Tariff reform A political ping-pong gam played by republicans. Community of interest Dividing tho swag. " Shackles Obs. See strenuous. Stronuous-Obs. See shackles. Reciprocity-Getting something for ?ow l5fow I"11 letUng th 0th( fel" lZlotcZlAn eSeu8e f0r Thoe Dear Chlldrea. tytlle Ethel "Do you live In the water like a fish, Mr. Sloman?" Mr. Sloman (waiting for Ethel's sis ter to, appear)-"No; my little dear. The Humorous Mr. Knox. With 'my good old meerschaum pipe, With its fragrance rich and ripe, -And some anti-trust tobacco in the box, I can read till out o' breath, Laughin' purt' nigh half t' death At the funny motions made by Mr. Knox. Through th' wreathin' blue of smoke I appreciate th' joke When Philander says he is ag'in th-' trust. At each Knoxian paragraph I jus' have t' Btop an' laugh Till I'm sheered that I am likely f r t' bust. Ab a jokesmith, I'd explain He is better than Mark Twain, And he jokes with such a solemncoly phiz That you read 'em o'er an' o'er While you chuckle an' you roar, And declare there ain't no humor such as his. Talk about Dave Harum Shaw Makin' Washington haw-haw, As a funny man he isn't one-two-threo With my friend, Philander K, When he's feelinr' blithe an' gay , And as funny as he well knows how t' be. Aa u combine joker Phil Will completely fill th' bill; None can equal dear Philander by a half. But thero's one thing that disgusts When he jokes about th' trusts We have got ' pay too dearly f'r our laugh. i i Brain Leaks. When faith leaves fear enters in. Tho graying Christian is never in doubt. By the ladder of hope men climb to higher things. A written word may be erased, a spoken word never. A weak faith Is a poor foundation for a high hope. The loudest prayer usually reaches the shortest distance; A loi oI people a SP conscientious that they never lejt their left hand All Sick Ones Get My Help When They Ask It. It is waiting for you. . Just write a postal stating which book you need and I will gladly do this: , ; , . . I will mall you an order good at any drug store for six bottles Dr. Shoop's Restorative. You may. take it a month on trial. If it succeeds, the cost is $5.50. If it fails, I will pay, the druggist myself and your mere word shall decide it I know how other treatments have failed with you. I know how the sick got discouraged. So I don't argue my, claims. I simply ask you to try my, way at my risk, and let tho remedy it sol f convince vou. JVIy records show that 39 out of each 40 pay for the treatment gladly, be-, cause they are cured. Not a penny ia wanted from the rest I have spent a lifetime in learning how to strengthen weak inside nerves. My Restorative brings back that .pow er which alone operates the vital or gans. I treat a weak organ as I would a weak engine, by giving it the power to act. My way always succeeds, savo when a cause like cancer makes a cure impossible. And most of these chronic diseases cannot be cured with out it. You'll know this when you read my, book. - Simply state which book you want, and addre8n Dr. Sboop, Box 615 Eacino, Wi. Mild cases, not chronic, aro often cured by ono or two bottles. At all druggbtB. took no. i ok BTsrersu BOOK HO. t OK T7II HXART. root ho. s on tux kidnx book no. ron vtomxh. BOOK 0. 6 FOR MM. (wale book no. c on iuuouatibx know that their right hand does noth ing. A smile in thb'hohle is worth"-twd at the office. ' ' -, Some men become lost by undertak ing a short cut" to duty. No man's heart is big enough to harbor both love and greed. People who mind their own businesa find it an ever increasing duty. When fencing evil out of the heart be careful not to fence the good in. Attacking error with a feather is aa unsatisfactory as eating bean soun with a fork. Quite aPlot of. people are only rude when .they think they are blunt 'and straightforward.' '' . ' A widow's tear, in the scales'wil! outweigh anv donatim? nnm 4wm the people's needs. Tho world judges us by what we ac complish; God judges us. by what we strive earnestly to do. ;' A whole lot of people love to sing- "Rock of ages cleft for me" if they" can eniov a sofflv miRiiirmn,i w-,vi. doing it. 1,OVT Y"" If some men would put more prin ciple into politics. they would not talk' have "in1 it131 the ema11 forest they, A Bunch of Troubl. The Philippine islands are-a bunch of trouble, sure enough. During, tho last year 100,000 people have died 5Srlfthe plague and $30,000.? 000 worth of cattle have been Wiled by nfflHri!ldflerpest At leaat these are the ofoOM&f' An? we gave $20, 000,000 for the combination, with sev eral hundred million thrown in ?or good measurement to say nothing of the soldiers killed in war and by dis ease. Surely the national admHUsSS: Sfr SJ trbif an,d GXpen9e "P ttppfl (Mo.) GlolJeT U 0aC I M VS X ' I ' . i j t M tl'J? 1 1-M