4 '
The Commoner.
IO
Vol. a, No. 5 1.
s'dli5fIllmoil(,r
The Greatest Hero;
Here's a song for the man, the strong-
, liearted man
Who whistles and smiles through tho
hours of the day;
Who sets a high standard, does all
that he can,
And scatters bright sunshine along
his life's way.
Wo sing of tho heroes on war's
bloody field
Who faltered not, facing tho battle's
grim test,
But here is a song for tlio.man who
Svon't yield r
In every-day life, but keeps doing
his best. ,-
Wo sing of tho man who, behind tho
grim gun,
Brave, steady and true, with unfalt
ering aim,
For country and flag greater glory
has won,
And honor by cheering tho sound
of his name.
But here is a cheer for tho man bravo
and true
Whose patient endeavor knows nev
er a rest;
Who cheerfully labors, ne'er downcast,
or blue,
And brightens the world just by do
ing his best
- i .
Wo cheer when they mention the man
of huge wealth
Who builds ornate temples of mor
tar and stone
With millions secured by a legalized
stealth,
A'nd gives them away that his name
may be known.
But where is the cheer for the brave
man and true
'To whom fortune never has come as
a guest?
Who, humble and honest, is hidden
- from view,
But' never gives up, and keeps do
ing his best?
We've honored the heroes of sword
and of gun
Who vanquished the foe by their
valorous deeds;
CWe'vo cheered tho gold kings who
their millions have won
By profits they've wrung from their
fellowmen's needs.
.. So now let us cheer with our utter
most might
The king of them alj who, four
square to each test,
Brave, humble, unknown, with his
face to tho light
Keeps pegging away and is doing
his best.
A Little Fable.
WHEREIN IS RELATED IN HALT
ING RHYME THE EXPERI
ENCES OP A MAN WHO
THOUGHT IT A SNAP TO KEEP
HOUSE.
John Kicker thought his work was
tough, and that his wife had not
enough; that while ho worked the
live-Jong day his wife had ample rime
for play; that while he labored hard
and long, her life was one sweet wave
of song. , .From early dawn till even
ing late he growled at what he called
hard fate."
One day his wife said, "Dearest
John my work is very hard upon
my feeble strength; I wish you
lood gwwA SOrVant girl -hat'G
good. What, ydu need help?" said
John, amazed, as on his better half he
gazed; "Jehosophat! .Why, woman, I
could do your work and not half try."
"Perhaps," said Mrs. Kicker, while
across her face there chased a smile;
"perhaps, but I'm inclined to think
my work would make you take to
drink." John sniffed in a disgusted
way and then unthinkingly did say:
"Tomorrow leave your work to me;
I'll do it up in one, two, three." '
"All right," said Mrs. Kicker, "I'll
go visit mother for a while. Tomor
row I will leave to you the babe to
tend, the work to do." "Agreed," said
John. "Go early, dear; I'll do the
work, so never fear." So at the rosy
dawn of day his wife dressed up and
slipped away.
Jphn Kicker slept until a scream
aroused him from a pleasant dream.
It was the baby, and It cried for
malted milk and lots beside. And
while John walked the frosty 'floo'
and to himself ho loudly swore, he
managed something to piovido to fill
the baby up inside.
And then he had to dress tho rest
while breakfast like a snail pro
gressed. He rouldn't make the coal
ignite, and not a single thing went
right. The ham that Kicker tried to
fry burned to a crisp; the grease would
fly, and scattered o'er his face and
clothos and blistered both his face and
riose.
'He, found too late he liad forgot the
water for the coffee-pot; potatoes
burned until the. smoke made Kicker
gasp and sneeze and choke; the toast
ing bread remained unturned until to
cinders it had burned; the red hot
skillet burned his liand until he howled
to beat the band.
The breakfast o'er then John, moro
cool, began to dress the kids for
school. Pins pierced his fingers
through and through and John yelled
till the air was blue. Try as he would
clothes wouldn't fit, and John was get
ting sick or it. He piled the dishes in
a stack, then swept until he sprained
his back.
He tried to make the beds. " His feet
tore ragged holes in ev'ry sheet. Ho
tried to wash the dishes, too, and
broke all but a very few. He stepped
outside the kitchen door and babe
spilled syrup on the floor "Dear vvi'te!"
he shrieked, "please hurry Tmck; I'm
very near a maniac!"
When Mrs. Kicker came at noon
she found John crazy as a loon. The
house was fairly upside down; John
soot and grease from sole to crown,
the baby had turned on the gas and
broke the halltree looking glass. And
Mrs. Kicker sat beside her John and
laughed until she cried.
"Well, John," she said, "you've
tried it now; how do you like it, any-
uowi auu tninu you that my work
is play, or have you changed your
mind loday?" John gaze-1 upon her,
hollow-eyed, and in a trembling voice
replied: "Dear, do you think one
girl will do, or,skould I try to employ
two?"
MORAL.
When 'husbands get' too bloomin' gay
Just let them do your work a day.
dicker for tho uso of a pair of skates.
Adjusting them upon his feet the el
derly gentleman struck out upon the
frozen surface.
Contrary to expectations he did not
fall once, but cut several fancy pigeon
wings that made tho small boys look.'
on with envy.
t
She was a very pompous woman,
dressed in furs and wearing large and
glistening diamonds in her ears. With
an arrogant air she directed the coach
man to stop at the curb and wait fo"
her until she returned.
Right where the door of the carriage
stopped the pavement wa1 a glare of
ice. This fact was not noticed by the
pompouB woman, and wher she alight
ed from her carriage her feot struck
the icy glare.
Strange as it may seem she did
not slip nor fall, but tripped over tho
dangerous place without a quiver and
walked safely into the dry goods em
porium. For thirty years John Wantanip had
been a confirmed drinker, and the ef
fects of his dissipation were to bo
seen in his highly colored face, his
trembling hands and' his tottering
walk. On New Year's morning Want
anip decided that he wouid quit drink
ing liquor and made a pledge to that
effect.
He stuck it out for three days by
remaining at home where there was
nothing but water and coil'ee to drink
then wrapped up and started down
town. The awful demands of appetite
wracked his frail body and his ntom
ach was in horrible shape. Just one
drink of old Bourbon would make him
young again. As Wantanip came in
'sight of the corner saloon his weak
heart gave a throb, his feet uncon
sciously hurried him forward towards
the welcoming door and an over
whelming desire swept through his
mind. He hurried forward until the
saloon door was reached.
You may not believe it, but John
Wantanip never turned his head. He
hurried on down the street, secured
his mail and returned home without
taking a single "smile."
(
When Nick O'Tyne arose on Christ
mas morning he saw a flat, oblong
package lying beside his breakfast
plate. As he gazed his heart sank
within "him, for he recognized the
signs. Only a cigar box could look
like that, and no one but Mrs. O'Tyne
would give him a box of cigars for a
Christmas present
Forcing a smile to his face he
opened the package and found a
handsomely decorated box full of ci
gars, positive tnat they were "ropes"
he pretended to be delighted, and af
ter breakfast lit one and began puff
ing great clouds of smoke towards the
celling.
Of course you will be disappomte.l
because you were positive that this
time the cigars were really good.
They were not They were the worst
that Nick O'Tyne over smoked.
Strange Happenings.
Tho elderly man of ample propor
tions stood upon the bank of the creek
and watched tho boys skating thereon.
"I used to bo a good skater," mused
the man. "I believe I'll try it once
more, oven if I am getting old and a
littlo stiff." a
Calling a good-sized youth to his
side tho elderly gentleman made a
Two Men.
Who is that man who drives along
As If he-had the dumps?
Why, that's our milkman and the cold
Has frozen up his pumps.
And yonder man who walks along
With light and happy soul?
Why, he's a big aristocrat
He's got a ton of coall
Different.
"Funny thing happened to mo
Christmas." .
"Tell mo about it." v
"Well, my wife didn't know just
what to get mo for a Christmas pres
sont, so as a last resort she bought me
a box of cigars, andsay, it makes me
laugh to think of itha! ha! ha!"
"Well, I don't see anything funny
Say--"Scnd Help"
And I'll Sencflt.
No money is wanted just a postal.
Tell mo the book you need.
I will mail you an order good at
any drug store for six bottles Dr.
Shoop's Restorative. You make take
it a month on trial. If it succeeds, the
cost is $5.50. If it fails, I will pay
the druggist myself and your mere
word shall decide it.
Don't think I can't cure because oth
ers have failed. I have a way that no
other man knows. Let the remedy it
self convince you.
At least you know this: If I failed
very often the offer would ruin me.
No sick one need pay, if ho cannot
pay gladly; yot 39 out of each 40 pay.
If you need help, don't wrong
yourself by waiting. My way is al
most sure. It will certainly cure any
case that is curable.
I have spent a lifetime in learning
how to strengthen weak inside nerves.
My Restorative brings back that pow
er which alone operates tho vital or
gans. I treat a weak organ as I would
a weak engine, by. giving it the power
to act. My way always succeeds, save
when a cause like cancer makes a euro
impossible. And most of these chron
ic diseases cannot be cured without it
You'll know this when you read my
book.
Simply stnto which
book you want, and
nddrcBB Dr. Shoop,
Box 515 Hucino, Wis.
Mid cases, not chronic, nro often cured by
one or two bottles. At all druBgiBts.
took no. i on DTsrrrsiA
BOOK KO. 2 OK THE HEART.
TOOK NO. C ON THE KIUNETB.
EOOK KO. 4 TOn V OMEN.
EOOK NO. 6 Hill MEN. (itilxL)
COOK NO. t ON UIIEUMATISU
about your wife getting you a box of
cigars for a present."
"You don't? Well, the funny part is
ha! ha! ha!"
"That she paid, a big price for 'em
and they are not fit to smoke."
"No; that's where you are wrong.
They're tho finest cigars I ever smoked
in my life. That's what makes it so
funny."
Sure Sign.
"I guess Ranter is not making much
of a success on the stage." -
"What makes you think so?"
"He's been at it for ten years now
and he still has his name printed in
capital letters in tho house programs."
Brain Leaks.
Some men never know they have a
heart untir something hurts it.
Only one thing Is easier than mak
ing a good resolution breaking it.
Thero are men who rejoice in notor
iety because they imagine it to bo
fame.
The days are growing longer, but
that promissory note will mature just
as quickly.
Heaven will bo enjoyed most by
those who endeavor to secure a bit of
it while here on earth.
Some "men never feel charitably in
clined until they discover something
they can give away without discom
moding themselves.
One of tho Sufferers. '
Woman of tho House "What! You
one of the Venezuelan sufferers? You
don't' talk like a foreigner."
Ruffron Wratts "No, ma'am. I'm
not a furriner. I'm an Amerikin.
But I've had several spells of despon
dency over them troubles down thar,
ma'am." Chicago Tribune.
j
TO OUKU A COLD IN ONK DAY
Take Laxative 13romo-Oiilnhin Tablets. This
ulgnatutoJg'fft g, on erory boi 25o.
&MM-
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