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The Commoner.
10
Vol. a, No. 49.
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A Long Time Ago.
This "world power" business is causing us . voe,
Don't you know. '' ' ' '::
It's hard on the doctrine laid down by Monroe.
And that's so.
In days that are gone no time would we was,tc; !"'
The land-grabbing nations would quickly be chased
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From this hemisphere with the greatestof haste -
But that was a long time ago..
Brave Stephen Decatur, in long vanished years
At Algiers, '
Toward the bold pirates see, swiftly he steers!
Amid cheers.
But we've changed the methods, and-now. we .-pursue '-so-
A course that is wrong, and fr.r L'neJnSam newp-. v.. ,
We pension rank robbers like those in Sulu
And the sultan our Hag loudly jeers.
This "manifest destiny" 'bout Which we blow,1. '
Don't you know, .?-
Means holes in the doctrine laid down by Monroe, ,.
And that's so. ."",
Once we could remark with Our words ringing ciearr
"You monarchs of Europe, up anchor and steer'-' .''",. t
Away from our sisters in this hemisphere-',' . '-: , ; ,r t
But that was a long time ago.
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Our forefathers brave fought for justice and right,
With their might. " ;.,
And after the gloom of a long weary night
Saw. the,- light
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.7,21! down . foundation
And"for greed and empire we
For freedom and
they patiently wrouit;gir4:V;''
fe've schemed and wevlf6uglit, ' - i
And laughed to scorn Libertyfe, plli&tf "" - "
justice we once struck a hlowWtiJ.fcfL.''T'u
As you know." f ' " ' ';$?' 'T
And Liberty's torch, o'er the world shed its ;glowf U 5,-;
. ' And thats ro: . " ;r$Wi "' -Lv
For rights that are equal wje1 once took
And denounced the vile habit. p ,graljbip
To sister republics we gave the glad hand.hi: frtr
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' But that Was 'a long Umago: ' ' &'', ,' :l Z '.
This "thrown. in our laps" is a species of graft feif,: ' -
And of craft. - -i-
At Which our'forefatliers so SQorn"flly laughed :'?:)' K..n .k 'A
Loud, and chatted. - -t- i'.wimk,i.oim .
Once we could boast loudly, "The starry l'flagv'racanB,i "' 3,i
Equality, freedom and right in all scenes, ' 'TrSt" iVt. ,,'
But now that we've grabbed off Ihjj far Philippines.. ........
It seems that on "empiro"-we're daft.
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Once we could stand Arm by the words bf 'Moiirjib,'
As you know. -,.
And tp back them up bravely we never .were slow.
And that's so. '
Once we never mixed in monarchical schemes,
And visions of empire ne'er troubled our dreams,
But, judged by events that are recent, it seems
That that was a long (,Ime ago.
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"He gave his affianced an engage
ment ring for a Christmas present"
"Well, what's that got to do with his
profession?"
"The ring was sheer paste.'.'
Justified.
"What makes Richleigh walk so
proudly this morning?"
"Santa Claus put a pint- of coal in
his stocking Christmas."
Overlooked Some thins:. '
She wandered down the broad church
aisle
Just as she schemed ten minutes
-late.
A dangling cloak tag aised a smile:
"Great Bargain. Price $5.98."
A Plain Case.
"Your honor, there can-Jie no doubt
about this man's insanity."
"What grounds have you for mak
ing that statement?" ,
"Why, your honor, the -poor man has
twin sons, and on Christmas he gave
each of them a drum and a tin horn."
Heartl5B.
Knott A. Ck?yne "This" is' a1 mean'
an' crbol worlp, pal."
Broken Flatte "Wot's de ineanin' o
dis pessimism Knotty?" '
Knott A. Coyne "I struck a bloke
for somethln' t' celebrate Chris'mas
wid an' he grinned an' give me a box
o' cigars w'at his wife had 'give him."
Kismet. . ,
Hushed the sound of' mirth and
laughter,
Dimmed the waves -tapers' light;
It is how the morning after v
And the nursery floor's 'a sight -Papa
ne'er a word has spoken 1
Since the morning meal was through,
For the Christmas toys are brolcen:'
And tne bills are coining due-
brain Leak.
It's, a waste of time to pray for, any
thing youi will not work for. ,
The value of a gift dep'ends alto
gether upon the spirit of the giver.
You can't play with monarchy with-
out losing respect for liberty. .
'Some men are like trolley cars1
they stop when, the central power
plant shuts down. ' ' m :
Because they cannot eradicate ppv-,s
erty some, men refuse -to give a hungry .
man a bowl of soupr ,. . ? t -
There IsJ? something' wrong Wi'th the '
tieart of the. man who neglects warm
ing the bridleb its' these frosty morn-
About .the greatest case of s.ejf-de-
ception is that, of the man who dyes his
whiskers and, imagines that nobody
knows it.
It's easy for a boy to forget about
the kindlings, but he never forgets to
hang up his stocking the night be
fore Qhristmas.
The right kind of a father always
gets a receipt in .full for all Christmas
mpney expended when he hears the
happy shouts of his children.
Will M. Maupin.
a certain other creature of the water
which I have In mind. In your column
you make the claim, in today's issue,
that the well-known terrapin is unique
in having its name spelled correctly
in as many as live different ways. If
you wish to become acquainted with
a creature which far surpasses the
terrapin in this respect, please look
up 'maskalonge' in the Century dis
tionary, p. 3C46. I fear your terrapin
will have to hide its diminished head,
so far as multitudinous spelling is
concerned, when it comes to compare
notes with what I have been accus
tomed to call muscalong'e. By refer
ence to the dictionary you ivill find
tlat there are nearly two dozen differ
ent ways of spelling 'maskalonge,' and
I am Inclined tp. think' that this inter
esting member has the record in tliia
respect," .. , . ; f
And here, is what 4 the dictionary
shows-. V'.' ' . t
Maskalonge. ' ...'",,.,
Mascalonge.
Maskunge.rT 'J
Muscalonge.".'
Muskalonge.
Musltajinge., ;
Moskalonge. T"
. 'Masquallonge,.
. Maskallonge.r ,
Muskellunge.'
Masq allonge. ,
Mascallonge.
Moscononge.- :
Maskinonge .
Maskanonge. ,
Maskenonge
Masque longe.
Maskenozha.', .
, Maskininoje. .
Here are nineteen ways of; spelling
the name, of this kind of pile. Besides
there is the mascalongus, a subgenus
of pike. . The .wtord masquallojige sim
ulates , the French mosque allonewhiqh
means longiface. . t
:' ; .;:''. -"ii? V -"
Orcat Scberae.
"Mr. Cumso has got a great head."
"What makes you think so?"
"He attached a cyclometer to the
Bnow shovel and gives his son a dime
every time "he scores a century."
True If Not Rhyme.
An esteemed contemporary rejoices
because, as it claims, there is no rhyme
for "Monroe doctrine." The mere fact
1
that the aforesaid esteemed contempo
rary is an administration' organ proves
that it is wrong.
And here's the proof: . .
The Monroe doctrine
Was lately knocked in.
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Profefl.ilonhj. ,
"Wrlterly can never, forgot that he
is an editorial writer." 1 '
IITTfl 1 .
I yyuei'b ne oeen doing now?"
"
Spelled Nineteen Ways. '
The New Orleans Times-Democrat
has the following in regard to the
spelling of the word Muskalonge. Those
who have tried to catch the fish will
probably attribute their failure to their
lack of knowledge of orthography.
They didn't spell It right and the fish
Wouldn't bite. The Times-Democrat
says: -
"If the terrapin has only five ways
ip. which to spell his name," said an
J observant man, "he cannot copo with
.
A Suggestion.
. Of course the natives of the Phll
ipines have been charged with some
inhuman -practices, but would it not
be well to recall the troops, for a .time
and le;them,!dpBrate. against the coal
operators of Pennsylvania? Joplin
(Mp.) Globe. . 1 - .
, r. THINK IlAltll
ItJJayao.Tblnk; About Food
...Th.. unthiijlung life" some people
Jead often causes trouble and sickness
as illustrated in the experience oif a
.'lady who resides in Fppd Du Lac, Wis;
''About tfour years .ago I suffered
dreadfjilly frQm. indigestion, always
having, eaten -wbateyer I liked, not
thinking! of .the digestible qualities.
This indigestion caused palpitation of
the (heart ,so- ibadly Ii could not walk
up a fight of stairs without sitting
down once or- twice to regain breath
and strength. ,
I became alarmed and tried dieting,
wore my clothes very loos. and many
other remedies, but found no relief.
Hearing of the virtues of Grape
Nuts and Postum Food Coffee, I com
menced using them in place of my us
ual breakfast of coffee, cakes, or hot
biscuit, and in one week's time I was
relieved of sour stomach and other
ills attending indigestion. In a month's
time my heart was performing its
.functions naturally and I could climb
stairs and hills and walk long dis
tances. I gained ten pounds in this short
time and my Bkin became clear and
I completely regained my health and
strength. I continue to use Grape
Nuts and Postum for I feel I owe my
good health entirely to. their use. I
like the delicious flavor of Grape-Nuts
and by making Postum according to
directions, it cannot be distinguished
from the highest grade of coffee."
Name given by PostUm Co., Battle
Creek, Mich.
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