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The Commoner.
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Vol. a, No.' 4 5.
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The Old Cottage Orjjair.
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Wbtthw Cotnmott or Dot
Those grand, pianos are all right; thoy
mako a fino display, ;
'And long-haired men can play 'em In
an entertaining way,
They beat 'em and . they pourid 'em,
an,d wo glvo 'em hearty cheers,
A wishing while they do it wo had cot
ton in our ears.
,Wo flock to hoar their playing 'cause
the fashion's sot for us,
And . pretend we dearly love it and
kick up a classic fuss,
But all tho while we listen in our
hearts we softly pray
Wo could hear the cottage organ that
our mother used to play.
0, that little cottage organ with a bel
lows full of wheeze
And a screechy pair of pedals and its
yellow-tinted keys
It would make a poor appearance in
these days of much pretense,
But when you and me were youngsters
we looked on it as Immense.
And when evening shadows gathered
and the supper work was o'er
Mother'd play and lead the singing,
songs llko "Yonder Golden Shore,"
"Shall we meet beyond tho river,"
.."Land that's fairer than the day"
There was music in that organ when
bur mother used to play.
Brother Whit would take. the tenor,
father joining in the bass
Wifch a zeal that was inspiring and a
smilo upon his face,
Sister Kittle sang the alto she could
sing it like a bird
AJ those good old songs of Zion all
bif better natures stirred.
"Corr ntion," "Leominster,'' "Jesus,
f-viour, pilot me" ,
A!r !ie way my Saviour leads me"
'Till tho jasper walls I see."
"Savour hasten Thine appearing;
I ring. 0, bring, the glorious day"
You rould hear the music ringing when
our mother4 used to play.
Exhibitions of gymnastics on those I
keys we did not see,
Bt the music from that organ filled
our souls with melody.
And our feet would set to tapping
when she struck up "01' Zip Coon,"
"Money Musk" or "01' Dan Tucker," or
son- other rousing tune.
But before the old clock's striking said
... to bed "we all must go
Wo would stand In song a praising God
from whom all blessings flow.
That was music that was music, I
don't hesitate to say,
Coming from " that cottage organ when
our mother used to play.
I'm one of its greatest and best prod
ucts," murmured Heza Partisan. "I'm
about as cute as thoy mako Tem, and
don't you forget it."
As Heza Partisan walked along ho
was hailed by a mild looking gentle
man with a glad smile on his face.
"Uooa evening," said tno stranger.
- "Uood evening, sir," replied Heza.
r "I am somewhat puzzled as to my
whereabouts," said the stranger, "and
if you have no objections I will accom
pany you until I am sure that I know
whero I am."
"All right, sir," said Heza. "Come
right along." '
"Your name is " began the stranger.
"Heza Partisan," interrupted Heza
proudly. "And may I inquire your
name?"
"Certainly. My name is Prosperity
General Prosperity I am called be
cause of my strenuous record."
"I am indeed glad to see you. Gen
eral Prosperity. I qwo much' to you."
"Indeed! How is that, pray?"
"Well, General; I have a week'a
wages in my pocket, a gold watch and
chain, good clothes, a few select ar
ticles of jewelry and good credit at
the grocer's, although the latter has
become somewhat strained owing to
my salary being somewhat abbreviated
because of the prevailing high prices."
"I thank you for your opinion of
me," said the General. "Just now,
friend Heza, I'm a little short of ready
cash, and as I have a lot of campaign
bills to pay up perhaps you could loan
me your week's salary for a few days."
"I am sorry, General, but I am
pushed to the wall by creditors just
now, owing to, the recent startling inr
crease in prices and the stationary
wages I'm getting. I would let you
have it if I could, but"
Just then something less than 'steen
million stars dawned on Heza Parti
son's vision and something in tho
back part of his brain seemed to pari
with a snap. When, he recovered he
found himself arrayed in rags, his
purse missing, his jewelry non est and
the very shoes taken from his feet
Heza Partisan sat up, rubbed his
sore caput and tried to think. . At last
something dawned upon his vision..
"Ah. that General Prosperity."
MORAL.
If the con man don't get your money
one way he will another, unless you
refuse to listen to his palaver.
grain and thus did heavy profits gain.
Thoy added to John's bitter fate by
boosting up tho rate of freight, and
having Husker's hands' well tied thoy
robbed him clean on ev'ry side. "AlasT'
said John, "I'll nover stay at home
again election day!"
MORAL.
No kick is coming, friend, your way
If you don't vote election day.
.After Thanksgiving.
Cranberry sauce has vanished
And the cake has gone to smash,
But the crumbs are in the pudding
And tho turkey's, in the hash. "
By Proxy. v
"Remember what a fine girl Susie
Smart was?"
"Yes."
"Well, since- she married Swallow
she has fallen a victim to the liquor
habit
"Poor girl. How did sho come to
contract an appetite for strong drink?
She used to be such a stickler for to
tal abstinence."
"O, she never contracted the appo
tite. Her husband does the drinking. '
Those Dear Girls.
"Poor Fred'a voice actually trem
bled when he proposed to me."
"Yes, he told me he was scared al
most to death lest you discoyer that he
was -accustome i to usins: tha'. formula,"
Will M. Maupin.
Elastic Currency."
All this talk about elasticity in our
currency system is easy to explain. It
proposes that our currency system
should be like an accordion to be
pulled out when Wall street wants
-more money, and to be squeezed to
gether when Wall street wants to con
tract the money, forWall street wants
to play this -"elastic currency"
cordion. Columbus (0.) Press.
ac;
That Erie Platform.
The Chicago platform in its essence
is as vital today as it was at the hour
of its adoption in 189G. The Kansas
City platform has lost nothing of its
living quality during the more than
two years which have lapsed since it
was promulgated. The Ohio platform
of 1902 is still a mighty force in spite
of the brazen treachery of John R.
McLean and the reorganizes who
sought to discredit it by rolling up a
Hanna majority two weeks ago. But
vhat of the Erie platform? Who can ;
name a single vital sentiment in it? .
Who can even remember, what it was
all about save that it thunderously de-
nounced a machine whose foundatipn
it refused to name, much less. to de
nounce? Could anybody hope 'to rally
tho routed batallions upon it? Does ,
any one Imagine that four years hence r
or a year hence it would still offer in- .
splratio! to a party 'and invite it to
high emprise? Johnstown (Pa.) Dem
ocrat . .-.-,
Spurious Paintings.
The sale of spurious paintings cred
ited to men around whom the halo of
fame rests is one of the thriving in-
dustries of New York. Those who
have read Alphonse Daudet's "Les Im-
mortales" will be at once familiar with"
the method of procedure followed, but
it may be added that the New York
fakir exceeds in cunning and resource
the cleverest devices of the Paris
charlatan. It is a matter of record
that some of these spurious "old
masters" have passed the most search
ing examination of connoisseurs and
have been pronounced genuine. With
out any facts to baso the statement on
it may be offered as a fair matter for
a wager that many of the pictures nov.
on exhibition in Pittsburg are not;
what the catalogue says they are. '
Pittsburg Dispatch. . , - .
How It Will Work.
The New Orleans Times-Democrat. '
(dem.), which does not take mucin,
stock in talk of tariff revision "by its-,
friends" recalls tho following anec-.
dote: "I see that the republicans have, .
been revising the tariff," said the latej.
Roswell P. Flower of New York-, tor.
Thomas B. Reed, in commenting on the
McKinley rates. ''Yes?" TnqufrM-'Mr.
Reed. "Yes," said Mr. FloWer; "and':
- you know what it reminds me of?"'
"No," said Mr. Reed; "what does it re- "
mind you of?" Well," said Mr. Flow-.
er, "it reminds me of the waythe
farmers build their fences out in Kan-,
sas. They build 'em four feet high-,
and six feet wide. And when a cyclone
comes along and blows thqm over,
they're higher than they were before."
"That iff the kind of 'tariff revision''
the country alloys gets when the re-'1
publicans go into tho 'revisingbusf
ress," says the Times-Democrat
h W
ME&
Ab.
There was. a bad man in Mo.
Who murdered a man in his Fu.
"He's a mighty bad case,
Aa you see by his face, .
And ought to bo hanged," said the Ju.
A Political Fable.
WHEREIN IS RELATED THE
STORY OF HOW THE PAR
TISAN HAD THE HOOKS
THROWN INTO HIM . GOOD
AND DEEP.
. Heza Partisan started out one even
ing for a stroll, dressed in his best and
foeling quite gay. In his pockets he
had his week's wages, intending to pay
the butcher and baker and candlestiJ.c
maker something on account. He wore
all his jewelry, carried a cano and felt
at peace with all the world except
the Filipinos who were foolish enough
to want .the same liberty enjoyed by
Heza Partisan.
"This is indeed a good world and
A Fable in Verse.
WHEREIN IS RELATED THE FATE
OF THE MAN WHO SHUCKED
CORN ON ELECTION DAY AND
REFUSED TO VOTE.
John Husker on election day, said
"I don't think that it will pay to leave
the field, for goodness knows corn
should bo shucked before It snows,
and, anyhow, I rather guess to stop
to vote is foolishness. I'll make a
dollar by -my work, so public duty I
will shirk."
So saying Husker took a chew and
on his Jieam the harness threw; the1
to his field of waiting corn he hast
ened in the early morn. He shucked
away with all his might -as long as
there was any light, then in the dark
he homoward went and with tho world
felt well content
But while John Husker worked that
day tho corporations joined the fray
and. by a shrowd uso of tho "rocks'
they captured ev'ry ballot box. Thoy
won tho fight and thereupon began to
pile tho tax on John, and squeezed him
till he had to pay for working on
election day.
They hammered down tho price of
A Chance for the Boys.
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The Commoner,
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