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The Commoner
IO
Vol.a,5N. a. I
&
JR.
It
I
Whttbw Common or Hot
TfabMMQMM1MM1rt
tho work of jotting tho franchise
Maj MFlxlri'5."
Gums I don't care if Biimmor's gono xm'
1 it is purt' Tiigh winter.
I I got a ma that cans things Tight,
an' plenty or 'em, 'too;
'An' purty soon th' snows 'ill come an'
' then ma dhe'll begin lor
Bring them air good ol' pre-sorvos
up, an' I'm a tollin' you
' JThey's boun' t' last us quite a spell, f'r
down there in th' collar
.Th ore's rows an' rows o' fruit jars
fullan' 'tain't no boughton stuff.
An' ma she knows 'at it'-s all pure an'
it won't hurt a feller,
OBut she'll jus' let me oat an' eat till
1 have got enough.
Th' Bwingin' shelves is all chuck .full
ri quinces, plums an' cherries,
An' rows an' rows o' marmorlade, o
' jolly an' o' jam;
Pooch butted? Soy, them jars is .full,
an' them cans hold strawberries
All home-made Stuff my ma put up
, l no cannin fact'ry sham.
FAv-gays a man tan -oat ma's Iruit until
. Tils eyes .are bulgin'
An' never have it' take no Btuff t'
rcuro a awful ache,''
An' ma he says it -does ;her good 't'
nee us both indulging
Jn all wo want o' her preserves an'
itoppin' off with .cake.
An' pickles! Say, you'd ought ,ter see
what ma she made last summer.
Cowcumbers. wottermelon rJn's, to
mater sauce an' slob.
At tflxin' up good thingB like them you '
bet my ma's a hummer,
An pa an' me just smile with joy!
when into 'em we pitch.
Aai' mangoes soaked in vinegar with'
cabbage cut'foristuflln i
Some onions pickled goodan' hot,
an' sour Kraut in tn' orme!
I guess my ma has got 'em all, she
v..w .14. -..l.t.ll
JUOVOl IDltJllH uiutuiu - 1
T bet there ain't a boy in town that's
got a ma like mine.
throuch tho council.
"Yes, this is my -first experience in
public life, and T owe it to the organi
zation." "Well, youse jus' stand by do or
ganization. Dis Citizens' Reform
League is made up .of fussy ol' gents
wot t'ink politics is too dirty f'r 'om
to take a hand int Dey make big
talk durin' political vacations, but dey
ain't cuttin' no political ice at do
election booths."
After carefully studying the Teturns,
as well as tho record of the city coun
cil, Mr. Secundus Warde had no dif
ficulty in perceiving upon which side
of his staff of life the oleomargarine
had bOT applied.
Kismet.
The coming blasts of wintry air"
"Doth mostly now concern us,
For soon we'll walk the cellar 'stair
To feed that greedy furnace.
Very Oftea.
He swore his taxes were too highj
That glaring fraud was rife;
He of ten heaved a doleful sigh
O'er wrongs in public 'life.
He urged reform in strongest way
And for the papers wrote;
And then, alas! on election 'day,
Ho clean 'forgot to vote.
the
the
A Culinary Invention
"What's that noise over In
aviary?" shouted Noah, igiving
wheel three turns and turning on the
binnacle light.
"Nothing, only our second son .stum
bled and fell into the auk's nest," re
plied Mother Noah.
"Hub. Ham imrl GGrerR " cmintfirl tho
boss of the ship, "and we ain't allowed I
to enjoy it."
The study of origin of staple food
products is indeed fascinating.
Poat Election Thoht5.
. Pay no attention to the nolitical'
thoughts of the man who was too-tbusy
or too careless to vote last Tuesday.
The man who votes to give special
(Privileges to others need not be sur
prised if his own interests are an
stagonized. The man who remained away from
-the polls because he thinks politics is a
,dirty business need not be surprised
Af he is at last contaminated iby the
anire of corrupt administration.
The ballot of the ignorant counts as
much ,as the ballot of the educated.
That's why educated men should seek
ito eradicate ignorance.
Some men Are perfectly willing to
ido tho voting .and lot others do the
thinking.
If you couldn't take time to vote
idon't waste time .complaining if the
results injure you.
The ballot is Just, as effective .as tho
ihullet in accomplishing reforms, .and
isn't nearly so expensive.
The honest 'ballot isthe-one cast for
principle.
The good citizen pondBrs every day
on the .question. ".How .ihould I vote
at the next election?"
Hasy Mark.
"But the Citizens' Reform League Is
opposed to this measure," remarked
Becundus Warde. representing a sec
tion of the city in tbe council. "It's a
cgoed 'graft nd means easy 'money, ttut
iwipposin ithe League gets after ois?"
"Say. youse aIb h green hand sin dis
ilraBinei,,ai!t you?" inquired areaink
Heeler, .the ,g entleman entrusted vwith
Pelt Small.
The pompous man walked into the
forest with a Belf-satisfied air.
"This is a great age," quoth he,
speaking to himself because he knew
he had an appreciative audience.:
"Man is the king of the universe. He
haB solved all the secrets of nature and
mastered the elements. It is the age
p'f intellect. Man can do anything."
Suddenly the pompous man found
himself surrounded by myriads of bugs,
beasts and reptiles.
"Yes, 'man is a wonderful "being," re
marked tho (firefly in derisive tones.
"Pray, tell me, what would you give
for tho secret of my ability to make
light witliout heat?"
"O, King of Beasts," remarked the
swallow in sarcastic tones, "what
would you give to learn the secret of
my ability to fly without muscular
exertion?"
An eel wriggled up out of a nearby
stream and attracted the pompous
man's attention.
"Pray, sir," said the eel, "I am an
electric ieel. j; know you .are far above
me in intelligence iand all that sort
of thug, but perhaps you would give a
pretty penny to learn how I .generate
electricity without the .aid of combus
tion or friction."
"Perhaps .you would .like to Icnow
.how to grow & new limb in case you
lose one of your told ones," remarked
the crawfish.
"Or 'how I see in the dark," squealed
the molo.
"Of course you sknojw how to sail
against tho wind in the upper atmos
phere," said tho buzzard with an ac
cent of fine scorn.
"Wouldn't it be advantageous to you
if you could walk with your head in
any direction?" .queried tho fly.
With a shriek h6 man fled from the
forest, leaving all of .his .pomposity be
hind him.
Failure.
Lives of rich men oft are wasted
Piling 'up for -waiting heirs,
Who as soon .as they can get it
Blow it in on reckless "tears."
Long Ways Alter Gray.
Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark, unfathomed caves of ocean
bear;
F.ull many a trust on ev'ry hand is seen
A heavy, unearned dividend declare.
Our Beautiful Orthography
A dude that -disdained business " -.
And 'wore liis hair in 'fruslhess,
"Once had a thought
And hIs brain wrought
Was seized with sudden dusiness.
Disheartening
"Dis is a crool world, Dusty," re
marked Tired Tom, as he rolled overt
into the sunlight
"Wot's de matter now, Tommy?"
"I just been thlnldn' o' de needless
waste uv energy dere is 'cause our?
hearts .beat while we is Bleepin.
ex-
A Correction.
."Something should be done!"
claimed the man of capital. i
"JExcuse me," said Senator Graliall,
feeling in liis pocket to see ifthe hold
up bill was still there. "Excuse me,,
but don't you mean that somebody.
should be done?"
steer by tho compass of Unbelief soon
er or later drive upon the rocks of De
spair. t j
Selfishness cannot be disguised "in
prayer. a
Whitewash merely covers; it docs
not wipe out -
Faith walks in the light while Doubt
stumbles in the dark.
History is given for our instruction,
prophecy for our guidance.
The prudent man does not exhaust
his energies in the preliminaries.
Singing is better than sighing and
whistling is more profitable than whin
ing. The man who -stops to throw a stone
.at Bvery yelping cur never arrives on
time. i
Some men pray, ""Lead ns not into
temptation," and then go xmt looking
for it
The difference between luck and
pluck is something more than tho in
itial letters.
Some men lookfor truth with their
eyes closed and Imrnp into error with
their eyes wiae open.
Some men .float with the current and
imagine they are winning success be
cause the stream grows wider.
The man who is always looking on
the dark side never has any trouble
finding what he is searching for.
The worst bore is the man who per
sists in talking about his children
when you want to talk about your
own.
The man who tries to do business
without advertising is like the man
who rides backwards he never sees a
thing until it has gone Tjy him.
. , . -r-WJU M. Maupin.
The Combination OH Cure for dancer.
-Was originated and perfected rt Br. D. M.
JJye. at is soothing and balmy and elToajraHaf
'irom unceasing pain. It'has cured naro cases
.than all other trratmonte combined. SThoso'in.
tereete, who desire freefeoeks telling vabeat
.the treatment, .save time and axpoase by ad
dressing the HomeOfflca-DK. D. M.BXMCO.,
P. O.Drawor;0fi,KdianpUj,iInd.
Resourceful.
Telegraph "Editor "Here's a scare
head account of ah attempt to assas
sinate King Chompalompomp of
Whanghiland. He's the royal nibs
that's coming over here next spring.
Double-lead It, run on first page and
print his picture."
Foreman "Can't print the picture.
'Cut of his royal nibs smashed last
month."
"Well, saw out 'the cut of that fel
low who was cured by taking nine bot
tles 'of "Extract of Whetstones, trim off
the whiskers a little and cut a white
streak around the chest for a necklace.
That 'ought to fetch 'em:"
The .Difference.
'"Say, Uncle 'Rastus, can you come sup
to my house some time this week and
-whitewash my upstairs 'rooms?"
"No. suh, I can not, suh. I's not u
whitewashah, suh."
"Aren't you whitewashing ,-any
more?"
"No, suh."
"What are you doing now?"
"I'se -an -interiah'decoratali, Buh:"
"Well, -what's the difference between
a whitewasher and an interior decor
ator?" "Thu diff'runce, siih, is jus' edsafck
ly one dollah an' --fifty cents 'a day, isiih.
Is you -all needin' thu suhvices ov m.
ahtist, suh?"
BralaXfaks
A pleasant .'home Js -the beatcurfew
law.
The vrag bf tl dog's tail 'is always -sincere.-
Men who 'set ithe sail ,of .oubt and
A1HE YOU -AMBITIOUS?
Coffee .MftkealSome Popl Halplesa
'We inherit our temperaments. Some
.children are happy and hright, while
.others are nervous and cross. Care
Rhnnlrt ba taken that the uhild is given
proper food and arink so as not to in
crease natural nervousness or to bring
it on; but this is often overlooked by
mothers who permit their children to
drink coffee without check.
The wife of a groceryman living in
Siloam, Mo., says, "I was born with a
nervous temperament, and this was in
creased by my parents giving me cof
fee when .a child, unconscious of its
bad effect on my nervous system. In
time, a cup of .coffee in the morning
invariably soured on my stomach, and
a .single cup at night would make mo
nervous and walceful and often cause
a distressing heart-burn. Last year I
laid tn bed all summer with nervous
prostration, a complete wreck from
xoffee drinking. I craved a good,
nourishing, hot drink and commenced
to use Postum Food Coffee.
There was a gradual improvement
in my health almost' from the com
jnencement jof using 'Postum. I could
.sleep well, the heart-burn , and nervous
ness disappeared, my stomach trou
ble stopped and now (a year later) I
Oiave gone fro mthe ,sick-hed to the
store behind tho counter day ater
,day; ;from a helpless to a stirring
business woman, with new life and
strength, now opes and ambition;
from the pale, weak X02-pound woman
.to my present woight of .120 pounds.
Thanks to Postum.
We -carry Dostum in stock .and rec
'ommend it to our customers; we uove
to sell 'it and "often rgive a trial r,auan
:tlty o tho 'faltering to induce .them ito
oise this Tiealth-giying .drink;" TTame
rgiven fby Dostum Co., jBattle CreK,
fMich-
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