The Commoner.
3pt. i2,MQoa
15
ConsumptioB
Can be Cured.
GOOD SHORT STORIES ffESSfe
31ii oott Mk how u
fMt nonjr e tk Hem
arm owunei our num i
fcotn 14 f la
Alarvtleaw Dkeevery fey tk Pshmmhi Dacter
Yoakerauia f KaUtaaazee, nicfc. Stat
Officiate MUf Great Medical MaaPre
new ace It the.OsIy Cure for Cen-
SHsaptlea aad all Threat
sad Lung Trouble
Consumptives Given up te Dk and Sent. Buck
Prom California Hopeless and Helpless
are New Alive and Well Through
This Wonderful Cure far
Consumption.
A Fre Package Containing Sufficient te Cea
vlaee tke float Skeptical Seatte
all Wiio Write
Consnraptjpa caa at lait be cared. Marvelous
as it may seem after the many failures, a sure,
positive and cortaia cure for the deadly con-
DR. D. P. YONKERMAN, tke Discoverer ef
Tuberculozyne the Only Cure for
Consumption.
sumption has at last boon discovered by Dr.
Dork P. Yoakerman, a groat Michigan doctor,
who has made a life study of this fatal disoase.
His wonderful remedy has been fully tested and
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its power to kill the dread germ that causes con
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the people aro entitled to such a production of
acienco, and ho is sending free treatments all
oyer the world bringing joy of knowledge of cer
tain rescuo from thiB awful, fatal disease. Such
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all the great medical and germ specialists and
chemists have already repeatedly deolarodthat
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it in tbe curablo list JFroe trial paokages and
letters from grateful people former consump
tives resouod from the very jaws of death are
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there is not aniiour to Jose when you havo con
sumption, throat or lung trouble. Send today
for free package.
Cannibal Joke.
"And what," asked the cannibal
chieftain, in his kindest tones, "what
was your business before you were
captured by my men?"
"I was a newspaper man,'.' answered
the captive.
"An editor?"
"No, merely
a subeditor."
"Cheer up, young man. Shortly af
ter my chef has finished his perusal of
the cook-book you will be editor-in-chief."
Laughing heartily at his bon mot.
the cannibal chief wanted to know if were pagSed for the beginning of a new
the captive had a funny bone. Judge, jqsarter In which me me or liosee was
Gee4 Authority.
Gen. Winfield Scott, the hero of tho
Mexican war, used a secretary for all
his correspondence, private as well as
official, says the Philadelphia Ledger.
Once, in the absence of his secretary,
he undertook to write an order for
the transferring of some proyislons,
and spelled "wagon" "waggon." Later,
the secretary, in looking through the
various memoranda, etc., found the
order and detected tho error.
"General," lio said, affably, "by
what authority do you spell 'wagon'
with a double 'g'?"
Scott never turned a hair as he re
plied without a moment's hesitation:
"By what authority? By the au
thority of the major general com
manding the . armies of the United
States, sir! What better authority
do you want?"
Storks la Turkey.
Storks have always been in great
esteem in Turkey, says the Baltimore
Herald, and their good reputation has
gone up considerably owing to a most
touching incident that occurred re
cently. A small village on the gulf of
Ismidt caught fire, and over 200
houses were destroyed. A large num
ber had storks' nests on them, and at
the beginning of the fire all the birds
took flight Almost immediately, how
ever, they returned to their little ones
of which there were two or three in
each nest. The old birds settled down
over their broods, covering them with
their wings, and one after another
perished in tho flames without at
tempting to save themselves.
Knew Him.
"I am sorry, George, said his mother,
"that while you were away you took
those Sunday yachting trips."
"Why, I didn't say anything about
Sunday yachting trips in my letters.
I merely said I had been out yachting."
"I know it, but If it had been on
any other day of the week you would
have said so." Chicago Tribune.
Pat's Attempt at Suicide.
Pat had come over to America with
the expectation of finding money lying
around loose, only waiting for some
one to pick it up, says the New York
Times. Of course this was long ago
Pat had soon become disillusioned and
was always glad to get hold of odd
jobs which would .net him a little
something to help him keep body and
soul together. Finally, becoming tired
of the struggle, he decided to end it
all, and was very industriously tying u
rope aronnd his waist when his land
lord happened in on him. After
watching him curiously ifor a few min
utes, he asked:
"What's up, Pat? What are you try
ing to do?"
"Troyin' to choke mself, av coorse,"
was Pat's answer.
"Choke yourself? You can't do it
that way. You'll have to put the rope
around your neck."
"Sure an' I thried thot, but I couldn't
breathe."
The Beys Knew.
A young railroad official of Chica
go, says the Chronicle, who lives in a
suburban town and teaches a class of
young hopefuls In Sunday school is
obliged to adopt most remarkable
methods in order to bring past les
sons and Bible characters to the minds
of the boys.
The youngsters range In age from 7
to 9 or 10, Not long ago lesson books
to bo retold. On tho title pago was a
picture of Moses in tho bullrushes and
Pharaoh's daughter and her maids
just approaching.
"Well, boys," said the railroad offi
cial, "about whom aro wo to study
this quarter?"
No one know.
"Doesn't anyone know?" ho asked,
and the heads bobbed from side to
side.
"Well, who was placed in tho bull
rushes when ho was 'a baby and a
king's daughter came and found him?"
asked he, showing the picture.
Still no answer.
Then he exclaimed:
"Well, who was In the cellar when
tho light went out?"
"Moses!" yelled every boy in tho
class.
The young railroad official is think
ing that Bible stories might- be im
pressed more readily upon tho minds
of tho youths of the period were they
told In fable or slang.
British Repartee.
A lift on tho Twopenny Tube the
other evening being full, the attendant
sharply snapped the iron gate on two
bricklayers.
One coming close up to tho iron lat
tice stared at the attendant with
scornful contempt.
"Wot are yer lookin' at, Jim?" asked
his mate.
"At a bloomin' ugly monkey"
"Well, I never knew my face was a
lookin'-glass before," was the smart
retort of the attendant as the lift
soared smoothly upwards.London
Express.
Who Supported Atlas.
Dr. Edward Brooks, superintendent
of the public schools, was asked by
one of his little friends in Overbrood
to listen to the latter's rehearsal of a
lesson in which there was a reference
to Atlas, says an unidentified ex
change. "Do you know who Atlas was?"
asked Dr. Brooks.
"Yes, sir; he was the giant who sup
ported the world."
"Ah, supported the world, did ho?"
went on the superintendent. "Well,
tell me who supported Atlas."
-ue little fellow looked as though
he had not given tho subject any par
ticular attention, but showed imme
diate willingness to think it over. Tho
doctor stood looking on, trying hard
to keep back a smile, but the young
ster finally brightened up and an
swered: "Well, I guess he must have married
a rich wife."
Quite Unbiased.
A Texas judge was robbed of a
horse not long ago, says the Chicago
Journal, and the thief, being appre
hended, was brought before him for
trial. The judge eyed the prisoner
with deep satisfaction for a minute
o- so and then delivered himself thus:
"Owing to a' personal prejudice, the
court will not hear the case. It will
be tried by the bailiff, who will find a
verdict Jji accordance with the facts.
"In the meantime," added bis honor,
impressively, "the court will go outside
and prepare a ropo and pick out a good
tree."
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Maseru Agrktwtore.
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lOO Adams St. CHICAGO.
Wartd'a lxfnnal hsniajMll KTiryvMafkuowB In .
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H. B. DUNBAR, President and flgr.
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to J. B. BUCHANAN,
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and get full Information
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CLARENCE A. BURION, KANSAS aTV, fK).