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The Commoner.
IO
Vol. a, No. 34.
"yf-WMT V
I.
I.
WHETHER COnnON OR NOT.
Party deed We rid.
Purty good world it you aro llvin' it
right,
Doln' your work with th' wholo of your
might,
Slngin' an' gmilln' frDin mornin' till
night,
Helpin' an' liftln' your neighbors.
Purty good world as it's joggfn' along.
If sometimes our plannin' seems t
go wrongs
fTry it again an' tune up a new song
Singin' will lighten our labors.
Purty good world though a few days
aro drear;
More sunny days than of dark In th'
year;
Botter bo bravo than t' tremble with
fear;
Get from th,' world what's a comin'.
Purty good world if you take it just
right;
Grab right a holt and hold on with
your might;
Bound V win somethin' by makin' a
fight;
Keep things around you a hummin'.
Purty good world look it square in
th' eye;
Do well your part without sob or a
slglu
iYou'11 git reward in th' sweet by
and by,
.Where there ain't nothin' t' bother.
Purty good world, but struggle your
- best
II" make it soma better, and work with
a zest;
Work, for th' time will soon come, for
k rest s. .
Beat with our Heavenly Father.
Great Scheme.-
"I understand that Sharpleigh has
Sought a tent and is arranging to give
exhibitions at all the street fairs and
carnivals. What's he got to exhibit?"
"He's got one of the greatest won
ders of the decade. He's got. very near
half a ton of hard coal left over from
last winter, and he-'s going to exhibit
It in a glass case."
l...
of the. hunter and the delicious thrill
of bringing down big game. It's safe
to trust that kind of a man with the
affairs of state. Hit the bear right
behind the left foreleg, too! Bully
shot Geeminy, but I'd like to have
been with him!"
The passenger with the campaign
hat might have said more had ho not
become absorbed in the bear story.
Facility.
'l see," remarked the passenger in
the campaign hat, looking up from his
newspaper, "that Emperor William
lias -just gone out into the forest and
lulled another wild boar. The appe
tite that man has for blood makes me
alck."
"Another boar hunt, eh?" queried
the passenger with the eye-glasses..
"Yes. He rode out the other day
and slaughtered another boar, and
all the papers aro filled with it. That
kind of a man makes me tired."
. "It Is rather bloodthirsty, isn't it?
May I see your paper a minute?"
"Certainly say, wait a minute! By
George, this is interesting! President
Roosevelt went out into the Maine
wood"4 yesterday and killed a bear.
That's just liko Roosevelt. He Is the
greatest man of the age. Who but
Roosevelt would lay aside the burden
of Btate for a. few hours, plunge into
the woods ltye a Nimrod of old, kill a
bear with his own hands, and then
emerge from the woods and take up
the cares of state as if nothing- had
happened. That's the kind of a man
I admire. Loves the woods, the scent
.of the pine needles, the wild, free llfo
One ef the "Friends."
"Yes, sir, I believe that the tariff
needs revision," remarked the pomp
ous gentleman, knocking the ashes
from a Porfccto.
"I take It, then, that you believe
the trusts are bulwarked behind the
protective tariff," said the mild-eyed
gentleman on the opposite side of the
window.
"Nothing of the kind, sir," retorted
the pompous gentleman. "I am a be
liever in the protective tariff, and be
lieve that it should be revised, by its
friends, however."
"May I inquire what your business
is?" asked the mild-eyed gentleman.
"Certainly, sir. Here Is my card."
So saying the pompous gentleman
handed over an engraved card and
walked away with a majestic mein.
When the mild-eyed man looked at the
card this is what he saw:
: JOHN JAMES GRABBITALL, :
: Stockholder :
: XT. S. Steel Company. ":
: Hocking Valley Coal Co. :
: American Wool Co. ;
: American Cordage Co. :
: Reading Coal Co. ' :
: United Copper Co. :
: U. S. Rubber Co. . ':
: American Tobacco Co;. r . :
: American Sugar Co, , ':
: Etc., Etc., Etc., Etc. :
: ....:
"Ah, yes," mused the mild-eyed man;
"I understand what he meant when
ho said the tariff should be revised by
its friends."
is a
One Lack.
"They say President Schwab
nervous wreck."
"Funny. Why don't the trust manu
facture steel nerves?"
Don't be afraid to say "yes."
Don't imagine that smoking cigar
ettes makes you a man.
Don't cultivate a mustache at the ex
pense of good manners.
Don't forget that your mother is a
woman.
Don't let your hat-band become too
tight.
Don't call your father "the old man"
and imagine that it exhibits your in
dependence. Don't grumble at hoehandle blisters
until you can quit proudly exhibiting
the sprained baseball finger.
Don't read "Deadduck Dick" litera
ture until after you have finished all
the good books in the public libraries.
Don't grumble about doing the
chores as long as you eat and sleep
at home.
Don't forget that the thing the av
erage boy thinks is smart is the thing
that is foolish.
Don't forget that only a cowardly
boy ill-treats his little sister.
I
Hopeless.
"No, gentlemen," remarked the mys
tic from the Orient, "I fear that my
people-will never accept Christian civ
ilization." "Why not?" queried a listener.
"We have no great manufacturing
trusts into whose hands the Almighty
Father of the Christian nations may
give the keeping of the people's wel
fare." Then it was that wo realized the
hopelessness of civilizing those Orien
tal peoples until we had exploited
their country thoroughly. Immediate
ly, therefore, wo raised the flag of
"Destiny" and loaded up our rapid fire
guns.
Shaw.
You say the tariff shelters trusts,
O, Shaw!
That trusts all competition busts,
0, Shaw!
But still your racuous voice defends
The tariff's most nefarious ends,
And beg us leave it with its friends
O, Pshaw!
You say monopoly grows strong,
O, Shaw!
,Bulwarked behind the tariff wrong,
0, Shaw!
And then you chase out on the jump
And prance and prattle on the stump,
And begr'us swallow the whole lump
O, Pshaw!
You fear the trusts wjll shut up shop,
0, Shaw!
If we their giant graft should stop,
0, Shaw!
And so you say we should agree
To being robbed eternal-lee
To benefit the g. o. p.
0, Pshaw!
You fer. to shave a schedule down,
0, Shaw!
For fear the barons all will frown,
0, Shaw!
And so you preach protection's graft;
On high protection you've gone daft;
You're "It" with the trust robber craft,
0, Pshaw!
A Dozen Dont's fer Bays.
Don't conceive the idea that it's
smart to follow' the example of tough
men.
Brain Leaks.
The,re Is a wide difference . between
piety and pewity.
Some men have no higher ambition,
than to color a meerschaum pipe.
It is easier to give a reason for be
ing good than it is to conjure up an
excuse for doing evil.
That coal trust baron is not the
first man to stand on a street corner
and boast of his intimacy with the Al
mighty. If you know a man whose children
do not run to meet him when he goes
homo, be very careful when you have
business transactions with him.
The man who makes a jest of sacred
things Is likely to" make a failure at
distinguishing between his belongings
and those of others.
Will M. Maupin.
"WILFUL
WASTE
Va J
MAKES
WOEFUL
WANT."
That old copybook maxim finds its
most forceful application in the waste of
vitality, which is called "burning tha
candle at both ends." A woman ia
often tempted beyond her strength by
domestic or social demands. Some day
she awakens from this waste of strength
to the woeful want of it. She has be
come weak, nervous and miserable.
For weak, nervous, run-down women,
there is no better tonic and nervine than
Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. It
restores the appetite, quiets the nerves
and gives refreshing sleep. It cures
local diseases peculiarly womanly which
undermine the general health. It makes
weak women strong, sick women well.
No doubt you have forgotten me, but after
you read my letter you will remember me,
writes Mrs. Annie $,. Moring, of 338 7th Avenue,
S. W., Roanoke. Va. "In the year 18975 1 wrote
to you for advice, which you gave me free of
charge. When 1 wrote to you I was a wreck : I
could not walk straight for pains in my abdo
men ; conld not sit down, lie down, or get any
ease at all. I had what was called the best doc
tor here, but did not get any better until I went
through a course of your medicine. I took eight
bottles each of 'Favorite Prescription' and
Golden Medical Discovery,' and ten bottles of
the ' Pleasant Pellets.' I tell you the medicine
made a cure of me."
Weak and sick women are invited to
consult Dr Pierce, by letter, free. All
correspondence is held as strictly private
Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
Dr. Pierce's Pellets cure biliousness.
Wildcat Banking.
The republicans in congress have
agreed to pass the infamous Fowler
currency bill in case they shall have a
majority in the next session. The
Telegram has discussed this iniquitous
bill with many bankers, and has
found no banker who did not pro
nounce the Fowler bill a dangerous
measure. They agree that it is the
wildest of wildcat banking schemes.
When we elect a congressman this
fall we should try to discover which
of the nominees favors and which one
opposes the Fowler bill. We know
that Congressman Rdbinson is op
posed to the bill. We do'. not know
where Mr. McCarthy stands. How
ever, since he was nominated by rail
road and sugar beet influence, it is
safe to say that he would vote with the
corporation interests in favor of the
Fowler bill. If this estimate of Mr.
McCarthy should not prove a fair es
timate, the Telegram will cheerfully
make correction if Mr. McCarthy or
any of his friends will inform us just
how he stands on the Fowler bill.
Columbus (Neb.) Telegram.
Very Plain.
Let us see what the president's
strenuous demand for more legisla
tion to crush trusts really means. It
is only two years until the next presi
dential election. It will take a year
to get an act through congress and
two years to get it through the sii:
preme eourt. That will tide over tue
next presidential campaign. Is it nec
essary to make it plainer? Columbus
(0.) Press.
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