The Commoner.
15
Aug. ig, 190a
GOOD SHORT STORIES.
First Prayers.
William E. Chandler and Henry W.
Blair, the New Hampshire statesmen,
were bitter enemies for a time, but
have become reconciled, in a measure
since the former's defeat for re-election
to the United States senate, says
the Philadelphia Times. Meeting re
cently, Chandler said to Blair:
"I'm not feeling well this morning.
Awful pain in my back lumbago or
lomething, I fear."
"Too bad!" said Blair, sympathetic
ally. "When did it come on?"
"Last night," replied Chandler, "just
aa I kneeled down to say my prayers."
"Too bad!" said- Blair again. "Must
be awful discouraging to have such a
thing happen the first time you ever
tried it."
you mean?"
"Well, ma'am, I am just returning to
dust"
No Doubt of Identity.
One morning a banker stepped into
his office, says the New Yorker, and
most effusively greeted his bookkeep
er who had entered his service just
twenty-five years before, at the same
time handing him a closed envelope
with the remark:
"This is to serve you as a memento
of the presentoccasion."
The grateful recipient did not ven
ture at first to open the envelope, un
til encouraged to do so by a nod and a
smile from his employer. And what
do you think it contained? The bank
er's photograph that, and nothing
more. The bookkeeper was dumb' for
the moment
"Well, what do you think of it?"
his principal inquired.
"It's jusMlke you," was the reply.
Cewld Net See Them.
There is a citizen of New York, says
an exchange, who decided to treat
himself to a horse and a runabout
In every case he insisted upon know
ing the attitude of the prospective
purchase in relation to automobiles.
"I don't want my neck broken daily,"
he would say.
There was a horse that suited him.
,"I can warrant him on the automo
bile question," said the Jersey farmer
who owned him. "I will guarantee
that he will pass a dozen an hour, all
day long, and never look at one of
them."
"Will you give mo a written state
ment to that effect?"
"I will."
The sale was made. For once a Jer
sey farmer had told the truth in a
horse trade. The horse was blind.
ing 274 mills, fifteen plants, with a ca
pacity of 129 mills, have been closed
Indefinitely. These suspensions have
followed the refusal of the tin plate
workers to accept a reduction in wages
In order that export business to the
amount of 1,500,000 boxes might be
obtained.
Aa English Joke.
London Answers prints the follow
ing, which, may be accepted as a fair
sample of English humor:
A Chapham yQung lady recently, on
inspecting her drawing room, found
the furniture and ornaments covered
thickly with dust, and evidently they
had not been touched that day.
"Mary!" she- called the servant,
"you haven't dusted the room this
morning, have you?"
"No ma'am, I haven't; I am just
decomposing."
"Decomposing! What on earth do
The Wrong: Connection.
The bill clerk and the telephone
girl wero engaged. Sitting in front
of the fireplace, they fell to talking
about the happy time when they would
be one.
From one little detail to another the
talk finally drifted to the subject of
i-Fhtinc: fche fires in the morning. On
this point tke young man was decided.
He stated it as his emphatic opinion
that It was a wife's place to get up and
start the fires, and let her poor, hard
working husband rest
After this declaration there was si
lence for the space of about three
quarters of a second. Then the tele
phone girl thrust out the finger en
circled by her engagement ring and
murmured sweetly, but firmly; "Ring
off, please. You have got connected
with the wrong number." Exchange.
The postponed coronation of King
Edward of England took place on Sat
urday, August 9. A great deal of tho
original ceremony contemplated was
omitted, and tho number of visitors
was greatly decreased.
A dispatch from Salt Lake City,
Utah, dated August 8, says: A special
to the Tribune from Helena says:
"Tho Helena Independent, tho oldest
n.orning daily in Montana, has been
sold to United States Senator W. A
Clark. The formal transfer will take
place next Tuesday. It Is understood
that the purchase price was $150,000,
although this report cannot bo con
firmed. John S. M. Neill, who sold the
paper today to ex-Qovernor Hauser,
'representing Senator Clark, gave a
supper tonight to his old employes.
It Is reported that a street railway
consolidation will shortly take place
in Omaha, when the Omaha Street
Hallway company will take charge of
the three Omaha and Council Bluffs
roads. A new power house is to bo
built and this, with other improve
ments, will cost about $1,000,000.
FREE FARMS.
TO ENCOURAGE
SETTLERS
we Rire away free eacre tract in Mom t rem cry
county, Georgia, and T&acre tract in I'catre
county, Term. All we charre is ft for making
out deed. Good title Healthy ciltai. SeU the
beat for fruit and grain. Genu for circular. Me
restrictions. -
U. S. LAND SYNHQT1,
105 WaMhgt 3tret, Chiang; Nt,
PIANO
it Ym Wtit t
Ohio Stato Journal:
"But, father," replied the erring son,
"you know every young fellow has to
sow his wild oats."
"Yes," answered the father, "but you
ought to know when you have a big
enough crop in."
The News of the Week.
(Continued from Page 13.)
'August 7, says: The state department
Is advised by Minister Squires that the
Cuban senate has authorized the exe
cutive to increase import duties to
the following maximums: Shoes and
boots, from 10 to, 17 per cent; coal, 25
cents per 1,000 kilos; pine lumber, 40
per cent; stearine beef in cans, fresh
beef, fresb mutton, salt beef, jerked
beef, ham, herring, coffee, cider, beer,
50 per cent; hats, 60 jper cent; butter,
"liquors, wine, 70 per cent; poultry,
fresh pork, salt pork, bacon, lard,
cheese, condensed milk, wheat flour,
codfish, rice, alimentary preserves,
eggs, beans and peas, onions, potatoes,
olive oil, 100 per cent; common soap.
150 per cent; corn, 333 per cent.
A report from Wilkesbarre, Pa of
August 7, says: President Mitchell
of the united mine workers, in an in
terview with a representative of the
'Associated press today, said with refer
ence to the decision of Judge Goff in
the habeas corpus proceedings against
the miners in West Virginia: "The
only thing to do now is to make an ap
peal to President Roosevelt for the
pardon of the men in jail, and this
will probably be done at once."
Major B. K. West of the commissary
department has written from Manila
to General Wheaton, chief commissary,
as follows: "I was in hopes that the
closing up of the campaign in Batangas
and Laguna would end the feeding of
the natives, but such .is not tho case,
although the camps have been broken
up. The natives were left in a desti
tute condition, had been unable to
plant new crop's, all the old crops had
been destroyed in the military opera
tions and so the work has to go on.
General Bell was in the city and I
asked him about the number of na
tives he was feeding. He told me that
in Batangas he was feeding approx
imately 250,000 people. In Laguna he
could not give the exact number, but
I judge from the quantity that we sup
ply that there must be about half as
many."
President Roosevelt has expressed
his approval of the plan of connecting
the United States and China by means
of a cable across the Pacific ocean.
As announced some time ago, the Pa
cific Commercial Cable company,
whose president was the late Mr. Mac
kay, has made a proposition to the
government as to laying this cable,
and their proposal has been accepted,
this government to fix charges and in
times of war to have control of all
lines.
Another important railroad merger
has taken place by which the Chicago,
Milwaukee & St. Paul railway has
combined with tho Missouri Pacific.
One of these railroads represents the
Rockefeller Interest and the other the
great southwestern systems of the
Goulds.
taHfta larfftbt
" " " twtnraed ttvm rtmtttr to k
dkpn-d olatoaeo. TMylaeJelHelnweje.IaUi.rieekeej,
tloiulth.d from new mm f Mm. 7 " "
a treat dl.ant. fcDllBBHP'"?, J
m 1 100. Alio Wa- M K HH tlful New Ugh
HhUaUt,t, I 111 III y4.l
Iniirumaut at J0, m tullj equal U maay
IHjaplenot. Monthly Mf'" M 4ed. Prelihtoalra
6. Writ for Hit and partUnlanr . To make a great mt(i(.
rUM wuritki u rtftmnkl. Slut rated ttauo 9k. Fr.
LYON & HEALY
IOO Adams Sttt CHICAGO.
World' Urwielhou; telle iTertalnf kaewalaMaata,
beat by TMt-77 Y8AM5. We A V CA
Want MORE Salesmen rAl Wtkir
Stark Hwnery, LwMm, Ala.: BaasrHis. N.T.
III llll Ill
BE A BOSS CARPENTER gjy!.? St
llneator In the Art of Framing, a Moor Framing Chart
and supplementary leather hound look. Any one who
can real figures and cut to a lino can frame tho meat
dlfllcult roof. No algebra, no geometry. KToatalng
worked out tot plain figntm bead P.M. O. for $1.W.
For Chart only, on cloth lined map paper, with tUeka
and hanger, $1.00.
C. M. Osborn Pub. Co., Lincoln, Neb.
Thi Old Line Bankirs Life Insurance
Go. of Lincoln, Nebraska,
wlft write yon a poller of S1.0C0 and gnaraakee
on its face that the net coat to yon from date
till its maturity in 20 years will not exceedJl.OO
per year at age twenty Ht to $6.20 per year at
ago flfty-flte. Every policy accured br a de
posit with the State of Nebraska. Bead age at
nearest birthday and get Illustration.
Of the twenty-eight plants of the
American Tin Plate company, operat-
A cablegram from London, under
date of August 8, says: Official an
nouncement was made today that Aus
tin Chamberlain, son of the colonial
secretary, has been appointed post
master general, vice the Marquis of
Londonderry, resigned. Tho appoint
ment of Sir William Hood Waldron
to be chancellor of the duchy of Lan
caster in place of Lord James of Here
ford, resigned, because of ill health,
also was officially announced today.
Recent reports from Rome say that
the action of tho Philippine friars in
selling their lands to syndicates of
laymen is disapproved at the Vatican.
The lands are considered to be church
property, inalienable without the con
sent of Rome,
An Associated press cablegram from
Berlin, under date of August 8, says:
Prof. Uphues, the sculptor, by the em
peror's direction, will go to Washing
ton in October to personally superin
tend the erection of the statue of
Frederick the Great. The execution of
a bronze copy d Prof. Uphues' Pots
dam statue of Frederick the Great has
been begun end the sculptor also is
having bronze statues of that work
made for persons in America.
Ranier Grand Hotel
Seattle, Wash.
European Plan. Rates $1.00 and upward.
622 rooms. 75 rooms with bath. Finest
Cafe in. tho northwest; noted for the
peculiar excellence of its Cuisine.
Ranier Graiii Hotel Co.
H. B. DUNBAR, President and flgr.
S I 1 1 W pe.ewiaBie'evVea frf m .
flare Yoflr Owa Pressure Waterworks '
Be comfortablo like city folks. Have HATH. Closet
ranffO DOlier sappiicu wun uyuram water; tjw pim
operating. EapeclalJr toe for farmers aBd tewm
Waterworks. Hand power, windmill, or engine. Bend
for new Illustrated catalogue,
CLARENCE A. WJR10N, KANSAS CITY, flO.
1
Ifawrfpcfe
30 Courses Preparatory, Normal, Collegiate. Business,
Shorthand, Telegraphy, etc. Strictly first-class. 8o and
upwards for hoard, room, and tuition 48 weeks. 1'RUE
tuition to one from each county. We pay your car f are up
to noo miles. Fall term opens Aug-. I9. Catalex Fre.
Matf
UtUttfBnti
ritwiii&t
Will Plow Anything Anywhere
11 hi 11 h,.
JWBftfcfcfrM Bri
Tb Hap gCK4-Hauicock Dfcc
Sulky an Gmg flows
! greit an Icoproxraentovw Ut V oId-Brl Moir
u that DlowOYtr til Crook4 BUek. W dars
, not Ull you half UifaeU. You would net teller m. W
I want 70a toMit!n the field. Son ton trial, Bttont la
adranea. We amarantee to tAow anvWilnr you caa eloir
-with a Mold-Board flow, and do bioc ftod tetter m)c VrMt
three horsea on a 2lneh Ganr. four horaefon a St-Iaeh Trie!
QtMg, or tS-lneh Qeadraple Oaoc plowlaf 5 to 10 Incae deep, than any Mold-Hoard or XKac Plow on Zartb will do wHfc
tear horie on only 2i-(echGarjr. Will plow hard drytroand when no other plow will work. We want yorr felp fca
inUodoea tbU plow and will pay you rood money for aaae. Write now. Th Only Plow Factory Ib tho World aewfog
direct to tho farver. Exclusive manafaetareu lor two-tfctfda of the U.S. of tho OeenlBC Kaaeeci; Plow, the only
plow branded or adrertUed aa HANCOCK. Ueware efekeao Istl tstleaa that look like our plow, but wblrh
Utk lb Marattal eleaweat (erarod by our paUetai that wake tho Haaroek Plow a Woadtr aad the Jalr
nuMCMralJBIaerioweaKarib.-If Al'CfotMft FlttW Ctt., xalatlTSt Mfirav, 0x339, A1U,11L
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