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The Commoner.
Vol. 2, No. Z9.
16
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III
. .
GOOD SHORT STORIES.-
Tho Dotroit Froe Press provldos the
following:
"Very amusing aro tho struggles our
jGerman frlonds have with tho Eng
lish vocabulary," romarked a gentle
man I mot on the smoker' platform.
"We had a rollglous revival In our
neighborhood, and Annie, -oUr Gorman
housoinald, docldod to become ft
church member. It was a sect of a lib
oral croed, somo of whoso members
favorod baptism by immoralon, somo
by sprinkling.
"Wo did not know which Annie
, proforred, although tho question was a
nlco ono with ray wife, sho did not
think best to urgo or adviso In tho
mattor. Tho coromony was porformod
one ovonlng, and tho morning there
after Annie prosonted horsolf with
smiling faco.
"Well, Annie said my wife, 'you
'"'wore baptised, wore you?'
"'Yayes,' said Annio, 'a lootlo.'
"Wo subsequently loarned that her
Mooter baptism was a sprinkling.
"Wo never learned why sho chose
tho 'lectio' instead of tho 'big'."
The Baltimore American is respon
sible for this:
"Poker," growlod tho eminent finan
cier, "is tho most contemptible game
over invontod."
Hero wo gathered around him, hop
ing to hear some poarls of wisdom, for
woll wo know that tho truly great are
prone to guide us in the proper path
by pointing out tho pitfalls which bo
set our untrained feet.
"It's an atrocious game!" he con
tinued. "I sat at tho table for three
hours and nevor held better than a
pair of fives, and a common, low
browed person across from me, who
hasn't got a million dollars to his
name, held straights, flushes, fulls and
tho whole gamut .of possible hands.
It's a vile game! Besides, I lost a
good deal."
locations and embasaio concerning a
I conversation Horr Von Hollobon, doan
of tho diplomatic corps, recently haa
with a society' leader of Washington:
"It has often puzzled me," the lady
said, "to understand Just how the Ger
man mon manage to maintain such
superb dominion over their wives
without destroying the latter's sense
of freedom or minimizing their happl
noss and content"
"It is very simple, Indeed," replied
tho ambassador; "meroly a question of
conjugal diplomacy."
"But supposing the wife ventures to
sot up hor judgment against that of
hor Hogo lord?"
"In that caso," said tho diplomatist,
"tho Gorman husband meets the issue
bv savinc to his wife something like
fli'fn.
lUlDi
" 'My dear, you kriow that my judg
ment is abovo criticism, for I had the
inspired wisdom to select you from
among the many; but you, on the oth
er hand, cannot place absolute re
lianco upon your judgment if, after
accepting mo, you find yourself waver
ing as to your confidence in my ability
to direct our ways.'
"You will readily see," added Herr
Von Hollobon, "that a wife, in wis
dom., cannot protest against such a
diplomatic assertion of domestic lead
orship."
MR. WEBSTER DAVIS' BOOK.
This work is the outcome of a visit to the Transvaal, made by Mr. Webster
Davis while he was Assistant Secretary Tf the Interior, under Mr. McKinloy's
first administration, asri as a result of which he broke his relations with the
ropuDiican party ana auiu&iea nimaeii
John Bull's Crime or
Assaults Republics
with the opposition. The author ve
hemently arraigns the British govern
ment for the Transvaal war. Whether
the reader agrees with the author or
not, he will be interested in his presen
tation of the Boor side of the esse,
Milton said that truth could not suffer
so long as she was left free to combat error. The illustrations were all taken
on the spot, either by Mr. Davis or by some of his friends, and they certainly
form a unique collection of South African pictures. Cloth, large octavo (6x9),
dOO pages altogether, printed on coated paper, beautifully illustrated by over
eighty full-page half-tones, attractively bound. Two dollars, carriage prepaid.
Send a copy of this advertisement with your order to
THE ABBEY PRESS
PUBI.I8HKR8, 114 FIFTH A.V.
NEW YORK.
The Now York Times says that Jus
tice Glegerich of tho supreme court,
who has a fine summer Homo on
- Staten Island, is fond of sailing, and a
few days ago ho invited a friend of his,
a lawyer, to go down tho bay with
him. At the start, the wind was quite
brisk, but soon freshened into a gain,
and caused the little craft they wore
in to toss and roll in a manner that
soon caused tho lawyer's features to
twist into expressive contortions.
Justice Glegerich, noticing his
friend's plight, laid a soothing hand
on the latter's shoulder and said:.
"My dear follow, can I do anything
Kansas City Journal: "
Ono evening at dinnor Ida was asked
If sho would have somo squash. She
answered, "No."
"No what?" asked the father.
"No squash," answered Ida.
Tho New York Tribune, relates that
a friend recently put this question to
District Attorney Jerome, whose
father, 'Lawrence Jerome, was a cele
brated wit of his day, and who was
generally spoken of among familiars
as "Larry":
"How many of these stories that are1
attributed to your father really ema
nate from him, and how many aro
fictitious?"
"Woll," replied the district attor
ney, "I am not prepared to say; som?
of them aro undoubtedly manufac-
tured.but of tho origin of one I am con
vinced, as I was. one of the principal
actors. On a certain ocasion a good
many years ago, when I was a little
chap, I was riding on my father's knee
in a Fifth avenue stage, every other
seat being taken. At a corner 'a lady
entered, and my father said to me in
severe tones:
'"Why, Trayers, my hoy, I am
I ashamed of you! Why don't you got
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Man's . . .
Best Friend
"The merciful man
is merciful to
Lis beast."
The . . .
Noble Horse
4 4 Black Beauty"
The autobiography of n horse. A story that touches the heart More than a million
copies sold. Translated into many languages. It should be read by old and young.
A book that has set the world to thinking. Bound in cloth illuminated cover.
To Secure this book send copy of this advertisement and $1.85 to
L. C. Page & Co., Boston, Mass.
PUBLISHERS.
New England BIdg., No. 20o"Summer St.
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lor you?"
'Yes, your honor," replied the law- up and give this lady your seat?'
yer m plaintive tones, "you win great
ly oblige me hy overruling tills mo
ion."
The Philadelphia Times says:
A conductor on one of the Reading"
locals" was handed a ticket for
Wayne Junction by a lady who bqard
ed his train the other day iri the com
pany of a bright looking little girl.
He. looked at tho child, and then asked
lor anotnor tictcet.
"I've never had to pay for hor bo
fore," was the mother's reply.
"How old is she?"- asked the con
ductor. "Five years."
"Why, mamma, I'm six!" protested
tho child.
"She's she's nearly six," hurriedly
explained the mother. "That is, she's
iust going on six."
The conductor looked at the, mother
for a second, and then, as ho turned
away, said:
"Well, madam, if I were you, I'd buy
a ticket for hor on the return trip.
She's likely to be all of six by then."
The Kansas City Journal says:
A story is going the rounds of the
Chicago Tribune:
"Papa," said the sweet girl graduate,
"wasn't my commencement gown a
whooperino? I had the other girls
skinned alive!"
"And this is the, girl," said papa,
sadly, "whose graduating essay was
An Appeal for Higher Standards of
Thought and Expression'!"
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"If I had my way I would abolish all dog laws and all
dog catchers." Eugene Field.
OUR DEVOTED FRIEND, THE DOG.
By SARAH KNOWLES 'BOLTON.
To the dog what "Black Beauty" is to the horse a masterly plea for justice and
kindly care. A book of Dog Stories that will appeal to every lover of the dog.
Children of all ages, from eight 'to eighty, should; read it. Illustrated 444 pages
uouna in cioin uiunuumcu uuu unuuuacu tuvci
advertisement. Address
l. reau h. ,uiusiraiea 444 pages
-Prleo $1.50, with copy of this
L. C. Page, & Co, Boston, flass.
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PUBLISHERS.
New England BIdg., No. 200 Summer St.
on
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Chicago Post:
"He's always asking for a loan, and
he never pays up. Ho makes me think
of an English soldier."
"How's that?"
"He's such an absent-minded bogy
gar."
Chicago Post:
"Do you beljove in coeducation TH
"That depends upon tho nature of
tbe education sought. In science, for
instance, I think coeducation a draw
back, but in love it is a real necessity."
Chicago News:
Willie "Pap, what la the difference
between firmness and obstinacy?"
Father "Merely a matter of sex,
my son."
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M44.W04O4444ro4a0000ro0404'
T dlUuRlO UU VAJ W. H. HARVEY, author of Coin's Financial Behoof, f
the most entertaining and instructiYa hnolr W tM
a world of information. It should be in every family library and
181 pages, paper bound, 25c; in cloth, $1.00,
author, containing
read and studied by young and old alike.
Other Books by the Same Author
Cela's Financial Scheo!, ICO pages, in cloth only, $1.00.
A Tale ef Twe Nations, 802 pages, in cloth only, $1.00.
Cela's Financial School, and Coin's Financial School Up-to-Date, the latter an answer to
the critics of Coin's Financial School, both bound in one volume. In cloth only $2.00
The Great Debate, between Boswell Q. Hoar and Mr. Harvey, 535 pages, in eloth only $2
. Sent by Mail Postpaid on receipt of the Price In Checks, Bank
Drafts, P. O. or Express Orders, or in Postage Stamps.
' ADDEESS
Coin Publishing Co., V,NDA-BENIKA5
Mention the Commoner when sending for any of the books advertised above.
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