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About The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 15, 1901)
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May I Send You
T I will mail you any book from the
'tl-l. l.l. to .... nnvtl nn vnnti nillfnaa
J.1HL UU1UW 1JL J'UU BU11U Alio jrwm m,v.uw.
g With it I will send an order on your
"'noarcst druggist for six bottles of Dr.
Snoop's Restorative. If you think that
.you noed it after reading this book,
you aro welcome to take it a month- at
my risk. If it cures, pay your druggist
$5.50. If it fails, I will pay him my
"solf. This remarkable offer is made after
a lifetime's experience. I have learned
how to strengthen the inside nerves
those nerves that alone operate eVery
vital organ. I make each organ do its
duty by bringing back its nerve power.
' No case is too difficult. I take the risk
In five years, 550,000. people have ac
cepted this offer; and 39 in each 40
paid. They paid because they were
cured, for no druggist accepts a penny
otherwise. The decision is left with
Note that if my Restorative cures,
the cost is a trifle. If it fails, it is free.
Can you neglect such an offer when 39
out of 40 who 'write me are cured?
Simply state which
book you want, and
address Dr. Sboop,
Box 515, Rucind, Wla.
Mild cum, not chronIo,r often curttlb oat ot two toltlef. At U dru&UU.
BOOK NO. 1 ON DYSPEPSIA.
BOOK NO. U ON TUB HEART.
BOOK NO. 3 ON THE KIDNEVB.
BOOK NO. 4 ton WOMEN.
BOOK NO. 6 FOll MEN. (ittltd.)
BOOK NO. 0 ON nilEUMATISM.
Usually the newest thing in flannels
is a baby. '
Street corners are the turning points
in many lives.
Poets are born, but verso writers
grow of their own accord.
Speaking of women and folding beds,
a man can shut the latter up.
Every man may have his price, but
the market is apt to be overstocked.
The proofreader points out the
typographical error of the compositor's
An Irishman says the apple that
caused old Adam's fall must have been
a banana peel.
It's often better to be the sole owner
of a small dog that a stockholder in
a large one.
Children Jearn a great deal at school
that they are compelled to unlearn
after they grow up.
When a bright man is wanted for
actual labor he doesn't have to pass a
civil service examination.
After being landed by a girl who
has been angling for him a man nat
urally feels like a fish out of water.
Mojo people spend their time in won
dering why they are not loved than in
trying to make themselves lovable.
Many a fool man who is always say
ing that life isn't worth living con
tinues to do business at the old stand
just the same.
When a woman has company to
dinner and her cooking Is absolutely
faultless she always says it would
have been better had the range been
in good working order. Chicago News.
Brief Notes From BMlvUIe.
There are only two citizens of Blll
vllle in jail now and one in .the legis
lature. It's our opinion the race problem
could be easily solved by more plow
ing and less preaching.
No other candidates for governor
have been announced within the last
fifteen minutes of our going to press.
Most of our people have made
enough this year to pay all their debts
and get full Christmas.
Thank heaven for bountiful har
vests. We'll soon be able to shout
halleluja and invite the preacher to
Justice Jinks performed the mar
riage ceremony for five widows on
Wednesday last. The men were timid,
and gave feeble responses, but the
widows answered firmly and lively.
Brief Bits of Humor.
"How vain you are, Bflle! Looking
at yourself in the glass!"
"Vain, Aunt Emma? Me vain?
Why, I don't think myself half as
good-looking as I really am!" Tit
Bits. He "Do you ever let your husband
have his own way?"
She "Oh, yes. I think it does a
man good to let him make a fool of
himself now and then." Smart Set.
He (at a swell restaurant) "You
may have anything on the bill of fare,
dearest. Shall I read it to you?"
She "No, darling. Just read it to
the waiter." Chicago News.
"But, surely," urged Barlow, "see
ing is believing."
"Not necessarily," responded Dob
son; "for instance, I see you every
day, but as to believing you "-Stray
Tramp "Please, mum, I haven't a
friend or a relative in the world."
Housekeeper "Well, I'm glad there's
no one to worry over you in case you
get hurt. Hero, Tige." New York
"Do you realize," said the econom
ist, "that there is a heavy surplus in
the United States treasury?"
"Well," answered Senator Sorghum,
"it ain't my fault." Washington Star.
"Now, ma, you know I am anxious
to make an impression on those New
York people. Bring me the coal oil
can. I want to perfume my clothes."
"With coal oil! Mercy, child, what
do you mean?"
"Why, I want 'em to think we own
an automobile." Cleveland Plain
"Does your husband still call you
his pearl and his gem and all that?"
asked the young matron.
"Not exactly," answered the elder
one, doubtfully. "He has taken to
calling me his gold brick of late, and
I'm not just sure what he means by
it." Chicago Post.
Comedy or Tragedy?
llOUSEHOIit) DRAMAS ON WHICH
THE CURTAIN IS DRAWN
ous mining man, I thought those facta'
might be of some benefit to some of my
THE WORST THING TO DO.
The worst thing to do whon the stom
ach is diseased and causes discomfort,
Hiip.h ns bolnhincr or anidit.v. is in fair
The daily press mnkos us familiar somo 0f the many palliatives put up in
enough with the scene in the drunkard's the form of pills, tablets, powders, etc.
family in which the intoxicated man Theso are not remedies for tho disease,
finding the meal not to his liking, throws They only superficially change existing
it on the floor and proceeds to vent his conditions. Allow that they "sweeten"'
temper by smashing crockery and furni- the stomach, release the accumulated
turo. This is pure tragedy to the abused gag check fermentation, etc. All this is
and helpless family, and to tho onlooker ony temporary. The diseased condi
who through tho windows of tho press tion of tho stomach is Untouched. Dis
views the sad scene. But the daily paper ongo never stands still, and therefore the
never has a word to say about the sober gtomach itseif is getting worse instead
and reputable man of family, who, in a 0f bettor. It is tho result of the use of
fit of irritation; dashes to the floor or out gomQ 0f tho3e numerous palliatives that
of tho window some dishnot to his liking. raen nn(j women, when they have ex
The press doesn't toll because it doesn't hausted their little llelpfuless,flnd thorn
know. Family pride and love draw the seivog w'ltn an aggravated form of stom
curtains of privacy closely about such acn trouble." If these palliatives had
scenes, and it is only whon the Ions not disguised and covered up tho earlier
. symptoms, the people
would long ago have
sought and found a real
The moral is that if
your stomach is "weak"
or diseased don't trifle
with trivial palliatives
get the medicine which
cures disease of the stom
ach and other organs of
digestion and nutrition,
Dr. Pierce's Golden Mod
"For three years I suf
fered untold agony,"
writes Mrs. H. R. White,
of Stanstead, Stanstoad
Co., Quebec, Box 115. "I
would have spells of
trembling and being sick
at my stomach, pain ih
suffering wife appears perhaps in the right side all the time; then it would
divorce uourt that tho curtain is raised work up into my stomach, and such dis-
fora moment and reveals the miseries tress it is impossible to describe. I wrote
love has long hidden. This is not a fan- to the World's Dispensary Medical Asso-
ciful case. There is many a good home ciation, stating my case to them, and
haunted by this skeleton of unhappi- they very promptly answered and told
ness; many a reputable business man me what to do. I took eight bottles of
whose home coming is both feared and Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery,
dreaded. To an outsider the sight of a and five vials of Dr. Pierce's Ploasaht
man furiously throwing a dish of cake Pellets. Thanks to Dr. Pierce and his
from the window, or savagely kicking a medicine lam a well woman today. Dr.
cnair ouii oi nia way, wuuiu pruvunu a " uow M. .. j uUUWj.
smile. But to those in tho man's family of liver complaint of which she had been
his conduct provokes only tears.
Home Treatment for Cancer.
Da. D. M. Byx's Balmy Oils for cancor, is a
positive and paluless euro. Most cases are
treated at home without the service of a physi
cian. Bend for book tolling what wonderful
things are bolng done by simply anointing with
oils. The combination is a seorot ; givos instant
relief from pain, destroys tho cancor microbes
and restores the patient to health. Thousands
of cancers, tumors, catarrh, ulcors, piles and
malignant diseases cured in tho las,t eight yoars.
j.i not auuuiauiCUG tms out ana sonu it to some
ksuuenng ono. Auuress vx. u, m. uyk uo Uox
525, Indiauapolis, Ind.
This signature is on every box of tho gonulne
Laxative BromoQuinine Tablets
tho remedy that enros a cold in ono day.
The Joke on Ben.
Two men, Tom and Ben, worked side
by side for thirty years in a grocery
store, where there were a great many
unreasonable people to satisfy. Both
had grown old, and finally one night
Tom became violently ill. A doctor
was called, who, after his arrival, told
Tom that he could not recover. Tom
thought about it awhile, and then said:
"Won't It be a great joke on Ben! I
won't have to go to work tomorrow,
but B'en will have to turn out, as usual,
and hear the same old unreasonable
complaints." Atchison Globe.
"Yes," said the fair young girl, "I
had a great many alphabetical court
ships while I was in the country this
"Indeed?" he murmured, not know
ing what else to say, but being anx
ious to get at tho next paragraph.
"Yes," she continued. "You know,
I would roll my eyes, and then the
jays had to follow the eyes, didn't
After repeating the alphabet up to
the "i, j" part, we came to the conclu
sion that the fair young.1 thing knew
whereof she spake. Baltimore American.
THE CAUSE OI" IT ALL.
It is not natural ill-temper or pure
meanness which makes a man so moody,
sullen and irritable. The cause of his
condition is generally to be found in dis
ease of the stomach, often involving the
liver, kidneys or other ' organs. The
surest and Quickest cure for disease of
the stomach and other organs, of diges- jecc digestion ana assimilation or iooa
tion and nutrition is found in the use of the whole body will receive new strength;
Dr. Pibrce's Golden Medical Discovery, that lost flesh will be regained. You
'Having seen the advertisement of may expect that if the disease of the
your 'Golden Medical Discovery,' and stomach has involved the heart, liver,
being a great sufferer from tho effects of kidneys or other organs, that the disease
stomach trouble for the past eight years, of these organs will be cured with the
I concluded to try your medicine." writes cure of the stomach.
a sufferer for fifteen years. We recom
mend these medicines to all suffering
WHAT YOU MAY EXPECT.
You may expect from the use of
"Golden Medical Discovery" the same
results which have followod its use in a
multitude of other cases. You may ex
pect that the stomach will be perfectly
and permanently cured; that by the per-
Mr. W. A. Maxwell, of Marshfiold, Coos
Co., Oreg. "I had tried almost every
known remedy, also consulted with the
best medical skill attainable, but all with
out any relief. After reading one of your
Why may these things be expected?
Because they are the common experience
of those who have been cured by the
uso of ''Golden Medical Discovery'
These experiences follow the law of ex-
circulars I concluded to try one bottle of pectations, by which wo naturally expect
Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, that an effect which has usually followed
a given cause will not cease to follow it.
By tho same law you may expect
"Golden Medical Discovery" to cure you.
It has a record of cures, covering nearly
a third of a century. In ninety-eight
cases out of every hundred it has per
fectly cured tho diseases for which it is
prescribed and recommended.
Those who suffer from chronic diseases
After taking ono bottle I felt so relieved
it induced me to continue. Am now on
the fourth bottle, and have not had a
spell of bloating or 'acid stomach'
(which was very painful) for tho lost
six weeks. Before the uso of your medi
cine I was in dread of every meal time,
for in twenty minutes after eating I
would be racked with pain. Indigestion
was my principal ailment, and I havo are invitod to consult Dr.Piorco.by letter,
boon so terribly afflicted with asthma, free. All correspondence strictly private,
which I believe was brought on through Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.
tho medium of indigestion. Now, as I wisdom tor pennies.
stated, after having used four bottles of A 1008 page book, free. You can get
your medicine, I have not had an attack the People's Common Sene Medical
of sour stomach or painful bloating, and Advisor, the best medical book ever pub
my asthma has just about disappeared, lished,;, by sending stamps to pay
In fact, I feel bettor now than for the expense of mailing only. Send 21 one
last ten years. As I am largely known cent stamps for the book: in paper covers,
in New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado, Cali- or 31 stamps for the cloth-bound volume,
fornia and Oregon, as a rather prosper- to Dr. E. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y.