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Depressional. 1
A plague upon tho bloomin' Boors t . t. ( ',
Who chase us over veldt and kop;'
Who malce us long for native shores
And keep us ever on the hop.
Save us from B'otha and Dewet,
Let wo regret lest we regret.
Tho tumult novor seems to die;
In vain our leaders still proclaim;
Those scrappy Boers ,go riding by;,
Still deadly is their riHe aim;
Stillled by Botha and Dewet,
To our regret to our regret. .'
Land-locked, our navy cannot aid;
We're forced to fight midst chill and damp;1
And starving mother, wife and maid
Are all we gather into camp. ' n"
The sturdy men are fighting yet,
To our regret to our regret.
t
While drunk with thought of power we sought
Tobito off more than we could chew. . .
The bitter dose that then we caught .
Will last us for a year or two. .
We've had enough, but we're here yet, .
To our regretto our regret. ,
For greed of gain that puts its trust M .
In reeking tube and iron shard,
There is a time in which it must . .; '
Submit to throw-down good and, hard,: ;,, .
We started out with brag and blow- ?,,,jx;,
Say, whenwhen homeward shall vwe, go &
0, when? ,.a, lAV H aMH.
With humble apologies to Rudyard Kipling and
General Lord Kitchener. , t . ,
Perhaps three or four.
Welcome, Nevertheless.
"Here's a shocking bit of news." ' ;
yfyhat is it?"
"Czolgosz has been found guilty."
"There's nothing shocking aboutvthat." y"
"Yes, there is. He will be electrocuted.,' '
A
Objected.
Mario "While I was coming up the steps an
impudent fellow tried to kodak mo. Really this
impudence is becoming too burdensome. Some
thing should be done to stop it."
Sallie "Why do you object to bo kodaked?"
Marie "Because one never knows whether
one's hat is on straight when a camera fiend
takes an unexpected snap shot."
Fashion Note.
Put away Sophronia's netwaist
'Round her chilly winds do steal,
And she now is working papa
For a jacket made of seal.
New Amusement.
f'Hello, Jones! Building air castles?"
"Nope.- Air ships."
XZ
A riedern Hero. .
He bade his friends aglatLgood-.byo c,
-Yet with a hero's stern command '.'
'Of feelings as he gazed about A
Upon his gallant little band.
When shades of night fell o'er the earth
They bore him homo as on a shield,
For he had won undying fame
Upon the bloody football field.
' Aunt Lib's View.
"I've been readln' th' papers," remarked Aunt
Lib, looking up from her knitting, "an' I notice
The Commoner.
that th' naval officers that wus never nearer tho
battle of Santiago than the chart room of th'
naval bureau are tellin just how It should a-been
fought. That's always th' way with th world. Th'
man that never does is always th' man that could
&-done it better." : '
JV5
Curious Customs.
Snagglsley "A curious custom prevails in
Korea. If a man meets his wife on tho' street ho
ignores her presence entirely and passes her as if
she were a stranger."
Baggsley "Nothing curious about that. We'vo
got a custom very much like it."
Snaggsley "What is it?" ' '
Baggsley "In this country we treat our cred
itors tho same way when we meet 'em on tho
street that is, if we can't dodge 'em.".
The Pressing: Problem.
'Tis not grave problems of tho state
That at this moment doth concern us.
We ponder till the hour is lato
Upon the greed insatiate
Of our confounded furnace.
Pessimist.
"Why do you call Binks a pessimist?"
"0, because Binks believes that the best 'he
gets is always the worst of it." ' -
Will M. Maupin.
Overmeyer on Anarchy.
The Kansas City Times publishes the follow
ing article from the pen of one of the veteran
domocrats of Kansas, Hon. David Overmeyer: '
"I have long known that there are people call
ing themselves anarchists who do not believo in
murder or violence. The time has come, however,
when these should change their name. Anarchy
was always a bad name for people who want peace
and who yearn for a platonic age. They adopted
that name after it had gained an evil significance.
If they look forward to Utopia or to the millen
nium, they might call themselves 'Utopians' or
'Millennialists.' If they favor the idea of non
resistance to evil they might be 'Tolstoians.' The
word 'anarchy' should be blotted from the vocabul
ary of civilization.
"But while there arp avowed anarchists who
do not practice destructive anarchy, there are also
people who do not avow themselves anarchists
who really are such. Every officer who violates
his oath or who violates the constitution; every
officer or person who is willing to resort to mob
rule or to withhold even from anarchists their
lawful right to fair trial under the law; all of the
countless persons and institutions who evade and
disregard the law and cheat justice knowingly; all
who cover up lawlessness by coercing dependent
employes to commit perjury in their interests!
congresses and legislatures who pass knowingly
unconstitutional statutes and courts that per
vert justice; all these are anarchists in fact.
"Tho disease of the age is lawlessness. If it
would only cease in high places it would be com
paratively easy to stop it in low places.
"I believo that there should bo an act of con
gress to protect the life of the president and
other high officials in the line of succession to
the presidency and to protect the nation from the
Indignity and humiliation attending the assassina
tion or attempted assassination of its Jiighest
officials.
"I cannot agree with General Grosvonor, that
no legislation, is Jiecessary. I do, however, agree
with him that these assaults upon the president
do not constitute treason under the constitution as
it is. And I further agree with him that no con
stitutional amondment is necessary. Tho power of
congress Is In my judgment ample. It would be
strange indeed if this " nation should be found
powerless to protect its own head.
"This matter has, in my judgment, been settled
by the supreme court of the United States. Some
year3 ago David Nagle, a- deputy marshal of tht
Ul-H4 States, killed Judge Terry in California in a
defense of the person of Mr. Justice Field of the
supreme court, upon whom Terry was making a
murderous assault. The California authorities in
dicted Nagle for murder. Upon habeas corpus pro
ceedings tho supremo court of the United States
held that Nagle should be discharged; that his act
was justifiable. The court there laid down tho
rule that 'there is a peace of tho United States,'
and that in killing Terry, Nagle was keeping tho
peace of the United States.
"Now, if a deputy United States marshal is
authorized without an act of congress to keep tho
peace of tho United States by the protectibn of tho
life of a high official of the United States, and if in
keeping the peace ho is authorized to use such
force as is necessary, even to the taking of life,
why may not tho United States government itself,
acting through its congress, pass an act for tho
protection of the lives of its high officials and for
the preservation of the peace of the United States?.
And why may not the United States enforce such
an act through its own judicial tribunals?
"Such an act should not be limited to actual
assaults and murders, but the law should reaca
all who plot or conspire to assail or kill the prin
cipal officers of tho government."
Items of Interest.
France has over 10,000 soldiers in Africa.
Paris cabmen are not allowed .to smoke while
driving. One thousand seven hundred Indians in Arizona
own farms. .
V
California ivants to market 00 carloads of
peaches in the east.
In 1899 the French inheritance tax, netted a,
revenue of $38,387,700. ' ' ' " ' J Jl'
Tasmanlans claim to be the soberest peoplo
in the Australian colonies.
There are 10,000 square miles of Alaska terri- "
tory capable of cultivation.
The United States consumes 1,220,000,000 gal
lons of beer every twelve months.
A statistician figures that there are about
1,300,000 dogs in the United States.
The kitchens of the Shah of Persia, at Teheran,
are furnished at a cost of $4,000,000.
After a long investigation it is reported that
one man in every six in the British navy is a
total abstainer.
In 1900 the British Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children secured the conviction and
punishment of nearly 3,000 culprits.
South Dakota has more Indians than any
other statethe number being 11,000. Arizona has
25,000 and the Indian Territory 56,000.
When the United States collier Brutus ar
rived in New York from Manila recently it was
flying a homeward bound pennant 278 feet long.
The world's greatest single crop is potatoes.
The average annual supply is 4,000,000,000 bushels,
equalling in bulk tho combined wheat and corn
crops.
When the Jungfrau railroad is completed it
Will be the most remarkable one in the world.
It's highest station will be 13,608 feet above sea
level.
Russia relies on her climate as one of her
chief defenses against a foreign foe. The Russian
troops are especially well trained in winter evolu
tions. It was a Russian winter that turned Na
poleon back from Moscow.
Ants are creating havoc on the brick paved
strots of Council Bluffs, la. The ants burrow
into the sand under tho bricks and carry it away .
to unknown quarters. As a result the streots soon
become too rough to permit of travel.
Forest Park has been chosen for the site of
tho Louisiana Purchase exposition. It is the larg
est and finest park in St. Louis. It is reached by
practically all the cross-town lines of street rail
way and six steam roads run in close proximity.
It is watered by the Des Perez river and six small
tributaries. Much of the park is in a natural condition.