8
the Commoner.
Whether Common or Not.
Waiting.
What will I got when my ship sails home?
Wealth of India in jewels and gold?
Laces and silks from quaint looms old?
What will I get when my ship sails home?
Oft in the past I have had my dreams,
Dreams of the day when my ship hove to ,
Out in the harhor of golden gleams;
Safe though the tempest of ill luck blow.
Riding hull down with its precious'frelght,
Jewels and gold and its Bpices rare;
. Anchored and safe from an adverse fate, ,
White sails furled in tho evening air.
What will I got when my ship sails home?
Riches and wealth heyond compare?
Gold and jowelB a king might wear?
What will I get when my ship sails home 74;
Sitting I dream of a cargo rich .
Freighting my ship as it sails to me;
White sails set to the utmost stitch,
Plowing its way through tho sunset sea,
. Well do I know there is naught of gold,
Naught of jewels, nor silks, nor lace,
Filling tho space in my good ship's hold
Some thing far better now takes their place.
What will I get when my ship sails home? : '
Something far better than yellow gold.
Never did ship such a cargo hold
This will I get when my ship sails home:
Two little hearts beating warm and true;
Two baby faces that smile at me;
Four dancing eyes with a glint of bluo
Keeping close watch o'er the .sunset sea. .
,Two baby voices ;that lisp my name; .,-...
4 "Mother the sweetest 'aeath heaven's dome;.
-Laughter ard'love not gold and fame tW
- These will I get when my1 'ship sails -home. -
Ready.
The haughty manager of tho ConsolidatedMan
ufacturing Co. tapped the golden bell that stood
upon the desk. The private secretary atonce
obeyed tho summons.
"Have tho men been notified that wages are to
be reduced 15 per cent?" queried the manager.
"Yes, sir." . ' ' .
"Have they boon notified that tho rent, of 4ho
company cottages Is to be increased 25 per. cent?"
"Yes, sir."
"Haye they been notified that their union will
no longer be recognized?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good! Now send for the reporters of tho Daily
Administration Shrleker and I will dotail my plans
for aiding our employes by permitting them to
purchase stock in the Consolidated Manufacturing
Co. We must mako some sort of. showing to de
ceive the public.
nixed.
Tho delegation of agriculturists called upon
Senator Taxemall and exprossed a desire for an
audience,
"Why do you advocate a continuance of the
protective tariff?" quired tho chairman.
"Ah, to prevent our manufacturers from being
swamped by tho competition of foreign manufact
urers," replied Senator Taxemall, swelling with,
conscious pride.
"But what will happen to American labor when
our homo mills manufacture too much for homo
consumption?"
"That time will never como, because we are to
day enlarging our foreign markets and undersell
ing the foreign manufacturer."
"Then wo are to understand that the protective
tariff which prevents foreign competition enables
us to compete with foreigners?" queried the puz
zled agriculturalist.
"Yes, that is what I mean. Bypreventing tho
Competition of foreigners we aro enabled to com
pete with foreigners because tho competition of
foreigners being prevented, foreign competition
becomes that Is to say, by enabling our manu
facturers to compoto with foreigners by preventing
foreign competition or, as I was about to shy,
by competing with foreigners our home manu
facturers are protected against tho foreign com
petition that competes with our gentlemen, I
have here a fow copies of my famous speech on tho
Irrigation question. Take them home and read
them. As you pass out you will notice a box of
cigars on tho hall tree. Come again, gentlemen."
I Then the delegation walked thoughtfully away.
' "Whew! That was a narrow escape," said
Senator Taxemall. "These farmers are becoming
too almighty inquisitive. We've got to divert
their minds.
5MSplclOU5.
'- "i see by tho papers that one man has succeeded
in cornering tho prune output."
' "I'll bet ho is tho agent of the landlady, of our
boarding house."
Slow. '
Why should, tho Constitution bo .
A flying racer of the sea?
Of course behind its bound to lag
It can't keep up with e'en a flag.
Poets' License No. 32,333.
A .British commander named Kitchener,
Said, "The Boers are in tho last ditch, or near.'
But the grand proclamation
" Aroused the Boer nation,
To give Johunie Bull a new pitch on ear.
Somewhat mixed, but warranted by the facts.
v
In Bugdom. -..-,
Dr. A. M. Osquito "Victory! At last I have pre
served my name for future generations!"
Mrs. A. M. Osquito "What have you done now,
dearest?"
Dr. A. M. OEqulto "See this littlo vial, love?
Well, the Whitish substance you see therein will
make me famous. It is the virus which will render
our kind immune from tho terrible disease known
as Standardicus Oilibus."
-J.
. i
Wu.
' Goodby, Wu,
We'll miss you
v When you've cono to Lun'non. :'f' ;
Fact, might say, ! $ .:,..
You're p. K. J"
Such a jolly rum 'un. v
So long, Wu,
We'll miss you,
: Hope our memory haunts ye.
We're bereft,
Ax. that's left
Is jour undo Chaunccy.-
..
. ' Experiences.
Nothing is quite so unsatisfactory as boarding
'round while waiting for your household goods to
arrive.
There are times in a man's life when ho would
givo all ho has to bo aroused from sleep by tho
crying of his baby.
A crust of bread where love is affords greater
joy than a feast in a restaurant where rush and
hurry are the watchwords.
Not even the most ardent sportsman can find
pleasure in house hunting., '...,"
Easy Board. ,
The grizzled old Boor warrior stood unabashed
in the presence of tho haughty British officer.
"Why do you porsist in fighting? Aro you not
awaro that you have been thoroughly subdued?"
"Vas iss dot? Korvit ftghtin' von dose British
sopply tarins vos plenty eatin' givin'? Nein! Dos
iss vot I call pooty gude board, ain't it?"
However tho sarcasm was lost4 upon his ma-
jesty's military representative.
Next year, or ths year after, perhaps, tho
haughty warrior will take a tumble. Peradventure'
he may do so tho next time he gets within range
of Boer riflemen.
:
tts.
Mental Divcr5lon. :
"These critics of Kipling mako me tired. Kip
ling is writing for future generations."
"Perhaps he is, but what he writes sounds liko
he wrote it to keep from thinking of his Ameri
can brother-in-law."
W. M. M.
r r
Shark or Whale?
V
Is the billion dollar trust a sharlc or a whale?.
It is a ferocious and formidable monster read(y to '
devour everything in Its way, or is it a huge,
helpless mass, easy prey for smaller and more
active enemies?
Theso questions are hard to answer just now,
but some light may be thrown upon them by tho
outcome of the steel strike. The United States
Steel Corporation, the type of the overgrown trust,
has some advantages and some disadvant
ages as a fighting organism. It has a certain ad
vantage from its control of the bulk of the indus
try. When a small factory is closed by the strik- -ers
its business goes elsewhere. When half the .
factories of the Steel Trust are closed it can mako
up for the loss by working double time in tho
other half. It can dismantle mills and movo
them to more favorable locations. Even if its
whole business should be tomporarialy suspended
it would not be lost, for the work could not bo
dono outside, and orders would simply be de
layed.
Again the strikers in a single establishment
could be supported indefinitely by the other union
workers in the trade while their . employers wero
lesing money. But if all the workers" in the trade
strike there is nobody to pay benefits, and the
men must face destitution unh3S tho men of other
unions come to their rescue. Thus, though the
employers in a universal strike suffer less than in
an isolated one, the strikers suffer more. 6
On tho other hand, the trust has troubles from
which the independent employer is free. If thero
had been no United States Steel Corporation there
probably would havo been no steel strike this
year. Each constituent company of tho trust
could havo settled its relations with its men,
either on a union or a, non-union basis. If thero
had been a strike in one of the companies the
others would not have been affected by it. But
by the extension of a common ownership over the
entire field of tho industry scores of mills wero
dragged into a quarel with which they had no .
direct concern. The American Tin Plate Com
pany, which had no dispute with the union, and
tho Carnegie Company, which had not even a dis- :
cussion because tho union had no foothold in its
works, were alike caught in the strike whirl
pool. . Again, the relations of a gigantic trust with
the stock markets are so delicate that the slight
est interference with its orderly progress becomes
a calamity. Wall Street has been dominated by
the steel strikes for weeks. Every point knocked
off the price of the stocks of tho United States
Steel Corporation means a shrinkage of over
$10,000,000 in tho property of Investors and spec
ulators. At one time the steel stocks were thir
teen points below the price at which they might
have been expected to sell had thero been no
Btrike. That meant a loss of $130,000,000 in the
market value of tho securities. It meant that
many margins wero wiped out, many specula
tors ruined, and many investors frightened intp
disposing of their holdings at a sacrifice.
This gigantic depressing Influence weighed down
the whole market. Securities of railroads and in
dustrial corporations that hadnothing to do with
steel went down with tho rest.
No such consequences could follow a strlko in ,
a local or limited flolid. Even one of tho $100,
000,000 trusts that wore considered giants before '
tho "Morganeering" epoch could have had a strike
without notably affecting Wall Street. But a
labor conflict in which a body like the United
States Steel Corporation is involved is like a war
among first class powers, and responsible business
men will dread tho one as much as responsible
statesmen dread tho other. Saturday Evening
Post.
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