The commoner. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1901-1923, July 19, 1901, Page 8, Image 8
Jrf 8 & . Whether Common or Not. Cannln' Times. Ev'rybody's got t' hustle, peelin' fruit from sun t' sun, F'r tti' -summer's in th' middle an' th' cannin' time's begun.- , . , . . An' it's sortin out crab apples, an' it's pickln' berries, too, '.""- "While ma is washing fruit jars, an' th' kettles' full o' stew An pa is busy buyin' fruit an' sugar'ev'ry day ' ; ' 'Caus3 ma says fruit is better canned th' good ol'- fashioned way. An' I help her '1th th' peelin', mighty thankful 'at I am - A partner '1th my mother, cannin' things an' mak- in' jam. The Commoner. r J' '. front are reserved the women will flock to them, arid then wo omokers can use the three rear seats." Then it was we recognized the fact that bur friend knew a'thing or two about women. . ' Pa s'ays'it's boun t' break him," buyin' sugar by th' ton, . -J Butma jus' laughs an' says 'at pa is only havin' fun, , . An' that ho's jus' as fond o' fruit as any man can be ' Though not no fonder than a boy I know an' that' is me. My, how ma works an' hustles 'roun',' she's tip afore it's light A peelin', pittin', corin' things, until long after night. ,...;j An' I am full o' joy an' fruit an' happy as a clam-; When ma begins a-cannln' things .an' makin' jjlj an' jam'. ' ... .,;," .ut Th' work is purty hard sometimes, th' kitchen's awful hot, ' ; V .,, .v,., . With applo butter steam in. clouds. a raisin' from th' pot, . -.; - "" An' crabs a sim'rin' on th' stove with rather sour7' ish smell, A cpokin' all th' juices out t' boil down -into jell; An' me a-workin' back an' forth a paddle made o' oak A-stirin' apple butter till my ..back is nearly broke " . , . But munchin' juicy apples I'm so thankful 'at I 1 . am ' 4 partner in th' business, canning things" an' - makin' jam. . . . . Purty hot now, but nex' winter when there's lots o' ice an' snow -'.'.", : '. It'll be a mighty comfort f'r a feller 'jus' t' know That th' cellar's full p' goodies cans a settiri . roun' in rows ' , ' Waitin' f'r my ma t' open when the blizzard howls an' blows, Or when school is out I hustle t' get home mighty quick, 'Cause ma '11 meet me 'ith a piece, th' jam on good an thick. Jus think o' days a-comin'! Any wonder 'at , am So willin' fhelp mother cannin" things an' makin' jam? . " 2& '. . , A Or eat Discovery. The inveterate smoker rushed into the office with a smile upon his face. 'Made a great discovery!" he shouted. "I'll go down in history as a benefactor of the race." Naturally we asked him about it. . ".Instead of reserving the three rear seats of- the open qars for smokers I will tfave the three seats in front so reserved." "But that will allow the smoke to blow b'aclc into the faces of the women," wo protested. Then tly inveterate smoker looked on us wtth a pitying smile. "Not so," said he. "When the three seats Id X The Wise Guy. ' "Made a pile of money on the races yesterday," said he Wise' Guy. ' "Did you liaVo a tip?" "No J just used common sense. Saw a horse named Perspiration entered for the free-for-all and put .nty money on him. And Perspiration ran freely.". SS Same Fellow. . . . One thing I notice as the world ' I slowly travel through ' ' The man who growls about the heat .:' . Is the same man I'd always meet U-r '4 Kicking when cold winds blow. ' V-!,, " XZ ' -A Senslb!e Verdict "You admit that you killed this man?" queried the. stern judge. "I do," admitted Mr. S. Pace Filler,, the writer.' "Have you anything to say in your own de fense?" asked the judge. Mr. S. Pace Filler's face lighted up with a smile, and turning to the jury, he said: "Gentlemen, I spent -weary and torrid hours writing a jok.ejclculated.:to, make millions laugh and. forget the hpt, weather., M.'y victim was. the fprpmaji. en. th,e 'paper, . .VJtii malice aforethought hp deliberately and premedftatedly mixed my jolce up'witi p.n obituary'jipticp and " . , V "Enough" cjt'ied the judged.. . ,'l , And a few minutes later the jury rendered a verdict of "justifiable homicide." Uncle Eben. '' "It has been my experience," remarked Uncle Ebeh, as he turned the cabbage-leaf in his hat and took a fresh chew of finecut, "that th man that works hardest try in' t' keep cool is th' man that does th' most perspirin', an' that th' feller that grumbles most about th' work he has f do is the feller that raises th' weediest corn."' 25 But Mr. Morgan has his millions, while I have nothing but Mr. Morgan's stomach will not sub mit to boiled cabbage, and mine delights therein.. Mr. Rockefeller has more money than he can haul in a hay wagon, while I could haul mine in a matchbox but I get more fun out of a weed's salary than he does out of a year's dividends! Mr. Carnegie has millions and is afraid he wi.l die rich, while I have nothing but I am not wor ried to death by solicitors. Edward VII. rules a mighty nation, while I am only a subject but the smiles of my rulers is the sweetest welcome I can have when I go home at night Strange Isn't It. A man who can sit at a chessboard for three hours without moving a muscle, or. on the bank of a creek half a day waiting for a bite, can't sit still thirty minutes in church without feeling that he has. done enough work to kill a hired man. v Shop Talk. "Lovely corn weather," said the fat passenger. "I never .talk shop," replied the little man .across the aisle. "Huh?" ejaculated the fat passenger. Without further ado the little man held out his card; It read: t "J. P.ayson Smythe, Ghlropodtet." ' - - -4fv7 M. M. Aguinaido's Offer. The New York World and St. Louis -Post-Dispatch publish a Washington dispatch stating that during the presidential campaign last year, Aguin aldo sent messengers to Mr. Bryan offering to sur render unconditionally In case a democratic presi dent were elected, and proposing a contribution of money from the Philippine revolutionary treasury to the democratic election funds. The report says: "This remarkable disclosure throws a strong light on the real attitude of the insurgent govern ment and its leaders toward the United States. "During MV. Bryan's first visit to New York after his nomination at Kansas City, two agents of the Philippine republic appeared at the Hoffman House and asked to see the democratic leader. , Mr. Bryan declined to receive them'. The next day they returned and renewed the attempt to secure a private interview with Mr. Bryan, but agairiithey failed to see him. They insisted that their busi ness was of overwhelming importance, but de clined to givo a hint of the object of their mission. "Later in the day they were informed that ono of Mr. Bryan's friends would receive them In his behalf, but they were warned that they could not be treated with as officials of the revolutionary government, but as private individuals. "The two delegates of the Philippine govern ment waited on Mr. Bryan's representative at the time appointed and presented their credentials. They declared that with Mr. Bryan's approval Agiiinaldo would at once issue a proclamation announcing- that in the event of Mr. Bryan's election to. ithe;.. presidency the Philippine army would, without. .condition, surrender to the United States and trust the Bryan administration for a favorable form of government, founded on the principles of the constitution of the United States. ' "The delegates also announced that they were authorized to offer a contribution of $100,000' to the democratic national campaign fund. They ex plained that the Philippine people were convinced by the utterances of Mr. Bryan and his supporters that their only hope of justice and freedom lay in democratic success. On the other hand, the policy pursued by the McKinley administration had satis fled -Aguinaldo arid his people that the republican party had no intention to govern the Philippines other than as subject colonies. "Mr. Bryan's representative informed Aguin aido's envoys that the democratic party could have no dealings or bargains, directly or indirectly, openly, or covertly, with men bearing arms against the authority of the United States. They were told that the Philippine question was being fought out as an issue of domestic politics and that the Am erican people could thresh It out and settle it among themselves without any outside suggestions or Interference. ' "The democratic spokesman said that if Aguin aldo believed that his people's only hope of justice lay in Mr. Bryan's election, ho should not have be- lieved it possible that the democratic candidate would secretly traffic with armed enemies of his country. The Philippine envoys were advised to leave New York at once and to Inform their gov ernment that the democratic party would have nothing to do with them. "The two Filipinos were greatly surprised and declared that Aguinaido's intentions -were not un derstood. He asked for no promises, proposed no bargains and suggested nothing treasonable. All ho desired to know was whether a proclamation offering to surrender to President Bryan woulU help -or hurt the democratic party in its struggle for control of the government. M'r. Bryan's repre sentative declined to express an opinion. "The offer of $100,000 was again received and was for a second time declined. "The envoys were informed that their . pro posals would be considered offensive by Mr. Bryan and that if the republican managers got wind o the mattpr they might twist the facts into a scan dal grave enough to change the result of the elec - tion. The Filipinos were deeply disappointed, but immediatejy left New York and went to Toronto, Canada, ;5 communicate the answer of the demo cratic leader to Aguinaldo." - -