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Whether Common or Not.
THE OPTIMIST.
'Tain't no uso t' frown am1 growl;
Won't make burdens lighter.
Grumblin' at th' weather won't
Mako th' clouds grow brighter.
Ain't no uso t' mako complaints .
'Bout way things Is comin'-7-Bottor
laugh an' hustle on,
Cheerful tunes a-hummln.
Clouds may lower dark aroun';
Clear skies coi e tomorrow.
Look behind th' clouds today
An' brlghi Hnin' borrow.
Moanin' aint no way t' keop
Adverse winds from blowln'.
Pull your belt another notch
An' keep on a goln'.
Life may seem a barren wasto
Skurcoly worth th' tussles;
But things come to him who waits
If ho waits an hustles.
Flowers that you hope t' grasp
Often turn to thistle
Pick th' stickers from your nands,
Smile a bit an' whistle.
..-
AH
"f-
s
'-
t rt
Jif
Smiles an' songs an' cheery words
All wus made rr givln';
Ho who sows thqm far an' near
'., Finds that life's worth livin'.
' Though things' may come rough today,
Don't give way t' sorrow;
Trust in God an' patiently
Bide th' glad tomorrow.
i" ,
MODERN RAILROADING. . ,., -i
tA T.ho directorate of tho X. y. Z. & Etc. (railroad,
was in session to discuss tho matter of selecting
a goneral manager.
"What are your qualifications?" asked tho
chairman of tho applicant for the position.
The applicant smiled proudly as ho replied:
"Have a cinch on a bunch of congressmen;
caii elect senators from every state your road
touches; clan manipulate mail contracts to per
fection." "Have you ever had any practical experience
in railroad building?" queried the chairman.
With a disdainful wave of his hand the appli
cant remarked:
"Gentlemen, I tlKV-uht you were looking for a
modern railroad manager, not far a section hand."
BALLADE OF YE EASTEi. HATTE.
' -It was yo costlio Easter hatto
With flowers ryche and rayre;
And all thatte rubbered noticed thatte
Ye owner proud was fayre.
And as she pranced adown ye streete
With feelings so olate, ',
This taggo yo publick's eye did greote:
"Sale price, $1.98." . '
s
AN ANSWER.
"One scales the heights and the other sights
the hails." . ,
There ' must be a good conundrum for this
answer.
OUR OWN OMAR.
A rod, a lino, a babling brook,
A bit of lunch, a pipe, a book; x I .
Enough of bites to rouse fr.om dreams,
And then trudge homo while starlight gleams.
36
UNCLE. HIRAM.
"Solomon wus a wise man, Lut he foolishly
lent a lot o' time makin' proverbs that nobody
ays eny attention to.". .
"Th' feller that said patriotism is 'th' last
The Commoner.
refuge of a scoundrel' didn't know what he wus
talkin' about. It's generally th' fust."
"Th' man that's alius talkin' about th' good
he is goin' t' do fur his fellowmen never stop3
talkin' long enough t' do it."
"'Benev'lent assimulashun' is hog latin f'r
'grab quick an hold on.' "
"I hev doubts about th' man who goes away
from home t' do all his helpin'. It makes me think
he's tryin' t' cover up somethin' purty close t' his
own premises."
Be
ENOUGH SAID.
. . "What kind of a fellow is Watleigh?"
. '-'Well, Watleigh can talk intelligently about
making tatting and painting on china."
2
IN THE AFFIRMATIVE.
"How did your debate on the equal suffrage
question come out?"
"I lost. You'know I was to oppose it?"
"Yes."
. ."Just as I got up to start my wife arose in her
se'atand said, 'John!' Well, if you know how -my
wife can say 'John' you know why I lost the de
cision. W. M. M.
The Caracature Plant.
One of the most remarkable plants in the
whole vegetable kingdom i3 that known to botan
ists as .lubticia Picta, which has also been well
named "The Caricature Plant."
,i- At first sight, it appears to be a heavy, large
leafed plant, with . purple blossoms, chiefly re
markable for the light yellow centers of its dark
green leaves, which cause them ,to look as .if some
acid had been spilled upon them and taken the
color out wherever it had touched.
As I stood looking at this odd plant and
thinking what a sickly blighted appearance the
queer, yellow stains gave it, I wrs suddenly im
pressed with the fact that the plat was "making
faces" at me. Still unaccustomed as i was to see
ing plants Indulge in this strictly human amuse
ment, I was slow to believe it, and stooped to read
the somewhat illegible inscription on the card
below the plant "Justicia Picta, or Caricature
Plant." My first impression was correct then.
This curious shrub had indeed occupied itself in
growing up in ridiculous caricatures of the ' hu
man face divine," until it now stood, covered from
the topmost leaf down, with the queerest faces
imaginable. Nature had taken to caricaturing.
The fresh colored profiles stood out in strong re
lief against the dark green of the leaves.
A discovery of one of these vegetable marks
leads to the examination of a second and third
leaf, until all are scanned as closely and as cur-
iously as the leaves of the comic papers that form
the caricature plants of the literary kingdom.
What a valuable plant this would be fdr one of
our professional caricaturists to have growing in
his conservatory! When an order was sent to
him for a "speaking likeness" of some unhappy
politician, ho could simply visit his Justicia Picta
with pencil and paper in hand, and look over the
leaves for a suitable squint, grin, or distorted nose
to sketch from. He could, moreover, affirm with
truth that tho portrait was "taken from nature."
Cuthbert Collingwood, tho celebrated naturalist,
says of the Justicia Picta: "One of these plants
in the garden of Gustav Dore would be worth a
fortune to him, supplying him with a never-failing
fund of grotesque physiognomies, from which he
might illustrate every serio-comic romance ever
written." I have never heard of the cultivation of
the Caricature Plant in this country; but botan
ists tell us that it is a hardy shrub. I think we
should bo glad to see the funny faces on its leaves.
After all the lovely flowers we are called upon to
admire, I am sure that a plant evidently intended
to make us laugh would receive a warm welcoma
from our young people.
The Chinese appreciate the Caricature Plant,
and in some parts of China it is quite extensively,
cultivated. Perhaps some of tho funny grinning
faces on Chinese toys and ornaments are repro
ductions of the grotesque features on the leaves of
the plant.
innally, I must assure any unbelieving readers
of Ot. Nicholas that neither in this account of a
very remarkable plant, nor in the accompanying
illustration, has the writer drawn upon imagina
tion. The Justicia Picta really exists. It is a na
tive of the East Indies, and is a source of much
amusement and curiosity to both botanists and
travellers. St. Nicholas.
European Civilization Rebuked.
A Japanese newspaper, published in Aokio,
administers a souna rebuke to the boas.ted civili
zation of Europe on account of the atrocities of
the soldiers of civilized and Christian nations in
China. It has a right to do it, since by the ac
knowledgment of all the Japanese soldiery have
been remarkably free from offenses of the same
kind. It speaks in the name of humanity: "Tho
recognition of the brotherhood of man is the foun
dation of all social institutions. . . . One who
outrages humanity in any quarter of the globe is
guilty of a crime against the entire human race,
and is, therefore, the common enemy of mankind."
This Japanese newspaper does not speak as tho
ally of China. Japan stands with the European
powers and with America in hostility to the crimes
of the Chinese. One of her diplomatic representa
tives was murdered, -as was the German ambassa
dor. It is o pro-Chinese political sympathy that"
prompts such words as these:
It will be acknowledged that it is the duty of
a civilized nation to set a good example of human
ity toward a semi-civilized nation. But what Shall
we say when we are informed by our correspon
dents and have some of us seen with our own
eyes, that the proudly uniformed soldiers of civil
ized nations who have been staying in China since
last spring, when the Boxers rose in arms, have
exhibited the worst possible example by looting
property, violating women and girls of tender 'age,
and slaughtering helpless men and innocent wo
men and children? No wonder that terror and ex
citement among the surviving natives ar.e so ex
treme that they are easily shocked by the mere
sight of white soldiers on the road and run like
frightened deer when they see the hunter ap
proaching. ... We humble Japanese journal
ists, with our limited knowledge of English, ex
press our thoughts but awkwardly. Let our tears,
then, be more eloquent than our words!
This appears to us to be a noble and humane
utterance by an organ of a nation we commonly
call pagan, to which we send missionaries. It is
instinct with the spirit of the 'Sermon on tho
Mount. Boston Herald.
In Chicago.
It was a beautiful evening in June. The waters
of the Drainage Canal purled and rippled against
the prow of their gondola, virtually as any other
waters might. The occasion invited confidences.
"Dia you marry your first love?" asked the guest.
"Yes," replied Helene, naively,, while her color
deepened perceptibly, "my first, third, fifth and
seventh, thus far! Of course, I'm not in the least
superstitious, but there certainly is luck in. odd
numbers!" As the gloom gathered, the gondoliers
sang Italian love ballads, the abattoirs used their
smoke consumers, and, altogether, it was quite liko
Venice. Detroit Journal.
Trans means across," said the teacher, "can
any boy give me an illustration of its use?""
"Yes, ma'am," spoke up little Willie; " 'trans
parent,' a cross parent." Philadelphia Record.
o
