Nebraska Directory
TOWNSEND^GUfTcO^
Sporting Goods
Base Ball, Golf, Tennis, Fishing Tackle
1514 Famain St. Omaha
DOCTORS
MACH A MACH
DENTISTS
3rd Floor Paxton Block
16th & Farnam St*.,Omaha
Bsst equipped Dental Offices
m Osaha. Reasonable prtcea
Special discount to all people
livtn» outbid* ct Omaha
RHEUMATISM
Successfully treated with Iknim. It is the only
pobiuvc trea’ment known which will eradicate
the tissue destroying germs trom the system.
A successful treatment guaranteed. Call of write
lor lull particulars
Or. W. W. Bowser. 314 Bm Bldg., Omaha Neb.
TEI-CITT BAKBEK COLLEGE
LEARN BARBER TRADE
fo where they make Barbers. Electnc massage,
lydraulic chairs. Low rate tuition. Wages paid.
T«">oisfiiyeu. Call or write for free caiaiogand infor
XiUuU. USA DmsIm Si. Omaha, wr 1 M2 ft Si.. Uaeslu. Ash.
KID WEST ELECTRIC CO.
1207 Strut;. Otsak, Nek; 709 Cherry St.. Des Koines, low*
Distributors for tns Middle West General Electric
Cctnuar.t. Everything Electrical Mietz & Weiss Fuel
Oil Engine. Bali Steam Engines. American
Telephones SEND US TOUR INQUIRIES.
and supplies. Largest
IX^/L»P^eo house in the west. All
ClkliCULIir Eastmau(Tood* We pay re
rlNIwnlsIU turn postage on finishing.
THE ROBERT DEMPSTER CO.. 1813 Famam Street
Eastman KoSr X Co. Omaha. Neb.
QAUTT rC Livestock
IJ VJ % V iauw Commission Co.
a SHIPMENTS SECURED BT
* $100,000.00 CAPRfc&oc‘
BEST PRICES AND FILLS.
South Omaha Chicago Kas. City
T^mF
L5h ikglE1->*
(Amk toot Lumberman or write US m
for free sample. &
SOTPERLAND llROs. CO., OMAHA J
( TAGG BROS.
& MOORHEAD
x\0 Inc., LIVE STOCK
COMMISSION AGENTS
tlnlcn Stack Tart: Owm.»»
Hotel Loyal, Omaha
Take Dodge Street Car Prom Station®
ABSOLUTELY FIREPROOF
T>ofpc.1 Si.oc up without bath.
XvaLCo , $2.50 up with bath.
The Hotel With a Reputation
R. E. BRYANT—Proprietor!—O. E. CARNEY
McKenney Dentists
Ugt PRICES ALWAYS THE SAME
itti . jMft Best 12s Gold Crowns . |4 00
Uftb f flStf Badge Work, per Tooth . H.00
Be>t ?i!ver Fillings . . 50c
Winder Ptaies &0U. ts.00.flO.QO
Cleaning Teeth .... 6oc
13ii4 FAKNAAI ST..«*or. 14th,nUAUi 11 CD
Over U. F.Ticket Office UmAnA, HlD.
Hotel Castle
632 So. 16 SI., Omaha, Neb.
New, Absolutely fireproof
Rooms with private bath - - $1.50
Rooms with private toilet - * 1.00
Fred A. Castle, Proprietor
IT PAYS TO
SHIP CREAM
DIRECT
ALFALFA BUTTER CO., OMAHA
Ask us to put your name on
our quotation list that you may
compare our prices with others.
Moving Picture Theaters
Pay Big Returns on Yonr Money
Why not lnrestigate onr proposition? We equip
,'t ot the theaters with machines, chairs and an
other aceeswries In tbl. territory For Moyle
Merchandise aee “VAN” tVESTURN SUPPLY
CO., l»tb£ Hamer Streets, OMAHA. NEB.
REPAIRS
Please order through your nearest
dealer. Quick shipments our hobby.
OMAHA STOVE REPAIR WORKS, OMAHA. NEB.
ISHIPLISI _
DIRECT —Save all Agents’
Commission and Losses
Send for tags and our special
offer for new customers.
WATERLOO CREAMERY CO.
OMAHA, NEB.
The devil rejoices more in one hypo
crite than in ninety and nine genuine,
Simon Pure sinners.
WHY HOTTBT POPHAM'sT
ASTHMA MEDICINE
Gives Prompt and Positive Belief in Every <
Case. Sold by Druggists. Price 11,00. i
Trial Package by Mall 10c. i
WILLIAMS MFS. CO.. Props. Ctetebad, 0. j
DAISY FLY KILLER ££- aTffi; S
ties. Heat, clean, or
namental, convenient,
cheap. Lasts all
season. n»d»of
can'tspiller tip
over: will not soil or
1ajare anything.
Guaranteed effective.
All dealers orSsent
express paid for 81.0*
lAEOLD IOSQSIB, l»o Be Kill At*.. Brooklyn. B. T.
WJIMTFVI Salesman calling on Mill Supply. R©
” I LI# tail Hardware, and General Stores,
to carry Lac© Leather, Ham© Straps, and Halters,
and Blacksmith Aprons, on commission, Hxciasiv©
territory assigned. CaUfsniis Tansies Co., 8t. Leals. He.
OPTIWO Alfalfa 86, Sweet Clover 8H. Farms
V ► ► | for sal© and rent on crop payments.
JLLI/J J. MLLHALL, Boo City, Iowa
W. N. U., OMAHA, NO. 32-1916.
Wondrous Ways of Cupid
No Masculine Heart Is So Stubborn That It Cannot Be Tamed
Into Subjection.
By LAURA JEAN LIBBEY
(Copyright, 1916.)
Who shall say whore love begins.
How its subtle way it wins?
Gods, who love the rave they frame.
Cannot tell whence springs the flame,
; Man may reason long and well,
j But :an ne\er break the spell.
No man should rail at or sneer at
the remark that married life is the
happiest in the
world, for the
single man never
knows at wnat
place or time lie
will meet the one
woman who will
cause all his de
termination and
theories to melt
like fog before the
sunshine. Even the
men who are the
most strenuously
opposed to matri
mony have their
secret ideals—
some one type of
woman interest?!
them more than
others do — but
ujej are 11 aun
; enough with themselves to scout the
' idea that their ideals can be met with
| on this mundane sphere.
It is equally us less for a man de
I liberateiy to refuse to go to a place
which women frequent or refuse
poiutblank to l^e introduced to the sex
for which he h*s no use. Cupid does
BASEBALL AS KNOWN TODAY
WAS INVENTED BY ORIOLES
John McGraw Hugh Jennings and
Other Members of Famous Team
Originated “Inside Stuff."
The old Ba't;more team of 1894-o.
one of the greatest teams ever got
: together, originators of the new style
; if ball play, was a galaxy of athletes
! tvho were endowed with brains and
irawn, and made them count in the
jume of baseball. With a pitching
■ouff composed of such mediocre huri
*rs as Hemming, Esper cud Hopper,
with the old stars who were in the
;ere and yellow, such as Tony Mullane.
•Kid” Gleason and “Dumpling" McMa
hon, the team won three pennants. Ea
ter it added Arlie Pond and Jimmy
McJames. All these hurlers made rec
irds in games won owing to the bril
iancy of the team behind them.
A most peculiar fact about the fa
hitus Baltimores of 1894-5 was that
they were all at one time or another
Dsttery men. Johnny McGraw began
his career on the diamond as a pitcher,
rnd was credited with being very
tricky, but a fierce kicker. Hugh Jen
Joi n McGraw.
Sings was no Wise alarm as a catcher,
*nd his friends declare that he made
• mistake when he switched for an
Infield position. “Wee Willie” Keeler
Was a left-handed hurler, but lacked
Weight for pi’ehing, but seemed to
have the necessary avoirdupois to hit
a ball as hard is the best. The noted
| Ed Hanlon, manager of the team, used
I to pitch before taking to the outfield.
Then there was Joe Kelley of the
Torontos. When Joe was a full
fledged Oriole se played the outfield,
but Mr. Kelley won considerable fame
as a hurler of curves and otherwise.
Even "Big D;uT*’ Brouthers began his
baseball career ns a pitcher, but that
was away ba/V. Reitz, the second
baseman, also 'nfield F. Bonner, were
good catchers, -.fid spent part of their
minor league ddys behind the bat, and
not take him into consultation when
he lays his plans, jotting the name of
this man and that woman whom he
purposes to pair off down upon his ref
erence book. It's all cut and dried
for him. A man may balk and run
away, but he is caught and rounded
up another day.
No masculine heart is so stubborn
or fractious that Cupid cannot tame it
iuto subjection in his own unique way.
The one unfortunate part of it is that
Cupid gives no hint or sign that might
put a man on his guard or warn him
to be in readiness. Men meet /heir
future brides when they least expect
and they are not always duly im
pressed with their future heart mate
nt that. One young man who had to
be fairly coaxed and dragged to a bull.
4 rorcu cusmons are me gayest 4
^ of the gay. And they'are striped, j
4 in conformity with the general 4
+ trend toward striped effects in *
4 decorations and home accesso- 4
j ries of every sort. All the colors *
+ of the rainbow are seen in these 4
* cushions for the swinging sent. ^
f 'he settee, the rocker, and gen- 4
4 eral utility, but the combination ^
+ of tints have been made so skill- *j
4 fully that the result, while unde- *
J hued couch hammock, or in one j
4 °f awning stripes in black or 4
^ white, a group of these bright J
4 toned cushions presents a desir- 4
the famous Walter (Sieve) Krodie was
a clever hackstopper at one time. So
every player on that famous old team
won his spurs either as a pitcher of
curves or as a receiver of them.
Four of the famous squad are now
four of the greatest managers in the
game, and "Kid” G.easoti is in line
for a big league job us manager, and
it's not to be wondered at that the
Baltimore team of those days won pen
nants with J. McGraw, Hugh Jennings,
; Wilbur Robinson, Joe Kelley in its
j ranks, and Edward Hanlon, the mun
! ager of managers, at the helm.
i “Little Orphant Annie”
Says -‘Jim” Riley Was
the Meanest of Boys
Many will be surprised to learn that
there ever was a reai "Orphant Annie.”
“Orphant Annie” is now Mrs. Wesley
Gray. Although not a great many
miles from the poet's birthplace, Green
field, Ind.. Airs. Gray's farm is situated
in the real, old-fashioned back coun
try.
It'was a raw, bleak day when little
“Orphant Annie" was brought to the
Ililey home. She came from a primi
! tive country settlement in a rough
wagon, riding on a heavy board laid
across it for a scat. . . . She re
called the happenings at the Riley
home with amusement and delight.
“Jim Riley,” she declared, “was the
biggest tease and the meanest hoy I
ever seen. I used to wonder how he
learnt it all; how in the world a boy
only twelve years old could be so full
of mischief, and such an awful tease.
“He would draw ugly pictures of us
and write mean things heueath ’em,
and I tell yon. he just nachurly worried
the life out of us. Then he would make
his eyes red by rubbing them, and
pretend he was sticking gun caps in
them. Then he'd pull the gun caps out
of his nose. You cau't guess how he
scared us.
“Then lie had a hateful way of do
ing a trick that a circus man taught
him, with a button and a handkerchief,
by folding the handkerchief around
the button, and then undoing it, and
the button wasn’t there. That made
us awful curious, and we made him
do it again and again, until one time
he dropped it out of his sleeve.”—La
dies' Home Journal.
Fashion's Decrees.
Charmeuse gowns are prettily worn
with small flower-trimmed hats.
A great deal of shantung is used for
summer costumes.
A simple frock or coat it set off by
a double cape collar of
Alany of th* new collars amount to
capes, being full and reaching to the
waistline.
I --
Colleges* «>f Presidents.
Three pres .Tents of the United
States have been Harvard men, the
Adamses and Roosevelt. Two have
been Princeton men. Madison and Wil
son. Jefferson Monroe and John Ty
ler were from William and Mary. Polk
was graduated tfom the University of
North Caroline, Pierce from Bowdoin,
Buchanan frjM Dickinson, Hayes
from Kenyon, Garfield from Williams.
Arthur from Uf Ion. Benjamin Harrison
from Miami a,f3 Taft from Tale. Al
though there beve been a dozen sol
diers elected t; the presidency because
of their military achievements, Grant
is the < tly Wfcft Point graduate.
A Gypsy Picnic.
A gypsy picjrfc is an interesting af
fair. All picnickers should dress in
gypsy clothes; Vhich can be made of
gaudy cheesecloth, old silk and the
like, and as mtuy as possible should
ride on horsen. The gypsy queen should
be the hostess and should ride ahead
■with her chief. She should wear a yel
low dress, red sash and have her hair
arranged in real gypsy style. Immense
brass rings can be worn for earrings,
and tinsel can be used in the general
make-up of her costume.
In the gypsy wagon should be the
provisions—cooked baked beans, brown
bread sandwiches, coffee to be served
in tincups and any additional food the
queen cares to serve. Ited tablecloths
should be used in place of white ones,
and as much rusticity as possible add
ed to the entire program.
Big Agricultural Warehouse.
New Orleans has the largest agricul
tural warehouse in the world. It has !
a capacity of 2,000,000 bales of cotton
and is adapted to the storage of all
other packed commodities, such as
sugar and coffee. It was built at a
cost of $3,500,000 by the state of Louisi
ana and is said to reduce the
cost of handling any agricultural
commodity 40 per cent. There are 23
acres of ground under roof.
It’s a woman’s natural faith that en
ables her to believe only the things
she wants to when she knows she
doesn’t
accompanying his chum, saw there a
young w oman so plain of face thnt he
marveled why the good-looking young
man dancing with her should he eager
to secure her for the next waltz, the
next and yet others. During the course
of the evening, the young mnn who
had fought so hard against coming was
i introduced by the friend he had ac
! eompanied to the very plain young
woman. She looked up with a smile
and that smile so radiated her whole
face that her new acquaintance looked
upon her in wonder. It charmed him,
interested him, made her almost beau
tiful. Her gracious personality, sweet
ness and wholesomeness captured the
citadel of his heart in that first mo
ment of meeting. He could not for
get her or the sound of her voice or
the touch of her hand. He who hud
laughed at matrimony and the notion
that, it took a woman's love to make
a man really happy and life worth liv
ing was manly enough to confess that
he had erred in his judgment, when he
thought the careless life of a buchelor
free lance was happier than that of
the man who had placed himself in
i the hands of a good woman to be loved
! and cared for in the married state.
) Cupid very often allows a man to go
| a great length ere he halts him. He
j can only run the length of his rope—
; linding the matrimonial noose at the
J end of it.
! “If we live, we love.”
Poultry Pointers, i
' By H. L. KEMPSTER. Missouri College
of Agriculture.)
As tlic chicks grow they need more
, room. Ii does not pay to let them
' crowd.
Beware of musty, moldy, sour or de
cr.yed food. It is sure to cause trou
ble.
Tough grass is of no value its a green
food. Better sow some quick-growing
I crop.
Feed hoppers greatly reduce the
i work. If they are kept filled, the
I clucks will never go hungry.
If your chicks are not doing well
something is wrong. Look out for lice
and for worms in the intestines.
Two-year-old liens had better he sent
to the market. They seldom pay for
their feed if kept over a third sea
| son.
Grit and oyster shell should be in
cluded in Jhe ration for both young
j ani1 old. To neglect this would he
; poor economy.
l'oung stock will do better if not
compelled to pick their living with the
j old. There will also be less trouble
from lice.
Shade is one of the most important
essentials during the hot months. Get
| the chicks into the orchard and corn
field.
A growing chick will not thrive on
short rations. If the right kind of food
is fed. there is little danger of over
feeding. especially if they are given
plenty of range.
Supplement the regular feeds with a
wet mash—fed crumbly. Feed all the
chicks will clean up before going to
roost, hut none should he left in the
trough, for it will sour.
Mark the pullets this fall so that you
will know just how old your hens are.
A leg hand on the right leg one year
and on the left leg the next will assist
in culling the flock. A hog ring will
serve the purpose.
Life Bright for “Kiddies”
Whose Parents Follow the
Advice of Luther Burbank
Luther Burbank, tlie famous won
der worker among flowers, fruit* and
vegetables, has not forgotten to study
the rearing of children as well. Ac
cording to his advice the child’s edu
cation should be largely of his own
working out in a happy world of
mud-pies, grasshoppers, tadpoles, and
frogs. There should be trees to climb,
brooks to wade in. various animals to
pet, and all kinds of little creatures
to study. “Any child who hns been de
prived of these has been deprived of
the best part of Ills education,” says
Mr. Burbank.
Many mothers agree with this idea,
and would discourage any actual book
work for very young children beyond
perhaps reading and writing. Little
girls should be sent off to skip and
dance and cook instead of to do sums
and dictation. The oculists tell us
that no child should read type In which
the capitals are under a quarter of an
inch high and that he should use his
eyes if possible on large things and
out in the open. Eye-strain and ef
tort of attention are source of the
nerve disorders too common in chil
dren.
Wise ana Otherwise.
Time may be money to everybody
but the loafer.
And often the shoplifter finds it dif
ficult to take things easy.
Dead men tell no tales, but some of
their widows may draw pensions.
As long as a man can keep his tem
per he isn’t his own worst enemy.
A bachelor says that matrimony is
one of the blanks in love's lottery.
A woman’s idea of an entertaining
man is one who says nothing and lis
tens.
Spendthrifts may be so called be
cause they have nothing in common
with thrift
A girl’s best insurance against trou
ble is to make n confidant of her moth
er.
The war has exerted a strong influ
ence on American migration to Eng
land, 53 Americans having been nat
uralized as Britishers in 1914, where
as only 244 had taken such a step in
the ten previous years.
Montclair (N. J.) women teachers
were Ordered to carry pincushions on
their spring outing, because in the
past tents have been damaged through
their use, as receptacles for hatpin*
and other feminine implements.
Cause Explained.
“There was great commotion on the
pier as the junior officer of the marine
corps stepped ashore.”
“What’s the matter?” asked a curi
ous bystander?
“Sub marine’s just arrived in port,”
was the reply.
THE EUROPEAN WAR A !
YEAR AGOTHIS WEEK
August 7, 1915.
Germans attacked Kovno and
Ossowetz.
French beat Germans in the
Argonne and the Vosges.
Germans captured Sierock on
the Bug.
Germans driven back near
Riga.
Heavy figthing at Ari Burnu j
j and Sedd-ul-Bahr, Gallipoli.
Two British and one Swedish
vessel sunk by submarines.
August 8, 1915.
Germans crossed Vistula and
took outlying fort of Novogeor
| gievsk.
Violent attacks on French at
Liege repulsed with great loss.
German fleet repulsed in at- j
tack at mouth of Gulf of Riga.
German steamer Meteor sank
British patrol steamer Ramsey
and was blown up to avoid cap
ture.
August 9, 1915.
Germans bombarded Kovno
and Lcmza.
Russians forced Germans
back in Riga region.
British captured 1.200 yards
of German trenches near Hooge.
British destroyer Lynx sunk
by mine and cruiser India by
torpedo.
Allied submarine sank Turk
ish battleship Barbarossa.
French aeroplanes attacked I
Saarbrucken.
August 10, 1915.
Austro-German forces cap
tured Lomza.
Russians began to evacuate
Kovno and Dvinsk.
British position at Anzac, Gal
lipoli, consolidated with Suvla
bay-Anafarta fronL
Zeppelins bombarded English
j east coast.
August 11, 1915.
Germans reached Warsaw-Pe
trograd railroad southeast of Os
! trov.
German crown prince’s army
attacked strongly in the Ar- ;
gonne.
Italian submarine torpedoed
! and sank Austrian submarine
U-12.
British submarines torpedoed
Turkish cruiser Breslau.
German submarines sank ten
allied vessels.
August 12, 1915.
Germans repulsed by Russians
j near Riga and near Kovno.
Siedlce captured by Germans.
Austrians repulsed Italians
attacks near Zagora.
| >
August 13, 1915.
Germans advanced toward
Brest-Litovsk.
French began offensive in
Arras region.
German submarine sank Brit
I ish transport Royal Edward in
| Aegean; 1,000 lost.
l
WORTH KNOWING
Dickinson college, Carlisle, Fa., is
132 years old this year.
One New England statistical office,
the proprietor believing in fresh air,
has offices that are practically out of
doors, making it necessary in winter
for the typists to wear gloves, and as
these cause frequent errors through
j striking two keys instead of one, small
I curved sticks have been put in use
with which, instead of the fingers, the
keys were struck safely, one at a time.
The death rate from wounds in the
war is less than one-half as great as it
was a year ago. Dr. Jacques Bertillon,
medical statistician in the French
army, declares that by hardship and
exposure the men have become so
' toughened that they can now stand
twice as much as they could last year.
Then 45 out of every 1,000 wounded
died, while now less than 20 succumb.
A process has been perfected in
France for applying colors to glass by
heat, so that stained glass windows
can be made without fastening many
pieces of glass of different hues to
gether.
Two Pennsylvania inventors have
patented a slingshot with a sight to
aid in aiming it.
Telescopic spectacles have been in
vented by a German for persons with
extreme near sight.
While searching the ruins of the
home of Dr. C. H. Barton, in Spencer,
Mass., which was destroyed by fire,
firemen found a pocketbook containing
$355 in bills concealed between mat
tresses. Although everything else in
the room was burned, the bills were
undamaged.
Consul Harry G. Seltzer, at Breslau,
Germany, reports that one of the Bres
lau tinfoil factories has succeeded in
providing a substitute for tinfoil by !
producing zinc foil. The new product !
Is not to be distinguished from tinfoil j
and is supposed to render the same
service.
A wire clip, to be screwed into a
door frame, has been, invented for
holding milk bottles out of reach of
cats and dogs.
Waste steam from Its municipal wa
ter and light plant is used by an In
diana city to heat its courthouse and
two public schools.
Next to the United States, Germany
has the greatest number of telegraph
offices and the largest line mileage
among nations.
In Europe the hydrogen gas which Is
a by-product of the manufacture of
oxygen is utilized to harden oils for
use In the soap industry.
Hot Weather
Meats
Veal Loaf, to serve cold: Cooked Corned Beef, select
and appetizing. Chicken Loaf, Ham Loaf and Veal Loaf,
delicately seasoned. Vienna Sausage, Genuine Deviled
Ham and Wafer Sliced Dried Beef for sandwiches and
dainty luncheons.
Insist on Libby *s at your grocer j
Libby, McNeill & Libby, Chicago
—— i-_ r
Bumper Grain Crops
f Good markets—High Prices
__ Prizes Awarded to Western Canada for
\ Wheat, Oats, Barley, AlfaffaandGrasses
\ _ The winnings of Western Canada at the Soil Products
\ Exposition at Denver were easily made. The list
• \ comprised Wheat, Oats. Barley and Grasses, the most
—J important being the prizes for WTheat and Oats and
sweep stake on Alfalfa.
Mo less important than the splendid quality of Western
Canada’s wheat and other grams, is the excellence of
the cattle fed and fattened on the grasses of that
country. A recent shipment of cattle to Chicago
topped the market in that city for quality and price.
*
Welter* Canada prndaced ia ISIS one-tkird at mack wheat
> a* all nf the United State., nr over 300,000 000 katkeia.
Canada in proportion to population has a greater
exportable surplus of wheat this year than any
country in the world, and at present pnees you
can figure out the revenue for the pro
ducer. In Western Canada you will find
good markets, splendid schools, excep
tional social conditions, perfect climate
- >a and other great attractions. There
is do war tax oa land and do conscription.
Send for illustrated pamphlet and ask for reduced railway rates, iniormation as to best locations, etc.
Address Superintendent immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or
W. V. BENNETT, Room 4., Bee Bldg., Omaha, Nobr.
Canadian Government Agent
STAFF AFTER REAL MONEY
Temptation Was More Than Any
Newspaper Men Could Be Ex
pected to Resist.
A visitor to a small country town in
England unwittingly “held up” the lo
cal newspaper. Having lost his dog,
an animal that he prized very much,
he rushed to the newspaper office and
handed in au advertisement offering
$50 reward for the return of ids pet.
Half an hour later he thought he
would add to his advertisement the
words, “No questions asked.” So he
hurried to the office again.
iVhen he got there the place was
empty save for a small boy, who looked
very sulky. I
"Where's the staff?" asked the tour
ist, glancing round the deserted room.
“Out looking for your dog,” replied
the boy, who was evidently aggrieved
at being left behind.—Youth's Com
panion.
ITCHING. BURNING SCALPS
Crusted With Dandruff Yield Readily
to Cuticura. Trial Free.
Cuticura Soap to cleanse the scalp of
dandruff crustings and scalings, and
Cuticura Ointment to soothe and heal
ltcliings and irritations. Nothing bet
ter, surer or more economical than
these super-creamy emollients for hair
and scalp troubles of young or old.
Free sample each by mail with Book.
Address postcard. Cuticura. iw>pt. L,
Boston. Sold everywhere.—Adv.
The Little Matter.
A certain captain of Industry, com
plimented on an immense w ar contract,
said in New York:
“One beauty about those contracts is
their strict honesty. There are no
paints to grease.”
“It wasn't always so in war con
tracts. In fact, they tell a story about
n war contractor who once broke the
silence of his club reading room with
a dreadful sigh.
“ ‘What's the matter?' a brother con
tractor asked.
Alas. alas: said the first con
tractor. ‘I've just bought five million
pairs of shoes at a dollar a pair and
sold them to the army for six dollars,
and I'm afraid the loss will ruin me.’
‘‘‘Loss? Loss?' said the other con
tractor. ‘What are you talking about,
man? On five million pairs of shoes,
with a five-dollar profit, how can there
he a loss?’
“ ‘My dear fellow.’ said the first con
tractor, sadly, ‘you forget the little
matter of commissions.’ ”—Washington
Star.
Daughter’s Idea.
Mrs. Brown was in the habit of in
troducing her big daughter ns. “This
is .fane; she Is only fifteen—you’d
never think it, would you?”
At last the girl protested. “It’s mean
of you to tell everybody how young I
am. I could have a lot better time if
you didn’t."
“Perhaps yon could. But I don’t pro
pose to have people saying, alter
you've been out in society a couple of
seasons, ‘Don't tell me Jane Brown is
only twenty—why, she was a grown
girl years ago.’ ”
‘Just the same.” retorted the daugh
ter, “you wouldn't like it if I intro
duced you to my friends as, ‘This Is
my mother. She’s only forty-eight—
you wouldn't think it, would you?' ”—
Judge.
Appreciation of a Prodigy.
‘‘Bliggins is still talking about the
bright things his boy says.”
“Well, I envy him. It must be great
to have a boy who entertains himself
thinking of bright things instead of
banging on the cellar door with a board
or experimenting with a shotgun.”
A woman can’t throw a stone, but
did you ever see oue who couldn’t
hurl defiance?
XKT tin 1C Women ms well as
’* llv *|J men are made miaer
rT A able by kidney and
* bladder trouble Thou
Rl AMF sands recommend I>r.
DLAltlE/ Kilmers Snarno
Root the great kidney remedy At drug
gists In fifty-cent and dollar -.z s. You
may receive a sample size bottle by Par
cel Post, also pamphlet telling about It.
Addresa Dr. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton,
N. Y.. and enclose ten cents, also mention
this paper.
It is much easier to touch people's
sympathies than their pocket
War.
Officer—What are your duties. my
man?
Outpost—Ow; to mess around ere
till the relief comes.—Ixindoii Opinion.
Maybe.
“Reforms are being carried on ery
where just now."
“Yes. and after we have reformed
some of our reforms we will probably
have matter in pretty good .shape
again."
Warned.
“Is old Skinflint an approachable
man?"
“Yes. very, provided yon don't care
what happens to you after you a(>
proach him.”
Modern Villain.
Through the shrubbery Marcus Pelf,
ihe wealthy rejected suitor, watched
Harry Harrison, the village black
smith. clasp Ruth Roberts in his strong
young arms.
“Curse 'em !” he hissed. “I'll have me
revenge! I’ll buy ’em an automobile
for a wedding present, and then look
on gloatingly while they mortgage the
blacksmith shop to buy gasoline!”
Flush.
“If yon please, sir,” pleaded the
bookkeeper. “I’d like to have three
weeks' vacation this year instead of
two.”
Have you any particular reason for
making such a request?" asked his de
ploy er.
“Yes, sir. I've saved up more money
this year than I usually do. and I'm
afraid I won’t be able to spend it all
in two weeks.”
Tea and Coffee
For Children?
These beverages contain
drug elements that hinder
development of both body
and mind, especially in
children.
Nowadays, for tlieir chil
dren, wise parents choose
POSTUM
This delicious table bev
erage, made of cereals, has
a wonderfully satisfying
flavor—a flavor much liice
the higher grades of coffee
(but without any of cof
fee’s harm.) Postum is a
true, pure food-drink that
has helped thousands to
forget the coffee habit.
“There’s a Reason”
Grocers everywhere
sell POSTUM