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About The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917 | View Entire Issue (July 20, 1916)
y WESTERN GMIMM MID THE UIIDHWBy It Is Essentially an Agricultural Country. AVestern Canada is tbe Mecca of the Jund-hungry man who wishes to earn a good living from the soil and save up money to take care of him in his old age without paying a fancy price for the privilege. AVestern Canada is the great wheat producing section of the North Amer ican continent, with an average pro duction of more than 30 bushels to the acre as compared with an average of IT bushels to the acre in the States. Wheat raising can hardly be made profitable on land that costs from $50 an acre up unless such land will pro duce a much higher than a IT bushel average, or unless tlie price of the cereal reaches an excessive figure. The initial investment of S50 an acre is more than the average man can af ford to make if he expects to raise wheat and to make a success of it. A good homestead of 160 acres can still be secured free in AVestern Can ada and additional land admirably sa ted to the raising of wheat can be secured at so low a cost per acre that can be made extremely profitable. s^N'o other part of the world offers -si.ch tremendous opportunities at the present time to the ambitious young farmer as the tliree great provinces of IAA'estern Canada. It is worth the while of the Innd ■Aungry man to cease his depressing search for local cheap land or for land that is not entirely worked out by long cropping and to look outside his own district. Western Canada is a country that should receive the con sideration of all such men. The West ern Provinces of Manitoba, Saskatche wan and Alberta are essentially agri cultural territory. Out of 4.8 million acres there are . 180 million ucres of first-class agricul tural land actually available for de velopment—a block three and a half times ns large as the total land area of Minnesota, and equal to the combined land areas of Minnesota, Iowa. Wis consin. Illinois and Indiana. But whereas the population of the five states mentioned Is fifteen million people, the population of Western Canada is only about one and three quarter millions. It has been said that) the average yield per acre of wheat in the United States last year was 17 bushels. This average does not. of course, represent the efficiency which may have been reached by individual farmers or by individual states. However, place against this figure the fact that the 1915 Western Canadian average—the average from neariy twelve million acres—was over 30 bushels. In the case of the Province of Alberta, the t average reached 3H.84 bushels per acre. ▼ There are already a large number of American farmers in Western Canada, so that the newcomer could never— overlooking the fact that the same language is spoken—feel himself in an alien country. There seems, in fact, a tendency to establish little colonies composed of those coming from the same sections. The characteristics of the country, and the climate and season, are very much the same ns in' Minnesota or North Dakota. Social conditions bear a family resemblance. Education is free, and is good : its cost being defrayed partly by taxation, partly by grants from the Canadian Government, from the sales of school lands, of which, when the country was first surveyed, two sections in every township were allocated. Taxation ;n every rural district, in many towns and cities, is based practically on land values alone, improvements of all kinds being exempted.—Advertisement. Indorsement Guaranteed. “Of course you have an echo some where around the place,” said Miss Cayenne. “A number of them," replied the ho tel man. “Shall I direct you to them?” “I don't want one for myself. There is a man in the party who insists on being absolutely agreed with every time he says a word.” Important to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and Bee that it Bears the Signature of In Use for Over 30 Years. Children Cry for Fletcher’s Castoria A Fellow Feeling. W Mr. Landry, a wealthy though niiser t !y man, was one day relating to a I Quaker a tale of deep distress and concluded by saying: “1 could not but feel for him.” “Verily, friend,” replied the Quaker, “thou didst right in that thou didst feel for thy neighbor, but didst thou feel in the right place? Didst thou feel in thy pocket?” The Saving Syllable. “You must take care not to let your position seem pathetic.” “Never fear,’ replied the man whose hat had been picked out of the ring. Til make it sufficiently epithetlc to prevent it from seeming merely pa thetic." IF Ton OB ANY FRIEND Differ with Rheumatism or Neuritis, acute or chronic, write for my FREE BOOK on Rheuma tism—Its Canse and Cure. Most wonderful book ever written, it's absolutely FREE. Jesse A. Case. Dept. C. W., Brockton .Mass.—Adv. Going Back. “How’s things in I’lunkville?” “Quiet.” “How's your piano fund coming on?” “Well, every time we give an enter tainment to raise money we get deeper into debt." What Bait? “Are you inviting that queer fish Mr. Jimson?” A “Yes, I’m dropping him a line.”— -^■(Boston Evening Transcript ’ Pride in work well done is a virtue; hut pride based on mediocrity Is intol erable. DRUGGIST PRAISES POPULAR KIDNEY MEDICINE I have been selling Dr. Kilmer’* i. w smp-Iko°t for fifteen years and during that time have heard nothing but praises from nw customers for the benefits re ceiyed from its use. Without exception, 18 ^ u* most popular kidney remedy on the market and one of the best. Very truly vours. CHAP. A'. FRASER. F.x. Member Okla. Board Pharmacy. Dec. 8th, 1915. Red Rock. Okla Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do For You Send ten cents to Dr. Kilmer A Co., Binghamton. N. Y., for a sample size bot tle. It will convince anyone. You will also receive a booklet of valuable infor mation, telling about the kidneys and blad der. When writing, be sure and mention this paper. Regular fifty-cent and one dollar size bottle* for sale at all drug store*.—Adv. Job for Photographer. “1 want yer to take n picture of our Joe here.” said the fond pureut to the country photographer. Joseph was requested to stand in a certain attitude and look towards the photographer. That gentleman’s spe ciality was quick developing, and in a short space of time a negative was placed in the mother’s hand. She looked at it very uneasily for some time. anQ then remarked: ‘‘I seen a notice in the window there to say you can do photos to custom er's desire, so I'd be obliged to yer if you could put another face on Joe. Y'ou see, it's to be sent with an ad vertisement which said ‘they wanted a boy, smart-looking and honest.’ ” Seals Can Drown. It is a curious fact that the fur seal was once a land animal. The baby seals are actually afraid of water; they would drown if thrown into it. and have to learn to swim by repeated efforts. When once they have been taught to swim, however, they soon forget to walk. There nre in existence only two im portant herds of fur seals, one of which has its breeding ground in the Commander islands, belonging to Rus sia, the other in the Pribilof islands, belonging to the United States. Of these the latter is much the larger. The Pribilof islands are government property, and thus it happens tluit the United States government finds itself the owner of by far the most valuable herd of fur seals in the world. Taken Philosophically. An Irishman was sauntering home ward from his labors one pay day when he passed a quarry where some blasting was being done. Just as he passed a blast came and blew one of his hands off. The quarrytuen quickly gathered about and condoled with him while awaiting the ambulance. “What a fearfui thing!” cried one of them. “Oh, well," answered Murphy, “it might ha’ been worse!” “How's that?" asked the man. “It might lia' been the hand wid me wages in.” Wedding Presents. "1 want to get something suitable for a wedding present.” “Yes. ma’am. Miss Bi%wn. please show the lady something for about $3 that will look as though it might have cost HEAT FLASHES, DIZZY, NERVOUS Mrs. Wynn Tells How Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound Helped Her DuringChange of Life. Kichmond, Va. — “After taking ■even bottles of Lydia E. Pinkham’s v egeta Die com pound I feel like a new woman. I al ways had a headache daring the Change of Life and was also troubled with other bad feelings com mon at that time — dizzy spells, nervous feelings and heat flashes. Now I am in better health than I ever was and recommend your remedies to all my friends. ’’—Mrs.Lena Wynn, 2812 E. 0 Street, Richmond, Va. While Change of Life is a most crit ical period of a woman’s existence, the annoying symptoms which accompany it may be controlled, and normal health restored by the timely use of Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. Such warning symptoms are a sense of suffocation, hot flashes, headaches, backaches, dread of impending evil, timidity, sounds in the ears, palpitation of the heart, sparks before the eyes, irregularities, constipation, variable ap petite, weakness and inquietude, and dizziness. For these abnormal conditions do not fail to take Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vege table Compound. Dl irvLOSSES suselt prevented ULAUV I r/SESrS^! wl men. because they protect where other fi . vmet! nee fail. far booklet andtesti mania!*. 104dm *kc. nacMss pnu. $t.oa 504OSD pkc. Kscktsc Pills. $4.00 Use any Injector, but Cutter* s simples! and »tlongest. The superiority of Cutter products is due to over 15 yean of specializing iu VACCINES AND SERUMS only. Insist on Cutter’s. IX order direct. ? ^jteCtttgmuwr.iimw.ca.irCHaw.a “TAhkEfc-i hair balsam A toilet preparation of merit Helps to eradicate dandruff. _ Po** R set nr mi Color mmd B—uty toCray or Fadod Hair. _igfcBgd»l:SDatPrnsgist«. j I I Fnebraska j :STATE news: t — : DATES FOR COMING EVENTS. July 25—Nebraska Democratic con vention at Hastings. July 25.—Nebraska Republican Con vention at Lincoln. July 28-29—Northeast Nebraska Edi torial Association Meeting at Nor folk. July 30-August C.—Summer Assembly of the Church of Brethren at Beat rice. At:g. 7 to 11—Tractor Week in Fre mont. Aug. 7 to 10—State Press Association's N..rth Platte Valley excursion. August 7 to 12—Merchants’ Market Week in Omaha. Aug 9 to 12.—Frontier Days Celebra tion at Silver Creek. August 10.—Second annual barbecue at Seward. Aug. 17-27—Seventh Day Adventists’ Conference at Hastings. Aug. 17 to 20.—Biennial Nebraska Saengerbund festival at Grand Is land. Aug. 21-25—Mo. Valley Photographers' Association Convention at Lincoln. Sept. 4 to 7.—Nebraska State Fair at Lincoln. Sept. 13.—Annual Convention State Federation of Labor at Fremont.. Nebraska's corn crop this year will amount to 180,000,000 bushels, accord ing to the July 1 forecast made by the bureau of crop estimates. United States department of agriculture. Last year the final estimate of the corn crop in Nebraska was 213,000, 000 bushels. The winter wheat crop in Nebraska on the same date was within 1,000,000 bushels of the final estimate for last year. The compara tive figures were: 1916, 65,700,000; 1915, 66,618,000. The oats crop on July 1 was forecasted at 69,900,000 bushels compared to 70,400,000 bush els in 1915, and the potato crop at 9.300.000 barrels or about 22,350,000 bushels compared to 11.550.000 bush els last year. The production of ap ples this year in Nebraska was es timated July 1. at 791,000 barrels, or about 2,350,000 bushels compared to 1.267.000 barrels in 1915. Or special interest to employes operating under the workmen's com pensation law in Nebraska is a case just decided by District Judge Cos grave in Lincoln in favor of the Ne braska Manuafaeturers Casualty asso ciation. which had insured the defend ant. A demand had been made by an injured employe for $11,477 de spite the fact that the wage percent age and allowance for medical atten tion had been paid as required by law, the plaintiff insisting that he was entitled to compensation for per manent disability. The judge held that the case was prematurely brought and declared in op«-n court that there was no excuse for litiga tion in such instances where the com pensation law protects the rights of all without court precedure. The progressive state committee af ter a short executive session at Lin coln passed a resolution approving and endorsing the action of the na tional committee taken at Chicago June 26, whereby it endorsed the candidacy of Charles E. Hughes for president, and •ec-ommend to all pro gressives that they give him their support in the coming campaign. The committee also endorsed Judge Sut ton of Omaha for governor, J. L. Ken nedy of Omaha for U. S. senator. Ad- I dison Waite for secretary of state, G. W. Marsh for auditor and W. H. Rey- ! nold for state treasurer. The township levies Tor Cuming county for the year 1916 show a re markable increase in the amount asked for road purposes. The levy this year for the entire county, out side of the municipalities, is 132 mills, as against 92 mills for last year. In the years preceding, from the year 1899 to 1912 and 1913 the levy for road purposes was from 30 to 40 mills for. the entire county. Kearney people are somewhat alarmed over the death of BesEie Lemon, age 5, of infantile paralysis, the malady which is taking hundreds of New York babies. This is the first death from this cause in Kearney, and no other cases are known to exist. A frontier day’s celebration will be held in Silver Creek August 9, 10, 11 and 12. Eleven people were injured, none seriously, which is considered remark able when a big truck loaded with members of the Recreation club, re turning from a picnic ran off the wooden bridge over the Platte into the river near Kearney. The biggest wheat harvest in the history' of Adams county, with yields estimated at forty bushels per acre, has started Urgent demands for help, coupled with high prices, has robbed the Hastings paving contractors of half of their employes. Tom Meyers, solicitor for a Fre mont paper, who makes his territory in a roadster, captured a coyote after he had chased it for about a mile, as he was coming home from a trip in Saunders county. George Trexler, Union Pacific engi neer, was instantly killed and his wife and three children seriously in jured when an automobile driven by Trexler, fell off a bridge near Ogalalla. York county on June 1st had 1,389 automobiles according to figures com piled by County Assessor J. W. Bar nett. Park commissioners of Plattsmouth have recommended to the city council a levy of from 1 to 3 mills on the thousand valuation for park and amusement purposes. Material for the new beet sugar fac tory at Qpring is arriving daily in large quantities. In erecting the fac tory fifteen thousand carloads of ma terial will be used. School District No. 33, Sarpy coun ty, held a special election just recent ly and defeated a proposed bond levy of $18,000 to erect a new high school building in Springfield. Ninety-nine years old, pioneer, frontiersman, Indian fighter, but still voting. This is the record of Jacob C. March of Lincoln, probably the old est voter in the state. When ques tioned as to politics, he said that he is a "democrat, b’gosh, and always will be.” He is also a wc«nan suffrage booster. At the time ol the civil wai he was too old for ser. Ice, but sent two of his sons. The Commercial Club of Kearney has sent forth its annual appeal to Nebraska congressmen to use what influence they may have with the fed eral government to secure a release of the flood waters of the Pathfinder dam. The Kearney canal is practical ly dried up and the cry for water is being heard on all sides. A campaign has been launched by Lincoln Commercial club to secure one of the twelve regional banks pro vided for in the rural credits bill w hich just passed congress. W. J. Bryan is taking an active part in the campaign to land the bank for Lin coln. North Platte has responded gener ously to the call of the guardsmen of Company E. A check for <225 has been sent to Captain P. R. Halligan to be used as a mess fund by the boys. Fifty-cne persons contributed to the fund, the contributions ranging from $1 to $25. In the first heat of a 2:10 pace dur ing the races at Fremont. last week pacer Bud Williams, owned by a Washington man, dropped dead with in 100 feet of the wire. The driver was thrown several feet but was un injured. The Pentecostal church of the Nazarene, more familiarly known as the Nazarene church is being organ ized in Beatrice. The organizers say two hundred people have signified their intentions to join the new church. The Burlington railroad company is surveying around Scottsbluff with a view of ascertaining the cost of building branches to transport sugar beets from a large area to the big factories at that place. The present membership of the Hastings Y. M. C. A. is 443, including 77 sustaining members. A member ship campaign is to be launched early this fall when it is hoped to increase the enrollment to 1,000. A red letter day was held at the Methodist church in Burchard recent ly for the pastor, Rev. A. C. Spencer. In all he baptized twenty-nine persons and had forty-six accessions to the church. The campaign of fish spearing in the water holes of the Platte, has ex tended so that meat markets in Grand Island estimate the decrease in the sales of meat is over $100 a day. During the first day of the J. W. Fleming closing out sale of twenty four improved stock farms at Wis ner five farms were sold, comprising 1.438 acres, at an average of $142.82 per acre. Small grain harvest in Red Willow county is well under way, the yield being large and the quality fine. It will be one of the largest harvests in the history of the county. Seventy head of cattle were drown ed at the Coffee Cattle Co. ranch near Harrison when they broke down a fence and crowded into an overflowed reservoir. The new $40,000 St. Charles Cath olic church at North Bend was dedi cated last week. Bishop Tihen of Lincoln delivered the dedicatory ser mon. William Woodhurst, warden at the state penitentiary under Governor Garver and a pioneer Nebraskan, died died at his home in North Platte. On July 28th the voters of New man Grove will pass on a proposition to issue $2,000 bonds for the purpose of procuring a town park. The Gage county board of super visors turned dow-n a petition signed by 150 residents of Filey for permis sion to play Sunday baseball. Materia] to be used in the con struction of the new bridge over the Platte at Kearney is arriving daily. The Nebraska Saenegrbund festival will be held at Grand Island August 17, 18. 19 and 20. President Woodrow Wilson will be invited to speak in Omaha during the semi-centennial celebration this fall. Work will commence soon on the new federal building at Alliance. Fire at North Bend did $3,000 dam age in the Empress theater. John Schmitz of Edgar, a boyhood friend of Henry Ford, the Detroit au tomobile manufacturer, mailed a check to Mr. Ford Just recently for $1.35, asking him to ship a new Ford to him. Ford called the bluff and shipped the car. A brick yard belonging to Fred Brinkman at Arlington was totally de stroyed by fire. The fire is supposed to have started from the kiln where Mr. Brinkman had Just begun to “burn” 150.000 brick. The loss is placed at $2,500. Dr. A. P. Fitzsimmons, formerly of Tecumseh, but who for the last few years has been holding a position in Manila, has been appointed treasurer of the island by the governor general, with a salary of $12,000 per year. The Lincoln highway through Keith county is undergoing some extensive improveemnts. It is being graded and dragged a good many places and an excellent roadway entirely across the county is promised to the tourists. Clover bloat has killed a large num ber of cattle in southeastern Nebraska lately. City Clerk Warga of Plattsmouth was found guilty of exceeding the automobile speed limit and a cash bond was required by the chief of police, which was forfeited. The speed law is being rigidly inforced in the town. The twenty-eighth annual reunion of old settlers of Cass county will be held at Union on Friday and Saturday, August 11 and 12. “Billy” Sunday, noted evangelist, will spend a week jjj Nebraska thi3 fall campaigning for the temperance people. TO COOKJPMACH VEGETABLE DESERVES SPECIAL CONSIDERATION. One of the Best and Most Healthful That Is Grown—Various Ways of Preparing It for the Table. Spinach is a standby at all times pf the year. It can be prepared in tnany ways, but the basis of them all Is the first careful looking over, wash ing and boiling. As a rule, the spinach, after wash ing, contuins enough water to start the boiling, after which it will boil in Its own liquid. ’ Special care should be exercised in ithe drainage, because nothing is more unappetizing than a wet. soggy mass of spinach. It should always be drained in a colander and after that can either be cut with a knife or rubbed through a coarse sieve. The simplest way to serve spinach, is to drain well, season with pepper, salt and a little butter. Boil two eggs hard and slice over the top and serve hot. Spinach and Cream.—One quart Spinach, one tablespoonful butter, three tablespoonfuls of cream, pepper and salt. After the spinach has been, boiled, and passed through a wire sieve,' make the butter hot In a saucepan, add I lie spinach, pepper and salt to taste. Stir it over the fire and add the cream. If cream is not available, white sauce may be used instead. Spinach and Poached Eggs.—Pre pare and cream the spinach as in the preceding recipe, put into a flut dish and lay three poached and well drained eggs on the top and garnish with crou tons of fried bread. Spinach and Gravy.—One quart spin ach, one tahlespoonfnl butter, one ta blespoonful .flour. four tahlespoonfuls good gravy, pepper and salt. Prepare the spinach as usual. Stir the flour with the butter in a saucepan for two jminutes. Add the spinach, pepper and salt to taste, and os much gravy ns possible, without making it soft. Stir over the fire until very hot. Dish and garnish with croutons. Plum Gumbo. Wipe five pounds of plums, remove the stones and cut the fruit in pieces. Chop two pounds of seeded raisins. Wipe three oranges and cut in thin slices crosswise, removing the seeds. Put the prepared fruit in a preserve kettle and add five pounds of sugar. Bring to the boiling point and let sim mer until of the consistency of a mar malade. Fill sterilized jelly glasses with mixture, cover and seal. Serve with unsweetened wafers for luncheon. —Woman's Home Companion. Asparagus Souffle. Boil one quart of chopped asparagus, (cut In inch pieces) until tender. Cook one cupful of milk, one tablespoonfu! of butter, and two tahlespoonfuls of cornstarch until the mixture is thick and smooth. Then add the yolks of two eggs, well beaten. Stir In the asparagus, season with salt and pep per and fold in the stiffly beaten whites of the eggs. Put into a but tered baking dish and cook in a quick oven until delicately browned. Serve at once. Seasonings. A clove of garlic is one section of the root. Parsley should be minced and nddeil at the last moment. A pinch of salt is an eighth of a teaspoonful. If only a mild onion flavor is desired, parboil the onion before adding it. Make little cheesecloth bags ot herbs, well blended, for soups and stews. The hags can be withdrawn when the flavor has been sufficiently extracted. Flavor of Berries Improved. To one box (one pint) of strawber ries. picked over, washed (if they are of good size, slice them crosswise), adu one teacupful of sugar and one teaspoonful of vanilla stir carefully until sugar is mixed with the berries, let stand three or four minutes before putting on the shortcake, which should be warm and well spread with butter. Serve at once with whipped cream, or without. The vanilla im proves the flavor of the berries to a very notable degree. Chicken on the Nest. To make this nest, carefully hollow out a large sponge cake: prepare some shredded gelatin by soaking in cold water till moderately soft; mix a little spinach juice with it to make it green, then cover the cake, outside and in. with it. Fill either with the bought candy eggs or those molded of fudge in egg shells. Place a toy chicken on the eggs and present each guest with an egg at the conclusion of the meal. How to Cook Asparagus. Cut off the tough stalks, wash the tender parts and tie in bunches again; place in a saucepan and cover with boiling water. It will take from 20 to 30 minutes to cook it. Ten minutes before taking It up add a teaspoonful of salt for each bunch. When done serve on toast w;tb butter sauce, or just spread with plain butter. Vermicelli Soup. Swell one-quarter pound of vermi celli in a quart of warm water; then add it to good beef. veal, lamb or chicken soup or broth, with one-quar ter pound sweet butter. Allow rlie soup to boil 15 minutes after it is added. Chinese Salad. Equal parts of cold macaroni cut Into small bits, minced ham, lobster and cold boiled carrot, chopped. Mix well and add some good mayonnaise dressing, with a few capers. About Egga. If eggs are placed in hot water a few minutes before breaking the whites will separate from the yolks very easily. They must be cooled be fore whipping up the whites. It’s a Picnic Getting Ready for a Picnic If you choose «, Spanish OEves Pickles Sweet Relish Ham Loaf . Veal Loaf Chicken Loaf Fruit Preserves Jellies Apple Butter Luncheon Meats Pork and Beans Ready to Serve Food Products Inshl on Libby'» at tour grocer i Libby, McNeill & Libby ^ Chicago J] DEFIANCE STARCH is constantly growing in favor because it Does Not Stick to the Iron and it will not injure the finest fabric. For laundry purposes it has no equal. 16 m. package 10c. % more starch for same money. DEFIANCE STARCH CO., Omaha, Nebraska Kill All Flies! ThDe:.LTeatf Pland anywhtm.Oala, fiw*. Naal, ciaaa. Fly Killer ftokl by doaior*. or • sent by czprw. prop*.*. *1.00. HAROLD SOMERS, 150 D«Kalb Ave.. Brooklyn, N. ¥. W. N. U., OMAHA, NO. 29-1916. COLT DISTEMPER You can prevent this loathsome disease from runn.rc through > our stable and cure all Che colts suffering with it when you begin the treatment. No matter how voung. SPOHX'S is safe to use on any colt. It is wonderful how it prevents all distempers, no matter how colts or horses at any age are "exposed.' All good druggists and turf goods houses and manufacturers sell SPOHN’S at 50 cents and *1 a bottle: *5 and *10 a dozen. SPOHN MEDICAL CO.. Chemists nnd Bacteriologists. Goshen, lud.. V. S. A. WHERE WOMEN SELECT MATE In New Guinea It Is Considered Be neath the Dignity of Men to Take Time to Court. So far as proposals of marriage are concerned, in New Guinea It is always leap-yea^ for In tlmt island the men consider it beneath their dignity to no tice women, much less to make over tures of marriage. Consequently, the proposing is left to the women to do. When the ebony belle falls in love with a man she sends a piece of string to his sister, or, if he has no sister, to his mother, or another of his lady relatives. Then the lady who receives the string tells the dusky brave that the particular damsel is In love with him. No courting follows, however, for it is considered beneath a New Guinea gen ; tleman’s dignity to waste time in sue* a pursuit. If t'»e man thinks he would like to wed the lady, he meets her alone, and they decide straight away whether to marry or drop the idea. In the former case the betrothal is announced. The man is then branded c.n the back with charcoal, while ff mark is cut into the woman's skin. No breach-of-promise actions are possible in New Guinea, though if the lady is jilted her friends may hunt her lover up and “go” for him. On the other hand, if the dark damsel provefi faithless, she is liable to be eaten by her betrothed if he catches her. Fifty-Fifty Deal. A number of politicians were attend ing a convention in Chicago a short time ago when one of the number was approached by an old acquaintance who was plainly down in his luck. Sliding up to the politician he said: “Say, Jack, lend me ten, will you? I'm short.” The big fellow went down into his pocket, flashed out a big roll and hand ed a five-dollar bill to the down-and outer. “Say. Jack,” said he of the “touch,” “I said ten.” “I know you did,”, replied the poli tician. “but I think this way is fairer. You lose five tnd I lose five." Position of Immunity. “You peop-c all seem to take a great deal of loof<. talk from that man in a frock coat.‘ “Yes,” replied Bronco Bob. “He sort o’ puts it over on us, because he knows he kin. Hj's the only undertaker in Crimson GrJch. No matter what kind o’ trouble tomes up, there’s necessarily an underst<juUn’ that he’s to be a sur vivor.” JOKES THAT ARE HISTORIC Shop Witticisms Inflicted on Every Newcomer That Joins the Ranks of the Real Workers. Yon have no doubt all heard of the “left-hand monkey wrench" which ev ery new apprentice in a wagon works is sent after, and of the “italic thin space” which the printer’s devil usual ly is sent to get, but William S. Coy, county superintendent of schools, bit bard on one not quite so well known when he assumed his duties as a book keeper in a plumbing shop during one of the vacations of his high school days. There was grumbling among the hands because of something that a neighboring plumber bad borrowed and which he had failed to return. The bookkeeper Anally decided to help out and offered to go to the borrower and secure the needed article. His offer was quickly accepted. “What is it?" he inquired. “We want our pipe stretcher." an swered one of the hands. The bookkeeper went to the other shop and to several others looking for this particular article before it oc curred to him that it would be a pe culiar kind of a tool, indeed, that could stretch an iron pipe.—Columbus Dispatch. What the Tea Leves Tell. Do you know how to tell fortunes in a teacup? It furnishes a great deal of entertainment at a party. This Chinese rhyme explains It: “One leaf, alone you’ll be; Two together, the priest you’ll see. Three together, your wish will gain; Four, a letter from loving swain. Five, good news the letter will bring; Six in a row, a song you’ll sing. Seven together, good fortune awaits. So say to you the teacups' fates. Tea leaves large and tea leaves tall Bring you company, great and small. Tea leaves many and scattered fine Is of bad lnck the surest sign. Tea leaves few and near the rim. Your cup of joy o'erflows the brim.” Breaking It Gently. After the dynamite fatality Casey ran to break the news to Mrs. Murphy. “Have you got I’at's life insured?” he asked. “Indeed I have, and for a long whHe,” was the reply. “Well, then," blurted out the tactful messenger, “I hoi>e ye won’t have the trouble collecting it that the boys will in collecting Pat.” Old rags are used In making Imita tion leather. A New Use For This Word l"he New Post Toasties are truly entitled to the word “delicious.” fhey’re distinguished by the tiny bubbles found on c-ich flake and they carry the full, rich flavour of choii jr, white Indian com — not found in com flakes of the past. And unlike common com flakes, they are not “chaffy" in the package and don’t grow mushy in milk or cream. Note carefully the tiny bubbles—then try a hand ful dry to test the flavour. In comparison, other com flakes are sis “chaff.” New Post Toasties l_ Sold by Grocers everywhere. .