The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917, August 05, 1915, Image 6

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Confessions gf a
Mail Order Man
H a as always my custom to state
M the catalogs* in several place*—
umy cheerfully refunded “
If yoa are disaat.sned. how many
t.maa do yoa get your money back?
1*4 y<m ever get it back promptly
aad without a struggle?
This is my game—to pretend that
jtmr money will be returned In case
>«m are sot pleased «uh your pur
«fees and then. If you do send in a
good vog kick you will gel a letter
back you to select something
eiao from the catalogue You will
he tired oat with letters and sug
gestions as to what you should take
n nnd of the article you kicked on
until yoa finally de< ide to save any
mors truants and taka something else,
something yoa dldn t want at all
Bo* I suppose that really the great
est John ot ail Is played on the peo
1 -» ta the small towns by my so
cs'lod “credit" system.
I sand you a catalogue and In
v it* you to buy anything you want
and to take ysar own time to pay (or
tt The literature I send out leads
yoa to believe that I do nut car* (or
inumoy at all 1 try to make you be
lieve that yoa are a great friend of my
ruocara. that yoa are entitled to great
ivaadvnum. that your wants shall be
supplied with the greatep possible care
aad that yoa are reliable and entlllad
In credit
~1 will not make say inquiries con
rertiag year credit.*' says my litem
~No qusstloas will be asked of youi
neighbors, says another paragraph.
Your neighbors and friends artli
never know that you are dealing with
us oe credit." says still another sec
uoa of my letter. But 1 most certainly
de Inquire about you. For instance:
I bad as outside concern—that Is a
concern running under another name
and with a separate address from the
mala store. This address was the
horns of my credit manager or the of
fice ef my "collection lawyer.'*
When yon write la for credit this
la the vay 1 do it. 1 have you sign,
firm ef all a paper which Is a part of
the order blank and is really a legal
contract, giving me pout.- and author
ity to come into your home and take
ont. not only the things you have pur
chnnud on credit from me but also
*->erfitting dee. When you sign an or
der tor goods on credit you unwitting
ly atga a chattel mortgage on your
I nfinnhrlil property. Then, after this
paper ti la my possession 1 can swoop
dovn on van and drwa ont everv stick
of furniture you nave in me place ana
•ell It at auction to pay the amount
still due.
If a bookkeeper makes an error in
figures if some clerk steals a remit
tance from you. sent in to apply on
your account, yoa have absolutely no
chance to object. It is the law.
Now. when you send in your order
and application for credit, you must i
send, also—for Buch is my rule—an j
order and the amount specified as the
first payment. You expect to get the
goods right away but no, there are cer
tain things to b«5 done before I ship
the goods. I have your money, so
you must wait.
Then my credit man sends a lettc
written on the “fake" letterhead of n<,v
outside concern, to some of your neigh
hors, asking them if your character is
good, if you are in the habit of payirx
your bills, if your morals are good,
how much you earn a week, etc. Your
order is held until answers are re
ceived from thoee of your neighbors
to whom the letters of inquiry were
sent. Then if the answers have been
satisfactory, you are sent a contract
to be signed by you and you must wait
until this has been received by my
credit department.
Then the goods are shipped. And
the awful price*—goodness gracious
what prices charged for the very
cheai>est and most unreliable class of
gooda. My policj is to set a price, the
first payment of which pays for the
actual cost of the goods. Then all the i
r*at ia -velvet" All of the future pay
ments sre profit to my house. You
really pay for the goods, the actual
value, when you send in the first pay
ment I won't iose anything if you
never send in another cent
But think of it—you must keep
sending in money to meet the other
payments for perhaps two years—so
much each month. Any time you fail
u> meet a monthly payment 1 send the
papers to a local lawyer and he can
take possession of your household
goods and sell them on the street.
Some of the goods I send you
are not worth hauling to the cars. I
remember one lot of parlor furniture
that had a iot of damages, one of
which was a broken leg on the divan.
It never could be fixed. I sent that
set out every time I could substi
tute it for another on an order and
it always cam* back. We had a lot
of Joking about that old crippled set
of parlor furnittre and. well. It had
a lot of adventures. I shinned that
•«t to nearly every state In the Union.
Whenever a customer would order a
parlor set. and I could not get it, for
the price, 1 used to ship this crippled
•el out Instead. Of course it came
back. Just as I knew it would, but it
««”e me * chance to turn round and 1
kept the money In the business, of
Another strict rule is that you must
make your complaints within a cer
tain period of time after you have re
ceived the goods. No matter what
was sent you, if you do not make a
complaint according to the rules I
have laid down, 1; is all off. You have
no redress. You must keep whatever
was sent to you.
I spend a big part of my expenses in
the hiring of collectors and in the
maintaining of a credit and collection
department. Your name is kept in a
card index system. A girl has charge
of a certain number of cards. She
works this list every so often. If you
are slow pay, and keep on being slew, |
your card is taken out and placed in j
another list and if you keep on not
paying, your card is finally placed in
the list handled by the house lawyer,
who comes after you with all sorts of
If you persist in not paying, then
there are two things to do. I will send
the account to a local lawyer and he
will come to your house and demand
me payment. Hut if it is a small ac
count I will not send it for collection
but will continue to send you dun no
tices for months afterward. Some
times I sold these small accounts to
“shyster” lawyers for a small percent
age and they collect whatever they
can. They will even follow a son or a
daughter with the unpaid bills of par
And the stuff you get from me isn’t !
worth having. It is the cheapest stuff
imaginable. If it is clothing it won’t |
wear well and will come to pieces the i
first time you wear it out in the rain. !
If it is furniture it will break If a
heavy person sits down on it and if it's
hardware it is undependable and will
never keep sharp and it probably has
a flaw in it so that it will break at
the first strain.
It's not worth buying in the first
place and it isn’t worth having after
you have bought it. Don't order it in
the first place. Buy from your local
dealer, who at least will listen to your
complaints and replace any article not
up to standard. He keeps a more de
pendable stock of stuff than I do. You
can rely on him, too. He can't run
away or seek refuge behind letters
and lies.
v es, it 8 the best thing to buy what ]
you need of your merchant in your
own home town. He is entitled to
receive your business and he keeps a
place in which you can find what you
The various articles illustrated in
my catalogues look good in the pic
tures, they are made that way to fool
you. They are misrepresented in the 1
written descriptions and they are
manufactured so as to cheat you in
every possible manner.
You will get better value in the store
of your own merchant. Think of this
when you next require something. Try
him out, ask him if he has it or if he
hasn’t got it in stock if he can't order
it for you. He will be glad to do so.
What Is the Best Remedy For
This is a question asked us many times
each day. The answer is
We guarantee them to be satisfactory
to you. Sold only by us, 1U cents.
Wm. Graefe.
Wild Horses.
True wild horses, intractable and
terrified in man's presence, have been
the subject of some interesting ex
periments. It was long believed that
true wild horses with unbroken wild
ancestry were extinct, but the animals
discovered by Prjevalski in the Gobi
desert, in Asia, have been pronounced
by Russian naturalists wild horses of
a distinct kind, with no relationship
to the ass. A few years ago about
thirty of the horses were captured.
They were mere colts, most of which
have grown to maturity in Russia, but
a few were taken to the estate of the
duke of Bedford in England. They
have developed from their shaggy and
awkward youth into animals of good
appearance. They have some resem
blance to the domestic horse, with the
same neigh and frightened snort, but
all attempts to tame them and make
them useful have failed, and they are
■till badly frightened when any per
son comes within several rods of
them. Efforts of the Mongolians to
tame the horses have been equally nn
;ame to him as inspiration.
When Mr. Sarke/ First Sang the
Famed "Ninety and Nine."
The story of "Ninety and Nine," the
j well-known hymn the music for which
Mr. Ira D. Sankev improvised ir a burst
of deep feeling, was told by Rev. Dr.
C. E. Locke, ^it the funeral of Mr.
: Sankev. The era.list had found a
little poem. "The Lost Sheep." in a
Scotch -«wsrap«T. so runs Dr. Locke's
accou i in the Brooklyn Eagle, and
| hail <11; i <-<i it. One night in Edin
; burgh Mr. V <;dy asked him to sing.
Mr. Money j just finished his ser
mon. "The Good Shepherd" Mr.
Sankev fcnd ne thought of composing
• a new song, hut as he used to tell the
“As I sat at the organ my fingers
fell on \ fiat : ad my eyes fell on that
little poem. I began to sing, and I
: sang the words of that poem."
V.'hen he had finished. Mr. Moody
rushed down frc-t the platform and
ask <J hkn wite - had f< m ' that
song. He said : s the most-won
derful song ho . ,d ever heard. Mr.
Moody was weeping. Mr. Sankev was
weeping an<l the audience . was in
tears, so great was the impression
produced by-the song.
"I sang it as God gave it to me,"
j Mr. Sankev replied. He never changed
a note of the song from the time it
, fell front his lips.—Youth's Companion.
No Manner of Doubt as to Location of
Angelina Spring, in spite of the
! beatific sound of her name, had a bad
I temper. One day she insisted on cry
; ins. and protested when the question
was put often enough to elicit an an
swer, that she had a “pain.” Exactly
where, she would not or could not de
scribe. Her persistent fretting finally
won for her a vigor jus spanking.
After the punishment there was
quiet. A caller came, and heard the
‘ You see,” said Mrs. S tiring, “she
kept saying that it hurt her.' but she
wouldn't say where. So there seemed
no other way to stop her bawling than
I to spank her."
“Kind of localizing the pain?" sug
I gested the visitor.
“Yes,” agTeed Mrs. Spring, heartily.
"That is it precisely.”—Youth s Com
The Cycle of Fashion*.
Progress follows the line Of ad
vantage. substituting always the bet
ter adapted: it never returns on itself,
never substitutes fish oil for kerosene,
horse cars for trolley cars. Fashion,
on the other hand, moves in cycles.
Ponld we run the successive fashions
of woman's hat or sleeve or skirt dur
ing a century thrbugh a biograph rap
»tly what a s> stole and diastole we
should see. an alternating dilation and
contraction, like the punting of some
jueer animal.—Prof. K. A. Ross, in
Social Psychology.
Duke of Cambridge Took Lively In
terest in the Sermon.
"The late Dr. William M. Stonehlll,"
said a college settlement worker of
New Yorlc. "was called the bishop of
the Bowery. It was a title of af
fection. The Bowery loved this good
“He sometimes used to laugh over
the naivete of his Bowrery audiences.
He used to say that in their frequent
audible comments on his sermons
they reminded him of the famous duke
of Cambridge—the old duke, you
“From his great pew the duke rum
bled out all sorts of remarks and
criticisms every Sunday morning. It
would be. said Dr. Stonehill, like this:
“Preacher—'Let us pray.’
“Duke—‘By all means.’
“Preacher prays for rain.
“Duke—‘No good in that as long as
the wind is in the east.’
"Preacher (reading) — ‘Zaccheus
stood forth and said. "Behold, Lord,
one-half of my lands I gave to the
poor.” ’
“Duke—‘Too much, too much. Don’t
mind subscribing, but can’t stand
“Preacher quotes a certain com
“Duke—‘Quite right, quite right, but
very difficult sometimes.’
“Preacher quotes another command
ment, which need not be indicated.
“Duke—‘No, no! It was my brother
Ernest did that.’ ’’
High Lineage of Slang.
“That expression, ‘Painting the town
red,’ is not," writes a correspondent,
“the creation of some unknown Cock
ney genius, as G. K. C. would seem to
Infer. Its birth has been traced to
‘The Divine Comedy.’ Dante, led by
Virgil, conies to the cavernous depths
of the place swept by a mighty wind
where those are confined who have
been the prey of their passions. Two
faces arise from the mist—the faces
of Francesca and Paolo. ‘Who are
ye?' cries Dante in alarm: and Fran
cesca replies sadly: ‘We are those
who have painted the world red with
our sins.’ ”
Charles l.'i Cloak.
The mayor and corporation of
Shrewsbury, England, have recently
had presented to them the scarlet
cloak which was worn by Charles I.
on the scaffold at Whitehall. The
cloak was secured by William Wal
cot, who was page of honor to the
unhappy monarch and who was in at
tendance on the king at the time of
his execution. The garment has been
in the possession of the Walcot family
for 260 years, and was exhibited at the
Society of Antiquities in 1861. It is
in a splendid state of preservation,
and, the Walcot family having present
ed it to the Shrewsbury town council,
It la now on view in the town museum.
Try an advertisement in the
Fact Is. Mankind Does Not Eat
Enough of It, Is Opinion
of Expert.
Food can be conveniently divided
! into seven classes—fruits, nuts, vege
| tables, grains, legumes, miscellaneous
; and meat. Fruits, the least known
! says an article in Health Culture, are
I the most important. They include
| tree products, berries and melona
Only 4.4 per cent of the food we con
* sume in this country is fruit. Man
“is anatomically, physically, historic
ally, deductively, traditionally and
morally a fruit eater.” Yet we not
only eat little of It. but are restrained
! from It by superstition that it causes
ailments. When ripened fruit is
dropped by the plant It Is a mass ol
living cells that form a society of in
dividuals, each independent of the oth
er. When eaten they give life to the
consumer. In animal foods putrefac
tion begins its work immediately on
the death of the animal. There is
fermentation in fruits, but no "rot
tenness” until the organized ferments
enter through a break in the skin
The subject is a large one and runs
to technical analysis that is of little
help for everyday use. But, generally
speaking, one can stand by the axiom
that fruit is a healthful food, one that
if fresh and clean should be beneficial
and not harmful. Waste products
which cause the peristaltic action ol
the digestive tract form an important
part of the diet and one that is usual
ly overlooked. Crude fiber ts the best
waste product. Fruits produce an
ideal crude fiber.
Umbrella Morals.
“Not long ago at a tea,” said a man
who frequents such decadent diver
tissements, “somebody walked off witii
a new umbrella of mine. What I got
in return was not fit for publication.
“I spoke to the host about it—th<
tea was at a bachelor apartment—and
he gave me a list of all those present
with their addresses, about twenty-five
persons, suggesting that I write and
ask who had a new umbrella in place
of an old one.
“I took it with some degree of hope
which he at once crushed by telling
me that on one occasion he had lost
a new silk hat at a social function
and the hostess had given him a list
of sixty-four men who had been among
those present. He wrote to the entire
lot and received four replies in the
negative. The others simply ignored
his notes of inquiry.
“Thereupon I concluded to let some
body have my new umbrella. But
stealing s stealing just the same, in
my opinion.”
Loup City Flour is sold
by all our merchants
Special prices to all on 5
and 10 sack lots. Patro
nize the home mill.