Nebraska Newspapers

    HOUSEWORK IS A HEAVY BURDEN
The -woman who "keeps house” has
enough to do when she is in good, Bound
health, but if she is weak, tired all the
time, and suffering from morn to night
with an aching back, house-work becomes
a heavy burden.
Many women who were afflicted in this
way say that Doan’s Kidney Pills have
made life easier for them.
Women are subject to kidney disease.
The clothing they wear, the work they do, J
the worry and strain of bearing and rear
ing children, the lack of proper exercise;
all tend to it.
Backache, bearing-down pains, headache,
dizzy spells, faintness, fits of “blues,” and
other troubles often thought to be peculiar
to the sex, are found frequently in kidney
disease. When any one of these ills ap
pears, together with a discolored condi
tion of the kidney secretions, with passages
too frequent, scanty or burning, just make
up your mind that your kidneys are weak,
and be quick to help them.
Doan's Kidney Pills have helped a great
many weak women through the trying
times when kidney disease means so much
added misery. They do not disturb the
stomach or bowels and contain no poison
ous, dangerous nor habit-forming drugs.
Doan's are harmless for children too.
When Kidney Troubles Keep
You in Misery Day
and Night
“/ fust can't get up!"
The follow in I case is typical of the cures
effected by Eh. in's Kidney Pills. Grateful
testimony is the best evidence.
DRIVEN ALMOST CRAZY.
A Terrible Tale of Kidney Suffering.
Mrs. H. W. Heagy, 1515 L St.. Bakers
field. Cal., says: My kidney trouble began
in the fall of 1907. I used remedy after
remedy prescribed by physicians but no re
lief came and I was in despair. On ac
count of the numbness and g.-ating sensa
tion I could not lie down comfortably and
some nights I was not in bod half an hour.
1 became so nervous and restless 1 h:;."dly
knew what to do. Hot waves came over
me like a flash and I became so dizzy that
I staggered. I had a feeling as if there
was gravel in my bladder, the kidney se
cretions acting too freely at times, while
again they were very scant and accom
panied by terrible pain. I cannot describe
the suffering 1 endured for over two years.
Finally I began using Doan’s Kidney Pills
and while I did not notice much relief for
a week or so, I continued persistently and
when I had taken eight boxes I was feel
ing fine. The numbness and smarting fin
ally left, the' kidney secretions became
clear and natural and my health improved
one hundred percent. Doan’s Kidney Pills
cured me at a time when it seemed that
I would go crazy and 1 never can express
my gratitude.”
■When Your Back is Lame—Remember the Name"
DOAN’S KIDNEY PILLS
Sold by an Dealers..Price 50 cents. Fcster-MSbum Co, Buffalo, N. Y, Proprietors
Reward of Merit.
“Co on. Mb' Co oc and blow yo*
bans bmit who to* is and what yo
impatiently said old Brother
Bogus -list lemme specify dat 1'se de
os j extinguished citizen o' dis town
dat de preside:.! o' de railroad—dis
yob road. right yuh* — paid any 'ten
t»oB to a bee te went tb uo in his spe
rurt byab last week Yawahl I wuz
rot when de trait passed—right on
dis sad «iat 'ar potly white
nat. glma-e a flee see-grab; flung it
to te out a de window o* de byah.
aad t wit* lit. is*)"'—Puck
H19M in Her Line.
C'.iiet -The ;-topic- in the flat above
us are constantly Rghtirg
Perry - l oesn't your w ife object?
C. N<> Stie likes to have a fuss
made o»er her.
CREAM OF RYE
For health and energy <-a( it for
breai is- K. duc es cost of living
Fr»« Silver Spoon in every package.
Ask your grocer for a package
After a Fasnian.
Church Mfbsr—Does your father i
a!way* ;>ra<!iec what be preaches?
V'.n-sterSon Yes sera; before a
mirror—Cornell Widow.
Dr IWu-» I'ir.MUi Pellet* rare con- |
■repels«. « «»•.i; *tton is the* uiuc of
w**s:- t.—c l.-•’ • f.r cite and you
cure the dbrac. La*> to take.
Nothing Sen;us
“V de a: > mistakes in the new year
as yet?”
«• 11. Ira still writing in 1911.“
rm - < i kip it • to it iivvs
T-v* — « rr -na o ir l‘A/*J lltiCT
M« JTT ■ _ Ms rwmr- -fit CSU" «sf ."Chins B .1*0.
11 »I<~64 v. IxnUUs B.cm f UK.
The nuud ha* more room in It than
meat reo.ii- ’i-ini if yon would but
funtcb the apartments.—Gray.
Why will you
continue to
suffer from a
bad stomach,
constipated
bowels or in
active liver,
when
HOSTETTER’S
STOMACH BITTERS
will make you well
and keep you &o.
Try a bottle today.
ALL DRUGGISTS.
Nebraska Directory
KW IEUUU AND
ouaxsLS work iar
rjtrrs
BZMTAL ROOMS
BIT L90C.il ST. MU'J
PAIkLESS DENTISTRY
GOLD CJTOW*. $4.00 to $s.oc
iircr*.'to>ia»<-tai4af E*
fame. 3B yru ft^rakOtre. ,
BAILEY rAr DENTIST
« ITT >»noUL K*U
■uMkMlM Mkft a IUtm,.
t t«uf m
Wanted Ifc<
| *»J rr*dj fear tbr ru«h.
Vn ttu'Juac to n»k. NUtefar
'*«*< 4. .i/mrw^ofBorjf) i«-fund*>l.
> tbr t»«t urf OM»t ttM*ruufb M|ui|>prd
M-toMMi It. tirf NiaturM. Prii'iir*. ripprinn^
•* «f r*M. ftiM <1rtTlUtf »od mxl
•«rk U 4»n r !urr*toiuci#. MCMftSM
UIMWU KINl. 141; M»c Si.. ta<ta.U.
DOCTORS
MACH A MACH
DENTISTS
l w»*rljr
BAILCY4MACH
)IM»U
ate jamimifr> RrcanaaUr ptm
Vi i Aw * •* »■■■■> Ini acted* cl Otealn.
Bell Telephone
Service
With its Locj: Di>tancecon
oecttoos. teat ix-s nearly every
city. town end village, giving
instant communirat ion near or
far. which emergencies as well
as business and social needs
demand.
Talking over the Long Dis
tance Lines of the Hell System
mar be much lc»s expensive
than you think. Ask our
nearest agent for information
regarding rates or service
connect ions.
wum TELEPfltlE CO.
BRAHAM LINCOLN had a
substitute who served as
a defender of th« Unio->
through the bloody and
ei>ocb-rnaking period oi
the Civil war. This asser
tion has been made many
times before. It has
aroused bitter contro
versy in various quarters;
it has given birth to col
umns of print, both in
support of anil denial of its truth.
Now. for tb^ first time, evidence is
here presented that the story of Lin
coln's substitute is correct—evidence
in the unassailable shape of an official
acknowledgment from the federal gov
ernment.
The exemption of the president of
the Vnlted States from the taking up
of arms, or serving on an actual field
of battle, is provided for by a special
statute drawn up to meet such a con
tingency. Itut there is nothing to
prevent the nations chief executive
from sending forth a substitute to
fight in his place, although Iancoln
was the only occupant of the White
House who ever took advantage of
this fact. The man who represented
in his person that of the martyred
president was John Summerfield Sta
ples. whose body now lies at rest in
a little cemetery at Stroudsburg, Pa. !
The tombstone above his grave, pho
tograph of which is here reproduced,
testifies not only to Staples' war
record, but states in granite letters
the fact of his having served as Abra
ham Lincoln’s substitute. The inscrip
tion in question reads as follows:
J Summerfield Staples,
a Private of
Co C. ITS Regt., P. V.
Also a Member of the
2 Reg D. C. Yols.. as a
Substitute for
APR A HAM LINCOLN.
D;ed Jan. 11. 1SSS,
Aged 43 Years, 4 Mos.. 25 Da; s.
!l.f grave also bears the G. A. R.
marker, a metallic star upon which
the w -ds Pest ISO" appear. A small
American flag flutters in the breeze,
but the outside world seems little in
formed as to the career of this patri
otic and distinguished soldier boy.
I had heard the tradition that Lin
coln during the dark days of 1S64 had
sent a substitute to the front. Hut
to confirm the truth of the tradition
was quite another matter. The popu
lar opinion of those I consulted ap
peared to be that the tale of Lin
!n s substitute belonged in the myth
i atecory. and had no more foundation
in soli, r fact than the legend of Wash
ington and the cherry tree. Men high
J. SUMWERFIELD STAPLES.
“Lincoln-* Substitute." From a Pho
tograph Taken at the Time He Went
to the Front in Lincoln's Stead.
in the ranks of the Grand Army of
the Republic assured me that they
were certain that “Old Abe" was un
represented in the ranks of the boys
in blue. For all that it seemed to me
that the story was something more
than one of those romantic incidents
so frequently quoted as having oc
curred in the lives of famous men aft
er they had passed over to the great
majority; incidents lending color to
laudatory- biographical sketches, but
rejec’ed by the thoughtful historian
as being formed of "the stuff dreams
are mad*- of.” Lincoln, with his ex
alted ideals, his stern devotion to
duty, his undying love for the Union
and all that it represented, was ex
actly the type of man to consider him
self at fault If he neglected to make
< very possible sacrifice in his power
to the cause he held dearer than life.
I corres,->cnded with the federal au
thorities at Washington on the sub
ject. but tbe replies 1 received did not
tend to bring me any closer to the
goal. Instead they asserted positively
that the reported tradition was entire
ly without foundation. A letter from
the war department stated emphak'c
J. SUMMERFIELD STAPLES.
"Lincoln's Substitute." From a Pho
tograph Taken a Few Years Before
His Death.
ally: "It does not appear from the
official records of the department
that President Lincoln ever furnished
a substitute." Another informed me
that "Abraham Lincoln was not liable
to draft,” a fact of which I was al
ready well aware. Had not such been
the case the employment of a substi
tute would have lost all significance.
But a personal search through the
official records of the Civil war
brought to light a reference to "Abra
ham Lincoln, principal, and John Sta
ples, recruit, both of the District of
Columbia." And on another page ap
peared an entry to the effect that Lin
coln wished a representative recruit,
and same was assigned as private to
Company H of the Second regiment.
D. C. infantry. With these entries as
a base of operations it became pos
sible to trace the substitute, and the
discovery was made that John S. Sta
ples was buried in Stroudsburg, Pa.
Further details were furnished by Jir.
John W. Burnett of Massachusettes,
a comrade of Staples, in the following
letter:
"I well recall the military career of
J. S. Staples of my regiment. The
awful losses of the Union army, east :
and west, were weighing heavily on
dear Lincoln, and he. with others in
public life, were considering the de
sirability of having personal repre
sentatives in the field for those not
eligible for service at all. According
to my recollection, in the fall or late
summer of 1864 Mr. Lincoln had a
committee of citizens of the District
of Columbia search for as perfect a
specimen of physical manhood as
could be found to become his repre
sentative recruit. This committee, or
some of them, met my dear comrade
(Staples) on the streets of George
town, and seeing his superbly com
pact form, and being at once satisfied
that he was the man worthy to be
Lincoln's representative in the army,
they made a proposition to him, and
the loyal boy—for he was but a boy—
at once signified his desire to fill the
honorable position. He was soon aft
erward introduced to President Lin
coln, and the latter gladly chose him
as his representative.”
Although the communication re
ceived from Mr. Burnett was as con
vincing as one could wish, yet it was
clear that without governmental sanc
tion there still would remain doubting
Thomases who would dispute the
claim made in behalf of the dead sol
dier. Therefore, the facts in the case
were laid before tbe federal authori
ties, and I received from the office of
the commissioner of pension at Wash
ington an official statement confirming
the entire tradition concerning Lin
coln and his siJbsti'tute. This docu
ment reads as follows:
Department of the Interior,
Bureau of Pensions.
Washington. May 11, 1910.
“John Summerfield Staples, residing
at Stroudsburg, Pa., filed an applica
tion for pension in 1882, stating that
in *he Civil war he had served in Com
pany C, One Hundred and Seventy
sixth Pennsylvania militia, and after
wards in Company H, Second District
of Columbia infantry, and that in his
second enlistment he was a substitute
for President Lincoln.
“The records show that said soldier
enlisted November 2, 1862. in Com
pany C, One Hundred and Seventy
sixth Pennsylvania drafted militia,
that he was honorably discharged
May 5, 1863. and that he afterward
enlisted April 3, 1864, in Company H,
Second District of Columbia volun
teers, from which he was honorably
discharged at Alexandria, Va., Sep
tember 12, 1865, and the record also
show that In this last service he was
enrolled as a representative recruit
for Abraham Lincoln, who was not
liable to draft.
"It is shown by the papers on file
in this case that during the war Presi
dent Lincoln decided that he would
place in the army a substitute to the
credit of the District of Columbia, and
that he communicated his desire to do
so to the provost marshal of the dis
trict, with a request that he select the
person -who should be placed in the
service, and that the provost marshal
then sent for Noble D. Larner, then a
prominent citizen of this city, and
stated to him the president's wishes,
and Mr. Larner afterward succeeded
in getting the substitute in the person
of Mr. Staples, and he was afterward
mustered Into the service.
“This is about all the information I
can give you with reference to the
matter, and would suggest that if you
desire to learn anything about the
private life of Mr. Staples you might
write to the postmaster or some other
person at Stroudsburg. Pa., where
Mr. Staples lived and where he died
January 11, 18S8.”
(signed) J. L. DAVENPORT,
Commissioner.
There are several people still living
in Stroudsburg who knew Staples and
remember that to him belonged the
unique distinction of representing
Lincoln on the field of battle. Among
their number are J. T. Palmer, post
master and principal of the public
school; C. L*. Drake, editor of the
Stroudsburg Times, and Representa
tive A. Mitchell Palmer of Pennsyl
vania. It was characteristic of Lin
coln that he kept the matter from the
public press, and a like modesty
seems to have imposed silence on the
young soldier who served his country
so well.
One does not have to make a very
exhaustive study of Lincoln's charac
ter in order to understand the motive
which led him to send a substitute to
represent him in the Scenes of the
bloody drama then being enacted
throughout the land. His conscience
was not of that easily satisfied variety
which contents itself with allowing
things to remain as they are, without
indulging in exertion for the common
good. His was the hand which was
steering the Ship of State through
tempest and crash of hostile guns, yet
great as was th" task assigned him, •
he perceived with the eagle eye that
watched the course of action, a post j
still unfilled, an unoccupied niche
where a combatant could be placed to
strike in behalf of the Union. To that
post he resolved to appoint a repre
sentative. that he might be practical
ly in person—as he was already in
spirit—on the red field of carnage. It
was done quietly, in that simple, unos
tentatious manner that distinguished
all of Lincoln's acts, whether in offi
cial or private life. He never played
to the gallery, and the verdict of his
own conscience was all he cared 1
about.
While this is probably the only case
in history where the leader of a na
tion sent a substitute to fill his place
in the ranl-s of fighting men, a sort of
precedent may be said to be found
in the custom, but recently fallen into
disuse, of appointing a "king's cham
pion.'' who was supposed to offer his
body in opposition to any challenger
of the reigning monarch of Great
Britain. Until the accession of the 1
late King Edward VII. to the crown
of England, this functionary was a
member of the royal entourage. When
ever the new king was publicly crown
ed the "champion” appeared before
i
•Suivtitu/efa.
ABRAHAM UNC0U4
»rr a
'kt„ J/ t#$g
'fyerf'fSXs.+ftfat
ZfjQttyjr
Grave cf J. Summeifield Staples, ir
the Cemetery at Stroudsburg, Pa.
the assembled multitude clad in mar- i
tial gear, and casting down a gauntlet
upon the ground, defied to mortal com
bat any person or persons having
quarrel with or denying the right of
the potentate to reign over the land.
This custom dated back to the stren
uous days when a monarch was also !
an active man-at-arms, and likely to '■
meet in a hand-to-hand engagement
with some persistent foeman at any
time or place. Hence the institution
of "king's champion,” appointed to
keep all challengers at bay, a heredi
tary honor, and one that was held for
many generations by the descendants
of the Dymoke family. But Edward
VII., who possessed an unusually
strong sense of the ridiculous, refused
to permit this heroic burlesque of a
mediaeval custom to be introduced
into the splendid pageantry at his cor
nation and abolished the office of a
warlike substitute forever.
Nourishment for Invalids.
When the appetite has failed, as in
the case of convalescents and many
wreak children, nourishment is of
prime importance. There is a capital
way to administer it. which rarely fails
even in extreme cases. To the white
of an egg add the juice of an orange
and the least bit of sugar. Strain the
mixture carefully and set it away un
til it is very cold. Then it may be
served as “orange jelly," either with or
without a cracker.
Does History Repeat Itself?
Kerne is like some famous woodland
glade that every artist paints; she is
like some problem in bridge-building,
at which every engineer tries his
hand. Thus, in the days when his
tory consisted of wars and battles,
men studied Rome as the great man
ual of military' experience; and when
our conception of history advanced so
aa to Include governmental problems,
U waa Rome that was the great text
book in the history of legislation, in
very recent days we have suffered a
reaction from the formality of the
classical school of history, and we
have entered upon the orgies of real
ism. Starting out from a half-digest
ed theory that because antiquity in
some respects resembled the pres
ent, therefore it must have been ex
actly like the present, we have
[ reached strange and marvelous re
suits. Yet this presupposes that his
tory repeats itself. We can of course
never prove that it does not; but we
can assert that it does not, with all
the intensity of the faith that is in
us. We are not squirrels going round
in a cage, and could we see any com
plex epoch in the past as well as we
can any period in the present, we
should see the difference; and where
the eye of the mind falls we have the
right to see by the eye of faith.—
Jesse Benedict Carter, In the Atlan
tic.
OF THE AGE OF CHIVALRY
Fat Victim of Cupid Bashfully Ac
knowledges Real Reason for His
Act of Heroism.
The smallest boy had broken
through the ice and the fat boy was
crawling to his rescue.
“Come back. Fatty!" the other boys
shrieked. “You’ll bust it all in, an'
den youse'H both be drowned!”
But the fat boy, fiat on his stom
ach and spread out to his widest ex
tent, ignored these warning cries and
steadily crept toward the black hole
and Tommy's clinging fingers.
Once the ice made a cracking sound
and the watchers yelled with dismay.
But the fat boy did not halt. Nearer
and nearer he came, and finally his
outstretched hands caught those cling
ing lingers and drew the small boy,
little by little, onto the firmer ice and
so to safety.
“What did youse do it fer. Fatty?”
one of the boys tearfully remonstrat
ed.
“Aw,” replied the hero. "I knew
what I lost in weight I made up in
wideness, see?"
Then his face softened.
“Besides." he bashfully said. “I'm I
sweet on Tommy's sister!"
PIMPLES COVERED HIS BACK
“My troubles began along In the
summer in the hottest weather and
took the form of small eruptions and
itching and c kind of smarting pain.
It took me mostly all over my back
and kept getting worse until finally
my back was covered with a mess of
pimples which would burn and itch at
night so that I could hardly stand it.
This condition kept getting worse and
worse until my back was a solid mass
of big seres which would break open
and run. My underclothing would be
a clot of blood.
“I tried various remedies and salves
for nearly three years and I was not
getting any benefit. It seemed I was
in eternal misery and could not sleep
on my back or lean on a chair. I was
finally given a set of the Cuticura
Remedies and inside of two weeks I
couid see and feel a great relief. I
kept on using Cuticura Soap. Ointment
and also the Resolvent, and in about
three or four months’ time my back
was nearly cured and I felt like a new
being. Now I am in good health and
no sign of any skin diseases and I
am fully satisfied that Cuticura Reme
dies are the best ever made for skin
diseases. I would not be without
them.” (Signed) W. A. Armstrong.
Corbin, Kan., May 26, 1911. Although
Cuticura Soap and Ointment are eold
by druggists and dealers everywhere,
a sample of each, with 32-page book,
will be mailed free on application to
“Cuticura,'’ Dept. L., Boston.
Explained.
"Heigho!" sighed Mrs. Stoutly. “You j
used to sit with your arm around my |
waist, John, but you never do it any
more.”
“I'm sorry, dear,” replied Stoutly, j
' but there are some things that are
beyond my reach."—Harper's Weekly. |
Numerical Logic.
“What makes you think Jones is on
his feet again in the factory?"
“I noticed he had so many hands."
We are told that it is the unexpect
ed that always happens. If this is
true, we should learn to expect it.
ONLY ONE “BROMO OLIVINE.”
That is LAXATIVE BROMO QCININK. Look for
the fci£Ti&ttire of E. >\ . GROY K. Used the World
oier to Cure s Cold In one l)oj. 25c.
The man who is satisfied with him
self never worries on account of his
neighbor's estimate of him.
Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums, reduces infiarama
Lon, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25c a bottle.
When a man has occasion to ap
pear before a police magistrate he is
apt to forger his own name.
A fresh hand-made cigar, so rich in quality that many smokers prefer
it to mcst 10c cigars. Teil the dealer you want Lewis’ Single Binder.
W. L. DOUGLAS
’2.25, *2.50, *3, *3.50,*4 & *5 SHOES
All Styles, All Leathers, All Sizes and Widths,
for Men, Women and Boys.
THE STANDARD OF QUALITY
FOR OVER 30 YEARS
THE NEXT TIME YOU NEED SHOES
give W. L. Douglas shoes a trial. W. L.
Douglas name stamped on a shoe guar
antees superior quality and more value t
for the money than other makes. His
name and price stamped on the bottom
protects the wearer against high prices
and inferior shoes. Insist upon having |
Khe genuine W. L. Douglas shoes. |
Take no substitute. ' I
^HOW TO ORDES B i KAIL. Shoes Sent Everywhere — All Charges Prepaid.
UW.LTVnglM are not sold inyourtcwn. send d.rtvt 10 factory. Tak<* meanrements
of foot a? showr. in model. state style desired ; - re and width us uillv worn: plain
Srar SW cr ••.iptiv; h- riTy. mHmm or light sole. / *f»» #«/a r*jr« irf shoe tnaii order btisi
. rap toe; tteaer. medium or light i
nwin the world, lllus. Catalog Free.
n ti. e fa rat si __ _ ___
T5TX. DO ~r; 3park.8v^rocitou,Maa*.
SURE NOT,
Editor—That expression is too back- ■
neyed.
Reporter—What expression?
Editor (reading copy)—"The jury
acted as a body."
Reporter—Gee whiz! You surely
don’t expect a jury to act as a brain.
Hobby of Wealthy Englishman.
The earl of Mouut-Edgcumbe. who
will be entertaining many parties at
Mount-Edgcumbe during the next few
months, would have been able to make
a living as an architect if he had been
born in a less exalted sphere. He de
votes some of his spare moments
evolving fascinating toy palaces, each
a study of its kind, perfect in every '
detail. One he had lighted with elec
tricity. These Aladdin palaces are
sometimes passed on to lucky chil
dren of his acquaintance.—London
Sketch.
Woman has led the world since it
began. She took the leading part in
the first drama. “Man and the Ser
pent."—Paul Blouet.
We Give Away
Absolutely Free of Cost]
The People’s Common Sense Medical Adviser, in Plain
English, or Medicine Simplified, by R. V. Pierce, M. D.,
Quel Consulting Physician to the Invalids’ Hotel and Sur*
gicftl Institute at Buffalo, • book of 1008 large pages and “
over 700 illustrations, in strong paper covers, to any one tending 21 one-cent
tumps to cover cost of mailing tidy, or, in French Cloth binding for 31 stamps.
Over 680,000 copies of this complete Family Doctor Book were sold in doth
binding at regular price of $1.50. Afterwards, one and a half million copies
were given away as above. A new, up-to-date revised edition is now ready
for mailing. Better send NOW, before all are gone. Address Void's Dis«
vbnsaey Medical Association, R. V. Pierce, M. D., President, Buffalo, N. Y.
DR. PIERCE’S FAVORITE:
THE ONE REMEDY for woman’s peon
that its makers are not afraid to
PRESCRIPTION
outside wrapper its
I
More Like Him.
"Yo' act me b’out Mis Johnsing an'
her husban’ las week. Miss Lou.” said
Matilda, looking up from her iromne.
“Ah seen Mis Johnsing on de street
!as' night an' she says dey gone to
hoa'din'. Her husban' been out of
wo'k fo‘ de las' sis monts an’ dey
cayn' 'ford to keep house no mo'.
Ah t'ink it mighty foolish 'cos dey's
sto'in dere fu'niture an’ it cos'es dem
fifty cents a mon't to keep it in do sto'
house, an' ef dey don' pay it ebe’v
mont' de money keep a-growin' an’
a-growing, an’ a-bur-owin' into dere
bank 'count, jes' like a eatin' cancer.
Ah tol' Miss Johnsing dat, an Ah say
w'y don' she put her husban' to wo'k.
He right able body man. 'Hitch de
reins to de mule,' Ah say. 'an' don' yo'
wo'k yo’ finger nails to de quick fo'
dat niggah." But she say he can' fin’
no wo'k he like, dough he out all day
an' sometimes till 12 o’clock at night
a-lookin'. Ah reckon he don' like no
wo'd he can fin', dat's w’ot’s de mat
tah."
Works Either Way.
Tatterdon Torn—Wot drove you to
drink. T'irsty?
Thirsty Thingumbob—Me love for a
woman.
Tatterdon Torn—Did she turn you
down or marry you?
MUNYONS
PAW-PAW
PILLS
FREE
I want every person
who is bilious, consti
pated or has any stom
ach or liver ailment to
send for a free package
of my Paw-Paw Pills.
I want to prove that
they positively cure In
digestion, Sour Stom
ach, Belching, Wind,
Headache, Nervous
ness. Sleeplessness and
are a:i Infallible cure
for Constipation. To do
this* I am vriilin? to jnve millions of free pack
ages. I take ail the risk. Sold by drusrjrists
for *25 cents a vial. For free package address.
Prof. Munyon, 53rd & Jefferson Sts.. Philadelphia, Pa.
FORSALK—Bigbargain. Poorhe.vltbnecessitates
moving to Cut it ora: a. 40 acres a Italia. gtain also
another 10 acres apples and pears, alfalfa under
trees. also another 11 acres apples and pears all full
bearing, tine htdjrs. If interested write for descrip
tion. UrK-, Sib*‘rl iajBrK*»rh,bnu»dittr.r.ioi,.t t.L. K. U. S.
Brown’s BronchialTroches
An old and reliable Cough Remedy. No opiates.
Sample free Jo ax I. Bsowf <k So s, Boston. Mass.
FOR SALE—155 ACRES IN HICKORY CO , MO ;
IJU acres cult.: all tillable; house, luro, outbuild
ing?. stock, machinery, etc.: near town: all conven
iences. Price 0. Add. CROSS, Box 3114. Chicago.
can be had in western Minn, at (40
per acre producing corn, small grain,
ard tunic grasses as good as Iowa or
Me hr. Write Him. Vaughn, 3©rri*. linn.
TO SETTLE ESTATE—145 ACRES IN POWESHIEK
Co.. Iowa; near Griitnell: all conveniences: well
Improved: h6 acr. cart.: will Bacriflo1. For particu
lars address HKACOCK, Box oly, Chicago.
FOR SALE-- A BARGAIN—12T7 A. IN FAYKTTH
Oo.. 111.; near Browns town: all conveniences: C7 a.
cult.; best improvements: complete. For particu
lars address EFFINGHAM, Box 513, Chicago.
Penn's Lve Salve
iso toss ns
8IACX KIEF
tit trams
W. N. U, OMAHA, NO. 6-1912.