The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917, February 16, 1911, Image 3
MODERN SCIENCE as First AID 70 CUPID ■ r " HAT would you think it coaching yoor ; «*.?_ heart's tend- * and "* srulk.1 « .'! overflow itt ’t< N'ts and da eh'm tJ -n- Morse . V : cun t brush the pa: Et*I parlor r.g with yoor knees l,\ wir,*!«•!►». yon can't ad vi*h jt..r . , • when words tall, with a ealloaaed operator it C«l4d » role ■ i • "* the thins ha* !> et d'-t. • at.lt :■;.»< rSillily Only a lew d- - jxm m j'sm man aerom piifhi it the ttofeotolMe and iroughi hi a-I if hark m*sa a transatlantic Ills* h; w • • :• tt'i heir (4 car ri_ - : t •• :<t>l»cs. proposal* by pho i. by ! • <lal train*, anti • .... >r r. mar - - now what, in ‘-a t - »h al "1 10 oil iur . r. !> • in bis kr.-es from *ia» ;-■*• and u k fatter ■ r* rtaiasloo «Mt Me » ding? It.* i..••■*! . . ei : ? J flagrant flo’a ’Mm of tbe »taH |< rmulas was this *n kum i young Lawrence Crt;>-hrd «•? Chi. „go. but i: is tiiaply an osat-a «! »h..t one may eapect in the t sitore Thi* u the story. Ml-* Le-.;- Miller Of i 'h.1 ago Went t* s*a Pram we me* months ago »!*h her ♦..•••*!• - :.nd th< re met a « .!« mac »Li ■ rest ually proved an eit. -j.rt-'ug Uirbir'-sf Lawrence Critrfc* J »•*• Miss Milter in and about town •• -r nearly a week. During this tm-: . • m -d b> .>',y—or to be more p-> •_ • gw-al'.y exact—sub now* >:> became enamored of the yesag .ad Fi r some reason this did me dasn i**e him until *h«- who had te.*pir«-d • aw *ted t -mors t A $ •• Sir* Oorg- Mill* r and h« r «igi.‘*f were bound for Chicago and New V • k •n/.t• f IT l*aris "Vhen Mss* MCN-r disaffwwred from his fight Crstched for the flrs! time r< alls* d that e»« . hit x was lacking in bis Me Wireless tne Last Resource. It- ** aided th ce lt train east and 1< ‘4 ip •' t sp-i- iai at a half dozen Maticts to .-•»<! port in*, iel grams after *fc. t- • ■•k. r and ua.rb*.-r. All his haute was ot no a rail, for when Le r- _• 1 d New York Mi.-- Miller Lad alreadj -:i-4 for K-rope. There a as nothing Mi l»ut wtr*P-*». it was too 1st- to pttn-ue h r with a tag or any thing <4 that »<>•-. tfc wireless had to t*at His fir*’ c • ut re warded wi*t» an an.-twer Yes—#b« liked LI*- ! _i *be was noncommittal. A lew u ■■■• heat-4 m* - sag** i -otthd the ether and lb* wojxeil was ac cepted. aists hy wfroMo. She prom ised to reftam ! y the host boat and she kept her wood ,-h- atr»»--4 In New York *he first week <d the new year and. of roars*, as the best sellers hare It. they were tnHSali-. -tj py in •heir re union They were ju ried at the Chicago borne in i*ralrt- • venae with all dispatch and proceeded >« th :r bop tmens accord ing to the accepted rcorentlons. TLti. of cuors*. is typically Amer ican for no on* could onreire of such i *ti s happening abroad, and It Is of no-ifj - barar* eristic of this age. Opperfu' ty ‘is Tr.ril.irg Romance. Arroptanrs arc- still tr the hand- of 4hmi> smtsn and rspeTfucntaUsts. bn: erta cly the day is not far dis tant when th« oatrag- d parent of an elcgdrg fatrcl'.fcr will rumble down •!: a; it couple In hi? eighty • . • r • ir only to see them rise '': ■ ■: ami soar aloft as on a i ,-> What a thrilling Jules •Id 1" written right sh ! scientific devices •!. . to the plot. T:.l. i: a pattern romance. *; • >o Reginald's presence th hot. <•. He is forbidden to .ill ad Gwendolyn pines alone. ciuald i ior a time frantic, then 1 ; ■ tl-i t. nd th -n an inspiration • «il it de-pondency. Gwen •• :. t i! - a phonograph. Acting on • i •; it j”- n Ui giaald invests in an t: t and tiuarh. - passion into the »in horn ufn r this fashion: t '.i- Gi. r.dolyn. do you recog t.ise ‘hi,, volte? I know It is strange in y« tat . for sorrow has clouded f y soul and the tones that were once • try. which vibrated with the joy tl it I felt it life**—and so forth tor -f i'h of the record: then the ?i .<>" :i!£ wn hurried, dramatic whis Owennii. di ar, be at your win w Wednesday night at 9:30 and v.e'U | :t or.s over on the old man out into my ?i$ cylinder and 'll 1 ,i' it to my aero shed, where ‘h. P- > • will have the biplane ready for u? Mittd you. Gwennie, no ut*k* " This is not exactly amorous : -tt n but under the pressure of • th» best lover will lapse into the vernacular. G.vercalyr. the Unsuspecting One. Gwendolyn in the privacy of her ■ : to which she has retired to pine receiver, the record with the next ... u:. :< nt 'M :u the dealer and after _■ it • a few rag'imers and reproduc •: ns of t'ar.so and Melba she slips I * plnald's r- < rd on the machine and in' ■ a tf. first words, just recov ers in til..-' to h-ar the elopement •d;*:.s They -lope Father pursues in aeroplane. They capture a par -■>u and embark^with him on a sub marine and come to the surface just in :me to ?•> father's specially char I turbine iim-r bearing down up ■ »ii - ' t*-«. new? of the wedding is irauriuit: 'd tiv wireless telephone and i. given.•.-> is forthcoming by the ..i...- m* slum, whereupon they ail re • .:n by transatlantic diiigible which happens to be passing r.i *-n this scheme of affairs—oa which, by the way. no rights are pre ■ • !>'• 1 -fail.- to include a proposal i y t p ;,athy and a marriag* over the ri:• : telephone. There have actu *lly 1>* *■’ pioposa’s hv phonograph ti»h strai •: complications. There is ■ lie in-1acre on record where the ob .1 r.i s parents received the ff :1 in"?sagt first, ran it off on the v r fr .ch- ami intercepted all the ;!^r. - Then* have bten marriages • iv« r th - t*-lfphone where the run i* y couple were besieged in such a :..rhi* n that they could not reach a 1 parser, or magistrate to tie the bow line knot -o they just called one on he ph r. end had him read the serv l ice over the wire, they making the -. ;.<c -es and transf< rriffg the ring in th* most approved fashion. Tt* marr *1 bureau was a novelty in • day. a radical departure from the nventioi - of wooing, proposing, c j-irig at •! wedding, but the telephone v. ddicjr. the wireless proposal and •he aeroplane flight in no wise con flict with th* sacred formulas of mat th y simply i:se new instruments to :c ill- the most ancient and tltii* horor *d ceremonies. Now, for instance. If a young man a century or so hence finds it impossi ble to reach his beloTed in the hour of his inspiration he Is really commit ting no sin against convention by transmitting his immortal question through the medium of the impalpable ether. A proposal by telepathy, if it be properly directed and not permit ted to wander astray and settle upon the wrong recipient, should be quite as proper and should be as impartial ly considered as a kneeling petition on the aforesaid parental rug. What a boon this same telepathy will be to the separated lovers! The young woman sits in the parental homestead under a severe matronly eye. Suddenly a message begins to tattle upon the keys of her trained and receptive mind. "116110, Mabel, (his is John. I have a scheme for our elopement, etc., etc.” “All right, John, dear.” says Mabel, as she picks the iint off her father’s coat and hands him his hat, "I think we can*shut poor o!d dad’s eye this time,” and the elope ment is executed or interrupted, ac 'ordirsg to the feasibility of John’s scheme. a n.oro ccmmonruace and yet a :uc.-t modern and effective medium for romance has been discovered by the apple packing girls of the fruit grow ing west. The young woman who -slips red apples into a crate wearies of the society in which she has been placed. So she secretly ties tags to he stems of several handsome apples, giving her name, address and inti mating that she would be delighted to hear irom the recipient if the re cipient should happen to be a male. Now these buxom maids of the healthy and hearty west often make good wives and the lonely bachelor cho eventually purchases the apples is delighted with the prospect of com ing in touch with a pretty girl, differ -nt from the staid and conventional maidens of his acquaintance. He writes a breezy letter and receives a beerv response and a picture. He t aeks a shirt and two collars into his grip and starts west. They meet, blush, giggle and talk through a meal. A week or so later they start east •egfiher—the happy culmination of an apple romance. Of course, they do not ail end this way. Missives Gc Wrong. Unhappily many of these little mis sives fall into the hands of the un available. But romances have come from them and such affairs are not confined to apples,"hut apples are the latest and the girls behind the apples need little recommendation, if all ac counts of the apple country are to bo credited. This is terribly plebeian, compared with the future wedding of a girl in Uhicago with an impatient lover in Hongkong by wireless telephone and such things as submarine elopements. In this age of special trains and scores | of gilded swains who can afford to ride in them, a man can pick up his ! beloved in one town, a justice of the peace in the next, and be married en route before the pursuers have run their automobile out of the shed. A troubled mother may endeavor to rush her daughter away from London to evade the attentions of a suitor who does not fit into the family ideals of a husband, but by taking a fast train to Dover or Plymouth and running out on a lighter, the energetic Lochin var can get aboard and persuade one of the numerous pastors always to be founds on a trans Atlantic liner to per form the ceremony while the watchful matron is congratulating herself on her cleverness. Results Discouraging to Others. Everyone remembers that Liim Cav alier! was captured by cable, but this must not be dwelt upon, for the re sults of the Chanler wooing might be discouraging to those who contem plate a similar campaign upon the heart of a maiden far removed. Lawrence Critchell's success in his pursuit of Miss Leslie Miller is a more wholesome example and in viewT of this episode it would seem that there are really no obstacles to true love any more. Every gain in speed of transmission and y^msportation is a gain of Cupid. Every obstacle over come by science makes a breach for the clever and wily little invader. Now think what would happen if there had been no wireless. Mr. Critchell would have had to wait for the next boat ana continued his pursuit to I Paris. There he would, doubtless, have found that the Millers had gone to Italy. By the time their stopping place had been discovered in Italy they would have returned to America and whatever the optimistic may have to say about absence and the fond ness of the heart, love in these days of hurry and impatience is not as everlasting as it was in pastoral Ar cadia. Perhaps the wireless was wholly : responsible for the success of a real ! romance—perhaps there would have i been one anyway, but at least It saved : time—enormou^lv. And then it dem ; onstrated br-yond refutation that love ! is a ged wide awake to advantages, I not so highly perched among the t mists of Olympus that he cannot de ' scend to use the man made devices, without which the gods manage to get along somehow in their own relations, if tradition is worth anything. VAGARIES OF ENGLISH NAWES Tra»- *r After Much Hue hatior Re turn* *e Hta Y;rk. Where Letters fese'l W.rtSc. There s * c»4 deal of fan yoked at iacrirtu hr Ksgiish j.«-■ ;d*- because cat the tsrrtrvt iiteccr- .a iots. ears a writer in the Outdouk. Here are some cf the advent arcs is nem.es met with m m iwrpt trt;- to Knglat.d. It tegwn on n steamer cr.. wing the Atlantic The Amervaa'i « hur Lai-; u*-d to be placed t'lth that of a tmelookine jut whose raltivafed arc* i.t .aidant ly prorUitid him »n IXnglnJarwa, In the coarse of rtrtl» the gracious st ran ger struck up a conversation and band •4 has feUow passenger a card, which read; Mr -Gi< Cher. of somewhere te Clour- idee. Wbea the Xew Yorker sdflrresci hM tenuaintar.ee as Mr. • Gleg her. the British gentleman r.crer gtesered an sgrtste. hat sudd blandly. • Brow anced Klore, If you don't mind.'' -it th« . :<ott American saw very caretvl abaci it after that. ton la Surrey he wanted to take Ira n fcr Pontefract Common. He k. i! ike Ticket seller for a ticket to tne t lace, pronouncing it as it is | T-lled. "So such place, sir. said the • rk ' Surely." the tourist protested, ■ re it is." aud. fumbling for bis pre- | - m. p. laid a triumphant linger up on it. "Oh, Pomfret!" said the pale •: • d ticke- vendor, and smiled pitying 'y That's it—Pomfret,” the visitor - id bravely, and pocketed his heavy -hange. At the station at "Pomfret."’ a 1 aim i Id omnibus stood waiting with a -:gn on the side announcing that it nveyed passengers to the St. Leger ! inn and Wrensfordsley Hall for six- j f nee. The man from the west asked i •i;e sk-epv-looking driver which was •he smaller boose, the St. Leger or the , \Vr« i sforsley. but was met with that Wank, dazed look which he had now j learned to connect with his bad pro nunciation. "See here, f.iy good man.” he said, how do you pronounce this name?” pointing to St. Leger with his stick. j “Why. Sillenger. sir.” Oh! ! !” said the astonished for ! oigner. "And now how do you pro nounce this?"—his stick cn Wrens fordsley. "Rensley, sir.” “Well, drive me to Rensley Hall, then.” And he got in and made an other entry in his note book. Among numerous other instances was a Mr. Colclough who sold fish In a Surrey village and pronounced his name Cok ley, without rhyme or reason. A Mr. Magheramern was clerk of a hotel, and got Marramorn out of his name. The visitor was introduced to a Mr. Munie, and found out afterward that he spelled it XIonzie. A lovely young English widow was the lady at the American's left at an English dinner party; she was called Raven, but he learned af terward that it was only an alias, her real name being Ruthven. After that the traveler thought it was time to go home to rest, and so he sailed for New York, where letters spell words, and are not just put in for fun. Eighty-five thousand square miles oi land are drained by Lake Superior. IH TRAGEDYQF GOLD Death and Mystery Watch Ovef the Sharon Millions. So Far There Have Been Four Mur ders, Three Suicides and Two Disappearances in the Cal ifornia Case. San Francisco.—Frederick Fermor Hesketh, lieutenant Ninth Lancers, British army, on seven days' leave, stood on the pier at Queenstown, Ire land. The next day he was lost to the world. Thus another tragedy is linked with the name of Sharon, or, as they phrase it on the Pacific coast, with the long-dead argonaut's money bags. Stretching wide the list there are disclosed four murders, three sui cides and two disappearances. Lieu tenant Hesketh. in the latter classifi cation, was Sharon's grandson. William Sharon was ore of the Goid Hills pioneers. He stepped out of cowhide bcots into patent leathers; from a mountain shack to a city man sion, from the Crown Point and Beich er mines in Nevada. He became a senator frcm that state. The wealth he left behind made a pyramid of millions, and likewise a pyramid of trouble. William C. Ralston, who oiten had j shared the output oi his battered co£ fee pot with Sharon in his roughshod j days, started the list. When the finan cial pinch caught Sharon's bank and irightened San Francisco didn't know whether its money was good, bad or indifferent, Ralston accused Sharon, and then took his own life. Ralston's son, Samuel, went to Si- ; beria, where he believed there was another El Dorado. He failed to find i it, returned and killed himself. Two of his friends were murdered, another died in a duel. Getting back to Sharcn. the Forty niner. Some time after the death of Mrs. Aharon Senator Sharon was sued by a woman known as Sarah Althea Hill. She entered into the contest for Sharon's money with enery and zeal. Her counsel was David S. Terry. i Terry was elected chief justice of the California supreme court, and had served just long enough to become Lieu:. hermcr-i-.esKCin. familiar with the judicial routine j when he and Senator David C. Brod erick. entertaining conflicting opin- j Ions, adopted the hair-trigger method j nf settlement at the prescribed fifteen paces. Broderick waited for the see- j ond. Terry split it and fired. Brod- ! erick fell dead. Terry pleaded the cause of his ro- ; bust client before Justice Stephen J. < Field. Sharon died, but Sarah Althea Hill's suit lived on. Terry one day ; surprised his friends by marrying his ' client. Justice Field ordered the eancella tion of the marriage contract on the j ground of forgery. Justice Field ' stepped off a train. Terry and his 1 wife coincidently stepped from a train at the same time. Terry stepped be- j hind Field and slapped his face with the back of the hand. A marshal shot Terry dead. Charles Livingston, who was a pro- ! tege of Sharon's, became manager of I the Palace hotel in San Francisco, j Livingston had boarded at one time 1 with a certain Sarah Mitchell, when the fight to get at the Sharon millions was at its height. Miss Mitchell came to the front with a package of mvs terious letters. She demanded $50.00C for them, but she didn't get it There was talk of a conspiracy. Living ston's name was mentioned unpleas antly in that connection. One morn ing he was found dead in his room in the Palace hotel with a pistol shot in his heart. Sharon's two daughters grew to womanhood surrounded by luxury. One daughter fell in love with Sen aior Xewlands of Nevada and became bis wife. The other, Florence Milv Sharon, was married to Sir Thomas tlrorge Fermor-Hesketh. Lady Hes fceth bad two sons, both soldiers. The lieutenant of Lanciers who disap peared was the younger. The Palace hotel and hundreds ol other pieces cf Sharon property were burned in the fire which followed the i earthquake on the Pariflchapast. Violin With Keys. Paterson, X. J.—A violin which can be played with keys, as a piano is played, is the novel Invention of Jamqs L. Warner, of Roselle Park Many inventors are said to have striv en for what Warner alone has achiev ed. It is built like an upright piano. The keys and the sounding board are the same as the familiar parlor in strument. The violin effect is pro duced by a series of flexible rubber hows, one for each string, and oper ated by a band which is set in rootiom by a treadle. As each key is pressed it brings the requisite bow in contact with the key wire and produces sound until released. Spoke But Once In Fifty Years, English. Ind.—Insane for the last fifty years and not having spoken a word during that time, Philip Durk hart of this place is dead at the age of ninety years. During the Civil war he lost his mind. lie became superstitious on the subject of witches and kept a gun loaded with needles to shoot them Three d -s before he died he broke his long silence and predicted that he was to die. He passed away within an hour of the time he named. USE FOR THE NEWSPAPER Story That Contains a Moral It Might Be Well to Keep In Memory. A little King Charles dog, a pet in a family where he had been the play mate of a little boy, slipped through an open door some time ago and dis appeared. Servants and the children of the house searched everywhere, asked questions at ail places w here it was thought possible the dog might be in hiding, but to no avail, and the animal was finally given up for lost and there was deep mourning in the nursery. One day recently the wom an who owned the dog met a neigh bor at a florist's shop, who had on a leash a dog strangely like the lost pet, and asked where he came from. "Why, he ran into our house a few days ago and we don’t know where he belongs.’ The dog knew his old mis tress and was quickly surrendered. ’You might have had him sooner, had you advertised." said one woman. "And you could have found the owner soon er had you advertised,” said the other —and the newspaper man who heard the story added the moral. CURED HER BABY OF ECZEMA "I can't tell in words how happy the word 'Cuticura' sounds to me, for it cured my baby of itching, torturing eczema. It first came when she was between three and four weeks old, appearing on h :*r head. I ttsed every thing imaginable and had one doc tor's bill after another, but nothing cured it. Then the eczema broke out so badly behind her ear that I really thought her ear would come off. For months I doctored it but to no avail. Then it began at her nose and her eyes were nothing hut sores. I had to keep her in a dark room for two weeks. The doctor did no good, so I stopped hiru coming. "For about two weeks I had used Cuticura Soap for her every day, tben I got a box of Cuticura Ointment and began to use that. In a week there was a marked improvement. In ail I used two cakes of Cuticura Soap and one box of Cuticura Ointment and my baby was cured of the sores. This was last November; now her hair is growing out nicely and she has not a scar on her. I can not praise Cuti cura enough, I can take my child any where and people are amazed to see her without a sore. From the time she was four weeks oid until she was three years she was never without the terrible eruption, but now, thanks to Cuticura, I have a well child.’’ (Sign ed) Mrs. H. E. Householder, 2004 Wil helm St., Baltimore, Md., May 10, 1S10. No Need to Be Good. A little Shaker Heights girl surpris ed her parents last week by refusing to be scared into being good. "It’s no use telling me Sam/i Claus won't come, or that the angels will write it down in their book if I’m naughty, mamma," she said. "I might as well tell you that they think up in heaven that I'xa dead.” "But why should they think that, dear?" "Because, I haven’t said my prayers for two weeks."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. His Laour-Saving Device. “I have discovered a great labor saving device.” "I always said you were a genius. What is it?" "I'm going *o marry Miss Bullion, the heiress." Give Defiance Starch a fair trial— try it for both hot and cold starching, and if you don't think you do better work, in less time and at smaller cost, return it and your grocer will give you back your money. Cause Enough. “What’s the bearded lady so mad about?" inquired the armless won der. “Somebody sent her a catalogue of a safety razor factory." said the living skeleton.—Chicago Tribune. BEAUTIFUL POST CARDS FREE. Send 2c stamp for five samples of cur very best Go’. 1 Embossed, < tood Luck, Flower and M dm Post Cards; beautiful colors and love ■>; desi: tns. Art Post Card Club, 731 Jackson St.. Topeka, Kan. In Boston. Mrs. Beans —How rapidly Emerson grows! Mrs. Cod—Yes; he will be in short specs very soon.—Harper’s Bazar. FSB ALLEN'S FOOT-EASE the antiseptic powder to be shaken into the shoes. It makes your f»et feei easy an.t com fortable and makes walking a dr'iit-ht, Soli everywhere. Si-. /’ 'I, Ir . for free trial package, address A ieu S.Olmsteati L .-Boy JK.y. Let us make the best of our friends while we have them, for how long wo shall keep thtr.i is uncertain.—Seneca. _x__ Don’t worry about vonr complexion— take Garfield Tea, the blood purifier. Angelfood cakes seldom make boy3 angelic. Smokers like Lewis’ Single Binder cigar for its rich mellow quality. Few women can draw a straight line—none can argue in it. J^cIlDmet f**m%v|AlHNG powder /a * ^ I 1 n\ '^le won<^er °f bak ;j J|§ § / I ing powders—Calumet. Wonderful in its raising V. *tS -never ^a*^n» results, its pi X \\ \ \ 1 Wonderful in its economy. f?a la X \\ \ \ 1 ll TV h costs less than the high-price Ms ra X \\ \ \ 1 ll // *rus^ brands, but it is worth as &/ M \ V \ \ i // / / much. It costs a trifle more than iff H X \ \M // // .*be cheap and big can kinds— iy ^ \ y \\ 11 // *£ *s worth more. But proves its ^ \ rea* econorny in the baking. jgy Us« CALUMET—the j^THE l^PER!AL5th0“Quanty55C3r g No inferior material can enter into our construction. Simplicity and durability are the founda ■ lions of our success. We court closest inrestigitioa. The more you know about auto 1 mobile construction, the more anxious we are to have you study ours. 10 models, I 2, 4 ar.d 5 passenger. $1530 to $2000. Get our be; catalog. Some agents territory open. Manufactured by Distributorj for V5 - Western Iowa. Neb ! ft Ft RIAL ' ... w raska and Wyoming ^UT3K3«ILE BRADLEY ‘ * ,Sv . _ m \ MERRIAM CUiferJH i t & crjiitm ' THE IMPERIAL W^V “ 5Wm M *£ckson, Michigan MoJe, 30 Price $1353 Council Bluffs, Iowa F” DIStEMPEE -ait Catarrhal Fever Sure cure and posltl re preventive. no matter bow horse?at any etajre are Infected or “exposed.** Liquid.4r 1 ven on tuedomrue; acts oe the Blood and Glands: expels the t» upoaous germs from the body. CureslMsteroper In iVtgs and oheepnnd ('hole ra In roultry. Lanrest selling lire Ftock remedy. Cure* 1a Grippe amont human beluga and !* a fine Kidney remedy. 50c and ll h bottle. f.S and HO a dozen. Cut tbl»out. Keep It. i-howtoyourdn.cgist. who wlllgetltforyou. Free Booklet, "Idfctcmpejt Causes and Cures. ’ Special Agents wanted. SPOHH MEDICAL CO., «&hc•«,«".» 6QSHEK. IID.. 0. S. A. ——i i —!■ nnra——m——o—— m—wna— «■■ ———b——— A Country School for Girls in New York City Best features cf Country ar.d City Life Out-of-door Sports on School Park of 35 acres near the Hudson River. Full Academic Course from Primary Class to Graduation. Cpper Class for Advanced Special Students. Music and Art. Certificate admits to College. School Coach Meets Day Pupils. Mis* Bangs and Miss Whiton, Riverdale Ave, near 252d St., West It is better to be a dark horse than a black sheep. — The very best advice: take Garfield Tea j < whenever a laxative is needed. Social fame lasts as long as the possessor is present. Sirs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup for Children teething:, softens the jrums, reduces inflamma tion, allays pain, cure^ wind colic, 25c a bottle. The brotherhood of man does mean better wages, but it also means bet- j Iter work. PTT.ES CntED IN' C TO 14 OATS Teardruggist will murd if PAZO OIST Vr.VT fails to cur" any cast? of Itching, Blind, ■ B.coding or Protruding Piles in 5 to 14 days. 50c. -, In the fulfillment of duty we have a sense of blessedness, even in hours of weariness and simple endurance.— j Taylor. — The greatest cause of worry on ironing day can be removed by using Defiance Starch, which will not stick j to the iron. Sold everywhere, 16 oz. for 10c. Not for Mortal Understanding. What fond mother has not, at some time, said: “My child, you are much too young to ever understand; you will find out when you get older all you wish to know will be explained.” And how- many of us are still waiting 1 for the reason, for some one to ex plain—are we still too young? Per ; haps we are. and again, perhaps we are not—perhaps it never shall be ex : plained to us; there are things wrap ped in voiceless mystery. Runs on the Bank of England. Even the Bank of England has not been entirely free from runs nor from the necessity of saving itself by strategy. In 1745, for instance, it was forced to employ agents to present notes, which were paid as slowly as possible In sixpences, the cash being immediately brought in by another j door and paid in again, while anxious , holders of notes Tainly tried to se cure attention. In 1S25, too, only the accidental discovery of 700,000 £1 notes saved the bank from stopping • payment.—London Chronicle. Hew F-st Proved It. An Irishman was once serving in a regiment in India. Not liking the climate, Pat tried to evolve a trick by i which he could get home. Accordingly j he went to the doctor and told him j ' his eyesight was bad. The doctor | looked at him for a while and then I ! said: "How can you prove to me that vour eyesight is bad?" Pat looked about the room and at last said: “Well, doctor, do ye see j that nail on the wall?” "Yes," replied the doctor. “Well,” then replied Pat, “I can't." * —Chicago Tribune. Some tombstone inscriptions are too good to be true. Garfield Tea purifies the blood and eradi cates rheumatism. It is made of Herbs. Had His Uses. “Tou don't make very good muslo with that instrument,” said the inno cent bystander to the man behind the bass drum as the band ceased to play. “No." admitted the drum-pounder; “but I drown a heap of bad.” Plain as Day. A man recently visited the art museum in Chicago and wandered about looking at the paintings with more or less Interest. He finallj stopped in front of a portrait whict showecja man sitting in a high-backed chair. There was a small white card on the picture, reading: “A portrait of E. H. Smith, by him self.” The man read the card and the* chuckled to himself. “What fools these city folks are!* he said. “Anybody who looks at that picture would know Smith’s by him self. There ain't anyone else in th« picture.”—Chicago Tribune. COLDS r Munyon’s Cold Remedy Relieves the bead, throat'and lungs almost Immediate ly. Checks Fevers, stops Discharges of the nose, takes away all aches and pains caused by colds. It cures Drip ana ob« stinate Coughs and prevents Pneumonia. Write Prof. Munyon, 53rd and Jefferson Sts..-> Phila., Pa., for medical advice ab» solutely tree. The Wretchedness of Constipation Can quickly be overcome by CARTER’S LITTLE LIVER PILLS. Purdy vegetable Small PSD. Small Dan, Small Price, f Genuine mmtbeu Signature Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription Is the hest o£ alt medicines for the cure of diseases, disorders and weaknesses peculiar to women. It is the only preparation of its kind devised by a regularly gradu ated physician—an experienced end skilled specialist in the diseases of women. It is a safe medicine in any condition of the system. THE ONE REMEDY which contains no alcohol and no injurious habit-forming drugs and which creates no craving for such stimulants. THE ONE REMEDY so good that its makers are not afraid to print its every ingredient on each outside bottle-wrapper and attest to tha truthfulness of the same under oath. it .is sold by medicine dealers everywhere, and any dealer who hasn t it can get it. Don’t take a substitute of unknown composition for this medicine of knovx composition. No counterfeit is as good as the genuine and the druggist who says something else is “just as good as Dr. Pierce’s" is either mistaken or is trying to deceive you for his own selfish benefit. Such a man is not to be trusted. He is trifling with your most priceless possession—your health— may be your life itself. 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