Curious Cases From A
I~l Doctor s Diary! T
N«rr*f«ve» of Orlali Prco>
it*f ?.s>i»orfes in (hr Practice
of ■ | aoaiisi Pk>ilcl*a>
-Surfron
By L. T. MEADE and
DOCTOR CLIFFORD
HALIFAX
MY FIRST PATIENT
ti L**. by W. O. Chapman)
r \ sn.\N«K coin
cUemr I lit busily
engaged in studying
■ tlaptpr on neurot
ic poisons lu Tay
or's "Practice of
Medical Juris
juadwe" when a
knots came to my
dour and my land
t. -.tercd and handed
•re a ote
' Uie-,; I.CI-T is Wilting. Sir." title
m.'i "i! hit- ’ .st come from the
In .- 'a. and he wants to knot* if
(Jure is say answer."
• hid ..ist completed tny year as
fctHlir physieias at one of the largest
Iso- ! ‘r i;i V - York, and was now
urn. ying iocginps not two minutes
imii ti *- sc« ne of my former labors.
I «f ^ -u tb« cotr- hastily. It con
fainr-u but a few words:
W; I*- ur Halifax: Come over at
on. .t you Clin. You will find me in
ft e-u-d I have just lv ard of some
which I tlink will suit you ox
\ MM It iHK I Y "
1, !J t* ■ .-n~er I will attend to
’I :■ tc ; 1 aaul to the girl,
.-ili ait!- •... and pultirt the note
Il.'j i r |m .. t I donned my overcoat,
lor ilit- m; lit wn> a bitterly cold one,
ar... ;n- a mi to th*1 hospital. Kay
w;— ti. rr .-adr-nt t aryieon; we had al
**• - i •; f-fN-cml fr?<*nd.«. and he
(*■ ’ -I * »**h a h'arty h. -.dshake.
You t..ip mt yet made up your
nc-mi « ’• i iwir fuft r-T' he queried.
' N->t < j r* piled. "I may buy
a p-»> co. or try to work my way
i|» a a «-ci!*Jb:! I have a leaning
to.. .’ ! . .Ml. - cr but there is
s»u i -ea e -rry. anyway,'*
V . i,r. not avr rs to a job in the
lie xrti.ne, 1 per : UTtJf T*
Tl a ti'-j iid upon what it is.” I
*i • 11. !.• in-iv I haie just had a
frame. i<- gram from a man down
i'tat' • u. :iarrn- is Ogilvie— I u.-e-d to
*■ •'* h‘ui j-irs i"o. but have lost
ii.f : i l.-.t'-iy. His wire recalls
hi: i to n. me:: ory; he is a clever
Mkiv, ..id bought himself a good
I-'. ■ : i; (iddf rt-vllle. N. Y He has
• inti to ask me if I can send a locum
•ete - a a great hurry. This is what
tie : .i:
U ;■ ni cant attend to practice
Send eoute on** with brains in his
h id ilnwn to-night if possible."
There. Halifax. Hut this message
in * our pm-let if you mean to attend
to it Will you •’u7"
' far off is Otidersville?” I
asked.
You can get there in two hours
and a half. If you take thv nine
•*»l. i tr ii from Oraud Central it
• cl land you at your destination at
11:45»."
“Very I replied “I'm your
man Will you wire to Ogiivie. or
ah:.11 I do so, Kay?”
"i'll attend to that, my dear fel
hi.v. Vow then, good night, and good
Itu-k Isot k me up when you return."
The renal? of the foregoing conver
*at.ou was that late that night I found
mytadf standing on tin- platform of
the ra, v.ay station at Oddersville. the
only pas-i-nger who h id left the train
at that point I’n - ntly I was ap
p.-oi . ; i d by a muu In charge of a
b'. ’.r who isiulr*d if I were the sur
k i" a New York, adding that he
bad leva • -nt by |»r. Oglvl? to Meet
nie II .. r Kit r*ifd him thr.t I was
tin ? d v.'. itor. I mounted to the
a'a? h- kin, end half an hour
t:<t. i eiriv-ej at tie* door of a tin?*
•ill. ..-i Tid country mansion. Its
i lb-riu or.» i • aded favorably w ith
i: «/i i- : • a ranee of the huild
iae T* rt-.m in which I found rny
se*i :ing was lofty and large, the
w...Is lit g with good pictures, and
Hu- furniture handsome, modern and
In m -*i'eut taste. The door of the
a;>:-.i ri*:rat opened, and a gentlemanly
«*r.n with silvfr hair and a soft, long
b-..rd < titered.
Ur. Halifax.** le said, bowing to
me. "| uiu't introduce myself as Dr.
Rot. r I am an old resident of Odders
vil'e and have known the Ogilvles
I*., uiaajr pem. Mrs. Ogiivie is scri
0 »jy, | may add alarmingly, ill, and
1 -in an* tiding her.”
‘ It. Hr. Ogiivie at home?” I asked.
Pray sit down. !>r. Ha'ifax; Dr.
riu ng at tie present
r • lb- * xp?-t ted you, and sent
the (■! •. y to the station. He was
mi sinus for your arrival, and
wi!‘ i .ci mre, le- in directly. If you
wouid Uk< to come to your r?K*m 1
shall be glad to 3how you the way ”
"I think I .-huuld prefer to wait for
Or Ogitvle.” I said. "You are much
is . : J with your patient, and 1
in - nut tr.. i ess upon a moment of
your time. 1 understand from his
trlrrmni that he wants some one to
look after his patients.”
•He di”. s; he has a big practice,
ouHe the largest in Oddersville. His
wife's suJdeu illness has upset liim
frightful'}, and he cannot collect his
tlu-’ Sbb 1 suggested to him to wire
to l»ay, and am truly glad that you
have been able to respond so quickly.
Mrs. Ogilvie is very ill indeed; it is
a strange seizure. She is a young
woman, and up to the present has al
ways been healthy. She is suffering
from embolism It is ap unusual dis
ease to attack the brain of a youthful
person. Weil, 1 must return to her;
1 a 111 send the servant to attend to
you and get you some refreshment."
The warmth of my quarters and the
relaxation lrom the fatigue of my
Journey combined to weigh my eye
lids down, and I drifted unawares into
a doze, from which I was awakened by
the book falliug from my knee to the
Hoor. At the same time the little clock
on the mantelpiece chimed the hour
of three, and I started to my feet in
surprise.
"Good heavens!" I said to myself,
“1 must have had a sleep, lias not
that man returned yet from his ride?
As though it answer to my query a
hasty footstep echoed in the corridor,
the door opened, and l)r. ltoper, pale
and agitated, < ntered.
• I beg your pardon for this seem
ing neglect/’ Hr. Halifax, he said. "It
is partly my mistake, as I told the
servants that you preferred to wait j
in the consulting room until their
master returned, and the fools evi
dently took what i said literally. Of
course 1 expected that Ogilvie would
have made his appearance long ago,
but he has not done so, and 1 am at
a loss to account fo* his absence. In
tlie meantime, I wish you would come
with to my patient. Mrs. Ogilvie's
condition is so unsatisfactory that I
should like you to see her.”
i Mian be glad to assist you in
any way,” i responded, and followed
tlio old physician to the sick cham
ber. On beginning the usual examina
tion 1 found the skin of tin- patient
warm ami bathed in perspiration; the
breathing was low and had a stertor
ous sound. The pulse was very low.
I raised the lids of the eyes and peered
into them. The pupils, as I'expected,
were considerably contracted. I took
up a candle and passed it backwards
and forwards before the pale face.
The sick woman was, as 1 knew be
forehand. absolutely insensible to
light.
"1 heartily wish her husband were
at home," said Dr. I toper, anxiously,
as 1 turned from the bedside, 'I have
'lone all that is possible to arouse
her, in vain. Each hour, each mo
ment the heavy stupor in which she
is lying increases; in short, I have
every reason to apprehend the worst
consequences."
While he was speaking some of
Taylor’s opinions with regard to neu
rotic poisons Hashed before my mind.
"I should like to speak with you in
j private." I said, and led the way into
| the dressing loom.
"If Ogilvie were only here," he ex
i claimed, nervously, as soon as we
were alone. "This is a terrible re
sponsibility. VVbat is your opinion?"
"Never mind about her husband
now," I said. "There is not an in
stant to lose. You believe tier to be
suffering from embolism?"
"Undoubtedly; all the symptoms
point to it. There is a clot of blood
in one of the arteries of the brain.”
“Nothing of tin* kind." I said. ‘‘Your
patient is suffering from the effects
of an overdose of opium; not the
faintest doubt on the subject.”
To say that Dr. Roper turned pale
is to give hut a slight idea of his ap
pearance when I pronounced my ver
dict.
‘‘Nonsense," he said, with a sort of
gasp; “who would give Mrs. Ogilvie
opium? She was a perfectly strong
woman, she suffered no pain of any.
sort. There was nothing to tempt
her to administer it to herself; and
as for her husband, he is devoted to
her. For goodness' sake, young man.
don t come down to a quiet place like
this and set such a scandal afloat.”
"I don't want to set any scandal go
ing." 1 replied. ‘‘It is nothing to me
what any one thinks. You have called
me in to see the patient. I pronounce
the case one of opium poisoning, and
I Insist on immediately applying re
storatives. We must make us of the
stomach pump and see what electrici
ty will do.”
My manner was so firm, and I car
ried my convictions so plainly Writ
ten on my face, that Dr. Roper began
to be convinced against his will.
"There is not a moment to lose,” I
said "Is there an electric battery in
the house? I suppose Dr. Ogilvie has
* verything necessary for our purpose
in his surgery?”
“1 wish to state," returned Dr.
Roper, in a hesitating voice, “that my
friend Ogilvie and I consulted to
gether over this case. Our opinions
are absolutely unanimous. All the
symptoms point to a cerebral clot.”
"Excuse me,” I said. “Thestate of the
pupiis of tile eyes, the warmth of the
patient’s skin, the slow and yet ster
torous breathing, can all be accounted
for by an overdose of opium, if noth
ing is done to restore this young w orn
an she will certainly die, and If she
dies in my presence I shall deem it
my duty to see that some investiga
tions take place. It will then rest
with the post-morten examination to
prove the truth of my diagnosis or
not.”
“Very well, since you insist," mur
mured the old physician, gloomily. “I
will fetch what you require, Dr. Hali
fax, and join you in the sickroom in a
moment."
He ran downstairs, and I quickly re
turned to the patient. I felt convinced
that something horrible ' had been
done in this room, and I wondered
greatly whether_ the strong restora
tives which I meant to employ would
be in time to be of the least use.
Dr. Koper entered the room and we
began our task. The first thing was
to remove what portion of the poison
still remained unassimilated. The
electric battery was then brought into
force and artificial respiration resorted
to. For a long time we worked with
out any apparent result.
One glance at the final evidence had
caused Dr. Hoper to turn so white
that I thought he w’ould have to be
helped out of the room, but he speed
ily recovered himself and assisted me
with a will and determination which
showed that his opinion now fully co
incided with my own.
Towards morning a noise in the si
lent street caused Dr. Roper to utter
a hurried thankful exclamation, and
to my unbounded delight had an ef
fect on our patient. She opened her
eyes, gave a faint smile, looked full
at the old doctor, and murmuring her
husband's name, closed them again.
"Ogilvie has returned," said Dr.
“for Godb ke, Halifax:,
come a/ once/ ’’/he gasped
Roper, glancing at me. "Thank
heaven! Whatever detained him can
now be explained. Those were his
horse’s hoofs winch you heard Just
now clattering up to the door."
"And Mrs. Ogilvie is better,” I
said. "I have every hope that she
will do well now. I dare not leave her
for a little while, but you might go
down and acquaint Hr. Ogilvie with
what has occurred during his ab
absence.” t
“With what we found—?" began Dr.
Roper. "No, no, he is an old friend
of mine; that must be another man's
task.”
"Stay with her,” 1 whispered to the
old doctor. “You have but to ad
minister restoratives at short inter
vals; I will see Dr. Ogilvie myself
and return quickly."
I left the room expecting to see my
host mounting the stairs and hurrying
to his wife's sickroom. Instead of
that there was commotion and alarm.
Alarm on the faces of some maid
servants, who, with hot haste, were
bustling around. Voices raised to a
shrill pitch of terror and distress
sounded from the hall.
I ran dowstairs quickly. “Hush!
hush!” I said. “I must beg of you
all to be quiet. Where is Dr. Ogilvie?
I must speak to him immediately."
The servant who had let me into
the house the day before now camo
forward. He was only half dressed,
and his hair stood up wildly on his
head.
“An awful thing his happened. Dr.
Halifax,” he said. "The mare has
come home riderless!”
“Dr. Ogilvie’s mare?" I exclaimed.
“Yes, sir. There's no trace of Dr.
Ogilvie, and we all fear a bad acci
dent.” •
"A search should be made for him
at once,” I said. “’You, of course,
know two or three men who will help
you in an emergency of this kind. By
the way, is there not snow on the
ground?”
“Yes,” replied the man; “there is a
light sprinkling. The snow has been
falling for an hour or so and is now
resting.”
' The snow will help you,” I said
When 1 re-entered the sickroom and
looked at my patient my heart gave
a thankful bound. Whatever had hap
pened, whatever dark cloud was hang
ing over the house, her young life
was saved. The natural look of re
turning health was reviving on her
face. Her lips moved and she spoke
faintly;
"Is my husband in the house?" she
asked.
"No," I replied, using that latitude
with regard to truth which I consid
ered in her case absolutely necessary.
“He has been called out suddenly."
“I wonder he did not' come to see
me first," she answered, gently.
“He bad not a moment—the case
was urgent. It will be nice for him to
find you so much better.”
“Oh, yes, I am nearly well," she
said, with a smile, and then she closed
her eyes and sank into a gentle sleep.
I beckoned Dr. Roper out of the
room and told him what had occurred.
“I feel dazed, Halifax," he said. "I
cannot realize what all this means.
There isn’t a better fellow living than
Ogilvie; he is devoted to his wife, and
she, well, pretty dear, I have known
her from a baby. Who could have
given her that op’ium?”
“The thing now is to find Dr. Ogil
vie,” I said. "We will assume that
he has been thrown from his horse.”
“Why do you say we will assume
it? Of course she threw him. What
could it be but an accident?”
I made no reply, but the old doctor
read my thoughts in my face.
“No, no,” he said in trembling
tones, “it can't be that. Well, I’ll go
myself and help to look for him.”
lie made his way with faltering
steps down the stairs, and I returned
to to the sickroom. My patient still
slept, and being almost exhausted I
sat down in an easy chair and dropped
into a doze. I did not sleep long, and
when I awoke became aware that
Mrs. Ogilvie's eyes were open and
their owner regarding me with a puz
zled stare.
“I wish I knew your name," she
said. “I have seen you in my dreams
all night, but I don’t know you.”
* “My name is Halifax,” I said. “1
tm a doctor from New York; I have
come to help your husband with his
patients, and as you were very ill
last night, and Dr. Ogilvie was away,
I helped to look after you.”
“Was I very ill?” she repeated. “I
don't seem to remember anything,
only that I was drowsy and hated to
be disturbed. I had neuralgia yester
day, and my husband gave me some
thing to drink. Soon afterwards the
pain left and I felt very sleepy, noth
ing more. How could I have been
very ill if I felt no pain?"
“People are often ill without suffer
ing pain,” I replied. “I am going to
order some breakfast for you now.”
I turned to the nurse and requested
her to get some strong tea for the
patient. It was about time that I
should refresh myself with a wash,
and on the return of the nurse 1
started to leave the room when one
of the maid servants came uy and
spoke to me.
‘ There’s a woman downstairs,** she
said, “asking for Dr. Ogilvie. She
says she is one of his patients and
won't believe me when I tell her that
he’s not in and not likely to be. I
showed her into the consulting room,
and I thought perhaps you’d come
down and see her.”
“All right," I said, “I will be down
immediately.”
Having made a hasty toilet I sought
the consulting room and saw the per
sistent visitor. She was standing in
the middle of the apartment; a tall,
elderly woman with a florid face. She
had a defiant sort of appearance, and
when she saw me she gave her head
a toss. She did not look like an in
valid, and my heart gave a fresh beat
of alarm as though 1 knew, even be
fore she spoke, that a new leaf in the
Book of Tragedy was about to be
turned.
“Sit. down," I said. “I am sorry
that Dr. Ogilvie is out."
“Oh,” she replied, “as if I’m likely
to believe that little game! He don't
want to see me; but you tell him that
Flora mother's is here and will stay
here till he comes to her.”
“I don't understand you,” I said.
“Dr. Ogilvie has been absent all
night; we are terribly anxious about
him. We fear that his horse has
thrown him, as it came back riderless
this morning. If you will go away
now and come later I may have some
tidings for you.”
There was a vague hope in my
mind that the woman might be a lun
atic; the best thing was to get her
quietly out of the house and warn the
servants on no account to re admit
her.
"I'm too old to be fooled,” she re
sponded with a stubborn shake of her
head. "I'll wait here for Dr. Ogilvie
till he shows up. I gave him 48 hours,
and the time's up; he was expecting
me this morning. Here 1 11 stay, and
you had better tell the servant to
bring me in some breakfast.”
"Very well," I said, “if you won’t go,
I can but leave you here.”
I went back into the hall, where
one of the maid servants was hover
ing restlessly about. I spoke to her
in a low tone:
“That woman insists upon remain
ing,” 1 said. "It is probable that she
is not in her right senses. Has she
ever been here before?”
"She came here two days ago," re
plied the girl, “and was shut up with
Dr. Ogilvie in the consulting room for
a long time. We all noticed how
changed he looked after that. He
seemed to turn old all of a sudden.”
“Well,” said I, “you had better
humor her and take her some break
fast. Pay no attention to whatever
she says, for I don’t think she is re
sponsible.” *
1 had scarcely finished speaking,
when a sound of heavy footsteps in
the street caused us both to start. I
rushed to the hall door and threw it
open. Several men, bearing a
stretcher on which lay a motionless
figure covered with a sheet, were as
cending the steps. They were ac
companied by Dr. Roper, who beck
oned them forward.
"Come this way,” he said, and fol
lowing his directions they carried
their burden into the large dining
room and laid it on the center table.
At a signal from the old physician.
the bearers retired, and he turned
to me.
“Come in here with me, Halifax,”
he said.
He pointed to a little conservatory
which opened out of the dining room,
and I followed him at once.
“We found him,” he began, slowly,
"several miles from home. The
mare's hoof-prints were visible in the
snow, and we had little difficulty in
tracing them to the spot on the bor
ders of a wood where the desed was
committed.”
“He killed himself, then?” I whis
pered.
“Yes. I found him myself, Halifax:
he was quite cold. The bottle that
had contained the poison he swal
lowed was tightly clutched in his
right hand. Poor Ogilvie!”
“Can you account for it?” I asked.
He took a letter out of his pocket
and thrust it into my hand.
"Read that,” he said in a voice that
shook with emotion, "and you will un
derstand all. I found it in his breast
pocket, addressed to me.”
Dr. Roper turned to leave the con
servatory and 1 opened the letter. It
ran as follows:
'My Dear Roper: When you re
ceive this letter I shall have died by
my own hand. Life has become intol
erable to me; 1 will tell you why.
Two days ago the storm broke which
has wrecked the lives of my poor
wife Letty and me. I often told you
that I had spent the early years of my
medical career in Australia. But I
never mentioned either to you or Let
ty that I was married when there. I
married a handsome girl who turned
out to be a virago, one of the most
heartless, wickedest women who ever
polluted God’s earth.
‘‘After two years of misery, my
wretched wife died suddenly while I
was engaged on business up the
country. 1 was given the certificate
of her death, and, relieved beyond
measure, returned to America, bought
a practice here, fell in love with my
sweet Letty and married her. We
have been husband and wife for near
ly six years, and no people could have
been happier than we were.
“Two days ago a woman called to
see me. To my horror I recognized
her as my first wife’s mother. She
told me that her daughter had never
died. She gave reasons, which I need
not enter into here, for the trick
which had been played upon me.
Since then, tidings of my prosperity
reached the wretched pair, and they
came to America determined to make
me acknowledge my real wife and re
instate her in the place occupied by
my beloved Letty.
“Of course I offered money, but all
in vain; my real wife must have her
rights or nothing. If I did not im
mediately reinstate her she would de
nounce me for bigamy. Finally I
asked for two days’ grace to decide
what steps to take. This was con
ceded to me.
“I resolved not to try further to
bribe the women, but by one desper
ate stroke to end it all. Roper, I re
solved to kill both myself and Letty.
Letty should never live to hear of the
disgrace which would break her
heart. She would go first, by easy
and painless steps, into the other
world, where I would quickly meet
her. This morning I began to carry
my plan into effect. I gave my dear
and only true wife a portion of a cer
tain drug which resembles morphia in
its effects, but leaves no smell and
might easily make those not ac
quainted with its peculiar power sup
pose the victim to be suffering from
embolism. I made the acquaintance
of this drug in Australia, and had a
small quantity with me. I do not
know its name, but it much used by
the Australian aborigines. Taken in
certain quantities it causes slow and
painless death.
l nave watched Letty during the
whole of this awful day; there is now
no chance of her recovery. I am go
ing out on the mare; I shall ride a
considerable distance, and then send
the horse home. I have a dose of the
same poison in my pocket. It will
kill me. Roper; I am a good riddance.
Farewell.”
I had scarcely finished reading this
miserable letter betore Dr. Roper
rushed wildly into the conservatory.
“For God's sake, Halifax, come at
once,” he gasped. -ThaR awful wom
an found her way into the room
where the body is. Her nerves gave
way completely at the sight, and she
confessed that the whole abominable
story is a lie; that her daughter, poor
Ogilvie's first wife, has really been
dead for years, and that she only in
vented her horrible story for black
mail purposes.”
"Then, then,” I said, with a sudden
shout I could not repress, "we’ll have
a try for it!”
"A try for what? Are you mad?”
“Why, Roper, don't you see?” I ex
claimed. “If this woman's story is
false, Oglivie has nothing to die for.
The drug he has taken is slow in its
effects, and he may only be in a state !
of stupor. We saved his wife—we’ll
have a try for his recovery, too.”
I ran from the room, anc! Roper fol
lowed me. We turned every one else
out of the dining room and locked the
door. I flung the cloth off the face of
the supposedly dead man and seizing
a looking-glass, held it to his lips.
"Thank God, there is still a
chance!" I exclaimed, turning to the
old doctor, and pointing to a faint
dimness on the polished surface of
the glass.
That is the story, for of course we
did save Ogilvie. We had a harder
fight than even that of the night be
fore. but in the end the grim King
of Terrors withdrew, and we, the
humble instruments who had brought
back life almost to the dead, fell on
our knees in thankfulness. And Ogil
vie's wife was never told the real
story of that night.
Spider ar. Agee Cure.
It. run* parts ol Kuglaiid the spider
». merly believed to be an elti
rn L( cure tor ague. Writing to an old
nuist- r ol "Notea and Queries." a
Soi ■ r « :.-bire vicar remarks: "One of
at, ;:o. irhiuners suffering from ague
ui . :v <-d to catch a large spider
» . i - t him up In a box. As he pines
a»:, i :» do -use is supposed to wear
. ut ” In the south of Ireland a
lar;-- :.«>:;se spider enveloped In trea
,’ reserve was used for the same
consi : -tt
HISTORY OF THE PANTOMIME
Was First Introduced to the English
Stage In 1702—Has Always
Been Popular.
Tlu* first pantomime Introduced to
tl.r English stage was "Tavern Bilk
er:and was by John Weaver. This
wa.i in the year 1702. It wns produced
•it Drury Lane. The great institutor
ot 'taatonmne In Kugland was, how
•-■ter, John Kith, who devised this
lorm of entertainment in 1717. His
first emphatic success was in 1724,
when he produced “The Necroman
cer; or. History of Dr. Faustus.” So
successful was Rich with his panto
mime that Garrick, Quinn and others
became exasperated. Rich lived to
see pantomime firmly established at
Drury Dune and Covent Garden. He
died in 1761.
Regarding the subjects of panto
mimes the most popular theme this
year is, we are informed, "Cinderella."
with "Babes in the Wood" second and
"Dick Whittington" third. If the Lon
don and suburban pantomimes are
taken alone Cinderella” will again be
iirst, while "Babes in the Wood" and
"Aladdin" tie for second place. In
London and the provinces “Cinderella"
has been chosen 14 times, "Babes in
the Wood" 12 times and “Dick Whit
tington” ten times.
Looking back over the last 1$
years we find that the most popular
subjects have been ‘'Cinderella,”
"Aladdin,” “Dick Whittington,” “Rob
inson Crusoe,” and “Babes In the
Wood.” in the order given.
Indolence.
"Wiggins is the laziest man 1 know
of.”
"Why doesn’t %e make some New
Year resolutions'.’"
"He does, annually. But In order to
save trouble, he merely takes his orig
inal set and puts ditto marks under
them.”—Washington Star.
Some Habits of the Fly.
Concerning his experienco while
studying the life and habits of the
house fly Henry Hill, the well known
lecturer, states: “1 wish I could ex
plain why a fly never walks down but
always up a clean window pane and
why on the other hand it will walk
down the slanting glass front of a
picture. It is also a inys'ery to me
why a fly always rests head downward
on a wall. These are habits of the
house fly which offer a field for in
teresting study.
/
‘ TME
©F^®
Wilbur D. Nesbit.
HITiKELMfDLTIK,
11 ^ ^mo.
My Uncle John he visits us.
An' ever' time I make a fuss
An' ma an' pa they scold me. why.
He just sits there an' winks his eye
An’ says: “You ought to come with me
To just the place you ought to be—
In Hinkelnjedunk, Ohio."
I My Uncle John he says that boys
j That live there hafto make a noise.
An' never hafto wash their face
Nor not make mud tracks through the
place.
; "Come there,” he says. “I wisht you
would—
! They punish boys for bein’ good
j In Hinkclmedunk, Ohio."
He says the stores must ever’ day
j Give all their candy all away,
i An' children there talk lots—they do
! An' folks waits till they get through!
My Uncle John says: “Anyway,
| I know that you would like to stay
In Hinkclmedunk, Ohio.”
He say—now what do you suppose?—
j That boys just hafto tear their clo'es.
An’ if they try to comb their hair
j Their parents scolds them, over there!
"An’ boys that don't muss up the yard
( Gets whipped most awful, awful hard
In Hinkelmedunk, Ohio.”
He says boys never hafto crawl
Upstairs to bed at 8 at all,
, Nor hafto sit real nice an' still
When comp'ny’s come—yes, an’ they will
Get whipped If they're on time for meal.-'
I “How fine,” he says, “a fellow feels
In Hinkelmedunk, Ohio."
V
4
But I can’t find it on the map.
An' so I climb up on his lap
An’ ast him tell me where it is.
Non he just smiled that smile o' his
An' say: “You take the road that go. <
I-'rom Wliatu-it’s-nama to Goodness
knows.
For Hinkelmedunk, Ohio.”
Righteous Wrath.
The congressman, having been qui
etly invited to come to the room ot
the malefactor of great wealth, prc
sents himself at the appointed hour.
“May I inquire, sir,” he says, “what
Is your object in seeking a contideu
tial conference with me?"
Ol u. C<->
Wk.Tpujt
I
‘‘Certainly. I wanted to talk ever
some pending legislation.”
“What? Do you wish to offer me a
bribe?"
“No. sir. No!”
“Sir, I am highly insulted,” declares
the legislator, rushing out.
It Worked.
“Yes,” says the lady with the coral
rings, “Mrs. Gliphers was determined
to reduce her flesh, and what do you
suppose she did? Two months ago
she got a rolling pin and every day
she rolled herself with it. Oh, she
was just as faithful as could be. You
know some women start in on a re
ducing system and get tired of it and
give it up after a week or so, but she
kept right at it and—”
“Did it reduce?”
“My dear, she wore the rolling pin
out before she could give it a fair
trial, really.”
Woman.
A woman’s an angel, the men folks de
clare
Until they consider her bargain-day hair.
Her faults and her foibles, her fickleness,
too:
For she's the delusion the men folks pur
sue.
Sometimes when they mark all she s»v>
and she does
They vow she's an angel—and wish that
she was!
That Depends.
A Philadelphia clergyman tells of
an incident in connection with his
first visit to a town in Pennsylvania,
where he expected to be called as
pastor.
While tramping along a dusty road
he was so fortunate as to encounter
a man in a wagon who gave him “a
lift.” During the conversation that
ensued between the two, the divine
chanced to ask:
‘•Do the folks hereabout enjoy re
ligion?”
“I don’t know exactly.” replied his
companion, “but I s’pc3s them that
has it enjoys it.”—Illustrated Sunday
Magazine.
New Use for Paper.
Paper is of different thickness and
pasteboards made of it have already
been shown, the latter even in sheets
three-quarters of an inch thick. It is
as hard as wood and can be easily
painted and polished. It has all the
good qualities, but none of the defects
of wood. The pasteboard can he used
lor door and window frames, architec
4