GAVE HER DADDY AWAY. Little One’s Innocent Remark That Left the Deacon Gasping. Every Sunday some one threw a button into the contribution box of the little church. The annoyed pastor confided to his wife that he suspected the button thrower to be stingy old Deacon G., who had so strongly op posed his “call” to the pastorate, but that he dare not accuse him of it for lack of evidence. At a church "sociable” that week some one suggested the playing of games. Deacon G. had just partaken of oyster soup at some one else's ex pense and felt warmed and expansive. “Why not play ‘Button, button— who’s got the button?’ he inquired of waiting children. “Oh, yes!” exclaimed his youngest daughter with enthusiasm. "And you lend us the button, papa!” Then she drew back, timorously. “Unless you want to save it for next Sunday’s con tribution," she added, considerately. LIVE AND LEARN. Farmer Meddergrass—Waal. by clover! I knew them Chinese lived on t'other side o' th' airth but hang me if I knew they had a through route! Sheer white goods, in fact, any fln« wash goods when new, owe much of their attractiveness to the way they are laundered, this being done in a manner to enhance their textile beau ty. Home laundering would be equal ly satisfactory if proper attention was given to starching, the first essential being good Starch, which has sufficient strength to stiffen, without thickening the goods. Try Defiance Starch and you will be pleasantly surprised at the improved appearance of your work. Was a Lucky Day for England. Admiral Nelson was the recipient oC favoritism in the matter of his ap pointment to the British naval serv ice. Nelson's father could not have af forded to send his son to Osborne. “But if he had been Nelson would have been rejected as physically un fit," says a writer. “Nelson was shayeled into the navy under a bit of jobbery and pushed on by backdoor influence.” Noted Woman Press Agent, Mrs. Charles Neave is the laiest English woman of birth and education to go into business. She has become a press agent, and it is said by her friends that some of the best singers at Covent Garden. London, are large ly indebted to her for their success this season. Mrs. Neave is the daugh ter of a man of title and the widow of an army officer. The extraordinary popularity of fine white goods this summer makes the choice of Starch a matter of great im portance. Defiance Starch, being free from all injurious chemicals, is the only one which is safe to use on fine fabrics. Its great strength as a stiffen er makes half the usual quantity c* Starch necessary, with the result of perfect finish, equal to that when the goods were new. Up to Him. “Do you think you can manage with my salary of J12 a week, darling?” he asked, after she had said yes. “I'll try. Jack,’ replied she. “But what will you do?"—Universalist Leader. Omaha Directory M. Spiesberger & Son Co. Wholesale Millinery The Best in the Wert OMAHA, NEB. TAFT’S DENTAL ROOMS 1517 Douglas St.. OMAHA. NEB. Reliable Dentistry at Moderate Prices RUBBER GOODS by maii at cut prices. Send for free catalogue* VYERS-DILLON DRUG CO . OMAHA. NEBR. RelianceLeaMelt ^ dealer, or LEWIS SUPPLY CO., OMAHA BILLIARD TABLES POOL TABLES LOWEST PRICES. EASY PAYMENTS. You cannot afiord to experiment with untried goods sold by commissi on agents. Catalogues free. The Brunswick-Balke-Collender Company 407-9 So. 10th St. Dug!. 2. OMAHA. NEB. t POSITIVELY CORE RUPTURE IN A FEW DAV8 I have a treatment for lhe cure of Rapture which 1* taf* and Is convenient to take, as no time Is lost. I am the Inventor of this system and the only physician who holds United States Patent trade-mark for a Rupture cure which has restored thousands to health in the past 20 years. All others are imitations. 1 have nothing for sale, as my specialty le the Curlrig Of Rupture, and if a person has doubts, just put the money in a bank and pay when satisfied. No other doctor will do this. When taking nay treatment pat ients must come to my office. References: U. S. Nat’i Bank, Omaha. Write or call, FRANTZ H. WRAY, M. D. 306 Bee Building, OMAHA AIR LINE ROUTE BETWEEN sttmpds- f-esms naiwwmcEOw PROPSLLERi OR "HLLICOPTPRO" Fact is stranger than fiction. A two million dollar airship is being built for travel between New York city and S:. Louis. Is the present year to see a realization of practical flight over long distances? Men with the money bt1 lieve so and have contracted with Louis Nixon, the ship builder, for a monster craft which is intended to sail on the air. not on the water. This original air liner will sail, ac cording to present plans, between New York and St. Louis. Because of th? frequency of travel between the two cities it is probable that the route will run by Chicago. By the air route th? time between the two largest cities of the country will be reduced to much less than the present brief time of th? limited trains of the two most promir ent railway thoroughfares. There will be a saving of time because the rout? will be more direct, all the meandei ings necessitated by rivers, lakes and mountains being eliminated in the un trammeled air. In addition to this it is predicted that the speed of the airship will b? much greater, ordinarily, than has yet been attained by steam or electric en gines. Railway officials claim that a 14 hour run between Chicago and New York is perfectly feasible. Their claim:; have been substantiated in actual run ning. Fancy, then, reducing this record by four or more hou-s! That is the claim set forth by the inventor and the capitalist backers and the builde:' of the leviathan which is going to plow the air. just as the wonderful, swift ocean liners push their way through the water. This prognostication is not an idle dream of a novelist. Actual work has already been started on an airship to have a carrying capacity of 1,000 pas sengers, and which, if the experiment proves successful, will some time dur ing the early summer be launched with imposing ceremonies and undertake its maiden trip from New York to Chica go and St. Louis. The material for this air-going ship is now being forged and collected in the shipyard of Lewis Nixon, on Stat en Island, N. Y. It is to cost roundly $2,000,000, and the capital has been furnished by a number of wealthy men who have faith in the future of aerial travel as a profitable invest ment. Among these men. located in various parts of the United States and else where, are Oscar B. Bergstrom, a New York banker; Arthur Lewis of the Standard Oil Company; James H. Rob erty, ex-comptroller of the state ol New York; Walter G. Allison, a Phila delphia capitalist; H. W. Denison of the Allis-Chalmers Company; George 755T P£mmro/f /upsprp A. Taylor, a banker; John Chisman and Clarence K. Bennett, capitalists, of New York; T. R. White, a real es tate owner and builder: George Ken nedy, a Boston capitalist; Arthur Scofield of New York; Frank Damron, president of the Bridgeport Realty and Trust Company, of Bridgeport, Ala.; George Howard of Washington. D. C.; J. H. Underwood, a civil engineer of Buenos Ayres, and J. Lamair. presi dent of the Lemair Construction Com pany. Thurlow Weed Barnes of New York is credited with the getting together of this gaiaxy of moneyed men who are willing to take a substantial risk in furtherance of commercializing air travel. The plans of the new vessel have been worked out through a num ber- of experimental years by Edward J. Pennington. As much as 15 years ago Pennington attracted a great deal of attention by his airship inventions. This new airship that Mr. Nixon has undertaken to build is the result of 17 years’ study on the part of Mr. Pen nington. the inventor. He is generous in acknowledging his indebtedness to Count Zeppelin, whose exploits with his dirigible balloons last year were one of the spectacular developments of aerial navigation in a wonder-working year. Pennington believes, however, that his own idea of discarding silken bags in favor of what he calls a “buoy ancy chamber" made of steel will, with his other improvements, render his craft immune from the dangers which are sure to beset the present day dirigible balloon. “The great advantage of our ship.” says Mr. Pennington, “is that we shall never need to bring her to the ground to renew her gas. Pure hydrogen gas as a lifting force will be' used in the buoyancy chamber, and this gas, prop erly confined, will last for years with out deteriorating, or need of renewal. “That is the real solution of the whole problem, and once our ship is 1 in the air she will float there, out of harm's way, until the wear on her ma chinery renders her Useless.’’ The plans for this wonderful air lin er contemplate a steel vessel 1,000 feet long over all. The cigar-shaped buoy ancy chamber will measure 700 feet from tip to tip and eight feet at its greatest diameter. The principle upon wnich the levia than of the air is operated is that upon which all the later dirigibles, in cluding Count Zeppelin's, are construct ed. This is the principle of the anni hilation of gravity. In other words, the ship is given a buoyancy just sufficient to counteract its weight. That is to say. Mr. Pen nington's airship, with its buoyancy chamber filled with hydrogen, will, for all its 1,000 feet of steel, weigh almost nothing. A child could lift it with one finger or toss it aloft like a rubber ball. The ship will be equiped with 11 •propellers, five on each side and a larger one. as shown in the picture, in front. The side propellers revolve on a horizontal plane when it is desired to raise or lower the craft, acting, in th,e parlance of aeronautics, as “heli copters.” When, however, the ship has reached a proper altitude and it is desired to drive her ahead, the “heli copters,” which work on swivel joints, are adjusted to the vertical plane and propel the ship or. her chosen course. Or, similarly, they may be reversed to drive her astern. Two or more or all of these propellers may be used at any time. Eight propellers will drive the ship at an average speed of 30 miles an hour; 11 propellers will send her through the air at a 40 mile clip. It is not necessary to use all the propellers at the same time when go ing with the wine, and the big craft can partly “coast” in these circum stances, just as at automobile or rail way locomotive does when descending a grade. The buoyancy chamber, as before stated, is to be constructed of steel, and will have many compartments to insure safety in case of puncture. Fishes in Dry Streams How ttie Government Saves Hundreds ! of Thousands Each Year. When brooks, streams, and ponds ! become dry, most fishes die. Some kinds, however, like eels and catfishes, are able to survive for considerable time by burrowing into the wet or moist bottom, which may be quite dry at the surface. This is particularly true of some tropical fishes found in | regions subject to drought, where it is a matter of common observation that a pond depression that has been baked by the sun's rays for days or weeks, will, immediately after a heavy rain fall, afford good fishing. The ability of certain tropical fishes to endure drought and to remain out of the water for a long time in the markets depends on the possession of an accessory gill on the unejer side of each gill cover, j by means of which oxygen may be taken directly from the atmosphere, i Failure to notice dead fish after the drying of brooks or ponds simply means that birds and four-footed beasts—often night prowlers—have been there first. One of the most im portant lines of work carried on by the fisheries branch of the govern ment. says St. Nicholas, is the rescue of food and game-fishes from the over flowed lands in the Mississippi valley. After the floods subside, shallow' pools are left that are wholly disconnected with the streams, and in these the fishes gradually j erish as the drying of the pools progresses. By sending men to seine these pools, the govern ment each year saves and returns to public water hundreds of thousands of valuable fishes. Siberia is dest ned to control the butter trade of all Europe. The value of the butter shipped from Omsk alone amounts to 4B.000.000 rubles ($22,145,000) annually. It is transport ed in refrigerator cars furnished by the railway company to large firms in Denmark and Germany, where it is repacked in tins, jars and firkins and distributed throughout Europe. With the World’s Great Humorists ■KMEansmBna Selections from the Ufritings of the Hest Kjnoton Makers of Mirth. ___.______ His Silliken By Judd Mortimer Lewis. “I have got to get me a Billiken.” said Jinx, as he stooped to kiss his wife good-bv before starting for his office last Monday morning. So far as Jinx' remark went- it landed properly, but as Mrs. Jinx at the moment of the aiming of the kiss took a sudden notion »o turn and as certain if it was possible to see her self Id the mantel mirror across the hall, the kiss drew a moist line across her starboard cheek, dodged beneath her ear, and exploded innocuously in her back hair. “And what in the world is a Billi ken?” queried she, turning in a light ning effort to catch the already un puckered pucker of Jinx’ lips. "You don’t mean to say that you don't know what a Billiken is? A Billiken is a sort of a good luck idol carved out of ivory or celltloid or soap or something—I never examined one closely—and it perches on your desk and grins perpetually with so contagious a grin that everyone near its perch grins in sympathy. It is an insurance against a fooi woman turn ing her head just as her husband is about to kiss her. If a Billiken had been perched on my desk yesterday when we went to visit ou: folks in the country I would not have been butted into the hog lot by the goat, chased beneath the barn by the old boar, nor would 1 have played a hole in the ground for a cotton-tail and drawn a polecat; and you would not have pur chased another merry widow last week when you already had a pillbox and a sun-kissed that you had scarce ly worn. I certainly need a Billiken if any man ever did! Clemens has one and his mother-in-law is as tame and gentle as a sucking dove; Tips A Medium-Sized Journey By Strickland W. Gil I i Ian. Once in Athens, Greece, whence come the hero stories and the men who sell dusty candy on the street corners, lived George F. Socrates, the champion heavy-weight philosopher of Parthenon county. When he came in to the grocery of the Miltiades Bros, and reached into the cracker-box, all the other hands were hastily with drawn. One evening when Soc returned home from his daily toil at the store and began to pare his stone-bruises on the front stoop, he said to his wife, Xanthippe: "Xan!” "Hush up, you old loafer." ‘Tve been looking into the future and figuring out how things are going “I’ve Been Looking Into the Future and Figuring Out How Things Are Going to Be Hereafter.” to be hereafter. In the language Ten nyson has not yet used: “X have dipped into the future far as human eyes could stand. Seen the folly of the world and other things to beat the band. “I have glimpsed a finish for old Aunt Grundy that is a fright. Of course, looking through the pages of future history, I have found myself an immortal—’’ “What’s her name?” asked Xanthip pe, reaching around for a stove lid. “I mean I have found myself to be an immortal. But I don't choose to be one. I don’t want to live forever in this ravine of snivels. There’ll be too much to try a spne man’s patience along about 1900 Ann! Domino. I see—” and here he forgot entirely his delicate task of sole-paring, and his eyes became clairvoyant. “I see di rectoire gowns and wireless telegraph and affinities; 1 see everybody dodg ing automobiles and occasionally a poor dodger that doesn’t make it; I see monkey dinners and thumb-print signatures; I see great fortunes won by some men because the others were too dense to see how to keep them from it; I see the autocratic ruler of an empire told by his popularly-elect ed parliament to keep still except un der proper surveillance, while the head of a certain republic dictates to hi3 popularly-elected law makers such laws as they are permitted—nay, com pelled!—to make, and tells his people whom they are to select as his succes sor in office: I see robust constitutions following the flag into cannibal islands, even as red liquor and millinery fol low the missionary into darkest Af rica and other places on the rural free delivery routes; I see childless women who are proud of it, carrying poodles and Teddybears with goggles on in strange vehicles that leave a wake of smell; I see people with enough mon ey to feed the people of a whole state for ten years, struggling and deceiv ing and crushing others to get more money, though they do not intend to feed more people with it; I see men of literary aspiration telling other folks how to acquire wealth and merit and wisdom, wniie some of those same writer men are themselves half-fed, erratic and personally worthless; I Some Pumpkins By Norman H. Crowell. The drummer placed his hand on his bald spot and caressed it reminis cently. “Florida and California may be all right for raising vegetables in a hur ry. but if you want to see crops get right up and hump themselves go to Kansas. Trains runnin' through Kan sas have big signs up in the cars warnin' passengers not to throw any thing off the car. Why? Hecause they’ve found it ain't safe. Cook on a diner threw off a hunk of bologna one hot day last June and next day the train went through a pack of a hundred and fifty-two mongrel dogs at the identical spot. “I was traveling through there last July and was standin’ on the rear platform with an old fellow from Paw paw Junction, Tennessee. When he thought nobody was looking the old fellow peeled off a big squash seed poultice from his shoulder blade and tossed it overboard. Just then the conductor came out and saw it. “Hi, there, what was that?” says the conductor. “Nothing but a squash seed poul tice,” says the old gent. “Great Scott!” yells the conductor. “A squash seed poultice! Don’t you know that is a penitentiary offence? The law says distinctly that any man, woman or child who throws, heaves, casts, hurls or otherwise dumps a squash seed poultice upon, into, under or about the right of way of any rail road in this state stands liable to con viction and sentence to five years in the pen. Did you know that, sir?” The old gent said he hadn’t thought to post up on Kansas law of late and couldn’t say positive. “That’s the law, sir,” said the con; “but we’ll say nothing this time— providing you lay low and sneak out of the state inside of three days.’ Well, next day I went back over the same route. They had a snowplow on the engine. “What’s that for? Had a bliizzard east?” says I. “Worse!” says the conductor. MOST DEADLY BACILLUS At a meeting of physicians in Ber? lin a practitioner in Chat city said that all fear of a cholera epidemic in the German metropolis was groundless, adding: “But we have much to fear from another source. A bacillus has recently been located here which pros trates those whom it attacks, increas es with alarming rapidity, enters and works havoc despite cleanliness and rational diet, spreads not only by con tact, but is communicated through the mail and by public press. No class Is exempt and no physician has devised a remedy. I refer to the fear bacillus. It embitters the lives of those whom it attacks, for it marks as poison the things that are most toothsome, it banishes cigars and beer from the homes of men to whom smoke and a drink are essential, and it converts the ordinary kitchen into a laboratory. Even medical students have been at tacked, and it is a sad spectacle to see these fellows drinking milk while they sing •Gaudeamus igitur.' In its viru lent form there is no disease so diffi cult to conquer.” Poor Papa! Rachel, who was four years old. was admiring her baby brother, who was three months old before his father re turned from a trip abroad. Looking up at her mother, she said: “Mam na, won t papa be sorry he isn't any rela tion to this baby 2” “Yes, some sapheaded idiot threw a squash seed poultice out on the track yesterday and now the tracks are under a three-foot layer of squash —Hubbards at that! We’ve got a hun dred dagoes up ahead trying to keep the line clear, bnt we'll run this plow a week to be safe!” The drummer sighed and a vrizened up chap with a goatee coughed slightly. “Things do grow amazin' in Kansas, * ■ ——— “The Tracks Are Under a Three-Foot Layer of Squash.” for a fact! I recollect how my wife’s first husband came blame nigh bein’ killed by a pumpkin one afternoon down there. Seems like he'd got in its way when it started growin’ good and it run him a quarter of a mile. He saw it was goin' to land him so he dodged an' th 'infernal thing went right through the side of a new barn and killed th' best heifer on the place! Yes—Kansas is no slouch when it comes to growin’ crops lively!” After a brief wait the drummer arose and went outside where lie was heard communing with himself se verely. (Copyright. IS09, by TT. G. Chapman.) has one anti he always guesses the market right and fills any kind of a poker hand he draws to.” ‘Gracious! Why don’t you buy you a Billiken?” “If 1 were to buy one it would spoil the charm. The person who wants a Billiken rents it for 100 years at the rate of one cent a year, payable in •‘The Kiss Drew a Moist Line Across Her Starboard Cheek.” advance. I shall rent one this noon when I go out to lunch." I As Jinx took a backward step back : ward toward the steps he landed on the cat. and. in an effort to be as easy i on pussy’s ribs as possible, got his feet pied and caromed off the steps ; into the rose-tree which he neatly ! split by striking it smartly in the ! crotch with his chin. Then as his glasses flew from his nose and he made a desperate grab for them, slipped on the dewy grass of the lawn and pushed his face viciously into the soft loam of the flower bed. As he marched into the house to re make his toilet Mrs. Jinx was tactful enough to refrain from all remarks. “1 must get a Billiken or take out some accident insurance!" gritted he when once more on his way. "With a Billiken on my desk this morning would have been an altogether differ ent affair.” As Jinx slipped into his office coat and approached his chair he stopped at the sight of an impish little figure perched by the side of the letter tray. ‘ Mister Dingbustit, where your wife trades, sent it to you with his com pliments Saturday after you went home,” explained the office boy. “And it has been on my desk since Saturday?" “Yes, sir.” Carefully Jinx lifted the Billiken t>e tween the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, tiptoed to the window and dropped it on a momentum gathering flight of 14 stories to the sidewalk below; then turning to retrace his steps he fell over the wastepaper bas ket, knocked a hundred-dollar type writer from its spider-legged desk to the floor. As the wreckage was being restored to order the elevator boy left his cage long enough to run across the hall and inform Jinx that a concealed E.ssassin had hurled a Billiken at his. Jinx’, partner as he was about to enter the building, and had hurt him so badly that he would probably be laid up for a week. Jinx looked at the gazelle-eyed stenographer for a moment, con sidered the youth and purity of the office boy, clinched and unclinched his hands, and said: “Oh. fudge!" (Copyright, 1909. by W. G. Chapman.) see spinsters and bachelors writing learned treatises on the care and dis cipline of children and those Bame childless ones changing their resi dences because a family with young progeny has moved into the same flat; I see fashions running their eccentric course—beauty one year depending on the narrowness of one’s headgear and the next upon getting a top-piece too large to go into a cab door; I see jests that we have swapped around Miltiades' grocery store for 20 years dressed up and making a big hit on Broadway and giving men reputations as humorists—Say, Xan, is there any thing to drink about the house?" “Nothing but some old hemlock, ex tra dry.” “Bring me the bottle. Thanks. Now get me that vial of prussic acid as a chaser. After seeing all those things in the future, I want to make a sure job of it. Ta. ta, Xan. I want you to marry again, so somebody will be sorry I’m dead.” (Copyright. 1909. by W. G. Chapman.) A Cure For Colds and Grip. There is inconvenience, suffering and danger in a cold, and the wonder is that people will take so few precautions against colds. One or two Lane s Pleasant Tablet* (be sure of the name i taken when the brat snuffly feeling appears, will stop the prog ress of a cold and save a great deal of un necessary suffering Druggists and dealers generally sell these tablet*, price 25 cents. If you cannot get them send to Orator F. Woodward, Le Roy, N. Y. Sample free. The Present Fashions. Stella—Isn't it all you can do to dance in your new gown? Belle—Yes, but. it’s too tight to Bit down in. Red. tVoak. Weary, Watery Eyes Relieved by Murine Eye Remedy. Om poundi d by Experienced Physicians. Mu rine Doesn't Smart: Soothes Ey- Pain Writ* Murine Eye Remedy Co.. Chicago, for illustrated Eve Book. At Druggists. It is said that necessity knows nc law, but if she is the mother of in vention she should acquaint hersell with the patent laws. If Vonr Feet Ache or I»um a 25r j*ackagp of Allen s Fi«rre everythin?1 el*# fkiled. Sent free with direction*. Exprt*** Prepa.d. Guaranteed by May Medical Laboratory, nnuer toe National Food and Drugs Act, Joe# 90th. 1906. Guar anty No. 1S971. Plea«e ?ive AGE and full adcreaa I)R- W. H. MAY, 54S Pearl Street, New York City. The Reason I Hake and Sell Hore Hen s $3.00 $3.50 Shoes Than Any Other Manufacturer is because I give the wearer the berefit of thr meet complete organization of trained experts and ■ Allied shoemakers In the coantry The selection of the leathirs for such part ox the shoe, tad every detail of the making In every department. Is looked after by the best shoemakers In the shoe industry. If 1 could show yon horn csrefnllv U L Dougla* shoes are made, you would then understand why they hoid thstr shape. At better, and wear longer than ary other maka. My Method of Tanning the Soles makes tnem Merw Flexible and Longer Wearing than any others. Shoes Top Evopv Member of’the Family, Men, Buyg,H'om(‘n,M Uses and C hildrem* For sale bv shoe dealers everywhere, rflimnil I None Rename without W. L, IVurUis UHU IIUIl i name and price stamped on N't tom. Fast Color Eyelets Used Exclusively. Catalog mailed frmt W. L. DOUGLAS? 1*7 Spark Su Brcckfoa, Maas.