loop City Northwestern
J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher
LOUP CITY, - . NEBRASKA
Hard Times Force Millennium.
The panic in October, 1907, caused
immediately a very heavy fall in the
traffic and gross earnings of the rail
roads of the United States. Many lines
were reduced over night, as it were,
from prosperity to the danger of bank
ruptcy. In this emergency the man
agements turned to the employes for
help. The employes, out of a sense of
loyalty, as well as for their own pro
tection, were glad to give it. The story
of the way vice-presidents, general
managers and superintendents, con
ductors, enginemen and engine wipers
labored shoulder to shoulder during
the past year to keep railroad ex
penses below railroad earnings is an
interesting and picturesque chapter in
the history of American railroad trans
portation, declares Technical World
Magazine. During prosperity bicker
ing between managements and em
ployes was chronic. Adversity quickly
made them see that their interests
were mutual and interdependent.
It is said of Harry Barnato, the
South African “diamond king" who
died in London a few days ago, that he
never “grew up" to his wealth, his ex
penditures being a curious mingling of
extravagance and penuriousness. The
same was true, it is related, of his
brother, Barney Barnato, who died
some time ago. As an example of
Harry's peculiarity it is related that
he once kept a $5,000 automobile idle
for months because he could not find
a chauffeur for less than 30 shillings
a week. He dressed handsomely, but
fought his tailor in the courts for
months over 36 cents. He allowed his
ten-dollar-a-week clerks to “stand him
for drinks" without any return. This
characteristic is probably accounted
for by the fact that the brothers were
very poor in their youth and had to
count their pennies. The habit of
thought calling for careful expenditure
in small things became so fixed that it
never left them.
The officials of the department of
agriculture at Washington are giving
much attention to the matter of soil
fertility in the United States. The re
sult of the investigation is interesting
as serving to show that the farmers’
chances are not lessened by any de
crease in such fertility. Of the farming
lands of the country, placed at 838,591,
774 acres, it is stated that the yield of
cereals has increased, and the conclu
sion reached is that soil resources are
practically inexhaustible. Whatever
lack exists in some respects may be
supplied through the use of fertilizers,
of which there is an abundance. This,
taken in connection with the improved
methods of farming coming into use so
rapidly, is assurance of indefinite pros
perity for agriculture.
Mr. Cortelyou is perhaps right in
thinking the disbursements of govern
ment money should be passed on by a
competent general head before they go
to congress to be voted on, just as
would be done in any well-managed
business house before funds were paid
out, but what reason has he to think
that a joint committee of revision
would be any more free from pressure
than the present appropriat.ons com
mittees? What would seem to be
needed is a finance minister or a com
mittee made up of men skilled in finan
cial affairs. But, asks the Indianapolis
Star, would congress ever vote to
have its chance for getting appropria
tions hindered in this way?
Apropos of the “centenary habit," it
has recently been suggested that in
stead of celebrating the year of a
man’s birth or death, we commemorate
the date of his great achievement—as.
in the case of Tennyson, that of the
publication of “In Memoriam." Of
course the difficulty in the way is that
people seldom agree on the achieve
ment; and generally it is safer to com
memorate events that took in many
men. Nobody has ever questioned, for
example, that it is worth while to cele
brate the Fourth of July.
Lucas Jacobsz, known to the world
as Lucas Van Leyden, painter and en
graver, when he had barely reached
his ninth year, made some engravings
after his own designs; at 12 painted
his well-known “St. Hubert,” and at 14
gave out an engraving representing
the killing of the monk Sergius by Ma
homet. At 39 he was dead with a re
markable record of achievement be
hind him, a life unfortunately wherein
the promise of his youth was by no
means fulfilled.
The member of the German reich
stag who declared that one of the
high officials of the government had
received his appointment at the hands
of the emperor because he—the ap
pointee—was a good pig raiser, will
probably not be perverse enough to
deny that a good pig raiser is all
right in his place.
One Gotham hotel shelters $10,000
worth of pet dogs. The guests need
not go outside for a plentiful infusion
of bark and whine in their systems.
I'ncle Sam isn't worrying about a
little thing like a deficit. His credit is
still good and there are thousands of
dealers owning merchandise, gold
bricks and other articles who would
fall over themselves to sell bills of
goods to him on time.
With some reluctance Miss Ethel
Roosevelt is preparing to enter soci
ety. She dislikes the idea of giving up
her pony and dog. Is it possible that
she doesn't know she can take her dog
with her?
PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT
TAFT'S SECRETARY OF STATE
Philander C. Knox, United States senator
from Pennsylvania, and attorney general in the
cabinets of President McKinley and President
Roosevelt, has accepted the post of secretary of
state in Taft's cabinet tendered him by the
president-elect.
Senator Knox became famous as a public
man several years ago. As attorney general he
conducted the initiation of some of President
Roosevelt’s most noteworthy suits against the
trusts, and when it became time for him to leave
the Roosevelt cabinet as a result of a call to the
United States senate by the state of Pennsylva
nia when it lost Matthew S. Quay, his work in
the department of justice had acquired an im
portance and distinction that classed its fruit
among the greatest legal strokes this govern
ment ever lias put forth. Senator Knox began his cabinet career under
President McKinley, shortly before the latter was assassinated, having been
drafted to fill the place of John William Griggs of New Jersey, resigned.
With the accession of President Roosevelt to the White House he was chosen
to continue in the cabinet, his appointment being confirmed by the senate
December 16. 1901. He resigned the attorney-generalship June 30, 1904, to
accept his Pennsylvania senatorskip appointment, which was tendered by
Gov. Pennypacker. He took his seat in the senate December 6, 1904, and
is at present serving a term which expires in March, 1911.
Philander Chase Knox’ was born at Brownsville, Pa., May 6. 1S53. He
graduated from Mount Union college, Ohio, in 1872, and subsequently took
the degree of LL. D. at the University of Pennsylvania in 1905 and at Yale
in 1907. His career at the bar began in 1875. He became assistant United
States district attorney for the western district of Pennsylvania in 1S76 and
held it for a year. He then entered the practice of law, in which he was
engaged constantly until his selection as attorney general by President
McKinley.
Shortly after President Roosevelt commenced his term at the White
House the department of justice portfolio sprang into surpeme importance
through the announced policy of the executive of invoking some apparently
dead letter laws relating to illegal combinations of industrial concerns for
the suppression of competition and in restraint of trade. To Attorney Gen
eral Knox fell the task of preparing suits against some of the more flagrant
trusts and mergers of the country.
NEW MISSOURI SENATOR
John C. McKinley is going to be the next
United States senator from Missouri. To the av
erage reader of the newspapers during the re
cent campaign this announcement will be some
thing of a surprise. That is because none of the
able editors or political dopesters ever figured
McKinley in the running at any stage. The
fight seemed to be all between Gov. Joseph W.
Folk and Senator W. J. (“Gumshoe") Stone.
The latter was running for re-election and the
former for the toga. Both are Democrats, and
as nobody thought of the possibility that a Re
publican legislature might be elected, it seemed
as if the Democratic vote in the primaries would
settle the affair.
In the meantime, Mr. McKinley, a Republi
can. was drawing a modest salary as lieutenant
governor of Missouri. It will be remembered that when Gov. Folk was elect
ed four years ago, after a bitter party fight, the shake-down carried the whole
Republican state ticket into power except the nominee for governor. The
anti-Folk Democrats had started a.fight on their own party candidate which
elected half a dozen G. O. P. state officials, including Herbert S. Hadley as
attorney general. This boomerang movement went farther and gave Hadley
a chance to make himself governor of Missouri.
McKinley wrent out after his party nomination for the senate last fall,
and landed it easily. It looked like an honorary distinction, but it wasn’t.
For the final casting up of the returns shows a Republican majority in the
legislature on joint ballot, and that means the election of McKinley over
both Folk and Stone.
REAR-ADMIRAL EMORY RETIRED
Rear Admiral William Hemsley Emory, U.
S. N., who was retired the other day on account
of the age limit, began his long and honorable
naval career when he entered the Naval acade
my in 1862, and ended it when as "admiral ot
the blue" he lowered his flag last November at
Hongkong as commander of the second squad
ron of the Atlantic battleship fleet and left his
flagship, the Louisiana, to return home.
In these 46 years Rear Admiral Emory had
11 commands, nine of separate vessels, the first
being the Palos, when he was 26 years old; one
a division of four battleships in the Atlantic fleet
in 1906, and the last a squadron of eight, which
he has just left.
Rear Admiral Emory was born in Washing
ton, D. C., December 17, 1846. His first dutv
after graduation, in 1866, was aboard the Savannah, the Iroquois and the
Naumee. on the Asiatic station. Work in the observatory in Washington fol
lowed until, in 1871, when he sailed on the Relief, hearing stores for famine
sufferers in France. Then came the command of the Palos and more service
in the far east on the Colorado and the flagship Lackawanna.
Duty at the Naval academy for two years preceded his appointment as
flag lieutenant on Admiral Howell’s flagship, the Trenton, on the European
station, and as executive officer on the Wyoming, which service lasted until
1880. Then came his attachment to the staff of President Arthur at the
Yorktown celebration and the staff of Admiral Porter until 1881, when he
was selected to command the Bear on the Greely relief expedition.
During the Spanish war Commander Emory commanded the Yosemite,
manned by the Maryland Naval Reserves. Alone he maintained the blockade
off Porto Rico, being attacked by five Spanish vessels, of which the Yosemite
destroyed one, the Antonio Lopez.
In his arctic work Rear Admiral Emory rescued many sealers, raised the
bark Jane Gray and towed her to San Francisco, for which he received the
thanks of the chamber of commerce. In Manchuria he performed good service
in protecting various missions from attacks by Chinese mobs. For this work
the,emperor of Japan sought to decorate him.
RICHER THAN ROCKEFELLER
Thomas Barlow Walker of Minneapolis, is
the second man to be discovered who is credit
ed with being really richer than John D. Rocke
feller. But whereas John D.'s wealth is in cash
and stocks that return a handsome dividend in
cash every three months, the Walker millions
are represented by enormous timber tracts.
In his own name, this plain, quiet Minne
apolitan holds 750,000 acres of the finest sugar
pint! and yellow pine on the upper Sierra Neva
da mountains in northern California, while his
holdings in his own state of Minnesota make up
wards of a million acres. And still he objects
to being referred to as “the timber king." His
timber riches are even more valuable than those
of Frederick Weyerhauser, although the latter
has been made famous as the man who is richer
than the Standard Oil magnate. Walker began life at Xenia, O., 68 years
ago, and made his way upward through the preliminary course that included
berry picking, selling newspapers, clerking, working as traveling salesman,
teaching school, surveying and finally lumbering. He started the latter with
out either money or influential friends, but he succeeded in landing a contract
to furnish ties for a railroad and that opened the way. He was helped early
in his career by James J. Hill, then a Minneapolis wharf clerk. Nqw that he
has made his pile, he spends most of his time in picture and pottery collecting,
while his sons look after the business.
Scared.
"Don’t worry about John, mother.”
"Well, Eph, I don’t suppose I
should; but when one letter says his
condition is so good and the next says
that he'll have to get rid of his condi
tion before the faculty will let. him
play football I’m awful afraid that
lie'll make himself sick and weak.”—
Puck.
Information Wanted.
Did any man ever win a girl by
threatening if she refused him to quit
trying to amount to anything in the
world?
The Price of It.
“Politeness costs nothing," said tho
man of ready-made wisdom.
“Then I reckon,” answered Mr. Cum
rox, "that you never had any experi
ence with those cafe waiters who regu
late their politeness by the size of the
tip.”
Just the Thing.
“My wife is a paragon."
“Your enthusiasm is laudable."
“And Ey enthusiasm, sir, is just. My
wife never talks to me about the fine
men sLv might have married.”
BRAKE OIL. WELL MONUMENT
There is nothing found in fiction to
equal the wonderful story ot the mar
velous development of the petroleum
industry in this country. Perhaps the
nearest one might come to it would
be found in Scheherzade’s tale of
Aladdin's lamp, the magic power that
produced wealth and luxury beyond
computation. The lamp of Aladdin
was no more marvelous than that
which burns "Standard, water white,
150 degrees test.”
It is not yet a half century since
this industry began. To be accurate,
it will be 50 years on August 19, 1909,
since Col. Edwin A. F. Drake com
pleted that famous first oil weii near
the banks of Oil creek, a short dis
tance below the present city of Titus
ville. The 49 years since that event
have been of the busiest in oil devel
opment. The history of the industry
is an aggregation of romances unpar
alleled; it is one great romance of
vital and intense interest.
"Progressive Pennsylvania" has been
accused of a lack of civic pride. Its
monuments are few. though its notable
achievements have been many and
its great men legion. Oildom promises
a better record. A magnificent monu
ment to Col. E. A. F. Drake stands in
Wood lawn cemetery. Titusville.
Now, a beautiful monument, com
memorating the foundation of the in
dustry, is planned by Canadota chap
ter, Daughters of the American Revo
lution, to be erected at the site of the
Drake well. It is desired to have this
monument unveiled on the fiftieth an
niversary of the discovery that gave
to the world a new industry—an in
dustry that has done much—or more
—to advance civilization as the appli
cation of steam. The design of this
monument is shown in our illustra
tion and it is to be provided by the
voluntary contributions of the grate
ful “sons and daughters of the oil
country.”
The crowning feature of the monu
ment is to be a flaming torch, illumin
ating the globe. What a wealth of
suggestion! It tells the story of how
the cheap mineral oil from the earth
carried the light of intelligence into
the dark corners of earth! Since
Drake's discovery the obscure Lin
colns of the world have not been com
pelled to read by the light of blazing
pine knots on the hearth; our Frank
lins have not been forced to study
philosophy by the feeble flicker of
sputtering tallow candles.
Rumination, however, is not the
whole story of this industry. From
crude oil more than 300 porducts are
extracted. The parafine wax, familiar
to every household, the equally uni
versal vaseline, the gasoline that has
introduced a new- era of power; the
lubricants that make the machinery
run smoothly; the naphtha that en
riches to brilliancy, all manufactured
gas. Brilliant color dyes, photographic
developments, many medical drugs,
come from the compounded fluid call
ed petroleum.
Natural gas, the perfect fuel, its
supply now an industry in itself, is but
a branch of the new world opened by
Drake's discovery; a world of effort
and wealth developed by other geni
uses, who followed after. This monu
ment will pay tribute to every one of
them, because it will be dedicated to
the vast and marvelous mining and
manufacturing industries of which the
Drake well was the foundation. It will
be a monument to the race of men
who have solved more gigantic prob
lems and met more emergencies in 50
years than were ever given In the
same space of time to any other race
of men to solve.
In this short time the men of "oil
dom” have discovered a new product,
dissolved It into its constituent ele
ments, devised means for storage, cre
ated vast systems of transportation,
delivered the product to the uttermost
ends of the earth, devised new ma
chinery, conquered physical obstacles
and read the book of the rocky strata
as no other men have done.
From that little beginning of Col.
Drake on Oil creek, a small hole of
150 feet deep, and a few barrels of
greasy fluid, has grown a world-wide
industry. It employs a million men;
walking beams creak in every clime;
oil flows from the Gulf of Mexico to
the Caspian and back again; the
driller is at work in the cradle of the
Aryan race, in Japan, in the haunt of
the wild man of Borneo. This indus
try has added billions of dollars of
new, clean wealth to the world's store
in this marvelous half century—within
the life span of men whose hearts are
yet young.
It well deserves a monument and
one built by the men who have helped
to create the industry—the men who
have rubbed the wonderful lamp and
found gold in their hands. This duty
should not be left to another genera
tion. Already there are thousands en
listed in this army of modern grease
who never saw the site on which the
old Drake well was drilled with so
much pains and patience. Annually
hundreds of travelers pass the magic
spot and have naught to attract their
glance from the car window. But next
year they may see the tall shaft and
the torch that, hand in hand with Lib
erty, has lighted the world, literally.
The following description is given of
the design of the Petroleum Me
morial:
"The monument is in the form of a
monolithic Doric shaft bearing aloft
a bronze lantern in the form of a
globe. The shaft rests upon a single
block of stone, upon the four faces
of which are bas-reliefs symbolical of
the departments of human activity
which have been most affected by the
discovery of oil—heat, light, power and
locomotion. The base rests upon a
stylobate of three high steps. The
stylobate is in the center of a paved
area surrounded by a parapet having
at the four corners salient, masses,
upon the outer surface of which are
to he cut inscriptions telling of the
history of the discovery of oil by Col.
Drake and of the evolution of the in
dustry. The whole monument is to be
raised upon a sodded plateau and is to
be approached on all four sides by
flights of 13 steps.
The dimensions of the monument
are as follows: Plateau, 94 feet
square; platform at parapet line, 52
feet square; diameter of shaft, 5 feet
6 inches; pedestal, S feet square;
stylobate, 20 feet square; height of
plateau, 8 feet; height of monument,
53 feet; total height of monument and
plateau, 61 feet.
The location of the old Drake well
is on a sightly spot near the line of
the Pennsylvania railroad, so that the
monument when completed can be
viewed by all travelers between Pitts
burg and Buffalo.
HIS LIFE A LUCKY ONE.
Youngster at Least Had the Great
Virtue of Cheerfulness.
The following is a genuine essay by
a ten-year-old boy:
"My life has been a very lucky one.
When I was three years old I fell
downstairs and cut niv head. When I
was five years old I was looking at
some hens and a dog bit my leg. When
I was eight I went with my brother in
the trap and the horse fell and threw
us out of the trap; tny brother lit on
his feet and I lit on the horse's back.
Last year X was playing, and I ran into
a surrey and cut my eyebrow, and it
has left a mark. One day I went into
the slaughter house and a big sheep
ran after me and knocked me down.
I have had a happy life.”
This cheerful acceptance of what
are usually regarded as the ills of life
reminds the writer of an old school
fellow who took part in the fight at
Elandslaagte at the beginning of the
South African war. After the engage
ment he was taken to the hospital at
Pietermaritzburg. As soon as he was
able he wrote home and sent his peo
ple the tunic he had worn in the bat
tle.
"You will see,” he wrote, “that there
are 11 bullet holes in it, but I was
awfully lucky, only six of them hit
me.”
Sexes in Antagonism.
Woman suffrage has been carried to
an extreme in Buenos Ayres. An Ital
ian woman describes the situation in
the Argentine city: “A sort of recip
rocal fear seems to raise an insur
mountable barrier between the men
and women. Whether at home, in the
street, at banquets and public prom
enades, in the theaters or schools, the
two sexes, as if by a tacit understand
ing, keep each other at a respectful
distance. What most strikes the for
eigner who walks in Buenos Ayres,
whether he traverse the narrow street
where the traffic of foot passengers is
more crowded than in either London
or Paris, or saunter through the broad
avenues where tram cars, carriages,
automobiles pass and repass each
other, is the absence of woman. . . .
She acts, not as an associate of man,
but as a rival, and in the same house
we find an antagonism existing be
tween husband and wife, mother and
son.” The social reformers of Argen
tina are beginning to think that wom
en are being too highly educated. They
neglect their children and household
duties.
Our "Connie’s” Commendable Charity.
A lady who was at the sale for the
benefit of the homes for wives of pris
oners, at Sunderland house, London,
writes this of the duchess of Marl
borough's interest in the admirably
helpful scheme which she started and
supports herself: "The duchess, whom
I was most anxious to see, is far more
charming than any portrait that has
been made of her. She is graceful and
beautiful, and as she came 'forward,
when my name was announced, and
shook hands as if we had been old
friends. I cannot but think how proud
Americans should be of her and the
work she is now doing. Her mother
in-law, Lady Blandford, who assisted
at the sale, seems to be devoted to the
duchess and approves of all her philan
thropic undertakings for the poor of
London, and in regard to this sale of
work of prisoners' wives, especially."
German Medical Students.
No fewer than 8,282 medical stu
dents attend lectures at the univer
sities of Germany this winter.
THE TUBERCULOSIS CAMPAIGN.
Remarkable Progress is Shown as the
New Year Opens Up.
New York. January 1, 1909.—With
the opening of the new year, the cam
paign against tuberculosis in the
United States exhibits the most re
markable progress that any movement
for social betterment has ever shown
in this country. During the past year,
the amount of activity and the number
of people who have been reached by
this activity has been far in excess of
similar work that has been carried on
during the four years previous.
Measured bv dollars, the campagn
against tuberculosis in the United
States during the year 1908. has cost
well over a million. Measured in the
number of workers, the campaign has
enlisted hundreds of thousands in its
ranks. Measured by the number of
institutions and organizations that
have been established during the year
1908, more work of this sort has been
accomplished than during the entire
period before January 1 of the year
just closing. For instance, before Jan
uary 1 1905, there were only 19 dis
pensaries in the United States pro vid
ing special treatment for tuberculous
cases. Up to the year 1908, this num
ber had increased slightly ober 100.
During the year 1908 alone, over 100
dispensaries providing special treat
ment for tuberculous patients have
been opened. The number of tubercu
losis sanatoria and hospitals opened
in the year 1908 is more than 80, a
figure which is four times that of the
amount of progress shown in this lino
in any other year before 1908. The
number of associations having for
their object the study or prevention of
ecns'mption, established during the
year 1908, totals up to 12'», which
figure again is more than the entire
number which had previously been es
tablished in the United States.
tsut not onlv m the number of insti
tutions but also in the variety of peo
ple interested and in the increase in
workers, can the progress of the anti
tuberculosis campaign be measured.
Never before in the history of Vie
United States have so many move
ments co-operated and allied to fight
the common foe. the white plague.
Never in any single year have so
many different organizations and so
many different ranks of people been
stirred to activity in a movement ror
the betterment of the condition of
man, as during the year 1908. For in
stance. during the past year from one
end of the country to the other, the
labor unions and working men have
been startled to a jealizatiju of the
fact that consumption is a disease
which affects them, and they have
been arming from east to west for the
fight against th's common foe. Hand
in hand, the movement of the labor
unions has been the stimulus given to
the clergyman and the churches
throughout the country. Never before
have so many sermons on tuberculosis
been preached from the pulpits of the
various churches of the country. Tho
schools, too, have been aroused both
through special institutions for the i
treatment of tuberculosis children and
by means of special instruction to the
children in the regular grades n the
schools. Hundreds of children have
been instructed on the dangers of tu
berculosis. State Legislatures, govern
ment officials, business concerns, fac
tory owners, social workers, men and
women of all sorts and classes have
during this past year been aroused to
renewed interest in the campaign
against consumption.
•Of the influences whicn have con
tributed to produce this result, prob
ably the most weighty has been the
International Congress on Tuberculo
sis which was held in Washington dur
ing the latter part of September and
the first part of October, attracting, as
it did. the attention of men and wo
men in every State in the Union. Rep
resentatives were present from almost
every section of the country and the
benefit derived from this inspiring
gathering has doubtless given the
greatest impetus to activity in the
fight against consumption that this
country has ever experienced. The
National Association for the Study and
Prevention of Tuberculosis by means
of its constant propaganda and its two
traveling exhibits, has also helped to
contribute to the success of the cam
paign. Particularly is this so in re
gard to the work being carried on in
the South. The Red Cross Stamp
Campaign, with its 25,000,000 stamps,
has been one of the greatest mediums
of education on tuberculosis as well as
a means of raising money that has
ever been used in this country.
The managers of the campaign
against tuberculosis are realizing that
they have a hard fight ahead of
them, and every means that will bring
home to the ignorant the gospel of
health is being employed. It is safe
to predict that with the present rate
of increase in activity against tuber
culosis maintained, the white plague
wll be ranked in a class with some of
the least dangerous of the Infectious
diseases within less than fifty years.
Morgan Helps the Stricken.
Xew York—J. P. Morgan has made
a contribution of $10,000 for the
Italian quake sufferers.
Greetings to the President.
Washington — President Roosevelt
and over 6.000 people, representing
every land and every stale and ter
ritory in the union on Friday, ex
changed happy Xew Year greetings at
at White House. For three and a
half hours the president stood re
ceiving his guesrts and when the recep
tion was ended last year’s record of
attendance had been broken by over
700. Many men and women distin
guished in official and social life of
Washington were present. This an
nual function was very brilliant.
Fire at Cebu. P. I.
Cebu, Island of Cebu. P. I.—A major
portion of the Chinese quarter of this
city has been wiped out by fire. Part
of the foreign business district has
also been destroyed. Loss, $250,000.
Oregon Awarded $200,000.
Washington, D. C.—The court of
claims has announced its findings in
the case of the slate of Oregon against
the United States a.id awards $200,000
to the state for moneys expended by it
during the civil war.
visnswiiis
*U/mi,£BY
Fishing for Suckers.
A newspaper man of my acquaint
wouldnow be among the leisure iar
the recent elect inti
couhl have hi,.I,
deferred a few- '
weeks and the
white heat of in
terest been main
tained. As it was,
he did very well,
clearing u
enough to buy a
new overcoat, a
necktie with r,,.
man stripes, and
one of thos ■ new
fangled ink pen
tils that work
when you sw ear
at them — some
times. And t.'.i
is the way he did
it:
Time—Tfi. noon
hour.
, Place—The edge
of an excited
bunch of politi
cians, with m>
friend at half
mast, awaiting t„.
opportunity
Just as the ar
gument is hot
enough for th.
triphammer, th.
newspaper ra a n
butts its. Piung.
ing excitedly into
the charms eir
cle, he waves his arras and, in . .' id
and determined voice, cries irr
"Say, you think you know > i mi
about how this election is com be of!
I'll tell you what 1*11 do. I'll bet you
$1 that Bryan carries tw ■ tw
states, and—”
Here he pauses for breath.
"And, just to show you thu- I'm
right and from Missouri, I'll be’ \ou
$2 that he carries half the rest!
Then he pirouettes on his heel and
with a sneer on his face, prepare t.
edge off. At this juncture th> m t
excited of the crowd yells:
"Here, you! Don't sneak awa; ' 1'
call that bluff; put up your mine.
Then the newspaper man digs u >v. .
and produces his roll of four one-do',
lar bills wrapped around a green bi.
ter. rips off three of them and de
mands that the stakes be left with
the manager of the restaurant. Tin
manager takes the money and nsy
friend escapes through a side door
just in time to miss getting a bar
sandwich in the ear. The sucker ha
tumbled !
"Here, come on back. It's on m>
What’ll you have, boys?" To the mu:
ager—"Give him his money; he wins
Do you get it? Well, he loses tin
first bet, of course, hut he wins tiie
second and comes away with $1 b
the good. Bryan did not carry twen
ty-two states, but he did carry hai
the rest and that's where the "in
comes in.
GOG
By the Way. - .
“Good-by to the simple life until
spring,” says one editor. Why until
spring? Is your snowshovel broken,
brother?
☆ tJr ☆
A dollar In the city goes about (alt
a block. In the country will take
four folks to the Thanksgiving dinner
in the church dining room.
☆ -fr
“The late hard times,” says a news
paper, “took the ginger out of tfc
strenuous life." Oh. I don’t know Th
hard times were a kind of tabasc
sauce that, kept most of us pretty wed
gingered up, so to speak.
*-7
A small boy describes silence a1
what you don't hear when you listen.
It is also what is broken at night
when your husband falls over the
sharp end of a rocking chair in the
dark. That is, it is one of the tbing
that is broken.
☆ ☆ ☆
A Chicago young man swore on the
witness stand that he bought a hit
three sizes too large and wore a thick
pad on the inside. When he came in
he slipped the pad into his overcoat
pocket. With the pad out, his room
mate could not wear his hat.
o o c
Siissorettcs.
Someone knocked a glass from the win
dow of the Prescott (Arizona) Courier of
fice, whereat the publisher, moralizing,
admits he prefers to have the ligi s
knocked out of the door rather than out
of the editor.
Jaeksboro (T'-x.i News.—The Graha 1
News man says lie eould not find the ed
itor of the Jaeksboro News at the p;- -
ale. He probably noticed a tall band
some young man wearing a magnificent
smile, who strutted around the ground
with the prettiest girl there. That vt m
as.
Day after day and night after nig: t,
the newspaper man goes on with his hab
it of work; while his subscribers a-e
resting from the noon heat, he is at
work; while the town loafer sits on the
porch and spins his yarn, he is at work,
and when the town is wrapped in slum
her, the light ran be seen burning
through the window and you know he is
at work.
Many Look Without Seeing.
Many meet the lovely unprepared,
and look without seeing. The heart
must be in the eyes to catch a fas
cination and one should see that his
heart is free when it approaches the
good-—Austin liierbower.
Force of 'Habit.
An Atchison man married a school
teacher, and he says that for three
years whenever the school-bells would
ring she would act up like the horses
at the fire department when the fire
whistle blows—Atchison Globs.
