SQUIRREL ANGRY AND PROFANE. Expressed Himself Strongly as to Character of His Despoiler. When irritated a red squirrel can come the nearest to being profane of any animal I ever saw. One day when still-hunting I happened to stop under a large beech. Soon the burrs began to drop, and, wishing to rest, I began shelling and eating the beech nuts. I had been doing this for some time, when the supply ceased and the squir rel came down to look after his nuts. On seeing me where he expected to find the nuts, he flew into the great est fit of passion I ever saw any ani mal indulge in. He was so enraged that he lost all sense of fear and stood head down on the tree within arm’s length of me, calling me all the vile names the squirrel vocabulary is capable of. It was perfectly evident that he was using language which would not look well in print. I tried to reason with him, told him that there were nuts enough for both, that he was the spryest and could get more; but it was no use. I had taken his nuts, and he abused me so that I was obliged to leave him, still using language strong enough to walk on.— ; Manly Hardy, in Forest and Stream. i INTOLERABLE ITCHING. Fearful Eczema All Over Baby’s Face —Professional Treatment Failed. A Perfect Cure by Cuticura. “When my little girl was six months old I noticed small red spots on her right cheek. They grew so large that I sent for the doctor but. instead of helping the eruption, his ointment seemed to make it worse. Then I went to a second doctor who said it was eczema. He also gave me an oint ment which did not help either. The ' disease spread all over the face and j the eyes began to swell. The itching grew intolerable and It was a terrible sight to see. I consulted doctors for months, but they were unable to cure ,the baby. I paid out from J20 to $30 without relief. One evening I began to use the Cuticura Remedies. The next morning the baby’s face was all white instead of red. I continued until the eczema entirely disappeared. Mrs. P. E. Gumbin. Sheldon, la, July 13,’08.” Potter Drug & Cbem. Corp., Sole Props., Boston. HORRORS! “What’s the trouble, Zambo?” “I thought it was missionaries, but it’s a load of Altruists.” Wise Kid. My seven-year-old niece—writes a correspondent—is an up-to-date young woman. She has a passion for study, ."rid thinks of little but her lessons, j ' be other day I remonstrated with 1 or. ‘Lila,” I said, “you are working too ! ;rd. Why do you do it?” “Well, auntie,” she answered, : ravely, “I heard somebody say that i be education of a child should begin with its grandmother. And I expect u be a grandmother, some day.” Important to Mothers. Examine carefully every bottle of OASTORIA a cafe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature of( In 17se For Over ,‘iO Years. The Kind You Have Always Bought Opinion of an Expert. “I hear you are going to marry Charley?” “Yes; he asked me last evening.” “Let me congratulate you. Charley is all right. He is one of the nicest fellows I was ever engaged to.”— Stray Stories. That an article may be good as well as cheap, and give entire satisfaction, is proven by the extraordinary sale of Defiance Starch, each package con taining one-third more Starch than can be had of any other brand for the same money. Perfect Gentleman. ling—Why did you speak to thal Id tramp, dear boy? jy—Why shouldn't I, old chap He isn’t in twade, and he doesn’t raw a living.—Penny Pictorial. (Marriage Service” Defined. foston cynic of the female per n defines the “marriage service” siting on one’s lord and master capacity of cook, laundress, tress and maid-of-all-work." BlUES CURED IN 6 TO 14 DAYS. ■OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure ary case Bing, Blind, Bleeding or Protruding Piles In ■days or money refunded. 60c. Id It sometimes happens that a Bis married to his boss. pos’ Single Binder straight 5c. You ■0c for cigars not so good. Your deal p Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111. pr what the mind wishes, that it I believes.—Heliodorus. .1^ U "AT ^ I ;vjBy JosepK C. Lincoln ! . Aurstatf Capn Eri’ ‘Partners of the TiOi' ! COPplOPf 1907 A t5 BSPN£$ £*o COHPAfif Illustraions ar TP.MetmA SYNOPSIS. Mr. Solomon Pratt began comical nar ration of story, introducing well-to-do Nathan Scudder of his town, and Edward Van Brunt and Martin Hartley, two rich New Yorkers seeking rest. Because of latter pair’s lavish expenditure of money, Pratt’s first impression was connected with lunatics. The arrival of James Hopper. Van Brunt's volet, gave Pratt the desired information about the New Yorkers. They wished to live what they termed ‘‘The Natural Life.” Van Brunt, it was learned, was the successful suitor for the hand of Miss Agnes Page, who gave Hartley up. “The HeavenBas’’ hear a long story of the domestic woes of Mrs. Hannah Jane Purvis, their cook and maid of all work. Decide to let her go and engage Sol. Pratt as chef. Twins agree to leave Nate Seudder’s abode and begin unavailing search for another domicile. Adventure at Fourth of July celebration at Eastwich. Hartley rescued a boy, known as “Reddy,” from under a horse’s feet and the urchin proved to be one of Miss Page's charges, whom she had taken to the country for an outing. Miss Page and Hartley were separated during a fierce storm, which followed the picnic. Out sailing later, Van Brunt, Pratt and Hopper were wrecked in a squall. Pratt landed safely and a search for the other two revealed an Island upon which they were found. Van P.runt rent ed it from Scudder and called it Ozone island. They lived on the island and Owner Scudder brought ridiculous pres ents as a token of gratitude. Innocently, Hartley and Hopper in search for clams robbed a private “quabaugh.” Late at night their island home was disturbed by wild yells. Hopper was found In a fright at what he supposed was a ghost and he immediately tendered his resignation. In charge of a company of New York poor children Miss Talford and Miss Page vis ited Ozone island. CHAPTER IX.—Continued. ‘‘Naw,’’ says Rednv. “Not while I’m dcwn here. Miss Agony cries over me and I’d rather be licked any time than that.” Hartley rumpled the youngster's hair with his fingers. “Sol,” he says, “there’s good here if you can get at it. Too much good to be running to waste. Ah, hum! Must be rather pleasant to have one or two cf your own; must make life almost worth living. That’s where you and I have missed it.” “You've got plenty of time yet,” says I. “Maybe you’ll be down in these dig gings nine or ten year from now with a family of your own.” He .smiled, kind of sad and one sided. Then he got up and walked out to the piazza. Rednv hung around a spell, long enough to ask a couple mil lion questions. Then he went into the parlor with the rest of the young In juns. Pretty soon I heard some one speak. I looked through the doorway and see the Page girl coming up the porch steps alone. Hartley stood up and lifted his cap. “Where's Van?” he asked. “He’s down on the beach with Mar garet. I came back to look after the children." “They're all right,” says Martin. “Playing games in the front room.” Agnes stopped for a second in the doorway. “I don't just understand,' she said, hesitating, "why you are here. Is it true that your health is bad?” • “No,” he said, with a little laugh. “I did feel rather gone to seed before I left town, but now I'm having the time of my life." “Indeed?” says she. “So far from Wall street? I'm surprised." He didn’t seem to answer—least ways I didn't hear him. Next thing I knew he was standing on the top step. “Please excuse me,” he says, pretty frosty. “I must speak to James.” He went off down the steps aad out of sight. She stood and watched him a minute, and I thought she looked puzzled—and solemn. Then she went into the parlor. We had dinner out doors on the piazza. While it was going on the grown-ups didn't do much talking. It’s precious little fun trying to talk against a typhoon and an earthquake mixed, and that's what them Fresh Air young ones turned that meal into. ’Twas “Hurrah boys! Stand from un der!” from the beginning. When I wa’n't filling up fish plates I was dodg ing potato skins and similar bou quets. They didn’t' fire ’em at me, you understand, but it’s always the feller that’s looking on at the row who gets hit. Rednv was cap'n of the gun crew. He could chuck a potato skin with his left hand and eat with his right and look pious and shocked all at the same time. , ■ • When the juniors was filled up—and it wa’n’t no slouch of a job to get 'em filled—they went off to start a riot somewheres else and the Twins and the girls had a chance. Van got to telling about Scudder’s presents, and he was funny as usual. That Margaret Tal ford would laugh until I had to join in just out of sympathy, even though I was up to my eyes in soapsuds and dishwashing. She was a jolly girl, that one; pretty and full of snap and go. Nothing would do but them "pres ents” must go on exhibition. So Van lugged ’em down from James’ room and lined ’em up on the piazza for in spection. He took a stick for a pointer and gave a lecture about ’em, same as if they was a panorama, pointing out what he called the “feeling” and “atmosphere” of the shell basket and the “perspective” of Marcellus in the crayon enlargement. He had a good time and so did everybody else, espe cially Miss Talford. By and by she clapped her hands. “Oh!” says she, VI’ve got an idea. Did you say your man was going to leave you, Mr. Van Brunt?” , Van heavtJ a sigh. “Yes,” he says “I believe he is. I fear that James hasn't the artistic temperament. I con fess I'm disappointed. He certainly looked as if he had it; he was sad and soulful and—and—dyspeptic. But no: even the ‘Motherless Home' didn't ap peal to him. He says he’s to night.” “I wonder if hs would come over to the school'?'' rays she. “We need a man there, don’t we, Agnes? To help about the plac*’ ?. id look out for the boys, and to—1> to protect us.” I Lucky .lames!” says Van. "But why Jaies? Won’t Martin here do—or— ex^se my blushes—myself?” Iyt the Talford girl laughed and sau;he wouldn’t do at all. He lacked digity, she said, and didn’t look the pari she asked Miss Page if she realj didn’t think that James would be jit the man for them. Agnes said Perhps he would. So the four of ’em wen&way for a walk on the beach and ( talk it over. I'lllet I called that valaf anything but a|hurch member and a good feller a dozjf times over while I wak diving into |iem' dishes. I washed and washt* till, seemed to me, I was soakeiout fresh enough to bile, ihre a pickU codfish. And when the wasX ing wadone there was the wiping. I laid oij a bale or so of dish towels and pitied in. Prettlsoon somebody says: "Mayn't I help around and there was Ag Nlce to look at, she was, hetp you, please?” says she a to\ei. jsakes. i*}!” says I. “You'll |r fine clones. Besides I've if used to it \y this time; my round of itself, like a pad She fghed and grabbed a chowder plate 11 commenced to wipe. Ste done fly well for anybody whV hadn't iracticed much, but she never | would ave won the cup for speed. One c h every five minutes is all right, aybe, if you’re getting paid by the yei, but— However, I judged her ma ke hired help to home. I won dered lat she'd done with Hartley. By i d by she says: "Mr. Pratt, how lo : do you expect to stay here?” "Mayn't I Help?' “Here?" ?s I. “On Horsefoot—on Ozone islai? Land knows. Long’s the Heave es—that is, long’s Mr. Van Brunt d Mr. Hartley stay here, I guess. It \ restful place, ain’t it?” says I, reatng for the next stack of dishes. She smil« “No doubt they find it so,” she sa; "How do you like the Natural Lif ’ “Who—m Oh, I cal'late I shall like it tipto when I get a little more used to it—at is, if I last. I was oldest boy i:. family of nine, and dad died young, I was brought up Natur al, as you n ht say. It’s been some time, thoug since I had so many hours of si ight-along, pitch-in-and hustle Natu ness in the day’s run; been getting rtificial and lazy of late years, I gues But I’m tough, and I’ll be all right i used to it pretty soon —getting lo of practice. By the way,” I says, vho was it that sent ’em here?” “Who?" 8? she, looking surprised. “Sent? I do ; understand.” “Was Mr. in Brunt and his chum sent here by e doctor, or who?” "Why, I di’t know they were sent at all. I thin] hey name here of their own accord.” “Humph!” ys I, considering. “Was any of their ks ever took this way? Does it run ii he families?” That seem to tickle her and I guess she ui ?rstood what I meant. But she didr answer the question; went on dry-] tailing the pickle dish. Then she saj kind cl accidental on purpose: “Is Mr. Har iy’s health improving?” ‘‘Oh, yes!” ys I. “He’s picking up some, 'specia ■ in his appetite. He ain't up to Va Brunt in that line yet, their b. Van ,tn lor three; Hartley’s only up to the ae-m-.i-and-a-boy mark so far. Ke'd di >etter It he didn’t have them blue st; iks of his. Seems to have acmethlE on his mind.” tlest in my arms down to the heayj. But they was all full fed and sUv". burned and dirty and happy, ana they'd had the bulliest time in their poor, pinched-up little lives. “Well, good-by, Andrew Jackson,” says I to itedny. "Had good time enough to want to come again, have you?” “Sure thing,” says he. "Like it as well here as you do over at the school?” “Yup,” he says. “Ain’t nobody to plug potato skins at over there.” He was a smart little coot. Had the makings of a man in him if you dug down far enough to get at It. Lord James comes down to the shore tugging his trunk behind him. ‘‘So long, Hopper,’ says I. “Shall I give your love to ?' lrcellus’ spook it it comes gliding again?” He looked at me very solemn. “You’d better come too,” be says. “You take my advice and leu e this blooming island now w’ile you ’ave the chance. There’ll come a time,'’ says he, “when you won’t ’ave it.” He climbed into the dory and set WHAT WAS THE GOOD OF IT? Willie Wanted the Cood Things of Life, Not Its Vanities. Willie is six years old, with a broth er and sister two and four years older, and these two, were recently invited by Mi's. Blank to a little party, much to the discomfiture of Willie, who was alighted. When the other two children had gone, Willie’s mother was doing what she could to smooth his ruffled feelings. “I heard Mrs. Blank talking about you, Willie, the other day,” she said, “and she said you were the handsom est boy In all this town!” Willie didn’t say anything for a moment, and then he lifted his big, browrf, tear-stained eyes to Ills moth er's face. “Well, mamma," he half sobbed, “what's the good of bein’ beautiful If a fellow doh’t git invited to no par ties?”—Young Ladies' Journal. -werhaps lie’s troubled about leav ing his business ” she suggests, look ing sideways at the pickle dish. “Guess not,” says I, looking side ways at her. “I don’t think I’ve heard him mention business since he's been down. No, ’tain’t that, according to my notion. He ain’t in love, is he?” She looked at me then pretty hard; but I was as wooden-faced as a cigar sign. “Dear me, no," she laughs, brisk. “I guess not. What made you think that?” “Oh, nothing,” says I. “I ain’t ever been took that way mysetT, but it j seemed to me he had all the symp toms. Didn't know but he was fret j ting about some young woman. He's ! a fine chap, that young Hartley. It’ll | be a lucky girl that gets him.” She didn’t say much more, but she looked at me every once In a while as if she was wondering. I never let on. I was as innocent and easy as the cat with the cream on its whiskers. I had a sneaking hope that I might have boosted Hartley a little mite, and I felt good down one side. Then I thought of Van, and I felt mean all up the other. After a spell the Twins and Miss Talford happened along, and what a time Van Brunt made when he see his girl helping me wipe dishes. “Well, well!” he says. "Is this the way you hurry back to ‘see what the n. ' shoulders of the bigger ones, and 1 bad t0 tote tWQ Qf the jjt down all huddled up In the stem with his trunk between his knees. Bcuddcr begins rowing and they moved off. “There,” says Van, referring to his lordship, “goes the final tie that binds us to a sordid past. Shall we sing ‘The Last Link Is Broken,' Martin' Or have you something more appro priate to suggest, skipper?” "I have for myself,” says I. “It's ‘Work, for the Night Is Coming.' ’’ And I hurried up to the house to get supper. CHAPTER X. The Voyage of the Ark. The Heavenlies was late down to breakfast next morning, owing, J cal late, to the loss of Lord James. 1 could hear ’em hailing each other asking: “What’s become of my goli stocking?” and the like of that Trouble seemed to be that they had too many clothes. If they’d been lim ited to one suit for Sunday and a paii of overalls to cover up the ruins the rest of the week, like I was, they'd have got along better. But they was rigged at last and at breakfast was chipper as a pair ol mackerel gulls. They commenced tc talk garden. Consarn ’em, I hoped they’d forgot that. “The loam business is all right, Sol,' says Van. “Scudder will bring us loam at three dollars a boat load. He says it’ll take about 15 boat loads.” "He does, hey?” says 1. “At three dollars per? That's generous of him Anything else?” "Yes. He is to continue to bring us milk. We have decided that perhaps for the present we had better not keep a cow." Small favors thankfully received. 1 was glad that milking wa'n’t going to be added to the general joyfulness. "I think that's a nice, far-sighted de cision, says I. “Unless you could learn your cow to eat seaweed, I don't see—” “Oh, Scudder cuuld bring us hav," says Van. “And we could give the animal the spare vegetables from the garden." “ Twould be a long time between meals for the poor critter, I’m afraid," says I. "How much is Nate charging for the milk?” “Nine cents a quart. That’s onlj one cent more than you have to pay in New York, and, when you considet how far he has to bring it, I call it dirt cheap.” Well, ’twas about as cheap as the garden dirt, but I didn't say nothing. “We re going to raise chickens, too,’ says Hartley. “Scudder, so Van says, will sell us live Plymouth Rocks at 30 cents a pound. Skipper, you might fix up the poultry yard in your spare time." In my “spare” time. There was a joke in that, but it wa'n’t so intended. Thfen Van Brunt began to preach “pig.' Seems Nate had told him that the one thing needful to turn Ozone island into a genuine Natural Life was a pig, and of course he, Nate, had the only pig in creation that was worth buying. He showed it to me the other morn ing, says Van. “The prettiest littie black and white fellow you ever saw, Martin. Miss Talford saw him yes terday before she came over, and she said he was a dear. You might be repairing a sty for him in your odd moments, Sol.” My odd moments, and my even ones, too, was pretty well filled up for the next few days. The Heavenlies loafed and superintended and smoked and fished and ate. All I had to do was to turn out with the gulls, and cook breakfast, and clear away, and wash dishes, and build hen yards, and >ig pen, and get ready trdens, and sweep and lams, and make beds, and sail a boat, and bundle up washing for Huldy Ann, and scout nd—well, there was even or eight hundred lipped my memory. Has ready for planting y. Nate fetched over >ad of loam the night jad it afore I got sup ck at the shore ready Nate?" I® asSTnagerie C°rflinS lj00f9- ' v In cages or on the >rSo,>”he pig in another. A°ne box ?nd: *,be Sard w Heavenly Brunt begun One tch for Van had se e °ther for ]ey They brought thf Peck> re or less, charged for ler'8 press and The Twins *tak' prices geance. I sh ln w* ven. I was super . how- V once suited me fine—noi d th\ j0fc tickled me more, un would '\ave in and take a nap. to trn Van takes one hoe an< other. Each ey thel round-shouldered from the Vtually the seeds in their pockets. T^t of \ cucumber seeds, and melon seedfcad land knows what. Wonder to meN) they didn’t try oranges and pineappn And in the middle of July! \ “Now, Martin,’’ says Van. "Her' goes! Bet you fifty I get the first cucumber.” " (TO BE CONTINUED.) WHAT THE DOLLIES HAD. Small Wonder That the Little Mother Was Really Alarmed. Little Mary was really very ill. Mother said she was sure it was an attack of appendicitis, but Grandma was equally sure the little one was threatened wdth convulsions. The argument waxed warm in Mary’s presence, and appropriate reme dies were used, and the next day she was better. Coming into her mother’s room dur ing her play she said: "Mamma, two of my dollies are very sick this morning.” “Indeed, *lear, I am very rorry. What is the matter with them?” “Well I don’t really know, mamma, i hut I think Gwendolyn has ‘a pint o’spiders’ and Marguerite is going to have ‘envulsions.’ ” evenly matched. Magistrate (to witness)—And where were you when this assault occurred? Witness—Just across the street, your honor. Magistrate—Then why didn't you go to the plaintiff’s assistance when you saw him attacked? Witness—Faix, I wasn’t sure then that he wouldn’t be the defendant, your honor. His Absent-Minded View. They were engaged in purchasing shoes for the children. The husband was a former teacher, but the wife j was a very intelligent and practical j person, relates the Chicago News. “For school purposes I don’t want and dull kids for they roughen up so ' easily,” said the wife to the sales woman, adding: “What do you think of it, dear?” “Well,” he said absent-mindedly. "I have known a good many dull kids at school, but I never regarded them as any rougher than other children." Beware of Ointments for Catarrh that Contain Mercury, as mercury will surely destroy the sense of smell and completely derange the whole system when entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such articles should never be used except on prescrip tions from reputable physicians, as the damage they will do is tea fold to the good you can possibly de rive from them. Hall’s Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney A Co., Toledo, O., contains no mer cury- and is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. In ! buying Hall's Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine. It is tAken internally and made in Toledo, ! Ohio, by F. J. Cheney A Co. Testimonials tiit. I Sold by Druggists. Price. 75c. per bottle. Take Hall s Family Pills for coustlpation. Reflected Glory. "Say, what do you think!" cried De ■ Ripper. "Give us the answer,” said young Van Dippy. “I’ve just found out,” cried DeRip per, "that I wear the same sized shoe as the chap who kicked out a victory l for Harvard, don't you know!” With a smooth iron and Defiance Starch, you can launder youi shirt waist just as well at home as the steam laundry can; it will have the proper stiffness and finish, there will be less wear and tear of the goods, and it will be a positive pleasure to us.e a Starch that does not stick to the iron. It Would Seem So. Giles—The camel should be the most courageous of all animals. Miles—Because why? Giles—Because it is nearly all back bone. See? ONLY ONE “BROMO QITJNIN'E” That i s LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look fm tte riOMor. of E. W. GROVE. Usod the World I over to Cure a Cold in One Day. 2i»c. It is better to begin late doing our duty than never.—Dionysius. Lewis’ Single Binder Cigar has a rich taste. Your dealer or Le»U’ Factory. Peoria, 111. He isn’t much of a baker who eats ; all the bread he kneads. __ .. I'so Allen’s Foot-Ease r2LI?ftIr(t- A perfect ren Q| | | Q edy tor Dizziness, Nau • IJmsOs sea, Drowsiness, Bad _ Taste in the Month, Coat ed Tongue. Pain in the l.. ■ ■ ■ ISlde, TORPID LIVKK. They regulate the Bowels. Purely Vegetable. SMALL PILL. SMALL DOSE. SMALL PRICE. Genuine Must Bear Fac-Simiie Signature _REFUSE SUBSTrrUTES, Western Canada MORE BIG CROPS {ft.1^08 Another 68,000 set tlers from the Urihed States. New dis tricts opened Iot set tlement. 320 acres ofland tccacbset • ler,— 160 free homestead and 160 at $3.00 per acre. A vast rich country and a contented pros* perous people. n—E.ri rm t from . or rt op a National Editor, whose 7'is/t to iTestern Canada, in August, J90S, was an inspiration. Many have paid the entire cost c f their farms and had a balance of from $10.00 to $20.00 per acre as a result of one crop. Spring wheat, winter wheat, oats, barley, flax and peas are the principal crops, while the wild grasses bring to perfection the best cattle that have ever been sold on the Chicago market. Splendid climate, schools and churches tn all 1 ocalities. Railways touch most of the settled districts, and prices for produce are always good. Lands may also be pur chased from railway and land companies. F°r pumphlets, maps and information re garding low railway rates, apply to Superin tendent of Immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or the authorized Canadian Government Agent; W. V. BENNETT. 801 New fork Lite Building. Omaha, Nebraska. GROOMING COUNTS But it cannot maka a Fair Skin or a C lossy Coat. Women with good complexions eounot be homely. Creams, lotions, washes and powders cannot make I a fair skin. Efcry horseman knows that the satin coat, of his thoroughbred comes from the animal's “all-right” condition. Let the horss get “off his feed" and his coat turns dull. Cot lying, trashing and rubbing will give him a clean coat, but cannot produce the coveted smoothness and gloss of the horse’s skin, which is his com plexion. The ladies will seo the point. Lane’s Family Medicine Is the best preparation for ladies who desiro a gentle laxative medicine that will give the body perfect cleanlintras internally and the wholesomeness that produces such skins as painters love to copy. At druggists’, 25c. DR. McIXTOSH celebrated NATURAL UTERINE SUPPORTER gSSKSB^'SiSMRS.'ss V'MSS^rS'ffiSjt 912 W alnutSt., Philadelphia, i*a., iua7iulaeunv«*ra oiH **> TANNIN6££R£MiS Company, So. Omaha,No£ kF-Hides and Furs W. N. U., OMAHA, NO. V 1909. A flavoring that is used the same a3 lemon or vanilla By dissolving granulated sugar in wa ter and adding Mapieine, a delicious synap is made and a syrup better than maple. Maptein* is sold.by grocers. Send ac stamp for sample and recipe book. Crescent Mfg. Co., Seattle.