The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917, December 10, 1908, Image 7

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    “What's the Use of 'Er Lowering 'Erself to Marry a Man Whose Father
Got 'Is Money in Trade?”
^ JBy C. EJr&cofin
Ai i hob of "Cap* Lri* "Partners of the Tide"
Copyp’Gft/ '■'9Cn A 6 Ba&meb sup Company
Illustrations m T.D.PIld-tu. ■—“
Mr. Solomon Pratt b* gan comical nar
ration of story, intro* ing well-to-do
Nathan Seudder of his town, and Edward
Van Brunt and Martin Hartley, two rich
New Yorkers seeking rest. Because of
latter pair s lavish expenditure of money.
Pratt’s first impression was connected
with lunatics. The arrival of James
Hopper. Van Brunt's valet, gave Pratt
fi;t desired information about the New’
Yorkers. They wished i<> lfve what they
t« r c : ’The Natural Life." Van Brunt.
I learned, was the sue • ssful suitor
<“ hand of Miss Agnes Pas* , who
u Hartley up. “The Hi avt nlies” hear
j a story of the domestic woes of
Mr Hannah Jane Purvis, their cool; and
i of all work. Decide to let her g«*
Ri ngage Sol. Pratt as chef. Twins
u> leave Nate Svudd-.'T^ abode and
h unavailing sear* h for another
»ior: die. Adventure ;:t Fourth of July
c. -.ration at Eastwich. Hartley rescued
a i v. known as “Reddy," from under a
1 r •• *s fe<*t and the- urchin proved to be
or «-f M ss Page’s eharges. whom she
) taken to the country for an outing.
M. Page and Hferth-y were s* pirated
during a fierce storm, which followed he
pi- «•. Out sailing later. Van Brunt.
Pr. i and Hopper wer* wrecked in a
sr,::tTl. Pratt landed saft y and a search
for tkf other two re\*-;ih u an island upon
w) It tliey were found. Van Brunt rent
ed t from Seudder and ■ ali* r! it Ozone
isi. d.
Sweet Simplicity.
And so that's how they begun to live
th< Natural Life, what Van called the
‘T( erpt-no-imitations" kind. 1 says
“t. but I ought to have said “we”
fo- I was in it. I was in it over head
ar 1 hands frcm that time on. I didn't
in< in to be. When I said I wouldn't
1 err grate to Horsefoot Ozone and be
oc £ and general roustabout for the
H-uvenly Twins I was just as certain
I i -ant what I said as a body could be.
No:” says I.
Yes,” says Van.
How can I leave the Old Home
?" -?” I says.
(Tow can you leave us?" he says.
Jut you've got Janies."
‘ Yes but James hasn't got us.”
Tut I can't afford to come,” says I.
• You can't afford to do anything
"If " says he. And that's about what
it ; Dounted to—1 couldn't afford to do
no;.:irg else. The wages kept jumping
like summer folks' bids at one of them
auction sales of “antiques." I seemed
io be as valuable as grandmother's
|| busted hair cloth sofa. If I'd hung out
long enough I cal'late the Heavenlies
would have fixed me so I'd have begun
to feel ’tvas a crime to die rich. I
give in first: I want everybody to un
derstand that.
"All right,” says 1. "That'll do; I’ll
come. Put I hope v oil'll pay me in a
dark room. I’ll be ashamed to look
you in the face and take that much
They said they was satisfied if 1
was. I w’as satisfied, all but my con
science. Made me wish I could swop
consciences with Seudder.
Nate's conscience wasn't worrying
him any; you can bet on that. 1
wan’n’t around when he made the deal
for renting 'em the island, but. from
what I heard afterwards, the price
would have been high if he'd been sell
ing it to 'em by the pound to scour
knives with He agreed to get bedding
for ’em and tin things, and a pig. and
crockery, and hens, and groceries, and
boards to tinker up the barn with, and
r anything else that might come in
handy. Likewise he was to fetch and
"arry for ’em between the village and
the island; so much to fetch and twice
that to carry. And Huldy Ann was to
do the washing.
When the Twins told me about it
you’d think they’d just pulled through
one of them stock "deals" of theirs,
and come out on top.
“Isn't it great?” crows Van, happy
as a clam at high water. “We've ar
ranged it all. Everything is provided
for and will be done."
I could see two things that was go
ing to be done—brown; but I didn’t
•ay nothing.
"It's mighty good of Scudder to ac
| oommcdate us this way," says Hart
| !e>. "He's a gem. a rough diamond.”
"Scudder." says Van, “is one of Xa
j ture's noblemen."
Of course ’twa’n't none cf my funer
! al; I couldn’t interfere. But I'm a
! democrat myself, so the nobility don't
i appeal to me much, and if Xate Scud
| der's a diamond I’m glad 1 can't af
| ford jewelry.
The next day was a busy one for all
i hands, each in his own particular
j line. Xate commenced running "ac
' oommodation” trains, so to speak, be
; tween his house and the village and
1 Horssfoot Bar—Ozone island, I should
j say. As for me. 1 went up to the Old
Home house right off. explained mat
ters to the manager and cleared out
j loi my new job. The Heavenlies moved
over to Ozone that very morning. Lord
; James went with 'em and the simple
naturalness commenced.
Fast as Xate would arrive in his
dory with a cargo of dunnage I'd cart
j it up to the Berry house and dump it
i on the piazza. Lord James was flying
J around, with a face on him as sour as
; a cranberry pie, opening windows and
• airing rooms and sweeping out, and
| the like of that. The old shebang had
1 been shut up for a couple of years
| and was as musty and damp as a re
ceiving tomb. His lordship looked like
the head mourner; this kind of work
jarred, his dignity.
"L; ck a'-ere. Pratt." says he to me.
"'Ow long do you think we're going to
stay ’e-re?"
"At here?" says I, siidiug a trunk and
a coa! hod off my shoulders, and mop
j ping my forehead with my shirt sleeve.
"Why 'ere. on this 'orrible sand
A ou want to be careful," says I,
| "how you call names. This is Ozone
| Horsefoot island, and it's a branch sta
tion of Paradise. Didn't you hear the
! boss say so?"
"But ow long are we going to stay
i ere? "he says again.
■'Well," says I, "when a feller gets to
Paradise it's the general idea that he’s
there for keeps. What are you growl
ing about? Such a nice restful spot,
too. Don't you like to be restful?"
He looked at his hands, they was
all over blisters from the broom.
"Restful!" he groans. “Good 'eav
"Come, James.“ says Hartley, loaf
I ing around the corner, with his hands
in his pockets. "Get a move on. We
must have this house in order by to
The Twins was awful busy. too.
! They done the heavy superintending,
j Hartley superintended the house and
! piazza and Van Brunt bossed the un
loading and trucking of the dunnage
from the dory. As for me. I was the
truck. After the first day was over
I could see that all the natural living
I'd done in my time wa'n't the real
thing at all. Not a circumstance to it.
1 carted dunnage all the forenoon.
Then 1 cooked dinner and washed dish
es. James was going to help me wipe
’em. but Van's clothes had got wet
when he was adrift in the Dora Bas
sett and they . id to be pressed. So
I wiped and cleaned up and carted;
more dunnage, including stove pipe
and blankets and tiour and quilts and
nails and pork and pillows and a rake
and sugar, and the land knows what.
Then I cooked supper. And how them
Paradise tenants did eat!
"By gad, you know!" busts rr Van
Brunt, with his mouth f-’ this is
what we've br-' t looking for, Martin.
This is getting oack to nature.”
Hartley grunted, b .ig too busy with
a fried mackerel t _ik with comfort
But it was easy to see he was satisfied.
They went on, bragging about how
good it was to cut loose from the fight |
and worry of the Street. At last, ac
cording to Van. they realized that life
was worth living.
“No more speculation for me,” he
says, joyful. "No more fretting about
margins. I don’t give a continental if
the bottom drops out of the market
and carries the sides wiih it I here
by solemnly swear for the fifth time
never to buy another share of stock.”
Then he reaches after another half
acre slab of my johnny-cake.
Lord James was upstairs in the
sleeping vaults sorting out bed clothes.
The sheets and blankets and things
was more or less mixed up with the
hardware and groceries. I was out
in the kitchen getting ready a second
relay of mackerel. The dining room
door was open, so 1 could see and hear
“By the way, Martin,” says Van.
buttering the johnny-cake, how did
Agnes look? Well?”
“Yes,” says Hartley, short.
"She must have been surprised to
see you. Did you tell her we were
naturalized citizens, or on the road
to it?”
“No? Why not? She probably
thinks that we're down here organiz
ing another syndicate. For a girl
whose mother is of ihe world worldly,
Agnes has developed quc^er ideas. I
suppose I ought to go over and see
her," he went cn. “You said she had
another girl with her. Who it is?”
“Margaret Talford."
“Talford—Talford? One of the New
port Talfords? Oh. 1 know. Pretty
little girl, dark hair and brown eyes
and—and a way with her?”
”1 guess so. Very likely. I haven't
seen her."
Van seemed to be thinking. “I’ll
go over to-morrow," he says.
Then he commenced to whoop for
more mackerel and ‘twas time for me
to load up the platter. 1 thought I'd
cooked supper enough for six men, but
when the Twins got through I had to
fry another ration for me and Lord
James. Eat! I never see such sharks
in my life.
When they'd finished everything on
the table, except the knives and forks
and the dishes, the Heavenlies went
outside to smoke cigars and prom
enade up and down the beach. His
lordship and I set down to have a bite
“Say.” says 1. “that Page girl is a
good looker, ain't she?”
He was horrified, same as; he always
was when you mentioned the New
York big bugs without getting up and
“Miss Page." says he, "is a member
of one of our first families.”
“Want; to know." says I. "First in
what ?”
"First in everything,” he says. “Her
father was one of our oldest resi
“So?' says I. “Oldest inhabitant,
hey ? I suppose he could remember
way back afore the town hall was
built, and about the hard winter of
'38. and how his ma's cousin used to
do chores for George Washington.”
I knew pretty well what he meant,
but, you see. I liked to stir him up. He
was such an innocent critter; always
swallowed hook, line and sinker. It
done me good to see him stare at me
after I said things like this.
A11 he said now though was ”’Or
“How about your boss, this Van
Brunt?" says I. “He's another first
: at , ut?> .
The Van P.runts was even more
"first families" than the Pages, s *he
valet said. They'd been there ver
since New York was built. "Twas
their ancestors that got up the first
barn-raising, or words to that effect
“And Hartley?" says I.
That was different. The Hartleys
was another breed of cats. Martin's
dad was born in Chicago or some
wheres outside of New York. He'd
repented of it. of course, and tried to
live it down, but he never had been
quite the big apples on the top layer,
like the Van Brunts. He was dead
now. old man Hartley was; been dead
three or four years.
“How about ma?" says I.
She was dead, too; died a year or
more ago. Martin wa an orphan.
And then 1 cal'lated it was about
time to heave out the question that I'd
been leading up to ail along.
"What made the Page girl cut loose
trom him and take up with Van?" i
says. “She don’t <ook like the kind
that would be too hard on a chap just
because his dad made the mistake of
being born out of township limits."
Lord James fidgeted some over that.
First he said he didn't know.
“Well,” says I, “let’s guess then.
Guessing's a good Yankee trick and
you’d ought to have picked it up by
this time. You guess first.”
He didn’t want to guess, but I kept
at him, throwing out all sorts of fool
ish maybes and perhapses. Finally he
got tired of saying "No.”
“Oh, I don't know," says he. “I 'eard
as ow 'twas because 'e was too mer
cenary. 'E was an awful chap in the
Street after ’is old man died. E was
there night and day. Ardly came 'ome
at all."
“Humph!" says I. "I'd never sus
picioned it to look at him. Wa n't he
doing well at his job?”
Lord James said it wa'n't that. Said
he was doing mighty well. Folks was
calling him a "born financier" and all
sorts of names.
“So?” says 1. "Then 1 don't see that
Miss Page had any complaints. 'Tain't
usual for a young woman to kick be
cause her, steady company is making
tco much money. There's something
else. Out with it. I'll keep my mouth
So then he told me a little—much as
he knew, I guess likely. Seems that
he was acquainted with the feller they
call the butler—sort of a steward. 1
judged he was—over at the Page girl's
house. And this butler v sweet on
the "n: .id”—the y , oman vale
who ;v.ok tare of Agnes' duds and
are rigging. And one night this maid
happened to be in the “conservatory”
—which 1 presumed likely was the
high-’ d name for preserve clos
et—and iss Page an . lartley was in
the setting room. An 1 Agnes was
laying into Martin lor staying down
town and neglecting her.
The maid said she could hear only
part of the talk, but twas more than
average sharp rnd vinegary. Agnes
told Martin he was getting more mer
cenary every day he lived. That all
he thought of was the office and ma
king money. She detested a mercen
ary. hard, money-grasping man. Said
money-loving was the worst vice there
was. and she thanked God she had
none of it. meaning vice, of course—
she had money enough to sink a ship.
Then Martin he speaks up proud and
short and says he has been working
hard and had been trying to make
money. Said he had a good reason for
it. and some day he wouid tel! her
what it was. She said he could tell hei
now or hang his May-baskets on some
body else's door—or words to that ef- j
feet. He says "Very well,” and she
says something else, but the maid
didn’t hear it because just then old
lady Page come in and give her her
walking papers for listening.
And so,” says Lord James, "the en
gagement was broke off. And a good
'king, too, I say. Wat's the use of 'er
lowering 'erself to marry a man whose
father got 'is money in trade?”
"How did Van's dad get his money?'
I asks.
"P.y inheritance,” says he. “Of course
Mr. Edward dabbles in shares, but.
Lord love you. only for the fun of it."
"How was the inheritance come by
in the first place?" says I. He didn't
Know, but I found out aft.erw’ards.
Grandpa Van Brunt was an alderman.
The Twins come back into the house
then. They come in slapping and
jawing. 1 judged that the mosquitoes
was living the Natural Life too. The
Heavcnlies set down on each side of
the fireplace—I had a wood fire going,
just for sociableness—and smoked
and talked.
By and by Van rummages out that
Natural book and spreads it open.
"Martin.” says he. "hark to the
voice of the oracle. Come in here,
skipper, and improve your mind."
iiut me and his lordship was im
proving the dishes jus: then. and. 1
when that was done, he had beds to j
make and I had bread to mix and fires !
to lay and wood to chop and a couple J
iif million other chores to do. The j
Twins read and talk* d until they got -
sleepy, which was about half past nine i
or so; earlier than usual, but neither
of 'em had rested well the night afore, j
i guess. Anyhow, they weir, upstairs :
to turn in and I kept on with my work, j
Lord James turned in too. He had the
back bedroom, the one over the
'Twas still as still could be. The
door and windows was open and there j
wan t a sound except the mosquitoes !
humming glad and thankful, and the
breeze whining in the pines outside
and the waves moaning along the bay
shore of the island. Once in awhile I'd i
hear his lordship thrash over in bed
and fetch a grunt or a groan in his
sleep. He had one of the late Mar- j
cellus' cornhusk mattresses, and i I
wouldn't wonder if there was a cob !
end or two in with the husks. A rake *
across the back from a corn cob ain't
| the most comforting thing in the world
I even when a feller is used to it. and j
| Lord James had been brought up |
Pretty soon I went to the back door
I to throw out s- jie fish hones and
I things and then I heard somebody i
i ramping through the sand up to the j
I house. Neighbors are scarcer than
i snake's finger-nails 'round Horsefoot ;
; Ozone and I couldn't think who was
j coming at this time of night. I ain't
it nervous chap, generally speaking. |
' but 1 remember how old Marceilus had 1
; lied in this very house all sole a’one, ]
i and the short hairs at the bark of my
! neck begun to bristle tip. 1 cal'lated \
if anything would fetch a sot old cod
i get like Marceilus out of his grave,
I the doings of the Heavcnlies was that
j But in a minute more the walker got !
j into the light from the door and 1 ]
! eoulJ see him. And i was most as ,
! much surprised as if he had been Mar- i
j (Ulus himself. 'Twas Nate Scudder. ’
i with his arms full of bundles.
Crse Where Some Abbreviations Might
Be Pardoned.
j The names bestowed upon some of '
, the small southern varkies remind J
| one of those of the old Roundhead i
; da: s — Hope-Above-Williams. Have •
| Faith-to-Be-Sa.ed-John Mitchell, and j
| sc on. Not long ago a visitor in Rich- I
| tnc.-rttl was having his shoes poliift&d
; dy a little coal-black specimen about
is inches in height, but possessed cf
gleaming white teeth and rolling eyes
"What is your name?” the visitor
id y asked. "Gen. sah ' was the reply,
accompanied by a grin of startling
[ proportions.
" Gen?" 1 suppose that is an ab
[ breviation of general?" the visitor,
who had some idea of the fondness of
negroes for titles, inquired.
"No, sah. don’t know as ’tis,” was
the reply, "abbreviations" evidently
being too much for hint. "Mah sho"
nc ugh name am Genesis-XXX-33-So
in-Time-to-Come-Washington Carter,"
an day des calls me ‘Gen* for short!"
—"he Bohemian.
The mother was bu in the house
and did not notice tL a thunder
sto’-m was coming up Presently Wil
lie came in from pla; md she said:
V'bv. Willie, what arc on in for? I
thought you were to b out ail after
noon. Willie replied: was. mamma,
bu. God knocked on th sky to let me
know it was going to : in so I could
come in and keep dry.
Prudence. ' ..
"Why did you hit tha boy when he
was down? asxed the gray-bearded
mac. "Don't you know that was a
cowardly thing to do?”
“It wasn't cowardly; it was just pru
dent." replied the boy who had deliv
ered the blow. "He was down because
he slipped, and 1 was afraid he might
not step in the same place r.~ain if I
let him get up.”
His Investment.
Old Lady (who had given the tramp
a nickel)—Now. what will yru do with
Hungry Hobo—Waal, ye see mum.
ef I buy an auto, there ain t enough
left to hire a shofur. So 1 guess I’ll
get a schooner. I kin handle that me
Cheerfully Contributed to an Already
Unhappy World.
Trouble making is an older industry
than the manufacture of steel. Cain,
the trouble maker, got into action be
fore Tubal Cain, the iron worker;
and Eve got Adam into hot water long
before the Boiler Makers’ union began
There are three kinds of trouble—
imaginary, borrowed and real.
Imaginary trouble consists of rail
road accidents, earthquakes, fires, sui
cides, the 'poorhouse, death, and the
grave, carefully mixed and taken
after a late dinner, or a drop in the
stock market.
Borrowed trouble is the kind we get
from our relatives. Its principal in
gredients are visits, borrowed money,
birthday presents, advice and expecta,
tions. But the real article is pro
duced as follows: Put the sandals of
endurance on your feet, take your life
in your hands and follow by turn the
How-to-Be-Happy Philosopher-. the
Preacher of Physical CuPure and
the Apostle of Diet.—Puck
Ready with the Answer.
Miss Baxter, feeling the effects of a
torrid afternoon in June, was attempt
ing to arouse the interest of her lan
guid class by giving, as she supposed,
an interesting talk on the obelisk.
After speaking for half an hour she
found that her efforts were wasted.
Feeling utterly provoked, she cried:
“Every word that I nave said you have
let in at one ear and out of the other.
You"—pointing to a girl whom she no
ticed had been particularly inattentive
throughout the entire lesson—“tell me,
what is an obelisk?”
The pupil, grasping the teacher’s
last words, rose and promptly an
swered :
“An obelisk is something that goes
in one ear and out the other.”—Suc
cess Magazine.
She—Pooh! What is a kiss It is
He—Well you once said ycu could
refuse me nothing, you know.—Chips.
A Multiplicity of Fathers.
Ardyce had been learning to sing
“America" at school and was trying
to teach it to brother Wayne. One
morning his father heard him shout
ing: 'Land where my papa died, land
where my papa died.”
Ardyce interrupted: “Oh. no.
Wayne, not that way. It is ‘Land
where our fathers died.’ ”
Wayne's expression could not be
described as he tipped his head side
wise. and in a vert* surprised tone
gravely asked: “Two of 'em?”—De
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fiueness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
ble can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
The Changing Times.
Times have changed since 450 years
ago. when Hailey's comet, for whose
reappearance astronomers are now
looking, was in the heavens. Then the
Christian world prayed to be deliv
ered f-om “the devil, the Turk and the
comet.” Now it says the devil is not
as black as he has been painted, the
Turk is a negligible quantity and the
comet would bo rather welcome than
otherwise.—Boston Transcript.
Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
In Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
‘He caught me in the dark hall last
night and kissed me.” 13
"I guess that will teach him to keep
out of dark halls."—Houston Post.
One Thing That Will Live Forever,
PETTIT’S EYE SALVE, first box sold in
1807, 100 years ago, sales increase yearly.
All druggists or Howard Bros.. Buffalo. N. Y.
Truth is violated by falsehood,
and it may be equally outraged by
Lewis' Single Binder straight 5c cigar is
good quality all the time. Yctir dealer or
Lewis Factory, Peoria, HI.
To feign a virtue is to have its op
posite vice.—Hawthorne.
Mr*. 'Winslow's Soothing’ Hyrop.
For children teethinp, soften* the puns, reduce* ln
fUmiiDiUon, aliayB pain., cures wind coUl. 25c * bottie.
The blind population of Great Bri
tain is about 40,000.
lame back prescription
The increased use c? “Toris” for
lame back and rheumatism is causing
considerable discussion among the
medical fraternity. It is an almost in
fallible cure when mixed with cer
tain other ingredients and taken prop
erly. The following formula is effec
tive: “To one-half pint of good
whiskey add one ounce of Toris Com
pound and one ounce Syrup Sarsapa
rilla Compound. Take in tnblespcon
ful doses before each meal and be
fore retiring.”
Toris compound is a product cf the
laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceu
tical Co.. Chicago, hut it as well as the
other ingredients can be had from any
good druggist.
News from the Settlement.
“We are not exactly happy on the
way, but we are not too mean to
shout 'Amen' when the rest of the
world cries 'Halleluiah
“Just how the editor knew we had
'possum for dinner last Tuesday is
more than we can tell, but he came
just in the nick of time aLd dined
with us.
“We have much for which to be
thankful. We raise our own turkeys,
but turkey for dinner is so common
in our settlement that we sometimes
fonrei to thank Providence for it.
“There is no news to speak of, ex
cept that we'li all build up this old
country if we keep the saw in the log.
and keep the sawdust flying.”—At
lanta Constitution.
Grown-Up Children.
It is not only the frivolous whom
the spirit of childishness is just now
leading astray. Silliness is the fash
ion even among the wise. Women
especially affect a kind of childish
shrewdness in talking of serious sub
jects. Like children who have the
habit of romancing, they lose the
sense of reality, and because they nev
er talk exactly as they think they be
gin to think exactly as they talk.—
London Spectator.
Starch, like everytning else, is b€
mg constantly improved, the patent
Starches put on the market 25 years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est discovery—Defiance Starch—all in
jurious chemicals are omitted, whiie
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us. gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap
proached by other brands.
Not Anxious at All.
“One word of our language that is
almost always misused,’' said the par
ticuiar man. “is anxious.’ You will
hear people exclaim how anxious they
are to see a certain play, or anxious
to get a new- hat. or anxious to take a
trip to Europe, when they are not anx
ious at all, but eager or desirous. If
anxious were used only in the right
place we wouldn't hear it half so
How’s This?
We oI7f*r One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ca.v of Catarrh that ca met be cured by Hall's
l Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY A CO.. Toledo. O.
Wo. the undprsfcnicd. liav* known F. J. Cheney
I for the ’ast 15 year-, and believe him perfectly hon
orable in all busirr-K transactions and financially
ab;-* to carry cut any obligations made by his firm.
W ADDING. KiNNAN A MARVTX. Drucrtsts. Toledo. O.
Hall’s Catarrh Cure is taken internally, artlne
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the
system. Testimonials sent free. Trice 75 cent? per
bottle. Sold by ail Druerists
Ta*ic Had'b Family Tills for constipation.
Mo Deception.
“I bought some boom lots in a coast
town. Feller wrote me the land might
all be gone in a week if I didn't buy
“That's an old dodge."
“But he told the exact truth. The
ocean is carrying it off in chunks."—
S. Louis Republic.
With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you cat launder youi shirt
waist just as well at home as the
steam laundry can: it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
What Worried Him.
“Maud told me to call her father 'old
man.’ She said he'd like it."
“Did he ever like it?”
“Never mind about that. I'm busy
wondering why she toid me to do it.”
Lewis' Single Binder straight 5c cigar
made of rich, mellow tobacco. A'our
dealer or Lewis' Factory-, Peoria, 111.
When the members of a standing
committee meet they usually sit down
If Tour Feet Ache or Burn
a z5t* package of Allen's Foot-Eas*v If dr«?
quick relief. Two million packages sold yearly.
A tiresome speech' is apt to be a
cheerless affair.
Are your shoes going down hiil?
They haven’t lived up to the
salesman s say-so.
Take our say-so this time. Get
stylish White House Shoes.
They fit from tip to counter.
From welt to top fac& they meet
FOR MEN, *3.50. *4.00. *5 OOindSbloO.
FOR WOMEN, *3.50. $4.00 and *5.00.
Buster Browu Bine Ribbon Shoes for ynuunten. Aik your dealer for then.
the BROWN SHOE CO.. Makers —asa
Work with a Will.
We are not sent into this world to
do anything into which we cannot put
our hearts. We have, certain work to
do for our bread ami that is to be
done strenuously; other work to do
for our delight and that is to be done
heartily; neither is he done by
halves or shifts, but with a will; and
what is not worth this effort is cot
to be done at all.—John Rusk in.
The Split Skirt.
Patience—i see half of ihe people
call them sheath skirts, and the other
half call them directoire gowns.
Patrice—Yes: 1 was sun- there'd be
Gets gently yet prompt
ly, on the bovvels, cleanses
the system ejj actual ry,
assists one in overcoming
habitual constipation
permanently. To get its
beneficial effects buy
the gem line.
f lanujaeiut ct) b> the
Fig •Syrup Co.
Positively’ cured by
these Little fills
7*1 • re'.>Tf* D:
'tress from :a.l
d 1 »«t ion act! T« u ■ IJ ear! y
I it mg. A |H*ri«'ct runt
etty fur Dizzlnevx, Naa
sca* l)rt>r. stiM-«s, Bad
TasU*inlb< Hunt: ,Coat
ed Tongue, Tain In the
S1 d e, ,Tc >KPID L7 Yl li.
xney regulate we lioireiB. i'arci} vegetable.
Genuine Must Bear
Fac-Simile Signature
For Croup ar^d.
there is no quicker, surer
remedy known than Dr. D.
Jayne’s Expectorant. Four
generations of chiidren have
been relieved and cured by
this old and reliable medicine.
has been successfully em
ployed for over 78 years in
countless cases of Croup,
Whooping Cough, Cclcs, *
Bronchitis, Inflammation of
the Lungs and Chest, Pleu
risy, and similar ailments.
For the sake cf ycur children
keep a bottie of Dr D. Jayne s
Lxpectoran ii your home where
you wi!l have it at hand ir an
emergency Sold by all drugs: * vs
in three sure bottles, 6.It, 5 c
and 25c.
Dr. D. Jayne’* Tonic Vermifuge
.s the ideal v/orm medicine, and
an effective tonic fer adults and
children alike.
320 Acres Land
Fifty bushels per
acre have been
grown. General
a verageg realert han
in any other part of
the continent. Under
new regulations h is
possible to secure a homestead cf 160 acres
free, and additional 160 acres at $3 per acre.
The development of the country has m -de
marvelous strides. It is a revelation, a rec
ord of conquest hy settlement that is remark
able." Extract from correspondence of .t .V.Jl
Editor, vdho visited Canada in August last.
The grain crop of 1908 will pet manv
farmers $20.00 to $25.00 per acre. Grain -
raising, mixed fanning and dairying are
the principal industries. Climate is excel
lent; social conditions *he best; rail , ay ad
vantages u^equalled; schools. churches and
markets close at hand. Land may also be
purchased from railway and land companies.
For Last Best 'West** pamphlet*, jk Md
information as to how to secure lew. ^tn
wav.rates, apply to Superintender* .'Mrr. -
(ration. Ottawa. Canatra. or tht ..ceiled
Canadian Government Agent.
831 Kew Tark Ufc Bui Mice Feiilra. Sebrorls.
Health and Beauty Without Drags
Vibratory massage removes wrinkle?, make, the com
plexion clear and beautiful Cures rhenmatiwn. in
digestion .neuralgia, ete. Send t: for lamhert Sny
"*r Health \ ibrator, witbconipNe •nnQu>nih,
rfaaiyes prepaid. Wni.G.Kln*. 134 Mon** Bt..niieag«>.
ea»re eyes, ure Thompson’s Eye Miter
w. N. U., OMAHA, NO. 50. 1908.
%;arya,a'r & ^•sssussssnmnmiti"sssm7^«•■>—»» •»,.»«,««.