BY GEO. V. H03ART, (“HUGH M’HUGH.")
Dear Bunch: I'm headed for home,
but the hurdles are holding ine back.
I met a whole flock of “the bcvs” in
Rochester yesterday morning, and
since most of ’em were making a
flying leap for New York, you can be
lieve me it was a swift s;rpiad of sports
that climbed into one rf Mr. Pullman's
sleep-wagons and permitted them
selves to be yanked over the rails.
A bunch of brisk ones—believe me!
There was Charlie Hammond, lead
ing man with the ' Kitty, the Kasli
Girl” Company; David Torrence, first
heavy with the melodrama entitled
"The Haunted Automobile; or, Who
Stole the Muffler?” Frank Woslcrton.
first low sad with tho “Crazy-Quilt
Burlesquers;” Emmett Corrigan, who
Is lecturing through the provinces on
“How to Play Bridge Without Impair
ing the Tonsils;” Malcolm William,
the handsomest leading man in the
show-business — when completely
shaved; William Burress, the Bath
Robe King; Charlie Abbolt, who sells
that fine Monficello honey-dew, and
Arthur Shaw.
Shaw travels for a clothing house
in Cincinnati, and they call him Slim
because he’s getting so fat that every
time he turns around he meets him
self coming back.
He’s ail to the good—that boy is!
And such a cut-up!
Slim knows more “look-out! —
there’s-a-lad y-over-there! ” stories than
any other drummer in the business.
Then there was Nick Dalrymple and
Tod Gilpin—two live ones with a full
set of sparks flying.
Nick goes after the orders for a
hardware house in Columbus, and he
knows everybody in the world—bar
one family living in Yonkers.
Nick has only one trouble, he will
paddle after the ponies.
Whenever he makes a town where
there’s a poolroom his expense-account
gets fat and beefy, and Nick begins to
worry for fear he may win something.
He won $12 in Cleveland once, and
he spent $218 at a boozeologist’s that
jnight getting statistics on how it hap
pened.
! Tod Gilpin cuts ice for a match-fac
tory In Newark, and he’s the life of a
small party.
I Tod’s main hold is to creep into the
“reading-room” of a Rube hotel after
the chores are done of an evening and
throw salve at the come-ons.
Tod tells them that their town is
the brightest spot on the map, and
they warm up to him and want to buy
him sarsaparilla and root beer.
Then when he gets them stuck on
themselves he sells them matches.
“Pipe the gang to quarters and all
rubber!" said Slim, about half an hour
after the train pulled out.
In the seat ahead of us a somewhat
demure-lcoking Proposition in rain
bow rags had been sampling the scen
ery ever since we started.
We had all given her the glad
glance, but she was very much Cold
Storage, so we passed it up.
As Slim spoke, the Proposition was
joined by a young chap with a loose
face, who had been out in the smok
ing-room working faithfully on one of
those pajama panatella cigars that
bite you on the finger if you show the
least sign of fear.
Just then the train stopped for a
few minutes, and we were put wise
They Call Him Slim.
to the fact that it was an incurable
case of bride and groom.
"Oh! Boozey is back to his Birdie!”
said the brand-new wife. “Did Boozey
like his smoky woky?"
Boozey opened a bunch of grins and
sat down, while wifey patted his
cheek and cooed:
“Is urns glad to get back to urns
’ittle wifey-pifey?”
Dave Torrence and Charlie Ham
mond began to scream inwardly, with
Slim chuckling like a pet porpoise.
"Sweetie mustn’t be angry with
Petie, but Sweetie is sitting on Petie’s
'ittle hand!” said the bride, where
upon Malcolm Williams exploded, and
Slim began to grab for his breath.
A Dutch brewer and his wife sat
right ahead of Boozey and Birdie, and
every once in awhile the old hop
puncher would turn around and beam
benignly over the gold rims at the
bride.
j “Boozey must snuggy-wuggy up closer
to his Coozie and skeeze her ’itty arm
—no, no, not her waist! you naughty!
naughty!”
The brewer was back at the bride
with another gold-rimmed goo-goo,
when his wife got nervous and cut in:
• “Is id you turn your face to see
someding—yes?” she snapped, and the
foam-builder ducked to the window
and began to cat scenery.
Westerton was almost out; Burress
was under the seat sparring for wind;
Slim was giving an imitation of a coal
barge in a heavy sea, and the rest of
the passengers wore in various stages
from hiccoughs to convulsions.
| “Is Boozey comfy wjf his ’itty weeny
teeny Birdie?” chirped the bride.
“Boozey is so happy wif his izzy
wizzy!” gurgled the husband; “how’s
my ’ittle girley wirly?”
“Oh' she’s such a happy-wappy ittle
fins'” giggled the dotty dame, pinch
ing her piggie’s ear, whereupon the
irewer tried to hand the bride another
gasoline gaze, but the old Indy taugt-.
him with the goods.
“Is id to my face you go behind m
back to make googloy-goagley 'y
ad scmevun—yes?” she growled, ft ;
in a minute the brewer’.-, brow v;n
busy with the window pane.
“Swee tie looks at Petie and Sweet:
sees that Petto's p'etty face s gottiR.-;
sunburned, s-.t it is!" rueke'ted
Daffy; “and Sweetie has a dn.-.d mind
to tiss him, tool”
They opened a newspaper, crawled
under cover, and began to b.in each
other on the clttn.
“Go as far as you like!" said Slim,
then he went down and out.
The ntan who helped to make Wee
hawken famous had his head cut the
window watching for an ice-way n
and Mrs. Drew was industriously
“How’s My 'ittle Girly Wirly?”
muttering "Du bist ein Xarr! Du bist
ein Xarr!"
Just then the train pulled out and
saved our lives.
Dave, Frank, Bill, Slim, Charlie,
Malcolm, and I rushed feverishly up
to the other end of the car to cool off,
and there we landed on the outskirts
of a bunch of drummers, who were
fanning each other with fairy-tales
about the goods they sold.
“I’ll back three of the lads in that
collection to dream longer than any
other drummers on the track.
It's a pipe that they can sell bills
to each other all day and never wake
up.
A guy named Mutt Dawson was
holding forth.
He’s a most reckless spendthrift
with his words, and the meanest man
to the English language I ever
listened to.
Mutt was telling them about hypno
tizing a John Wanamaker merchant
prince in Pikesville, Ind., to the ex
tent of S2C-0 for open-work socks, farm
er’s size, and then a chap named Jack
Dean sent his balloon up by telling us
how he sold the Siegel-Coopers, of
Bugsport, la., $1100 worth of Panama
hats for horses.
The Hot Air association was in full
session when Buck .Tones caromed
over from the other end of the car
and weighed-in with us.
Buck is a sw-cller.
He thinks he strikes 12 on all occa
sions, but his clock is all to the pazaz.
Buck isn’t a drummer—nay! nay!
take back your gold!
He’ll look you straight in the eye
and tell you he's a traveling salesman
-nix on the drummer!
I think Buck sells canned shirt
waists for the Shine Brothers.
And now. Bunch, here is where 1
affix one of Uncle Sam's promises-to
carry to this document and drop it in
the little green box.
The Same Ever,
J. H.
(Copyright. 1908, by G. W. Dillingham Co.)
IRRITAELE MAN HAS A “KICK.”
Misuse of Apostrophe ar.d Quotation
Marks, Not to Mention “Kindly."
“There are two things that are mis
used a great deal,” said the irritable
man. “and the mishandling of them
annoys me a lot. For one thing, some
persons haven’t the vaguest idea of
the proper use of the apostrophe.
I’ve seen a word written this way,
'auto’s,' which is meant only to indi
cate the plural of auto. Now, there
isn’t the very slightest excuse for
that and it makes me sore every time
I see it. Then again, other folks don’t
know what to do with quotation
marks. I have seen a sign on an ele
vated station reading, ‘ “Keys” with
the “agent." ’ Now, what earthly use
are those quotation marks about the
words keys and agent? None, none at
all. There isn’t any rhyme or reason
In it.”
“Well,” replied his listener, “there’s
another as bad as that. There’s the
use of the word ‘kindly.’ You hear a
lot of folks using that atrocious vaude
ville phrase: ‘Thank you, kindly.’
That makes me sick. I saw the other
day in Brooklyn a sign, ‘Gents will
kindly not smcke.’ Only gents would
use that sort of language."
Curious Marriage Custom.
An English traveler in northern Ni
geria describes an interesting cus
tom connected with marriage which
he came across among the Fulani, a
tribe of wandering herdsmen who
show no trace of negro blood and j
are supposed to be of Asiatic origin. '
One might almost suppose that they
had advanced ideas about the relations
of the sexes. Before a man is allowed
to marry he has to stand a sound
thrashing without wincing. In some
parts of Europe this test of fitness for
the wedded state might more reason
ably be applied to the woman. One
is renvndod cf Thomas Edgeworth’s
frienr- who in selecting a bride
dropped hot sealing wax on the girl’s
arm and fired a pistol off near her
ear.
Argument.
Many a lawyer who puts up a good
argument in court fails to be convinc
ing at home.
WfflBMimgi SemE
----:—
The coat of this charming suit is developed in the plain colored side of
reversible tweed; the color being a rich dark red. The model is in Directoire
style and three-quarter length, the high, close, turn-over collar, large revers,
turn-back cuffs and pockets faced with black velvet, trimmed with loops of
black soutache braid and small cloth-covered buttons. The large buttons
which fasten the front of the coat are of black velvet. The long sleeves are
box-plaited into the armholes, and the side-back seams curving in at the waist
line give graceful lines to the slim figure. The skirt is a nine-gored plaited
model made of the plaid side of the tweed. It is one of the newest and most
st\ lisli designs and the plaits are trimmed writh small cloth-covered buttons,
matching the ones on the revers and cuffs of the coat. The lower edge is
finished with a simple hem and the model closes under an inverted box-plait
at the center-back.
AFTERNOON DRESS.
Here is a graceful design for eoli
enne in a pale biscuit shade. The
high-waisted skirt is cut with a slight
fullness in center of back, also a train,
The bodice has a yoke of tucked net,
edged with a shaped piece of dark
brown silk; filet insertion, edged with
material, forms the bretelles; it is
caught up under a buckle at the back;
a medallion is sewn at the end of each
bretelle in front, where a plaiting of
’ord joins them together. The sleeves
are slightly puffed to the elbow, they
continue to the wrist tight, and slight
ly rucked; a plaiting of chiffon is
sewn down the seams and ’round the
wrists. Tassels add to the trimming
at elbow.
Materials required: 7V6 yards 44
inches wide, 1 yard silk, 1 yard plait
ed chiffon, 2% yards insertion, 6 tas
sels, 2 medallions, 2 yards cord.
Easily Laundered Sleeves.
To lessen materially the difficulty of
ironing a shirtwaist sleeve open the
sleeve from shoulder to wrist after
Joining the under arm seam, hem the
raw edges, finish the forward lap with
lace and join the sleeve again with
button holes and tiny flat pearl but
tons.
Dainty Frills.
Some women have a fancy for plain,
sheer ruffling, and they like it better
than lace or embroidery for trimming
underwear. For such there are dainty
frillings, which come in all widths,
some of which are hemstitched, while
all are supplied with a drawing string
by which to gather them.
These are easily applied to the edge
of hems, as there are no raw edges to
be disposed of.
The trimming is quaint and reminds
one of her grandmother's linens piled
with tiny stitches and redolent of
lavender.
Soutache extends even to sash trim
mings and will be seen used as an or
nament in the heart of large rosettes
and also upon the ends of sashes in
little curves or flowers of graceful
form.
What?
A woman whose husband sometimes
jests because she spends much of her
time thinking and talking about
clothes sends word that she wonders
what 75 per cent, of the men would
have to talk or think about if there
were no such thing as baseball.
INDIAN SHAWLS AS DRAPERY.
Empire Gowns for Evening Embel
lished with Shawls.
Every woman who possesses among
her treasures a large white Indian
shawl—embroidered and fringed—has
an evening dress ready to her hand,
and no dressmaker needed. She has
but to have a scant empire dress of
white silk or satin, decollete and
sleeveless, or, perhaps, with a tiny
edge of lace which forms a four-inch
deep sleeve. Then taking the shawl
and folding it in triangular shape,
leaving one point a few inches longer
than the other, place it across the
bust under the arms, with the point
coming in the front center of the
skirt, cross the ends in the back and
bring one over each shoulder, attach
ing it on either side just at the arm
pits, letting the points fall front. With
three artistic brooches or rhinestone
pins, or cameos (which are better
still)—one on either side in front and
one in the back—one has the most ar
tistic kind of dress for this year’s
fashion. It goes without saying that
the shawl must be drawn as tight as
will allow one to step to be really
smart. Naturally heelless satin slip
pers with ribbons about the ankles
should be worn with a dress like (his,
and no gloves, and the hair should be
dressed simply so as to show the
shape of the head.
Pillows from Coverlets.
If one has an old-fashioned coverlet
in rich blue and white, such as our
grandmothers used on their beds, they
can be made over into charming sofa
pillows.
While few women would be willing
to cut up a good spread for this pur
pose, it is a happy solution for the
coverlet that is worn in places.
Not only do they make attractive
pillow slips, but if they are made to
button on, they can be laundered re
peatedly and will wear for years.
There are now to be found many
cheap, modern spreads in imitation of
the old-time quilts. These one need
have no hesitation about cutting into
all sized pillows.
Lace Curtains.
Cut off the lower scalloped edge of
your lace curtain around the turn and
lay it on the net above, where it is
worn out ‘‘from the sun and dust strik
ing it,” then finish cutting. Baste and
sew to the good part by machine, cut
all the old net away and you have a
good pair of curtains reaching to the
window sills.
Comfort for the Baby.
The careful mother, who always
wishes her baby to be dainty and
clean, will be delighted to hear that
very inexpensive and comfortable
coach and crib covers may be made
of cotton batting sewed between two
thicknesses of ordinary white cheese
cloth and quilted by machine stitching.
This forms the foundation. The outer
cover may be of two thicknesses of !
pique or bunting made just like a bag,
with both, sides and one end sewed
up. The comforter is then slipped in
to the outer cover, and to hold it in
place a bow of ribbon may be fastened
at each corner by little safety pins.
This is all the finishing the comfort
er requires, and it is so easy to re
move the outer cover and wash it
when it becomes soiled. What a sav
ing of time and trouble this new idea
is!
Whatever the gown, the accesso
ries must be in tone with it.
Baby’s head dress this winter is the
old fashioned poke bonnet.
For dress wear shiny leather shoes
are still predominant.
TWO GREFF1 MOUNTAIN STAVE SILOS AT TUT DAIRY
FARM. IOWA STATE COLLEGE
The silo may be made an ornament
to any group of farm buildings. Its form
is such that it may be made to add to
the appearance of any style of con
struction. Ons or more conical silo
roofs when viewed from a distance
or the full height of the curved walls
at a closer range, gives a very pleas
ing effect when placed in a setting of
rectangular buildings. This irnpres
sion is entirely independent of the
great value of silage as a feed and
is pleasing to such a degree that
a prospective purchaser, in making a
close decision, would be influenced
to a far greater extent than the origi
nal cost of the silo.
In our illustration is a view of the
new dairy barn at Iowa State college
showing two stave silos and the man
ner in which they add to the appear
ance of the adjoining buildings.
Of the silos reported by their own
ers or visited. 135 were located out
side of the barn and 26 inside. Those
located inside of a building were large
ly 4-f a type not well adapted to be
placed outside. These reports indi
cate that a location of the silo outside
of all buildings meets with greater
favor among those using silos. There
are good reasons for this. First, the
silo, with the exception of a few types,
is of such a construction that it does
not need the protection of a covered
building. Second, it is not economical
to place a silo in a building where it
will occupy space which may be put
to other use. Third, a silo located in
side of a building is often unhandy
to fill. The forage cannot be deliv
ered to the cutter conveniently.
Fourth, by locating a silo outside of
the building and only connecting it
thereto with a passage provided with
doors, the objectionable odor of the
silage may be kept out of the build
ing. By arranging the silo so as to be
connected to the feeding room with a
feed way, it should be as convenient
for feeding as when located in the
building itself. A very common ar
rangement is to so locate the silo that
Fig. 1. Plan of the Silos Showing a
Convenient Arrangement.
the passage way from silo to barn is a
continuation of the feed way in the
barn. In general, it seems that there
are few advantages in building a silo
inside of a building and many in
building it outside. There are types
of barns, the large round barn, for in
stance, which are of a form making
it impossible for a silo to be con
veniently located at the center.
The fundamental principle in the
preservation of green forage when
placed in a silo is the exclusion of air.
It is the ij^iose of any silo regardless
of Its construction to exclude air as
far as possible from the silage and in
this way prevent decay. To prevent
the air from reaching the silage all
silos must have air tight walls. These
must be rigid enough not to be sprung
out of shape by the pressure of the
silage, permitting air to enter next to
the wall. Not only the walls but the
doors also, must be perfectly air tight.
To accomplish this they should be
well fitted and the joints made more
perfect by felt pads or gaskets. It is
good practice where the silo door sets
against a shoulder, to place clay
worked into the consistency of putty
in the joint. The clay is placed on
the bearing surface and the door
placed over it and when the pressure
of the silage comes against the door
an air tight joint is obtained. Tar
paper is successfully used by some
silo owners either in strips to cover
the cracks around the doors or in
widths sufficient to cover the entire
door and lap a few inches on the silo
walls.
Not only should the walls be tight
and rigid, but they should be perfectly
smooth on the inside to permit the
silage to settle without forming air
pockets, which cause a certain amount
of the adjoining silage to rot. Several
foundation walls were found con
structed as shown at the left of Fig.
2, and In each case a considerable
amount of spoiled silage was found at
the shoulder made by the wall. The
foundation wall, and in fact the walls
of the entire silo, should be as smooth
as possible. If due care is used in
Fig. 2. Correct and Incorrect Methods
of Constructing Silo Foundations.
tramping the silage during the filling,
doers which extend into the silo are
not a serious objection, though per
fectly flush doors are certainly an ad
vantage. A vertical wall is the only
satisfactory wall to use, as a wall in
clined outward will support the silage
to a certain extent and prevent its
settling satisfactorily, thus creating
air pockets. When the wall is in
clined inward the silage will settle
away from it. In the case of con
crete silos with tapered walls, these
should be vertical on the inside.
Best results are obtained where the
silage is uniformly distributed
throughout the silo and is carefully
packed near the walls and around the
doors by tramping. Care should be
taken that the heavy and light por
tions shall be uniformly mixed. Some
silo owners are of the opinion that a
great amount of tramping is unneces
sary, but the investigations of the
writers would indicate that where
tramping was not followed there was
always a certain amount of spoiled
silage and that the money spent for
labor used in thoroughly tramping the
silage in the silo when filled brought
good returns.
It is desirable to prevent the freez
ing of silage in the silo during cold
weather as far as possible and the
silo of a construction to prevent freez
ing to the largest degree is the prefer
able one, other things being equal. It
is difficult to make a comparison be
tween the merits of the various types
of silos in this respect owing to the
inability to find them under like con
ditions. Freezing of silage is due to
loss of heat: first, through the silo
wall; and second, to the air in contact
with the feeding surface. The first
loss may be reduced by using a non
conducting wall in the silo and the
second by preventing the circulation
of air above the silage in the silo.
DAIRY IMPROVEMENT.
It is impossible to build up and
maintain a dairy herd except through
discriminating selection, and this can
only be attained where careful rec
ords are kept and a high standard
of excellence sought.
The keeping of records need not
be a costly undertaking. Weighing
the milk twice a week, testing the
herd by means of the Babcock test,
and adjusting the ration according to
the amount of milk given by the cow,
will insure the owners obtaining larg
er returns, effecting a great sav
ing in the cost of foodstuffs, and
increasing the average productive
capacity of his herd through the
elimination of unprofitable animals.
Records enable the dairyman to de
termine the kind and amount of food
required for a herd, says Farm and
Home, and he can thus plan out his
crop rotations to the best advantage
and determine what is the best form
of concentrates to purchase for bal
ancing up his rations.
An Automatic Clieese Press
w
This form of cheese press maintainsoverhead. The 140-pound weight is
a constant pressure for any desired sufficient to keep the screw pressed *
length of time by means of a rope up to the cheeoe. A clcso cheese is
wrapped around a pulley at the endobtained free from any mechanical
and over a small pulley on a beamopenings.
PERFECT HEALTH.
After Years of Backache, Dizziness
and Kidney Disorders.
Mrs. R. C. Richmond, of Northwood,
Iowa, says: “For years I was a
martyr to kidney
trouble, backache,
dizzy spells, head
aches and a ter
rible bearing-down
pain. I used one
remedy after an
other without bene
fit. Finally I used
a box of Doan's
I xv.uuey nils and the backache ceased
I Encouraged, I kept on, and by the
time I had used three boxes not a
sign of the trouble remained. My
health is perfect.”
Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
TOO MUCH FOR YANKEE.
English Munchausen Had Shade the
Better of Fellow Romancer.
The Cape Cod man and the Lon
doner were traveling on the same
train together from Liverpool to the
capital.
"Yes,” said the Yankee, “we do
have consid'rable fog out our way.
I’ve seen it so thick that the land
ladies of our summer boardin’ houses
could ladle it out and use it instead
o’ whipped egg for the heavy part of
the floatin’ island.”
e ’ave ’em, too. in London,” said
his traveling companion, “but our
climate is too dirty to permit of our
eatin’ it. We burn so much soft coal,
you see, the fog gets packed full of
soot. The only thing we really can do
with it is to cut it up into blocks and a
use it instead of peat when we want
a quick fire.”
And the Yankee took out the little
American flag he wore in his button
hole and put it away in his wallet.—
Judge.
BOY KEPT SCRATCHING.
Eczema Lasted 7 Years—Face Was All
Raw—Skin specialists Failed, But
Cuticura Effected Cure.
“When my little boy was six weeks
old an eruption broke out on his face.
I took him to a doctor, but his face
kept on getting worse until it got so
bad that no one could look at him.
His whole face was one crust and
must have been very painful. He
scratched day and night until his face
was raw. Then I took him to all the
best specialists in skin diseases but
they could not do much for him. The
eczema got on his arms and legs and
we could not get a night’s sleep in
months. I got a set of Cuticura Reme
dies and he felt relieved the first time
| I used them. I gave the Cuticura
Remedies a good trial and gradually
the eczema healed all up. He is now
seven years old and I think the trou
ble will never return. Mrs. John G.
Klumpp, 80 Niagara St., Newark, N.
I J., Oct. 17 and 22, 1907.”
AFTER THE SHOT.
Robbie Rabbit—Never in ail my life
has such shocking language been used
in my presence as that boy has used
n the last three minutes. Ooob!
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
ble can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
Would Risk One More Bottle.
A Frenchman from the provinces
who was paying a prolonged visit to
Paris found his hair was leaving him
at the top of his head, and took his
barber to task about it. “You sold me
two bottles of stuff to make the hair
grow.” “It is very strange it won't
grow again,” said the modern Figaro;
‘I can’t understand it." "Look here!” A
said the countryman. “I don’t mind
drinking another bottle, but this must
be the last!”—Philadelphia inquirer.
By the Hurricane Route.
“He’s long wanted to leave the coun*
try,” says a Billville exchange, “but he
never could afford the railroad fare,
but just as he had given up ail hope
a hurricane came along and gave him
and his house free transportation. It
was providential and he pulled
through at last.”—Atlanta Constitu
tion.
Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Bears the
Signature ofL£iaSe&r7<
In Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
Succeeded in His Purpose.
Tom—I ate some of the cake she J
made just to make myself solid.
Dick—Did yoti succeed?
Tom—I couldn’t feel any more solid
if I had eaten concrete or building
stone—Utica Herald.
Couldn't Disprove It by Her.
‘‘They say there’s nothing new un
der the sun,” mused the poet, sadly. ^
“Well,” replied his wife in a tone »
equally as melancholy, "you can’t dis- '*•
prove the adage by my wardrobe.”
It the energy tha» women expend In
making fools of men could be concen
trated—but what’a the ufe of speculat
ing with impossible problems?
