* • ' " -• ' -- *V - ‘ •
ory
THE
—
BY GEO. V. HOBART, (“HUGH M'HL'GH ”)
Dear Punch: The other evening
when we gave an onion sacngerfest
you remember our lives were saved
from too much vocal fireworks by the
announcement that chow was ready.
We waltzed in and took our stalls
with hearts full of thanksgiving.
And here’s where old Dr. Guffhand
er, the food expert, stopped into the
spot light and took the show away
from everybody.
You know, Punch, the Doc is one
of those old guys with a license to
hunt for germs, and everything he eats
has to give the countersign and then
go through a written examination.
He loves to display his scientific
knowledge and throw Latin crimps
into the low foreheads.
Uncle Peter believes every word
that leaves Doc Guffhander’s face, but
for my part I think he's an old Cam
embert.
Well, Bunch, no sooner were we
seated at the table than Doc parted
his whiskers carefully, coughed to at
“Have a Lemon," Said Stub.
tract attention, then picked up a
tittle neck clam on the end of his fork
and proceeded to give it the third
degree.
"The adulteration of foodstuffs
these days is being carried on to an
extent worse than criminal,” the old
fluff began, solemnly. “Ah, even here
i see traces of saliysillic acid with
borax-phosphos, even here on this
clam.”
“Put a little tabasco on it and cut
loose,” suggested Bud Hawley.
“Have a lemon," said Stub. “Squeeze
it over the clams and make a wish."
Uncle Peter and Uncle Gregory, the
latter refreshed and made happy by
his noisy nap, were the only ones at
ihe table who seemed to take the doc
tor seriously.
Uncle Peter listened with marked
attention, while Uncle Gregory
glanced at his clams and shuddered.
The doctor ate his unconcernedly.
When the soup came on the Doc
lifted a spoonful thoughtfully, then
sloshed it slowly back in his plate,
while the two old unkies eyed him
nervously.
' It's bullyon.” whispered Uncle
Peter, anxious to prove the soup's in
nocence.
“Booyon," corrected Aunt Martha in
a stage whisper to Uncle Pete.
“Here," said the doctor, examining
the spoonful critically, “here are
traces of hydrophosphates and about
ten per cent, philharmonic acid.”
“I never eat soup." gurgled Uncle
Greg., “because it'3 a waste of good
space.”
The doctor said nothing more, but
quietly surrounded his soup.
When the fish was served the doc
“But We Can Never Be Sure.”
tor danced over his plate with his fork,
and said: “Hydrostatic acid with here
and there symptoms of manganese
germs, and a few sulphide microbes.”
Uncle Gregory pushed his plate
back with a sigh that was pitiful to
bear.
Peaches was now so nervous that
her hands were doing a shaker duet,
and there was a bright spot on each
cheek.
The others at the table, with the
exception of nervous old Uncle Greg
ory, paid not the slightest attention to
Dr. Busyface.
Even Uncle Peter threw away his
germ fear after the clam episode, and
took a long chance with everything
from soup to nuts.
Next we had some chicken a la
Maryland, with French-fried potatoes,
green peas and asparagus tips.
When Uncle Gregory saw all this
his face broke out in a smile, and we
could see his appetite roll up Us
sleeves.
“In this," the doctor began again,
holding up a chicken wing on his
fork, “in this we have a cold storage
hen which has been treated with ox
alic acid and chloride of potassium to
beep it in a shivering state.”
“Pardon me, doctor,” exclaimed
Peaches, indignantly, “but ft isn’t a
cold storage chicken, because I bought
it from Mrs. Riley only this morning.”
“Possibly," went on Caterpillar
Charlie, “possibly my hurried diag
nosis was at fault, but we can never
be sure about these things, because
here, on the elbow of the wing, I And
traces of calisthenic acid over the
membranes.”
"No, thank you.” said Uncle Greg
ory, “I never eat chicken, It gives me
the heartburn,” and the poor old guy
struck such a note of hunger that 1
wanted to throw that damdoctor out
of the window.
By this time several others at the
table were becoming more or less Im
pressed. and the dinner party was be
ginning to assume the cheerful aspect
of a meeting of martyrs an hour be
fore the arena.opened.
“Please pass me some French-fried
potatoes,” whispered Gregory, after
the pangs of hunger had eaten him ti
the ropes.
“Here we find,” croaked the doctor,
raising a sliver of potato high on his
fork, “here we find one of the most
evil effects of food adulteration. This
potato was grown in the fall of the
year 1889, but it has been washed in
alum water to give it the appearance
of being modern, while its eyes have
been treated with belladonna to make
them bright and snappy.”
Uncle Gregory groaned pathetically,
and the rest of us, out of politeness,
tried to look interested, but only suc
ceeded in locking seasick.
When the ice cream and cake were
brought on Dr. Guffhander drove his
spoon down deep into the chocolate
and vanilla mixed, and said: “Here Is
a pitiful illustration of what dishonest
tradesmen will do for money. Here
we find that some of this ice cream
was pale originally, but it was treat
ed with aniline dye to give it this
chocolate effect, and then baked in
the sun to deceive the eye. On the
other hand, we find this vanilla was
originally dark and forbidding, but it
has been treated with peroxide of hy
drogen to make it more of a blonde."
“Pardon me, doctor.” snapped
Peaches, her teeth chattering with
nervousness, “but this ice cream was
male in our own kitchen by Dora, our
own cook, with cream from Mrs.
Riley’s own cow, and we never have
any but home-made ice cream, so
there!”
“Ah,” said the doctor, “then in that
case it must be traces of thanatopsis
which I see, and the evidence is con
clusive that a great deal of artificial
frappe has been used, nevertheless.”
“No, thank you,” said Uncle Greg
ory, "I never eat ice cream, because
it goes to my head and makes rae cold
to my friends.”
“Take this coffee, for instance,”
chortled the doctor, juggling a spoon
“I Never Eat Ice Cream.”
ful with the loft hand and four lumps
of sugar with the right; “herein you
will find copper salts, iodide of chic
ory. a four per cent, solution of gladi
olus. together with about a sixteenth
of a grain of mocha to the cupful.”
“No, thank you,” gasped Uncle Greg
ory; "I never d.ink coffee; it gives me
| the hiccups.”
After the dinner was over Uncle
Gregory took me outside and whis
pered: “John, for the love of a bliss
ful heaven, the next time you give a
dinner party cut out that hug doctor,
or let me wear ear-muffs!”
Peaches hasn't spoken a sensible
word since that bitter evening.
Can you blame her?
Yours till the wheels fall off,
JOHN.
(Copyright, 190S, by G. W. Dillingham Co.)
Hair and Heredity.
Ge-trude and Charles Davenport,
connected with the Carnegie institu
tion’s station at Cold Spring Harbor,
N. Y., writing in the American Nat
uralist of the results of their observa
tions on the “Heredity of Hair Form
in Man,” say it is now possible to pre
dict from the hair of parents the form
of their children’s hair, whether
straight, wavy, curly or frizzy. They
find that the following rules are al
most invariable: “Two blue-eyed,
straight-haired parents will have only
blue-eyed, straight-haired children.
Two wavy-haired parents may have
straight, wavy or curly-haired chil
dren, but the chances of curly hair are
slight. Two curly-haired parents, may
have children with either straight
wavy or curly hair, and the propor
tion of curly-haired offspring will prob
ably be large."
Installing Relics of Logan.
Mrs. John A. Logan has begun the
work of supervising the installation of
the relics of her husband, Gen. Logan,
in the memorial hall prepared for
them in the state house at Springfield,
111. The collection consists in part of
a large number of photographs taken
during the civil war, photographs of
Gen. Logan from boyhood up, bronzes
and resolutions passed by organiza
tions all over the United States at the
time of his death, and resolutions on
the death of his son, Maj. John A.
Logan, Jr., Thirty-third United States
Volunteers, who was killed on Novem
ber 11, 1899, while leading a charge
against Aguinaldo’s intrenched army
in tlie Philippines.
Leads to “Open Sunday.”
French communication seems to be
corrupting the British Sabbath. The
Sunday society has pleaded the in
creasing number of visitors—“entente
cordiallists”—from across the channel
unaccustomed to such severe observ
ance, as a reason for opening more
galleries and museums on Sundays.
The request has been granted with a
special view probably to the French
invasion which is expected during the
Franco-Brltish exhibition this summer.
A distinguished French journalist ex
presses a hope that other places be
thrown open—restaurants, for in
stance
tty lies Dim SftndDe
J> SPIDER cl
SSUPPER j
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pWELLESLEYt
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IF YOU wish to be in the ranks
of the fashionable, you must wear
shoes which match your gown. So
say the authorities in whose hands
lies the awful power of dictating what
women shall wear. They do not. deign
to give good reasons, for so autocratic
is their power that they can command
obedience in a manner more absolute
than can the czar of Russia.
The prevailing color is to be green,
and to meet the mode shoe manufac
turers have put forth a green suede
shoe to match the gowns. There fs a
groat variety in this article, and one
of the most fashionable styles consists
of what is known as the sheath boot.
This is nothing more than the old
fashioned ten strapped sandal. In
stead, however, of having straps the
shoe is made like an ordinary Napo
leon boot, but the tops are cut in a
sort of diamond pattern and therefore
show a good deal of open work. The
buttons are run right down the front
of the shoe and afford the button man
ufacturer an opportunity to do some
fancy ornamenting on the buttons.
Incidentally all the diamonds cut in
the of the top of the shoe are finished
in embroidery.
The most decided change in the new
shoe will be the edge trimming. In
stead of having the edges trimmed
close there is to be considerable
leather on the outside of the shoe.
With the moderate shaped toe now in
use by the manufacturers of lasts it is
claimed that a wide seamed sole is
necessary to bring out the good points
of the shoe. It is further said that
full soles across the ball of the shoe
prevent it from losing its shape.
One of the most artistic designs
which has been put out consists of a
cross strapped slipper buckling close
to the instep. Three frogs decoratd
the shoe under the straps. The toe is
pointed sharply and ornamented witli
a buckle. The heel is higher than had
been fashionable with the summei
shoes, allowing a decided arch to the
instep.
For those who desire a high shoe
the Vassar boot should meet all re
quirements. These goods are being
put out in bronze or soft black kid and
in colors to match the fashionable
shades in gowns, which are dull blue,
wistaria, bronze and the new shade
which is popularly known as sand
color, having derived the name from
its resemblance to the sand on a
beach when the sun shines on it.
This shade is one of the most beauti
ful in vogue for some time and is sure
to be popular in shoes and gowns.
This shoe, which is distinctly indi
vidualistic, has 11 straps, the series
culminating with a bow at the top of
the shoe. The high Louis XV. heel is
in general the style, but it is being
manufactured also with the Cuban
heel, which has made such headway
lately.
The most noticeable tendency in
modern footgear is towards an in
crease in ornamentation on the toe
cap. The spider slipper represents an
extreme in this respect. These goods
made of suede or kid, are heavily
beaded and fasten with three straps oi
extremely ornamental pattern. The
shoe is made with the Louis XV. heel
and a long and slender last. It is de
clared by the authorities that shoes
of this style will be highly popular
during the winter in spite of the fact
that the protection that they afford
the foot is extremely small.
DRESSING JACKET OF MUSLIN.
Ribbons and Embroidery Help to Elab
orate the Garment.
For a useful dressing jacket nothing
is better than white spotted muslin, as
it washes so beautifully. This has a
V-shaped yoke, edged with button
holed embroidery to thread ribbon
through; the material is gathered at
» - »
the top and set to yoke under the em
broidery: puffed sleeve gathered into
a band of embroidery, through which
ribbon is threaded, with a frill of mus
lin, trimmed with insertion and lace.
Materials required: Four and one
half yards muslin 30 inches wide, two
yards buttonholed embroidery, one
yard narrow lace, IV2 yards wide lace,
one yard insertion, three yards rib
bon.
A New Shade.
The new color, manille, much seen
in Paris in model hats and gowns, is
a very dark brownish taupe and was
seen the past summer on several hats
designed by certain Parisian mil
liners.
It is an especially becoming shade to
almost every woman, especially to
those past the bloom of youth, and.
lightened by brighter tints, it will do
quite as well for the still youthful
woman.
There are some astonishing color
combinations in evening frocks being
shown. An example is of royal blue
over green, a.nd that of a vivid shade,
the blue being tulle and the satin
green. Pale but clear green trimmed
with a clear, bright mauve is also of
fered.
Make Stockings Last.
When buying- boys’ stockings, pur
chase as long as can be had. Before
wearing, sew a neat tuck around the
ankle. When the stockinng Is worn at
the knee let out the tuck and the worn
part will be raised so as to be covered
by the trousers, and the stocking will
be as good as new.
BEAUTY IN THE EXPRESSION.
Kindliness and Good Nature Redeem
the Plainest Features.
One of the fust things that the girl
who is seeking for beauty must think
about is her expression. You will no
tice I he plain gir! whose face is "sc
expressive." when you would never
even see the girl whose features wer«
beautiful, but whose face lacked ex
pression. Every one enjoys looking
upon a young girl whose bright, laugh
ing eyes light up her already cheerful
smiling face. When you meet such a
girl as this your mouth forms a smile
in spite of you. But when you meet
the woman who is always whining or
the one whose imaginary ills bore you
to death, then how do you feel? Yoi
become irritable and cross, and you
wish you never had met her.
Imagine then your effect upon other
people, and if you feel that it is not
as pleasant as it might be make it sc I
at once. Good nature is an ideal beau
tifier. It brightens your eyes, dis
courages approaching wrinkles, and
brings tints of the rose into your
cheeks, while a cross disposition
makes your eyes fretful and surround
ed by crow's feet, and your mouth
droops at the corners and makes you
look years older.
Velvet Empire Belts.
Dead white cloth, chiffon cloth and
silk will be used this winter for elab
orate indoor garments. To give these
color a wide, soft belt of velvet is to
be added. The effect is quite vivid.
The smart women in Paris have beer,
wearing these belts constantly at the
races during the last few weeks, and
there seems little doubt that the fash
ion will be taken up here.
It is about four inches wide, Is not
folded, but left quite plain. It may
be of ribbon or of shaped velvet in the
piece. It is put around the figure just
below the bust and simply hooked at
the back or front under a flap.
Green Hats for Girls.
The olive green hats that have
topped the heads of young men the
first few days of fall have been taken
up with enthusiasm by young girls.
Some of these have the pheasant's
wing in the front just as it is worn in
the Alps. The hat is used by girls for
school wear in the same rakish way
of the summer panama.
It looks very well with the first fall
coat suit, and is far more becoming
than the stiff or the floppy Corday.
Comfort in Winter Fashions.
There is a gleam of comfort in fash
ions for the winter as they are appear
ing now. Hats—that is to say, some
of them—will be by no means difficult
or expensive to duplicate. Fortunately
for those whose purses are limited,
there is one pronounced mode in wdiich
the shapes are all simply covered
with satin and have only a wing or an
aigrette for trimming. Any little mil
liner can cover one of the frames, and
it requires no experience to attach the
feather.
Figures and Stripes.
Figures and stripes are predominant
for short skirt walking costumes.
SUGGESTIONS FOR
PIGGERY FOR FARM
By a Canadian Expert.
The plan herewith illustrates a Rood
Idea for a hog building about 50x16
feet. It is not given as being ideal,
since no plan could possibly be the
best for every feeder. It includes
several ideas which could be incorpor
ated into almost any plan of a pig
gery.
A frequently neglected feature in
building piggeries is the providing
of convenient passages for cleaning.
pens when at right angles to the pas
sage and serve to confine pigs in the
bed space when parallel to the pas
sage.
When D. D. D. are all parallel to
the passage, a truck or barrow may be
run along FL. and the pens easily
cleaned. Tr. Tr. Tr. are troughs made
of cement or good hard wood. Dr. Dr.
Dr. are doors opening into the yards.
K. K. K. are posts against which D. D.
Plan of Piggery.
bedding and moving pigs from pen to
pen. A study of this floor plan will
show that this important feature is
not neglected.
The building may, of course, be of
any length to accommodate from 20
to 100 pigs or more. Two rows of
pens flank the passage, one on either
side. Doors, two feet wide, open off
the passage into each pen. The feed
ing is done from the passage. The
pens are 10 feet front and 12 feet
deep, being large enough for four to
eight animals, according to size. In
the plan FL. FL. FL. are feeding
floors 6x10. L. L. L. are low partitions
separating the beds from feeding
floors. D. D. D., large swinging doors
or rather partitions, 6 feet long and 4
feet high, serve as partitions between
D. close. F. F. are farrowing pens
properly fitted with a board about 8
inches wide placed flat horizontally
about S inches from the floor along
the wall to which it should be firmly
attached. In the feed room C. is the
feed cooker. B. B. B. are bins for feed.
P. root pulper; T. trap door to root
cellar; P. P. p. are doors from pens
to passage. The yards extend out
on either side. The manner of ar
ranging the pens on one side of the
passage shows how the other side may
be laid out. At the end are large,
roomy, winter quarters for sows. It is
a great mistake to house sows in the
small ordinary pen.
Sows need roomy quarters and this
building provides that—Hoard's Dairy
man.
SCIENTIFIC FEEDING
OF SWINE
Feeding hogs is a subject in which
every farmer and breeder is or should
be deeply interested. It is of univer
sal importance; and I only wish I
could go into it deeply and in a
way that woirid interest you men
here.
Starting with the new-born pig, it
requires practice and skill to feed the
mother so that she will bring her litter
out without scouring them. When this
is done the first great danger is over.
To do this she should be fed lightly
and systematically. The same man
should feed and care for her that fed
her previous to farrowing. He should
have his work well planned, and good
judgment should direct his move
ments. Many writers advocate the
use of a strictly milk-producing ra
tion, but experience has shown that
this is wrong. The flow of milk at
this time is naturally greater than the
pigs will take in the majority of cases.
For this reason a light feed of corn
and oats is better for the sow and pigs
both. In the course of a week the
ration should be gradually changed to
a slop of shorts, and this increased
until the ration consists of one-half of
such feeds.
At the age of three weeks the pigs
will commence eating and they should
be encouraged by the use of a creep.
The feed should consist of a slop of
some good mill feeds. From the time
the pigs commence eating the expense
of feeding gradually increases, and
with it the value of the pig increases
if he is doing well and is properly fed.
It is not my purpose to propound
the balanced ration, fact or theory.
However, the purpose or final end
of the feeding operation is to
produce a hog with strong bony
framework and a development of mus
cle of such an extent that all the vital
organs such as the lungs, heart, di
gestive and reproducive organs will
be as perfect as possible when the hog
is matured. To do this, the scientific,
or, as I would rather call it, the sys
tematic way of feeding must come into
operation. Feeds high in protein and
ash must be used or the development
will not be so complete as it otherwise
would. Any of the following feeds
may be used: Wheat, wheat sorts,
middlings, oil meal, oat shorts, pack
ing house by-products, alfalfa and
clover pastures. The ration should
consist for the most part of one or
a combination of these feeds. Every
man has an idea of what combination
he thinks best.
The feeding of correctives, tonics,
and wrorm powders is at present ad
vocated by a great many men, and it
is all right, but these are found on all
farms, with the exception of the
worm exterminator, in the form of
corn cob charcoal and grass. As a
worm exterminator I have found five
grains of santonin and three grains
of calomel to each 80 pounds of hog
to be the cheapest and most ef
fective. However, considerable care
is needed to feed such a powder, as
only ten head should be treated at a
time and the powder thoroughly mixed
through the slop.
Xo feeder, be he ever so careful and
patient, can be successful in his oper
ations if the conditions surrounding
his hogs are not sanitary and clean.
Slacked lime and coal tar dip and
crude oil should be used freely, but
not extravagantly, by every hog man.
Lime and dip are good disinfectants,
! and will keep down disease, while the
crude oil is the cheapest and most ef
fective louse k: ler I have ever tried.
J. H. ASHBY, Iowa.
FARM GATE THAT IS
AJUSTABLE.
A heavy gate is very apt to sag
even if carefully constructed and fair
ly well braced. A good plan is to make
an adjustable brace like that shown in '
the illustration. The post, B, is mor
tised into the sill, A, firmly and braced
Keeps Sag Out of the Gate.
at the sides with the strips, C. A sub
stantial pole, D, is pinned to the top
of the gate post and is also connected
with the post by the adjustable brace,
E, E being fastened to the pole, D, by
pins through the holes in E. When
the gate sags lift the pole, D, and ad
just the brace, E, to another of the
holes, thus taking up the sag.
Hay and Grass.—Hay sustains a
working horse better, but a little grass
now and then is an excellent regulator.
Poultry House for the Farm
The accompanying illustration of *
poultry house is largely self-explana
tory. Both a window and curtain
front is provided. The window slides
back and in place of it a cotton screen
can be let down to fill the opening.
The pens are built 12x13 feet, and the
coop is placed beneath the propping
board. Rough boards are used for
sheeting together with tar paper and
cheap shingles. The inside may be
plastered.
EY WAY OF COMPAE'OCN.
Youngster’s First Efforts in the R-alr,i
of Natural History.
Four-year-old Clyde was a preco
cious youngster—very talkative and a
close observer. He and his father were
strolling through the meadows one
morning when Clyde observe^, for the
first time, some tadpoles in a pond.
He waded in and cried out in delight:
‘‘Oh, father, what are they?"
‘Tadpoles, son," the father replied.
‘‘Please, father, let’s take them all
home with us, then come back and
l find the mamma and papa, and we'll
| have the whole family in our pond at
| home."
The father explained how impossi
ble this wocld be, and as he walked on
a few steps a large ugly frog hopped
across their path. Clydes father said:
‘ Look, sou, perhaps there is the papa
Clyde was very thoughtful. He
looked at the frog, then at his father,
then at himself and exclaimed:
“Well, father, was there ever so
much difference between me and
you?”
EXPERT.
Doc Ahem—You seem to cough
with considerable difficulty this morn
ing.
Patient—That’s very strange. I've
been practicing all night!
Naming the Culprit.
A member of the flock was nodding
with closed eyes during the sermon
The preacher said:
“I think mebbe some membah has
been up too late durin’ the ebenln' pre
cedin’. He better set up or I’ll name
him.”
Failing to accomplish the desired
result the preacher soon stopped his
sermon again. Shaking his Anger at
the culprit, he shouted:
“Jim Shepherd, dis is de secon
time I stops to wake yo’ up! If I have
to stop a third time I'll expose yo' by
name to de whole congregashun!”
Woman Chosen City Alderman.
Mrs. H. J. Gates has just been elect
ed one of the six aldermen of Magee,
Tenn. For several years she has
taken an active interest in the educa
tional work of her town and wanted
to be elected alderman because it
would help her in this work. She is
reported to have made about the most
aggressive campaign ever witnessed in
Magee, if not in Tennessee. The town
people seemed pleased with her elec
tion, and even those who voted against
her believe she will make a first-class
alderman.
Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, it is usually neces
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou
ble can be entirely overcome by usiug
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
Up-to-Date.
A little girl six years old gave an
afternoon tea to some of her friends,
and she washed to make It as perfect
a reproduction of those given by her
mother as was possible.
“What shall you give your friends
to eat?" asked the same mother.
“I don’t know,” replied the embryo
aesthete, “unless I give them pink tis
sue paper and cambric tea. Uncle
Tom says that’s the most fashionable
tbing.”
With a smooth Iron and Defiance
Starch, you can launder your shirt
waist just as well at home as the
steam laundry can: it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
iron.
All the Difference.
Mini—George says that my beauty
intoxicates him.
Elsie—I heard that he said you were
enough to drive a man to drink.—
Journal Amusant.
Omaha Directory
I I
i
dealers in everything for
» Gentleman's table, including Fine Im- 1
ported Table Delicacies. If there is any
little item you ar® unable to obtain in your Home Town,
writs us for prices on same, as we will be sure to have it.
Mail orde*** carefully filled.
IMPORTERS >NP PEELERS IN
PURE FOOD PRODUCTS
AND TABLE DELICACIES
"“"■•"“18SSM2&
COURTNEY & CO.. Omaha. Nebr.
Furs"™.'?'
Aulabaugh's complete
8 catalogue will show
” you what you want.
G. N. AULABAUGH
Dent. M. 1508 Douglas St., OMAHA.
s) TAFT'S DENTAL ROOMS
1517 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB.
Reliable Dentistry at Modaraie Prices
RUBBER GOODS
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MYER8-DILLON DRUG OO., OMAHA. NEBR.