JOHN HENRY Jk ON WOMEN AND POKER GY GEO. V. HOBART, ("HUGH M'HUGH”) Dear Bunch: Say, Bunch, I don't think women have any business play ing poker, anyway—that is most women. There are a few cheerful exceptions, • of course. Take Monday evening for example. George Riggaby dealt, and I being next, passed. Then we waited while Maude said to Peaches, “Oh! yes, I think a bodice trimmed with moire antique and with white chiffon over the cor sage is perfectly stunning, but 1 want to get a house dress of green silk with lace insertion—oh. did you see Mrs. Wilson's new automobile coat? If she isn't a perfect fright; well, I hope—” “Pass! Pass! Pass!” I yelled. Then Mrs. Lorrenz, paying no at tention to us, unburdened herself to Peaches: “And do you know, our new cook lost one of my handsome silver spoons that's been in our family for generations, and I didn’t dare say any thing to her about it, because she'd leave, and I know what trouble I had last time finding a cook. But a hand some silver spoon—” "What do you do?” I shrieked at Peaches, who sat next to me. “What do I do? What do you mean? What do 1 do!” “Do you pass, or do you open it?" “Oh! I pass. You needn't yell so, I'm sure. Do you know. Mrs. Lorrenz, the same thing happened to us, only ours was a fork; yes, a silver fork, sne of a set that Aunt Martha gave us for a wedding present, and don't you know, when—” Then all of a sudden Maude yelled. “Oh, I open it. No, I don’t—I thought I had an ace—darnaluck!" Whereupon Mrs. Lorrenz laid her hand down and began to count her chips, declaring that a white one was missing. After looking over the table and un der the table and on the mantelpiece and all around the room, she finally found the white chip under the hand she had laid down. When peace was restored George Riggaby said, "I’ll open it for ten!" Whereupon Mrs. Lorrenz screamed. "No, you won't. I'll open it for five!” “But you said you passed.” "I didn't!” “Pardon, me, I thought you did!” “Pardon, me, I thought I didn't!” “Cards?" asked George, resignedly. “Gi'me three.” I said. “Three,” said Peaches. “No, two, no, three—wait a minute! Gi'me one —no. wait; that's a diamond. Give me two—no, no; give me three cards!” “That's the way with me,” said Maude to Peaches; “I get so confused sometimes. I remember one evening we were all playing over at our house, and the baby—” “Cards?” screamed George. Maude gave him a withering glance, and Mrs. Lorrenz said, “One card, please!” George gave his mother-in-law the card, took throe himself and laid the deck down. “Well, I'd like to know where my two cards are?” inquired Maude scathingly. “Well, I thought you stood pat,” said George. “Stood pat; the idea!” snapped “Pass! Pass! Pass!” I Yelled. . Maude. “I never did such a thing in ! my life. I’d like two cards, please.” “It’s too late now.” i butted in. “You'll have to play your hand or drop out.” • “Drop out, indeed. Well, I guess not! George Riggaby, you give me two cards!” “Can't do it; against the rules,” said George. "Against what rules?” “Hoyle.” “Who cares for Hoyle. You gi’me two cards!” And so to keep peace i;i the family she was given two cards—and won the pot. Then Mrs. Lorrenz got mad and wanted her ante back, all of which put us another half hour to the bad. If I had to play hen poker very often, Bunch, I'd have a roller rink in my pot story. A little later on that evening I opened a jackpot, and everybody dropped out except Mrs. Lorrenz and Peaches. You know. Bunch. I like Peaches. She’s the only wire I vere. had, and the only one l ever wish to have, and so I say it from my heart that she plays poker like a Welsh rabbit, which is without form and full of dark surprises. From a social point of view Peaches is the best fellow that ever drew cards, but judged solely on her skill as a pokerine she is what the ancient Greeks would call a Patricia Bolivar. Well, anyway. Bunch, to make a long story lose its cunning. Peaches waved farewell after losing four dol lars, which was all in the family any way'; but Mrs. Lorrenz bit her lip and trailed. Yes, sir, she trailed with all the danger signals set until she had sent seven of her good dollars to the Bad Banda, then she called me When I laid down four typewriters she called me again—but I'd hate to tell you what. Never before. Bunch, in the history of the game did one woman get mad in so many different places at the same time. You see, Bunch, she had four deuces all the time, and after the first bet she began to buy a new dress. After the second bet she selected the trimmings. After the third bet she changed the material and took something more ex pensive. After the fourth bet she decided to pick out an imported dressmaker on Che Called Me Again—Eut I'd Hate to Tell You What. Fifth avenue, and after the fifth bet she felt wealthy enough to go there in a cab. Soon came the awful awakening, and she had to put the dress back in the store. I don't think Mrs. Lorrenz will ever quite recover from the shock. She will be a saddened woman all her life unless a rich relative dies somewhere and leaves her seven dol lars. And to make matters more like a life insurance investigation, about ten minutes later George Higgaby stung Uncle Gregory for $5.75, which caused uncle to go up in the air. After bouncing between the floor and the ceiling for five minutes he had an internal fit, which nearly be came epidemic all over his system. And thus it happened. Runch, that these two members in good standing in the ancient order of the Com panions of the Cold Feet had to sit there all evening and play them close, trying to get their money back, which ! they didn't. The mills of the gods grind slowly, Bunch, but once in a while they grind ; out something worth while. Play poker if you must. Bunch, but j always keep your rubbers on. This goes for the neck as well as the feet. Yours to the finish, JOHN. (Copyright. 190S, by O. W. Gillingham Co.) BILL SAW HIS CHANCE. Willing to Pay Three Dollars to Get Rid of “Old Woman.” Bill, who was employed in the ca pacity of ostler at a wayside inn, was standing at the yard gates with I he inevitable bit of straw in his mouth, wondering if life was worth living. Before leaving home in the morn ing he had engaged in a wordy war fare with his wife, and had decidedly come off second best. In the midst of his meditation a break, filled with ladies on iheir way to a well known resort, pulled up to allow the driver to bait his horses. After seeing to the animals. Bill and the driver adjourned inside to refresh the inner man. “Not much of a day for a drive," said Bill. “Where's yer going with that lot?” “O,”* said the driver, in an offhand manner, “I'm'going to Burnham.” After thinking deeply for a few min utes, Bill inquired, “Got room for one?" "Yus,” was the reply. “Cost yer two and a half.” Hurriedly Bill clutched the driver by the arm and excitedly whispered, "Do us a favor, mate, and wait ten minutes while I go home and fetch the old woman and I'll give yer three dollars, if you burn ’em good."— Rehoboth Sunday Herald. Royal Composers. The Princess Friedrich Luitpold, sis ter of the kaiserin, one of whose com positions was recently performed at a sacred concert at Dresden, is the latest recruit to the ranks of royal composers who have challenged pub lic criticism. The duchess of Orleans, eldest daughter of the Arch duke Joseph of Austria has won golden opinions by her charming songs, many of them set to Hungarian words; the Archduchess Marie Valerie of Austria has also composed a number of pretty song3; the Princess Feodora of Reuss (a prin cess of Saxe-Meiningen) is credited with considerable talent and originality in composition; and the Grand Dueh ; ess Cyril of Russia, also possesses con j siderable gifts as a composer. The male royalties whose musical talent has taken the same direction are quite numerous, ranging from the German emperor and the Grand Duke Michael Michaeiovitch of Russia, who made his debut some years ago with the '‘In fluenza March,” composed while suf fering from that uninspiring ailment, to the blind Landgraf of Hosse-Cassel, incomparably the most, talented of all royal musicians, whose many composi tions, chiefly produced at Paris, are very highly esteemed by experts. Money Well Spent. Health Is an important factor to the people of New York city and the pub lic treasury expends $6,300 each day in looking after it Playing With,* fidf & I RAYJIOM W.PULLMAtt <5TO/?y OFCN/SHOLM. TNFTHANFld married woman. In addition to worrying about her clothes and coax ng her folks to give her a new outfit, she sits up too late with her young aian, and the result is an anxious, :a reworn look a week before the wedding that cannot be told from the look on the face of a woman who has been married a year or two. Look at the next girl you meet who is soon to bo married, and you will remark 'h:r she has “aged rapidly.”—Atchison Globe. A Discomfiting Witness. The following colloquy took place between Councilor Sealingwax and a witness who “would talk back:” “You say, sir, the prisoner is a thief?” "Yes, sir. ’Cause why, she has fon fessed she was.” “And you also swear she worked for you after this con fession?” “Yes, sir.” “Then we are to understand that you employ dis honest people to work for you, even after their rascalities are known?” "Of course. How else would I get as sistance from a lawyer?”—Argonaut. “The Law.” Parents of Wayne, a suburb of Phil adelphia, are required to report promptly any case of contagious dis ease, in compliance with the regula tions of the local board of health. In accordance with this order, Health Officer Leary received this post card recently: “Dear Sir: This Is to notify you that my boy Ephraim is down bad with the measles as required by the new law.”—Harper’s Weekly. NOT A MIRACLE. Just Plain Cause and Effect. There are Some quite remarkable things happening every day, which seem almost miraculous. Some persons would not believe that a man could suffer from coffee drink ing so severely as to cause spells of unconsciousness. And to find complete relief in changing from coffee to Pos tum is well worth recording. 1 used to be a great coffee drinker so much so that it was killing me by inches. My heart became so weak I would fall and lie unconscious for an hour at a time. The spells caught me sometimes two or three times a day. “My friends, and even the doctor, • told me it was drinking coffee that caused the trouble. I would not be heve it, and still drank coffee until I could not leave my room. • Then my doctor, who drinks Pos tum himself, persuaded me to stop cof fee and try Postum. After much hesi tation I concluded to try it. That was eight months ago. Since then I have had but few of those spells, none for more than four months. “I feel better, sleep better and am better every way. I now drink noth mg but Postum and touch no coffee and as I am seventy years of age all mv friends think the improvement Quite remarkable.” 1 “There’s a Reason.” "recTlff'iTo by Postum Co., Battle “ pU RM '» Ever read tne above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They *nterest.UIne’ trUe’ a"d fU" of human