JOHN HENRY ON TITLED FOREIGNERS BY GEO. V. HOBART, (“HUGH M’HUGH”) Dear Bunch: Your letter from Ven ice is at hand, and we are glad, indeed, to hear from you. I hope you won’t fall in the canal while in Venice. No doubt your early education on the Erie will be of great heip to you—get ap! I notice from your letter that you've been hob-nobbing with nobility over there—careless Bunch! We got ’em over here. Bunch, by the gross, so you haven't anything on us. I went in to the Waldorf to meet Uncle Peter one evening last week, and I found him entertaining a Ger man nobleman—the Count Cheese von Cheese. The count is traveling in this coun try incognito. If it were my country he couldn’t travel in a cage. I’m wise to those guys with the Gorgonzola title all wrapped up iu tis "Entertaining a German Nobleman." sue paper and only eight dollars in Dispatches which would make your blood curdle with anguish and sorrow for the rich are flying all over the country. Something like this: “Boston, To-day: At 10:30 this morning Rudolph Oscar Grabbitall, the millionaire stone-breaker, read the startling news that a foreign count had just landed in New York. His suffering was pathetic. His daughter, Gasolene Panatella, who will inherit $10,000,000, mostly in bonds, stocks and newspaper talk, was in the dental parlor five blocks away from home when the blow fell. Calling his house hold about him, Mr. Grabbitall rushed into the dental parlor, beat the dent ist down with his bill, dragged Gaso lene Panatella home and locked her up in the rear cupboard of the spare room on the second floor of his man sion. Her teeth suffered somewhat, but. thank heaven! her money will re main in this country. The commu nity breathes easier, but all the in coming trains are being watched." Are you wise, Bunch, to what the pan handling nobility of Europe are ■doing in our dear United States? They are putting all our million aires on the fritz, that’s what they're doing. It will soon come to pass that the heiress will have to be locked up in the safe deposit vaults with papa's bank book. Here is an item from one of our most prominent newspapers. Read it, Bunch, and then rush out and take a running kick at the first nobleman you see: “Long Island City, Now.—Pinchem their jeans. Count Cheese von Cheese was in troduced to me by Uncle Peter as plain Herr Bungstarter, and then uncle whispered me next to the real truth about the incognito gag. Uncle Peter certainly does make both ends meet in the lemon industry. He is the original onion collector, and he spends his waking moments falling for dead ones. I was on to Count Cheese von Cheese the moment he opened his talk trap. That miff is over here to pick out an heiress and fall in love with her because he needs the money. Every steamer brings them over. Bunch, some incognito, some in dress suits, and g'jme in hoc signo vinces, but all (' them able to pick out a lacjy. -^Ith a bank account at 50 paces. It’s getting so now. Bunch, that an open-face, stem-winding American has to kick four dukes, eight earls, seven counts, and a couple of princes off the front steps every time he goes to call on his sweetheart—if she has money. When I go down into Wall street. Bunch, I find rich men with tears streaming down their faces while they are calling up on the telephone to see if their daughter, Gladys, is still safe at home, where they left her before they came down to business. Walk through a peachy palace of the rich on Fifth avenue,and what will you find? Answer: You will find a proud moth er bowed with a great grief, and hold ing on to a rope which is tied to her daughter's ankle to prevent the lat ter from running out on the front piazza and throwing kisses at the titled foreigners. You will find these cheap skates everywhere. Bunch, rushing hither and thither, and sniffing the air for the odor of burning money. Why should it be thus. Bunch? We have laws in this country to protect the birds and the trees, the / Read the Startling News.” squirrels and all animals except those that can be reached by an automo bile. but why don't we have a law to protect the heiresses? Why are these titled slobs permit ted to borrow car fare, and come over here and give this fair land a fit of indigestion? Why are they permitted to set their proud and large feet on the soil for which our forefathers fought and bled for their country, and for v/hicb some of us are still fighting and bleeding the country? Why? Why do these fat-heads come over here with a silver cigarette case and a society directory and make every rich man in the country fasten a bur glar alarm to his check book? Find out, Bunch. A few days ago one of these mutls with an Edam title jumped off an ocean liner, and immediately the price of padlocks rose to the highest point ever known on the stock exchange. All over the country rich men with romantic daughters rushed to and fro and then rushed back again. They were up against a crisis. If you could get near enough to the long-distance telephone. Bunch, you could hear one rich old American guy shrieking the battle-cry to another cap tain of Industry out in Indianapolis: “To arms! The foe! The fee! He comes with nothing but his full-dress suit and a blank marriage license! To arms! To arms!” The telegraph wires are also Kli m with excitement. »uubs. siz 1 “The Heiress Will Have to Be Locked Up.” Shortfaee, the millionaire who made a fortune by inventing a way to open clams by steam, has determined that no foreign count will marry hs daugh ter, Sudsetta. She will inherit about $193,000,000, about $18 of which is loose enough to spend. The unhappy father is building a spite fence around his mansion, which will be about 22 feet high, and all the unmarried mil lionaires without daughters, to speak of, will contribute champagne bottles to put on top of the fence. If the count get3 Sudsetta he is more of a sparrow than her father thinks he is.” It's pitiful. Bunch; that's what it is, pitiful! All over the country rich men are dropping their beloved daughters in the cyclone cellars and hiding mamma's stocking with the money in it out in the hay loft. I am glad, Bunch, that I am not a rich man with a daughter who is eat ing her heart out for a moth-covered title and a castle on the Rhinewine. You can bet, Bunch, that no daugh ter of mine can ever marry a tall gent with a nose like a quarter past six and a knowledge of the English lan guage which doesn't get bevond I. O. U. Talk to the nobility you have been hobnobbing with. Bunch, and see if you can reform them. Yours in hope. JOHN’. (Copyright, 190S, by G. W. Dillingham Co.) A Strange Will. A law case with strangely dramatic adjuncts was lately before the su perior court of St. Petersburg. The odd circumstances leading to the legal proceedings were as follows: One of the wealthiest land owners near Smolensk died not long ago, and after the funeral the heirs looked vainly for the will, but without suc cess. A few days later, a young man. see ing a grapliophone on a table in the dead man’s library, put into it a record which he supposed was that of a popu lar Russian song. To his amazement and terror, instead of a song he heard the voice of the dead man recite the words of the missing will. The heirs were notified of the dis covery. lawyers were summoned, and they lost no time in examining the record containing the will. It was found to he flawless, and the question then arose whether a will left on a graphophone cylinder would be deemed valid by the courts. It is. therefore, on this unique point that the superior court must render its decision.—Sunday Magazine. Sneeze Cause for Divorce. Mrs. John Buckles of Denver is af ter a divorce because her husband sneezes. It. makes her nervous and i he baby nervous, and oven the neigh bors get fidgety and talk when John wakes up in the middle of the night with a rousing old •‘Ho-rash-shoo!” That’s the way Mrs. Buckles described it to the attorney she applied to. John uses snuff and when he awakened he would take a pinch of snuff and then lie in bed. hump his back and hora sboo 50 times or more. It would shake the bod and knock all the covers off and the baby would set up a yell, and Mrs. Buckles just got distracted. The attorney told her that perhaps John could not help it, but the lady in sisted she wouldn't live with the hora shoo man. She went off declaring she would think up some more had habits of John's if sneezing wasn’t fit cause for action.—Minneapolis Journal. t TWO SMART COATS A coat that can be easily slipped on to cover the dress is most necessary. The two we show here are just the things to fill this need. They are both suitable to be reproduced in alpaca, fine serge cloth, or Shantung. The first is close fitting; it is double-breasted, being fastened with large buttons and drawn in at the waist by a band that is passed under the strap ! each side front and fastened at waist. The sleeves are full, so that they will not crush the bodice beneath; these and the bodice part as far as bust are lined. The back is short-waisted. The second is a perfectly loose slip-on coat; the sides, although appearing to be laced together, are really sewn on under the lacing. Wide silk kraid with tassel.;d ends is used for the lacing, a still wider braid trims the neck, the ends are passed through openings cut in the colth, and are finished with tassels. For the first costume is designed a hat cf fine straw, trimmed with feath ers, and for the second a crinoline that is trimmed with (lowers. Materials required for each coat: Six yards 42 inches wide, four yards silk lining for the first, eight large buttons, two dozen small ones. For the second, four buttons, six yards narrow braid, one yard wide braid, 16 tassels. I BURLAP FRAMES AND BOXES. Useful Material Made Up in Many At tractive Ways. That useful material, burlap, has been made up in many attractive ways in the last few years, and now the needlework shops are showing desk pads, handkerchief boxes and picture frames all in burlap and embroidered with soft colored silks. One set was in a dark shade of green and the design was carried out in tones of wood brown. It does not take very fine stitches or a great amount of work, but, when the dainty little articles are finished and mount ed on cardboard, they are pretty and effective. As soid in the stores, such things are expensive; but why not cover a box—and there are plenty around the average house—with burlap and leave it without further elaboration? It would not soil easily, and it would prove a formidable rival to the silk and tapestry affair. COSTUME IN PASTEL BLjJE. The coat trimmed with braid and embroidery. in Vogue. Large jet hatpins are much worn, ot either round or egg shape, the latter the size oi' a pigeon’s egg and the for mer that of a golf ball. No summer frock is complete with out its yard of two of superfluous chiffon. It is a fad presenting such al luring possibilities to the feminine mind that it cannot be ignored. TIES FOR WIDE COLLARS. Not Necessary That They Should Ele in Expensive Silk. Every one knows that with the new broad collar, indiscriminately called Byron, Eton or Peter Pan, the most artistic flowing ties are worn, but it is a new idea to make them of material other than silk. Fine sheer handker chief linen is the most useful and the prettiest of materials for summer ac cessories, and when made up into ties it is attractive. The new ties for Byron collars are t>iply bows made of a straight piece of linen about five inches wide a>.l 2S inches long. It sounds gigantic, it fs true, but the flowing tie of the Quar tier Latin must have long loops and long ends. When making such a tie it is best to cut the linen an inch longer and an inch broader than the finished tie will be, or it must be buttonholed with mercerized cotton all round—at both sides and each end. Sometimes the embroidery is done in a color to match the suit or dress with which it is to be worn, hut white is always best for these little things that need frequent washing. When it is finished it may be tied into a bow and pinned to the front of the collar, but no gold,or jeweled pins must be in evidence. The best way to manage Is to slip the linen through the collar band in front and then tie the bow. This hides the collar button and the tie cannot slip. As the band on these wide affairs is narrow, the tie which extends round the neck Is likely to get out of place. Some of these summer ties are cut with ends on the bias. All lata insertion and edging should be tabooed for wear with this new wrinkle of fashion. Byron, though he may have been odd, certainly never wore lace neckties. Velvet Faced Fabrics. Because of its soft and clinging characteristics, velvet and velveteens are suddenly coming into vogue, espe cially for the more elaborate order of tailor-mades, although they will be worn in short, severe suits during the winter by girls who are within several years of making their initial bow to society. For afternoon reception cos tume. those in chiffon and Lyons vel vet will, of course, have the long skirt slightly trimmed with chenille, jet or gold bullion, and coats of any length front 3G to 52 inches, usually bearing directcire earmarks and always with full-length sleeves. When velvet is employed solely as a material for a street suit its trimming will be sim pler and of the satin band or fancy braid order, as was the case last sea son with the comparatively few cos tumes worn of that fabric. i Dotted Swiss Sets. Among the many smart trousseaus row being made for autumn brides some of the prettiest sets are built jf finely dotted swiss. This fabric makes up into dainty garments and is a change from the regulation white muslin. One set has a nightgown and chem ise in empire style, cut round at the neck, full over the bust, with beading around the figure under the arms. This is rim through a one-inch col ored satin ribbon tied in a large bow n the center. With this set goes a full-length matinee, also made in empire style, with wide sleeves and an immense lace collar tied in front with a soft blue bow. The Furbished Comb. Highly ornamental combs for the hair have been introduced threaded through with ribbon at the top, in some cases tucked into rosettes, in others left hanging, with a view to being woven through the hair in the manner approred by individual wear ers. As well as ribbons, little clusters of curls are fiied to the comb, and it is a pretty idea to attach knots of flow ers with trailing foilinge and tiny buds that can be lightly fastened to the coiffure by the comb. French Chalk Uses. If a girl is away from a cleaner’s anti she finds one of her best frocks spotted with grease, she can try the simple remedy of French chalk and hot iron. The chalk is spread thickly over the spot until all the grease is absorbed. Then a piece of blotting paper is put over it and a warm, not hot, iron is held over it to draw the grease into the paper. Rub off the chalk with a soft silk or muslin rag and the spot will probably have dis appeared. Shirtwaist Rings. Shirtwaist rings are a fad with the summer girl this season. The ring is a slender band of gold supporting a large stone of the semi-precious variety, the color matching the set of shirt studs worn. Among them there are many mountings, such as pearl coral, lapis lazuli, jade, amethyst ruby, turquoise, topaz, etc., to choose from. MOVABLE WIRE COOPS FOR THE GROWING CHICKENS They Furnish Many of the Advantages of a Free Range. The type of coop shown will some times prove valuable for housing growing stock. By its use many of the advantages of a free range can be secured in localities where the area is insufficient to permit such range. The usual practice is to place these coops on grass land and one or more times daily to move them their length cr width so that the fowls may have a fresh supply of green feed and un soiled ground. Of course any given area can be fed over in this way sev eral times during a season. The coops are light and very readily moved. Dragging would be made easier by shaping the lower edges of the ends of the bottom scantling of the frame like a sled runner. The coop can be still further improved. 1. By putting doors about a foot used with satisfactory results for con fining laying hens during the summer. The care of the fowls will take rather more time than in houses, but the use of the coop moved daily solves the problem of green feed; it makes it possible to carry a large number of fowls with many of the advantages of free range on limited areas and it is the observation of the writer that hens kept in this way (with no fixed habitation) become broody less than those in houses and may consequently lay more eggs. An orange box be neath the roof with a hinged gate in front of it for removal of the eggs af fords the needed nests. This can be set on and fastened to the bottom frame at one corner so that it moves with the coop. Such a coop will ac commodate from ten to 12 hens. As a Good i ype of Movable Wire Coop. square in the gables so that fowls on the perches beneath the roof can be reached from the outside. 2. By putting a hinged gate large enough to admit the blade of a hoe opposite the end of the feed trough so that it may be conveniently cleaned when necessary. 3. Light diagonal braces in the cor ners will render such coops firmer and more durable. Wires might un doubtedly be used with advantage for this purpose. Such coops have frequently been consequence, in part no doubt of the frequent movings to fresh ground, the fowls suffer relatively little from ver min. A Gallon of Cream.—A department writer says that a gallon of cream should be rich enough to produce from 3.5 to four pounds of butter. Cream that produces live pounds of butter to the gallon is considered a little too rich, lor there is apt to be consider ably more loss in handling cream that is so rich. HOW OLD IS YOUR HORSE? You Can Tell by the Size and Form of His Teeth. The upper row are typical of a horse that has reached the age of three yea'-s. At that age there are four permanent nippers on a level with the neighboring teeth. These permanent teeth can be recognized by their great er size, their square form and the groove on the outer face. The lower figure illustrates the teeth of a horse at 2/z years old. Then the nippers sre just pjshing through the gums, while the middle and cor ner foal teeth are not yet shed. IMPROVEMENT IS PROSPERITY By John T. Stewart. In an agricultural region the works of man are the characteristic features whicli are noticed by a traveler. As the intelligence of the inhabitants and the prosperity of the country in creases the works of man are made more sightly and pleasing to the eye and more convenient and comfortable to the occupant. This condition of an agricultural country is denoted by the word •improvement.’ which may be considered as the index to its pros perity. If the buildings are neat and at tractive, the lawns and shade trees well kept, the fences straight and free from weeds, the fields properly cul tivated. the passer-by will speak of the country as being well improved, by which it is understood that the people are intelligent and thrifty, the soil productive, and the markets good. A well improved country is a prosper ous country. If the buildings are small and poor ly built, the yards and waste places grown up in weeds, the fences un sightly and areas of land not culti vated, it is spoken of as a poorly im proved country, which is understood to mean that either the country is comparatively new, the inhabitants lazy and shiftless, the soil non-pro ductive or the markets poor. A poorly improved country being one that for some reason is not pros perous. As comfort, convenience and beauty are qualities which please the average person, they are prominent factors in determining the market in : value of real estate. Hence, property which has these qualties will always j command a high price, as they indi- j cate to the non-resident the productive j value of the lands and a reasonable income from their cultivation. Pure Seed Investigations.—Since the publication of bulletin No. 88 of the Iowa experiment station on “Vitality, Adulteration and Impurities of Clover, Alfalfa and Timothy Seed” a large amount of important work has been done along these lines, especially from the standpoint of purity and vi tality. The high price of agricultural seeds during the past year has made it especially important that buyers be sure of obtaining pure seed with a high percentage of vitality. The pas sage of the pure seed law has been a long step in the right direction, but there is still a large amount of seed sold that is far below standard. The results of the latest investigation in this line have been published in bulle tin No. 99 of the Iowa experiment sta tion, which will be furnished free upon application to the director, Prof. C. F. Curtiss, at Ames, la. The Skin of the Cow.—The skin of the cow tells much as to the quality of the cow. If the cow is an easy keeping animal, the skin will be soft, because the cow is easily nourished and so supplies the skin with the ma terials that keep it in perfect condi tion. If the skin is hard and inflexible the cow is not well nourished no mat ter how well she may be fed. That is why the judges of dairy shows pay so much attention to the “feel” of the skin. Must Be Studied.—The science of fowl feeding is a very large one and is worthy to be more studied than it is. nud! I Wfti A SIMPLE SAFEGUARD IN BUYING PAINT. Everybody should know how simple and easy It is to avoid all uncertainty in buying paint materials. There are many so-called white leads on the market, which contain chalk, zinc, barytes, and other cheap adulterants. Unless the property owner takes ad vantage of the simple means of pro tection afforded him by reliable while lead manufacturers, he runs great rirk of getting an inferior and adulterated white lead. It is to protect the paint-buyer against fraud and adulteration that National Lead Company, the largest makers of genuine Pure White Lead, place their famous “Dutch Boy Paint er” trademark on every keg of their product, an absolute guarantee of its purity and quality. Anyone who wants to make a practical test of white lead, and who wants a valuable free book about painting, should address Na tional Lead Company, Woodbridge Bldg., New York, and ask for test equipment. AND SHE LEFT HIM GUESSING. Woman's Directions of Little Help to Traveling Lawyer. A New York lawyer was called re cently to a hamlet in Berks county. Pennsylvania, In the interest of a large coal corporation, and now he is telling this story on himself: lie was driving along a country road and feared he might have lost his bearings. The village he wanted to reach seemed elusive, s what might be expected from its chem ical analysis. Grape-Nuts food is made of whole wheat and barley, is thoroughly baked for many hours and contains all the wholesome ingredients in these ce reals. It contains also the phosphate of potash grown in the grains, which Na ture uses to build up brain and nerve cells. ^oung children require proportion ately more of this element because the brain and nervous system of the child grows so rapidly. A Va. mother found the value of Grape-Nuts in not only building up her own strength but in nourishing her baby at the same time. She writes: “After my baby came I did not re cover health and strength, and the doctor said I could not nurse the baby as I did not have nourishment for her besides I was too weak. He said I might try a change of diet and see what that would do and recommended Grape-Nuts food. I bought a pkg. and used it regularly A marked change came over both baby and I. -My baby is now four months old, s in fine condition, I am nursing her and doing all my work and never felt better in my life.” “There’s a Reason.’* Name given by Postuin Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Read “The Road to Well vitle, in plcgs. Ever read the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They ZZT"'- and ,u" °<