JOHN HENRY OW THE BY GEO. V. HOBART, (“HUGH M'HUGH.”) Dear Hunch: Your letter from Her ein is here, ami after nicking; all the “Hochs!” and “Gesundlicits!” out of it we’re hep to the fact that you're both having a swell time among the Ger mans. Tell Alice to bring me home a stein —empty. 1 can get the beer and the “Proslts!" over here. Your German letter having created an atmosphere, it’s up to me to tell you about old Elsie Shulz, who is spending a few days at Uncle Peter’s home across the road. Elsie is a sort of a privileged char acter in our family, having lived with Aunt Martha for over 20 years as a sort of housekeeper. Yesterday morning, while Peaches and 1 were at breakfast. Elsie mean “I Got k." dered in. bearing in her hand a wed ding invitation which Herman had for warded to her from Plainfield. Elsie read the invitation. “Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph Ganderkurds request der honor of your presence at der mar riage of deir daughter, Verbena, to Galahad Schmalzenberger, at der home of der pride's parents, Plainfield. N. J.. May first. R. S. V. P." ■‘Veil,” said Elsie. “I know der Gan derkurds und I know deir daughter Verbena, und I know Galahad Schmal zenberger; he’s a floorwalker in Bauerhaupt's grocery store, but I doan'd know vot is dot R. S. V. P. yet!” i gently kicked Peaches on the in step under the table, and said to Elsie: “Well, that's a new one on me, also. Are you sure it isn’t B. & O. or the C. R. R. of N. J.? Those are a couple of railroads in New Jersey, but I never heard of the R. S. V. P..“ For the first time in her life since she's been able to grab a sentence be tween her teeth and shake the pro nouns out of it Elsie was amazed. She kept looking at the invitation and saying to herself; “R. S. V. P. t "Vot is it? 1 know der honor of your presence; I know der pride's parents, but. I don’t know R. S. V. P.” All that day Elsie wandered through the house muttering to herself "R. S. V. P.! Vot is it? Is it some secret between der pride und groom? R. S. V. P.! It ain’d my initials, because dey ! begin mit E. S. Vot is dot R. S. V, P.? Vot is it? Vot is it?” That evening we were all at dinner when Elsie rushed in with a cry of joy. “I got it!” she said. “I have nntied der meaning of dot R. S. V. P. It means Real Silver Vedding Pres ents!” I was just about to drink a glass of water, so I changed my mind and near ly choked to death. Peaches tried to say something, which resulted in a gurgle in her “Herman Would Yell Whoa!” throat; the Swede servant girl rushed out in the kitchen and broke a couide of dishes, while Uncle Peter, who was dining with us, fell off his chair on the cat which had never done him any harm. Elsie's interpretation of that wed ding present is going to set Herman Shulz back several dollars, or I'm not a foot high. This same Herman is a character, by the way, Bunch. He's a horse trader by profession and a con thrower by nature. 1 must tell you, Bunch, about Her man when he lived and flourished in Rochester, N. Y. A friend of ours named Will Hodge also lived in Rochester at that time, and Will went to Herman to buy a horse. Herman had at this time an old sor rel horse which would never travel over half a mile without balking. At some remote period of its life the sorrel had been docked, but Her man decided he could sell the horse quicker if it had a long tall, so he glued on a tail which he kept in the barn for this purpose. One of the peculiar features about this old sorrel was the fact that just before he would begin to balk and stop dead in his tracks the right ear wouid fly back and stay there. And just before he intended to start again the left ear would fly back and join the right ear. Then as the old sorrel went joyously on Uis way once more both ears would stand out straight, and all would be well. The old sorrel always made these signals, rain or shine. Another peculiar fact was this, that once the old sorrel's nose was pointed for home lie never stopped, but went like the wind—when it isn’t blowing very hard. Well, ofl' goes Will Hodge to Her man Shtilz to inquire about a horse, and Herman hitches up the old sorrel. While hitching Herman starts in to explain what a clever old beast the sorrel is. and by the time they get started out of the barn in the buggy Hodge has an idea that he is riding behind Sysonby's stepbrother. When they got out about half a mile back went the sorrel's right ear. and Herman said quickly: “Whoa, whoa, boy! Whoa! ” Of course, the old sorrel intended to whoa anyway, but Hodge didn’t know that. Then Herman would point at the scenery with the whip and describe it. all the time watching the old sor rel’s left ear for the starting signal. Presently hack went the left ear, and then Herman would stop describ ing the scenery, and with a loud "Ged dap!" the old sorrel would start off once more. At the end of another half mile hack would go the sorrel’s right ear. and Herman would yell “Whoa!” and then say: “Here on the right I would like to point out to you the Methodist orphan asylum, and over there is Chase & Pendleton's cele brated sash factory. Over there on the left—” Hut just then the sorrel's left ear would fly back, and Herman would bave'to say “Ged-dap!” right in ‘‘Saw a Man Running.” Ihe midst of his description of the scenery. This was kept up about four times, and then all of a sudden Hodge let out a roar. “For the love of a kind Heaven!" yelled Will, “don’t you know that I came out here to see this horse go and not to listen to your lectures on this bum scenery? Why, man, I have lived in Rochester all my life and I know all about the sash factories and the orphan asylums, and I am on fa miliar terms with every bit of scenery you can shake a whip at, so now I will thank you kindly to point the reins of this horse and make him commence.” “Aeh! oxcoos. oxcoos;" said Her man. “You vish to see him trafel, is it? So! I show you!” Then Herman turned the old sor rel around, pointing his nose at the oats in the barn, and the wise old bonerack never stopped running until they were back home. Hodge bought the horse on the strength of that return trip. That afternoon Hodge took the sor rel out for a little exercise. Pretty soon it began to rain, the glue melted, and when Will saw his horse’s tail drop off he nearly fell out of the wagon. An hour later Herman was sitting in his barn door, when he saw a man running towards him who looked something like Hodge and something like a vigilance committee. The man had a buggy whip in one hand and a horse’s tail in the other, and he was traveling hell bent for election. Herman took one peep at him, then he fell sideways out of the barn win dow and hid for three days in his cellar. I don't think Will and Herman ever meet, because both of them are still alive and uninjured. Yours for the Germans, JOHN. (Copyright, 1908, by G. W. Dillingham Co.) Grecian Women Advance a Step. The chamber of deputies of Greece has passed a law by which, for the first time in modern Greece, women are admitted in the public service. In accordance with this law, the director of posts and telegraphs is authorized to employ 50 women, to be used main ly in the telephone service. They are to be between 21 and 35 years old, and are to receive 70 drachmas (about $13.50) a month, for six hours’ work a day. Babylon. Like magic architects the winds have made Of radiant clouds a city in the air. Temples and citadels and gardens fair. With all the show of pompous art dis played ; Burnished and dyed with every fleeting shade Of sunset—gold and rose and emerald rare— Until a phantom Babiyon is there. A crown of blooming stars upon her head. The tangled constellations wane and die. The witchery of waking dawn en twines A wreath of primrose glory In the sky Ami all the orient incarnadines— I.o, Babylon has vanished with the night And whither have the builders taken flight: —William F. McCormack. Still Anxious. “So your financial apprehensions are over?” “Not entirely,” answered the man who is never satisfied to be happy. “1 have quit fretting about getting any money out of the bank, and am now worrying about how to get more in.” TWO LATE MODES ! i The gown at the left is of black crepe de chine. The half-empire skirt is trimmed lengthwise with tucked bands of taffeta and is finished at the bottom with a wide band of lace re-embroidered with jet paillettes. The corsage and little sleeves are trimmed to correspond, and also with a jet fringe. The tucked guimpe and the undersleeves are of white tulle. The other gown is of black chiffon-mouseline. Undulating bands of taf feta and panels of filet guipure trim the skirt. The prettily draped corsage is of the filet guipure trimmed around the neck with the taffeta bands. The yoke and undersleeves are of white lace; the girdle with pretty knot, is of black taffeta. FROCKS FOR THE TUB. Blue and Brown Galatea Among the Best of Materials. Among the cheapest of the good looking tub juniper frocks are those made of blue and brown galatea. The material sells at a very small price everywhere and washes like a collar. It comes in good tones that do not show soil and comes out of the tub without being faded. Linen makes charming ones, but every woman does not care to afford many linen frocks. The good quality is the only one worth buying, and a frock of it amounts up. When a girl feels she can afford only one. she should get it in rose pink or nile green in order that it may be dressy enough for afternoon wear. This is the ideal costume for church this summer, at home or on a vaca tion. The reason most of these materials were not comfortable before for sum mer frocks was because of their heat around the neck and arms. TWO SMART LITTLE DRESSES. Both Suitable for Girls from Eight to Ten Years of Age. The first costume pictured is a smart iittle dress in blue checked zephyr. The skirt Is trimmed with a band of plain blue zephyr, the pinafore-bodice being bound with the same, and the shoulders and fronts connected by straps of zephyr fixed under tiny but tons. A blouse of white muslin print ed lightly with blue is worn with it. The second is another pretty wash ing-dress of pink zephyr. The skirt has a shaped piece turned up at the foot and stitched on the outside. The bodice has a small yoke of piece lace set into a shaped yoke and platron of zephyr, the sides being plaited and laid under it. The tight-fitting lower part of sleeve is of piece lace. A Belting Jumper. Embroidered linen belting, in white and color, may be bought by the yard, and a very clever little lady has used it to make herself a jumper. A double thickness over each shoulder, from the waist line in the front to the waist line in the back, is the foundation of the garment, while a few strips across the back and front give the whole a very jumper-like appearance. The four loops at tfie waist line formed by the shoulder straps are used to slip the belt through, so, when it is worn with a white skirt and blouse, the effect Is of one of the popular one piece dresses. It is just such an arrangement that makes it possible to wear a blouse and skirt without a coat. English Dress for Indians. It seems not improbable that the dress adopted by educated India, which is more or less of the western type, will also be adopted by the peo ple at large in the future. The fond ness of the orientals for bright colors may give rise to gorgeous neckties and gold-laced collars—Hindustan Re view, Allahabad. WAY TO MAKE NEAT HEM. Accomplishment Few Women Seem to Have at Command. It is really surprising how few wo men know how to make a neat hem, although this was considered a neces sary accomplishment in the days of our grandmothers. It is used to finish the raw edges of goods and it is most important that it be evenly and neatly turned down; always turn it toward you. To do this, turn down one-quar ter of an inch all t^Iong the edge and baste it on the crease w’ith even bast ing stitches. Take a stiff piece of cardboard and mark on it the exact width of the ! hem. Place the edge of the creased cardboard at the creased edge of the goods and mark the desired width with a thread, using the short and long basting stitch. Fold the hem on this line of thread and baste to the material along the upper edge with an even basting. In hemming do not use a knot. Hold the hem across the end of the forefinger of the left hand. Point the needle toward you, to the right, and insert it under the edge of ' the hem close to the right hand. Draw ! the needle through, leaving an end of the thread to be tucked under the edge. To begin the hemming stitch, point the needle toward the middle of the left thumb and take up one thread of the cloth and the same of the fold. To have the thread slant in the right di rection, see that each time a stitch is taken that the needle points directly across the middle of the left thumb. To have the hem appear well when finished care must be taken to have the distance between each stitch ex actly the same.—Exchange. Old Idea Revived. A pretty way of trimming a muslin and lace frock is by heading the deep insertion of lace on the skirt (the band of dentelle so beloved of Paris) with a beading wide enough to admit a soft satin ribbon, some two or three inches in width, this ribbon being threaded through it at intervals of about a foot, tied into prettv bows, but these are not left on a level with the beading. They are pulled through so that the bow hangs down over the lace, the lit tle ends having a ball of floas silk to finish them off, with a bunch of fringe falling from the center of each ball. These loosely hanging bows look very quaint against the lace background. Dressy Robes of'Marquisette. The very dressy robes for afternoon or evening wear are now composed of marquisette. This is so very fine that it looks like organdie or mousseline from a distance. It comes in all col ors, too, and the colors are very dainty and delicate. Of course the mar quisette is flimsy, but everything this season is the same. Drapers declared that goods were to have more body a year or two ago, but heavy goods have not yet made an appearance. Chiffon on Summer Frocks. No summer frock is complete with out its yard or two of superfluous chif fon. It is a fad presenting such allur ing possibilities to the feminine mind that it cannot be ignored. Novelty in Skirts. The “really new’’ skirt, which we find in silk cachemire, in heavy crepe de chine, in thick eastern silks of all kinds, as in supple light cloths, is made with folds dragged across the front from bust to ankles, the ten dency of the lines being to mount toward the back, perhaps crossing over obliquely there and ending under a buckle on one hip, or at the shoulder blade. Fancy this in dead leaf color, j meager as to underskirt, slightly trailing, and worn with a taffeta coat in light jade green, w’hich, short-waist ed and tailless behind, has two long side pieces that almost reach the ankles, fringed and embroidered in soutache. There is a soft sash of black liberty satin, which is carried across the bust under the coat, high enough behind to just show under the short coat back, and crossing there, returning to droop in front and knot at the bend of the legs. Her Last Hope. After a man’s wife finds that it is useless to try to convince him that smoking is an expensive habit she be gins to be afraid that it hurts the baby’s throat. FENCING FIELDS FOR THE PASTURING OF LIVE STOCK What It Costs and Why It Pays —By D. A. Gaumnltz, M. S., Agr., Minnesota. It Is generally conceded that good pastures furnish liy far the cheapest icku iur growing animals on land not exceeding $100 per acre in value. The truth of this argument is quite evident when it Is considered that the feed as ob tained by the ani mal is in the very best condition.That is, it is succulent, contains all the nutrients. in an easily digestible form and is ob tained by the ani mal under very healthful condi tions. In addition to this the cost of harvesting, curing, stackiug and feed ing is eliminated, j On land worth $70 Good Pest for I’er aRre a cow | Temporary Fen- can be Pastured I cjr.g for less than five j cents per day. I while at the present price of grain and (he fence. It Is much easier to fence hogs into a cornfield than to fence them out. and, as a rule, they do not make much effort to get out. In case they do attempt to get out, a barbed wire stretched along the bottom, pr stakes one or two feet long driven between posts and left just enough above the ground so that the bottom of the wire ribbon may be stapled to them will keep them on the right side. Such fencing will cost from 30 to 40 cents per rod. The amount of fencing used and the methods employed in handling it (see accompanying table) will make the cost vary from $1.50 to three dollars per acre. This will un-, doubtedly prove more profitable fn many cases than husking the corn and feeding in the yard, especially if there is a good growth of rape or other catch crop that the hogs can get at the same time they ar getting the ; corn. In case this is nec done, it is : more economical to snap corn tha is to be fed at once than to carefully husk it. Fencing intelligently done offers cne of the safest investments of any ot the farm improvements. Not alone is it valuable to inclose The regular pasture, but it often makes possible the pastur ing off of grain and corn fields after har Average Annual Cost of Fencing. Hind of Fence. 2C" ribbon, 2 b. wires, ponta 1 rod apart 2 b. wires, pests 2 rods apart. 2 b. wires, posts 1 red apart . 3 b. wires, posts 2 rods apart. 3 b. wires, posts 1% rods apart. 3 b. wires, posts 1 rod apart.. Any fence. Any fence. Any fence . Any fence. Any fence . Any fence . Any fence . Any fence . Any fence . A.iy fence ... ICost per Average Annual Cast per rod when lasting o u .13 .28 .24 .27 ,3S .20 .26 .30 .40 .50 .60 .70 .80 .90 1.00 •i u a >, «l >» 7.3c 2.5c 3.7c 3.2c 3.6c 4.4c 2.6c 3.2c 4.0c 6.3c 6.7c 8.0c 9.3c 10.6c 12.0c 13.3c 8.7c 3.0c 4.3c 3.8c 4.3c 5.2c 3.2c 4.0c 4.8c 6.4c 8.0c 9.6c 11.0c 12.7c 14.3c 15. »c 11.lc 3.8c 5.6c 4.8c 6.4c 6.6c 4.,0c 5.0c 6.0c 8.0c 10.0c 12.1c 14.1c 16.1c 18.1c 20.2c Note.—The last three columns of figures in the above table are offered for the eon venienoo of those who wish to know the approximate annual cost of any given fence. The figures tire obtained by divid ing the cost p* r rod of the fence by the number of years it is expected to last and adding to this the interest on the aver fctiy it costs 0:1 the average farm from S to 12 cents per day to feed the same cow in the barn. Experiments show that as much pork can be made from one acre of good pasture as from one ton of shorts or corn. The cost of these feeds varies from $15 to $20 per ton. An acre of pasture will save. then, from $15 to $20 worth of feed. It is quite evident that in the economical pro duction of animal products good pas tures are an important factor. The reason mere and better hog pastures are not used is chiefly due to the fact that hog fences are quite expensive. The advent of the woven wire fence is overcoming this feature and now land may be fenced hog tight age annua] Investment. To Illustrate how I these figures may be used, let us consider the fencing required per acre to inclose the hog paddocks on farm shown in Fig. -!. Sixteen rods of fencing is required P*r acre. If the fencing costs 55c per rod, and will last eight years, the cost per year is 8.7c—S.7cx!6 equals $1 39, or aver age annual cost of fence per acre. vesting, thus saving from ten cents to five dollars an acre, which would oth erwise be wasted. However, like any other investment, it should be made only when careful reasoning shows it to be advisable. A PERTINENT QUESTION "FARMERS MUST KEEP CP ROADS." | “POSTOFFICE DEPARTMENT MAKES RULING AFFECTING RURAL DELIVERY.” These headlines appeared in the 1 Chicago Inter Ocean July 24. It is per tinent to ask why the fanners must ■ A Good Way to Brace a Corner Post. A Good Hog Fence. at an annual cost of from $1 to $2.50 per acre, depending on the size and shape of fields fenced and cost of posts. For temporary fences for hogs many farmers use only a plain woven wire ribhon 24 or 26 inches high, put up on small posts or stakes set from one to rods apart. The best kind of posts to use for such work are about three inch posts, six feet long, well shar pened, and the corners rounded off on the upper end so they will not split in driving. Holes may be made rap idly with a crowbar and then two or three good blows with a post maul will make the posts solid enough for tem porary use. Such posts are easily taken out when it is desired to move I keep up the roads. The roads ar« public property—they belong to all . are used by all and all are benefltec hy them. The sender of a letter to a 1 farmer served by rural delivery may l be just as much interested in its de * livery as the one who receives it. Mail delivery is a public service per formed, over public property. Good roads help the farmer more than any one else, but they are not the only ones benefited. The country mer ' chant and every one who consumes | farm products gain by good roads. The * fair way, the equitable way and the t only successful way to get good roads t is by state aid, 1. e., the state from the - general tax levy or a bond issue to pay * half the cost and tax everybody for it. Clean Out the Weeds.—Do not put aff the task of cleaning out the weeds between the rows and in the fence corners, whether it be a field, a gar den, a little grass plot, or a walk or driveway. Those left will go to seed and as a stitch in time saves nine, so ane year's seeding makes seven years’ weeding. Hoe Out Dairy Weeds.—There is >uch a thing as keeping the hoe going n the dairy. Many of the animals are ittle if any better than "dairy weeds” ind they will prove death to profits if they are not hoed out. One cow that - pays a profit takes less care and pays I as much profit as three cows, two of 1 which “break even” so far as the ex- 1 pense account is concerned. Hoe out i everything that does not pay a good profit. . Costly Pests.—It is estimated that K the orchard pests do over $30,000,000 worth of damage to the fruit of the 1 country every year. A little money l invested in arsenates and a little time ' in using them would save most of this | great loss. FULLY FILLED THE BILL. Aunt Mandy Was Thoroughly Satis*ied with New Husband. Aunt Mandy is an old colored wom an who for years has done washing for several families. She has had several matrimonial experiences, and when her last husband died one of her customers attempted to condole with her. I was very sorry to hear of your husband's death, Aunt Mandy," she said. ^ a as, ma'am,” said Aunt Mandy. "He was a pow’ful good man." “What did he die of?” ‘‘Ah really don’t know, ma'am ” “You don’t know- Gracious! Couldn’t the doctor tell you?" “Ah didn't have no doctah. ma'am " said Aunt Mandy. "He jes done d 1 a natch’ral death.” It wasn't long, however, before Aunt Mandy had another husband. "I hear you are married again," re marked her patron one day. "Ya'as, ma'am,” giggled Aunt Mandy. “I was done married las’ Sunday ” “And is your new husband equal to the last?” “Ya’as, indeedy, ma’am,” said Aun Mandy. “He's jes as equal, if no: equaller.” PRECISE. ■=> Miss Sentimental—Tell me. are you sure, Milton, that I'm the first you'v> asked to marry you?” Mr. Manyack—Do you mean this present month or do you include las' as well? A Unanimous Vote. A German-Ameriean who had re cently arrived at the estate of riches attended his first banquet. The wine was particularly vile, and so several gentlemen who were seated near the German w'ere quite satisfied to have him empty the bottles that had been set apart for their common use. Neither the quality nor the quantity of the wine in the least disturbed the Teuton, and, after draining the last glass, he looked around jovially and said: "Shentlemen, I haf now drunk en all your wine and safed you the trouble of trinking vat you did not like. I tink you ought to vote me a public tank.” They did.—Lippincott s. Sheer white goods, In fact, any fine wash goods when new, owe much of their attractiveness to the way they are laundered, this being done in a manner to enhance their textile beau ty. Home laundering would be equal ly satisfactory if proper attention was given to starching, the first essential being good Starch, which has sufficient strength to stiffen, without thickening the goods. Try Defiance Starch and you will be pleasantly surprised at the improved appearance of your wrork. Thoreau’s Sensible Answer. When the forest-haunting hermit Thoreau lay on his deathbed, a Cal vinistic friend called to make inquiry regarding his soul. "Henry," he said, anxiously, "have you made your peace with God?” "John," replied the dying naturalist, in a whisper, "I didn't know that God and myself had quar reled ! ” Omaha Directory Wholesale and retail dealers in everything for a Gentleman’s table, including Fine Im- I ported Table Delicacies. If there is any little item you are nnable to obtain in yonr Home Town ■rite as for prices on same, as we will be sure to hare it man oraers careruiiy oiled. • IMPOBTIHI AWP DKAlCRS IN PURE FOOD PR ODUM'S * AND TABLE DELICACIES * Wf “ I GR0CS«V 64T W COURTNEY & CO., Omaha, Nebr. Visitors to Omaha at Ak-Sar-Ben or at any other time, are invited to make their headquarters at BRANDEIS Boston Store OMAHA Largest store west of Chicago. You are always welcome here. Free waiting rooms. Baggage checked free. Save money on everything. RUBBER GOOBS hr mall at cat prices. Send for free catalogue. nrfYERS-DILLON DRUG CO., OMAHA, NEBR. THE OMAHA WATCH R&SS NEW BRANDEIS BLOCK, liw.ls. ";.; ; Repairing and Engraving. Charges reason able. Eyes tested free for Glasses. Students taken in all branches. TAFT’S DENTAL ROOMS 1517 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB. Reliable Dentistry at Moderate Price*. KODAKS=FINISHING BMn&*r^^SSKKBK THE ROBERT DEMPSTER CO.. Boa 1197. Omaha. THE PAXTON M. Spiesberger & Son Co. Wholesale Millinery The Best In the West. OMAHA, NEB. FARMER’S ELECTRIC LIGHT PLANTS rgggggg ask JOHN DEERE omaha For Booklet "How to Raise Better Crops.”