The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917, April 30, 1908, Image 3
PAT'S MiND WAS LOGICAL, Quick to See One Strong Point as to Victim’s Identity. Previously to entering the railroad yards an able-bodied loafer picked up a small, glittering object from the sidewalk and, without examining it very closely, pinned it to his coat, says the Philadelphia Ledger. Three minutes later he collided with a slow ly moving freight train, was hurled against a post and picked up insensi ble The train dispatcher, notified by telephone, called up Patrick Doyle, the yardmaster's assistant, and said: ^ ou d better search his pockets. Doyle. Find out who lie is. notify his friends and report to me:” A few moments later the report came: "There's not a line of writing on him." said Patrick, "hut we've identi fied him j>y the badge on his coat. He is a Lady Maccabee.” * How I Cured Sweeny and Fistula. "I want to tell you how 1 sared one ■of our horses that had a fistula We had the horse doctor out and he said it was so had that he did not think he could cure it. and did not come again. Then we tried Sloan's Liniment and it cured it up nicely. "One day last spring I was plowing for a neighbor who had a horse with sweeny, and 1 told him about Sloan's Liniment and he had me get a bottle for him. and it cured his horse all right, and he goes off now like a colt. "We had a horse that had sweeny awfully bad and we thought it was never going to be any good, but we used Sloan's Liniment and it cured it up nicely. I told another neighbor about it and he said it was the best Liniment he ever used. "We are using Sloan's Sure Colic Cure and we think it is all right.” A. D. Bruce, Aurelia, la. HOW HE SHOT THEM. * * Made Little Difference to Sportsman Where His Birds Were Hit. “Down in Florida, where I spend the greater part of the winter,” said the sunburned New Yorker, "they are not so particular about observing the game laws and the little niceties of hunting as we are up north. I had frequently seen water fowl shot with out giving them a chance to rise. Com ing up to Jacksonville a big German got on the train at Port Orange with a nice string of duck. He sat next me in the smoker and I struck up a con versation with him. “ Nice lot of ducks you have there,’ I said. "Yah,' he replied. “‘Where did you get them?'I asked. ‘“Down py de inlet up de creeks,' be said. " I suppose you shot them on the wing.' I ventured, remembering the trick of the pot hunters. ' ’Yah.’ he replied solemnly, on de ving. und in de feet, und in de head, eferywhere. Dere dev are. Y’ou can examine deru und see for yourself.' ” Willing to Oblige. The poor but nervy young man was after the hand of the heiress. “Young man." roared her irate fa ther, “never darken my door again." “All right, sir.” replied the suitor, blandly, ' I'll come around to-morrow and give it a coat of bright red paint. That will be much better than dark ening it." And the next instant the poor but ' nervy young man was being chased : by a Scotch coachman, a French 'chauffeur and an English bulldog. New Dinner Card idea. H From Paris comes a decorated card l:rack with a trail of artificial flowers Spthat may be changed to suit the din ner c-oiors and makes a pretty addi tion to the table. These racks are to ibold a plain card upon which the gr. -st s name is written and they may be used for a good many dinners, thus obviating the expense of tbe decorated dinner card every time one enter tains. Perversion of Type. The Sunday school teacher was en tertaining her class with what she m had fondly planned to be a “social / C. evening.'' To her disappointment she i|s found that all spontaneity had been | left at home with the boys' everyday clothes. and conversation dragged mM. hopelessly until her bull terrier came P into the room. He sniffed about from one sby band of welcome to another, S when suddenly a boyish voice, grufT * with embarrassment, burst forth: "I had a bull pup like that oncet, but he £ growed up into a bloodhound." ' BUILJ RIGHT. . Brain and Nerves Restored by Grape jfe Nuts Food. The nutcber of persons whose ail ments were such that no other food could be retained at all, is large and reports are on the increase. “For 12 years 1 suffered from dys pepsia. finding no food that did not ^.distress me." writes a Wis. lady. “I was reduced from 145 to 90 lbs., grad ually growing weaker until 1 could leave my bed only a short while at a time, and became unable to speak aloud. “Three years ago I was attracted by an article on Grape-Nuts and decided to try it. “My stomach was so weak I could not take cream, but I used Grape-Nuts with milk and lime water. It helped me from the first, building up my sys tem in a manner most astonishing to the friends who had thought my re covery impossible. “Soon I was able to take Grape Nuts and cream for breakfast, and lunch at night, with an egg and Grape Nuts for dinner. “I am now able to eat fruit, meat and nearly all vegetables for dinner, but fondiy continue Grape-Nuts lor breakfast and supper. “At the time of beginning Grape Nuts I could scarcely speak a sen tence without changing words around Aor 'talking crooked' in some way, but my brain and nerves have become so strengthened that I no longer have that .rouble.” “There’s a Reason.” Name given by Postum Co.. Battle Creek, Mich. Cead "The Road to Well- , Pkg?. ^ A'r -* / ' I •r<®7'VrVr l\\ 'V''\ JZzzwz&JTJQ/rs ^BtXzzziJ&vr SYNOPSIS. The story opens during: a trip of the “Overland Mad" through the ltocky mountains, while effi.riv • are being mad' to build up the reunify “Gm-le Hilly" Dodge, stage driver, Alfred Yineent, a young man. and Phineus t'adtvailader. in trodueed. They rome aeross the re mains of u massaere. Hater at Anthony's station, they find the redskins have rar rie.l their destruetive work titer - also. Stella Anthony, daughter of Anthony, keeper of station, is Introduced. Tie trav elers find rfi.it Anthony 1 as been kill 1. Vincent witit letter of introduction to Gov. Stanford is assigned his work, in unearthing plans of enemies of railroad, being built. CHAPTER III.—Continued. "Your first business will be to learn more of the railroad. I'll ask our sec retary. Mr. Miller, to let you have im mediate access to the records. You'd better take a run over the road. That will speak louder in a day than any other record could in a year. As soon as possible you'll go to San Francisco, get in touch with the Mc Lane crowd, McCoppin and our other enemies there and learn what you can of their plans against us." He glanced at. the superintendent. "How can we wedge him in there the quickest, Crocker? It wont do for me to in troduce him” i can nx luai. me situations right in my hand, and no smack of railroad in it, either, i'll send him to Harmon. No one knows that he's to work for us as soon as his term on the bench expires. Mrs. Harmon's the queen bee in society down there. She'll land the young man where we want him. first fling.” "Good enough. But we can't allow you much time in Sun Francisco. Vin cent. You must work fast, mow as wide a swath as you need—don't mind the dollars, be the Boston aristocrat —and get through in time to cut in at Carson City. There's legislation pending in the ‘third house' of that baby legislature over there that we need to know about." Some further instructions ensued and the conference ended. And Alfred was soon engrossed in minutes of di rectors' meetings, supreme court de cisions, newspaper reports and com ments. state and national legislation— everything that would aid in malting him master of the history of the road. He worked fast and thoroughly, in spired anew with enthusiasm for the great business to which he had prom ised allegiance. Back of his ardor lay another spur, desire to see Stella. She was there, where he shortly would be, at the "front.” She had written him of her safe arrival, of Jake Bennett's kind protection, of Mrs. Bennett’s loving care and the invitation to remain with them. CHAPTER IV. The Whip of the Blast. Deep in a small gulch, the red earth bleeding through its torn mantle, crouched a raw little railroad town. Cabins, tents, huts, lean-tos propped against trees, scraps of shops, false fronted stores and "ginmilis” huddled new and paintless between the clasp ing hills. It was an hour before noon when a slender little engine, with spidery wheels and huge, overtopping smoke stack, puffed into the rude shed that was hung up on the mountain side above the town and called by courtesy a depot. A man paced the boards nervously, impatient at the sacrifice of time re quired to meet so indefinite a person age as a telegram-introduced "young man in our employ who wishes to see your work.” The restless man was George Gregory, superintendent of con struction, the human engine that exe cuted the commands of the officers at Sacramento. Alfred presented a letter from the governor, a magic bit of pa per that arrested even George Greg ory's lurid thoughts at the sight of this “dandified ballroom cublet." The atmosphere was decidedly clear er when the superintendent looked up from the letter. “When will you be ready to go over the grading. Mr. Vin cent? I'll have your horse sent any time you say after dinner." "After dinner, sir? The train leaves at two o'clock, doesn't it?” “Vps’ Imr viin'll nnt frr» hark Tn-rlav will you?” “Can't I get to the Front and back by two?" “No, not to the Front: yet you can see nearly all of the completed grade if you start at once. Yo'll miss your dinner, though.” “1 don't wish to incommode you. sir. Could not some other person conduct me? Dinner is unimportant. I must return to-day if possible." A shade of approbation crept into the superintendent's keen glance. “Very well, Mr. Vincent. I'll have your horse in ten minutes. You ride? Our stock is cantankerous at times.' “I ride a iittle: if not well enough. I’ll have to walk.” “Plucky:” thought the older man. as he dispatched a messenger for Alfred's horse and employed the wait in send ing telegrams to the Sacramento office. Meantime Allred wrote a short note to Stella explaining his haste and tell ing her that he would be at the hotel for a moment before he left iu the afternoon, if possible. He had slipped the note with a coin into the stable boy's hand and was in the saddle when the superintendent came out of the hot little box that did duty as a telegraph office, and the two were quickly out on the grade. “So this is the railroad Mr. McLane claims is standing on end and leading up to heaven instead of across the Sierras over Judah's route?” Alfred stopped his horse and looked back through the deep cut. across the deep er ravine where the bridge-builders were at work "That spider web looks wickedly frail," he added. "It's strong enough to hold our fly till we meet our time limit. Plenty of time for stiffening up and filling in afterward.” The horses’ hoofbeats were now ringing clear on bare granite. "Where do you get earth for your fills? The trees here don't seem to have root hold against a summer zephyr.” "That’s one of my small troubles. Sometimes we have to go half a mile afield for soil. And carts—they can't make 'em fast enough. I've got 2,500 men and ">00 carts: but we'll have to double that at once if we make our 50 miles on time. And where under the canopy the men are to come from I can t see. Talk of bricks without straw: Pharaoh's job was easy com pared to miue.” They had pushed on as far as the finished grading and were returning. From the story of the pierced moun tains and from George Gregory Alfred had proved Gov. Stanford's prediction about the "record of the road." It had told him more than words or pages of written details. Gregory looked at his watch and up and down the line of the grading sharply. The noon hour had almost “There's a Little Gal Over Hy; passed. “I guess you can find your way back alone. I'm needed here.” “Aren't you going back—going somewhere for dinner. Mr. Gregory?" "No. 1 guess my stomach's as fast proof as yours." Already his alert eye was elsewhere, and Alfred knew himself dismissed. The superintendent snapped to his watch cover, regardless of the spring. "Blast that Simms! His gang s the last on duty again !■ Good-bye. Mr. Vincent. Come and look us over again." he called, and dashed off toward the of fending foreman. As Alfred passed j on the trail below the superintendent's i far-audible ire followed him. a unique | word panorama, expressible only in j dashes and stars. Muscle-sore, Alfred alighted from his steaming bronco at the depot only five j minutes before two. No time for Stel la unless he stayed over night. Should he do it" Indeed, ought he not to re main to see with his own eyes how she was circumstanced in this rough town" lie remembered his promise to Uncle Billy. Mr. Crocker himself had said Alfred could not get comfortably to the "Front" and back in a day. His answer to Mr. Crocker flashed back on his brain: "No man s comfort should count against railroad business." Thai decided him. To stay meant one day later in San Francisco, one day less to study a situation where any hour might be the hour of fate for the Cen tra) Pacific railroad. The fussy little engine was now facing west, waiting its message from the lever. The signal sounded and the train was starting when a barefooted 1 boy came blowing round the rear car carrying a small package and in formed the conductor breathlessly that it was for "that dandy feller that went off this morning with the boss." "Here!” cried Alfred, reaching down j as the boy ran alongside. Alfred j caught the parcel and threw a coin to the bearer. The train labored slowly up the grade and around the hill while Al fred untied his package. It was a neat luncheon: and wrapped *n the folded napkin was a spray of wild for get-me-not. From Stella! Impulsively he lifted the blossom to his face, and in the action caught the flutter of a ih, Bill Anthony’s Daughter—” Yet the boy grinned. It was glad pro fanity. "Do yon know what's in this. Al?” "Yes. sir; I couldn’t help it." “How’s that?” “I’ve learned the telegraph since I've been messenger.” "The dickens you say! What's your speed?” "1 get most of the press dispatches, sir." "How about sending?" "Not so good, sir; but I'll soon catch up if—" He stopped abruptly. "If what?” "I d rather not say, sir." "On account of the operator?" “He's an O. K. friend to me, sir.” "H'm!" The superintendent mounted and was in full gaiiop toward the sta tion before he was quite sealed. "I shan't forget you. boy," he called back over his shoulder. DEALING WITH Grave Problem That Has Ever Been Before Society. It is a novel idea that any man over 30 years of age who commits a crime may be set down, as a rule, to be mor' ally bad. with no hopes of improve ment. Morality, according to Dr. Belfield, who advances the theorv is the arrest of the instincts by the intellect, says the Chicago Journal. A child is a savage. If he continues to improve slowly he has a chance to outgrow his tendencies before he is 30. If he does not do so. then *<e is hopeless, and Dr. Belfield thinks he should either be imprisoned for life or else put out of the worlu alto gether. Civilization growing more and more averse to capital punishment, will never consent to the cemetery outlet thus suggested. But permanent seg regation in a penal colony would be equally effective. We do not go so J far as Dr. Belfield as to believe that a ! man over 30 who commits a crime 1 woman's gown high on a hill that over topped the track. There stood Stella, a granite boulder for her lookout, be hind her a shining laurel. Her hat hung by its ribbons, her cheeks were glowing from her hurried climb, and the wind fluttered her full skirts and tossed her shining hair. She waved her handkerchief as the train passed. CHAPTER V. The Coming of Uncle Billy. Down the rain-soaked street of the railroad village hastened an alert youth carrying a yellow paper. Where all was hurry, one flying figure more or less would not have been noticed: but this one carried a crutch; one foot was turned backward and hung high above the ground. Yet one forgot to be sorry for the cripple, so quick was he. so shining with gopd nature. Every one called him “boy," though he was 20. “Hello, All What's yo' hurry?" asked a bystander. “You can do mo’ with a stick an' a foot than most folks with two good laigs." "Aw, spare my blushes, Mr. Hen nett! Say. is the old man in the hotel?" “Yes. Can't yo' let him swalleh his dinneh in peace? He don't need but five minutes: an' it ain't often he gits a lick a: Sally R.'s chicken fixin's. He wouldn't to-day if that thar ornery train wa n t two hours late." "Well, this dispatch ’ll help his di gestion." i uuugm >o an want lowed to read the yalleh lightnin'.” “I didn't read it. And—I ain't giving it away. Sabe?” The boy barely halted and was at ; the dining room door when Gregory came out. ' What's the racket. Al?" he said. “A message for me?’’ He spoke a little I thickly, his mouth full of a fast dis appearing apple. The message was brief; and his comment was an explosion of oaths. .Take Bennett and Alvin Carter walked to the station together. They arrived at the station just as the train pulled in. The first passenger through the car door was Uncle Billy. “Why, durn my eyes! What 're yo' all doin' hyah. Bill Dodge?" asked Ben nett as I'ncle Billy stepped to the platform. The two shook hands, but Bennett turned away with a hurried word and disappeared within the station. Uncle Billy gazed blankly toward the office, his face clouding with a d;s Alfred Stopped His Horse and Looked Back Through the Deep Cut. appointment that did not lift while he attended to his scant baggage. The superintendent came out short ly, giving hasty orders to Bennett as the two walked toward the big roan known as the "Boss' Lightning Striker." They passed Uncle Billy; but Bennett's face was a mask till the roan clattered out of sight, when he turned back, another soul looking from his eyes. "How air vo' pegs fo' walkin', you ole bronco buster?" Bennett questioned in a hearty voice, slapping his heavy hand on Uncle Billy's shoulder. They set off briskly and in single file up the steep cur-off that made in one mile the eievation of five miles of grading. "What kin 1 do for vo‘ all. you rotary eyed ole coon?" Bennett asked with another bear cuff as they came abreast. "1 want a job on Charley Crockeh's Dutch Flat stage line. Can I get it?" "You bet yo' bottom dollahl They need men like you. Just chuck vo’ application to Crockeh. anti—no. Go right to Spalding; he's boss of the company's new stage line. But what’s yo' all’s grouch agin the old man?" "Haven't any in particuiah. There’s a little gal oveh hyah. Bill Anthony’s daughter—” “Shore. We tuck her in fur vo' sake; kep' her fo' her own. The ole woman's dead stuck on her; wanted her to stay right along, but she wouldn't.” "That's her. all right. You remem ber Bill Anthony?” “Reckon I do. He's that gold-plated ole cuss tnat built a sort o suburb to the Golden City over mar in Washoe, ain't he?" "Same. But the Injuns got him; an' the girl has no relations that she knows of; so I sent her oveh hyah to you. I want to be noah her. and-—” Bennett's nudge sent Uncle Billy off the trail. "You ole Mormon! Ain't thinkin' o' ma-ryin' her yo'self, are ye?” “Well, by jiminy! I'm not that kind of a sardine. She's 18. maybe, and I'm squinting at my fiftieth birthday. If I'd had a daughteh, an' she was like Stelia Anthony, the prince o' Wales wouldn't be good enough for her. See where I'm driving?" They came suddenly to the pick torn engine path where Bennett's gang were spiking the "chairs" over the flanges of the rails to the ties. Instantly banter and familiarity van ished. and Jake Bennett became the quiet, lynx-eyed overseer. They had surprised the men working wTell under the temporary foreman; yet Uncle Billy saw a sweep of fresh energy speed down the line, as the under man i took up his hammer and Bennett i swiftly examined the work done in his | absence. He spoke scarcely a word, j but his "straight" eye saw every poor , joint, each badly set "chair," and his own hands often assisted in the read justing. When he returned to the end of the section where Uncle Billy was waiting he said. The boss has powerful good news to-day. That dispatch was a copy of one the governor got from Huntington at Washington. The rail road bili's passed, an' the C. P. com pany's got anotheh yeah on the fust 50 miles an' right smart mo' land be sides." (TO BE CONTINUED.) THE CRIMINAL is therefore necessarily a moral idiot. One experience of punishment has been enough for many men past that age. But when a man is undeterred by , punishment and goes on committing | one crime after another, then we think society owes it to itself to take i stern measures. Such a man should j be adjudged a habitual and irre- j claimable criminal, and removed from j society. But, on the other hand, hon- I est men should not be burdened with j the cost of supporting him. He should be forced to earn his own living. Far From It. Former Resident —How things have changed here in 20 years'. 1 wouldn't know tiie town Wh. ' . is become of Floogus, wk 1 *■> notes and lend money a■ tw e. ti a month? Hotel Clerk—1> gone to his re ward. Former Resident—What! Is he dead ? Hotel Clerk—Dead? Not or. your life! He’s president of a trust com pa v in New York. I’m Coming Home. Oli. breath of June from the woodland, Oh. scent of the stream and fields. Oh. droning winds that are whisp ring Of peace that the country yields— I'm coining home: Oh. lilies floating in bayous, I Oh, islands of rustling reed. Oh, willows bending above them. Oh, daisies of fragrant mead— I'm coming home! Oh, fields that wave like the ocean, Oh, billows that ebb and flow. Oil. groves that shelter the birdlings. Oh. banks where the sunsets glow— I’m coming home! Oli, maiden, fair as the flowers. With eyes that arc soft and blue. Await to-night by the arbor. A-tryst for your lover true— I'm coming home! Mumble-the-Peg. An illustration entitled ' Pulling the Peg " brings recollections. The man who would not smile broadly at the picture is "fit for strategies and such " The illustration shows a number of boys on a grassy plot, all down on their haunches, their knees or their stomachs, intensely interested in ob serving an unlucky comrade pulling the wooden peg from the ground with his teeth. ☆ * ☆ It is an old game, as old as the Pyramids of Egypt and as honored among boys as Sunday school. It is the subsequent farce that follows a game of "mumble-the-peg.” The most indifferent player must pull the wood en stick from the soil. The length and size of the peg is regulated by very strict and well known rules. Being prepared the peg is set in the grassy earth and each boy may take a whack at it with the back of his knife, hold ing the blade as a handle, until the peg is driven down. down, no matter how deep, provided there is still anoth er whack due the last boy. ☆ * * Then the fun begins! Down on his knees with his nose in the grass goes the unlucky lad. like a gopher digging a hole in the meadow. The fortunate boys "ki-yi” and hoot, laugh and shout uproariously as the face of the dig ger comes up covered with dirt, his mouth full of soil and lips sputtering to dispel the gravel. Down he goes again, amid the plaudits of his fel lows. His nose is almost flat so hard is he pressing the earth after the peg. After spitting out several mouthfuls of Mother Earth, he can reach the peg with his teeth. He takes a strong grip on the wood and pulls. Either the peg comes up or his teeth break off! Usually he gets the peg. To miss getting it would be to stand the taunts of his playmates for days! In after life when he goes after big projects he remembers the tenacity of purpose cultivated with "mumble-the peg." and he wins. ☆ ☆ ☆ Hence the playful game of youth is not without its lesson. It may be untidy, but men do worse things for money or for power, when the peg is deep, than rub a little dirt on their physiognomies—they rub it on their hearts and their consciences and cover over their sympathies with plating: ail of which is worse than the smear ing of a little soil on the face in an innocent game of "pulling the peg." Trouble. i When father digs th' mow-machine Fr'm out th' hay-mow chaff. An' goes an’ gits the oiler can. While ma she kinder !afs. T know that trouble has begun. An’ I gist gTah my bait an' run! When mother goes out In th' yard An’ measures with a stick, I Then gits th' little pack of seeds An' plans to sow them thick, I know that trouble has begun. An' I gist grab my bait an' run. Say! spring would be gist twic't as nice Without house cleanin’ time An' things to tote outside an’ in An’ cellar steps to climb! I know then trouble has begun An' I gist grab my bait an’ run. If spring would come wiih only spring. An' nothin’ else in sight But suckers in th' old mill race That flop around an' bite— There wouldn't be a thing but fun When I grab up my bait an- run! ®-®-® Thieves. Once upon a time a man stole a hot stove—and the people marveled. He completely overshadowed the man who stole the acorns from the blind mamma-pig. Now comes a man who steals a wagonlnad of unwrapped lim burger from a cheese factory in Utica. The man is in jail. He should be giv en a life sentence. A man who will steal a wagonload of smell like that, cannot he trusted. He might filch a snap factory or a political caucus. One never could tell what this man would do in a pinch. Once liberated he might purloin a royal scandal or a glue plant. Keep him tinder lock and key until after wash day, anyhow! A Pair “An Ohio hen cliews tobacco." says an exchange. Chewing tobacco ought to tie confined to all animals that can not spit ... A Massachusetts hen laid an egg with a quarter in it. We have al ways heard that there Is money in hens. —Logan (0.1 Republican. Help! A person can get a good drink at the drug store nearly any time now. as the doctor has had a new well drilled.—Bur lington (Colo. I Republican. An Art Critic. “This art craze is going too far.” said Blunt, when a pot of paint fell from a second-storv window and struck him on the head. "No more decorated tiles for me," he mournfully added, as he began to scrape the yel low paint oft his silk hat with a knife. The Ills We Are Heir To. There are three modes of bearing the ills of life—by indifference, which Is the most common; by philosophy, which is the most ostentatious, and by religion, which is t e most effectual. * WOMEN’S KIDNEYS. Arc the Source of Most of Women's Sickness. Mrs. Rebecca Mock, 1793 E Rich Street. Columbus, Ohio, writes: “I be lieve 1 would sun tM a victim of kidney troubles but for Doan's Kdiney Pills, for when I started using them I was in constant pain with mv back, and r.o nthpr rpmodv K.rl been of any use. The kidney secre tions were irregular, and 1 was nerv ous and lacked energy, nut Doan' Kidney Fills gave me prompt relief and continued use cured me " Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffai , N Y. Par.ts for the Orphans. There is a praiseworthy cu \ m ’n some families of sending all ’he ‘'pants1' that the bcvs have gone through wholly or in part, to the asy lum for orphans, and, as the orphans never mind a hole more or less, th^y are glad to get tne garments. In one of these families a few days aeo oc curred a little incident hearing on this laudable custom. Fred was engaged in that extremely fascinating hut rather dangerous, sport of sliding down the banisters. “What are you doing there. Fred ?“ asked mamma. “Making pants for the ptxtr lit-ilo orphans." answered Fred. Easy Victory for Pat. An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotchman were one day arguing as to which of the three countries pos sessed the fastest trains. , Said the Englishman. “Well. I've been in one of our trains and the tele graph poles have been like a hedge.” "I've seen the milestones appear like tombstones,” said the Scot. "Be jabers." said Pat. "I was one day in a train in my country and we passed a field of carrots, a field of turnips, a field of parsley, one of onions and then a pond of water, and we were going so fast that I though: I it was broth!” BABY’S ITCHING HUMOR. Nothing Would Help Him—Mother Al most in Despair—Owes Quick Cure to Cuticura. “Several months ago. my little boy began to break out with itching sores. I doctored him. but as soon as I got them healed up in one place they would break out in another. I was almost in despair. I could not get anything that would help him. Then I began to use Cuticura Soap and Cuti cura Ointment, and after using them • three times, the sores commenced to heal. He is now well, and not a scar is left on his body They have never returned nor left him with bad blood, as one would think. Cuticura Reme i dies are the best I have ever tried. and I shall highly recommend them to i any one who is suffering likewise. Mrs. William Geeding. 102 Washing ton St., Attica, lad., July 22, 1907.” A Dreadful Secret. Wife—Have you any secrets you keep from me, dearest? Husband—Ncne, darling. Wife—Then I am determined I will have none from you. either. Husband—Have you secrets, then” Wife—Only one. and 1 am resolved to make a clean breast of it. Husband (hoarsely)—Go on' Wife—For several days 1 have had a secret—a secret longing for a n*-w dress, wi;h bat to match, for my birth day. That fetched him.—Tatler. HOW TO TEST LINSEED OIL There is nothing that will make paint go wrong on the house mo~e quickly than poor oil. It is as bad in its way as adulterations in the white lead. Petroleum oil cheapeners may be detected by placing a drop of th'* oil on a black painted surface. If one sees the characteristic Iridescence or play of colors which kerosene exhibits, it is evidence of adulteration. Corn and fish oil can be detected by the smell. Adulteration in white lead can best be discovered by the use of a blow pipe. which National Lead Company will send with instructions free to anyone interested in paint. Address. National Lead Company, Woodbridge Building. New York. After you know some people »vl you are apt to regret the politeness you wasted on them. Garfield Tea is a natural laxative—it reg ulates the digestion, purities the blood, cleanses the system, cleurs the complexion, brightens the eyes and brings the gl av of splendid Health! Some men are so afraid of doing wrong that they don't do anything It’s Pettit's Eye Salve, that gives instant relief to eyes, irritated from dust, heat, sun or wind. 25c. All drug gists or Howard Bros., Buffalo, 2s. V. Hugging by another came would be squeezing, just the same. You always get full value in lewis’ Pingl • Binder s'raight 5c cigar. Vuur dealer or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111. Character is what you are; reputa tion is what people think you are. tin. Wlnalow’s Soothing Syrup. For children teething, softens the gurus, reduces to damtnstloa, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25c a UotUe. The reward of one duty done Is the power to fulfill another.—George Eliot.