KAYKI.ING leisure
ly from the far
west to New York
TJb ami I had left
the autocratic pot
ter and his vesti
lutletl h o m e a t
lleanrilic—I won't
tut me t he state
in an idle quest
for tourmalines and amethyst, orien
found in that locality. * horse dealer
had told us of the place, and llh ini
mediately took a fancy to loiter about
• few days. It was while at Kean
Tille that we heard of Tanker s Mills,
33 miles hack in the mountains. It
was connected with the outside world
largely by heart-throbs, for the rough
country road evident!.' was construe!
<*d while the workmen were entertain
ing the delirium tremens.
“It seems that at the dose of Un
civil war the only insane asylum in
the state burned down, and 'hat »
score of the Inmates in escaping the
flames wandered up to I ankers and
took possession of a few deserted
cabins As the commonwealth was
bedridden with debt, and as the little
colony was quiet and gave no trouble
the authorities decided to leave it
alone to iiiarxet ns ;
In the settlement were several men of
unusual culture, perfectly rational ex
cept on some one subject, aiul as they
controlled the weaker-minded and
more perfectly crazy inhabitants, the
taxpayers were glad to he rid of the
■whole outfit. As the years passed, the
colony grew, and the individual
streaks of non compos were relegated
to and merged in a general plane of
oddity. It became the custom when
a man or woman got daffy to take
them up there to board. The ruined
shacks bad given place to neat frame
houses, and the queer people took the
best of care of any sufferers from the
outside world and often sent them
back cured. Funny graft, eh? Tib
said it was a case of sitniiia similibes
curantur. And. mind you. those peo
pie weren't rank crazy They averaged
enough rationality to prosper and to
care for an occasionally valient voter.
But they were peculiar, eccentric, and
of course every tittle while some one
would got to teiepho tig to himself
and cufling up didoes
-•We are all batty on some one sub
ject,' he declared to me. I'm san»
until it. conies to shows. Another Is
evenly balanced until it conies to
north poles, and so ! goes. I'll b;*t
those simple folk are more rational
than the average alderman.'
"To cut across lots, wo came to
Tanker's at nightfall and saw from
the brow of a bill a scattering settle
meat of white holism As we entered
the main street we observed a grocery
store, a blacksmith shop and a small
ball. And what surprised us was the
busy-bee activity of ;t crowd of men
bunched in front of the village
smithy's place of business.
■ What's doing, fair and merry
sirs™ accosted Tib. cheerily, in his old
free-and-easy way. a- v.e pedaled up to
the gang.
"Instantly they turned, and an oil
man with u Chris K ingle li**ard star*
ed back as though faced l>;. a ho upnl
cobra, and with one dramatic, lean
linger pointed at us. cried. By my
faith! he has conn-! it is he!'
" Odd bodkins, put him to death!'
cheerfully advised au urchin, who im
pressed my startled gaze as being IS
feet in height.
‘‘‘Odd Hooligans! cried Tib. \nd
why?
"Well, sir, the n’d man threw bark
liis head and pealed out a laugh that
sounded about as mellow as a rusty
buzz-saw eating a ruck-maple knot,
and as he chortled in unseemly glee
he ejaculated. Walked into the trap!
Stap my vitals, and had he called on
me at St. James, or Whitehall. 1 had
not been more surprised.'
“From his tone 1 realized, sir. that
we were about as popular with them
as a safety deposit vault full of soar
let fever germs. Tib was impressed
after the same fashion. for he whis
pered to me:
wnai s up. isur. n ue w- s'ruc'v
them at the harvest time of lunacy?
Their speech savors of ye oMen time
and good Queen Bess, sitli ii pleas
ye.' Then lie asked aloud. Kindly
identify us. reverend sir. and then
yourselves.'
Monmouth, thou wert eyer a
false-hearted knave, but prithee, didst
think to dull my royal eyes by tha*
disguise?- demanded the ringleader of
the mental aberrations in his shrill
voice
Nay. sire. denied Tib. looking
hack only fo behold all escape cut. off
‘And you are—?
Your uncle, sirrah. King .lames!
was the stern response.
‘"Strike me purple. Billy!- whis
pered Tib, hut we are invaders, and
if I recall my history rightly. Mr
Monmouth lost his heart.
I say, old chap, this is getting
tiresome,- I murmured to Tib Tei
em 1 m plain Billy Campbell and a
etanch supporter of the throne '
"-A Campbell!- shrieked Kin?
.Tames. Ay, smite me bleeding, bul
I know the foul Scottish brood! Bul
Argyle or Campbell, ye shall bang anc
change from the quick to the dead
more readily *hs.n ever ye shifted
tiliases.
Probably some one has opened i
quart bottle of pieasuroid,- murmured
Tib, and they are unduly excited foi
the minute. Anyway, if they are goint
to behave like this. I don’t care ho*
soon we desert them. I feel like at
historical romance.
But, sir, the minute we tried tc
turn we were surrounded. And wha
do you suppose those oddities wen
armed with? Pikes, sir. pikes! \m
that was what the smithy war. bus;
turning out. As a rule. Tib’s air o
confidence would incite a cowardly
pug dog to throw rocks at an elephant
but he was a bit puzzled over this situ
aJBERIUS SMITH •
The Brain Tangle at Tanker’s Mills
-By HUGH PENDEXTER
a:ion. We'tl net lots of heathens and
irresponsible persons in our day. but
once you realized their status you
could dope out their susceptibilities
and comprehend the logical trend of
their intentions Hut a score of incom
petents might glide front one person
silty to another at any second and
pitlck us from one epoch only to plant
us in another, and in every event
would probably insist that we hold
tint most otiery cards and lie soundly
spanked
" It's no use. Karl of Argyle. to
dodge our identity.' remarked Tib to
me. gravely. Then to the king. Yes.
I am Monmouth, your dutiful nephew,
come all the way front Brabant to kiss
your august hand '
The crowd of peasants jeered at
this admission, and one stalwart rogue
seemed determined to explore on.'
physical systems with his long prod
der 'Nay. nay.' prohibited the king
Their seeming frankness shall avail
them naught, but retribution must
overtake them in an orderly manner.
My laud Chief Justice Jeffreys shall
try them, in the meantime lay them
in tile tower with the spy who was
captured three days ago.'
We were enamored with even this
respite, for Tib declared it was an ill
omen to lie slaughtered in front of a
prosaic blacksmith's shop. and. sur
' rounded by the pikemen. we were
! dragged to the little town hall and
I thrust inside. Hello, spy. where are
you;' demanded Tib. sparring neatly
through the open window to one of
the guards want to earn 5W cants?'
"The man jabhed at us playfully
with his spear and mumbled some
thing about the king.
' 'See?' cried Tib. 'the old one ha*
led these poor incompetents into be
lieving lie's king and they are hi* sub
jects.' Then to the guard again, tak
ing care to keep out of range: What's
your name, fellow? Not your stage
name, hut your real name?'
The guard looked puzzled for a
moment, and then replied, slowly:
‘Why. I was always called AI Sntiklns.
btit since the king come I'm Colonel
Kirke. That's me. Kirke.'
When did the king come?' soothed
Tib.
" Why, let's see. Yes. it was just
before the blackness s°itled down.'
and the guard grinned triumphantly at
remembering thus much. Sic and Jed
Biifkins. hint that's my Lord Chief
Justice Jeffreys now. had just got
bark from selling some garden truck
in Ueanville. But I forgit. There
ain't any Beanville now. It's Brabant,
and this is Kngland. Hooray for King
; James' Stand hack from that winder,
i ye poisonous critter!' and we all three
j leaped aside just in time to escape be
ing decorated with the pike And if
; ye git sassy I'll climb in there and
larrup ye.' warned the yeoman, in con
i elusion.
'• (Jrantercy for thy courtesy
growled Tib. rubbing his barked
kuyckles 'If ever I catch ye chasin'
and they decided th* spy can live, *s
he warned m of your coming.'
"'Hooray!' shouted the drummer,
with a vulgar display of enthusiasm.
" 'Shut up!' growled Tib. 'So you
foretold our coming, eh?’
‘“Sure; had to. to save my hide,’
grinned the drummer, happily. 'Of
course it was only con on my part,
but luckily it worked out all hunkey.
All's well that ends well, you know.’
" You needn't be so devilish gay
over it.’ snapped Tib, ’or you’ll find
it's sad work to double-cross even the
pretender.'
" 'Oil, come now.' whined the drum
mer. you fellers wouldn't spike a poor
man's game! Don't you see, just as
soon as i get to Rcanville I’ll catch a
constable ami come back and rescue
you both.'
" No ye won’t,’ chuckled the guard,
whom we'd forgotten. ’Cause King
James says ye can't go till after
they've been executed, whatever that
means—for danged if I do. And before
ye go, we re going to brand tin* word
"traitor" on your brow.'
"Well, that doubled the drummer all
up. lie tried to bribe the guard to run
up to the comer store and beg the
king to modify the sentence. I I give
two dollars if you'll get him to change
his mind and brand me on the leg or
in tin- newspapers,' he offered, hyster
ically.
" Odds tomatoes!' I whispered to
Tib. 'but we must leave here in very
300th.’
"BY MY FAITH! HE HAS COME! IT IS HE."
j to ward off any possible attack, as he
i endeavored to peer through the dark
: ness.
" '! say. fellers. I'll admit you're all
I kings, hut for heaven's sake concede
i I'm only a drummer from Buffalo!'
' h-'gged a weak voice, and a tall, thin
man. very much frightened, humbly
approached os. hat in hand, and stood
where the light tillered through the
window and made his angular form
look willowy.
“ 'Odds fish, hut ye are petitioning
the wrong court. I ant only the un
happy Monmouth.* groaned Tib.
“‘Crazy as an owl!' whimpered the
drummer. Say. king, help me to get
1 out of this and I'll send you down the
' best spring-tooth harrow made.’
"Well, sir, Tib was so intent in
I trying to recall his Monmouth lines
that 1 had to take the drummer aside
and convince him of our good inten
1 tions and sanity. Rut, Lord, sir! he
was suspicious. He'd been cooped up
for three days and was beginning to
hear bees in his own belfry. But after
I'd told him who was president and
, had named the capitals of 30 states.
‘ he agreed we might be what we didn't
seem. 'For,' he concluded, conflden
j tially, ‘if ever I saw a trifling light
i glint in a man’s eye it is your part
i ner's there.'
j “ 'Alack a day.' muttered Tib. ‘plots
and more plots! Now, see here, chil
dren, we've got to play our parts until
the general intellect of this town
clears up a hit. This head fanatic is
i some college professor. 1 guess, and
he’s hypnotized himself into believing
for the moment that he’s .Tames of
England. Now we must humor him
or he’ll never recover. So. try and
inhale the same kind of dope, and at
the first opening we'll leave bloody
England for the quiet shores of Bean
ville. Hi, you halberdier!' he cried
the stag at Epping we'll have this out
to a finish, my lad.'
“ 'Say. boss.' sobbed the drummer,
don't talk like that when we're alone.
It unhinges me. I feel myself going.'
“ ‘A murrain take thee. Go to, thou
[ knave!' I sneered.
*' ‘Beautiful, Billy, beautiful!' con
gratulated Tib. Let's wear the purple
while we can and play our parts to
| the finish. This poor varlet has sub
i mitted to captiivty for three days and
1 will wind up by waiting on a foolish
I counter for life. Now, sirrah, hark
j ye. We leave this place to-night. If
ye ever want to sec Brabant again,
silence!'
“ ‘How are we to work it, Tib?' I in
quired: for the quaintness of our peril
was getting into my bones.
“‘I'm Monmouth until we get back
to Bean-Brabant,' reminded Tib, sim
ply. ‘Well, earl, 1 shall try to start a
revolution.'
“As he said this a hearty hammer
ing caused us to creep to the window
on the other side of the building and
steal a peep. And what do you think,
sir? Why, those poor, hard-hearted
idiots were building a gibbet! it sim
ply swept the drummer oft his feet.
‘Oh, Monmouth,’ he wailed, 'save this
one fool! What an idiot l was, with all
the United States to live in. that I
had to come down here to be slaugh
tered by a counterfeit!'
“ ‘Well, well,' murmured Tib, purs
ing up his lips and drawing up his
rotund form. 'This does look kind of
serious. We must get word to Bean
ville, yet the guards won't allow one
of us to slip through the window and
there's no one to carry a message.
Odd situation, isn’t it?'
“ 'I say, you feliers—I mean, Mon
mouth,’ called out the guard, poking
his head into the window—‘King
James has just broken up his council
"Then what was becoming an ex
tremely unlovely situation, with the
busy hammers clanging away on the
gibbet and the tall Jasper at the win
dow trying to make gimlets in our
legs with his pike, was given a new
direction by a lusty shout at the front
door and the sound of a voice crying:
'Hooray! A Monmouth! A Monmouth!’
And then the portal was cast down
and my Lord Ezra Somebody bawled
forth: Hello, folkses. Where be ye?'
“ And come ye in peace here, or
come ye in war?’ demanded Tib, while
the drummer shuddered and protested
that our visitors were as welcome as
burglars.
" We're friendly. Hooray for Mon
mouth!’ cried the rabble.
“ ’Let the portcullis fall and enter,’
Invited Tib. Then to me: 'Don't you
see. we're rescued. When the leading
fay hypnotized this weak-minded
chorus into viewing him as his majes
ty- King James, he necessarily supplied
the whole suggestion; that, is, the
suggestion of a Monmouth, eke our re
ception. The last implied a handful of
supporters, and now we'll leave this
dungeon, raise the west, and the in
sane equation is completed. James
has created a Frankenstein that will
devour him.’
“ Say, I knew a feller once named
Fleckenstein. He traveled—' began
the drummer, eagerly; but ‘Hist, vas
sal,’ commanded one of the newcom
ers, and he histed.
“'The floor grew warm under our
prancing feet as we hurried to leave
thw hall. The halberdier leaned In the
window, and, eyeing us curiously,
cried: Ye didn’t git out by th’ winder,
did ye? I was told ter guard it, and,
by gum, I have!’ But he made no
move to stop our passing through the
I door, aud Tib swore he was a mau
with a heart la his bosom. On the
other side of the keep the volunteer
cabinet makers kept pounding away at
the gibbet and recked us not, although
one blur whistled with sinister shrill
ness. f.et lOrin Remember.'
' Our new captors numbered about
a dozen and watched us keenly, al
though accepting T1h as their master.
For when we tried to say good night
and sneak away after our wheels they
caused us to hesitate and informed us
we would be piked to death if we
made another break. ‘We've left our
hoein' to stand by ye. an' don't ye dast
to caper any.' warned one.
“ ‘I trow we shall not part in scorn,'
assured Tib.
" Then let that tall feller stop his
rantin',' remonstrated another.
“ Beshrew me,' groaned the drum
mer, keeping close to us; 'but say. fel
lers, this isn't real, is it? I’m still
traveling for the Buffalo house, ain’t
[?'
“ ‘I don't know why we took any
body besides Monmouth for,' declared
the leader, stopping short and eying
us evilly. ‘Before this queer spell
come on I don’t remember as we had
any call ter rescue anybody but Mon
mouth.
"'Lets kill th other two. suggested
a corn-haired boy. cheerfully.
"'Hold!' roared Tib. 'These two
men we all wot of are leal and true.
Who touches a hair of their gray
heads—'
" 1 snum, but ye're touchy, I guess!'
broke in the corn-haired youth. I
onlv want ter do what's right. If ye
don't, want 'em killed, say so. I didn't
think twould make no difference I'm
sartin no one would miss either on
’em.'
"We were now clear of the mn!n
street and apparently leaving the s.
tlement. 1 had an idea of dodging into
the hushes and escaping, but Tib wills
pered we would accomplish nothing
pxcept to alienate our few faithful
followers. 'Taunton will receive us
warmly,’ he added, and I suddered.
He said it so earnestly that I feared
his intellect was looping the loop, and
I'm sure the drummer felt the noose.
Then our adopted parents quickened
the piace and conversation was killed
by the high hill we r.ow began to
climb. It seeniPd as if we'd been on
that hill for years. In pausing to look
back on the lights of the village it
seemed as if cries of rag.* were fret
ting the balmy summer night, and 1
could hear the drummer's teeth clink
ing like pebbles in a tin can.
" 'Marry, come up.' quoth Tib af
last; 'whence are we hearing?' And
in the moonlight 1 saw the old fellow
was mopping the sweat from h:s round
face.
" ' Can't we call on th • overseer of
the poor, or at a drug store, and get a
bite to eat?' moaned the drummer. I
have had naught, fair sirs
" flood form!' cried 'l ib, approving
" Oh, I'm going fast.' whimpered
the drummer. 'It seems real to me
now, aud if I only had a flooded ha wk,
or a baldric, I'd be doing a huntsman’s
stunt. But, honest, fellers. I've had
nothing in my stomach but rain wafer
for three days. And 1 had to steal
that out of a barrel by the window
when the archers were plurir.g hors -■
shoe on the green. I could eat a
mustard plaster or a cent of arms.'
"I suggested that we stop and rest,
and the guards for a wonder were
willing. I could see. too, they were
uneasy. Tib said it was because thej
didn't know what to do next, being re
moved from the zone of the king's in
fluence. 1 rockon ho hit it right, for
the corn boy swore he was going back
and ask his majesty for further in
structlons. By this time the drummer
had gone light-headed and persisted in
reciting 'The Wreck of the Hesperus.'
Tib augmented the corn boy's deeiara
■ ;-:- x
“I Say Fellers, I’ll Admit You're All
Kings.”
tion by announcing: 'Califs, we’ll all
go back and hunt up the klug We’ll
keep him with us. so we'll always
know just what to do.'
"But we mustn't hurt him.’ expostu
lated one. ‘Old Freeman Ilucky is
one of the best old souls in Tanker's
Mills. Lord! Where'd I get that
name? Sounds mighty familiar, too.'
And the last was in deep perplexity.
" 'Say, fellers, can’t we break into
one of those barns and git some oats
to eat?' babbled the drummer. ’A dish
► _ * j
of nice, clean oats would took mighty i
good to me.'
“•Ye varmint!' cried Com llair; IT
ye don't shut up I'll use th' goad on
ye. I tell ye, boys, we re all goin' ter
feel sorry if we don't kill this chap.
Th' king said we'd got ter kill some
body.' But Tib ajiti ! pacified bint and
explained' there was no gain in slaying
an insect, and at last we were march
I ing towards the Tillage.
•‘ ‘It's time to duck, I whispered to
f Tib.
" ‘Let's first get a w hack at King
I James.' he pleaded. 'And. Billy, what
’ if we catch him and lock him up?
And Down the Steep Hill We Sped.
Won't that make me ruler of Tanker's
Mills? We'd be so cut off from inter
ference that probably we could run
lhis place as a monarch; all summer.
\ud do you know I've always hank
ered to wear the purple.'
‘‘‘Not for a gold mine.' I objected,
now fearing that his dreams of empire
Would cause him to cut up for I
knew that he would just like to sway
the scepter ov»r Tanker's Mills,
despite the fact that a despotism with
in the United Status is incongruous.
" I'm going to pause long enough to
devour that pump.' interrupted the
drummer, now walking like a drunken
man.
■ We were entering tin- village at the
time, and only Co: n Hair's promise to
assassinate him held him to the path.
Then, whom should w» meet, practical
ly unattended, but King .lames hint
“.•■If. 'Out. on thee arrant knave" h"
cried, on beholding Monmouth. Ho.
warden! ho men at arms! Hither. I
I command thee!’
"'Not on your life!' howled the
drummer, coming ■<> his senses and
clapping his suf' hat over his majes
ty's mouth.
"'Hold him.' cried Tib. in a low
voice, applying his handkerchief to
the august arms ami thus reversing
history. Now. march him quietly to
the town hall.'
Say. fellers, don't yc dare hurt
ft.man Mucky." warned one of the
guards, as with poor grace they al
lowed us to drag the old man along
Several of them a’s > incited gay feel
ings hv producing cou se looking jack
knives.
Ni harm sh i.: net an a single
whisker in his venerable beard, gentle
sirs.' vouchsafed Till, straining his
eyes to catch a glimpse of the much
prayed-for bikes.
"Our insurgents then hurst into a
song of abus - a!!j threw down their
cartel cf defiance, and said they were
tired of a fat old Monmouth and that
they would change allegiance and aid
King James' followers in executing us
on the now-finished gibbet. By this
time we were ciose to the little hall,
and in the bright moonlight could ad
mire every detail of the clumsy yet
businesslike-looking gallows. What
added to our fear was the sound of
shouting in the hail, where, through
| Hie lighted windows, we beheld a mot
ley group of scamps, dancing and wav
ing home-made weapons. But just
then, like a beacon-light to the hope
less mariner, we caught the friendly
twinkle of our bikes' frames, and with
on“ accord we pushed the king against
i the deserters and. as they tumbled
j and romped on the ground, we bent
j our tiot footsteps towards the goal.
| “It. a second, it seemed, the hall
- had disgorged more enemies, and the
| whole pack were after us as we gained
our perambulators and tried to hop the
saddles.
“ Where do 1 come in. Monmouth?’
howled the drummer.
■‘‘Lord, if we haven't forgotten the
spy!’ cried Tib. ‘Here. Stiver, jump
up behind me. Nay. choke in * not en
tirely with thy caresses. Now. hang
tight and steal away.'
I And down the steep hill into the
1 black shadows we sped, with a fren
| zied mob of King James' men in fear
■ some pursuit. When we reached the
; level and began climbing the next hill
| they all but had us. But just as they
j would have gathered us to their bosom
i we reached the crest anti slid from
| view. And the way the drummer clung
; to Tib would cause the champion trick
cyclist to blush for inability.
• And so we left them in all their
glory and made Deauville in safety.
And what do you think, sir! When
we’d lodged complaint, and a posse of
constables had gone over to Tanker s
to straighten out the general brain
tangle, they found no trace of the
King James germ. But instead old
Freeman Hucky was in the midst of
J the belief that he was an algebraic [
\ equation that wouid never be solved 1
i if he kept perfectly quiet. And as he
, didn't wish to be solved. Tanker's was
J the most peaceful place on the map, j
and, so l’ar as 1 know, lias never met
j with royalty since the time Tib and I
j joggled the throne."
INSIGNIA OF UK
MARKS THAT TELL THE VARIOUS
GRADES IN NAVV.
Some Devices Designed by Martha
Washington and Other Colonial
Dames—History Written
Into Gold Braid.
Boston.- There aie very "few men
who can distinguish an admiral from
a lieittenatii by the- uniforms they
wear. There is probably not a single
naval demonstration Where nine o'ii
cers out of ten are not confounded b>
the majority of the spectators.
The same principles underlie the
navy insignia as are present in those
of the army. There is a picturesque
story of the way these came into be
ing. The choosing of the marks of
rank in the arm.' and navy, the Story
runs, was left after the revolution to
some of the leading ladies of the coun
try If legend is to be believed Mar
lha Washington is- ies|ionsible for
some of the devices. The whole world
was drawn upon hv 'he resourceful
colonial dailies for suggestions. The
heavenly bodies were appropriately
called upon to contribute devices for
the highest ranks From them came
the stats most coveted b. men in the
army and navy.
Descending to earth the eagle was
availed of as most a'ppiopriate afte
the stars, because of ps courage and
lofty flight. For lessci tanks, all most
honorable and awful notwithstanding,
the leaves and i. iit of the oak tree.
admiral
R£AT? ADMIRAL
CAPTAIN
commamder
LIEUTENANT
JUNIOR LIEUTENANT.
E.NSIGN.
Insignia That Tell Various Grades in
Navy.
i noble in proportions and emblematic
of strength, were chosen. The anchor,
being distinctive of the navy, was used
10 indicate it especially.'
In all the insignia silver is chosen
to rank above the gold, because if
usually lies near the surface, and so
nearer the heavens,
i Anyone versed in the marks of rank
i in the navy can tei! at a glance not
only the relative importance of the
! individual among his fellows, but not
infrequently what especial work is as
signed to them.
"There comes an admiral.” says the
friendly tar who has ventured to guide
you through the navy yard.. For the
life of you. what makes him an ad
miral at a glance you cannot tell.
From the dignity of his bearing he
might be of any exalted rank. His
distinguishing mark on the collar is
four silver stars with a gold fouled
anchor under each of the outer ones
If he were a rear admiral he would
wear two silver stars with a silver
fouled anchor between them. The
; signs of rank are worn on the collar
| except iu full dress, when they appear
| on the shoulder strap.
The captain who meets one on
board the ship has ho stars on his
collar, but a silver spread eagle in
the center with a silver fouled anchor
on either side. The officer who wears
a silver oak leaf on eithpr side of a
silver fouled anchor is a cotiimandei.
The same device in gold indicates a
lieutenant commander. Lieutenants
are show n by two silver bars on either
side of a silver fouled anchor. If they
are of the junior grade they wear one
bar instead of two. Knsigns wear
only the silver fouled anchor. All the
above officers are commissioned offi
cers of the line.
There are in addition aboard a ship
the commissioned corps officers, the
warrant officers and the petty officers.
The same devices that the line of
ficers wear are also worn by the corps
officers on their epaulets on the cen
ter of their shoulder straps, but the
latter wear in addition certain devices
to denote their corps department. Of
ficers of the medical corps wear a
spread oak leaf in gold, with a silver
acorn on il. Officers of the pay corps
have a silver -oak spray., If a silver
eagle is combined with these devices
it indicates respt>ctively, medical di
rector and pay director. The engineer
corps has been made one with the line
officers so that they no longer have
any corps device.
Some of the devices of the .petty of
fleers are not very intelligible at first
sight, and a single device does service
to identify several. •
WA Y BRIDGET VIEWED IT
A lady, wealthy and socially prom
inent, once sought 10 break iu a new
Irish maid-servant by putting her at
answering door. The very first day, it
chanced that a certain distinguished
and titled Italian gentleman called
during the lady’s absence. In broke/.
English the foreigner asked for the
mistress, and, being told that she was
not at home, left his card and went
away. When the lady returned she a’
r once inquired of the new girl if any
one had called while she was away.
"Yis, mum." answered the girl, care
lessly nodding toward the card re
ceiver; "an' he left his caird.”
Picking up this card and perceiving
the titled foreigner's name thereon,
the lady became visibly agitated.
"Oh, Bridget,” she exclaimed, “I’m
so sorry 1 wasn't at home' when this
gentleman called!"
"Sure,” was the disdainful reply,
"un' ye didn't miss anything, mum!"
Her mistress stured at her in amaze
ment.
"Bridget, what do you mean?"
"Th' dago didn't have his hand or
gan wid ’im!”—Illustrated Sunday
Magazine.
A Mixture of Terms.
“Miss Jones does lovely things in
burnt wood.”
“I heard she was a great pyro
maniac."—Baltimore American.
TOBACCO AT YALE
Of 331 men in the present freshmen
classes at Yale. 152 use tobacco in
some form. Dr. F. J. Horn, medical as
sistant in the university gymnasium,
compiled the figures.
He found that 54 freshmen use a
pipe only, seven smoke cigarettes only,
five nothing but cigars, 25 use pipes
and cigarettes, nine smoke pipes and
cigars, and 52 use pipes, cigarettes and
cigars.
I Of the 152 men, 112 began at pre
I paratory school to smoke and 12
others began before then, so that S2
per cent, of the smokers started be
fore they went to college.
Last year In the freshmen classes at
Yale there were 147 smokers, of whom
77 per cent, began at preparatory
school. From these figures Dr. Dorn
feels himself justified In making the
statement that the majority of smokers
begin before entering college, in spite
of popular opinion. There is no men
tion of chewers.
Hydrophobia Plus.
A little giri came running to tell
about a triad dog she had seen. “We
saw a mad dog!" she gasped, nut the
words seemed too tame to do Justice
to the situation. “Oh, he was mad!
mad!” she added, frowning and pump
ing her fists.' “He was furious!”—
Harper's Weekly.
As He Viewed It.
• I have bad news, Henry," said the
wife of the millionaire.
"What is it, my rfear?” asked the
old man, coolly:
"Why—why, cur daughter has
eloped with the chauffeur.*'
The old millionaire twirled his
glasses in meditation.
"Oil, it might have been worse," he
yawned. i . , .
"Worse? - How could it have -been
worse?"
“W hy, she might have eloped with
the chef* and then we would hare
missed our dinner, my d4ir ”
