MMEDIATELY after Tibs
encounter with Chuck Me
T’.urr we started on our
long trip to the land of
graft and graciotisnoss.
and after a long, tedious
. jaimf caught the home
bound steamer, skirted
Labrador and finally
yoeaked llitnuiiii tlu* St! nit
of Hello Isle and reached
the blessed St. Lawrence.
‘■ 'Now for sWOPt rPSM auu i uc uim
cent spectacle of a cow chewing her
cud in some Vermont \;»le. I sighed,
luxuriously, when •v,,d been in Mon
treal for n day.
"•Telegram for yon. sir.' said Hie
portly crook who mismanaged out ho
tel.
“‘The boss says we are to patch
the Saucy Liz. sealer, at Vancouver,
and take a mild hole 11 In north to
Kinack. on the tip of Point Harrow,'
mused Tib. eying me furtively.
“ ‘Not to win several bets. I pro
tested Indignantly.
“ '111 wire him a refusal.' he declared
stoutly.
“Inside of two hours be was buck,
smiling genially. Pay Monsieur (tar
con Whang-Hang and pack up, he
cried joyously.
“And, to abbreviate, that night
found us on the (' P booming, so iar
as I was concerned, very disconsolate
ly westward.
“The captain of the sealer, we quick
ly discovered, was an old employe of
the circus, and had often collected odd
chunks of Arctic life for the big
shows. Wo had been with him once on
an Ireland trip. His quest now was a
mighty one. being nothing less tha.n a
whole village of tame polar bears.
Needless to say, lie was playing sec
ond fiddle to my patron when it came
to annexing such important brutes,
and even 1 began to lose my melan
choly frown when I appreciated the
fat bonus awaiting a successful out
come of the vent nre. So gradually
waxing almost human in my deport
ment to Tilt, w ■ sa:ir.l away from the
realm of the open '• .n k sock.
"Yon should kno- . sir. that there is
no better card for :i menagerie 'ban
the lu-sns marititiei-: and despite Ms
natural ferocity aud the tart that he
is the greatest im-a'-cater ammis; his
furry fellows, t’ne big l> - ist can be
tamed and is m.usually aeute ol ner
ception. All the up-to-date animal
shows have points that will do all
sorts of tricks and never growl. But
as it costs like sin to-set them, ami as
it takes time to make out their nat
uralization | ape; - an opportunity to
pilfer a whole bcvv of the deep-coated
entertainers is a chance no quadrup -d
king ean allow to die of neglect.
“Tlie four-footed treasure trove was
the iiroperty of one Olfeu. an aged
missionary! said the scaler. The old
man had been deserted h> his Innuit
charges and had tilled in his time
snaring and donr.-s'it-ating the var
mints. The Sam;. I.iz was the first
beat in two years to ObtvutJ - on his
privacy, and as he w as short of fodder
the intrusion was very welcome. He
1-ad accepted the sealer’s proposal that
he come to the St a?-s and live in com
fort at the expense of the eircus,
while his pets earned his ease by
traveling in the menagerie.
"Up to the north we climbed, the
coast growing ever more bleak and
desolate—past Xonte and its gold
sanded shores, stopping at Chuck
Cape just long enough to pick up some
native hunters, ami ultimately round
ing the shoulder oi Alaska, where the
full force of the cold-storage zephyrs
caused our stanch little craft to growl
its way among the ice-floes like some
aquatic bull dog. And such a buffet
ing! You see, the month was August
and an off-shore wind was frisking the
cut-glass out to the open, thus giving
us our only chance of creeping in to
the coast.
"The moment the Saucy Liz poked
her head Inside the cape four native
whale boats put out to meet us. and
the captain sighed his disappointment.
‘For.' he explained, if Olfen's Innuit
flocit has returned he’ll never leave
them, and we've had our little jauat
for nothing.'
“But Tib. slapping his fox-skin
gloves briskly together, refused to en
tertain this unwholesome suggestion,
and intimated that inasmuch as our
boss had spent enough money on the
trip to buy carpet slippers for every
barefooted owl in the country, we
must take back something, if only an
iceberg.
“Thedesire to trade kept the natives
about the sealer, and we three, Tib.
the captain and I. slid in to shore
alone. Then the captain hurried ua
inland several hundred yards to a low,
stone house banked high with dirt .and
plugged with moss, and called on the
missionary to appear and welcome us.
But the door remained closed. Father
Olfen!' he cried again
"And then—great Scott, sir! hut my
heart certainly .skipped seven throbs:
for from around the corner of the hut
paraded seven of the biggest poiars i
ever saw. And die whole outfit reared
with one accord and eyed us com
placently. At our apparent concern
ihe captain laughed and assuroi us
they were tame as kittens. Then he
boldly advanced and said. Hello, Min
nie;’ and stuck out itis fist. And hang
me, sir, if Mlnniie didn't return the
chaste salute most amiably!
"Tib, you know, always had a hyp
notic way with animals, and he, too,
tripped forward and slapped another
elf on the flank. Mr. Bruin slow!)'
dropped to all-fours and rubbed bis
massive white head lovingly against
my patron’s sealskin coat.
“If 1 were younger 1 would stay,
regardless of the risk; but I find my
last days are suddenly filled with a
desire to see the flowers, and I cannot
wait for you. If yott come and my
pets are still here, be kind to them.
“After the captain had slowly
spelled this out a scratching at the
TIBERIUS SMITH
His Grizzlies’ Football Team Makes Good
-By HUGH PENDEXTER
<« ’opyright. hv Joseph B. Bowles.)
door caused me to open it. and there
was a nine-foot, sixteen-hundred-pound
toy sitting on his haunches and polite
ly salaaming. Tib said the old boy
was hungry and. finding a stock of
dried fish, we led the seven into their
rock corral behind the hut—and say,
for endurance in gastronomic stunts
those fairies had all the old Roman
gluttons reduced to light-weight dys
peptics.
"Just as we had cemented the en- ,
tente cordiale l»y the simple donation J
a cloud of snow capered over the hut j
and the captain gained the open in j
three jumps. ’An inshore wind.' he
cried, in explanation. I've got to
save Liz. Stay here and I'll beat back
at the first let-up.' And his lank form
was lost in a swirl of feathers and we
were left alone.
"We built a rousing fire, for despite
the month the ground was covered
with cotton hatting and the raw ;
breezes owned the beach. We were
pleased to note the Innuits had disap- !
peared from the map when the storm 1
broke loose. Olfen’s letter was not i
very reassuring, you know. After we ;
had fixed up the hut we paid another
visit to the hears. Tib's control over i
ihem was something uncanny. They |
seemed to dope out everything he said,
and on the first day he taught them to '
form pyramids and do several stereo
typed tricks.
' What an elegant football squad;
they'd make.' I carelessly observed on t
the third morning, as he dealt out the j
fish.
"Tib stood transfixed for a minute. '
and then cut a pigeon-wing of un
adulterated ecstasy. An inspiration. 1
Hilly!' he cried, and straightway be
gan planning for a Tolar Hear eleven.
He said he would borrow the four
brutes already with the show to make
up the squad, adorn them all with big
crouched in line, eagerly awaiting the
signals. And alter they got so they
could perform each hurricane dash
without a flaw. Tim and 1 fell on each
other's necks ami shed tears of dis
tilled joy.
“ 'They are so blessed human, Billy.’
he sobbed, in apology for his emotion.
And he gave each champion a fish.
’ Then came a dampener to our
spirits that caused us to forget the
gridiron for the nonce. 1 had gone to
tlie beach at the first, intimation of
clearing weather, but instead of sight
ing the sealer I beheld four big oomi
acs. well filled with jovial murderers.
It required no second glance to see
that they were our late neighbors, and
in the bows of each ferry stood a spear
or harpoon-brandishing midget, inti
mating with easy grace that 1 was
next. These simple gesticulations
alone evinced that they were in rare
fettle for acting roguish and Panic Re
vere would have been distanced.
"Tib stood in the doorway as I blew
within his ken. and he had already
detected the menace. He dragged me
inside and closed the portal, just as
the amiable rattlesnakes beached their
boats and set up a song of rancor.
Then they did a little green-corn dance
and set our football stars to growling
with a clortd of spears and arrows. 1
was puzzled to know what had surfeit
ed them with courage until Tib indi
cated a large bottle, affectionately J
clasped to the bosom of the chief.
Then we detected in the middle dis- j
lance a sinister-looking keg. It was
obvious they had procured the fire
water from the sealer while the cap
tain was ashore wifli us.
"Of course we searched the hut for
trappings of war. but could find noth
ing more offensive than some stout
clubs. ‘I'm afraid it's all up if they
“ 'Rring out the squad,' directed he.
‘Have Rudolph play center.’
"And with our seven players in line,
with Tib and me at quarter and half
back. we trailed around the coi ner aud
on to the Arctic gridiron aud faced
the would-be-champions. They had ex
pected the bears, and, being used to
that kind of trouble, were loaded with
an antidote in the shape of bone
tipped spears. And yet the shaggy,
orderly array puzzled them and
warned that we were there for no
parlor pastime. Seeing us come lo a
halt they foolishly assumed a massed
formation, like a revolving wedge, and
brusquely advanced to try us out.
“ '.Minnie!' cried Tib, and that blithe
some lass began to make a detour to
the right, wiiti the others ambling
joyfully along behind. Well, sir, it
simply swept the gang off its feet. It
was all done so quickly and neatly
that we'd flanked them before they
saw a light. Then Minnie halted and
waited for us to form the line.
"Then the chief took a sip from his
flagon and coughed out a signal, and
the beggars speedily presented a new
front. and again prepared to rush. You
six*, we had an elegant chance to out
for the beach after the first end-play,
but our players had been trained in the
corral, where they were forced to halt
after making 30 feet. So the benight
ed romps had absorbed the impres
sion that ten yards was their limit on
any one play. And, of course, Tib and
I did not care to wander about on the
beach alone while waiting for the
sealer to arrive.
" What are w-e tarrying for now?' I
cried, as the other line again ap
proached. this time more rapidly, and
seemingly oblivious to fear.
' ‘Minnie wont’ work twice in suc
cession.' yelled Tib. 'Maude must
wne next, or they won't play. We
AND MAUD CARRIED ALONG WITH HER THE BUNCH OP DEERSKIN.
mitts and muzzles, so as to reassure
the timid spectators and then chal
lenge college teams wherever the cir
cus went
“ 'Give me some pointers on that
deadly pleasantry and watch me trans
late it into the hear language,' he com
manded.
"And nearly all day I fed him foot
hall lore and grounded-him in. the sci
ence of the game. Then as the storm
showed no symptoms of weakening
he got to work with his pupils, he and
I playing with them. For nine ground
gainers we certainly were clever. And
the bears enjoyed it immensely. Tib
taught them to tote a deer-skin ball
and go through three simple maneuv
ers, not at all unlike the real article.
"Minnie and Maude were at right
and left ends respectively, and huge
Rudolph in the center. To call Min
nie's name meant for her to lead off,
with the other six following in close
formation; and we styled it the
burglar-proof wedge. And Maude's
name meant a similar play at left end.
Rut oar chef-d'auvre was when Ru
dolph threw back his flat-topped head
and in bruinese invited his compan
ions to fill in the vacuums created by
the moving of his giant form. For pure
realism in bucking the line his stunt
at center had the other two combina
tions plucked to a tawdry finish. We
regretted while rejoicing; for it re
quired no prophet to see that only a
freight train could cause him and the
ntli [>ower of energy in his wake to
hesitate even, and it would never do
to spring the joke on the same college
twice.
"But, sir, for a picturesque effect it
was purely supernal. It would have
placed your heart three palpitations to
the good just to study them as they
caught on to the varsity spirit and
rush us^!l soliloquized, sullenly. ‘They
number at least two-score.
“Tib sighed In a minor, but made no
reply until he had scanned the Ice
freckled wavelets wltl} an ancient
glass. Then he observed. 'If my old
eyes dont' deceive me, there's a thread
of smoke out yon.’
“I gave a hoot of joy. It was the
sealer to the rescue. Hurrah for the
Saucy Liz!’
“ ’Only Lizzie knows naught of our
embarrassment.' disheartened Tib,
‘and is taking her time. The query is,
can we hold out till she arrives?’
“ ‘Shaking of maidens,' 1 trembled,
‘we have Minnie and Maude—’
“ ‘I'd forgotten 'em,’ mused Tib. ’If
they can lend a helping hand we might
gain the beach and keep the foe
guessing for an hour, ami then win
out.’
“‘An hour!’ I cried. Must time for
two halves!’
"He grabbed me by my shoulders,
sir, and gazed lovingly into my spark
ling orbs. Then he lisped: '.My child,
we'll start the first half now; and it's
our kick-off.'
'“Nenook! Nenook! howled the
rabble, now garbed in a delirium
tremens of bravado.
“ The smoke Is thicker,’ I joyously
reminded my companion, as he be
came absorbed in studying the dancing
and advancing enemy.
“ ’They can’t be the regular Innuit
article,’ he murmured. 'They must be
some half-caste people. The Simon
pure Innuit hasn't any more temerity
than a sage hen, except when tackling
a bear.’
"They’re bunching for a rush!’ I
yelled; and the clamor for Nenook
was now so uproarious that I had to
use my hands as a trumpet in order to
reach Tib's dull ear.
taught 'em to alternate, and we
mustn't try the left end until the crowd
gets nearer.’
"As the last word was barked, Kin
aek's Prides were upon us. trying to
buck the line. But when it catne to
plunging they were rotten; too light,
you know. And say. sir, they ought
to have been penalized 30 yards for
treading on our center's toes and
thrusting at the guards with their
ticklers.
"‘All ready!’ howled Tib. reaching
between the center's feet to kick a
study in oils on the nose. 'Maude!'
“And away they gambolled to the
left in search of ten yards more of
leeway. And Maude carried with her,
sir. the bunch of deer skin. You see,
we had to fetch it along to give the
bruins their cue. Bless their old
hearts! It war, all a game to them.
“But this play was attended by a
beautiful melee, as we'd waited a few
seconds too long, and as our guards
had never lined up against even a
scrub eleven before, and consequently
were a bit dazed and rather punk on
the defensive. However, they man
aged to break up the interference after
a fashion, and filially, somewhat wind
ed, we were one family again.
“But the captain of the Kinackers
absorbed a pint of stimulus and I could
see we were in for livelier doings.
The first two plays bad foozled ’em a
trifle, but now they were up and
ready and very wise. So far they had
suffered no injury, thanks to our
teaching the bears to use but little
strength in anticipation of the college
games to come. Ergo, they waxed con
fident and decided that Nenook had
lost his medicine.
“They didn’t seem to realize that
their spear-work had excited the home
team and that our right guard's ugly.
uai k-sta'.nod shoulder was 3 source ot
annoyance to him as he compared St
with its silvery white companion. But
they got an inkling when a rash tackle
from tliier side ducked in and received
a crack that sent him 30 feet. As our
big boy handed out this bunch of sleep
germs he turned in the middle of a
growl and seemed to apologize to .din
nie for his rudeness.
“Hut the jab had puzzled the poor
beggar, and only Tib's shriek of ap
proval kept him from chasing his man.
And I jumped four feet on high just
to pat his head. Then, perfectly reas
sured, he made a scythelike sweep and
knocked a midget out of sight.
“We had now gained 20 yards, and
still retained ibe ball. ‘Play a saloon
game.’ begged Tib, prancing up and
down behind Rudolph and studying the
field.
“The visitors, still failing to appre
ciate that they had been working the
wrong combination, now drew track
long enough to tcss up a fe* orisons
to their tribal deity, and then came
smash against our center before we
could budge. Dear, dear! how foolish
of them, sir, when they could have
run the ends!
"‘Boom-a-larka! bcom-a lacka!’ I
howled, recalling a fragment of the old
yell, while Tib spoiled an off-side play
with his club and called on the left
! end again to lead off.
“But it was Rudolph’s turn to score,
and every bear knew it, and Maude
wouldnt stir a peg. But they fought
where they were just the same, and as
each bear was now heavily laden with
venomous activity, there was enough
heathen fur clothing spoiled to keep a
city's worthy poor as warm as toast
all w inter. Inside of six seconds twice
as many of the foe were sent ricochet
ing iri a variety of directions; and in
00 seconds we were pushing the whole
crowd away. But they did not get
clear before Rudolph, angry at missing
his turn, got it through his thick
noodle that the other side was behav
ing like river-drivers. And in one off
side play he gathered four of the ver
min in his generous arms, and w’ith a
might o-o-o-of of satisfaction strained
the collection to his bosom. When he
discarded them over our heads they
lav very still and their captain had to
call in the substitutes.
“ ‘tlreat. game!' I panted, in the
breathing space allowed by the Kinack
ers' retreat to the rum keg.
“ Got to keep moving, or they'll bag
! us yet. bawled Tib. And our boys—
now digging up a sulky streak, began
beckoning energetically with their
I steel arms for their rivals to mix it
j up again, instead of waiting for our
: signals. You see, sir, we were in a
tight place—we didn't dare leave our
breastworks, and the squad was un
wieldy to handle. The game, too, was
vastly different from the merry prac
tice in tbe corral, the whole
bunch were disgusted because their
i usual honorarium of fish was not forth
; coming. Tib and I realized our lives
I dei>ended on their keepiug together,
I and we both worked overtime to tickle
' their vanity. Hut what saved us was
the bail. Each cine-foot warrior Jiad
been taught to center his or her whole
soul on that trifle, and true to their
training they obeyed orders and re
fused to desert their colors.
“'They're coming!' I warned, as the
mob of round forms waddled to a
right-about face and cantered forward.
“ ‘Keep close to Rudolph,' cautioned
Tib. And then. 'Center! 4-11-44!’ The
numerals meant nothing, and were
thrown in only for good measure.
“Hut at the familiar call Rudolph
lounged forward to buck the advancing
line with every other ounce of bear
flesh trailing on behind, with a fringe
of paws cuffing at the sides to spoil
interference, while Tib and I scuttled
along between the two bulky lines.
And 1 was overjoyed to see Maude
emulate Rudolph's system and pluck
a hostile right tackle out of his
clothes with one ueat sweep of her
hooks.
“Tib and I tried to reach the brutes'
close-set ears with expressions of
praise, but they were well-nigh deaf
ened by the hoarse clamor of their
assailants and forgot for the moment
they had been civilized. But that cen.
ter-play, sir, brushed all records of
strenuous endeavor to the background
and. as Rudolph failed to remember
the confines of the corral, we ad
i vanced to within 200 yards of the
beach.
“Then, as we thought we were to
have a breather and time to quiet our
men, that happened which Tib and I
had feared from the start. The heath
ens began to open up, preparatory to
running the ends and flirting with us
bipods. The first dash came so near
to netting Tib I decided the pennant
was surely lost. You see, the dear, old
furry idiots were again trying to re
member our mottoe* and maintain a
life-lease or. the leather; hence they
were but mildly curious when six rum
inflamed full-hacks sneaked in from
the left and as a unit nailed my
patron.
“1 dented several fat faces with my
club before a relay crew buckled on
to me. Then I went to the mat, and
the count had proceeded to nine be
fore my leader could liberate his vocal
organs sufficiently to gurgle, Down!'
And then Gertrude, bless her! a de
mure little lass of about twelve hun
j dred pounds, playing left guard,
| wheeled and nearly finished us with
‘ her zeal to eliminate our encum
brancPS. But to collect the invaders
you would have needed a large Quan
tity of the best Wotting paper. It re
Qtiired just two sweeps of Gertrude’s
powerful paw to dig us out of the
debris.
"When onee on our bewildered feet
we saw that one end-rusli had cost us
dear. Our right guard would never
play again. For the life of me. sir.
eoutd not help but pause and rub hi3
head as he tried to rise and take his
old position. He closed one eye in
passing out, as if saving: ’Great foot
work, oh T And there was a blur in
my lamps as 1 dragged myself behind
the faithful, shattered squad. The six
of them stiff accepted in all as a gaim
you sis\ although perplexed by tbefr
neighbors’ roughness.
" Line up for the last half!’ wheezed
Tib. wiping the blood from his eyes.
The sealer's in and dropping boats.
One more scamper and we'll be clear.’
" ‘Xeuooki N'enookV horsely yowled
tlie beggars, pointing exultantly at our
prostrate guard.
"And say. I actually loved those gi
gantic. white sillies as they tossed
•'Hello, Minnie!
bark the challenge in six growls; ami
true blue to the last, all ranged up he
side Rudolph, who. hugging the bull
i against his now brown breast, turned
j his foolish head to catch Tib's signal.
■' \ml Tib. believing his players had
lost tabs on whos" turn it might be,
; cried. Center!' for the second time,
i and. .sure enough. Rudolph bowed his
form and lunged ahead for another ir
resistible buck.
'The exchamps. however, rat riling
sight of the approaching boats, no
i longer tried to run the ends, but in
our great felicitation met us fair and
squaare in one last, tremendous effort
As they closed ir. we enjoyed tie* worst
scrimmage oi the game. I'll confess.
! sir. the visitors played snappy ball and
showed lots of ginger; and as our
boys indulgi d in many a hearty nip
and rake, they hand’d it back r.gbt
j smart. Why, even in that last mo
: ment they gave every promise of lug
i giug home the cup.
‘‘For the first few yards we tore
| down the shingle briskly and simply
! wad»d through the heavy underbrush
: of jabbing arms and kicking legs, Tib
j and I doing no real husky w ork, just
; staggering along. Rut as our players
| became more infuriated, and paused
! in the game to hold personal alterca
! tions, 1 surrendered ray last hope.
‘ To accentuate our despair, just as
1 we had nearly come to a standstill and
| Rudolph, busy cuffing a native, refused
j to heed the signals, we lost our left
I tackle, a promising young player, but
I a bit hot-headed.
‘•‘Rudolph! Center!' again choked
Tib.
| And dear, dear! If the old sport
j didn't turn his red eyes, stop gunning
for pelts, grab up the ball and onoe
more begin to plow ahead. And the
other four loyally fell in behind and
swung through the big hole he had
made in the unsavory mass of alleged
humanity. Thus did we come to the
water's edge.
"And the enemy seeing the last half
had been played scurried back to the
boats somewhere up the coast
“ ‘How can we get these five life
preservers aboard?’ panted Tib. as he
wrung the captain's hand.
“ ‘Can't do it now, bawled the cap
tain, dancing In merriment as he
nailed a retreating seven-hundred-dol
| lar bunch of furs with a hatchet. The
wind is again inshore, and. we've.not a
second to lose if we'd save our hides
and Liz.'
“So, after all, we had to leave the
bears. Hut despite the scarcity of the
minutes, wo dragged ourselves to each
and sorrowfully shook a paw in part
ing. As we gazed back from the scaler
we saw them sitting in a row, the cen
ter still holding the ball, and we
watched them until their huge, white
coats melted slowly into the drifting
veil of snow.
"In another week we were back
again, but could find no bruins.
"But up there somewhere in the
I eternal cold is a fraction of Alaska's
| first eleven, ready to face all comers.
| I often see them in my mind's eye
| stanclily standing off a gang of na
j tives; and although tfieir old trainer's
! voice will direct their plays no more,
j I can see them pegging down with pou
I derous energy the championship of
! the Arctic Circle. And do you know,
sir, I've often wondered if in their
wanderings they affectionately tote
about that absurd wad of deerskin:
| and if. on pleasant days, they indulge
j in a little quiet practice in memoriam
' of their first coach. At least, I know
they are loyal to one another, and
mayhap to-night are forming up for
the last game. And if, perchance, only
one of the rugged quintet remains, f
have no doubt but he will gp down
gamely, with only a few yards to gain.
SPEEDY CURE FOR FITS
Grab Boy by the Neck ajid Shake It
Out of Him.
The Colorado state bureau of child
and animal protection is considering
the advisability of adding a medical
department to its work, with Agent A.
E. Ransom as doctor-in-chief, because
of his successful treatment of fits.
A few days ago a complaint was
filed with the bureau by Prof. Louis
P. Norvell, principal of the Washing
toll school at Denver. It related to one
of the pupils of the school, whose pen
chant for having fits at inopportune
times was demoralizing the school.
The lad, the professor stated, had been
turned out of the Pueblo schools on
account of his infirmity, and he inti
mated that it would be necessary to
take a similar course in Denver If the
state bureau could do nothing to re
lieve the situation.
Agent Ransom went to the school,
and the boy was brought before him.
When he learned the humane agent's
identity he promptly had a fit.
The astute Ransom grabbed the boy
by the neck and shook him until the
urchin gasped for breath.
‘ Quit that, y-o-u!” he spluttered, "I
ain’t goin’ to have—n-o fit!”
The boy confessed that he had been
shamming because he "didn't want to
go to school.”
STRONG HINT FOR HUBBY
Wife Very Evidently Had No Intention
of Economizing.
Miss Laurence Alma Tadema, the
famous English painter's daughter,
talked at a dinner in New York about
happiness. On this subject the bril
liant young iady is an authority.
"They are not happy,” said Miss
Tadema, ‘who long for things they
should not have. I heard the other
day of a woman of this class.
“She is a banker's wife, and the
hard times straitened her husband’s
resources not a little. Hence the com
ing Christmas, with its costly gift
giving, worried the poor man greatly.
“At dinner he said to his wife with
feigned unconcern:
“ 'Brownstone, I fancy, won't spend
money at his accustomed rate this
Christmas. I wonder what he'll give
Mrs. B.’
“ ‘1 happen to know,’ was the quick
answer.
“ ‘Do you? What is it, then?'
“ ‘A set of Russian sables and a
limousine car. You see,’ said the lady
significantly, ‘Mr. Brownstone asked
my advice, and I told him what I
should like myself.' ”
Many Russian Holidays.
Russia celebrates 86 general holi
days each year. J
CLIMATE IS IDEAL
GREAT WEALTH ACQUIRED IN
GROWING GRAIN.
Writing from Saskatoon, Saskatene
wau. Canada, \V. II. l-.'llwanger, who
*’js formerly a resident of Green
Mountain. Iowa, says: "The climate
in summer is ideal for growing grain.
I.ong. clear days of sunshine, no had
storms. We never need to guard
against cyclones; l never saw a better
climate in my file. We made more
money during the season of 1906- than
any previous live years in central
Iowa-—one of the best districts in the
state." Hut .Mr, Ellwanger was a resi
dent of the town, and it might he more
interesting to read what a farmer lias
to say about Western Canada. From
hundreds of letters all filled with
words of praise, recounting success in
Western Canada there has been cue
selected. It is as follows;
Paynton. slash.. Canada.
Dec. loth. 1907.
To Whom This May Concern:
1 moved to this address February 3,
1907, from Montgomery, Iowa, and
look a homestead miles north of
Paynton. It was cold when I moved
here but it did not stay cold long, it
broke u(> the Sth of February, and was
not so cold alter that but the spring
was late on account of the heavy snow
fall, but in spite of the late spring I
saw leMter grain than I ever saw in
the states, raised this year. I heljied
a man finish sowing oats the 4th of
luly and they made fair oats. In a
j good year oats will go 100 bushels to
the acre and wheat 75 to 50; all root
| cro«s do well here. I saw turnips weigh
7 ami s pounds. 1 raised potatoes this
year that measured 11% inches
one way and 1SL. the other in cir
cumference. This is a line stock coun
try; hay in abundance, good water,
plenty of fuel, free and plenty of
j building material—the government
i gives us limiter to saw into lumber
and we can get it sawed for about
i'i.oo per thousand. All small fruit
! grows wild here, then there are ducks
geese, grouse, pheasants, doer, moose,
; elk and fish in abundance. 1 was over
j to Turtle Lake yesterday where there
i is lots of fishing being done this win
ter. 1 saw about a carload of white
lish iu one pile. 1 gave 25 cents for
?'J pounds of fish What do you think
of that. Brother Yankee? 1 think this
is a fine place both to make money
anti to live. There was an old man up
here visiting his brother-in-law. Now
this man owns land close to Des
Moines. Iowa, and is in good circum
stances. bur he took a homestead and
says he will lie contented if he can
only put in the rest of his days in
Cauada. He would get up in the morn
and look out of the door and say
"Well, who wouldn't live in Canada?"
Now I have been in 1? different states
in the I’nited States, and l never saw
the chance that there is here for a
man that has a iitde muscle and a
little brains. Three cheer.; lor Cana
da! (Signed.)
W. A. SPICE.”
I
This is the temperature through
November. I took it myself so l
know it is right, in the shade:
Morning at
Morning Kt
Siinrl*** -fr*1
Homing 4t
r-a'e «t o.
I 1 27 27
2 36 40
3 26 37
4 29 34
5 27 36
6 30 38
7 12 30
8 28 34
9 17 16
10 2 13
11 5 26
12 28 20
13 7 11
14 21 18
15 20 31
16 28 35
17 12 20
13 12 29
19 20 33
20 12 24
21 18 27
22 16 28
23 15 27
24 18 22
25 8 20
*0 3*’ 98
27 20 16
28 8 14
29 IS 20
30 18 27
NOTABLE DATES.
- I
' First violin made, 1440.
$100 Reward, $100.
The roofer* <*f this piper win be pi»a*ed to ’earn
that there is at least one dreaded disease that science
lias been able to cure !a ail !ca stages, and that !*
Catarrh. Ha l a Catarrh Cure is the only positive
cure u"ur known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
beln< a c.institutional dUeoae. require* a constitu
tional treaUneat. Hail'd < itarrti Cure la taken tu
ternaiiy, actinic directly upi«u the blood an l nricons
Hurfuce* of the system, thereby destroying th-*
rumdathm if the disease, and giving the p.uvm
strength by building up the QftastltuUon and aasi*:
tngnature lu doing it*, w irk. l;he pr »prleu*rs have
*•» tuu*-h faith lu Its curative powers that they offer
Dn* Hundred Dollars for any case that it fal.s to
cure. s*‘n*l for list of testimonials. -4
A hires* K -i CHKNKV «t CD., Toledo, O.
Sold by alt Druggist- T*»c.
Take Uaii's FaUH.y Pills foe constipation.
He who gives pleasure meets with
it; kindness is the bond of friendship,
and the hook of love; he who sows
not. reaps not.—Smiles.
Any 12 Year Old Girl
Can make those delicious Lemon, Choco
late and C’uslard pies as well as the more
experienced cook if she uses "OUH-PIE"
preparation, which is now sold by nearly
all grocers at 1*> cents per package. Just
he proper ingredients in each package,
dt up by Ll-Zerta Co.. Rochester, N.Y."
To refuse to yield to others when
reason or a special cause require it is
a mark of pride and stiffness.—Thom
as a Kempis.
Public Land Opening.
Irrigated under “Carey Act.” Low cost
easy payments. Write for date of draw
iug and full information, Irrigation IV
partraent, 400 Home Ins. Bldg., Chicago
“Live and learn" is a good motto,
but at the age of 30 the average man
begins to live and unlearn.
ONI.Y ONE “BKOMO QUININE”
That Is LAXATIVE HRONloyULNINB. f„,
lh« slgmimm «>( E. W. OROvV Laid tixTworS
ovor to Cure a Cold In On«i Day. %&c_
Grapes are squeezed six times In
making champagne, yielding wine of
different qualities. /