MYTHS WOVEN
ABOUT SIMPLE
MEXICAN PEON
PEDRO ALVARADO NOT MINING
CROESUS HE HAS BEEN REP
RESENTED TO BE.
EXTRAVAGANT TALES
ARE WITHOUT TRUTH
J
___>_
Believes Himself to Be Worth Mil
lions, But in Reality Has Hard
Work to Raise Comparatively
Small Sum—Systematically Plun
dered by Those in His Employ—
is Famed Throughout Region for
Generosity, But Shirks Publicity.
Meulco City.—Pedro Alvarado, about
whom Action and fancy have woven
tales cf fabulous wealth and countless
treasures,.!s a Mexican.peon. Willing
ly has he submitted to the iiattery and
:'.'filiation which his fellow townsmen
have lavished ui->on him on account of
ills ownership of a bonanza silver
mine, albeit in the profits of that
m.'nc be has had but a meagre share.
All the extravagant tales of Pedro
Alvarado’s wealth, <Sf his ability to
pay the Mexican national debt, and
of bis efforts to commission several
regiments of Mexicans to subdue the
Yaquis, arc pure myths.
He believes himself to-day the
wealthiest man of the universe, and
no one has ever dared to dispossess
him of the delusion he cherishes, that
ids mine is the greatest thing of its
hind in the world. Hut notwithstanding
be is reputed to be worth $150,000,000,
he has had the greatest trouble with
in the last three months to raise $l!00.
001). The fact, thal he only has been
able tb accomplish this at a sacrifice!
of practically all he possessed has still
failed to bring him to a proper esti
mate of his fortune.
Lack of Management.
As one approaches Parral on the
branch of the Mexican Central rail
road from Jiminez, tales of Alvarado’s
greatness are heard on all sides, it the
average Mexican peons are doing the
miking. If, on the other hand, one
.strikes the expatriated American who
iias been living in the vicinity for a
year or two, he will confidentally tell
one. “on the side,” that the Mexicans
are simply reporting what they have
heard. If one fraternizes with the I
i cons for any length of time one will
find that their ideas of Alvarado's
wealth are derived largely from the
rich ere which their relatives employ
ed at the mine abstract surreptitious
ly from time to time.
Visit to Alvarado.
After becoming acquainted with the
important developments at Parral, ii
’me has the necessary influence and
pull with somebody who is cn friend
ly terms with Alvarado, an invitation
0 visit his property is soon forthcom
ing. While his ideas of hospitality dif
fer in many respects from those tc
which we are accustomed in the
United States, still, when showing his
guests his property, he seems to for
get. his alleged greatness and be
comes quite chummy with those lie is
entertaining.
The invitation to the writer of this
article to go into the Palmilla mine
called for a prompt attendance at the
mouth of the shaft at 8 o’clock in the
morning. The mine being situated on
the very top of one of the highest
peaks in the district, and the road
leading to it being very difficult, the
visitor was half an hour late.
Sitting on Ore Pile.
Alvarado was round sitting on the
apex of one of his richest ore piles.
Without even so much as rising he ex
1 ended his hand smilingly as the In
terpreter performed the introduction.
After a time Alvarado suggested a
halt in the exploration, and seating
himself passed around cigarettes and
began to talk about his output and
other items connected with the opera
tion of the mine. The exaggeration he
made use of was staggering. He
thought nothing of saying that before
long his mine would a .lord employ
ment to 100,000 men, and backed this
up with the assertion that he would
hoist 10,000 tons of ore every day,
once he got the mine working as he
planned to have it.
This sort of talk easily suggested
the origin of many of the stories of
wealth that one hears in Mexico and
elsewhere concerning this interesting
personage.
Exploring the Mine.
Strange as u may seem, Alvarado
is almost totally in ignorance of what
is being done from day to day at his
property. Those in charge of the de
velopment, who seem to be mostly rel
atives, are satisfied to give him a per
centage of the daily receipts, pocket
ing a good deal'of the balance and
•spending the rest upon silly operations
that fall to make any appreciable im
provement of the mine.
EVER FEED HORSES MOLASSES!
Experiments in New York Have Re
suited in RemarkaEte Success.
Feed your horse on old fashioned
black New Orleans molasses. This is
uo joke. No anhnal has a sweetei
tooth than the horse. And this char
acteristic of equus has not been suf
ficiently encouraged. There is noth
iug new in the proposition, but the
common run of people never heard ot
it and will scarcely believe it. Look
at those magnificent Percherons draw
ing great loads in our streets. Set
those giant Normandies, weighing 2,
000 pounds each. Feast your eyes or
those sturdy Clydesdales, those dapple
grays, able to pull a few tons without
flinching. All fed on molasses.
A firm in Brooklyn has been experl
men ting with molasses as a food foi
horses and tries to keep the results se
cret, writes Victor Smith in the New
.York Press. From an inside source 1
leant this: Two of the horses in the
stable were given up as worthless
They got so thin and weak that the]
couffl 'dnt do k day's work, and were
about to be retired on pensions it fi
After a while Alvarado suggested a
continuation of the exploration of his
mine, and showed the way into huge
chambers cut' Into the rock from
which great quantiles of ore had al
ready been abstracted. Here and there
the interpreter pointed out big streaks
of the rich chlorides of silver that go
to make the property a bonanza. Then
came the hardest part of the trip—the
descent of what Is known as a “chick
en ladder,” which is not any too agree
able for one unaccustomed to moving
about in mines.
The “Chicken Ladder.”
The chicken ladder is a huge post
inclined at about 45 degrees, upon
which wooden blocks have been fast
ened about 14 inches apart. Wonder
ful to relate, the Mexican peons em
ployed in the mines, carry on their
backs suspended by heavy thongs
across their foreheads loads varying
in weight from .75 to 100 pounds. They
mount the chicken ladders with the
utmost celerity and do not seem to
think the performance anything won
derful.
At the bottom of the chicken lad
der a group of Mexicans were squatted
in one of the drifts, consuming the
ever-famous tortilla, which, together
with the everlasting friola, makes up
character.
Up to five months ago Alvarado's
mine was hoisting about 160 tons a
day, of which about 60 tons were sent
away for treatment and the balance
left on the dumps. The American min
ing engineer is almost overcome when ,
told that it takes 500 men to accom-'
plish such a little work, but of course,
he does not appreciate the extraordi-;
nary conditions that prevail at the Pal
milla.
While no one at the mine knows
definitely what the ore yields per ton,
it is believed that the high crade will
average from $250 to $500 per ton, and
that the low-grade will run from $16
to $35 a ton. The values are all pres
ent in silver, with some occasional
lead ores.
The mine at the time of the viBit
referred to was making about 800 gal
lons of water per minute, but the
pumps were quite able to take care of
this flow. Here again one is put in
close touch with Alvarado’s lack of
business sense. Instead of draining
the mine by a tunnel which he could
easily run at the base of the moun
tain, where his mine is located, he
goes to work and has all the water
pumped to the top of the hill, from
where it flows to the bottom again
Loaned O.e Wagor.s Leaving Mine.
me daily tare oi mese numan oeasis
oi uuruen.
Alvarado Is careful to see that his
visiters do not ml3s any Important
item in his mine, and on this occa
sion It was all of four hours before he
had shown everything he wished to ex
hibit. Then came an invitation to din
ner. and the invitation having been
accepted, the mine owner accompanied
his guest to the surface and gave the
necessary orders to his cook.
While Alvardo was waiting the call
of the cook his visitor had an excel
lent opportunity to study his person
ality and his churacter. He is a little
man. weighing about 120 pounds,
quick, alert and extremely nervous.
He has a well-shaped head with prom
inent forehead, topped by a short crop
of black hair. He wears a stubby beard
that shows the lack of care. His
features are pleasant, barring an un
usually pointed nose, and when he
smiles he shows some very good teeth
mrougn sluices uum ior me purpose.
The surface equipment at the Pal
milla is on a part with the best which
can be seen at any large American
mine. His repair shops are of the best
and he has never been known to turn
down any suggestion for improve
ments that have ever been made to
him. unless the offers interfered with
his principles. There is a leak some
where, however, between the gross
profits and the net Income, which up
to this time no one has ever been able
to explain. It is this unknown drain
that has practically ruined Alvarado
to-day and that has made it necessary
for him to pledge all he owns to raise
a bare $300,000.
He Shirks Publicity.
Strange as it may seem, Alvarado
personally shirks publicity. On no ac
count would he allow a photograph of
himself to be taken, although quite
willing to have his entire mine and
equipment photographed under any
Where the Richer Ores Are Sacked
He is 44 years old. He has a keen
sense of humor, appreciates a joke,
and is always ready both to give and
take. His knowledge of things is limit
ed to the confines of Chihuahua, his
native state. He knows almost noth
ing of the world.
He is a devout Catholic, and in va
rious little nooks In his mine chapels
have been constructed, which he never ,
passes without dofiQng his cap and
making the sign of the cross.
A Generous Giver.
His charity abounds on all sides, and
he constantly has men employed in ex
cess of his needs simply to keep their
families out of want. When he was
isked why he still retained the anti
quated burros and ore wagons to carry
his ore to Parral instead of installing
a tramway, he said: ‘‘What would an
my men and 500 burros do if they had
no ore to carry?” It is along this line
or reasoning that Alvarado has built
up a philosophy of his own, which,
while It perhaps is comical, cannot
help arouse certain admiration for his
circumstances that may suit the one
taking the picture.
“I do not want people to think I am
a monkey,” said Alvarado,
His residence at Parral is a mini
ature palace, and its furnishings con
tain many expensive pieces of wrought
silver, any of which he is quite willing
to part with as gifts, to those who
catch his fancy. He has invested some
or his money in a large hotel in Par
ral, but he has wisely decided not
to run the hotel himself.
For an individual who has seen so
little of the world and who, one might
say, has been buried in his native
town from his birth, Alvarado shows
a genius that cannot fail to obtain for
him respect throughout the district in
which he lives. His ambitions are cen
tered in doing good, and he still clings
to the idea that some day he will be
able to help every Mexican who re
quires his assistance.
The value of the world’s railways is
put at 527,776,000,000.
years, when the molasses man came your poor, old, broken down nag. He
along. The horses were off their feed, will live to bless you, and be pulling
prcbahly sick at the stomach. They you around the country or the town
refused oats, hay, corn, clover and at 27.
shorts. He looked them over and said —
he should like to try an altogether new , London’s Most Populous Parish*
regimen. “Go ahead,” said the superin- The population of Islington appears
tendent of the stables, in which there at last to have reached high water
are over 200 magnificent animals, mark, says the Pall Mall Gazette. A
worth from $700 to $1,000 each. In century ago a great part of the bor
two uiuuius uittJ ul tuc uuisca, a puvor uugu uuuaiaicu ui uptfu OlUlliry; out
cql wreck, gained 400 pounds, and the now all is thickly covered with
other, u physical wreck, 356. Their houses, and a» a result the population,
coats were as satin. They were restor- at well over 300,000, is the largest of
ed to duty and are still holding their any district in the metropolis. When
own—on molasses. , the development of the building es
In administering the molasses—the tates was entered upon, the figures
blackest: you can buy—first chop your rose with astounding rapidity. In
hay into bits and to each peck add one 1811 the percentage of increase was
pint of molasses. Mb: thoroughly. The 39.7, in 1841 it stood at 49.4, and in
horse will do the rest. Use about the 1851 it advanced to 70.7. A period of
same quantity of syrup with oats, declining increased then set in, the fig
shorts, com, etc. If you find that one ures at succeeding decennial periods
horse may have a sweeter tooth than being 63.1, 37.1, 32.3, and 12.8. In 1901
another, regulate the treacle accord- die population was 334,991, the per
ingly. So regulate It, in fact, that centage of the increase being only 4.9;
nothing well be left in the trough. You while for the twelvemonth now re
can buy good New Orleans (or Porto ported upon the latter figure appears
Rico) molasses for thirteen and one- at 0.49. In other words, the popula
half celts a gallon; by the hogshead tion is all but (Stationary, and ere long
or barrel for a little less. Try it on an actual falling off may be looked for.
IIJ THE TUNA A
COMING FOOD?
Hb •
mEZJMr7'XU4S
TmanLOx:
The prickly pear of the American
and Australian, the Indian fig of the
Englishman, the Barbary fig of the
Frenchman, the tuna of the Spanish
American, and the higos chumbos of
the Spaniard is a fruit concerning
which there are more varied beliefs,
contradictory opinions, and grades of
appreciation than concerning any
known to us. The plant and its fruits
are subjected to both praise and
abuse. •>
While the Mexican prays that there
may be no rain w-hen the plants are
in bloom that the fruit may set well
and produce a good crop of tunas, the
legislative assemblies in some of the
Australian colonies pass laws looking
toward their eradication.
While the Australian governments
spend much money to eradicate the
“weed," some ranchmen find that it
can be fed to stock with profit. ,
While the southern Texan was im
ploring the government in the early
nineties to conduct investigations
looking to the eradication of prickly
pear, shrewd cattlemen and Ingenious
machinists were devising means
whereby it could be divested of its
objectionable characteristics at small
expense and turned to a profitable
use.
While the minister of agriculture of
India pronounced against its use in
unqualified terms, it was found" in this
country that it could play a profitable
role in both beef and dairy produc-_
tion in at least one section of the
United States. While the South Afri
can is said to revile its presence, the
poorest inhabitants of the Island of
Sicily are said to largely subsist on
its fruit for three or four months each
year.
The average American traveling in
Mexico can see no value whatever in
the tremendous stretches of prickly
pear upon the plateau, but the native
peon grows these plants and similar
ones in his orchards and gives them
fully as careful attention as any plants
which he attempts to cultivate.
Enthusiastic magazine writers
would revolutionize conditions in the
arid region by the establishment of
plantations of prickly pear without
spines, thus converting the most arid
deserts into populous, prosperous
communities. Experience teaches,
however, that the spineless varieties
of cultivation are not hardly under
natural desert conditions; that all of
the valuable spineless species which
produce either fruit or forage In
economic quantities require consider
able precipitation at some time during
the year; and that economic species
are not known which thrive under a
maximum temperature of less than
ten degrees F. One exception to this
may be noted in the case of opuntia
i arborescens of Colorado; but the
amount of stock feed produced by
this species is comparatively small
and its distribution limited.
Conservative judgment based upon
observation and experiment, on the
other hand, would pronounce many
species of prickly pear to be decidedly
susceptible to cultivation and highly
productive of both fruit and forage
under proper conditions of tempera
ture and moisture.
There are in Mexico many varieties
of prickly pear which are found only
in cultivation. This is especially true
of the spineless forms in general.
Others are native and may or may not
be cultivated. Of the first group the
peon may speak collectively as man
sas or tame forms, but he has names
for all of the varieties which are
grown in his orchards as well as for
the wild ones of the mountains.
To say that any of the forms are
cultivated as we think of cultivation
in this country, however, is a gross
error. They are rarely ever cultivated.
Cuttings are put into the ground and
surrounded by a fence to protect them
from animal depredations. Aside from
this they get little or no cultivation.
It Is common for the peon to get a
large portion of his living during the
tuna season from the plants as they
stand in the field. A large part of the
crop is therefore consumed directly
from the plants.
The solid matter in the fruit is
about an average of that found in
other fruits. Like ait other fruits the
amount of solids differs for the dif-'
ferent varieties, amounting to from
5.23 to 11.60.
It is seldom that one can get any
idea of the amount of boiling and
evaporating to which the tuna juice
is subjected by talking to the men
who make the queso. Fortunately,
in 1906, an opportunity was had -a
visit Lcs Campos in season. Through
the kindness of Senor Enrique Guerra
a day was spent at the queso factory.
At six o'clock in the morning of the
day spent at the factory the kettles
were charged with 65 gallons of the
juice of tuna cardona, a portion of
which had been seeded the night be
fore. A brisk fire was started at,the
same time of wood of the same species
of prickly pear. During the day 25
gallons more of the juice were added
as evaporation proceeded. The evap
oration was carried on very slowly
and somewhat irregularly until eight
o'clock in the evening. But little at
tention was paid to the kettle until
toward evening, when the juice was
constantly stirred. The juice was se
cured from 150 gallons of peeled tunas
from which the rind had been com
pletely removed, the shrinkage in
seeding being very largely due to the
bulky seed. The melcocha which
was kneaded into queso the next day
measured 12 gallons and weighed 130
pounds.
A very distinctive feature of the
markets of the different cities of the
highland region of Mexico is the
space or booths assigned to the sale
of the tunas. The business is general
ly carried on by the poorer population
in the most simple and primitive way.
Not that the poor are the only ones
who eat them, but they are eaten
more extensively by the poorer class
than any other. One of our illustra
tions gives a good idea of the appear
ance of the tuna markets.
By far the greater amount of fruit
is sold unpeeled. This is especially
true during the season when fruits
are not abundant, for less waste at
tends it.
Positive Proof.
“John has wrote a sketch,” said the
old man, “and had it printed in the
paper.”
"Goin’ to be a literary man, is he?”
“I reckon so. He’s just drawed on
me for >50!"
I
HOW POSIES ARE FAKED.
All Sort of Tricks Played on Unsus
pecting Customers.
The gentle art of “faking” flowers Is
flourishing exceedingly, and one may
purchase at many of the florists'
shops green carnations and lilies of
the valley. White flowers readily ab
sorb the dye, and so perfectly natural
are the green tints that only an ex
pert well versed in the natural colors
of flowers could possibly detect the
deception.
The flowers are Cut just before they
ire fuly developed, and their stalks
are then placed in a solution of ani
line dye.
Flowers so treated readily absorb
the solution, and pass it upward into
the cells of the petals, thus convert
ing the neutral white surface into a
green tint.
Scarlet and green shades of color
seem so far to be the most popular,
but other tints are produced In the
same way.
Genuine lovers of flowers taboo this'
color “faking.” and regard it ag a
gross outrage on the natural beauties
of the flowers so treated.
They know that there is no such
thing in nature as a scarlet daffodil,
or a grene lily of the valley, carna
tion, or pansy, and therefore are not
likely to be deceived Into purchasing
“faked" flowers. It Is only those lack
ing an Intimate knowledge of flowers,
who would be tempted to buy dyed
blossoms and then endeavor to pro
cure bulbs or seeds thereof.
Plant or flower “faking" Is an old
art. One of the most familiar exam
ples of it is the “Carrot fern.”
ThiB merely consists of the crown
of a carrot cut off, fixed firmly by
means of wooden pegs in a pot of soil,
then allowed to produce a tuft of
green foliage and in this state palmed
off on unsuspecting folk as a rare or
choice fern at sixpence or so each.
Beet, parsnip and even mangold
roots are treated in the same way and
disposed of as the latest floral wonder
during the spring months.
The skeleton in the closet wouldn't
be so bad if it Would only stay where
it belongs.
1^-—— - —
Washington Gossip
Interesting Bits of News Picked Up
Here and There at the National Capital
-~
J
A MOVE FOR PUBLIC
BATHS AND LAUNDRIES
WASHINGTON. — Preparatory to
submitting their annual reports
and estimates to congress at the com
ing session, the commissioners are
considering the advisability of pro
viding public baths in the District.
They strongly favor the establishment
of public baths, and last year recom
mended that an appropriation be made
sufficient to build two, but congress
turned it down. This year, it is stated,
the commissioners will ask for an ap
propriation with which jto establish
public baths for the accommodation of
pupils of the public schools, and the
establishment of public laundries in
connection with the public baths.
All of the commissioners are anx
ious to provide some kind of bathing
or swimming scheme for the school
children. It is their aim to make the
scheme of such a nature as to have
swimming lessons as part o£ the
course of studies at the schools. They
ANOTHER matter which is to be
urged upon the attention of con-1
gress is the liquor question. Every
year now for several years the Little
fleld-Dolliver bill for the regulation oL
the traffic has made its appearance,
but the National Association of Brew
ers, the National Liquor Dealers’ asso
ciation and various other organiza
tions have always been on the look
out for it, and have always succeeded
in blocking its passage.
This year it begins to lcok^as though
the liquor traffic which has been get
ting so many hard knocks from the
states lately is to get a national shak
ing up as well.
At the coming session the Anti-Sa
loon League of the United States,
which has become a powerful organi
zation. will make a strenuous effort
to get legislation through. The league
believes the time is ripe for the long-!
delayed federal legislation. With the
fight against the liquor power raging
successfully in more than half the
states in the union, the league officers
feel encouraged to believe that con
gress will no longer refuse to enact
.he desired legislation.
The states are doing handsomely,
say men who are preparing to lead
the temperance fight before congress
at the coming session, but what has
the federal government been doing?
think every child, boy or girl, should
learn the art of swimming.
In connection with the effort of the
commissioners to secure these publk
baths it is also likely they will en
deavor to establish one or two publk
laundries in the District. This idee
is something new and novel in thi
part of the country, although such
places are common throughout Eu
rope.
It is the belief that a public laundr>
should be connected with eVery public
bathhouse erected in the District and
to have each laundry suppneu with not
less than 30 stationary wash tubs
where the women of the poorer class
eB can take their clothing to be wash
ed, requiring only a trifling sum foi
soap and other incidentals. Connectec
with each laundry it is the idea to
have a "drying-room,” where the worn
en can take clothes after the washing
to be dried, either by hot air or steam.
CaNGRESS MAY SHAKE
UP THE LIQUOR TRAFFIC
It has, they say, been nullifying the
state laws in two ways. The offense
of which most complaint is made is
that of permitting the shipment of
liquor in unbroken packages from one
state in the “dry” territory of an
other state.
It is also asserted that the federal
government is directly antagonizing
states by licensing the sale of liquor
in territory that has been made “dry’
under state laws. In its anxiety to
swell its internal revenue receipts, it
is alleged, the government, through
its internal revenue department, is
constantly recognizing the lawless
liquor element by issuing government
Jicenses.
The fight of the session will center
around the bill giving state control of
interstate shipments of liquor into
“dry” territory when they reach the
state border, but the temperance
0-rces may go further and demand
that the federal government’s internal
revenue department shall not issue a
government license to any person who
has not first complied with all the re
quirements of the state law governing
the sale of intoxicating liquors. The
movement, in short, is to bring the
federal government to the support of
the states in the effort that is being
made everywhere for the better regu
lation and control of the liquor traffic
——■■——. ———
AIDS AT WHITE HOUSE
ON THE ANXIOUS SEAT
IT hia own request, it is said, Lieut, returned to their regular stations and
Philip H. Sherida-. has been re- on warships in foreign waters,
lieved as military aid at the white Of the ten White House aids of last,
house and returned to active service season it is now understood in mili
in his regiment, r.s he is desirous of ^ary an<* naval circles that it is doubt*
working out his future in the army *ul ^ more than four will be retained,
as a soldier in the field rather than Sheridan, following
enjoying the life of comparative idle- “*at °f L,*ut U’ Grant 111 ,ast sea
ness at Washington son- breaks Up the trio combination
ness at Washington. of the three 80ns Qf noted c,v„ war
Lieut. Sheridan was one of the generals who surrounded the president
most popular aids at the white house at his social functions. Lee .being the
during the last two seasons, and it only one now retained. The Whit*
was understood among his many Hcuse aids last season, in addition to
friends that he would be enabled to Col. Bromwell, Capts. McCoy and Le*
retain the choice social position and Lieut. Sheridan, were: Capt. Ar
throughout the coming season. Re- thur E. Harding, United States ma
cently, however, it developed that rine corps; Chauncey Shark ford,
pressure was being brought by friends United States navy; Lieut. Douglas
of other young officers to land the MacArthur, United States army engi
Wfiite House detail for them, and It neer corps, son of Lieut. Gen. Arthur
is thought possible that the president MacArthur; Lieut. C. R. Train, United
may have decided upon a change in States navy, son of the late Rear Ad
order to give others an opportunity miral Train; Ensign Sumner Read,
to shine at the executive mansion. In United States navy; Lieut. Roscoe C.
this connection it is now rumored that Bulmer, United States navy, and
a number of other officers will be re- Lieut. C. R. Miller. United States
lieved of the White House detail and navy.
AND LATER IT WAS
23 FOR THE FLORIST
THE other day one of the well-known
clerks of the war department
died. He had been a telegraph op
erator before he was appointed to his
clerkship and had worked In the tele
graph division In the war department
for some years. When his fellow op
erators learned of his death they de
termined to send a floral tribute, and
a collection was taken up and order
given to the florist to make a large pil
low of flowers and mark in the center
the figures ' 73,” which in telegraph
language means the signal between
operators “My compliments and re
membrance.” On the day of the fu
neral the operators went to pay their
last respects to their clerk, and were
greatly shocked when they saw their
floral tribute on the casket, for instead
of the figures “73” there, in red im
mortels, on a white field of roses were
the figures "23.” It was too late to do
anything, and as the casket was borne
to the grave the pillow sent with
“Complimentn and remembrances”
was marked with the message “23."
The next day an indignant commit
tee of telegraphers waited on the flor
iah dor an explanation. All he could
say was that he had never heard ot
“73,” but he knew “23” and thought
that was what they wanted.
Eternal Love.
The bride of three short months
was weeping convulsively.
“What’s the trouble?” queried the
other fraction of toe combine.
“You swore to live and cherish me
until time should be no more. You
said your love was eternal,” she re
plied, “and now after a few weeks of
married life you are cold and indiffer
ent”
“Oh, well, you needn't make such a
fuss about it,” he growled. “How
long did you expect eternal affection
to last, anyway?”
Not the Right Kind.
“I have been trying the so-called
fruit cure,” said the dyspeptic. “For
the last month 1 have eaten nothing
but fruit, but it hasn’t benefited me
in the least.”
“That’s strange,” rejoined the
healthy man. "Just look at me; I
subsist entirely upon fruit”
“What kind of fruit?” queHed the
Other., .
“The fruit of my own labor,” was
the significant reply.