Colored Gentility in the Happy . By Emily McGuire A Southern Woman Tells Quaint Anecdotes About Some Colored Folk She Met in Old Virginia— Secluded Abode on the Top of the Alleghanies Which Has Been Visited by Many Noted Persons. Including Washington and Jeffer son. Whose Names May Now Be Seen There on the Hotel Register. (Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.) (Mrs. Frederick McGuire is the wife of the president of the board of directors of the Corcoran art gallery, of Washington, T>. C„ and is conspicuous in society and art circles of the national capital.) On the top of the Alleghany moun tains, in the very heart of the "Old Dominion," lies the most perfect mod ern reproduction of that real old Ar cadia so beloved by the poets. Nor is it such a very modern reproduc tion, either, because the "happy val ley” of which I am speaking has been visited by succeeding generations of devoted pilgrims since the early days of our young republic, and among the many names found on the register of the quaint little hotel there can be seen those of Washington and Jeffer son and many others which are also inscribed upon the roll of fame. In this Warm Springs valley of which I am speaking not only does the sunshine seem of a different char acter, its rays coming to earth soft ened and veiled by a mist, which, though golden during the day, turns to purple toward evening, but the song of the bird becomes more melo dious. the bee hums more drowsily, the streams ripple more musically, the leaves rustle more soothingly; but our fellow beings whom we meet there are of a different order from any whom I have met elsewhere, and are possessed of a qtiaint and humorous turn of mind and have an originality exclusively their own. Of course if must be explained that I am speaking now only of the col ored race. The first time I entered this “happy valley,” more than 20 years ago, 1 said to an old negro, who looked as if he had grown old with the mountains: "Is the train on time this morning?" and he responded: "Oh, no. indeed, honey, dat train ain't on time.” Then I asked: “How much is it behind time?" and he said: •JV hours.” I was appalled, and asked: "Has it ever been as much as four hours late before?" and he an swered: "Yes, indeed, honey; one day las' week de train never come at all." But a little circumstance like that did not seem to have the power to over throw the equipoise of that calm com munity. They also have a phraseology and a vocabulary all their own, but what they say never for a moment leaves any doubt in your mind as to what they mean. 1 once went into the cabin of a poor woman where death had entered, and, not seeing any means or methods of burial. I asked: "Whaf will be done?” and the woman replied: "Why, Mr. Crizer has always undertook in our family, and always done it well.” Old I nele Billie, who was always regarded as a "last court of appeal" in matters meterologicai, was once asked what he supposed was the cause of some peculiarly disagreeable weather, and his explanation was: "The heavy respect ions of the at mosphere make the elements dismal.” Which really sounded so exactly a3 If it had been promulgated by the weather bureau that we almost hoped to secure “Old Billie” a position in the signal service on the strength of it. In the ‘ Cowardin Cap" of the Alle phauy mountains, at a little settle ment bearing the classic name of Shake-Rag. stands a colored church, of what denomination I never have been able to discover, and to be there when there is either a wedding in the church or a baptizing in the Jackson river near by, to see the bucolic trav esties upon the prevailing modes, es pecially in the matter of chignons and j>oropadours, is a liberal education. A window s mourning, if one happens to be there, is something fearful and wonderful to behold. At a baptizing in the Jackson river on one occasion I saw and heard hundreds of the faithful singing and shouting: “Now eve-ry one of you that thirst, Step down into the water. And free-ly drink and squenc-h that thirst, I,ike Zion's son and daughter.” At a recent wedding in the church at Shake-Rag the preacher, who seemed to have heard rumors of the matrimonial snares and pitfalls of the outer world, made a charge to the contracting parties—a laundress and a waiter from the Warm Springs ho tel—and concluded by saying: "And may you live together forever in un avoidable infidelity and may you never suppurate.’ It is amusing, also, to see what rare combinations of Christian humanity and worltlj pride cne frequently en counters in that peaceful valley. I once attempted to adjust a difficulty which* hud arisen between two old female colored autocrats' living in that mountain gap. and finally one of them said to me: “The trouble is in this here Gap that these niggers wili speak mistruths which ain’t outright, and make it: hard for Sister Jane.” “Oh,” said I, “if you are Jane’s sis ter, I can soon settle the whole diffi culty.” She placed her arms akimbo, cast a baleful and rebuking eye upon me, and replied: * “Sister in de Lord, honey, and de First Baptist church, colored.” She flouted the idea ot their being of the same family or blood. At the sweet little old Warm Springs hotel near by, presided ovei by two sisters, high-born, high-bred Carolina gentlewomen, one meets al the true aristocracy of the southern states, and there the rude world never seems to enter, there being nothing to attract the flashy element. On : the contrarj, a high-bred distinction seems to characterize the place, and it is neither impressed by the pres ence or depressed by the absence ot i the “smart set.” A woman at the north once wrote to a friend at the Warm Springs that she was not able to join her there, and gave as one reason that she had not been able to provide a summer wardrobe that season. The friend at the Warm Springs responded, say ing. “Here one needs no new ward robe nor any large bank account, but one does require a 'family tree;’ so if you have ancestors, bring them, as here every one is the granddaughter of a dead president, or, at least, of Patrick Henry." The wonderful thermal baths here are presided over by two most typ t ical and interesting colored people, and these hot pools are 50 feet in diameter and the water has a temper ature of 08 degrees. Jackson, who has been at the men's bathhouses for these many years, is a great authority upon gout and rheumatism, a great believer in the occult and the un seen, in omens, and conjuring, and is regarded with deep respect by his own kind as a reliable and dependable interpreter of dreams. Fanny Shep ard, whose term of service at the women’s bathhouse has been as long Is Jackson's, is as picturesque and interesting a character as is he. She was indignant, because the ho tel official who "personal!}' conduct ed" President McKinley to see "hei nool." had not only not officially pre sented her to him, but had not even told her who he was. She com plained to me that "when he come from the men's poo! that I seen Jack son a-bowin' and a-coDgeerin' to him," but that had not enlightened her. She said further: "The president would have been interested in me il any one had toid him that I have a son who is a missionary in Africa, and who is a fellow of the Royal Geo graphical society, of London, and who had dined with Queen Victoria at ho: own table at Windsor castle.” All of which I knew to be true, be cause I knew this son. William Shep ard. and during my early years at the Warm Springs he was one ol the waiters in the dining-room and at the same time a Baptist preacher | but he felt called upon to go iutc I the missionary field and he went tc Africa. There it was soon manifest that he could exercise great influence over some of the most savage of the African tribes. He is one of those who has penetrated the farthest intc some of these African wildernesses. He was invited to London by the Royal Geographical society, w'hicb made hint one of its members, and he was invited liy Queen Victoria, and did dine with her at her own tabic in Windsor castle. The whole ol my account of this part of the world, however, must not be accorded to human nature alone The grand and beautiful scenery must be spoken of to those who have not had the good fortune to see for them selves. Nothing in nature can be as beau tiful as to see the spring come up in the Warm Springs valley. The whole face of the level country is white with the bloom of the locust and the dog wood and of the fruit blossoms, es pecially the apple, for which that re gion of the country is celebrated. Then there is a native thorn, which when in full bloom, looks as if snow had fallen upon it, and in passing any cottage or farmhouse the atmosphere is heavy with the fragrance of li lacs and lilies of the valley, while the fields are heavenly blue with myriads of waving Roman hyacinths. No pen can adequately describe the mountain sides at this season. They are literally atdaze with laurel, rhod odendron and the wild mountain aza lea in pink, orange and pale yellow. In all seasons of the year nature is at her best here but the beauty, charm and enchantment of the spring are be yond anything I have seen in the world elsewhere. Upon a clear, exqui site day these lines insensibly glide into the mind: “Blue isjes of heaven laugh between And far ip forest depths unseen, The topmost e):m trees gather green From draughts of balmy air.” ---.. THE NEW BABY. Mrs. /Jones—Now, Mr. Bachelor. I want yon to suggest a name for the baby. ^ Mr. Bachelor—Suppose you call her “The White Squall.” THE DWARF. How to Have a Great Deal of Fun, with a Very Little Trouble. This is a peculiar looking dwarf that stands on the table, is it not? You could, with the assistance of a friend and some of mother's ward robe, make the dwarf and so delight On the Stage. your r'tyniEtcs at an afternoon or evening company, says the Brooklyn Citizen. It is done in tliis way: Your hands are placed in a child's shoes, after which you must rest your hands on the table. They will have the appearance of real feet. Pm a bonnet on your bead, a shaw! over your shoulders and a child's petticoat, to cover your arms. Now your friend stands behind you, con c. aied by the curtains. She thrusts her arms out on each side of your body, giving tlie dwarf the missing arms and hands, if your friend is original, she can make all sorts of tunny gestures, while you recite, dug songs and see what fim it is and hew easy it is to work. NOT A GARDEN OF EDEN. Scotchman's Neat Description of Land He Thought Worthless. Upton Sinclair was discussing in New York the government’s attacks upon predatory and lawbreaking trust s. "It looks as if tnes& trusts." said Mr. Sinclair, "will have to obey the law, or else their owners will find themselves as badly sold as the rich Bostonian who bought an estate in Scotland called Glen Accra. The Bos tonian bought this estate without hav ing seen. it. He believed that he could trust the man he bought it from. And last summer he went over to have a look at the place. The drive from the nearest railway station to Gl*:-n Acer© was a matter of 12 miles. The Bostonian hired a Highlander to drive him. As the cart jogged along, tlie Bostonian said: " 'I suppose yot^ know tbe country hereabouts pretty well, friend?' “ ‘Aye. ilka foot o't,' the Scot an swered. " 'And do you know Glen Accra?’ •' ‘Aye, week' was the reply. "'What sort of a place is it?' the American asked. "The Scot smiled grimly. “ ‘Aweek’ he said, ‘if ye saw the de'ii tethered on it ye'd juist say: Poor brute!’ ” CAN YOU IMPROVE THIS? A Bit of Pure English Which Lincoln Wrote and Lived Up To. It is not very well known that in the hail of one of th^ great colleges of England there hangs a frame in closing a few sentences of which Abraham Lincoln is the author. They are considered the best English that was ever written. You or I might read them over and call them very simple indeed. And they are so sim ple that any child who reads at all can read and understand them. That is one thing that makes them great. It was his being simple and plain that made Lincoln himself great. Now here is a little paragraph bj Lincoln which he made a rule of his conduct. Suppose you try to write it over and see how much you can im prove it. See if each word is the right one', and try to find a better word for the place. Notice how sim ple this is. all but two are words of a single syllable: “I am not bound to win. but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but 1 am bound to live up to the light I have. I must stand with anybody that stands right, stand with hint while he is right, and part with him when he goes wrong.” After-Dinner Naps. Complete relaxation after eating—a suspension of mental and physical ac tivity—will favor the processes of nat ural digestion, not only because of its tranquillizing effect upon the‘ nerves, but because the stomach may use the surplus unused energies of the body in the process of digestion. Happy the man or woman who can take an “after-dinner nap." It means health, happiness and long life.—What to Eat. Can You Write It Correctly? In a proclamation thanking the care ful drivers of automobiles,'the acting mayor of a New Jersey city says, “It is to them we are indebted for the few accidents experienced.” There is no doubt of what he meant to say, bat it is evident that his grammar teacher did not warn him enough against syntax when he went to school. How many boys mid girls can write the sentence corrective ‘■'a 2 • 1 QUEER. ! i Miss Agatha Dunn Hat o;.t in the sun And faded her pretty pink gown. Mamma scolded, well, until ‘'10 tears fell In tofn nts that threatened to drown. "Your dress is a sight, I declare it is white. But wear it you certainly must! ’Tis a poor recompense that a child of > your sense Is too much of a baby to trust.” Miss Agatha Dunn sat out In tlie sun In a gown that had one time been pink. "If _I could only bring it back—oh, I would!” She cried, and proceeded to think. Some raspberry ice. so cooling and nice, In tlie freeser stood waiting for tea. Said Miss Dunn. “Oh. I guess, if I dip in my dress A beautiful pink it will be.” Miss A.gatha Dunn rose out of the sun And slipped ofT the gown in a trice; She rolled it up tight, there was no one in sight. And she soaked it in rasptierry ice. It came out quite pink, but what do you think! When tlie news of it reached mamma's ear. — % She scolded much more than she scolded before. Now, don't you think mothers are queer? —May Clay, In Washington Star. WOODWORK. Dry Branches of Trees Which Can Be Turned into Beautiful Ornaments. Any boy who is clever with his knife can make many pretty and use ful articles from dry branches of trees. One shown here is a keyholder, the other a photograph stand. They are cnt with a sharp pocketkuife and the different parts glued together or nailed with thin wire nails. The most important point about it is the joining of the pieces. Notice how the joints are cut to fit well together (see illus tration). When the keyholder frame is ready hooks and rings should be screwed into it to hang the frame up Things- You Can Make. and to hold the keys, says Washing ton Star. The back support of the photograph stand is fastened with thin strips of leather nailed down over the horizontal ends of the support. A WALL CABINET. It Is Easily Made and Is Artistic and Useful. Mere is a wall cabinet very easy to construct on account of its simple lines, and very attractive, also. The upper part of the back has a beveled edge mirror inserted in it. If this Completed Cabinet. cannot be afforded, get a furniture dealer to cut out a piece of mirror glass from a cracked mirror, usually to be found in such an establishment. If he does not have it, try a dealer in window glass. Your dealer may also keep in stock silvered mirror glass in various sizes. At either side of the mirror are ‘‘sconces" for candles, which give a Drawer Attachment. very beautiful effect In their reflection in the glas3. Below the shelf are two curved supporting brackets, between whieh can be fitted two drawers, the upper one to pull out and the lower one to tip outward on the pins, which support it at either end. These pins pass through the lower point of the brackets into the lower edge of the drawer! This is all plainly shown in Fig. 2. If the whole is made of some handsome wood, says the Orange Judd Farmer, the surface will only need oiling and careful rubbing with a woolen cloth. Easily Turned. A small boy was asked to take din ner at the home of a distinguished pro fessor in Princeton, says the Youths Companion. The lad’s mother, in fear lest he should commit some breach of etiquette, gave him repeated direc tions as to what he should and should not do. Upon his return from the great oc casion. the mother’s first question was. “Harold, did you get along at the table all right?” “Oh, yes, mamma, well enough.” “You’re sure you didn’t do anything that was not perfectly polite and gen tlemanly?'’ “Why, no—nothing to speak of.” "Then something did happen. What was it?” “But I fixed it all-right, mamma." “Tell me at once.” “WThy, 1 got along pretty will until the meat came, but while I was try ing to cut mine it slipped off onto the floor. But 1 made it all right" “What did you do?” “Oh, I just said, sort of carelessly, j ‘That's always the way with tough i meat'" BRAISED . MEAT -THE BEST. j Many Advantages in French Method of Cooking. Bruising is a combination of roast ing and stewing small joinls of meat in a shallow stewpan, called a “braisoire” or braiser, which has a close-fitting lid with a grooved edge r round it, on which hot coals (char coal) are placed. whereby the meat i can be cooked with a fire above it as ! well as under It. This process of cooking, it is said, greatly decreases loss by evaporation. It is a favorite method with the French, and is sup- ' posed to bring out an unusually fine flavor and aroma. The pan in which a braise Is to be made should always be lined with slices of bacon, carrot, onions and herbs, upon which the meat is placed, ft is usually moistened with stock or stock and wine. The more delicate | meats, such as sweetbreads, fillets, I fowls and turkeys are sometimes cov ered with buttered paper; this is done to prevent the heat from the top of the pan scorching or imparting to® much of a roast flavor to the meats which are to be braised. Occasional basting during the process of this method of cooking is essential. When done, t.he meat is taken up, the fat removed from the ' vegetables and gravy, which latter is then reduced, strained and blended with some kind of gravy or thin sauce. MAKES THE WORK EASY. How One Clever Woman Minimized Her Labor. One woman who does her own housework, from preference, ends the day with less fatigue than many housewives who have an assistant. She has a kitchen cabinet, a coal' range, and a gas stove, and a stool just high enough 'jo allow her to sit comfortably before the ironing table. Her house is as neat as any woman I can call to mind. Her husband has never ceased to marvel at her and her achievements, but system and thought are responsible for it all. It cannot be very comfortable for a man to go home from a hard day s work to find disorder, a tired woman and picked-ui) meals. Left-overs can be disguised, you know. and dainty table appointments and an air «f serenity will cover many shortcom ings of the larder. The majority of men dislike the bustle of home dress making and should be spared that ordeal—and a few others.—Montreal Herald. Laundry Note«. To make any clothing extra stiff when laundering, it is best to dry the garments first, then run through starch and dry the second time. Flour starch should not be used for dainty waists, since it gives a yellow tinge to them. A mixture of lump and gloss starch will be best and such ar ticles should be wrapped in damp towels instead of being sprinkled be fore ironing. First iron the sleeves, then the front, lastly the back and collar and place the waist to dry on a hanger made from a rolled newspaper tied in the middle with a string. This keeps the waist, from creasing by be ing hung with other clothes on the rack. Small starched articles like cuffs and collars should be dried be fore the kitchen fire or they absorb any dampness in the room and be come limp. Rag Carpets. The rag carpets once in such favor for the kitchen are really quite uusan itary from our modern viewpoint. They are bound to catch more than their share of grease. If you feel your dignity demands a floor covering of some kind choose linoleum. This will last for years if a good quality is bought. One wom an who has had hers on the bath room floor more than a decade, at tributes its perfect condition to washing it up once a week with skim milk. It costs her but a few cents and certainly the way an which the colors have been preserved warrant? double the expense. Winter Salad. Several hours before you want to use it, slice fine half a head of cab. bage. Put in cold water; peel a large parsnip, and put in water with cab bage. Do not cut parsnip. When wanted for use. drain cabbage and shake in a clean towel. Grate the parsnip on a vegetable grater. It should equal the cabbage in bulk. Ar range in alternate layers in a dish, with parsnip on top. Use any good boiled salad dressing. Do not pout it over salad, but pass in dish to each person. Than, if any salad is left over, it can be used in soup next day. To Make Flowers Stand Upon Bowl. Lay a large platter upside down on a good sized piece of white mosquito net. Then cut the net two inches | around the outline of the platter. I Overcast the material, taking stitches about one-half inch deep. Next run a drawstring—white twiner-all around the inside of the stitching; fit over the platter, draw tight, and. tie the twine. Fill the platter with water; stick through the net short stemmed flowers, preferably sweet peas, pan sies, or violets, and lean small ferns against the outside of the platter to hide the mosquito netting. German Pickles. °*e peck of green tomatoes and eight large onions. Slice and mix with a cupful of salt. Let stand five or six hours, drain and add one quart of vinegar and two quarts of water. Again drain and add two pounds of sugar and three quarts of vinegar; also two tablesponfuls each of cloves, cinnamon, ginger, allspice and mus tard and a dozen finely chopped green peppers. Boil again from one to two hours, and seal in glass or earthen jars. Dainty Biscuits. Into a quart of flour sift two heap ing teaspons of baking powder and a pinch of salt. Work in lightly with the finger tips one-half cup cold lard, and mix to a soft dougtr with fresh milk. Do not knead the dough, but roll out and'cut one-half inch thick and put Into shallow pans. Slip imme diately Into a hot oven and bake quickly. p J: - '*. o * ^ Gen. William Booth, like the true j soldier he is. never falters in the campaign against evil. He seemingly knows no fatigue. He never lacks for an idea, and never wearies in his search for precious souls. As one contemplates the man's vigor of mind and body in spite of his years and considers his marvelous gifts of lead ership and organization, he is re minded forcibly of the man Moses of sacred writ. And like Moses he has 'ed multitudes out of their Egypts of slavery to sin to the promised land 1 of blessing in God. Like an angel of light he passes swiftly from place.to place exhorting, encouraging, admon ishing. instructing. With tireless en ergies he directs the activities of the j great army of workers throughout the i world who have enlisted under the j banner of the cross and the Salva- j tion Army. He is always on the go. and notwithstanding the fullness of his years he thinks nothing of a swing around the world. Just as present he is in America, and both Canada and the United States are to feel the stimulus of his presence, as. according to present plans, he does not expect to return to England until some time in Novem ber, the closing campaign of soul-sav ing to be waged in New York city. IJor most, men approaching four score years such a trip as Gen. Booth has planned' would be an ordeal too trying, but in the life of the patriarch al head of tTte Salvation Army it is only an incident. Without successful contradiction he has been called the greatest traveler in the world, every nook and cranny of which he has vis ited during his tours of inspection of the 700 corps of his army. • In the present year Gen. Booth twice crossed the American continent on his trip to and from Japan, and during the few weeks spent in Eng land since his return from the orient he has scoured the length of England from north to south in an automobile, sometimes holding as many as six meetings a day in as many towns. Notwithstanding the honors accord ed him in his later years, Gen. Booth lives almost as simply as the humblest soldier in the ranks of his army. When he comes to New York two months hence he will not have a royal suite at one of the big hotels. Two small rooms at the national headquar ters of the army, No. 124 West Four teenth street will be fitted up for the use of the commander-in-chief. "He lives like a monk," Lieut. Col. Cox, editor-in-chief of the War Cry, said in discussing the democratic ar rangements being made for the gen eral's entertainment. “A bed to sleep on and some tea. toast and an egg to eat, constitute his material require ments." Oxford university last June con ferred the degree of Doctor of Civil Law on Gen. Booth, the highest schol astic honor England can bestow on HIS RETORT TO COAT THIEF. Chain Probably Was All That Settled Ownership. “There is a little town out in Iowa where our train stopped at the dinner hour for a few minutes the other day that is noted for the thieves about the station,” said a drummer at the Hoilenden the other day. "They know that most of the passengers leave the train to get a bite to eat and they go through the train and pick up suit cases, overcoats or any thing they can lay their hands on. Of course the conductors or the few pas sengers that are in the coaches can’t always tell but that the stuff belongs to the man taking it and they don't like to say anything. One man on our train knew the reputation of the pl$pe and when be laid his cravenette coat over the back of his Beat he ran a little chain around .the arms of the seat and through one sleeve of the coat and fastened it tfith a padlock. Then he moved hack to another seat to await results. In a little while a wall dressed young man passed her great men. Gowned in the hood and cloak of an Oxford doctor he takes his place"'on the same plane with the Archbishop of Canterbury, and that is regarded as a wonderful achievement for a man of whom Spur geon said only 10 years ago that he brought religion into contempt, and whose Christianity Huxley dubbed corybantic. In England to-day. as in every other country, Gen. Booth is honored as a great man who has performed a great work, but within the memory of men not yet old he was looked upon as a religious crank whose methods were thought to he an outrage on good taste and respectability. It has fallen to the lot of very few men who have lived for the benefit of their fellows to. receive during their lifetime such measure of recognition and honor as has been accorded to this high priest of a most aggressive religious organi zation. He has worked hard for what he has won. He worked for his or ganization, however, and not for him self. Gen. Booth was born in 1829. He became a Methodist minister, and with a passion for the reformation of the individual he engaged In evangel istic work. He was 32 jears old when he began his life's work as a Salva tionist. at Mile End road. East Lon don. His tabernacle was a tent pitched in a disused burial ground. His audience was from the White chapel district. For 12 years the work that sprang from that sermon was known as the Christian Mission, and its endeavors were confined largely to the East End. From that beginning there has sprung into being an organization in 53 countries that has 18,000 commis sioned officers and 700 army corps. The work extends from England into Russia. Canada. India, Sweden, France. Switzerland. Germany, Africa. Tasmania. New Zealand, China, Korea and the United States. Included in the charitable institu tions of the army are the prison gate and rescue work, inebriates' homes, boys' and girls' homes, farm colonies, immigration, naval and military homes. Samaritan brigades, hospital and benevolent visitation. Indian day schools, a bank and an insurance so ciety. Gen. Booth's life is so closely allied with the Salvation Ar(ij| thaj~" any sketch of him necessarily eludes a review of the gradual gJUkSbE! of that organization in' afl5B*Wi?* branches. " "'"“’r?* Closest to the heart of Gen. Booth of all his social reforms is the one launched in 1890, outlined in his book "Darkest England and the Way Out.” The scheme consists of three main planks, city colonies, land colonies and colonies over sea. That the oftener we make a deter- . mined effort to control temper, the easier does the task become? down the aiBle rapidly and grabbed up the coat ai he went by. He turned three or four different colors when he saw that the coat was nailed down. ‘I thought that was my coat.’ he said, as he looked around at the few of us who had noticed him. ” Yes,’ spoke up the owner of the coat, ‘and if I hadn't had it chained I guess it would have been yours.’ ”— Cleveland Plain Dealer. More Than Pleased. “Weall.v, I detest slang." said Reggy Ho real 1. > 'Oh, joy,” laughed the pretty girl with the box of futlge. „ "There it goes again. If you say. Oh joy’ again I shall go straight home, I weally -shall." ;‘Ob, joy! Oh. joy! Oh, joy!"—Chi cago Daily News. Broke. Mrs. A.—When my husband starts on his vaeation he always tells me he is coining back shortly. Mrs. Z.—And does he come back shortly? Mrs. A.—No, he generally comae back short