loup City Northwestern
J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher.
LOUP CITY, - . | NEBRASKA
American Universities.
Many serious people are asking seri
ous questions: What kind of students
go to the American universities?
What do they do while there? What
kind of men come away? Is the uni
versity a “place where pebbles are
polished and diamonds ar; blurred ?”
Is a real man hindered more than he
is benefited by his four years of un
dergraduate study? The first signifi
cant fact to be observed in certain
large universities is that outside in
terests are primary and university
work proper is secondary—from the
standpoint of the student. Athletics
and social affairs of different kinds
demand so much time, and the stu
dents keep such late hours, that they
are unable to do good work, even
when they have any desire to do so.
One instance cited by the Independ
ent will illustrate: A professor of na
tional reputation gives a course dur
ing the year to seniors. A large num
ber of the class have been absent as
much as one-third of the time. A
much larger number have failed to do
the assigned reading and to take the
work seriously. A student who shows
his interest either by asking ques
tions or answering them is laughed
at. The student prominent in uni
versity life is not often the one doing
good classwork from day to day, but
is a member of one of the many ath
letic teams, debating teams, or is
prominent in fraternity circles for
some reason entirely apart from good
scholarship. The professor mentioned
above remarks that he does not object
to play as such, but does object to
making play the primary object of col
lege life.
New York can never hope to catch
up with Chicago in some things, but
must be content to trail behind, a
hopeless second. In the matter of
selling public buildings to perfect
strangers the western amateur has
been content to take a small amount
of the purchase money to bind the
bargain and slide away into obscurity.
When the sucker came back with ex
pectant eyes and $700 more to com
plete the purchase of the Masonic
Temple or the street car power house
he was unable to find his former
friend in order to thrust the money
upon him. The New York shark
doesn't go after any such small game,
says the Chicago News. He sells a
likely looking building to anyone who
comes along and, by passing over a
forged deed, gets the whole amount
and the real owner doesn’t know any
thing about it until he reads in the
real estate transfers that somebody
has parted with one of his tall apart
ment buildings. Some day the New
York confidence man will sell to a
gullible stranger for a pleasure yacht
one of the choicest vessels In the
United States navy.
On the question of large families
Gov. Floyd of New Hampshire and
Prof. Edward A. Ross, head of the so
ciology department of the University
of Wisconsin, are paired. Gov. Floyd
blames a shortage in the cradle for
the falling off in numbers of New
Hampshire farmers and the necessity
for continually increasing state expen
ditures for roads and schools in the
farming districts. Prof. Ross de
| dares that large families have a ten
dency to stimulate class antagonism,
famtae, war, saber-toothed competi
tion, the dwarfing of women and
cheapening of men. And there you
are!
That Missouri clubwoman's sugges
tion of a husbands' hour is new evi
dence that women understand the art
of getting anything they want. “I
.have always liked Longfellow’s idea
of a children's hour,” she says, “but a
husband’s hour is an absolute neces
sity. Have your husband’s slippers
ready when he gets home, give him a
good dinner and then take your John
to one side for a Cozy chat, tell" him
just what you want politically and you
can get anything. A husband’s hour
is as good as equal sufferage and you
don’t have to wait a lifetime to get
/results.” And the lady isn’t mar
ried!
Commissioner Bingham, of New
York, says that policemen should
not be held responsible for the crime
waves any more than firemen are re
sponsible for‘the fire waves that oc
cur now and then. It is just as well
to admit, while we are about it, that
a swell is not always responsible for
the ocean waves.
Inhabitants of the animal kingdom
certainly are possessed of good rea
soning faculties. At Tomahawk, Wis.,
the other day a pint beer bottle was
found in the stomach of a fish, but the
cork had been extracted and the bot
tle was empty.
Women have discovered that wast
ing their strength and time on useless
tasks is foolish, says a Washington
paper. There are still a number of
women who try to reform men by
marrying them, however.
The United States is to be visited
by a real Filipino prince. But he is
not valuable as a matrimonial catch,
despite his title, as he already has
four wives, who will accompany their
better half on the trip.
In 1884 there were 1,477 divorces in
France. In 1906 there were 16,224. If
this rate of increase continues it will'
not be long before French men and
womep who have never been married
will be getting divorced.
r a
Prison Association Disclaimer.
Inasmuch as some of the newspapers
are placing a portion of the respon
sibility for the Bancroft lynching on
the Nebraska Prison association by
reason ot its connection with con
victs, members of that organization
have come to the front in its defense.
The prison association, as an associa
tion, nor any member of it as a mem
ber of the association, lias ever as
sisted in securing a parole or pardon
for' any prisoner. It is one of the
rules of the association that it is not
to interfere in any way with the trial
of the prisoner or in any way endeavor
to shoren or change his sentence
The sole object of the association is
to assist convicts after they have been
discharged from the penitentiary. It
has a committee of more than forty
members scattered over the state, the
duty of which is to secure employment
for these discharged convicts. Com
mitteemen are further obligated to
help the convict to lead a correct life
and to make his own way in the world.
The membership of the prison associa
tion is not made up of hysterical
women and hero worshippers, but of
the substantial business men of the
state. Practically all of the business
"The Pioneer Haymakers' Lunch Beyond the Missouri."
men of Lincoln belong to it, while
there are more than fifty of Omaha’s
business men on the membership roll.
These include judges of the district
courts, bankers, professional men and
others.
Crop Reports Coming In.
Labor Commissioner J. J. Ryder has
secured the services of a large num
ber of reliable crop reporters and with
their aid hopes to publish a bulletin in
October containing an estimate of tbe
yield in Nebraska. He has already
received many reports and will con
tinue to get them at Intervals until
the estimate is closed in the fall. He
has impressed the importance of ac
curacy upon the men who will report
conditions of growing crops, together
with the yield, and with a view to
making the report reliable has asked
the privilege of publishing the names
of his assistants. In most cases his
assistants have written that they have
no objection to being known as the
author of the reports from their com
mun'ties.
McVan Amends Complaint.
E. J. McVann, secretary of the
Omaha Grain exchange, amended his
complaint before the railroad commis
sioners over the discrimination of the
Great Northern road against Omaha
in favor of Minneapolis in grain ship
ments to make the complaint run
against the Wiimar & Sioux Falls
road. He feared that the order pro
hibiting discrimination made against
port of State Oil Inspector Allen for
disregarded by the Great Northern
on the Nebraska lines on the theory
that lines in Nebraska are a separate
corporation.
Hopkins Applies for Place.
Robert A. Hopkins, bookkeeper un
der former Secretary of State Ga
lusha, has applied for the position
of assistant under Superintendent
Sherman of the Kearney Industrial
school. Mr. Sherman has already of
fered the place to one man. bnt it is
not known whether he will accept.
Church Howe Coming Home.
Hon. Church Howe, who has re
cently been appointed as United
States consul to Manchester, England,
is expected home from Montreal, Can
ada, in a short time to spend half of
a sixty days’ vacation. The other half
will be spent at Hot Springs, Ark.
Want an Omaha Market.
Lincoln brick manufacturers want
to ship brick to Omaha. They have
insisted that the ra:e on brick from
Lincoln to Omaha be at least as low
as the rate from Table Rock and Hum
boldt to Omaha. This demand was
made by Secretary Whitten of the
Lincoln Commercial club on General
Freight Agent C. IS. Spens of the
Burlington. The present rate from
Lincoln to Omaha is 5 cents. Lincoln
brick men want at least a 3-cent rate
and declare they will go to the rail
way commission if not granted.
Officials Draw Salaries Quickly.
Since the auditor las compelled the
university regents to file vouchers for
claims against the state treasury,
some attention has been paid to the
time officers draw salaries. The stat
utes prescribe officers shall be paid
quarterly. During tire third quarter,
which began July 1, salaries have been
paid by the auditor .is follows: Land
Commissioner Eacon, July 5; -Superin
tendent McBrien, July 2; Governor
Sheldon, August 12; Auditor Seaarle,
July 6; Treasurer Brian, August 19;
Attorney General Thompson, Aug. 20.
* . *;' - « *' :»
Battle of Bucher’s Island.
All arrangements have been prac
tically completed for the celebration
of the thirty-ninth anniversary of
the battle of Beecher’s Island, to be
held near Haigler, this state, Septem
ber 17. It is eexpected about twenty'
of the survivors of that sanguinary
affray will be present The battle
was fought- September 17, 1868, by
a detachment of Kansas volunteer
scouts under Lieutenant Colonel
Forsyth, and took place on an island
in the’Arickaree river, near its junc
tion with the Republican river. The
fight lasted eight days, during which
nearly half of the command was
killed and many others wounded.
Among the killed was Lieutenant
Beecher of the regular army, a nephew
of the late Rev. Henry Ward Beecher
and from whom the island receives its
name. During the fight the command
had to subsist upon the putrid flesh
of slain horses. The party was fin
ally relieved by a detachment from
Forts Wallace and Hays, Kas., and
were found in a most pitiable plight
by the relieving party. The Indians
were under command of Chief Roman
Nose, who was killed during the en
gagement. The number of Indians
engaged in the fight was about 1,000,
while Forsyth’s command consisted
of about thirty men.
In 1905 the Beecher island associa
tion erected a monument on the isl
and to commemorate the fight, and
the survivors of the fight and rescu
ing parly hold annual reunions there.
Urges Action on Lumber Trust.
A*tomey General Thompson is pre
paring to go to St Louis the latter
part of September to meet with the
atorneys general of the several states
of the Mississippi valley to discuss
the enforcement of legislation enacted
by the various states relating to the
control of corporations. Mr. Thomp
son has received numerous requests
for information regarding his prose
cution of the alleged Lumber trust,
which is now pending in the supreme
court. Because of these requests and
his interest in this suit the attorney
general will urge the officials at the
conference to bring a united action
against the alleged National Lumber
trust. Mr. Thompson contends that
the lumber prices charged in every
state in the union is controlled by a
gigantic trust.
Burlington Will Refund Overcharge.
Owing to the error in making a
rate sheet, as the roads claim, the
overcharges collected on minimum
rates from shippers will be paid back
when a claim is made. The mini
mum was recently changed from 25
to 40 cents. Complaints poured in
upon the railway commissioners and
this resulted in the return of the
rate to its former amount The Bur
lington has written to one Beatrice
poultry dealer that be may secure the
overcharge and the same offer will
apply to other shippers who lost sim
ilarly.
Sub-Fish Hatcheries.
Chief Game Warden Carter has re
turned from Cherry county where In
company with Supeintendent W. J.
O’Brien he assisted in selecting two
sub-fish hatcheries. The last legisla
ture provided for the establishing of
one sub-station in Cherry county, the
cost not to exceed $2,000. One is to
be on the Minnechaduza river at Val
entine for trout, f\nd one eighteen
miles southwest of Wood lake, for
bass. The latter will be at or near
Red Deer lake.
Oil Inspector Reports.
Following is a summar of the re
por tof State Oil Inspector Allen for
July:
Number of barrels approved.... 17,904
Number of barrels rejected. 7
Total barrels Inspected.17,5*11
l-'ies for month.,...$1,791.10
June balance . 900.09
Total receipts .$2,691.10
Salaries and office expenses... S1.057.49
Excess paid to state treasurer 733.61
Balance on hand. 900.00
Total . $2,691.1'!
Offer to Lincoln Educator.
Superintendent W. L. Stephens of
Lincoln has been offered the presi
dency of a Wisconsin state normal
school and is in the east negotiating
with the regents. If the proper ar
rangements can be made he will take
charge of the college this fall. In
case of such an issue ' the Lincoln
schools will be without a superintend
ent. The offer was sudden and only
recently did Superintendent Stephens
contemplate leaving Lincoln. Prof.
Stephens has been a noted educator
in ^Nebraska for several years.
Will Not Test the Matter.
Regent C. S. Allen of the state uni
versity has come to the conclusion
that be does not want to test the
right of the university to audit its own
bills. He called on Deptuy Auditor
Cook, Secretary of State Junkin and
kState Treasurer Brian, making them
a proposition to file duplicate vouch
ers with the secretary of the univer
sity and .the state auditor. These
duplicate vouchers will contain in de
tail the amounts expended and the
articles for which they are expended.
It was agreed this covers the case.
GEORGIAN BAY ROUTE (BLACK LINE) COMPARED WITH THE
ROUTE VIA THE ERIE CANAL (DOTTED LINE).
Many thousands of years ago the
Great Lakes are supposed to have dis
charged their waters through the
French river. Lake Nipissing and the
Mattawa, Ottawa and St. Lawrence
rivers into the Atlantic. This is the
very route that Champlain followed
when he reached the inland seas and
gazed over their vast expanse.
Over this route for centuries passed
all the traffic between the Canada of
the early days and the western out
posts of the Hudson’s Bay company,
and this is to be the route of the
Georgian Bay canal, which Canada
now proposes to build and which will
be by far the shortest waterway be
tween the lakes and the ocean.
The project has been in the air for
years, but not till now has it taken
definite shape. Many questions have
been involved and among them the
form the canal should take. Should it
be a 14-foot canal for canalboats of
large size, or a 20-foot ship canal or a
30-foot ocean steamer proposition, so
that great ocean freighters might load
at lake ports and unload in Europe?
All the questions have now been an
swered. For two years the Georgian
Bay Canal Commission of Canada has
been studying every phase of the en
terprise and it is now preparing the
plans for the building of the canal.
u is to De a snip canal, providing a
continuous and easily navigable water
way, with a minimum depth of 21 feet,
from Georgian Bay to tidewater. The
cost is estimated at about $105,000,000.
The fact is, there is very little canal
to build. Some long stretches in the
rivers must be canalized at large ex
penses and about thirty miles of rocky
barrier and a few mud and sawdust
banks must be removed, but the whole
cost of connecting the lake ports with
the ocean will scarcely exceed the ap
propriation of New York state for the
improvement of the Erie canal.
Sir Wilfrid Laurier is reported as
saying that as soon as the first instal
ment of money is provided he will
have the work begun at once.
This will be the nearest approach to
an air line water route between the
lakes and the Atlantic for which nat
ure has provided facilities. It will
make a water channel between the
Soo canal and Montreal 350 miles
shorter than by way of the Welland
canal, the line of least resistance be
tween the lakes and the ocean.
Not a dallor will have to be spent
on the route from the Soo canal, the
great gateway Into Lake Superior, to
the mouth of the French river, on the
shore of Georgian bay. The route will
hug the Canadian coast, passing
through the North Channel, landlock
ed because the long island of Great
Manitoulin is a bulwark against the
waves of Lake Huron. Thus a deep
and protected channel from one to
fifteen miles wide is provided from the
Soo to the French river, a distance of
160 miles.
This river drains the waters of Lake
Nipissing to Georgian Bay, the lake
forming the summit level 70 feet
above the bay. At low water the
French river carries some 10,000 cubic
feet of water a second out of Lake
Nipissing and there will be J6 miles of
canalization on this river, with three
short rock cuts through the rapids.
East of the lake is the divide, which
is only about two miles wide and a
few feet above Nipissing. Then the de
scent begins through two small lakes
and the Mattawa river, which drops
150 feet into the broad bosom of the
stately Ottawa. This river, obstructed
by some stretches of rapids and banks
of sawdust, is otherwise broad -and
deep and will carry the lake fleet to
the St. Lawrence a little above Mont
real.
Producers and shippers in states of
the union bordering the lakes have
taken a great interest in this project
because It promises to give them the
shortest and cheapest water route to
the Atlantic. Not a few western rail
road men are also in hearty sympathy
with the enterprise.
J. J. Hill of the Great Northern rail
road said a while ago that the
Georgian Bay canal would be the most
popular enterprise that the Canadian
government would have to carry out
in many years. When it is completed;
he said, we shall see the grain busi
ness from north of St. Louis and as
far west as grain grows in the Platte
valley taking this route to the sea.
Only 32 miles of actual canal would
have to be dug, and for the remainder
of the distance existing water chan
nels could be used, with considerable
dredging here and there. He said that
the distance from Chicago or Duluth
to Montreal by this route would be a
little shorter than the lake routes now
in use between these ports and Buf
falo.
When the Georgian Bay canal is
completed, he predicted that grain
would be carried between Chicago or
Duluth and deep water at Montreal for
2 Vi cents a bushel, and refrigerator
ships drawing 19 or 20 feet of water
could load direct from the packing
houses at Chicago and sail to any port
in the world during the season of open
water of about 200 days. The St.
Lawrence is open when the lakes are
open.
It is thought that the plans pro
posed by the Canadian commission'
will enable powerful whaleback steam
ers, 280 to 300 feet long, to carry in
their holds and in towed barges about
12,000 tons of cargo at an average
speed of about 12 miles an hour, and
that the time between Chicago and
Montreal will be about 103 hours. The
time between Chicago and New York
by the lakes and improved Erie canal
route is estimated at 193 hours. The
distance between Montreal and Lon
don is 2,820 miles and between New
York and London, 3,130 miles. ,
It is expected that the new caned
will have a wonderful influence upon
the development of the Ottawa river.
It is estimated that with the comple
tion of the canal the water power
available along the river will be al
most as great as that of Niagara, and
for electrical purposes it will be far
superior to Niagara, because the pow
er at those falls is confined to a radius
of about 50 miles, while the Ottawa
river affords water power along 400
miles at convenient distances. With
so much cheap power available and
with its great resources of iron ore
and timber the Ottawa valley is ex
pected to develop into one of the great
manufacturing centers of the con
tinent.
The map printed here shows at a
glance how much shorter the proposed
new route from Chicago and Duluth to
the Atlantic is than the present routes
through the lakes and the Erie canal
to New York.
Slightly Mixed.
This is told as an actual happening
to a Kansas man. He and his family
had gathered around the supper table
and all heads were lowered for him to
ask a blessing, when the telephone
bell rang. The man answered it; and,
coming back to the table, again bowed
his head, but again the telephone rang.
He answered that call; then for the
third time seated himself and, bowing
his head, said “Hello!"—Lippincott’s.
Sn and the Nose.
Some industrious delver into things
has called attention to a curious asso
ciation between the letter sn and the
nose. The following words, beginning
with those two consonants, all have
some connection with that organ:
Snout, snar, sneeze, snast, snore, snub,
snarl, snuffy, snort, sneer, sniff, snig
ger, snuff, snift, snuffle, snooze, snaffle,
snivel.
Miracles Yet.
A baby floating all night at Bea
without being drowned; a watch found
in the lung of a cow; a man returning
to the owner a lost roll of bills—these
are among the things reported In the
papers. Yet we are told that the age
of miracles is past.
Stopped Payment.
The Denver National bank not long
ago received the following letter from
a lady well known in social circles:
Gentlemen:—Please stop payment on
the check I wrote out to-day, as I ac
cidentally burned it up. Yours, Mrs.
Blank.”
TOUCHING THE AGE LIMIT.
Rear Admiral Goodrich Makes Some
Pertinent Remarks.
In the remarks of Rear Admiral
Goodrich, U. S. N„ at the alumni din
ner, he said:
"As I look over the body of officers
I perceive no change from the gen
eral attitude which prevailed when I
was young. I remember very well the
time when I thought every officer over
45 years of age should be retired as
too old for active service. In short,
gentlemen, youth is radical now as it
was radical then; and age is always
conservative. But in a sense, I was
right when I drew the dead-line at 45.
Let us free our minds of cant and
boldly assert that it is not so much a
question of age of body as it is age
of brain.
"In the lower grades I recognize 4n
enthusiasm for efficiency which causes
turret officers to spend 12 hours out of
the 24 with their guns and mounts and
connections, not reluctantly but cheer
■ V. •;t:
fully. Each aspires to win the blue
ribbon of the service and Write his
name first on the competitive list,
l' “Do their captains share this spirit
and strive to excel their colleagues in
the happiness of their ships’ compan
ies, the efficiency of their commands,
and in their own ability to manage
their vessels with as much freedom
and certainty as Tom Shea in New
port handles his catboat?
“We whose remnant of active life
can readily be counted by months are
not necessarily too old. But too old
we certainly are if we fail to perceive
that what the Nation demands of us
is the trained faculty to direct the
movements of our ships and squad
rons In line of battle. I pray most
reverently that such a supreme test
may never come to us—but if it does
come and if we have wasted our prec
ious days in the nonessentials, such
as undue idolatry of the stadimeter,
then we shall go down before a more
skillful foe just as the formal move
ments of Frederick the Great vanish
ed into thin air before the battle tac
tics of Napoleon.—Army and Navy
Journal.
JAMIE WASTED NO TIME.
Youthful Philosopher Had Carefully
Thought Out Situation.
It was Jamie’s bath night. He had
several each week and he hated them
all. On this particular night, once
started, he soaked and splashed in the
tub for a full half hour, then his
mother haled him forth. He came out
of the room in his pajamas with his
face all streaked and dirty as it was
when he went in.
“Mercy!” cried his mother. “I
thought you took a bath.”
“So I did!” answered Jamie scorn
fully. “A bully one!”
“But your face is black!” said his
mother.
“Oh!” Jamie smiled understand
ing^. “My face is all right. I have
to wash that in the morning, bath or
no bath. You don’t s’pose I’m going
to waste time bathing my face! I
always begin just below my ears and
work down on my arms and legs; but
I always leave my face and hands—
those ends I ’tend to in the morning!”
PRESCRIPTIONS IN LATIN.
The Public Should Have Them Trans
lated by the Druggists.
What virtue is there in the secrecy
with which the doctor hedges about
his profession?
“Professional etiquette” occupies a
prominent place in the curriculum of
every medical school, and when strict
ly analyzed “professional etiquette”
seems to mean “doing what is best for
the doctor, individually and col
lectively.”
Among the things that “is best for
the doctor” is the writing of his pre
scriptions in Latin, and thus keeping
the public in ignorance not only of
what it is taking for its ills, but forc
ing a call upon the doctor each time
a prescription is needed.
In plain-^and unmistakable English
the writing of prescriptions in Latin
makes busiaess for the doctors.
Let us say that you have the ague.
You had it last year and the year be
fore. Each time you have visited the
doctor and he has prescribed for you
—in Latin. You have never known
what he has given you for the disease,
and so each time you are forced to go
to him again and give him an oppor
tunity to repeat his prescription—in
Latin, and his fee—in dollars.
If you ask the doctor why he uses
Latin in writing his prescriptions, why
he writes “aqua” when he means wa
ter, he will give you a technical dis
sertation on the purity of the Latin
language, and the fact that all words
are derived from it, etc. It will be a
dissertation that you may not be able
to answer, but it will hardly convince
you.
It would be a good thing for the pub
lic to devise a little code of ethics of
its own; ethics that will be “a good
thing for the public individually and
collectively.”
Let us apply one of the rules of this
code of ethics to you, the individual.
You call in the physician when you
have the ague, the grippe, or any of
the other ills to which human flesh is
heir, and which you may have again
some day. The doctor prescribes—in
Latin, and you take this, to you, mean
ingless scribble to the druggist to
have it compounded. Right here is
where you come in, if you are wise.
Say to the druggist that you want a
translation of that prescription. It is
your privilege to know what you are
taking. While the doctor’s code of
ethics may not recognize this right it
is yours just the same.
With the translated prescription in
your possession you have two distinct
advantages. You know what you are
taking, and should you wish to call
some other doctor at some time you
will be able to tell him what drugs you
have been putting into your system,
and also if you should have the same
disease again you can save yourself
a visit to the doctor, and his fee, by
taking this translated prescription to
the druggist once more and having it
refilled._
Jerome on Colored Evidence.
District Attorney’ Jerome, of New
York, said one day of a piece of sus
picious evidence:
“It is evidence that has been tam
pered with, colored. It is like the
lady’s report of her physician’s pre
scription.
“A lady one day in July visited her
physician. The man examined her
and said:
“ ‘Madam, you are only a little run
down. You need frequent baths and
plenty of fresh air, and I advise you to
dress in the coolest, most comfortable
clothes—nothing stiff or formal.’
“When she got home her husband
asked her what the physician had said.
The lady replied:
“ ‘He said I must go to the seashore,
do plenty of automobiling, and get
some new summer gowns.’ ”
She Experimented.
A little girl of five was taken tc
church one Sunday, and listened with
unexpected attention to the sermon
■ which graphically told the story ol
the stilling of the tempest on the Sea
of Galilee, and how Christ walked on
the waves. In the afternoon her moth
er missed her and began an anxious
search of the house. As she neared
the bathroom she heard sounds oi
splashing, and hurried to the door tc
’ behold a small, excited face peering
over the rim of the big white tub, and
to hear a small, excited voice ex
claim: “Say, mamma, this walking
on the water is quite a trick.”
Not Entire.
The aeronaut, after painfully ex
tricating himself from the wrecked
balloon, limped to the nearest farm
house.
“Madam,” he said to the woman
who answered his knock, “can you ac
commodate with a night’s lodging a
balloonist who has come to grief?”
“I'd be glad to,” she hesitated, “but
you are an entire stranger to—”
“Not an entire one,” he interrupted,
with some acerbity. “For I have left
my left ear, three teeth, and certain
portions of my nose back there with
the ruined car.”
Can Not Escape Thoughts.
Man is a thinking being, whether he
will or no: all he can do is to turn
his thoughts the best way.—Sir Wil
liam Temple.
HE HAD TO HAVE FRUIT.
Grapes Beyond His Purse, Boy Tock
Humble Substitute.
James Wilson, the secretary of agri
culture, was discussing in Washington
the aid which his department gives
the American farmer. He pointed
out the benefit that had been derived
from the Introduction of darum wheat,
of the wheat-testing machine, and of
the method of extracting potash from
granite.
"In fact,” said Mr. Wilson, smiling,
"I believe that eventually our finest
products will be cheap enough to be
within the reach of all. Then the
story of the boy and the hot-house
grapes will be as dead and antiquated
as the theater hat stories of the past.
“This boy—he was a bootblack—
entered a grocer’s store one day, anc1,
pointing to some superb grapes, said:
“ ‘Wot’s the price* o’ them there,
mister?’
“ ‘One dollar a pound, my lad,’ the
clerk replied.
“A look of anguish passed over the
boy’s face, and he said, hastily:
“ ‘Then give us a cent’s worth o’
carrots. I’m dead nuts on fruit.’ ”
_
Sheer white goods, in fact, any nn,»
wash goods when new, owe much of
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was;
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, w’hich has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the’
improved appearance of your work.
Born, Not Worn.
Little Margaret’s grandmother had
written for a photograph of her name
sake, the “baby.” For material rea
sons it was advisable that the little
girl should appear as well dressed as
possible, and a cousin's new open-work
dress was borrowed for the occasion.
On being arrayed for the picture Mar
garet rushed to her father, crying:
“Oh, father, just look! These ain’t
worn holes; they is born holes."—Har
per’s.
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury,
as mercury will surely destroy the sense of smell
and completely derange the whole system when
entering It through the mucous surfaces. Bach
articles should never be used except on prescrip
tions from reputable physicians, as the damage they
will dots ten fold to the good you can possibly de
rive from them. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured
by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O., contains no mer
cury, and Is taken Internally, acting directly upon
tne blood and mucous surfaces of the system. In
buying Hall’s Catarrh Cure be sure you get the
genuine. It Is taken internally and made In Toledo,
Ohio, by F. J Cheney A Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by Druggists. Price, 75c. per bottle.
Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation.
A Knock.
“Jimmy,” said the father, “there’s a
rip in your bathing suit. Go and sew
it up.”
“But papa,” growled the boy, “moth
er will sew it for me.”
“Never mind. I want you to learn
to sew yourself. For,” said the father,
“some day you will get married, and
then you won’t have any mother—yon
will only have a wife.”
The extraordinary popularity of fins
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great im
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all injurious chemicals, is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. Its great strength as a stiffener
makes half the usual quantity of Starch
necessary, with the result of perfect
finish, equal to that when the goods
were new.
Colleges Undesirable Fire Risks.
Colleges are now regarded as rather
undesirable insurance risks, and it Is
probable that the rate will be gen
erally increased. In 18 years 784 fires
have occurred in college buildings, en
tailing a loss of $10,500,000 in money
and a heavy loss of life. This makes
the average money loss over $13,000.
Reasonable Explanation.
"I wonder why a dog chases his
tail?”
“A sense of economy.”
“Economy?”
“Yes; can’t you see he is trying to
make both ends meet?”
Guns, Traps, Decoys, Etc.
Lowest prices. Write for freeeatalogNo.t
N. W. Hide & Fur Co., Minneapolis, Minn.
Lots of people manage to keep the
truth pretty busy with its struggles
to rise.
