The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917, August 22, 1907, Image 2
Loup City Northwestern J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher. LOUP CITY. - - NEBRASKA New Immigration Act. On July 1, 1907, the new lmmigra tioo act of February 20, 1907, went into effect. As this law is to repre sent, for the present at least, our pol icy with regard to the admission of alients to the United States, it is wail to see clearly at this time what changes the new act has made in pre vious legislation, -and what the prob able effects will be. . . . The new act is weak, remarks Robert DeC. Ward, in North American Review, in that the excellent “poor physique” clause is largely nullified by giving the secretary of commerce and labor authority to admit physically defec tive alients under bonds (except in cases of tuberculosis or loathsome and dangerous contagious diseases). All past experience goes to show that such bonds are useless. All common-sense goes to show that a physically defec tive and degenerate alien is undesir able, whether he be a public charge or not Better to have 100,000 aliens spending all their lives in American almshouses, insane asylums or prisons than to have 500 physically weak, de fective and degenerate aliens spend ing their lives in sweat shops or fac tories, and reproducing their kind, to hand down these qualities of degen erancy and of poor physique to suc ceeding generations. We might estab lish a physical standard for admission to this country like that of the United States army or navy. That would be too high. We might require every alien to have a physique sufficiently rugged to enable him to work at hard manual labor, whether he be a clerk or a painter or a farm hand. That, also, might be too severe. The very least we can do is to establish a phys ical standard such that any one so weak, degenerate or defective as to have his ability to support himself thereby interfered with should be ex cluded. The conservative element in China has been greatly upset by two inci dents which occurred almost simulta neously. The "holy duke, Yen,” who is a lineal descendant of Confucius in the seventy-sixth generation, visited Peking for the express purpose of op posing the government plan for a memorial university to his great an cestor. He expressed his belief that the institution should teach modern languages and modern science, as well as the Confuscian sacred books, which are the pillars of the old Chinese learning. The other incident, even more shocking to tradition, was the visit of Count Otani, the abbot of one of the most famous Buddhist mon asteries in Japan. He represents the advanced wing of the sect which advo cates the marriage of the priesthood, tolerates meat eating, and accepts modern science. He has his countess with him, and traveled in that most dangerous of “foreign devil wagons,” an automobile. Our attention has Just been called to the case of a diabolically clever young man in Iowa who invented a nevel method of discontinuing a love affair. He hit upon the scheme of pretending to be dead. He got in a coffin and had himself photographed with a border of flowers around him, and sent the photograph to the be trothed. She believes that he is in his grave and eaten by worms—and we congratulate her upon her sorrow ful condition, for it is nothing to the sorrow she would suffer if married to the unscrupulously inventive genius. The very large number of drown ingB now being reported brings out the familiar counsel as to the im portance of learning to swim. It hap pens, however, that in many of the more notable cases reported the vic tims were good swimmers and suc cumbed to their daring in tempting fate. The reckless swimmer exposes himself to more dangers than those who cannot swim at all. The land lubbers cac at least keep ashore. Most of the fine American vessels that fought the Spanish war in one round without loss of wind have been sent to the scrap pile or the museum as back numbers, or at least are in the repair shop, where the govern ment expert is looking them over and shaking his head. In building a mod ern warship the work must be hurried along as much aB possible lest the ves sel be out of date before it is com pleted. _ A duefto the death between auto mobiles must not only interest our numerous leisure classes who are al ways waiting around in anticipation of a dog fight, but also afford an impres sive exhibit in our unparalleled pros I perity. A Denver woman who said she “could die eating cucumbers” was found by the coroner lifeless, but with a cucumber in her hand and a happy smile on her face. Her record for veracity is unsurpassed. ' Cuba is thinking of adopting our American currency. It would be con venient for American travelers if all the rest of the world would do the game. ! Now that fashionable women have taken to going up in balloons in Paris, high society is getting higher than before. There were fewer strikes in thfe country in 1905 than in any year since 1 1892, if that is of any interest to you. --N Coal Rates Complained Of. The state railroad commission has filed a complaint with the interstate commerce commission charging that interstate rates charged by the Union Pacific railroad on coal shipped from Rock Springs and Hanna, Wyoming, are exhorbitant. It is charged that a blanket rate of $4.50 a ton is charged in Nebraska on Rock Springs coal and a blanket rate of $3.50 on coal shipped from Hanna. Rates to Kan sas for a greater distance are $4 a ton on Rock Springs coal. In addition to the complaint the commission sub mits to the interstate commerce com mission proposed rates. It is said that very little Wyoming coal is now used in Nebraska because the com pany will not ship the product of the mines which it controls to this state, and that the railroad has made lower rates to the west, and for this reason the coal is all going in that direction. The Union Pacific road also consumes a large amount of the product on its lines. The complaint of the commission states that the following rates are now ■charged: Rock Springs to Cheyenne, 293 miles, $2.30; to Pine Bluff, 328 miles, $3.75; to Smead, Neb. (near state line), 341 miles, $4.50; thence on to Omaha, 809 miles, and all intermediate points, 44.50. To Kansas points f rom Rock Springs: Cheyenne to Denver 400 miles, $.230; to Kansas-Colora.do state line, 592 .miles, $3.75; Weskan. Kan., 592 miles, and intermediate points, to Salina, 856 'miles, $4.00. , The following are the rates proposed by the Nebraska commission on coal from Rock Springs: To Kearney, Neb., and all branches north and south, and to Omaha, $3.25 on lump; $3 on pea; $2.75 on slack; from Hershey to Elm Creek, $3 lump; $2.75 on pea; $2.25 on slack; from Smead to Sidney, $2.50 on lump; $2.35 on pea; $2 on slack. The proposed rate on Hanna coal is as follows: From Grand Island east, including the main line and branches north and south, $2.75 on lump; $2.50 on pea; $2.25 on slack: from Cozad to 'Alda, $2.50 on lump; $2.25 on pea; $2 on slack; from Brule to Smead, $3 on dump; $1.75 on pea; $1.50 on slack. y Railroad Brought to Time. C. N. Carpenter of York has won a signal victory against the North western and Missouri Pacific rail roads and got possession ot a carload of coal which had been lying in the Northwestern yards at York for a month with demurrage charges piling up against some one. This carload also had a charge of $5 which the Missouri Pacific placed against it for reloading the coal from its own car into another. The coal was shipped from Indian Territory and was transferred to the North western road. Carpenter refused to accept the carload and pay the extra $5, and the railroad agents, with their 'usual assurance, declared he would pay the $5. Carpenter came to Uncoln at the time the coal arrived in Y<yk. He appealed to the state commission. The commissioners took the matter up with the Missouri Pacific, but the road declared it would do nothing. Carpenter went home, but came back and filed a formal complaint. He stated in his complaint that he knew more about the methods of the roads than they would care to have made .public. He insisted that he would not pay the $5 and the demurrage charges and he asked for a peremptory order to compel the railroad to give him the car of coal. The commission heard the com plaint, and when about to make the order desired were informed by the attorney for the Northwestern rail ■road that the matter would be fixed up between the Missouri Pacific and ythe shipper. Carpenter thanked the icommissioon and went home to unload yhis coal. .. He paid out a great deal more than the |5 in fighting his case, but he won out and will not be bothered^by similar charges after this. i Profit on Butter Fat. In a letter to the state railway ’Commission D. B. White, government •expert on dairying, stated that the net profit on butter fat is $7.40 a hundred pounds. He claims the creameries make this profit and his estimate is based on an estimate of 18 cents a pound for the product and an expense of $5.85 for manufactur ing. The price estimated for butter in these calculations is 25 cents a pound. Mr. White also includes -cop ies of telegrams exchanged between Eld Webster, chief of the dairy bu reau. Terminal Tax in Tennessee. Henry T. Clarke, member of the State Railway commission and of the legislature last winter, has received a marked copy of a publication showing that the state of Tennessee is going to adopt the principles of the terminal tax law in the distribution of its rail road property. The article states that Attorney General Cates has given an opinion that such a distribution is le gal and his opinion will be followed by the State Board of Assessment. Mr. Carke fathered the terminal tax bill in the house. Grain Rates to Be Lowered. The Nebraska Railway commission will nnter an order reducing the freight rates charged for transportation of grain in Nebraska 10 per cent This will be the first formal action of the new board in the rate controversy. The law specifies that when an order affecting rates is made, the roads shall have a space of thirty days in which to file their objections for the informa tion of the commissioners, after which the rate goes into effect unless taken into the courts or the hoard makes amendment of the order. Special Rate Orders. A number of special orders were authorized by the state railway com mission. Two contractors of Blair, Gilbert C. Himes and Herman Shields, had complained of the 3%-cent rate from Fremont to Blair on the North western. That road was ordered to put into effect a 2-cent rate. Permis sion to put in the following short dis tance passenger rates was granted the Burlington: Crawford to Omaha. $9.46; Ord to Alliance, $4.18; Hoag to Lin coln, 80 cents; Beatrice to Lincoln, Burnham and Benton, 80 cents; Put nam to Lincoln, Burnham and Benton, 94 cents; Blue Springs to Lincoln, Burnham and Benton, $1.08; Wymore to Lincoln and Burnham, $1.07; Garri son to Lincoln, 88 cents; Bellwood to Lincoln, $1.06; Fremont to Lincoln, $1.04; Columbus to Lincoln, $1.26. The Burlington was also authorized to make a rate of 5 cents per hundred on ice from York to Kearney, and a rate of 6 cents on stone from Blue Springs and Wymore to Central City. Land Office Report. The report of the southern section of the United States land office of this state in its report for the month of July shows that there were fourteen entries for homesteads, under the Kin kaid act mostly. Only four final proofs were made. Two entries were cash entries, two were for 560-acre tracts each, four were for sections as allowed undenr the Kinkaid act, and two others were for 480 acres each. All these homesteads were in the four southwest counties, Hayes, Hitchcock, Dundy and Chase. The two cash en tries were relinquishment claims that had been bought out. This can be done and the land paid for at the rate of $1.25 an acre, provided it has been resided on continuously for fourteen months. This law will only apply under the old homestead act, the Kin kaid act especially denying the right to pay in advance. There were no pubic sales of isolated tracts. In June there were several of these, but none were applied for in July. Under a new ruling these tracts cannot be bought for purposes of speculation. Oath must be taken that the buyer intends to live on the land. As a man can only make application once for the sale of these isolated tracts there is little incentive to ask for a public sale. Complain of Lumber Trust. Elmer E. Brown of Harvard called on Attorney General Thompson to bring him evidence concerning an al leged unlawful combination between two lumber dealers in his city—the J. H. Yost Lumber company and S. J. Rice. Brown claimed that these men sold lumber at exactly the same price and that lumber dealers in neighbor ing towns refused to sell him lumber at all, though he offered the spot cash. Brown had already written the attor ney general and the latter referred the case to County Attorney Stiner of Clay Center, who wrote the state legal department that he would investigate at once. Brown also claims these men sell coal as they do lumber and that last winter john Bain, an independent coal dealer, could not buy coal from C. B. Havens at Omaha, though he had been buying from him for years, because he sold coal 60 cents cheaper on the ton. Bain got his coal from Denver, though others, Brown said, bought of Havens. Band for State Fair. “The first band in the world, better than Innes,’ said C. H. Rudge of the board of managers of the state fair when he was asked about the Liberati band of New York that had been en gaged to give concerts at the state fair. This famous band promises to be one of the best drawing attrac tions the state fair has ever had. In addition to a band of fifty pieces the organization has with it several grand opera singers. The fair management feels that it is fortunate in being able to present this attraction to the peo ple of the state. Dead Man on Ticket. The primary ballot for use in the coming state primary will contain the name of a dead man, W. W. Elliott of Center. Mr. Elliott filed as a candi date for district clerk in his district, and on the 7th he was drowned. Sec retary of State Junkin has finally con cluded to leave the name on the ticket as he does not know what else to do. Mr. Elliott had no opposition. Uniform Reports Wanted. S. L. Lupton, representing the Inter state Commerce commission, will shortly be in Lincoln to confer with the State Railway commission regard ing a uniform report to be demanded of the common carriers. The commission notified the local commission of the coming visit of Mr. Lupton. Motion to Remand Express Case. Attorney General Thompson has filed a motion in the federal court to have remanded the suit against the express companies involving the Sibley law. Mr. Thompson claims the state has jurisdiction in the matter. New Game Birds Imported. Chief Game Warden George L. Car ter has ordered one hundred pairs ef Hungarian partridges and will parcel them out over the state wherever money can be raised to pay for them. These birds are quite similar to the ordinary, “Bob White” quail, only they are about twice the size of the quail. The birds will cost Mr. Carter $4.60 per pair and he will do the work of ship ping them out for nothing. The peo ple of Gordon have ransed $150 for se curing part of these birds and at Mer riman residents have raised $100 more. Lumber Dealers Pocket Profit. The complaint is being made that the law providing for a 15 per cent re daction in freight rates on lumber and other commodities has not resulted in any decrease in the price of lumber sold to the consumer. One of the large lumber dealers said he did not Intend to make any reduction because of a lower freight rate, but would take ad vantage of the law to fatten up hla own purse. When this bill was passed by the legislature it was argued that the consumer would get the benefit of any reduction in freight rates. v ‘ NEW i HONGS Y 's==z^ew’ hROU&D VS/L t jams n nnF*rg i fDEM" TO/LETTE WITH f iv. -~M/ ■ -T l K/MOMO SLEEVES WEWMAT W/T& 1 . //vvnu _J &/GH CQOWM-OF ' o I, ELOWER'S c The demi-toilette for evening wear is of the first importance at this time. The French demi-toilette resembles a tea gown only in so much that it Is picturesque and old-world. It is not in the very least untidy or floppy, and even an expert in such matters would find it difficult to clearly define the difference between it and a dinner gown suitable for ceremonious occa sions. The difference is very subtle and yet—ever present! Possibly it is a distinction which owes much to the arrangement of the hair and to the ornaments worn. Some wonder fully lovely gowns of this order have been made this season of fine silk gauze enriched with ribbon embroi deries, or with borderie Anglaise car ried out in delicate pastel tints. The latter is a distinct novelty and en tirely satisfactory when designed and executed by a master hand. For exam ple, take a flowing skirt of creamy gauze, lavishly decorated in panels with broderie Anglaise worked in fine silver threads. On either side of these panels there were shaped insertions of Maltese lace—of exactly the same tint as the muslin—and at the ex treme hem of the skirt five flounces of Valenciennes; whil^ the bodice was arranged in picture fashion, having a large flschu of Valenciennes, which crossed in front and tucked away in the folded waistband of palest lib erty satin. The wide Japanese sleeves were made of the Maltese lace, and underneath there were the daintiest little puffings and frills of Valen ciennes. The peach-colored waist Dana Doastea two very iong ends at the left side, and these ends were drawn through a handsome buckle of gun metal set with small diamonds. It would be impossible to describe the poetic charm of this gown, and the dark buckle, with its brilliant frame, supplied just the right note. The sleeveless coat of tafTetas is entering a successful reign. This picturesque garment is almost always worn with muslin or lace gowns, and nine times out of ten the silk is of a dark and rather somber color. These silk coats are a short three-quarter length and semi-sack, back and front, and they are rarely closed in front, but are confined by chenille or silk ornaments, or, in some cases, they are lightly laced from throat to breast. The most conspicuous of Fashion’s new edicts will be the long coat, long er than they have been. These coats look equally well in both cloth and linen, and have charm when sup plied with the square sleeve, the el bow sleeve, or the ordinary coat sleeve. It is, indeed, a highly adapt able garment, upon which we propose to bestow our very best attentions from now until October at least, and this I prophesy as other wise people would have prophesied, because I know. But I am forgetting the novelty of the hour, and the like, being rare, should be treated with greater re Bpect. White flowers allied to white leaves, and looking for all the world like the conventional decoration of the conventional wedding-cake, are upon the hats which express the last word of Fashion. White .lilies of the valley allied to white rose-leaves I have mpt forming a thick wreath round a bell-shaped hat of brown straw lined with white chip; large white garden lilies with white leaves upstand in bold relief from a shape of purple straw, and white roses and white leaves encircle the broad brim of a hat of dull green lined with black glace. Here is novelty indeed—and for so much, and no more, I commend it. Apropos summer hats—very high crowns are slowly but surely creeping toward us. Just at present these high crowns are chiefly arranged in flow ers, but a little later we shall see a revival of the high ‘ flower pot” crown which used to be fashionable when the “Grecian bend” afforded fruitful topics for music-hall singers! It seems a thousand pities that we should think of adopting such a fash ion as this, the hat crowns of this year are so ideal and so infinitely be coming, and the “flower-pot” crown is so peculiarly inartistic. Unhappily it is no use to protest against Fash ion’s dictates, but let us hope that this revival, when it comes, will be short lived, and that there will be fouud leaders of Society with suffi cient taste and courage to protest against an ugly mode just as they protested against the meaningless short waist which is already dying the death. It is quite certain that nine women out of ten look best when something rich and dark is placed near, the face, not an entire black, or dark, hat nec essarily, but one with a lining of full tone and in a becoming tint. The very newest and most popular idea with regard to cloche hats is the flat lining of black, or dark hued, satin. As a rule, this lining does not reach quite to the edge of the hat, an inch of light straw being left plain. Black satin or taffetas is wonderfully effec A Novel Serge Costume. tive in an ivory straw cloche or one of Tuscan; rich bottle-green satin is used in the same way, and also dark Lancret blue, nut-brown and dark vio let, the latter color being quite a rage of the moment For example, take an ivory straw cloche which boasts a wide, rather high, crown, and a large drooping brim, the front of the latter being shorter than the back. And now just another word about the new circular veils of which we spoke in a former letter. The new blue spotted net—the blue which is exactly like cornflower-blue dusted over with ivory powder—is delight fully flattering to a clear complexion, when the veil is edged all round with an inch-wide band of ribbon velvet. These veils ought to be quite long— at least three yards—and of the finest and lightest net. They are pinndd round the cloche hat and thrown back from the face, making the most per fect frame it is possible to imagine. His Trouble. A small, quiet-looking man, smoking a large cigar, sat by the side of a me dium-sized automobile that was drawn out of the road as a large touring car came along, driven by a man with an interrogatory aspect. The man in the touring car slowed up and leaned over. “How long have you been here?” “About two hours.” “Can’t you find out what the mat ter is?” “No.” “Trouble with spark plug?” “Think not.” “How are your batteries?” “O. K.” “Haven’t got a short-circuit, have you?” “Oh, no.” "Got any gasoline in your tank?” "Plenty.” “Would you mind telling me, sir, just what’s the matter with that ma chine of yours?” ■ In answer, the man pointed to a large red farm house in the dis tance). “See that house out there?’’ he asked. “Yes, sir." “Well, sir, there isn’t anything the matter with this machine, but since noon my wife has been in that house kissing her sister’s first baby good-by. When she gets through, if you are not over a thousand miles away, and will leave your address, I will tele graph or. cable you the glad news at my own expense.” — Collier’s Weekly. Why They Don’t Speak. First Saleslady (disguising her pleasure) — What do you think, Mayme? A gentleman friend o’ mine sent my photo to that newspaper that’s running the beauty contest! Didn’t he have the nerve, though? I Second Saleslady—And the worst of it is them practical jokers never apolo gize.—Puck. Would Mean Immense Saving. Two hundred and fifty million dol lars a year wouid be saved if electrici ty were to supplant steam entirely. ARE PHYSICIANS’ PRESCRIPTIONS NOSTRUMS? To one not qualified, and few lay men are, to discriminate intelligently between physicians’ prescriptions, pro prietary medicines and nostrums, it may seem little short of a crime to hint even that physicians’ prescrip tions are in any manner related to nostrums; nevertheless, an impartial examination of all the facts in the case leads irresistibly to the conclu sion that every medicinal preparation compounded and dispensed by a physi cian is, in the strict sense of the word, a nostrum, and that the average, ready-prepared proprietary remedy is superior to the average specially-pre pared physicians’ prescription. What is a nostrum? According to the Standard Dictionary a nostrum is “a medicine the composition of which is kept a secret.” Now, when a physi cian compounds and dispenses with his own hands a remedy for the treat ment of a disease—and it is authorita tively stated that probably 60 per cent, of all physicians’ prescriptions in this country are so dispensed—the names and quantities of the ingre dients which constitute the remedy are not made known to the patient. Hence, since its composition is kept a secret by the physician, the remedy or prescription is unquestionably, in the true meaning of the word, a Simon pure nostrum. Furthermore, the pre scription compounded by the average physician is more than likely to be a perfect jumble—replete with thera peutic, physiologic and chemical in compatibilities and bearing all the ear marks of pharmaceutical incompe tency; for it is now generally admitted that unless a physician has made a special study of pharmacy and passed some time in a drug store for the pur pose of gaining a practical knowledge of modern pharmaceutical methods, he is not fitted to compound remedies for his patients. Moreover, a physi cian who compounds his own prescrip tions not only deprives the pharmacist of his just emoluments, but he endan gers the lives of patients; for it is only by the detection and elimination of errors in prescriptions by clever, competent prescriptionists that the safety of the public can be effectually shielded from the criminal blunders of ignorant physicians. Nor can it be said that the average physician is any more competent to formulate a prescription than he is to compound it, When memorized or di rectly copied from a book of “favorite prescriptions by famous physicians,” or from some text-book or medical journal, the prescription may be all that it should be. It is only when the physician is required to originate a formula on the spur of the moment that his incompetency is distinctly evi dent. Seemingly, however, the physi cians of the United States are little worse than the average British physi cian; (for we find Dr. James Burnett, lecturer on Practical Materia Medica and Pharmacy. Edinburgh, lamenting in the Medical Magazine the passing of the prescription and bemoaning the fact that seldom does he find a “final man” able to devise a prescription even in “good contracted Latin.” And what, it may be asked, is the status of the written prescription—the prescription that is compounded and dispensed by the pharmacist—is it, too, a nostrum? It may be contended that the patient, with the written formula in his possession, may learn the character of the remedy pre scribed. So, possibly, he might if he understood Latin and were a physician or a pharmacist, but as he usually pos sesses no professional training and eannot read Latin, the prescription is practically a dead secret to him. Furthermore, the average prescription is so badly written and so greatly abbreviated that even the pharmacist, skilled as he usually is in deciphering medical hieroglyphs, is constantly obliged to interview prescribers to find out what actually has been pre scribed. It may also be contended, that inasmuch as the formula is known to both physician and pharmacist the prescription cannot therefore be a se cret But with equal truth it might be contended that the formula of any so called nostrum is not a secret since it is known to both proprietor and manu facturer; for it must not be forgotten that according to reliable authority, 95 per cent, of the proprietors of so called patent medicines prepared in this country have their remedies made for them by large, reputable manufac turing pharmacists. But even should a patient be able to recognize the names of the ingredients mentioned in a formula he would only know half the story. It is seldom, for instance, that alcohol is speciflcally mentioned In a prescription, for it is usually masked in the form of tinctures and fluid extracts, as are a great many other substances. It is evident, there fore, that the ordinary formulated pre scription is, to the average patient, lit tle less than a secret remedy or nos trum. On the other hand, the formulae of nearly all the proprietary medicines that are exploited exclusively to the medical profession as well as those of a large percentage of the proprie tary remedies that are advertised to the public (the so-called patent medi cines) are published in full. Under the Food and Drugs Act, every medi cinal preparation entering interstate commerce is now required to have the proportion or quantity of alcohol, opium, cocain and- other habit-form ing or harmful ingredients which it may contain plainly printed on the label. As physicians' prescriptions seldom or never enter interstate com merce they are practically exempt un der the law. And if it be necessary for the public to know the composi tion of proprietary remedies, as is contended by those who through ig norance or for mercenary reasons are opposing the sale of all household remedies, why is it not equally neces sary for patients to know the compo sition of the remedy prescribed by a physicianf Does any sane person be lieve that the opium in a physician’s prescription is less potent or less like ly to create a drug habit than the opi um in a proprietary medicine? As a matter of fact, more opium-addicts and cocain-fiends have been made through the criminal carelessness of ignorant physicians than by any other means. Unquestionably, there a»-e a number of proprietary remedies on the market the sales of which should be prohibit ed, and no doubt they will be when the requirements of the Food and Drugs Act are rigidly enforced; many are frauds, pure and simple, and some are decidedly harmful. Of the aver age proprietary remedy, however, It may truthfully be said that it is dis tinctly better than the average physi cians’ prescription; for not only is its composition less secret, but it is pre pared for the proprietor by reputable manufacturing pharmacists in magnifi cently equipped laboratories and un der the supervision and advice of able chemists, competent physicians and skillful pharmacists. It should not be considered strange, therefore, that so many physicians prefer to prescribe these ready-prepared proprietary rem edies rather than trust those of their own devising. JUST THE SAME AS CURRENCY. Third Son Felt He Had Nothing to Reproach Himself with. William Knoepfel. of St. Louis, has invented and hopes to patent a secret plowing method for the cure of bald ness. “A genuine cure for baldness,” -j| said Mr. Knoepfel the other day, should make a man very rich. Why, men grow rich on fake cures. It is amazing, it really is, what fakes some of these cures are. Yet there’s money in them.” Mr. Knoepfel gave a loud, scornful laugh. "In their crookedness they remind me,” he said, "of the third son of the old eccentric. Per haps you have heard the story? Well, an old eccentric died and left his for tune equally to his three sons. But the will contained a strange proviso. Each heir was to place $100 in the coffin immediately before the inter ment. A few days after the interment the three young men met and discuss ed the queer proviso and its execu tion. ‘Well,’ said the oldest son, ‘my conscience is clear. I put my hundred in the coffin in clean, new notes.' ‘My conscience is clear, too,’ said the sec ond son. I put in my hundred in gold.’ ‘I, too, have nothing to reproach my self with,’ said the third son. ‘I had no cash at the time, though; so I wrote out a check for $300 in poor, dear father’s name, placed it in the coffin and took in change the $200 in currency that I found there.’ ” PUSHED THE BEAR ASIDE. Surveyor Tells of Experience He Does Not Care to Repeat. To walk right up to a monster bear and try to shove it out of the way and then escape without so much as a scratch is an experience of a lifetime. Harry I Engelbright found it so a few days ago in Diamond canyon, above Washington, says a Nevada City cor respondent of the Sacramento Bee. The young man, son of Congressman Engelbright, has just returned from the upper country, where he has been doing some surveying, and relates his thrilling experience. It was coming on dusk, at the close of the day’s work. In the brush-lined trail he saw pro truding what he thought were the hind quarters of some stray bovine. He walked up and gave the brute a shove. It came to its haunches with a snort that made his hair rise and caused him to beat a hasty retreat. The big brute looked around and then shuffled off into the woods. It was either asleep or else so busy eating ants from an old log that it failed to hear the young surveyor, whose footr steps were deadened by the thick car pet of pine needles. Later It was learned that the same bear, a monster cinnamon, had killed a dog earlier in the day. The dog ventured too close and with one blow of its paw the big beast sent it hurtling yards away, dead as a doornail. Magnifying Choir Leader's Voice. In the old village of Braybrook in Northamptonshire, England, is a mon ster trumpet, five six inches in length, and having a bell-shaped end two feet one inch in diameter. The trumpet is made up of ten rings, which in turn are made up of smaller parts. The use of this trumpet—only four of the kind are known to exist at the present day—was to magnify the voice of the leader in the choir and summon the people to the church service. At the present time neither the choir nor the service is in need of this extraor dinary “musical instrument,” but the vicar of the church takes care of the ancient relic and is fond of showing it to all visitors. Painfully Exaot. A New England man tells of a pros perous Connecticut farmer, painfully exact in money matters, who married a widow of Greenwich possessing in her own right the sum of $10,000. Shortly after the wedding a friend met the farmer, to whom he offered con gratulations, at the same time observ ing: “It’s a good thing for you, Malacbi, a marriage that means $10, 000 to you.” "Not quite that, Bill," said the farmer, “not quite thaL” “Why,” exclaimed the friend, “I under stood there was every cent of $10,000 in it for you!” “I had to pay $2 for a marriage license,” said Malachi. Diplomatic Salesman. An elderly woman entered a shop and asked to be shown some table cloths. The salesman brought a pile and showed them to her, but she said she had seen those elsewhere—noth ing suited her. “Haven’t you some thing new?” she asked. The man then brought another pile and showed them to her. “These are the newest patterns,” he said. “You will notice the edge runs right round the border and the center is in the middle.” “Dear me, yes. I will take half a dozen of them,” said the woman. Wit. A witty man is a dramatic perform er; in process of time be can no more exist without applause than he can exist without air; if his audience be small, or if they are inattentive, or if a new wit defrauds him of any por tion of his admiration, it is all over with him—he sickens and is extin guished. The applause of the thea ter on which he performs is so es sential to him that he must obtain it at the expense of decency, friend ship and good feeling. — Sydney Smith.