COLORED TROOPS
THEIR DISMISSAL BY PRESIDENT
ROOSEVELT.
THE SOUTH APPLAUDS HIS ACT
Brownsville Incident an Offset to the
Booker Washington Luncheon—■
Pendulum Swings Back as the Re
suit of Dismissal.
WASHINGTON—Tlie president’s de
termination to dismiss with dishonor
from the army of the United States
three companies of the Twenty-fifth in
fantry (colored; because of the "shoot
ing up” of the town of Brownsville,
Tex., wherein one man was killed and
several persons seriously wounded, has
created more discussion than any one
act of Theodore Roosevelt since he has
been president of the United States.
That the pendulum will swing back
Is a truism which particularly fits the
case of the colored troops of the Twen
ty-fifth infantry. Time wa3 when the
south looked upon Theodore Roosevelt,
by reason of his entertaining at lunch
eon the famous negro educator, Bookei
Washington, as everything that was
unfit and unholy. The north, and par
ticularly the New England section,
applauded the president's broadness of
view and saw in the Booker Washing
ton incident a personal and vital exem
plification of the Declaration of Inde
pendence, that “all men are created
free and equal.” The pendulum now
swings back. The south is hysterical
in praise of the actions of the presi
dent in dismissing from the service the
three companies whose nten are sup
posed to Lave engaged in the riot at
Brownsville. But where New England
and the north complimented the presi
dent in entertaining the first negro ed
ucator of the laud at the white house,
they are now found grilling the action
of the president, and have even gone
so far as to rais«*the question whether
the constitution gives the president the
power to summarily dismiss 165 men
comprising the three companies of the
Twenty-fifth infantry from the service
of the United States and forever refus
ing them the right to re-enter the serv
ice.
Two distinct camps have sprung up
in the War department growing out
of the episode and the discussion has
waged furiously, not only in the War
department, but in the clubs and lob
bies of the hotels. Tariff revisions,
the amendment of the rate law, ship
subsidy and other extremely important
legislation have been completely
pushed aside for the dismissal of the
three colored companies, and out ol
the discussion there is every reason
to believe a congressional investiga
tion will result.
WIFE TO PAY DEBTS.
That Is What Count Castellane Would
Like Done.
PARIS—It is probable that Count
Boni de Castellane will appeal from
the divorce decision. His final de
cision depends upon the outcome ol
the creditors’ case. If the court holds
that the debts are not jointly the
count’s and countess’s, but the count’s
alone, the count may appeal from
Ditte’s divorce decree. If the court
bolds the count jointly responsible, the
countess will have to satisfy the cred
itors herself, thereby letting the count
out. That will satisfy the count, who
does not care to face the future with
a colossal load of debt on his shoul
ders. ^
DOUELE TRAGEDY IN OHIO.
Mr. and Mrs. James Scott Mitchell of
Salem, Mass., Commit Suicide.
TOLEDO, O.—Mr. and Mrs. James
Scott Mitchell of Salem, Mass., were
found dead in bed at a rooming house
at Bellevue, east of here. When their
room was entered a strong odor of for
maldehyde gas was noticed. Coroner
Vermilya rendered a verdict of double
suicide. Later investigation, however,
revealed facts which, it is said, tended
to show that Mitchell drugged his wife
and caused her death and then com
mitted suicide by the same means.
Weathly Farmer Killed.
PAOLA, KAS.—Eugene Vohs, a
wealthy farmer, 62 years old, who lived
near Louisburg, was shot to death with
in a short distance of his home as he
was returning from Louisburg. His
wife heard the shot and found the body
of her husband lying at the bottom of
his wagon. There was a bullet hole
behind his ear. Carl Baker, 20 years
old, was arrested and held on sus
picion. No motive for the murder is
known.
Evangelist Killed.
COLMUBUS — Miss Josie Hewitt,
aged 40, an evangelist of Darbyville,
O., was killed by an interurban elec
tric car striking a carriage in which
she was riding at Linden.
Death of Major Markland.
MAYSVILLE, Ky.—Major M. W.
Markland. died at the Elks’ home. He
was born in this city October 5, 1838.
Hits Dance and Saloon.
DES MOINES—Archbishop Keane of
Dubuque has announced he will call all
his priests into conference and issue
an order that no absolution shall be
extended to any young woman who at
tends a public dance. Further than
this he will advise against extending
absolution to parents who knowingly
permit these public dance halls. He
says that any man who seeks political
advancement through a canvass for the
support of the saloon element is unfit
for public office.
Deal for Rubber Fields.
MEXICO—According to the Herald
the Continental Rubber company has
Just closed a deal for the purchase of
the Sabras hacienda and adjacent
property belonging to the Penna broth
ers of Torreon. The purchase price of
the Sabras hacienda is Bald to be $5,
000 000 and the price of the other
brings the total price to about $6,500,
000. The Sabras property consists of
2 000 000 acres, all of which contains
guavule shrub. The shrub is also
found on the other property purchased.
HONOR HERO OF REVOLUTION
REMAINS OF JAMES WILSON RE
INTERRED AT PHILADELPHIA.
Eatiy cf Great Patriot Placed Decide
Wife in Presence of Distin
guished Gathering.
Philadelphia. — In the presence
cf a distinguished company which
included a member of President
Roosevelt’s cabinet, justices of the
United States supreme court, the gov
ernor of Pennsylvania and other citi
zens, the body of James Wilson, one of
the great figures in the American
revolution, which lay in a North Car
olina grave for 10S years, was Thurs
day placed by the side of that of his
wife in the burial ground of historic
Christ church. The ceremonies at
tending the re-interment were simple
but impressive and were conducted
according to the rights of the Protes
tant Episcopal church.
The body of the great patriot was
disinterred from Us grave at Edenton,
N. C., Tuesday, and was conveyed to
this city on the gunboat Dubuque.
Prior to the services at Christ church,
the remains lay in state in the Declar
ation room in Independence Hall
where thousands of persons filed past
the bier. The body was escorted from
Independence Hall to Christ church
by a troop of Philadelphia cavalry,
and Justices Fuller, Day, Holmes and
White, of the United States supreme
court, of which tribunal Wilson was
one of the first members, acted as
honorary pall-bearers. On the way to
the church the procession passed the
grave of Benjamin Franklin where
it halted and stood in silence for a
moment.
Following the services for the dead,
tributes to the patriot were delivered
by Samuel Dickson, chancellor of the
law association of Philadelphia, for
the bar of Pennsylvania; Gov. Penny
packer, for the people of Pennsylva
nia: Dean Win. Draper-Lewis, for the
University of Pennsylvania; Judge
Alton B. Parker, for the American
bar; Andrew Carnegie, as lord rector
of St. Andrews University for Scotch
Americans, Wilson having been a na
tive of Scotland; Dr. S. Weir Mitchell,
for American literature; Justice
White, for the supreme court of the
United States; Attorney General
Moody for the president, the tribute
af the American people, and Attorney
General Hampton L. Carson, of Penn
sylvania, who delivered the oration.
PEARY ARRIVES AT SYDNEY.
Explorer Reaches Port After Long
Search for Pole.
Sydney, C. B.—Plying the flag of the
United States, which had been placed
nearer the north pole than any other
national standard, and weather-beaten
md disabled, the Peary arctic steamei
Roosevelt arrived here Friday under
sail and steam after 16 months’ vain
effort to reach the pole. Though not
entirely successful, the expedition nev
ertheless got to S7 degrees 6 minutes
north latitude.
Commander Peary came ashore al
most immediately after the steamei
anchored and joined Mrs. Peary, whc
has been here for two weeks waiting
for her husband’s return.
Commander Peary is enthusiastic
about the performance of the steamei
Roosevelt. Asked of the very ad
vanced point to which he had been
able to place the Roosevelt in winter
quarters was due to careful and in
creased knowledge of the movements
of the ice he said it was due to the
Roosevelt herself. He did not believe
there was ever another ship afloat
could have stood the battle with the
ice the Roosevelt had successfully
fought. The boilers were the one de
fective feature of the ship.
TO PROBE RISK COMPANIES.
Investigation of Action in Settling
’Frisco Quake Losses Ordered.
Washington. — Secretary Metcalf
of the department of commerce
and labor has directed the com
missioner of corporations to make an
investigation of the action of fire in
surance companies in the settlement
of claims for losses resulting from
the earthquake and fire in San Fran
cisco and other places in California.
George E. Butler, of Ross, Cal., has
been appointed special agent to con
duct this investigation in California.
Mr. Butler, is was stated, has had
an experience of 38 years in the fire
insurance business on the Pacific
coast
Canada Ends Mail Compact.
Washington. — As the result of
friction over publishers' privileges
in the two countries, the Canadian
government has notified this govern
ment that the postal convention be
tween the two countries will be abro
gated on May 7 next. The notice is
accompanied by a statement that it is
only in-so-far as it relates to second
class matter that this action is desired
to extend.
Former Illinois Speaker Dead.
Freeport, 111.—Edward L. Conkrite,
at one time speaker of the Illinois
house of representatives and widely
known in political and Masonic circles
throughout the west, died suddenly at
his home Friday.
Hotel Robbers Kill Two.
Arkansas City, Ark.—Early Friday
two masked men in an attempt to hold
up the St. Charles hotel here, shot and
instantly killed William Goff, the
night clerk, and S. A. Halpin, an
actor.
Vanderbilt Beats Carlisle.
Nashville, Tenn.—In a fierce grid
iron battle on Dudley field Thursday,
Vanderbilt defeated the Indians from
Carlisle by a score of 4 to 0. Bob
Blake, for Vanderbilt, kicked a goal
from the 17-yard line.
Fire in a Washington Town.
Bellingham, Wash.—Fire that broke
out in the Nooksaek hotel at
Nooksack City early Thursday de
stroyed the hotel and seven busi
ness buildings. Loss estimated at
*100,000.
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PROPHET FINED
PRESIDENT SMITH GUILTY OF
UNLAWFUL COHABITATION.
Is Sentenced to Pay $300 After Ex
plaining His Plural Marriage
Relations.
*
Salt Lake City.—Joseph F. Smith,
president of the Mormon church Fri
day afternoon appeared in the district
court before Judge Ritchie and plead
ed guilty to a charge of unlawful co
habitation, and a fine of $000 was im
posed.
The charge under which the Mor
man prophet was arrested and fined
was based on the recent birth of
President Smith’s forty-third child,
born to his fifth wife.
President Smith addressed the
court. He stated that his last mar
riage was in 3SS4. All his marriages,
he said, were entered into with the
sanction of his church, and, as they
believed, with the approval of the
Lord. According to his faith and the
law of the church they were eternal
in duration. He concluded:
“When I accepted the manifesto is
sued by President Wilford Woodruff
I did not understand that I would be
expected to tibandon and discard my
wives. Knowing the sacred coven
ants and obligations which I had
assumed by reason of these marriages,
I have conscientiously tried to dis
charge the responsibilities attending
them, without being offensive to any
one. I have never flaunted my fam
ily relations before the public, nor
have I felt a spirit of defiance against
the law, but, on the contrary, I have
always desired to be a law-abiding
citizen. In considering the trying po
sition in which I have been placed,
I trust that your honor will exercise
such leniency in your sentence as law
and jsutice will permit.”
Judge Ritchie imposed the maxi
mum fine, but omitted the jail sen
tence of from one day to six months,
which he might have imposed under
the Utah statute.
WHEAT PILED ON THE GROUND
Railways of Northwest Cannot Handle
the Grain.
Minneapolis, Minn.—In a special
statement prepared in the office of L.
T. Jamme, secretary of the Minneap
olis chamber of commerce, the most
extraordinary grain supply condition
ever known in the northwest is set
forth in detail. Minneapolis, on the
crop movement to date is behind 12.
798,390 bushels of wheat compared
with a year ago, and in receipts of
grain of all kind3 is short no less than
21,280,470 bushels.
It is a railroad proposition principal
ly. The roads have not been able to
handle the grain. Many lines of coun
try elevators are choked with wheat,
and grain lies in great piles on the
open ground at many stations.
Finds Cooperation a Failure.
Madison, Wis. — The report of
Commissioner J. D. Beck, of the
Wisconsin bureau of labor and statis
tics, contain a thorough study of co
operation business in the United
States. The conclusion is reached that
the business has been almost a com
plete failure.
Negro Troops Must Go.
Washington. — Secretary Taft’s
hands are off in the matter of the dis
charge of three negro companies of
the Twenty-fifth infantry. He has re
scinded his order to delay the dis
charges and has received a telegram
from the president declining to change
bis stand.
President Sails for Home.
Washington.—The navy department
was advised Thursday that the battle
ship Louisiana with President Roose
velt aboard, and convoyed by the bat
tleships Washington and Tennessee,
sailed from Ponce. Porto Rico, early
Thursday for Hampton roads.
Carl Lenk, Toledo, Dies.
Toledo, O.—Carl Lenk, prominent
and well-known as one of Toledo’s old
est business men, died here Thursday
after a lingering illness. He was 71
years old.
Burn Bacon to Keep Warm.
Carlsbad, N. W. — The fuel sup
ply In this town is exhausted and
people have been forced to burn bacon
to keep from freezing. Schools have
been dismissed in consequence of
the cold. The snow is a foot deep in
town and two feet on the range.
Blame Rests on Dead Man.
Seattle, Wash.—Testimony taken by
the marine inspection 3hows that Mate
Dennison was to blame for the loss of
the steamer Dix. He was among the
drowned.
GIANT SWINDLE IS BARED.
Federal Officials Uncover Gang of
Fake Promoters.
Chicago. — The federal authori
ties Tuesday unearthed what is
described by them as one of the
largest organizations of swindlers
e'Ter brought under the notice of the
postal inspectors. Headed by Thomas
D. Daniels, said to be a son of an ex
chief justice of New York, the band,
according to the confession of Dan
iels, has been maintaining magnificent
offices and pseudo corporations in
New York, Chicago, Milwaukee. San
Francisco and New Orleans, and the
inspectors believe that branches will
be found in many other cities.
Daniels, who has been going under
the name of Thomas E. Cameron and
conducting a brokerage agency in Mil
waukee, made a complete confession
to United States District Attorney
Butterfield and Post Office Inspector
Ralph Bird, which put the authorities
on the trail of offenders all over the
country. As a result of the confes
sion nine men were arrested in Chi
cago and one in Joliet.
Five concerns with high-sounding
names are caught iu the net, which
has been spread for weeks, and more
arrests are expected. The operations
of the band have extended to all
parts of the United States. The mem
bers of the band are said to have
fleeced thousands of victims.
MANY DIE IN LAKE STORM.
Twenty-Three Lives and Several Ves
sels Lest.
Buffalo, N. Y. — The gale of
Wednesday night and Thursday on the
great lakes caused a heavy loss to ves
sel property and 23 lives. The barge
Resolution sank off Toronto and six
men were drowned. The barge Ath
ens is probably lost off Sandusky, O.,
with eight men. All hope for the Ath
ens, however, has not been abandoned
and tugs are scouring Lake Erie for
her.
Chicago. — Driven miles out of
its course by the mile-a-;ninute gale
which raged over the lake, the steam
ship Frontenac of the Graham & Mor
ton line, a small steamer plying be
tween Chicago and St. Joseph, Mich.,
was buffeted about on the high sea
for almost 20 hours, until it was finally
driven into the harbor at Racine. Wis.,
at 7 o’clock Thursday. The steamer
was due in St. Joseph Wednesday
evening.
Grand Rapids, Mich. — Four men
who were caught by Wednesday
night's storm on the crib work
of the new breakwater at the
entrance to Holland harbor on Lake
Michigan, were drowned. Desperate
attempts were made by the life savers
when it was learned that the men
were caught, but efforts to reach the
pier in time were unavailing.
Caruso Guilty; Fined $10.
New York.—Enrico Caruso, the
famous grand opera tenor, was found
guilty of having annoyed women at
the zoological garden in Central park
He was fined $10 by Magistrate Baker.
Caruso’s counsel immediately an
nounced that they would appeal. The
appeal will take the form of a writ ol
certiorari, directing a review of the
case by the court of special sessions.
- — ■. ■■ . ---
Killed in Automobile Collision.
Philadelphia.—Ernest D. Keeler, oi
New York, demonstrator and profes
sional driver of racing automobiles,
was killed and Henry Lutton, of Col
wyn, Pa., was dangerously hurt in a
collision Friday while trying out rac
ing cars on the Point Breeze race
track, preparatory to the Quaker City
Motor club cup races. Keeler was
from Lansing, Mich.
Mayor Schmitz Denies Charge.
New York.—Mayor Schmitz, of San
Francisco, who arrived here Friday on
the steamship Patricia, said there was
absolutely no truth in the charges
made against him, and that he will go
to San Francisco and court the fullest
inquiry. No attempt to arrest Mr.
Schmitz was made.
To Hold Panpacific Exposition.
Honolulu. — The promotion com
mittee has arranged to hold a Pan
pacific exposition in this city next
year.
Shoots Teachers in Revenge.
Punxsutawney, Pa.—Because his
teacher refused to grant him permis
sion to go hunting, James Dougherty,
Jr., 16 years old, shot and seriously
wounded Prof. J. E. Kohler, principal,
and Meade Snyder, his assistant.
Actress Critically III.
New York.—Jennie Yeamans, the
.actress, daughter of Annie Yeamans,
the veteran player, is lying at the Ho
tel Girard critically ill. It is stated
that Miss Yeamans has galloping con
sumptioa and cannot long survive.
ON FATHER’S FARM
MAN OF MILLIONS HAS BUILT
SPLENDID PALACE.
Magnificent Private Estate Created
Out of Tract Where in His Youth
He Toiled Hard in Semi
Poverty.
In Morris county, New Jersey, re
sides a man of great wealth, whose
fortune is born of industrial life in
surance, and his splendid home is
founded upon the tract where in his
youth he drove the plow and herded
his father's cows. In business life he
is the next man to United States Sen
ator Dryden; in a social way he is
just the farmer’s boy grown up. But
as business opportunities opened up
in his career, he carried along his
farm with them, and next to Dryden
no man in New Jersey has a more
splendid estate. It is situated in the
borough of Florham Park, near Madi
son, and embraces some 5,000 acres.
Part of it was his father’s farm and
if his paternal relative were to wake
from his last sleep he would not know
the place on which he toiled so hard
to make a bare living, and on which
his life insurance son has spent mil
lions.
The private roads that run through
this estate are macadam in construc
tion and are 40 feet wide. There are
23% miles of them. They lead through
forests, which in their original form
were wildernesses, but by the Midas’
touch of wealth are transformed into
parks. The Passaic river flows
through or by them, and its tributary
waters are held in check to make
lakes and ponds, which are stocked
with fish, and on w-hose surface a fleet
of small pleasure boats float. On the
side of the old co»v barn is reared a
clock tower 100 feet high, on w-hose
summit is recorded time, facing the
cardinal points of the compass and
accented by a bell that chimes the
hours so that they are heard as far as
Morristown, Summit and Bernards
vil’e, 10 miles distant.
Fifty men are employed constantly
on the estate, sometimes 100 and even
more. The old farm blossoms under
the touch of wealth, and the farmer
boy coming home from the life insur
ance building daily drives through the
old cornfield, w-hich is now- a garden,
to a splendid big house where liveried
servants meet him and bow- to him on
the very spot where lie used to wash
his hands in a trough. There is no il
lustration more marked of sudden
w-ealth brought home, none at least
which has such loyalty to its nlace of
origin. Dr. Ward took a practitioner’s I
degree in medicine; that is, he was
licensed to cure if he could, and pa
tients came to him. He found the ac
quirement of patients difficult and
sought employment from the newly
established insurance company as an
examiner. It was not a difficult nor
a highly professional task, but as the
company grew- his fortunes grew with
it. So, as fortune came to him, he
has built up on the old homestead one
of the finest private estates in New
Jersey, if not in the United States,
and all of it resting on the trifle called
industrial life insurance.
Saw Chance For Susiness.
Captain Homer W. Hedge, president
of the Aero club, said in Pittsburg
apropos of a very dangerous balloon |
descent:
“This reminds me of a visit that
was paid to the aeronautical editor
of a certain newspai>er by a solemn
man in black.
“ ’The new Aero club Is doing well,
I believe?” the visitor began.
“ ’Yes,’ said the editor. ’We have
already ninety ntembers.’
“'Good! And ascensions w!!! soon
bet~n, eh?'
’• 'They will begin within the week.’
“‘Now. sir,’ said the man in black,
T will pay you one dollar a line if you
will write in your ‘answers to corre
spondents’ column that the quickest
and best way to descend in a balloon
is to bore a hole in the gas bag.’
“The editor shook his head.
“ ‘It's a liberal offer,’ he said, ‘but
I'm afraid we can't accept it.’
“The man in black sighed. ‘I am
sorry,’ he said, and he walked out.
“ ’Who is that man?’ asked a sten
ographer, looking up from his desk.
“ ’That,' the editor replied, is our
new coroner. He is paid by the job.' ”
Same Old Story.
It was the vacation rush in the bag
gage room of the big depot. Suddenly,
without warning, there was an explo
sion that shook the building.
"The trunk of an anarchist with a
bomb In it!” shouted the depot detec
tive.
“Russian Nihilists!” echoed a man
in the crowd.
“The Black Hand!" added a third.
But just then a meek little man
pushed his way through the crowd and
picked up the fragments of a hinge.
“Lucy's trunk!” he sighed. “I told
her if she forced anything else in that
trunk the wohle top would blow off.
But a man can't tell a woman any
thing when she is packing.”
Tenderly they lifted the poor
“smasher” from the floor and picked
from his anatomy one toothbrush
handle, one curling iron, a soap dish
and a belt buckle.
Wheeler Saw the Point.
Charles Nutting, an old inhabitant
of Jaffrey, N. H., but long since dead,
once went into the saloon kept by
Henry Wheeler, better known as
"Hen” Wheeler, in Rindge. “Hen”
had once kept a tavern in Jaffrey, and
of course was acquainted with Mr.
Nutting.
Nutting called for whisky, and, no
ticing that the glasses were rather
small, asked: “How long have you
had these glasses, Hen?”
“Hen” replied: “Let’s see; it’s nigh
onto 20 years since I bought those—
when I used to keep tavern over in
Jaffrey.”
“Well,” said Nutting, “they’re rath
er small for their age.”
“Have another glass, Charles; have
another glass,” rejoined “Hen.”
A Debater.
“Is that friend of yours a great de
bater?”
“He Is,” answered Senator Sorghum,
“In the kind of an argument where
money talks.”
HIS PIPE-HITTING ACT.
Feat Which Most Flat Dwellers Per
form at Times.
“It will soon be the season for me
to hit the pipe,” said Dobson as ho
came out pf the theater into the cool
night air, to a New York Press writer.
“You don’t mean dope!” said his
companion in alarm.
“Worse than that. I mean the
steam pipe. The one that runs from
floor to ceiling in the bathrooms ol
the average flat. If my pipe-hitting
specialty could be dramatized I’d
make a fortune, for I am an expert.
The performance generally takes
place in the early morning hours, fol
lowing the bath. At first the act con
sisted merely of leaning against the
superheated conveyor of steam while
I swabbed my Apollo-like form. This
was followed by a quick forward
movement, a howl of pain and a hand
picked assortment of cuss words. But
after a time I began to introduce vari
ations, the most difficult of which was
to step on the soap, slip and grasp at
the pipe to preserve my balance. I
got so that after a few trials I could
catch that pipe equally well with
either hand. That act always appeals
to my wife, and she sheds real tears
as she knocks at the door and asks
me to remember that the children can
hear rne.
“There’s a neat bit of comedj* work
in my bending act. It consists of
backing up within range of the pipe,
then stooping over to pick up the
towel which has fallen to the floor.
The result is that I plunge forward
and swat the wall with my
head. I'm going to paint a tar
get on the wall and keep rec
ord of the bull’s-eyes I make. An
other neat variation of this feat is in
drawing on my trousers and letting
the bare foot shoot through the proper
orifice and land on the pipe. That,
however, is not so difficult as the one
in which my foot gets caught when
half through the trousers leg. I hop
around on the disengaged foot a few
times and usually wind up by clasping
the pipe in a fervent embrace.
“Once my wife tried to spoil my fun
by hanging some pad arrangement in
front of the pipe. That was all right
for a time and the pad was so thick
I could lean against it while dressing
and not feel the heated pipe. Some
one took the pad down one day. I
didn’t know it and leaned as usual.
A few minutes later one of the neigh- I
hors sent out for a policeman.
“Some morning when you want a
little amusement come around my
way. You don’t have to go into the
house. Just stand on the corner and
listen.”
A Lowell Anecdote.
The birthday of James Russell Low
ell, which, you know, conies February
22, the same as Washington's, re
minds us of an anecdote the poet used
to relate. Somewhere up in the White
mountains there is a certain spot
from which one may look at the face
of a cliff and see the features of a
giant man. It is well called “The Old
Man of the Mountains.” When Mr.
Lowell went there for the first time,
he stopped at a saw mill to ask a
workman from what point the “Old
Man” could be seen.
“Dunno,” answered the workman,
“never saw him.”
Mr. Lowell expressed surprise that
the man had never stepped out of his
way to see such a sight which many
people traveled a long way to see.
Presently the workman asked: “Live
in Boston?”
“Yes,” answered Mr. Lowell.
“Good deal to see in Boston?”
“Oh. yes,” was the reply.
“Well, I should like to stand on
Blinker hill,” said the workman.
“You've stood there often, I reckon.”
Mr. Lowell had to confess that he
had not.
“Well, then, you see, mister,” re
marked the countryman, “that what
folks can see almost any day they
don't seem to care about seeing at
all.”—Milwaukee Star.
Many a Slip.
“Hello, Newlywed! When did you
get back from your wedding trip?”
“Yesterday.”
“Have a good time?”
“Yes. fine; only—"
“Only what?”
“O, nothing.”
“Well, of course, if you don't want
to tell me, all right. You know I’ll
not repeat, but—”
“Well, I don't mind telling you, but
don't let it go any farther.”
“Sure, I’ll not.”
“Well, we did have a fine trip, as I
said, although we met with an acci
dent that temporarily marred the
serenity of the journey. But you’ll
not repeat Ihis?”
“Never in a thousand years.”
“Well, you know there are a lot of
short tunnels and snowsheds between
here and Denver. The first one caught
me in the smoking compartment and
we were out of it before I could get
to where my wife was sitting. But I
was on the lookout for the next one
and made a run for her. I arrived just
in time to get one kiss before we shot
out into daylight again.”
“Yes. Go on.”
“That’s about all. It wasn’t my wife
I had kissed.”—Pacific Monthly.
Eased His Conscience.
The doctor had told Farmer Chaw
hay that his hours were numbered.
Then the good old man beckoned the
physician to his side.
“Doctor," he said, “there is some- ,
thin’ I orter tell you afore I go.”
“Certainly,” answered the doctor
sympathetically.
“It’s only this, doctor: I’ve been a
sort of hippercrit for these last 20
years. 'All the women folks has give
me credit for bein’ so true to Sarah
Ann's memory that I never marrit
again, an’ I’ve allowed ’em to think
that was the reason. Truth Is, them
there 15 year I lived with Sarah Ann
gimme all the experience in marrit
life I wanted.”—London Answers.
Wounded Pride.
“Did you have a good time in
Europe?”
“Not very,” answered Mr. Cumrox.
“You see, it kind of nettled mother
and the girls to see me of so little con
sequence that I could go abroad with
out being suspected of nursing a
presidential boom or dodging an in- J
vestigation.”—Washington Star. I
[matrimonial jars
But Quickly Found Separation
Was Inconvenient, So
Patched Up
i
There had quarreled—and parted
vowing to meet no more. She hac
packed up her trunk and her dog and
all the bric-a-brac and toe sofa pillows
—and gone, not home to mother, but
back to her girlhood boarding house
He had put on his hat and hurried out
to meet the boys. The flat looked
as though a whirlwind had struck it _
As she rose wearily the next morn
ing after a sleepless night, she came
gradually to the full realization that
she was a grass widow. Ah. that
was a relief! Xo more quarrels, no
more weary nights of waiting for him
to come home from the club. Xo more
—oh, well, she guessed she could earn
her own spending money. She was
free—free to do as she pleased. With
that thought she started to dress
She pulled on her stockings and shoes
A glance at the latter convinced her
that she had been neglecting herself.
The toes were almost gray for want
of polish.
She pulled things out of her valise
and the top of her trunk in a rapid
search for shoe polish, when it sud
denly occurred to her that she hadn't
:a drop of it. She never had had any.
in fact. She always used Tom's.
Then she took out a nice clean shirt
waist and a smart stiff collar. She
had struggled into the shirtwaist and
buttoned it down the front, when she
discovered, to her great dismay, that
:She hadn't such a thing as a collar
'button. She searched and searched;
but when you’ve been in the habit of
depending on a man for collar buttons
for two years you get, out of (be habit
of carrying them around with you
Impatiently she jerked the stiff shirt
waist off and looked for something
else. She thought for a moment that
she would put on her Peter Pan suit,
'but with a Peter Pan you have t<>
wear a smart four-in-hand tie. and she
had always used Tom's four-in-hands.
O, very well! She pulled out a
dainty muslin waist with an attached
collar and slipped her arms into it.
Alas! it buttoned up the hack. She
struggled until she had fastened the
two top buttons and then twisted
round till her muscles ached to hitch
the lower buttons. When she had
worked herself into a dripping per
spiration and nearly sprained her
right wrist, there still remained two
unfastened buttons at the acute angle
of her back. They were the two Tom
had always buttoned. She finished
dressing with a horrible consciousness
of her openwork back at.d wondered
what, time it was. Alas! she had for
gotten to take the family clock. O.
if Tom were only there with his
watch. She’d write to Tom and ask
him to send the clock. After 15 min
utes’ search she found the stub of a
pencil somewhere at the bottom of
her ribbon box. The pencil had no
point. Vaguely she looked about.
She knew there was something she
wanted. It was Tom's razor—-to sharp
en that pencil!
MEANTIME.
He turned over in bed the morning
after the flight of his wife with a fee!
ing of relief. No more nagging, no
more questions when he staid out late.
Gee! He was going to have the time
of his life.
He started to pull on his boots,
but found his feet were warm and the
backs of the oxford ties stuck to hi a
heels. He got up to look for a shoe
horn, but he could not find ofle. Then
it suddenly occurred to him that his
wife had taken her sliver shoehorn
with her. He got into the shoes as
best he could and began to shave.
When he finished he reached mechani
cally down in to a side drawer for the
talcum powder and the powder puff.
They were gone!
He went out into the kitchen and
cut a piece of bread ready for toast
ing. The knife slipped and shaved a
bit of flesh from his finger. When he
had stopped the bleeding he went
back into the dressing-room to look
for some court plaster. Alas! that,
too. had gone with the powder puff
and the shoehorn, and the wife. He
hunted high and low for some cold
cream and a cotton rag with which
to tie up his wounds, but she had
taken the cold cream with tier, and he
didn't know where she kept the rags.
When he had finished a cold and
lonely breakfast, he put on his coat
and took his hat, prepared to start
ifor town. Just then he noticed that
ia button was hanging to one thread
to his coat. After he had looked the
■house over from garret to cellar for
a needle and a piece of thread, he de
cided that he would rather cut the
button off. This was a good idea, but
it took him five minutes more to dis
cover that his wife's scissors were
lost to him forever, and to find his
jackknife and amputate the button.
Just as he was starting out of the
house a boy handed him a sjtecial de
livery letter. It was written with an
evidently pointless pencil and he had
some difficulty in making oat its
scribbled words. They were:
“Dear Tom—I’m sorry to trouble
you, but please send me the clock and
your razor and the shoe polish and a
collar button—and I'm sorry I said
all those hateful things.''
He wondered why his heart seemed
to grow suddenly so much lighter. -
but he went inside and wrote this
answer as quickly as he could:
“Dear Girl—Come back home and
bring your powder puff and the scis
sors and the needles; have anything
you want.”—N. V. Press.
French Wealth.
The population of France is about
40.000,000; the wealth of France is
nearly $45,000,000. Robert F. Skinner,
in some recent statistics, shows how
evenly this wealth is distributed. The
number of estates administered In
1904 was 394,787, and of these one-half
were for values ranging from less
than $10,000 to a little under $100,000.
Only three were $10,000,000.
A Freak.
Botany may not recognize it. but
it is nevertheless a fact that orange
blossoms have been known to sprotv
from widows' weeds—Evening Wis
consin.
