THE INVENTIONS OE HAWKINS
gya EDGAR. .FRAN KLIN
THE HYDRO-VAPOR LIFT.
1 may have mentioned that it was
%mitomary for Hawkins and myself to
travel down town together on the ele
vated six days in the week.
So far as tbet goes, we still do so;
for it has come over me recently that
any attempt to dodge the demoniac
Inventions of Hawkins is about as
thankless and hopeless a task as seek
ing to avoid the setting of the sun.
For two or three mornings, how
ever, 1 had been leaving the house
■ome 10 or 15 minutes earlier than
usual.
Thete had lately appeared the old,un
canny light in Hawklna’ eye; and if
trouble were lmpending.it was my fond,
foolish hope vc he out of Its way—until
such a time, at least, as the police or
the coroner should call me up on the
telephone to identify all that was mor
tal of Hawkins.
Three days, then, my strategy had
been crowned with success. I had
eludsd Hawkins and ridden down
alone, the serene enjoyment of my pa
per unpunctuated by dissertations
upon the practicability of condensing
the clouds for commercial purposes, or
the utilization of atmospheric nitro
gen in the manufacture of predigested
breakfast food.
But upon the fourth morning a fuse
blew out under the car before we left
the station; and as I sat there fussing
about the delay, in walked Hawkins.
i He was beaming and cheerful, but
the glitter in his eye had grown more
intense.
“Ah, Griggs,” he exclaimed, “I’ve
missed you lately!”
“I hope you haven’t lost weight over
It?”
wen, no. rve Deen Dusy—very
busy.”
"Rush of business?”
"Um—ah—yes. Griggs!”
It was coming.
Hawkins stared hard at me for a mo- i
ment; then i gave him another push, j
“Hawkins," I said, hurriedly, “have
you followed this matter of the Pan
ama canal?”
and ho toppled into the canal and
wallowed about in its waters until the
ride was over.
Unhappily, my own place of business j
is located farther down upon the same ;
street with the Blank building, where
Hawkins has—or had—offices. There !
■was no way of avoiding it—I was
forced to walk with him.
But the suppressed enthusiasm in
Hawkins didn’t come out, and I felt !
rather more easy. Whatever it was, I
fanci.i.i that he had left the material |
part of it at home, and home lay
many blocks up town. I was safe.
"Good-by." I smiled when we reached
his entrance.
“Not much,” Hawkins responded, j
“Come in."
"But, my dear fellow—”
"You come,” commanded the in-!
ventor. “There’s something in here
I want you to see.”
He led me in and past the line of
5 elevators.
So v e were not going up to his of
fices! We seemed to be heading for !
the cigar booth, and for a moment I j
fancied that Hawkins had discovered '
a new brand and was going to treat !
we; but he piloted me farther, to a !
door, and opened it and we passed !
through.
Then I perceived where we were.
The It lank building people had been
constructing an addition to their im- j
mense stock of offices; we stood in the
freshly completed and wholly unoccu- !
pied annex.
“There, sir!” said Hawkins, extend-j
ing his forefinger. “What do you see,
Gt iggs?’
"Six empty barrels, about three wag
on-loads of kindling wood, a new tiled
floor, and six brand-new elevators,” I j
replisd.
"Oh, hang those things! Look— *
where Im pointing!”
“Ah! somebody’s left a packing-box
in one of the elevator-shafts, eh?”
Certainly, more than anything else,
that was what it resembled.
“At the first glance it appeared to
be nothing more than a crude wooden
case about the size of an elevator car,
standing in cne of the shafts and con
trasting unpleasantly with the other
new, shining polished cars.
“Packing—ugh!” snapped the invent
or. “Do you know what that is?”
“You turned down my first guess,” I
suggested, humbly.
“Griggs, what appears to you as a
packing-case is nothing more nor less
than the first and only Hawkins Hy
Jdro-Vapor Lift!”
“The which?”
“The — Hawkins — Hydro — Vapor
—Lift!”
“Hydro-Vapor?” I murmured. “What
ever is that? Steam?”
“Certainly.”
“And lift, I presume, is English for
elevator?”
"The words are synonymous," said
Hawkins, coldly.
“Then why the dickens didn’t you
call it a steam elevator and be done
with it? Wasn't that sufficiently com
plicated ?”
“Oh, Griggs, you never seem able to
understand! Now, a steam elevator—
so ca:!cd—is an old proposition. A
Hydro-Vapor Lift is entirely new and
sounds distinctive!”
“Yes, it sounds queer enough,” I ad
mitted.
“Just examine it,” said the inventor,
joyous'y, leading me to the box.
_aA-ja_11a .. a*-- ,
There was not much to be examined.
Four walls, a ceiling and a floor—all of
undressed wood—that was about the ex
tent of the affair; but In the center of
the floor lay a circular iron plate,
some two feet across and festooned
near the edge with a circle of highly
unornamental iron bolt heads.
Beside the plate, a lever rising per
pendicularly from the floor constituted
the nde furnishing of the car.
"Now, you’ve seen a hydraulic ele
vator?” Hawkins began. “You know
how they work—a big steel shaft
pushed up the car from underneath, so
that when it is in operation the car
is simp!y a fox standing on the end
•of-e tele, which rises-or sinks, as the
operator wills.”
"I believe so.” I assented. “I think
it’s time now for me to go—”
“That principle is fallacious!” the
inventor exclaimed. “Consider what
it would mean here—a steel shaft 16
Btorles high, weighing tons and tons!”
"Well?”
“Well, sir, 1 have reversed that idi
otic idea!” Hawkins announced, tri
umphantly. “I have had a hole dug
16 stories deep, and put the steel shaft
down into it.”
It was about what one might have
expected from Hawkins; but despite
my ung acquaintance with his bizarre
mental machinery. I stood and gasped
in sheer amazement.
"Now, then,” pursued the inventor.
“I have had a steel tube made, a. little
longer than the shaft, you under
stand.'
“What! Even longer than 16 sto
ries?”
"Of course. The tube fits the shaft
exactly, just as an engine cylinder fits
the plunger. The elevator stands upon
the upper end of the tube. We let
steam into the tube by operating this
I
I lever, which controls my patent, re-'
versible steam-release. What happens? j
why, the tube Is forced upward and
the elevator rises. I let out some of i
the steam—and the tube sinks down
into the ground! That iron plate
which you see is the manhole cover of
the tube, as it were—it corresponds,}
of course, to -Jie cylinder-head of an i
engine.”
"And the people who own this
place—did they allow you to do it, or
have you been chloroforming the
watchman anci working at night?” I
inquired.
“Don’t be absurd, Griggs,” said
Hawkins. "1 pay a big rent here. The
owners were very nice about it”
They must have been—exceedingly
so, I thought; nice to the point of im
becility. Had they known Hawkins as
I know him, they would joyfully have
handed him hick his lease, given him
a substitute cash bonus to boot, and
even have thrown in a non-t:*ansfer
able Cook’s tour ticket to Tiinbuctoo
before they allowed him to emaark on
the project.
"Weli,” Hawkins said, sharply,
breaking in upon my reverie. “Don’t
stand there mooning. Did you ever
see anything like it before?”
“Once, when 1 was a child, ’ I con
fessed, “I fell while climbing a flag
pole. and that night I dreamed—”
“Bah! Come along and watch her
work.”
“No!” I protested. “Oh, no!”
“Good Lord, why not?” crle< Hawk- ]
ins. *
“My wife,” 1 murmured. “She can- i
not spare me, Hawkins, you know— I
.not yet.”
- m ■ . ■
“Hug the Wall'"
' superbly gentle motion with which she
1 rises,” he instructed me.
I prepared for that familiar head
! going - up - and - the - rest - of - you
staying - below sensation and gritted
my teeth.
Hawkins pulled at the lever. The
Hydro-Vapor Lift quivered for an in
stant. Then it ascended the shaft—
and very gently and pieasantly.
“There! I suppose you’ve trembled
until your collar-buttons have worked
loose?” Hawkins said, 'contemptuous
ly, turning on me.
“Not quite that,” I murmured.
“Well, you may as well stop. In a
moment or two we shall have reached
the top floor; and there, if you like,
you can get out and climb down 16
flights of stairs.”
“Thank you,” I said, sincerely.
“This, of course, is only the slow
speed,” Hawkins continued. “We can
increase it with the merest touch.
Watch.”
“Wait! I like it better slow!” I pro
tested.
“Oh, I’ll slacken down again in a
moment.”
Hawkins gave a mighty push to the
controlling apparatus. A charge of
dynamite seemed to have been ex
ploded beneath the Hydro-Vapor Lift!
“Were going too fast!” I cried.
Up we shot! I watched the freshly
painted numbers between floors as they
! whizzed by us with shuddering appre
hension: 9—10—11—12—
Hawkins, I think, was about to
' laugh derisively. His head had turned
| to me, and his lips had curled slightly
I —when the Hydro-Vapor Lift stopped
j with such tremendous suddenness that
•** ** •• **
dent smile. The Hydro-Vapor Lift
did not budge the fraction of an inch.
Then he pushed it back—and for
ward again. And still the inexorable
13 stood before us.
"Confound that — er — engineer!”
growled tne Inventor.
Just then the Hydro-Vapor Lift in
dulged in a series of convulsive shud
ders. It was too much for my nerves.
I felt certain that in another sec
ond we were to drop, and I shouted
lustily:
“Help! Help! Help!”
“Shut up!” cried Hawkins. “Do you
want to get the workmen here and
have them see that something’s
wrong?”
I affirmed that intention with un
printable force.
"Well, I don’t!” said the inventor.
Why, Griggs, I’m figuring on equip
ping this building with my lift in a
couple of months!”
“Are—are they going to allow that?”
I gas pea.
"Why, nothing’s settled as yet; but
it is understood that If this experi
mental model proves a success—”
But my cry had summoned aid.
Above us, and hidden by the roof of
the car, some one shouted:
"Hallo! Phat is it?”
“Hallo!” I returned.
“Air ye in the box?” said the voice,
its owner evidently astonished.
"Yes! Get an ax!”
“Phat?”
"An ax!” I repeated. “Get an ax
and chop out the roof of this beastly
thing, so that we can climb out, and—”
Hawkins clapped a hand over my
mouth, and his scowl was sinister.
-« -■-m-■
“Why, there isn't the slightest ele
ment ol danger,” the inventor argued.
“Surely, Griggs, even you must be able
to grasp that. Gan’t you see that that
is the chief beauty of the Hydro-Vapor
Lift? There are no cables to break!
Thai’s the great feature. This car may
be loaded with ton after ton; but If
she’s overloaded, she simply stops.
There are no risky wire ropes to snap
and let down the whole affair.”
"I know that, but there are no wire
ropes to hold her up, either, and—”
Hawkins snorted angrily. Then he
grabbed me bodily and forced me along
toward the door of his Hydro-Vapor
Lift.
“Actually, you do make me tired,”
he said. "You seem to think that every
body is conspiring to take your wretch
ed little life!”
“But what have you against me?”
I asked, mournfully. “Why not let
me out and do your experimenting
alone?”
“Because—Lord knows why I'm
doing it, you're not important enough
to warrant it—I’m bound to convince
you that thi£ contrivance is all that I
claim!”
Oh, had I tut spent the days of my
youth ir a strenuous gymnasium! Had
I but been endowed with muscles be
yond the dreams of Eugene Sandow,
and been expert in boxing and wrest
ling, and in the breaking of bones, as
the Japanese!
Then 1 could have fallen upon
Hawkins from the rear and tied him
into knots and even dismembered him
if necessary—and escaped.
But things are what they are, and
Hawkins is more than a match for me;
so ne banged the door angrily and
grasped the lever.
"Now, observe with gi-eat care the
we almost flew up against the root of
the car.
Tbat was the law of inertia at work.
Then we descended to the floor with
a crash that seemed calculated to
loosei it. That was the law of gravi
tation.
I presume that Hawkins figured with
out them.
1 was the first to sit up. For a time
my heed revolved too rapidly for any
thing like coherent perception. Then,
as the stars began to fade away, I saw
that we were stuck fast between floors;
and before my eyes—large and pr' -n
inent in the newness of Its paint—
loomed up the number 13.
It looked ominous.
"We—we seem to have stopped,” I
said.
“Yes,” snapped Hawkins.
“What was it? Do you suppose any
thing was sticking out into the shaft?
Has—can it be possible that there is
anything like a mechanical error in
your Hydro-Vapor Lift?”
“No! It’s that blamed-fool of an en
gineer!”
“What!” i exclaimed. “Do you
blame him?”
"Certainly."
"But bow was it his fault?”
"Oh—you see—bah!” said the in
ventor, turning rather red. “You
wouldn’t understand if I were to ex
plain the whole thing, Griggs.”
"But I should like to know, Hawk
ins.”
"Why?”
"I want to write a little account of
the why and the wherefore, so that
they can find it in ease—anything hap
pens to us.”
Hawkins turned away loftily.
“We’ll have to get out of this,” he
said.
He pulled at his lever with a confl
THEY MAKE SILK FROM GUNCOTTON
Science threatens to put the silk
worm out of business, says the Tech
nical World. French chemists have
discovered at least three distinct
methods of competing with the old
( reliable but extremely deliberate silk
' worm.
Perhaps the most interesting of
these Is the manufacture of silk from
guncotton, which also serves as a
base for the most powerful of modern
explosives
The viscous fluid from wtiicn tne
silkworm spins his thread is chemic
ally duplicated by a new process.
The fabric thus produced ia inflamma
ble, and in order to remedy this de
fect it is treated with an alkali so
lution.
The founders of the new industry
have kept in view not so much the
exact reproduction of natural silk as
the production of a substance which
embraces its valuable properties.
natural siik possesses to a large de
gree qualities of brilliancy, elasticity,
strength, affinity for coloring and
bleaching materials, and when han
dled a peculiar rustling sound, known
as scroop. Perhaps the brilliancy and
scroop of silk are the best known
of Its qualities, and it is in these two
respects that artificial silk most close
ly resembles natural, its brilliancy
being groatqr and its scroop slightly
less.
w -—■■■■■ —■ ww ■■ ww ■■ vr •• w
HE HAD DISPOSED OF THE SPECIMEN
The following amusing little story,
comes from a home missionary who
is laboring in North Carolina:
In her school, she says, the little
children have a nature study class.
One day the teacher sent the class
out to gather specimens for examina
tion.
When they were called in some had
blossoms, colored leaves, twigs, etc.,
but one little Are-year-old carried a
lire minnow which he had caught in
the stream that runs by the house.
This was noticed by the teacher,
and, as she thought it the most in
teresting subject for discussion, she
left it for the last. The leaves, flow
ers, etc., were talked about, and final
ly she said: “Well, Cnrtis, what have
yon got for our lesson to-day?”
“Nothing.”
“Did you not bring in something?”
iiy^g tv
“What is itr
“A fish.”
“Well, let me see it.”
"I ain’t got it”
“Where is it, Curtis?” To which
he answered, very slowly:
“1 ate it, ma’am!”
Her Manners.
“Miss Stronghead insists that she
thinks like a man.”
“But that isn’t the worst of it; she
acts like one.”—Detroit Free Press.
FOR THE BREAKFAST TABLE. J
“Fopovers" Had Origin in Brain oti
Chinese Cook.
This recipe for popovers came from
California, from Sam, a “China boy"
cook, who always called this delicious
breakfast bread “Jim Pops.” He used
to bake them in stoneware cups, but
bot. buttered gem pans will answer,
tor one dozen “Jim Pops” allow four
eggs, one cup pastry flour, half a tea
spoonful salt and a pint rich mllk.
Beat whites of the eggs to a stiff froth
with a wire cake whip, and set aside.
Beat the yolks with a Dover beatei
and add to them the milk. Sift to
gether a liberal pint of flour and a
half teaspoonful salt and beat the
milk gradually into it, still using the
Dover beater. When the flour, milk
and egg from a stiff batter without
lumps, take out the beater and grad
ually fold in the stiffly beaten whites
Do not stir once with a circular mo
tion after adding the whites, but in
corporate them in the mixture by
folding so as not to break down the
air cells in the beaten eggs. Have
the cups well greased, pour in the
batter and bake three-quarters of an
hour, in a moderately hot oven, until
the puffs are well popped and delicate
ly browned.
TO CLEAN LACE CURTAINS.
Proper Drying the Most Difficult Part
of the Operation.
First shake the curtains free from
dust and then wash them in warm
suds, squeeze gently so as not to
break the meshes in the lace and
wave up and down. Do not rub them
either with the hands or on a board
Boil, rinse, blue or yellow with coffe
if they are ecru, starch lightly before
the net begins to dry, then put in the
air (sunshine if convenient) and dry
as quickly as is possible. Drying is
the most difficult part of the cleans
ing, for each scallop in the curtain
should be pulled into shape and
pinned either to a regular curtain
frame or on a sheet, put on the floor;
for unless the corners and edges are
all stretched taut, the curtains may
dry in creases and wrinkles that are
undesirable.
Dry cleaning is done with some
cleansing fluid, such as benzine or
gasoline, that can be bought in any
paint shop or drug store.
CHICKEN A LA KING.
Favorite Dish Among the Epicures of
New York.
A favorite tfish served in one of the
popular hotels of New York is chick
en a la king. The recipe is as fol
lows: Cut into small pieces the*
white meat of a cold roast chicken.
Make a sauce with two tablespoon
fuls of butter in a saucepan over the
fire. When the butter melts stir in
two heaping tablespoonfuls of flour,
which has been well sifted. When
the flour and butter are mixed to a
cream pour in slowly a pint of hot
milk, stirring constantly to keep from
lumping. Allow the same to boil up
once; then add a tablespoonful of
grated onion, a saltspoonful of salt,
and the yolks of two eggs. Stir them
briskly through the sauce; add twoi
truffles and two mushrooms cut in
small pieces and fried in butter, one
sweet green pepper cut in shreds aft
er seeds have been removed, and a
generous tablespoonful of capers
chopped, and just a suggestion of
grated nutmeg. Last of all, add the
chicken; stir all together, and allow
it to cook a minute. Chicken a la
king is usually served in a chafing
dish.
A Little Clothespin Lore.
Clothespins that have been boiled
for ten or fifteen minutes will out
last those that have not been sub
jected to this process. After using,
clothespins should not be left exposed
to the air and dust, but put away
clean and dry. Many careless maids
have a senseless practice of tossing
them on the ground when taking down
the clothes. To avoid this, make her
a clothespin bed-ticking apron, with
a large pocket across the bottom. Be
fore going out to hang or take in the
clothes, tie this about the waist, hav
ing the pocket filled with pins when
going out, and instruct her to put the
pins directly in when taking down
the clothes. In cold weather aching
fingers can be prevented by heating
the pins in the oven just before going
out to hang the clothes.
Danger in Old Medicines.
It is a wise thing to throw out old
medicine. Keeping it is rash econ
omy, as many drugs lose their
strength while others deteriorate and
become dangerous to take. Then the
same physical conditions do not often
occur, and it is always safer to get a
new prescription, or at least have the
old one freshly put up. Besides, if old
bottles accumulate, one is apt to for
get what they contain, and in an emer
gency seize on the wrong one, with
serious results.
German Sandwiches.
These are made from a combination
of rye bread and pumpernickel well
buttered, and between them chopped
beef, cheese or chicken, covered with
chopped pickle. A layer of bologna
sausage is sometimes substituted for
the other meats.
Here’s a Dish in Season.
Panned oysters on toasted crackers
are tasty. Cook the oysters until
they plump in a tablespoonful of but
ter, two saltspoonfuls of salt, a dash
of paprika and a little common pep
per. Then turn them over the crack*
ers.
Evil of Too Much Reading.
A bookish man, says Dr. William
Osier, may never succeed. Defep
versed in books, he may not be able
to use his knowledge to practical ef
fect; or, more likely, his failure is
not because he has read too much,
but observed too little.
Amateur Milkmaid.
“O, James!” exclaimed Mrs. Slttie.
“do let’s move to Che country and keep
cows, so we can have nice fresh beet
tea every morning!” — Cleveland
leader.
"Haven't you a grain of sense left?”
be hissed.
"Yes, of course I have. That’s why
I want an ax to—”
“Te!l that crazy engineer I want
more steam!” bawled Hawkins, drown
ing my voice.
"More steam?” said the person
above. "More steam an’ an ax, is
it?”
“No—no ax. Tell him I want more
steam, and I want it quick! He’s got
so little pressure that we're stuck!”
We heard the echo of departing foot
steps.
“Now, you’d have made a nice mud
dle, wouldn’t your’ snarled the invent
or. “We’d have made a nice sight
clambering out through a hole in the
top of this car!”
“There are times,” 1 said, “when ap
pearances don’t count for much.”
“Well, this isn’t one of them,” re
joined the inventor, sourly.
I did not reply. There was nothing
that occurred to me that wouldn’t have
offended Hawkins, so l kept silence.
We stood there for a period of min
utes, hut the Hydro-Vapor Lift seemed
disinclined to move either up or
down.
Once or twice Hawkins gave a push
at his lever; but that part of the appa
ratus seemed permanently to have re
tired from active business.
“Shall we move Boon?” I inquired,
when the stillness became oppressive.
“Presently," growled Hawkins.
Another long pause, and I hazard
ed again:
“Isn’t it growing warm?”
I non t reel It .
"Weli, It is! Ah! The heat is com
ing from that plate!” I exclaimed, as
it dawned upon me that the big iron
thing was radiating warm wares
through the stufTy little car. “Your
Hydro-Vapor Lift will be pleasant to
ride in when the thermometer runs up
in August, won’t It?”
Hawkins did not deign to reply, and
I fell to examining the plate.
“Look,’’ I said, “isn't that steam?”
“Isn’t what steam?”
“Down there,” I replied, pointing to
the plate. _
A fine jet of vapor was curling from
one point at its edge—a thin spout of
hot steam!
“That’s rothing, said Hawkins.
“Little leak—nothing more.”
"But there's another now!”
“Positively, Griggs, I think you have
the most active imagination I ever
knew in an otherwise—”
“Use your eyes,” I said, uneasily.
“There s another—and still another!’
Hawkins bent over the plate — as
much to hide the concern which ap
peared upon his face as for any other
reason, I think.
“Weli,’’ he said, “she's leaking a
trifle.”
"But why?”
“The plate isn’t steam-tight, of
course; and the engineer’s sending us
more pressure.”
His composure had returned by thft
time, and ne regarded me with such
contemptible eyes that I could find no ■
answer.
But Hawkins’ contempt couldn't shut
off the steam. It blew out harder and
harder trom the leaky spots. The little
car began to fill, and the temperature
rose steadily.
from a comfortable warmth it in
creased to an uncomfortable warmth;
then to a positively intolerable, reek
ing wet heat.
I removed my coat, and a little later
my vest. Hawkins did likewise. We
both found some difficulty in breath
ing.
The steam grew thicker, the car hot- j
ter and hotter. Perspiration was ooz- f
ing from every pore in my body. Spark
ling little rivulets coursed down Hawk- :
ins’ countenance.
“Hawkins,” I said, “if you’d "ailed
this thing the Hydro-Vapor Bath, in- !
stead of Lift—”
“Don't be witty,” Hawkins said,
coldly.
"Never mind. It may be a bit un
reliable as an elevator, but you can
let it out for steam-baths—50 cents a
ticket, you know, until you’ve made up t
whatever the thing cost.”
Bzzzzzzzzzz! said the steam.
''I’m going to shout for that ax
again,” I said, determinedly. “Ten
minutes more of this and we’ll be
cooked alive!”
“Now—” began the inventor.
“Hawkins,” I decline to be convert
ed into stew simply to save your van
ity. He—”
“Hey!” shouted Hawkins, dancing
away from his lever into a corner of
the car and regarding the iron plate |
with round eyes.
“What is it, now?” I asked breath- |
lessly.
A queer roaring noise was coming
from somewhere. The Hydro-Vapor '
affair executed a series of blood-curd
ling shakes. From the edges of the
plate the steam hissed spitefully and
with a new vigor.
“That—that jackass of an engineer!”
Frenchman Took No Chances
MH! JmmiSim 1 ife 13.11 neSSm
The Frenchman's proverbial fore
sight in time of emergency was well
illustrated in Paris when the impend
ing May day strike made many timid
souls fear the return of the commune
and the fall of the republic.
The bakeries, groceries, fish and
butcher shops were all sold out by the
evening of April 30, and many a Paris
ian household could have stood a siege
of weeks before capitulating to the
enemy.
One citizen in particular was desir
ous of having what army men would
call a self-contained apartment.
Hence he not only laid in a great stock
of provisions, but for fear lest the
city waterworks should be dynamited,
filled his bathtub with drinking water.
Even that did not satisfy him. Gaz
laaai «I|jsi M afksn M s
ing at the bathtub, it occurred to him
that the water could be made to do a
double service. So off he dashed to
the fish market, whence he returned
in triumph with a dozen live fish to
inhabit the tub.
History does not relate how many
hours he amused himself by fishing in
the bathtub on the fateless May 1;
but, plainly, the French army lost a
good commissary general when this
man chose to remain a civilian.—N. Y.
Evening Po3t.
Not Inviting.
Vegetarian—You want to go back
to nature.
Prodigal—Yes; but the trouble it
that she doesn’t kill the fatted calf.
—N. Y. Sun.
si — sllawsesl
Hawkins sputtered. “He’s sending too
much steam!”
For a moment I didn’t quite catch
the significance; then I faltered vim
sudden weakness;
“Hawkins, you said that this plate
corresponded to the cylinder-head of
an engine? Then the tube beneath ua
is full of steam?”
"Yes, yes.”
"And if we get too much steam—aa
we seem to be getting it—will the plate
blow off?"
“Yes—no—yes—no, of course not,”
answered Hawkins, faintly. “It’s bolt
ed down with—”
“But if it should,’’ I said, dashing the
steaming perspiration from my eyes
for another look at the accursed plate.
"If it should,” the Inventor admit
ted, "we'd either go up to Heaven on
it, or we’d stay here and drop!”
“Help!” I screamed.
“Look out! Look out! Hug the
wall!” Hawkins shrieked.
A mighty spasm shook the Hydro
Vapor Lift. I fell flat and rolled in
stinctively to one side. Then, ere my
bewildered senses could grasp what
was occurring my ears were split by a
terrific roar.
The roof of the ear disappeared as
If by magic, and through the opening
shot that huge, round plate of Iron,
seemingly wafted upon a cloud of
dense white vapor. Then the steam
obscured all else, and I felt that we
were falling.
Yes, for an instant the car seemed to
shudder uncertainly — then she drop
ped!
I can hardly say more of our de
scent from the fatal thirteenth story.
In one second—not more, I am cer
tain—12 spots of light, representing 12
floors, whizzed past us.
I recall a very definite impression
that the Blank building was making
an outrageous trip straight upward
from New York; and I wondered how
the occupants were going to return
and whether they would sue the build
ing oeople for detention from business.
But. just as I was debating this in
teresting point, earthly concerns
seemed to cease.
In the cellar of the Blank building
annex a pile of excelsior and bagging
and ether refuse packing materials
protruded into the shaft where once
had been the Hawkins Hydro-Vapor
Lift. That fact, I suppose, saved us
from eternal smash.
At any rate, 1 realized after a time
that my life had been spared, and
sat up on the cement flooring of the
cellar.
Hawkins waa standing by a steel
pillar smiling blankly. Steam, by the
cubic mile, I think, was pouring from
the flooring of the Hydro-Vapor Lift
and whirling up the shaft.
I struggled to my feet and tried to
walk—and succeeded, very much to my
own astonishment. Shaken and bruised
and half dead from the shock I cer
tainly was, hut I could still travel.
I picked up my coat and turned to
Hawkins.
"I—I think I’ll go home,” he said,
weakly. “I’m not well, Griggs.”
We ascended the winding stair and
passed through a door at the top, and
instead of reaching the annex we
stepped into the lower hall of the
Blank building itself.
The place was full of steam. Peo
ple were tearing around and yelling
“Fire!” at the top of their lungs.
Women were screaming. Clerks were
racing back and forth with big books.
Older men appeared here and there,
hurriedly making their exit with cash
boxes and bundles of documents. There
was sd exodus to jig-time going on
in the Blank building.
Above it all. a certain man. his face
convulsed with anger, shouted at the
crowd that there was no danger—no
fire. Hawkins shrank as his eyes fell
upon this personage.
“Lord: That’s one of the owners!”
he said. “I'm going!”
We. too, made fof the door, and
had almost attained it when a heavy
hand fell upon the shoulder of Haw
kins.
“You're the man I’m looking for!”
said the hard, angry tones of the pro
prietor. “You come back with me!
D’ye know what you’ve done? Hey?
D’ye know that you’ve ruined that ele
vator shaft? D’ye know that a thou
sand-pound casting dropped on our
roof and smashed it and wrecked two
offices? Oh. you won’t slip out lika
that.” He tightened his grip on Hawk
ins’ shoulder. “You’ve got a little set
tling to do with me, Mr. Hawkins.
And I want that man who was with
you, too, for—”
That meant me! A sudden swirl of
steam enveloped my person. When it
had lilted, I was invisible.
For my only course had seemed to
fold my tents like the Arabs, and as
silently steal away; only I am cer
tain that no Arab ever did it with
greater expedition and less ostenta
tion than I used on that particular oc
casion.
(Copyright. 1906, by W. G. Chapman.)
iOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOO*