Of
A New Future for
Three Great Water Highwaus
Coming Meeting of Rivermen at St Louis in November to Be
Marked bu Exploitation of Great Project.
Years ago before the great iron
trails were stretched across the coun
try and the swift, fiery steads were
passing over them drawing their loads
of human freight and merchandise,
the rivers of the land, especially the
Mississippi and the Ohio, were the
bu;y highways- of commerce. But as
the railway systems developed the
river business declined, steamers that
had plowed their way back and forth
between the thriving river towns
ceased to run, and wharves fell into
decay—for the railroad was too strong
a rival, and soon monopolized the
commerce of the country.
But of late years there has been a
revival in the direction of the water
highways, and a determined effort
towards utilizing the splendid facili
ties of trade which they afford. New
York has by direct vote of the people
appropriated $101,000,000 to build a
ship canal from Lake Erie to the Hud
son, so that a cargo loaded in Chicago
or Duluth may sail direct to Ham
burg, Havre, or Liverpool. The city
of Manchester, England, has spent
$100,000,000 to get an outlet to the sea.
Germany, Trance and England are ex
pending even larger sums in the con
struction of absolutely new cross
country waterways. The Sault Ste.
Marie canal has already paid for it
self in the immense volume of trade
that rushes through its locks. And
all this shows the tendency towards
water communication.
Movements are on foot both along
the Ohio and the Mississippi river, as
well as along the Missouri, for the im
sponded one citizen, “It will be done
at once.”
On that declaration the association
was virtually organized.
Preparatory to the reassembling of
this great waterways’ congress, which
held a session in Washington last
winter, with 600 river representatives
present, a few freshly compiled facts
and figures concerning the interests
at stake will be found of value.
The centers of population and activ
ity in all lines cf production have
steadily advanced westward, until,
‘ without exception, they are now lo
! cated in the Mississippi valley. One
half of the population of the United
States resides in what may be cor
rectly termed the Mississippi valley.
; This population his more than dou
bled itself every 25 years of the past
century. Should this rate of increase
i be maintained the year 2000 would1
! find the population no less than 560,
1 000,000. The area of the Mississippi
valley, 1,240,000 square miles, all told,
is two-fifths of the whole continental
area of the United States, and more
than two-thirds of its arable surface.
The population has shown a steady in
crease. In 1810 the valley dwellers
numbered but 1,000,000. In 1850 the
number had increased to 8,000,000.
Nor has the supremacy of the Miss
issippi valley been confined alone to
its increase of people. The centers
of corn, cotton, oats and wheat pro
duction, of the number, area and
value of farms, are all within its con
j fines.
j The center of the corn production
Site of One of the Proposed Wing Dams.
provement of those waterways so as
to admit of the use of the larger
Bteamers. The slogan of the Ohio
River Improvement association is
“Dam the Ohio river from Pittsburg
to Cairo,” and there is a similar
Blogan being declared by the Missis
sippi River Improvement association,
which says, “Dam the Mississippi
river from St. Paul to New Orleans.”
And at a meeting of these two asso
ciations at St. Louis during November
the matter is to be energetically ex
ploited.
.The fact that one Mississippi river
tug can convey in six days from St.
Louis to New Orleans boats carrying
10,000 tons of grain, which would re
quire 70 railroad trains of 15 cars
each, shows the possibilities of the
project.
The gathering of rivermen in St.
Louis in November will be the great
est coming together of people inter
ested in America’s interior waterways
in the history of the country. At its
very outset, the Ohio River Improve
ment association set itself resolutely
to the task of educating congress and
the people of the river states to the
vast commercial importance of deep
ening the channel from Pittsburg to
Cairo. Its leaders took the declara
tion of Andrew Carnegie, that “the re
public now has more than 10,000 miles
of connected river and lake naviga
tion, which supplies the cheapest in
land transportation for materials in
the world,” and they added: “The
improvement of the Ohio will make it
still cheaper.”
The Upper Mississippi River Im
provement association was brought
about by an equally patriotic and far
seeing declaration. Four years ago a
committee of representative citizens
called upon the mayor of Quincy, 111.,
urging some local river improvements.
After a protracted interview as to the
value of purely local improvements,
the mayor said: “Do you know of
any attempt having been made on the
part of any congressmen who repre
sent any of the five states bordering
on the upper Mississippi to influence
congress to make an appropriation for
river improvement? Has any effort
been made by the commercial organ
izations, or cities along the river, to
influence congress to this end?”
“No,” was the answer. “But,” re
! of the United States .s in the great
river which divides Missouri and Illi
nois, about midway the length of Mis
souri.
The center of wheat production is
75 miles west of Dec Moines, in the
west central portion of Iowa.
The center of oats production is
about 100 miles east of Des Moines,
in the east central portion of Iowa.
The center of the number of farms
is in Illinois, 110 miles east of St.
Louis.
The center of the farm area of the
country is 48 miles southwest of Jef
ferson City, Mo.
The center of cotton production is
34 miles north, of Jackson, Miss.
The center of manufacturers is 59
miles west of Cleveland, O.
The center of population in 1900
had advanced westward until it stood
six miles southeast of Columbus. Ind.
These are Important factors in what
has been called the "resuscitation of
the Mississippi river.” The produce
and the products are in the valley
waiting to be moved; the people are
in the valley ready to ship and to
travel. All that is needed is the crys
tallizing of the rapidly growing senti
ment into money with which to “dam
the Mississippi river” and revive the
waning glory of the packet and of the
freighter.
With the construction of the Chi
cago-St. Louis canal, freighters loaded
with grain or ore at Duluth could
reach the Gulf of Mexico without
breaking cargo, and begin their trans
| Atlantic voyage there, as they will
from New York, by way of the Erie
canal. *
The completion of the Panama ca
; nal will further revolutionize the traf
: flc problem. By means of the canal
steamers loaded in Duluth, Minneap
i olis, St. Louis, Pittsburg, any port
1 along the great waterways system,
may reach San Francisco, Seattle,
Honolulu, Manila, Yokohama, Hong
! kong, without breaking cargo, at
great saving of time and money. Even
the completion of the Tehuantepec
railroad across the isthmus of Te
huantepec, Mexico, Is not without far
reaching result, as freight can be
transferred across the isthmus, from
: ship hold to ship hold in two days’
; time and at an expense of only about
two dollars a ton.
“Old Ironsides
Tuawmafti
This historic old vessel, once the pride cf the American navy, and
around which so many memories cling, is now being rebuilt by order of
congress, and when completed will be identical.with its former appearance
and equipment.
THE INVENTION OF A BOY
IT MAY REVOLUTIONIZE THE
PRESENT TYPEWRITER.
_
V'-ginia Youth Has Accomplished
That Wich Has Puzzled Mechan
ical Experts for Many
Years.
—
Norfolk, Va.—The problem of an
automatic carriage for the typewriter,
one over which experts have been
laboring and experimenting for years
without success, has probably been
solved by Robert Eugene Turner, a
Norfolk boy, who is yet to reach his
majority. That the invention, if
practicable, is destined to revolution- ;
ize the modern typewriter, is the
opinion of experts, men who have
studied the problem for years.
Years ago it was recognized that
the invention of an automatic car
riage return for the typewriter
would add from 25 to 30 per cent,
to the speed of the operators—an item
that tells in the business world. The
manufacturers of the leading ma
chines put experts on the problem.
No stone was left unturned to solve
the problem of the transference, re
direction and control of power. It
is said that one company offered a
handsome prize to the man in their
employ who would discover the prin
ciple, to be worked out later.
Mr. Turner, who is a member of
the architectural firm of Hebard &
Turner, and who is a lover of mathe
matical problems and technical ques
tions worthy of solution, had his at
tention drawn to the matter. At that
time he was in his teens. He began
to think out the problem, conveying
his ideas to drawings. For three years
he studied it at spare times, day and
night.
The young inventor grasped the dif
ficulties clearly. He finally solved
it, that of regulataing the power at
all times, controlling and reversing
it at will. Briefly stated, the regula
tion and control Qf the power is by
means of the space bar. It is unop
erative automatically until the car
riage has gone a certain length, but
by means of a key it can be ma
nipulated at the will of the opera
tor.
Like all valuable inventions, its
simplicity is the thing that attracts
attention. It can be added to ma
chines at a nominal cost; it will not
affect the durability of the machine,
will not add to the cost of repairs,
and is not easy to get out of order.
Its speed is suffcient for all practical
purposes.
The following statement in refer
ence to the invention was made by
Mr. Turner recently:
“It increases the mechanical con
trol of the carriage, making it un
necessary for the operator to remove
his hands from the keyboard during
waiting, a feature especially valuable
to touch operators.
“The mechanism causes the car
riage to return to the initial writing
point automatically when the end of
a written line is reached, and also
to return automatically from any
point in the line by pressing a special
key. Means for cushioning the im
pact of the carriage to prevent a de
structive jar to the machine is amply
provided for, as well as an improve
ment in the runways and rollers bear
ing the carriage to reduce the fric
tion to a minimum.
“The momentum attained by the
carriage in its return stroke is util
ized to effect the line spacing, which
can also be done from the keyboard.
An ingenious but simple device is
introduced, so that the setting of
either the automatic or manual line
spacer will adjust the other to con
form in the uniform spacing of
lines.”
An interesting feature in reference
to the invention is the youthfulness
of the inventor. When the appli
cation for the patent was filed nearly
two years ago, or in February, of
1905, Mr. Turner was only a little
over 18 years of age. As he began
the study of the problem several
years before this, his youthfulness
can be appreciated. It was a mere
boy who had undertaken to solve a
serious scientific mathematical prob
lem.
Robert Eugene Turner was bom in
Norfolk November 26, 1886. He Is
the son of R. E. Turner, general su
perintendent of the Virginian-Pilot.
After leaving the Norfolk high school
he devoted his time to the study of
mechincal engineering and architec
ture.
Mr. Turner was nearly two years
in securing a patent on his inven
tion, but it was finally obtained
through Walter B. Burrow, patent at
torney at Norfolk. Mr. Turner’s
friends are confident that he has
a small fortune, to say the least, in
his patent.
Superstition Rife.
“Magianism, rosicrucianism, gnos
ticism, occultism, together with Mo
saic and Hermetic mysteries, are
flourishing In this country and
Europe. Packets, locks of hair,
wands, vagaries, fakes and morbid
mental states due to these are on
all sides. How can mental physi
cians keep up with the new brain
diseases? Superstition is now in
tensely alive, and all kinds of mind
distortion, born of prehistoric and
barbaric ages, when men did not
know a single law of nature, are
rife, even in the shadows of univer
sities and colleges.”—Prof. Larkin,
of. Mount Lome Observatory.
Mrs. Langtry Drops the “Lily.”
Mrs. Langtry, who is now playing
in a vaudeville sketch, will not allow
her manager to advertise her as
“Lily” Langtry. Only intimates are
now permitted to call her by that
name.
Zealous, But Absent-Minded.
i11 . - i
tne
m w " —
Imbecile Comic Artist—Would—er—a—you and your Mend mind remain
like that a few moments whilst I make a rough sketch?
A Roaring Lion in Georgia.
Tattnall County Is Haunted by a
Big Yellow Cat.
Savannah, Ga.—The lower section
of Tattnall county is pretty well
scared because a wild lion has been
seen in that vicinity. Mothers are
keeping their children indoors after
dark and posses of determined men
are trying to run down the unwelcome
visitor and put him to death. On
Thursday the lion was seen on Mr.
Brooks Harvey’s place, between Mor
rison and Groveland. Mr. Harvey
could not kill him at that time, as he
did not have his gun. The animal
was seen by -both Mr. and Mrs. Har
vey. It was very large and appeared
quite ferocious. Since then it has
been heard roaring in the vicinity by
several people at night. As far as
can be learned, It haB not carried
awa; any hogs or cattle and the peo
ple are wondering what it lives on.
Two or three searching parties have
| gone out for the beast, but they have
not been successful in capturing him.
About two years ago Mr. David Bea
sley killed a lion near Groveland. He
has it stuffed at his home now. This
one is said to be very much like the
one Mr. Beasley killed and many
think it is possibly his mate. Until
the new arrival is slain there will con
tinue to be excitement.
School Gardens of Austria.
It is stated that nearly 8,000 school
gardens exist in Austria, not including
the sister kingdom of Hungary. They
are connected with both private and
public schools, and are used for pur
poses of practical instruction in hor
ticulture and tree growing, and often
contain botanical museums and bee
hives.
“The doctor says I mustn’t play
whist any more—it makes me irrita
ble.” “That’s foolish. It might as
well be whist as anything else.”—
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
PRESCRIBING
FOR THE DOCTOR
Not a thousand miles from where
Christopher Columbus stands discov
ering Central park five gentlemen of
modest means meet every Sunday
afternoon for a quiet little game of
draw poker. At the last meeting, the
doctor, the senior member of the quin
tet, had tried to make away with a
large pot by standing pat on a hand
that was unfit for publication, and
which was called and beaten by a
pair of jacks held by Wilkins, whom
the doctor deteste-" on account of his
inquisitiveness. The doctor, who was
rather choleric, had left the room in
a rage, vow'ing, as he had on various
other occasions, that he was done
with the game forever, but a week’s
time had smoothed his ruffled feelings
and he was now the picture of good
humor and composure.
What added somewhat to his pres
ent good humor was the fact that he
held in his pudgy fat hands three
nines, before the draw, and all the
players in on a large jackpot.
Wilkins had been pressing the but
ton at regular intervals, and also do
ing the rest, which gave him a very
optimistic view of things in general.
He had stood all raises and with a
jack, king and queen of hearts was
trusting in kind Fortune with a child
like faith that was beautiful to behold
to bestow upon him a straight flush.
It was the doctor’s deal and he
nervously tossed the cards to the sev
eral players as they called for the
number desired. Wilkins, with a
pleasant smile on his face, was lost
in thought and absentmindedly mak
ing rings on the table with the bot
tom of his glass.
"Mr. Wilkins, if you will come out
of your trance and call for your cards
the game will proceed,” said the doc
tor with growing impatience, and cast
ing wolfish eyes at the stacks of blue
and yellow checks in the center of the
tahlp
Wilkins came back to the present
with a start. “Beg pardon, Doc,” he
said, “just tear me two off the roof.
Any two will do.”
The doctor dealt two cards to him,
and holding up a queen as a kicker
to his three nines, dealt one card to
himself. He squeezed his cards tight
ly to see that none of them got away
and slowly skinned them over with
considerable misgivings, as he thought
of several one-card draws against him.
To his great satisfaction he found a
fourth nine.
The opener on his left led off with
a modest bet and the others simply
made good, except Wilkins, who had
brightened up all at once and seemed
to take considerable interest in the
situation.
“If you people play poker with me
you have got to have the goods,” Wil
kins remarked. “Doc, just stack up
alongside of that if you think well of
your hand,” he said , as he dumped a
stack of yellows defiantly in front of
him, and then put a stack of blues on
top of the yellows.
There was a dangerous gleam in the
doctor’s eyes as he fingered the bills
that were under his checks.
“Well, mine are pretty good cards,”
he said, “I’ll just bet you $20 harder,
Mr. Man,” and pushed checks and
money into the pot.
A sigh of distress went up from the
other players as they dropped their
hands reluctantly into the discard.
It was up to Wilkins again. “Doc,” he
said, “I’ve got you beat, but I'll just
call you. I know you’ve been loser in
this game, so I’ll let you down easy.”
The doctor glared fiercely over his
spectacles at his opponent. “Never
you mind about me, you play your
hand. I don’t want any of your sym
pathy.”
Wilkins peeled two tens off his pile
of bills and pushed them into the pot
saying meanwhile, “Now, my elderly
friend, will you kindly let us see what
you are sitting behind?”
“I'm sitting behind four of the big
gest nines in the deck, that’s what!”
snapped the doctor.
“Sorry, Doc,” said Wilkins as he
drained his glass, “but they won’t do;
I have here a royal straight flush of
hearts,” and he counted them down,
one at a time—“Ace, king, queen, jack,
ten.” As he dropped the last card on
the table his face took on a troubled
expression. The card was an eight,
and not a ten of hearts.
The doctor had been rapidly going
into a state of nervous collapse, but
on seeing the last card had recovered
quickly.
i uccu ycaia,
and that's the first ten I ever saw with
only eight spots on it," he said, sar
castically. He drew in the pot and
glanced at his watch. “Great Scott!”
he exclaimed, “I had no idea it was so
late. Here, cash these checks; I
promised my wife I would take her to
church to-night, and I just have time
to get there.”
A protest arose, but all to no effect.
“Never broke a promise to my wife
in my life, and too late to begin now,”
the doctor said, getting into his coat
and moving toward the door
Spencer had taken no part in the
effort to detain the winner, but now
he inquired if the doctor did not live
in Fifty-seventh street, between
Eighth and Ninth avenues.
“I do,” replied the doctor.
“Will you pass Pringle's drug store
on your way home?” he asked.
The doctor said he would. -
“I hate to impose on your good na
ture, Doc,” said Spencer, “but I’ll es
teem it a personal favor if you’ll drop
in there and see if Pringle has any
thing to cure you of those cold feet.”—
N. Y. Press.
Above the Law.
Farmer Green (who has been
knocked down by a balloon anchor)
—Gol dem ’em! I’ll hev th’ law on
’em! Whar’s the sheriff? Farmer
Brown—No use kicking, Josh! Them
critters is above the law, I reckon!—
Houston Post.
Disparity in Strength of Arms.
Among men, 51 per cent, are strong
er in the right arm than in the left
In 33 cases the left arm is the
stronger; in the rest the two arms
are equal.
COLD HID IN GUATAVITA’S
TREASURE THAT LIES DEEP IN
MUD OF VOLCANIC LAKE.
Story of the Efforts to Recover Fab
ulous Riches Which Were Cast
Into the Lake Centuries
. Ago.
The story of the hunt which the
Contractors’ Company, Limited, of
London, has made for golden treasure
at Lake Guatavita, in Colombia, where
it is supposed that the native Chib
chas centuries ago cast millions of
gold and precious stones in carrying
out the peculiar rites of their religion
is an interesting one.
The company has spent thousands
of dollars in draining the lake that
they might get at the treasure sup
posed to be buried there, and now they
are praying for rain to fill it again,
for when the water had all been
drained off, it was found that the mud
at the bottom1 was 25 feet deep and
would have to be washed away to get
at the treasure supposed to lie at the
bottom. But with the water drained
out and the clouds withholding their
accustomed moisture, the equatorial
sun soon baked the surface of the bot
tom as hard as a rock. This put a
stop to the effort to get at the treasure
and for two years now the company
has been waiting for rain.
Gold Idol Recovered from Lake.
The reason for the belief that this
lake holds untold treasure is due to
a religious ceremony which the Chib
chas observed. These natives regard
ed the Lake of Guatavita, a little pool
in the crater of an extinct volcano,
some 9,000 feet above the sea level,
, as sacred. They believed their pro
tecting deity lived in it. This deity
was known as El Dorado, which
means, not as is generally believed,
the golden city, but “The Golden One.”
To this “Golden One” the Chibchas
offered up every six months a sacri
fice which would make even the
mouth of a South African millionaire
water.
They threw into the lake at each of
these ceremonies an enormous amount
of gold and precious stones.
The following account of one of
these offerings, given by one of the
descendants of the Chibchas, reads
more like a gorgeous romance than
reality, but it must be remembered
that the discoveries since made by
Europeans to some extent at least >
confirm the truth of this strange leg
end.
“All the people,” says the narrator,
“marching in solemn procession, with
music and banners flying, assembled
from the various towns and villages
round the shores of the lake. Pres
ently, after a silence, they made a
great outcry, for there, in a litter on
the top of one of the surrounding
hills, they saw a golden man glitter
ing in the sunlight. This was their
king, who had first been bathed in a
kind of turpentine and then covered
with powdered gold. He came slowly
Houses of Engineers Who Are Wait
ing for Rain.
iown the hill, and embarked on a
jreat barge. At his feet was a pile
)f gold and another of emeralds. He
vas slowly rowed to the center of the
ake, four barges bearing priests sur
•ounding the king’s vessel. Then bra
tiers were lighted on the barges, and
i great bonfire on the shore. The as
sembled people cried out to their
leity, while drums and pipes sound
id, and the priests raised their hands
o heaven. i
“At a sign the multitude turned
heir backs to the lake, for the com
non people might not witness the
ictual sacrifice. A moment later there
vas a great splash. Gilded king, gold
md jewels, were all plunged into the
sacred waters. The gilded monarch
swam in the lake, leaving a glitter
ng wake behind him, while the peo
>le, with renewed clamor, threw their
lersonal offerings of gold over their
leads into the pool. Then king and
leople, believing their sins for the
>ast six months had been expatiated,
ioined in a great festivity.”
•0«0«0*0*0«0*0*0*0*C'*C’*0*
MY FIRST BALLOON ASCENT
A NEOPHYTE TELLS OF HIS SEN
SATIONS DURING FLIGHT.
After the First Thrill of Nervousness
the Experience Was One of Ex
hilaration and Pleasure.
Everything was ready and at the
psychological moment Mr| Percival
Spencer, the aeronaut, tilted a whole
bag of ballast overboard, and the next
moment we were above the elm trees.
By that time the neophyte had suffi
ciently recovered a sense of his where
abouts to look over the side. The
crowd on the lawn was a procession
of specks streaming over the bridge
towards another part of the grounds,
1
Snap Shots of the Balloon Taken from
the Ground During Ascent.
and the polo players on the over side
of the elm trees looked for all the
world like little soldiers just taken
from a child's box of toys and set out
on a green tablecloth. The height
was between 1,800 and 2,000 feet. The
vast expanse of London lay like a
huge map beneath me, every detail
down to the infinitesimal specks of
white that stood for the tea tables in
one corner of the ground of the earl's
court exhibition. You could even see
tiny specks crawling over a sort of
match across a little ring of water to
a miniature merry-go-round in the cen
ter. That was the Maxim “flying
machine.” The completeness of de
tail in the picture suddenly unrolled
was perhaps the most amazing im
pression.
For at first, at any rate, it was dif
ficult to realize that the scene was
real. As the scenic effect of the as
cent has often been described before,
the earth seemed to be dropping away
from you. It was certainly not as if
you were rising above the earth.
Only, in the twinkling of an eye, you
were looking down on everything, with
all the familiar landmarks, all the
wonted standards of comparison, blot
ted out. You may, for example, often
have had a bird’s-eye view from a
comparatively considerable height
say from the top of the Great Wheel.
You are then above your scene, and
the splendid view is beneath you. But
there always remain other points—the
steeple of a church, the tower of the
Imperial institute, or the dome of St.
Paul’s—that adjust, as it were, the eye
to a certain focus. But from a bal
loon there are, of course, no standards
of comparison. The dome of St.
Paul’s iB a flat circular hump in the
ground plan of ita roof, and the Albert
hall is a molehill. Through the haze
on the horizon one saw the Thames
like a silver streak apparently em
bossed above the minlatuv* panorama.
It is customary to describe one's
first ascent as an experience of ex
hilaration and enjoyment. So to a cer
tain extent it may be, but I am not al
together sure of it. I have not the
smallest intention of attempting t
psychological analysis of my emotions
as a novice, but I think I may say that,
a feeling of uneasiness was in thjs
particular case not over due to “blue
funk.” One thing that kept me quiet
was a sense of the unreality of it all.
It was as unsubstantial as a dream
picture.
Trailing, for beginners at any rate,
is the prime sport of ballooning. It
means that a rope 250 feet long is let
down and allowed to trail over the
face of the country. If it diminishes
the pace, it gives one an idea of the
rate one is traveling, and a sense of
motion absent under other conditions.
For example, you may be traveling at
the rate of 30 or 40 miles an hour, but
because you are traveling at the same
velocity as the wind, you seem drift
ing absolutely becalmed. Hence a
straw hat for ballooning is not such
inappropriate headgear as at first
sight it may appear. But trailing
gives you your direction and tells you
that you are traveling. Over trees,
houses, haystacks, everything, glides,
twists and winds the rope. It causes
consternation in the poultry yard and
a sensation among grazing cattle. It
is as near an approach to the joys of
flying as the neophyte is likely to get
in his present incarnation, unless the
Aero club suceeds in its avowed ambi
tion of bringing aeroplanes within the
range of practical aeronautics.
P. H. OAKLEY WILLIAMS.
THE ROAD TO RUIN.
There was a look of despair on his
face as he entered the room and
threw himself on the lounge, while
moans broke from his lips.
His wife saw at once that some
thing dreaafu! had happened.
“Ah, darling," he gasped, "have pity
on me!’’
She was almost speechless with
terror, but she managed to ask:
“What—what can it be?”
“'Twasn’t my fault,” he moaned;
“but—I—we are penniless.”
“Penniless!” she repeated, in a
dazed sort of way. “Penniless! Oh.
my husband! But I am a true wife
I can go back to typewriting. We
shall not starve. Only tell me this
You have not been gambling, you have
not been speculating, and, though
penniless, you have done naught to
tarnish your honor?”
"Nothing—nothing," he replied,
with an effort.
"Then trust me,” she cried. “Tell
me where your money has gone.”
The wretched man placed his arm
about her waist, and, drawing her
closer, ^.sped:
“I have paid the gas bill!”
No Time for It.
Miss Sentimental—Charles, did you
ever allow your mind to pierce the
secrets of the universe, to reason that
this dull, cold earth is but the sepul
chre of ages past, that man in all his
glory is but the soil we tread, which
every breeze wafts in an ever-shifting
maze, to be found and lost in an
infinity of particles—the dust of
centuries, reunited and dissolved as
long as time shall endure?
Charles—No-o, I dunno as I did
You see, I’ve had to earn my livin'.
Heroism. ]
"A man is never a hero to his valet."
"No,” answered Mr. Gazzle. "But
considering the chances I have learned
to take without flinching I ought to be
one to my chauffeur.”—Washington
Star.